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BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN WIFE–A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.Then one day, the rancher’s widow said “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.” The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.
He returned around 2:30 am, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her.
“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.
“Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
“Now take off my socks.” He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
“Now take off my skirt.” He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
“Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said: “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired!”
–from Joe Lankau
WORLD’S MOST POWERFUL ENGINE DISCOVERED–The Wartsila-Sulzer RTA96-C turbocharged two-stroke diesel engine is the most powerful and most efficient prime-mover in the world today. The Aioi Works of Japan’s Diesel United, Ltd built the first engines and is where some of these pictures were taken.
It is available in 6 through 14 cylinder versions, all are inline engines. These engines were designed primarily for very large container ships. Ship owners like a single engine/single propeller design and the new generation of larger container ships needed a bigger engine to propel them.
The cylinder bore is just under 38″ and the stroke is just over 98″. Each cylinder displaces 111,143 cubic inches (1820 liters) and produces 7780 horsepower. Total displacement comes out to 1,556,002 cubic inches (25,480 liters) for the fourteen cylinder version.
Get this: They weigh 2,300 pounds, are 89 feet long and 44 feet high. They put out 108,920 HP at 102 rpms and 5,608,000 foot-pounds of Torque.
Fuel consumption at maximum power is 0.278 lbs per hp per hour (Brake Specific Fuel Consumption). Fuel consumption at maximum economy is 0.260 lbs/hp/hour. At maximum economy the engine exceeds 50% thermal efficiency. That is, more than 50% of the energy in the fuel in converted to motion._ For comparison, most automotive and small aircraft engines have BSFC figures in the 0.40-0.60 lbs/hp/hr range and 25-30% thermal efficiency range.
Even at it’s most efficient power setting, the big 14 consumes 1,660 gallons of heavy fuel oil per hour.
–from Barry Cooney
BUELL XBRR CRACKS TOP 10 IN AMA FORMULA XTREME AT LAGUNA–LAGUNA SECA, Calif. (July 22, 2006) – Jeremy McWilliams, riding a Buell XBRR for Warr’s of London Harley-Davidson/Buell (Great Britain) and Buell Motorcycle Company, finished eighth in the AMA Formula Xtreme race at round seven of the AMA Superbike Championship at Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca.
Classic H-D/Buell-Millville H-D/Buell-Innovative Motorcycle Research rider Mike Hale qualified another Buell XBRR for the Formula Xtreme National, but was forced to retire after the warm-up lap due to an oil leak resulting from a harried, last-minute mechanical change.
McWilliams, a veteran Irish racer and former MotoGP rider, posted the seventh-fastest lap time during Formula Xtreme practice, but had a disappointing qualifying session and started the race from the 15th position.
“We made a few mistakes in Jeremy’s setup for qualifying,” said Steve Anderson, Buell Platform Director, “but the team got the bike back on the pace for the race and that’s what mattered. Jeremy was able to move up quickly at the start.”
Hale, in his first race aboard the XBRR, qualified in 27th position. During the Saturday morning warm up, he bettered his qualifying time by 1.3 seconds and was running in the top 20 overall.
McWilliams sprinted from 15th to ninth position on the first lap of the 15-lap race on the 2.24-mile Mazda Raceway road course, and moved up to seventh spot on lap four. He dropped to eighth on lap 11 and finished in that position.
“A top-ten finish at an AMA National event, with very little setup and practice time is a great result for this young effort,” said Buell Motorcycle Company Chairman and Chief Technical Officer Erik Buell. “We’re learning quickly and the XBRR is gaining performance and reliability, a trend that will continue as we and our dealer teams keep the effort high.”
Both teams racing XBRR models received support from Pirelli Tires, Sentry Insurance, Harley-Davidson Financial Services, Screamin’ Eagle SYN3 Synthetic Motorcycle Lubricant, and Harley-Davidson Visa.
The Buell XBRR is a limited-edition production racing motorcycle based on the Firebolt XB12R, which is reworked at the factory into the XBRR for use in closed-course competition. It offers private racers a professional-level, race-ready, production-based platform.
Pull into www.buell.com for the Buell dealer nearest you.
DAMN, A CASINO IN CENTRAL CITY, SD–Everyone is welcome to come to Wy’s Casino in CentralCity, SD on Tuesday August 8 th during the Sturgis Rally. A truebrother/sisterhood show up for what is a casual dayaway from the push and shove of Sturgis. Central City is one milefrom Deadwood, between Deadwood and Lead.
The owner is an old friendof mine. We usually get started at 2:00 PM with some free food andover the course of the afternoon, hundreds of people come and go.Central City is one of the last bastions of commonsense left in the Black Hills. No police harassment. No open container law,etc. All the locals are great people who only request that you notcause trouble and spoil the great thing they have going.
Tuesday around 7:00 PM, they shut down the only road that runs throughtown, set up a band in the middle of the road and have a streetdance. We have many freedom fighters stop by.
So, if you are in the Hills on Tuesday of Rally week,stop by. Stop by anytime and ask for Mack. All the locals know meand will know where I am or if I am going to be gone long. DuringRally Week, they worry more about me than I do. Or call my cell at763-226-9195.
Can’t wait for Sturgis.Ahhhhh…… The smell of sunscreen in themorning……………
–Mack
CCI SERVIN’ IT UP, HOT NEW PARTS IN TIME TO RIDE–Morgan Hill, CA- As a leader in aftermarket parts and accessories, CCI always brings you the hottest new products. CCI just added more polish to their already shiny parts line up to this riding season. If you’re headed to Sturgis this August be sure to get your catalog update while supplies last (see website for locations) or grab it online at
As usual Arlen’s “Always innovate, never imitate” philosophy was in the forefront when he developed this latest line of products.
The latest line of headlight buckets featuring the patented Phast Lock technology. NO external hardware. A breeze to assemble and disassemble.
Copper Braided hose and wire coverings as featured in Street Chopper? May issue. Clear PVC shrink tube to protect copper finish and your painted or chrome finishes.
The lead dog, Spyke, did it once again with the innovative sleek design of the starter housing combined with an integrated solenoid starter button. Comes in polish, chrome and black finish.
The most innovative frames the market has to offer from Maximum. These frames are built with the highest quality standards in the industry-a must for your next custom project.
Motor Factory has added to the most comprehensive line of carburetor jets on the market today with jet kits offered for S&S, Mikuni, CV, and Keihin carburetors.
Calling all Ol’ Schoolers All Electronic Distributor with a Hall Effect ignition technology packaged in a distributor for early model Big Twin’s from Mallory.
The world’s only battery charger in a chrome V-Twin engine housing from Battery Tender.
Kirk Taylor and James Hetfield unveil their latest project ‘Split Tail’. Stepping off of their “Widow Maker” project, they prove “OUTRAGEOUS” can be repeated.
This and much more has been added to the already barely lift-able CCI catalog. Under new management, Custom Chrome is centering its growth plans on investing in research, development and distribution of innovative parts and accessories. “Delivering what you want, when you want it is what we are committed to giving our loyal dealers. This is just the beginning.
. To learn more please visit: www.customchrome.com or www.motorcyclestuff.com
ANOTHER ARTIST COMES TO BIKERNET–While I was vending at the LA Calendar show I had the pleasure of meetingChris Kallas. After talking with Chris a bit about each others artwork hementioned to me that you do feature articles on BikerNet and I may a greatartist to feature. I’d love for you to view my website and contact me ifyou are interested. My website is http://www.FlamesOfSteel.com.
–Latisha Wood
203-525-2527
We will feature Latisha as soon as we return from Sturgis or Bonneville.–Bandit
CLASSIC H-D ROD KNIVES–This is a picture of a friend of mine , Vince Dunbar, (on left) he is a very talented guy, I saw the picture of the old H-D knife on your site and asked Vince if he could try this. He makes some absolutely beautiful knives all with a manual forge and hammers!
One is a Knuckle rod, the other a Shovel rod. Check ’em out.
–Your bud in FLA. Nelson
“Nelson Citta”
HAVE YOU BEEN TO BIKERNET RADIO–It’s free, it’s cool, and it’s on Bikernet. Check the home page for new interviews, or click on the department and check out all the interviews with industry greats and babes.
PETITION FOR HELMET LAW MODIFICATIONS FOR CALIFORNIA–hosted on the web by PetitionOnline.com, the free online petition service, at:http://www.petitiononline.com/SB969CA/
I personally agree with what this petition says, and I think you might agree, too. If you can spare a moment, please take a look, andconsider signing yourself.Feel free to forward a copy of this email.
–Stan Sheppard
UH OH, TANKS FROM THAILAND– At present we will be doing beginning , Tank from Thailand , slapping Quality steel tanks and fender’s shop our produces tank that make of Steel and we strict in every the step of the production , thus , we then design and do it manually our by oneself all with the experience , tank , our then have the distinction that the figure and free figure follow the imagination and the design that the living things integrate the be Asia , we will then have the ability to will design and build tank give him with , bike or Frame of who is shop way has and your customer not repeated.
At present we will be beginning , shop , our is if , shop your way has the interest is will a friend shares a business with ordering trades or order , from we , if you are not sure our craftsmanship only you tells the size of tank and frame of choppers and pay the freight gives us only , we will to fully design and produce tank at exquisite beautiful neither will dragon stripes bat or the hand differs give show the works for enhance the confidence in our works builds [ wasp ] you , and for help give testimony decide easy go up , we have press picture works file ( , sell chip already ) give testimony see , we are waiting for friendly relations acceptance from you , hope very much that , get work together respectfully ,
“FACT. OF ART” fact_ofart@yahoo.com
PRO-ROLLING CHASSIS KITS OFFERED IN STAGES– If you’ve been trying to figure out just where to start when assembling your new scooter, you need look no further than these unique ROLLING CHASSIS KITS now being offered by Pro-One. Shown here as complete painted Rollers, the kits are offered in 3 stages with options limited only by your imagination. Stage 1 starts with a solid foundation including frame, suspension, complete fork assembly, billet wheels, tires and handlebars.
Stage 2 adds a steel front fender, custom steel Pro One gas tank with pop up cap, Pro One oil tank and strutless Pro-One rear fender. Order Stage 3 and you get everything in stages 1&2 plus a billet headlight, calipers and rotors, leather seating, license plate mount with light, pulley, kickstand and forward controls. This is a complete roller that can be ordered with limitless options including custom paint!
All of the components used in these kits are from Pro-One and manufactured to their exceptional standards for quality and performance. Pro-One has eliminated all the guess work regarding fit and compatibility. All you have to do is decide which style is for you. For complete details call 800-884-8473 or visit them on the Web at www.pro-one.com
THE BLOND AND THE PORCH– A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch”, he said. “How much will you charge me?”
The blonde quickly responded, “How about $50?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house”?
He responded, “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?”
The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those ‘dumb blonde’ jokes we’ve been getting by e-mail lately.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” the husband asked.
“Yes,” the blonde replied, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her.
“And by the way”, the blonde added, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus”.
–from Chris T.
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