I don’t know where to start today. If you can make it to the Super Bowl party, great. We’ll be there, Bandit’s girls will be there, the game starts at 3 p.m. PST and we’ll be rockin’ with three bands at the Blue Cafe until we can’t stand up.
It’s been cool for the coast, but I rode the Buell to a couple of car lots looking at trucks, then Joetta called from Daytona. “Have I got a billboard for you!” she said. There went the truck budget. John Siebenthaler from the East Coast put together some comps and here, somewhere is the one we decided to go with. If you go it will be posted on Highway 92 or International Speedway.
I knew Layla’s birthday was just around the corner, but it was creeping up on me. The Dark Haired One doesn’t have a lot of material wants. She perfers the touchy/feely sensual experience that makes her knees weak, so I went into action. First thing in the morning I called Romona’s Bakery and ordered her a cake, something special. She came from a poor household in the San Pedro projects and with a gang of rugrats running around, budgets were tight. She had never had an official birthday cake. Then I rolled over to a flower shop and picked up a dozen roses, but not ordinary red roses. These looked like a knockout flame job with a cream colored base and bright red edges. My mind was a whirl of sexual notions for the evening and I decided to step onto the edge and try something wild. Since she likes to talk to other women about sex, I reached into my bag of tricks. We better get to the news before this gets too steamy and I call Sin and put off the news til next week.
If you need information about the party, check this link.You can download the invitation here.
BANDIT FACED WITH ANOTHER DEADLINE–Just when he thought the deadlines were under control, Crusing Rider hammers him for a column. Josh Placa, who lives in Sedona, Ariz., and edits Cruising Rider, sent a box of rattlesnakes to the headquarters and threatened to unleash them if the big bastard didn’t come up with a column. Look for the first in a long line of ridiculous bullshit in the summer issue.–Renegade.
DARWIN AWARD PICKS FOR THE WEEK– A 22-year-old Reston, Va., man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. “The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,” Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was “major trauma”.
A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend – no doubt, a future Darwin Awards candidate – was hospitalized.
SUNDANCE AND THE BIKERNET CYBER SPACE BIKE SHOW CHECKS IN– The Digital Gangster has made entry so simple that even the toy poodle that belongs to the old lady across the street could enter – if she had a scoot! Bandit has generously made the entry fee absolutely FREE! You read that right – ZERO, ZIP, NADA! Anyhow, with all of these perks, you can bet that there are plenty of entries keeping me busy here at HQ!
Since we have so many entrants, it was bound to happen – occasionally we run into a real rocket scientist who can’t figure out why his pictures won’t upload to our server. Perhaps it is time for a quick course in Internet photography and scanning 101. First of all, while you might believe that scanning at the highest resolution is the best, this is not entirely true. If you are scanning photos to send to us, the ideal resolution is 75 to 100 ppi. The human eye is incapable of discerning the tiny differences in quality between a 100 ppi photo and a 200 ppi photo, but the 200 takes up more than three times the space on the server. This occasionally means that the photo file becomes too large and cannot upload to our server.
Also, if you are sending two or three different photos, please scan each of them separately. Then upload each photo as directed. Do not lay all three photos on the scanner at once and then upload the one huge, mammoth collage of photos. We here at Bikernet are tempted to dump these in the garbage can, but in all fairness to the competitors, we sit in our office, quietly swearing under our breath, while separating all of these lovely conglomerations!
If your photos turned out fuzzy or overexposed, they will only look worse on the Internet. It might be a good idea to go back out with the camera and try again. Keep your elbows tight to your body when shooting (Not you, Oz!), and keep the camera steady. Keep the sun behind you, and try to shoot on sunny days. If you cannot see the entire bike through the viewfinder, it will not show up in the photo either. Take one step back, and we can trim off the excess if we need to when your photo arrives. Try to find a pleasant background for your pictures – a lake, a grove of trees, a mountain vista – whatever turns you on.
If you are snapping your photos indoors, turn on all of the lights and use your flash. Try to move miscellaneous junk out of the picture so our judges can concentrate on the beauty of your ride and not the cool topless model poster tacked to the back wall of your garage. They have been known to get easily distracted by that type of thing!
Bikernet wants every ride to have an equal chance of winning in the Cyber Space Bike Show, and sending in good quality photos that upload easily is the best place to start! Judging for January starts in just about a week, so hurry to get your entry in today.
–Happy Snapping!Sundance
AGENT M2 UPDATE–Bandit,I am shooting for Daytona Bike Week in March. Progress has been made in the past eight weeks with getting my ex back on track. I believe it is fair and provides for the family. It will be up to me to maintain contact with my kids and monitor their concerns. My ex and I both agree it is in the family’s best interest to see that I complete this last two years of employment and secure the retirement benefits.
So at this point I believe we are well and getting better. I appreciate your concern.By the way, your Web site is improving at an alarming rate! I trust San Pedro is not subject to power outages or I hate to think of all us bikernetters missing out on our weekly fix!
–Enjoy the game,Anson
Send batteries and kerosene
AHDRA FOR SALE–An underground contact just slipped us the following:Well, no surprise here, but AHDRA is officially for sale (so went theannouncement at the banquet). What we need out there is one more Rolexrider-gonna fix stuff for us.I will keep you posted. I’m curious to know if the H-D deal will go with it, butI’ll do some checking.
–Mystery correspondent
Cool looking Iron Head
Here are some pics from the Easyriders Bike Show in Charlotte. This is a Chopper’s Inc. Pan.
–Paul
EASYRIDERS FINAL BIKE SHOW DATES FOR THE SEASON AND RODEO DATES FOR THE SUMMER–
Feb. 10
Memphis, Tenn.
Memphis Cook Convention Center
Feb. 16-18
Columbus, Ohio
Franklin County Veterans Memorial
Easyriders Motorcycle Rodeo Tour 2001
June 22,23,24
Hopkinsville, Ken.
Western Kentucky State Fairgrounds
July 6,7,8
Middletown, N.Y.
Orange County Fairgrounds
July 13,14,15
Wilson, N.C.
Wilson County Fairgrounds
July 27,28,29
Prospect, Penn.
Butler County Fairgrounds
Aug. 17,18,19
Fowlerville, Mich.
Fowlerville Fairgrounds
Aug. 30-Sept. 3
Chillicothe, Ohio
Ross County Fairgrounds
INTERESTED IN ADVERTISING ON BIKERNET?–Or would you like to order a dozen or more copies of “Sam ‘Chopper’ Orwell” for your shop? Well, the info for both is now posted on the home page, or just click here for the details.
INCREDIBLE BAMM REPORT–CC: South Carolina ABATE has filed an equal access bill to allow bikers toenter places of public accommodation without being harassed for their dressor mode of transportation. It’s been pre-filed as H 3115.
CC: ABATE of Pennsylvania’s Board of Directors approved a proposedlegislative agenda this past Saturday and told their “junior” lobbyist,CharlieUmbenhauer to proceed. In case we never mentioned it, Charlie had beentheir State Legislative Coordinator since the invention of dirt and bowedout atthe end of 1999 claiming a multitude of personal issues that needed to beresolved. Near the end of 2000, yours truly proposed to the Board ofDirectors that we hire him and pay the man for the work he has always donefor free. Although he has been involved with motorcycle rights far longerthanBruce Johnson, the lobbyist Charlie hired to work with ABATE back in thelate ’80s, it’s kind of amusing to refer to a man who won a Golden SpokeAward as a “junior” lobbyist.
If you enjoy the saga of Pennsylvania’s legislative attempts, here’s themenufor what to expect during the 2001 – 2002 Legislative Session here inGestapo land:
1. Helmet Law – what else? Get the damned thing off our heads.
2. Equal Access – sound familiar? We got publicly called wimps for wantingan “anti-discrimination” law which was previously filed on our behalf. Wewere included with groups I won’t name here who need equal employmentand housing protection. Now that we have the right name maybe we can getsome action.
3. Handlebar Height – ABATE of PA is going on record in favor of norestrictions on ape hangers and will ask that the current law be done awaywith. It was enacted to discriminate against chopper riders and give thecopsa way to harass them. It never was a safety issue that held much water. If aguy wants to ride around looking like he’s hanging from a tree, by damn, heought to have the right to do it.
4. Covered Loads – Maryland has a covered load law with teeth. Ours can’teven gum a violator. We’re going to use Maryland’s law as a model and worktoward stopping a variety of shit from sand blasting bikes and cars,breakingwindshields and putting big knots on various parts of our bodies. We wantthe act of dropping unsafe stuff all over the road causing dangerous ridingconditions to be illegal.
5. Motorcycle Parking – Same deal as last year that would allow two or morescooters in a space without indiscriminate ticketing of one or more of them(a fairy government’s way to produce revenue). It passed as part of thetransportation Omnibus bill, but got vetoed by Ridge because of other stuffinthe 203 page bill he didn’t like. Back to square one – AGAIN.
6. Veteran’s Plates – Lots of us old biker farts were once young defendersofpeace, truth and the American Way. Some of us, on the other hand, werejust plain killers who enjoyed the hunt. Nevertheless, our veterans alldeserveto be recognized for their service to the country and what better way thanontheir scooter’s license plate?
7. Motorcycle Awareness – Patterning the initiative after Virginia’sVCOM/ABATE success in this area, we want motorcycle awareness taughtin every driver’s ed class taught in the state. In addition, we wantmotorcycleawareness questions on the licensing exam; just to make sure the kidsweren’t playing grab ass during that portion of their training. We hope itwillkeep them from running us over later on.
8. Motorcyclists Matter – Someone will send you the info on this; so it’senough to say here that it’s an effort in consort with the AMA to getstifferpenalties levied against the folks who take away our right-of-way and causeus to be run over by them. “I didn’t see him” won’t float as an excuse forgetting a $25 failure to yield ticket while there’s a dead body on the hood.We want them prosecuted and prosecuted BIG TIME. Enhancing penaltiesmight just make the jerks pay attention to what they’re doing and looktwice,maybe thrice.
9. Taxing our brothers – That’s about what it amounts to, but it’s for agoodcause and will save their life if they take advantage of the program. PA’sMotorcycle Safety Courses are funded by a whopping $2 surcharge onmotorcycle learner permits and class M licenses. That means anyone with ascooter permit or license can take the MSF’s MRC or ERC course for free. Infact, permit holders who pass the MRC can be licensed right on the spot byour Site Coordinators. Last year we trained over 14,000 riders. But that wasthe maximum available funds would allow and we have around 750,000licensed motorcycle operators in this state with more coming on board everyyear. Last year, the state extended the valid time period for a permit from6months to a year. That means, duh, that fewer learner permits will be issuedand the program will be getting less funding. ABATE of PA’s commitment tomotorcycle safety demands that we propose an increase in the surcharge sothat more riders can be properly trained in this extremely importantprogram.
CC: Meanwhile, just below us in Maryland some bozo has proposed a billmandating motorcycle safety training as a prerequisite for obtaining amotorcycle license. Pretty dumb move considering there apparently isn’t anyfunding in place, an insufficient number of training sites are available and ashortage of qualified instructors exists not to mention the fact that, evenifthey had enough of everything mentioned, making the course mandatory willprobably result in more unlicensed riders on the road who haven’t had toexhibit any skills at all. In addition, students forced into trainingclasses mayhave a tendency to be disruptive and prohibit serious students who choose totake the course from having the opportunity to learn. HB 141 is simply a badidea. If you’re local to the following areas you can call 410-946-5400(Baltimore) or 301-970-5400 (Washington), and request a copy of the bill.Anyone not living there can eat up some government phone money and call800-492-7122 to get a copy. Apparently they maintain a log of bill requestsand comments, using it as a barometer of the public’s interest. This is thesame state run by a governor who wants built-in electronic trigger locksthatcan read the user’s hand print before the gun can be fired. That would bethesame governor who explained how easily an adult can remove a trigger lock ifthreatened by an aggressor and then fumbled with the damned thing fornearly a half hour before giving up. Prime time news was a hoot for the pro-gun folks that night.
PICKERINGTON, Ohio — The American Motorcyclist Association (AMA) hasannounced that Richard Gray and Jeff Smith were the winners in this year’selection for the AMA Board of Trustees.
Gray, a 21-year AMA member who lives in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, hasserved on the Board for the past six years and is the current chairman. Hewas the winner in a three-way race for the seat representing the NortheastRegion. Other candidates were Jerry Wood, and Robert Coy.
In North Central Region balloting, Smith, of Wausau, Wisconsin, earnedthe Board seat over Dale Greenwald. Smith is a 28-year AMA member whoserved for nine years as executive director of the American Historic RacingMotorcycle Association (AHRMA) before retiring last year. He is also a two-time world motocross champion. In the Northwest Region, Trustee Dal Smilie of Helena, Montana, who isalso the Board vice chairman, was unopposed. All three candidates were elected for three-year terms.
Alert! New high-tech Sniffer lets police secretly test driver’s breathfor booze WASHINGTON, DC — A sneaky new high-tech device that allowspolice to analyze your breath for traces of alcohol without yourknowledge or consent doesn’t just violate the Fourth Amendment, warnsthe Libertarian Party — it could get you tossed into jail for drunkdriving even if all you did was use mouthwash.
“All you have to do is breathe once, and, without so much as asearch warrant or a warning, police can administer a drunk-driving testthat is unreliable, underhanded, and unconstitutional,” charged theparty’s national director, Steve Dasbach.
CC: ABATE of PA’s Legislative & Leadership Seminar this coming weekendis SOLD OUT. In fact, we’re over-sold so if everyone shows up then someonewill be eating their Awards Banquet chow while sitting on the floor or theedge of the stage. Circle your calendar now for 2002. The seminar is alwaysheld on the last weekend of January.
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