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BIKERNET WAKE-UP CALL– A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is three o’clock in the morning!”He slams the door and returns to bed.
“Who was that?” asked his wife.
“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.
“Did you help him?” she asks.
“No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is pouring outside!”
“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!”
The man does as he’s told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”
“Yes,” comes back the answer.
“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where are you?” asks the husband.
“Over here on the swing!” replies the drunk
–from Helen Wolfe
SKOOTER’S RIDE–Here’s what kickin’ strokers and riding hardtails got me….Now, I got me a button start evo stock…. That’s a x-ray of my spine…..even has a battery pack..The thing that looks like a headstone. Havent been able to ride for over a year now and the doc says I have a year to go before it’s all healed, and I can ride again. Two years ago I kicked my ’68 Shovel, 98-in. and it kicked back. Broke my lower back, but bro, it was a real fast stroker.
HERES THE ’68 THAT WRECKED MY BACK…TOOK ME FIVE YEARS TO BUILD IT.. AND YEAH IT HAD COMPRESSION…12 TO 1, WITH 8 GRAND IN THE ENGINE.
— SKOOTER
BIKERNET NUMBERS REPORT–Just FYI, Bikernet hit all time high numbers for December: 98,000 unique users, 420,000 visitors, impressions 2 million and 5 million hits. We must be doing something right. That number passed newsstand numbers for most bike mags including Motorcyclists at 72,000, Cycle World at 71,000 copies, Hot Bike at 64,000 and we’re creeping on American Iron. Not bad.
Old shot from Bob T.
MR. LUCKY COMES TO TOWN–Mr Lucky’s will be offering an eclectic mix of parts and accessories for H/D motorcycles as well as clothing and lifestyle products for the rider. As we put it; Cool parts for your Ride, Cool threads for you Hide!
As discussed, we acquired rights to the Jammer Cycle Products brand, and are putting together a product line focusing on the retro, chopper/bobber styles of the ’60s & ’70s. Springer front-ends, girders, rigid frames, jockey shifts, coffin tanks, trumpet mufflers, ape-hangers–all the chopper parts that Jammer introduced back in the 1970’s, which are once again the rage.
Along with the Jammer brand we acquired the jammerclub.com website, and are in the process of revamping the site adding the new parts along with wiring diagrams, tech tips etc. drawn from the old Jammer’s Handbook. IT should be cool.
Both the Mr Lucky’s and Jammer collections will be sold retail direct, utilizing the websites, mail-order and participation at events with our truck/trailer rig. Our debut will be the ‘Louisiana Bike Expo’ at the Superdome in New Orleans May 2-3-4.
Check out the site: http://www.jammerclub.com/
–Mr. Lucky
JIM MC CLURE COMIN’ AROUND–I don’t think all of you know that Jim got his new heart on Saturday. It has some rejection problems. They took him back to surgery yesterday and looked at the heart. It’s doing good. They were able to close the incision. He looks good but is expecting more surgery Friday.
Please continue to pray. He is not out of the woods, but the Doctors feel good, and we all know that the Lord is taking care of him.
Charlie Brewton
MYSTERY REVEALED– Joan Crawford’s long lost daughter.
–from Chris T.
The original Stealth, Mike Pullin, from Charlotte H-D.
THE STEALTH REPORT– One of the things I enjoy the most about my job is helping people customize and personalize their bikes. When a new customer buys a bike and takes the rider course we offer, we give them a complete tour of all the departments in the shop. I always tell them that they own the bike after all the paperwork is done, but it really isn’t theirs until they install their personal stamp and fingerprint. Most of them look at me like I am crazy! I may be!
A couple of weeks usually pass and they come back and we talk about personalizing the bike. I really enjoy when the light bulb comes on and they get into it. There is a ghost hiding in every bike, waiting to be seen. Every bike eventually takes on the personality of the owner. I tell people “You only live once, so make the bike the way you want it.”
Some will worry about how much they are spending, and I don’t pressure them to over spend. If I think they’re up to it, I usually say “Well you know what, I have never seen a U-Haul truck following a hearse at a funeral.” The point is to enjoy what you have now. Tomorrow is not a promise to any of us. The ones whose hearts aren’t really into it, find there is nothing more fun to do. Most of us who read this site know what I am talking about.
Another thing, it sure is fun doing something you love for a living. There is a saying that goes “Two of the most important things in life are finding what you are good at and what makes you happy, and if GOD is smiling down on you, they are both the same.” I have this framed in my office and try to read it every day. To me there isn’t anything better to do than customizing bikes and working at something you really don’t consider work!
So keep on chop’n and customizing and remember you don’t have to be on the Discovery Channel to have a custom bike!
Later!
–Mike(THE STEALTH)
RUN FOR BREATH UPDATE–Mike asked me to let you know that the 6th Annual Run For Breath “In Memory of Justin Pullin” will be held on Sunday, July 25, 2004. Ben’s V-Twins in uptown Charlotte will handle the poker run registration. The run will end at Tumbleweeds Bar & Grill in Monroe (formerly Buffalo’s Cafe) where we will have the bike show.
You wanted our contact numbers, so here goes.
H-D of Charlotte 704-847-4647, Mike ext. 112, Meanest, ext 100
Mike’s cell 704-516-4630
Meanest cell 704-651-9055
Our first planning meeting is Monday, January 26, so I’ll update you after that.
Now, get busy on that best of show trophy!!
Love and kisses,
–Meanest
BIKERNET WEATHER REPORT–Spokane, Washington, We’re snowed in – even Mailman didn’t go anywhere today. Now its freezin’ rain, but the blanket of snow is still on the ground.
–Luv,
Helen
ROGUE DIRTY COP REPORT EXPANDS–Maybe the Government Will Continue To Bust Dirty Cops. There is Just Too Many Incidents Like This Happening All Over The Country. It Has TO STOP!–Rogue
Bad Cop: Detroit Bad Cop examples Michigan – In a court filing, government prosecutors say indicted Detroit Police officers planted drugs and guns on residents at least 13 times during a two-year period.
Eighteen officers were indicted last year on corruption charges. The filing precedes two trials in U.S. District Court, the first of which is scheduled to begin in February, The Detroit News reported Wednesday.Wayne Circuit judges already have overturned the convictions of two men based on interviews with indicted officers.
“The officers planted drugs and guns on their victims. They claimed that the arrests of the victims occurred in public when actually (the) defendants entered the victims homes illegally and arrested them. They repeatedly made false claims of ‘hot pursuit’ to justify unlawful entries. They caused bodily injury to the victims and concealed that,” government lawyers John Engstrom and Michael Bullota said in a 50-page U.S. District Court filing Tuesday.
Bad Cop… No Doughnut!
–Rogue
BIKERNET FARM INVESTIGATION–A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer, seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease.
The Lady: Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?
The Farmer stared at the reporter and said: Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?
The lady reporter (obviously embarrassed): Well, sir, that’s a new pieceof information, but what’s the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?
The Farmer: And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?
The reporter: Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?
The Farmer: I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing youonce a year, wouldn’t you get mad?
–Rogue
NEW CARTOONIST–Dear Bandit, My name is Rick London and I am a disabled college student inHot Springs, Ar.
I’m also a cartoonist and thought of a fun cartoon that might work forBikernet for a Thanksgiving issue. Please let me know what youthink?
–Rick London
Londons Times Cartoons
www.londonstimes.us
Thanksgiving? Goddamnit, I just survived the holidays.
Old shot from Bob T.
BIKERNET TOP FUEL HORSEPOWER TRIVIA–One Top Fuel dragster 500 cubic inch Hemi engine makes more horsepower thanthe first 4 rows at the Daytona 500.
Under full throttle, a dragster engine consumes 10 gallons of nitromethaneper second; a fully loaded 747 consumes jet fuel at the same rate with 25%less energy being produced.
A stock Dodge Hemi V8 engine cannot produce enough power to drive adragster supercharger.
With 3000 CFM of air being rammed in by the supercharger on overdrive, thefuel mixture is compressed into a near-solid form before ignition.
Cylinders run on the verge of hydraulic lock at full throttle.
At the stoichiometric 1.7:1 air/fuel mixture for nitromethane the flamefront temperature measures 7050 degrees F.
Dual magnetos supply 44 amps to each spark plug. This is the output of anarc welder in each cylinder.Spark plug electrodes are totally consumed during a pass. After 1 way, theengine is dieseling from compression plus the glow of exhaust valves at 1400degrees F. The engine can only be shut down by cutting the fuel flow.
If spark momentarily fails early in the run, unburned nitro builds up inthe affected cylinders and then explodes with sufficient force to blowcylinder heads off the block in pieces or split the block in half.
In order to exceed 300 mph in 4.5 seconds dragsters must accelerate at anaverage of over 4G’s. In order to reach 200 mph well before half-track, thelaunch acceleration approaches 8G’s.
Dragsters reach over 300 miles per hour before you have completed readingthis sentence.
–from Larry Mallin
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