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CANTINA OFFER–Every 10th rider to join Bandit’s Cantina receives a signed copy of Bandit’s latest book “Sam ‘Chopper’ Orwell”. Here’s the latest winner:
Phillip Babcock
Lantana, Fla.
BIKERNET BIKESHOW WINNER–I just got in from California. I took my wife down to Mexico cancer treatmentplace, which was a scam, American Biologics of Mexico. They really dxed her, nowshe’s going into liver failure. Winning this bike show thing was a brightspot for us in the midst of the struggle of our lives, and thank you if youcould put out the info for other brothers not to buy into this cancer place.It’s in Tijuana, Mexico. I would be very grateful, and thanks again for the proudsmile we’re wearing.
–Paul Gendron
PS. My wife is 31 and got breast cancer at 28. It went toliver, lungs and bones. Terminal so we bought into the Mexico gig
DONT LETTHIS HAPPEN TO YOU OR LOVED ONES!
Our hearts go out to you and your wife. Keep the faith that you’ll find a way and make every hour count.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON VR TEAM CONTINUES REBUILDING FOCUS– Harley-Davidson VR 1000 riders Pascal Picotteand Mike Smith finished ninth and 10th respectively in the eighth round ofthe AMA Superbike Series held at Laguna Seca Raceway on Saturday.”The weekend went well, but we still have a long ways to go.
The team andriders continue to work around some of the bike’s deficiencies, and arelooking toward new improvements the engineering team is addressing,” saidHarley-Davidson Director of Racing John Baker. “The kind of improvementneeded takes time, but I’m pleased with our progress.”Picotte and Smith, who qualified 12th and 13th, ran strong throughout therace, with Picotte locked in a race-long battle with Yamaha’s Tommy Hayden.Smith moved into 10th midway through, and held that position to the end.”I’m happy with our finish,” said Smith. “We’re not that far away – I wasmatching the leaders in several areas of the track, such as exit speed outof the corners, and even horsepower seemed close.”
Privateer VR rider Jordan Szoke finished 11th for the Austin/Blue Bayou H-Dracing team, earning top finishing privateer honors once again.”Jordan is having a very good year as the top privateer in the series,” saidBaker. “We’re proud of that team’s efforts and will continue to activelysupport them.”
Kawasaki’s Eric Bostrom finished first, Honda’s Miguel Duhamel grabbedsecond and Suzuki’s Mat Mladin took third.Harley-Davidson’s VR Team will return to action July 20-22 as the AMASuperbike Series heads to Lexington, Ohio, for a double-header.
EROTIC HOME REMEDIES–A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class on a plane. The woman sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man isn’t sure he saw what she did, and decides he is probably hallucinating.
A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man is about to go nuts. He can’t believe that he’s seeing what he’s seeing.
A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs yet again.
The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, “Three times you’ve sneezed, and three times you’ve taken a tissue and wiped it between your legs! What kind of signals are you sending me, or are you just trying to drive me crazy?”
The woman replies, “I am sorry to have disturbed you, sir. I have a rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.”
The man, now feeling badly, says, “Oh, I’m sorry. What are you taking for it?”
The woman looks at him with a coy smile and says, “Pepper.”
–I. Evans
BANDIT’S CANTINA DOOR PRIZES–We pull a door prize for a Bandit’s Cantina member once a week for valuable prizes or junk. But the twist to this program is that you can make a wish, and if we can fill it, goddamnit we will. The wishes reach off-the-wall proportions at times, like the following: “You need to send a prayer from Bandit and a signed copy of Orwell to:
Steve Wilson,
Glenwood Springs
You got it Steve. We’ll take care of you. Next week we’ll run more of these requests.
BANDIT RECEIVES UNMARKED PACKAGE–UPS recently arrived with a small package. Bandit opened it and discovered an old 45 record by the Arrows. Prepared to find a record player and play it backwards to retrieve the satanic message, he discovered that one side had the “Blues” theme, which is the title cut from the “Wild Angels” movie. Peter Fonda and Bruce Dern are in it. There are some old shots of Pedro in it also. “BongoParty” on the other side speaks for itself. The Arrows were a cool band for the time.
This little trinket from Paul at Charlotte H-D will be framed and become a valuable part of the Bandit Museum.
TWO COUPLES–Two couples were playing cards. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill’s wife wasn’t wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Johnhit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill’s wife followed him and asked, “Did you see anything that you liked under there?”
John admitted that, well, yes, he did.
She said “You can have it, but it will cost you $100.” After aminute or two, John indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn’t, John should come to herhouse around 2 p.m. on Friday. Friday came and John went to her house at 2 p.m. After payingher $100 they went to the bedroom, had sex and then John left.
Bill came home about 6 p.m. He asked his wife, “Did John come by this afternoon?”
Reluctantly, she replied, “Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes.”
Next Bill asked, “Did John give you $100?” She thinks, “Oh hell, he knows.” Finally she says, “Well, yes…he did give me $100.”
“Good,” Bill says. “John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back.”
Caribbean Custom Cycles rigid comin’ together on Bikernet. Check the Garage.
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–While reading the feature on the WCC bike I sort of sounded like I wasbitching too much. My purpose was to make sure Bikernet.com readersknew exactly what to expect of the parts ordered, and avoid frustrationwhen you buy these parts.
I’m glad to say that the sprocket spacers arefinally exact, the powdercoaters did their job and the bike is rolling onits own. I will send the photos as soon as I can, know all we’ve got left isdetails, even though the bike will take a break since we are loading up forthe trip to Sturgis. Hell seems like a nice option compared to what weexpect this coming week (We have to ship by the 19th. The trailer,paperwork and bikes have to be in the docks by the 17th.) Anyway, it’s thatSturgis time again and I’m sure we are not the only ones who will havedreadful deadlines. Hope you liked the WCC bike. Make sure to log in forsome new stuff coming from the balmy shores of Puerto Rico. And now to thevery limited news this week.
El dia del Harlista (Harley Riders Day) will take place Sunday in thecoastal town of Hatillo, Puerto Rico. It’s a two-day event and the closest we haveof a “formal” bike event. A few years back ol’ Rip came downto our island to enjoy the festivities and shoot some photos. He had a ballwhile riding our old Pans through Puerto Rico.
I had heard rumours of a second Jesse James video, and now it will happen.The video will include Sturgis and such antics. It’s due out in September.
Our friend who had the accident is getting better. His condition is stillfragile but he’s holding on. Thanks to those who wished him well.
Oh well, here it is, short. Gotta go back and deal with the bikes, oilchanges, brake pads and such before loading. Hope to see some of you in theBlack Hills.
–Jose, Bikernet Caribbean Agent
BANDIT THE ASSHOLE–Just wanted to drop you a note and tell ya what an asshole you are…..I gotmy copy of “Chopper” last week, three days away from deadline…… busier thanshit…….I open it up just to browse the first page, and fuck….I’mhooked….I wound up having to work until 4 a.m. this morning just to finish’cause I couldn’t stop reading the damn thing, and when I finished I had torewrite my whole fuckin editorial ’cause you made me think about thepotential future….
Anyway…congrats, and thanks for sending the book…but next time, don’tsend it at deadline……
Scott
Dixi
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