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BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Like some people say, no news is good news. Seems that there’snot much to report this week. The tropical storms have been rolling down from theAfrican coast, which means rainy weather for all of us in the Caribbean. Atleast all those cold fronts and rain from the U.S. are keeping the hurricanesaway, for now. I hope Bandit’s not getting soaked on his way to theBlack Hills. We all have been riding while it’s raining, but a couplethousand miles must be the ultimate bitch! By the way, last week’s photoof the bike is not a BMC, it’s one of our rigids (yes, it’s for sale) andthe WCC won’t be ready before the trip, we are still waiting for some parts(the seat!) and we won’t have time to give her the proper shakedown beforeheading north. I’m sure the bike will be posted as soon as it’s done androlling.On Sept. 29, there will be a ride to raise funds for Cucho’shospital bills (Cucho is our friend who had the accident in Oklahoma a fewweeks ago). The Desertores will take care of the organizing and logistics. We are pretty sure everyone and their mothers will show up for this one.The September issue of The Horse features riders and bikes from Havana, Cuba.Try to pick that one up at your favorite dealership. Most of the guys there aregood friends and go to hell and back just to maintain those bikes.I have some photos of a ride we participated in in Cuba, which we will postsooner or later.
BIKER GENERATION AT THE JOURNEY MUSEUM–The Journey Museum in Rapid City will be hosting a photography exhibition by Michael Lichter, titled Biker Generation. The images, from 20 years of photographing the biker lifestyle, will be on display Aug. 4 through Sept. 4. Also in the gallery and in the museum atrium from Aug. 4-10 will be 13 of the finest custom motorcycles by some of the most famous bike builders in the world. The builders include Mitch Bergeron, Jesse James, Billy Lane, Arlen Ness, Cory Ness, Ron Simms, Donnie Smith, Russ Tom, Eddie Trotta and Paul Yaffe.
Biker Generation, which was timed to coincide with the 61st annual Bike Week in Sturgis, is the Journey Museum’s first show with a motorcycle theme.
The Journey Museum is open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily, and until 6 p.m. from Aug. 4-11. The museum is located at 222 New York St., two blocks east of the Rushmore Plaza Holiday Inn and the Civic Center, where Harley-Davidson is headquartered.
SE FU IN KOREA–There was a time when I trained in close quarters combat with sensie Mark Lonsdale, the most dangerous man in the states. I always interrogated him as to his master was. He would just shout at me, “Wipe on, wipe off, goddamnit!”
For years I dug through his desk and files when he wasn’t around looking for the key individual to his success. I finally met him through a woman in San Pedro who introduced me her brother. Brad Olsen, a constant fighter and trainer, told me that he had been training with the man who came to the states with Bruce Lee an Dick Bondano, a man who is never in his dojo but generally in foriegn countries training secret police and death squads. I had found the most dangerous man on the earth, and here’s his photo.
This was taken after completing a training excercise with the elite Rebel Renegade Squad from Poland. As a token of their appreciation, they awarded him Poland’s only custom chopper.
Dick is now my mentor, Se Fu and Emperial Master.
Bandit,Likewise, I would love to putt to Sturgis, but I don’t have my Road King.Live to ride.
Aloha, Dick Bondano
P.S.There was this couple who were married for 20 years, and every time theymade love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights.Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid.She figured she would break him of the crazy habit.
So one night while they were in the middle of a romanticsession, she turned on the lights.She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery operatedpleasure device.She gets completely upset.
“You impotent bastard,” she screamed at him,”how could you be lying to me all of these years?You better explain yourself!”
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly,”I’ll explain the toy if you explain the kids.”
Oh, Emperial Master, I’m working on your fuckin’ Road King, alright.–Your humble student, Bandit
ANOTHER BEACH RIDE UPDATE–Thank you all! Your determination, passion, hard work and big hearts assured that Beach Ride 10 was the most successful ever! ECF is truly blessed to have such awesome support. I too am blessed to work with all of you, and for your friendship and support. We’re planning a little get-together here soon as well as a follow-up critique meeting. I was thinking of renaming ourselves right after the event —
EXHAUSTED MC
Kia Andersson – L.A Chapter Secretary
RAY PRICE RACING HITS THE ROAD–Ray Price Racing is preparing for its longest road trip ofthe race season. ?The Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley drag race team leavesRaleigh on July 25 to compete this weekend in Stanton, Mich., at for theIHRA’s 20th Annual CarQuest Auto Parts Northern Nationals. ?Price is verycomfortable at the Mid Michigan Motorplex after winning that event in 1999. ?According to Price, “We are familiar with the track and the team iscomfortable at the facility.”
Price and team members Nick Richendollar and Rex Harris will then travel toSturgis, S.D., to compete at the star-studded 1/8 mile, one of the crown jewelsin Harley-Davidson drag racing.
After a week at South Dakota, the team will again turn east and will wrap upthis trip at Bristol, Tenn., for the ADHRA event, Aug. 11-12.
Preparing for the trip, Price went to Rockingham last weekend for a testsession and was very pleased. ?”We ran a 6.60 ET at 209 mph ?right out of thetrailer. ?For our second pass, we tried a different combination that didn’t’work as well, but we learned what we’d gone for and are now ready to hit theroad. This is one of the most exciting months of the session for us. ?When weget back from Bristol we only have seven days to prepare for the 24th AnnualMopar Parts World Finals in Norwalk, Ohio. Bill Bader, IHRA’s fearless leader,has pulled out all the stops for this event. ?The media coverage, theenthusiasm of the fans make this a thrilling event for us to participate in.”
CHOPPERSCYCLE.COM IN STURGIS– We invite you to visit our oil change center located at 3rd and Lazelle in Sturgis. We will be showcasing our EZshop catalog and computers will be set up for rally goers to shop online for all their aftermarket Harley-Davidson parts, accessories and clothing.
We will also offer Sturgis T-shirts and sterling silver jewelry.? We hope to see you there!? We would love to meet our associates in person!
–Treena Davis
SMITH TAKES 11TH TWICE IN DOUBLEHEADER AT MID-OHIO– Harley-Davidson VR 1000 Racer Mike Smithfinished 11th both Saturday and Sunday, while teammate Pascal Picotte took12th Saturday but pulled out of Sunday’s race after experiencing clutchproblems during an AMA Superbike Series doubleheader weekend at the Mid-OhioSports Car Course.
“We’ve tried some things that haven’t worked as well as we would have likedthis year, but we’re getting closer and I’m excited about what I see comingin development,” said Smith. “The entire team is working harder and diggingdeeper to reach the competitive level we all expect.”According to Harley-Davidson Director of Racing John Baker, the developmentprogram is aggressively engineering a variety of VR 1000 enhancements. Theteam tested new chassis components during practice Thursday and Friday atMid-Ohio.
“We’re still looking for step improvements on the chassis and in power, andwe haven’t reached the stage in development where the results can be seen onthe track,” said Baker. “However, the system from which those improvementswill come is in place and running strong. We’re looking forward to theremainder of the season.”
A LESSON IN FARTS-=- This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he woke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn’t stop and that it was perfectly normal. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one
Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes. After years of torture she reckoned she had got her revenge.
About 20 minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip and asked what was wrong.
He said, “Honey, you were right. All those years you warned me and I didn’t listen to you.”
“What do you mean?” asked his wife.
“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vasoline and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.”
–Darcy
New Bikernet stickers. Someday we’ll get ’em right–Bandit.
NEWS FROM GUNNY AND THE NCOM GANG–
HARRISBURG, PENN: Over in York, Penn., (where H-D has a factory), andalso in Akron, Ohio, there is a new twist on stealing motorcycles. It workslike this: A guy reads the ad in the paper that you want to sell your scoot.?He gives you a shout on the phone and says he’s a doctor at such-and-suchhospital. He then sets an appointment with you to meet him at the hospitalwith the scoot so he can look at it. You show up and he, all dressed inscrubs, shows you money but asks for a test ride just as a formality. Youbeing a nice guy, and doctors being so trustworthy, you hand him your keysand he disappears down the street, never to be seen again.
This seems to be a local problem in that area, but seller beware, there aresome real smoothies out there. This seems to be aimed mostly at Harleys, butit could happen to other makes and other localities too. Just use somestreet smarts, and be careful who you let ride your ride, unless you have thebucks in your hand.
GUNNY AGAIN: Another group of dedicated people who continue to fight for usin the courts are the Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) attorneys whoare here for us when we fall off our scooters or bend our fenders.They ride just like we do and know what the world is for us when we areinvolved in an accident. Our Oregon guy, Sam Hochberg, started riding in1971.?Whatever legal question you have, call the A.I.M. attorney in your areaand he will try and help you out. Your initial legal consultation is free,too.?They have some legal eagles now who also handle criminal defense, too –it’s Aid to INCARCERATED Motorcyclists.?Same phone numbers –1-800-ON-A-BIKE.?Me, I try and stay out of the hoosegow, but you never knowwhen you might need a good lawyer.
FEDERAL WAY, WASHINGTON: On Oct. 13, there will bea regional National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) conference in theSeattle area, also sponsored by the efforts of this A.I.M. attorney network.?This FREE Freedom Fighters Forum is hosted by ABATE of Washington and theConfederation of Clubs of Washington and will start at 10 a.m. at the FederalWay Holiday Inn. For directions or room reservations, call the Holiday Innat (800) 583-2272 and tell ’em NCOM sent ya for a discounted room rate of $79single/double. Expect the Western U.S. states to be well-represented by theMotorcycle Rights Organizations and all the Confederations of Clubs in thosestates.?Hope to see ya there!
YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CALIFORNIA IF–The guy in line at Starbucks, wearing the baseball cap, sunglasses, andlooks like George Clooney, IS George Clooney.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay,and you Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
It’s sprinkling out, and there’s a report onevery news channel about “THE STORM!”
GIMME THE KEY TO THE GARAGE–It’s time to move and groove toward the Badlands. This year’s run to South Dakota has but one theme: time and money. How does a man in the 21st century find time to wipe his ass let alone ride to Sturgis?
I’ll be gone for a couple of days, raising hell with my brothers from here to hell and back. Try to hold the place together, will ya? I’ll be back. –Bandit
