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LADIES’ NIGHT OUT– The other day, my friends and I went to a ladies’ night out club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friendpulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the bill. I’m worried about the way things are going, but fortunatelyshe just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks, again. My relief was shortlived.
Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me! Noweveryone’s attention is focused on me, and the guy’s egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could Ido? I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went home.
NEW SITE–ROADHOUSE.COM– I wanted y’all to be aware ofour connect with Bikernet. We are gettin’ a shot in there almost everyweek. This should help promote Roadhouse. Bandit and I are pals, but thatis just us. He has said he would like to “goof” with me. So, Ilet him know, it’s me and him, at 20 paces with squirt guns. And then Iasked, RH Prick to be my second and he sent the letter. We are into thisshit now. But, win or lose, we might get the coverage to pump our sails.
And it seems Mr.Bandit is hip to the cha-cha:) We need his support; sogive it time to work, before any of you crazy purple/black piratesstart to really whip “on.line” with that crew from the purple/white.Let’s see, purple/white, doesn’t that fade to pink? Maybe I shouldn’t havesaid that; oh well:) It’s a game I feel we all can dig. Now, don’t worry’bout sellin’ the farm to get out here. We have enough crew ’round theBiker World to have at least one or two of us to whip on these richf..ers from Bikernet. We all can fight, fuck, or just like Johnny said,Have a ball! How many days is it to Hollister? Commander Ball, it’s youand me, sir. Stop light to light? Pick it? Sorry, it ain’t like the old days,I can’t put up the Redhead. If I do, don’t tell:)
With respect to thosethat count. Ride On! Wino Joe
Hey Joe, you’ll have to send me a big check to make me a rich fuck. If I was rich I’d live in Monterey with you instead of the back streets of San Pedro. Aren’t you riding a new bike? Hell, I’m so poor I can’t pay attention. I’d have a fuckin’ banner here that you could click on and go to their site, but can they get their shit together?–No.
DEASEL UNVEILED–Yes folks, here’s the woman rider behind all the new sizzlin’ fiction on Bikernet. She can turn a tale, make me duck in an empty room or have me chasin’ the new redhead around the house with just a paragraph. Check out her hot style in the story section of Bikernet.
LITTLE MARTIN IS– 4 years old. One day while he was pestering his mother, she said, “Why don’t you go across the street and watch the construction workers building that house? Maybe you will learn something.”
Martin was gone about two hours. When he came home, his mother asked him what he had learned. Martin replied: “Well, first you put the goddamn door up. Then the son of a bitch doesn’t fit, so you have to take the cocksucker down. Then you have to shave a cunt hair off each side and put the motherfucker back up.”
Shocked, Martin’s mother said, “You just wait till your father gets home!”
When Martin’s father got home the mother asked him to ask Martin what he had learned that day. When Martin told him the whole story, dad said,
“Martin, go outside and get me a switch.”
Martin replied, “Fuck you, that’s the electrician’s job.”
Jesus, 1.3 million hits? This really is the best Web site!–Nick Trumbo,ex-Excelsior-Henderson MMC
HANNON RACING READIES MOM FOR ORLANDO– Bill Hannon, owner and crew chief of Hannon Racing, is pleased to announcethat Dan Baisley of Portland, Ore., will be flying into Ft. Myers, Fla., on March2 to test MOM. He went on to explain: “MOM is the name of our No. 2 motor. This is themotor that we ran at Rockingham last year setting the 1/8 mile to 4.755seconds, the new 1/8 mile mph record was increased to 149.91 mph and adazzling new World ET and personal best at 7.574 seconds for the “We are looking forward to going to the race track on March 3 andtrying some of the things that we have been working on. The racetrack has away of showing you if what you did over the winter was worth your effort. Wehave both motors ready to go and we will be running MOM and setting up WES. WES is our No. 1 motor and we’re looking forward to showing what he can do aswell. We look forward to seeing all of our racing friends in Orlando, and wewish all of you a safe trip down and back.” Hannon Racing is supported on their 2001 national circuit by Axtell Sales,Inc., Baisley Hi-Performance, D & G Chassis, Harley Davidson of Ft. Myers,The Landings Realty, Inc., Red Line Oil, MRE, BPM Racing Engines, and DynaTek, RK Chain, Bandit Clutch, Vanson Leathers, & Mastercam. Hannon– www.hannonracing.com SAMSON EXHAUST’S NEW LOGO–Samson’s story of how he built the business from the garage up is now on the site, along with his new logo. “Although the monster logo of the past served the company well for a decade, it was time to make a change,” said Kenny Samson during a Mardi Gras party on Bourbon Street on his way to Daytona for Bike Week. THREE OLD SISTERS– 92, 94, and 96 years old, all lived together. One day the oldest drew a bath. She put one foot in the water, paused, then called downstairs to her sisters, “Am I getting in the tub or out of the tub?” The middle sister started up the stairs to help, then paused and called back downstairs, “Was I going up or coming down?” The youngest sister, who was sitting at the kitchen table having tea, said, “I guess I’ll have to help. I hope I never get that forgetful!” and knocked on wood. She got up, then paused, and called, “I’ll come up as soon as I see who’s at the door!” –Nick Trumbo MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE NEWS–It is an ode to you, my dear. Much love. THE MAGIC MAN: Leave it to the massive, strong arms of mighty Banditenfolding this New York City biker babe to send me all a quiver and protectme from those who lack respect. Bandit is a master life instructor who canteach a lesson or two. Boy can he drill a message home! [Sigh] Must bethe magic from years living on the road and breathing in two-wheeledfreedom. Bandit, the magic man… Leave it to the hunka burnin’ flesh and steel with his smooth, deep, voiceto coax me near, ever closer still, and whisper to me, his breath hot, hismustache brushing against my ear, the value of my creativity, mycontributions to the fold, my ambition and bright future. My left eyebrowlifts both inquisitively and dreamily as I exhale, “Yes. Yes!” Oh, there is a default toughness to me alright, living and surviving in NewYork City; but, sometimes toughness eludes me, especially in business and mycareer as I seek to please and always try to do the right thing towardsfolks–sometimes giving a second or even third chance. No more. Now, I havea renewed sense of how to handle those poor bastards who seek to take, whoseek to dish negative karma because they want to benefit without givingback. They will not steal my magic. I leave them to crush their own soulsand…Bandit works his magic… The life lessons so generously given by Bandit were deep, penetratingmassages, I mean, messages, that brought this Godiva to a higherunderstanding and sweet, so sweet realization, “Yes. Yes!” Darling Bandittaught this damsel a thing or two about how to handle those who treaddisrespectfully in one’s space. So carefully you watched and rescuedme..you’ve renewed my power, my prowess, my diva, my magic. Thank you forthe delicious lessons learned and for keeping me close and watching my backin all ways. Bandit, YOU are the magic, man. –Sasha Vancouver BC CANADA HOG Chapter Schedule ofevents for 2001–NOTE:VANCOUVER HOG CHAPTER MEETINGS WILL BE HELD IN JANUARY, FEBRUARY, MARCH,SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER,NOVEMBER, & DECEMBER THE MEETING WILL BE ON THE FIRST TUESDAY EVENING AT7PM UNLESS IT FALLS ON ALONG WEEKEND. THEN THE MEETING WILL BE THE NEXT TUESDAY EVENING THAT ISNOT A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. THEMONTHS OF APRIL, MAY, JUNE, & JULY THE MEETING WILL BE HELD ON THE FIRSTSATURDAY OF THE MONTH WITHA MYSTERY RIDE AFTER THE MEETING. UNLESS IT FALLS ON A LONG WEEKEND.THEN THE MEETING WILL BE THE NEXTSATURDAY THAT IS NOT A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. THERE WILL NOT BE A VANCOUVERCHAPTER BUSINESS MEETING INAUGUST OF THIS YEAR.March 6th HOG Meeting 4608 Imperial in Burnaby Call (604) 434-1502March 17th Ladies of Harley hosts a Wacky Casino Night Call (604)434-1502March 29th Dinner at On Loc Restaurant , 2010 East Hastings, Vancouvercall (604) 434-1502March 31st Ride our Metal Demo days at Trev Deeley Motorcycles Call(604) 291 BIKE CHROME SPECIALTIES LAUNCHES COMPLETE NEW CATALOG ON WEB–I’m embarrassed to say that I recently found out that the CCI catalog is not available on the Internet. I’ve been pointing riders and builders to their site for over a year. Fortunately, their sister company has their entire catalog posted in their own site. So in the future when someone is looking for a part I have a catalog right on Bikernet for them to check. We’re currently working with CCI to help them launch their catalog. The Bikernet Digital Gangster volunteered to assist. It’s important that our readers can research parts as quickly as possible, find a dealer and get back on the road before happy hour is over. We’ll let you know when the big book of Custom Chrome is available. I’ve been curious to check out the Alhambra Bar in Pedro. The whiskey is always waiting, and Layla is waiting on a couch across town. Hope Daytona is killer. Let’s ride–Bandit.
AS THE STORM SURF LAPS AT THE BLUFF ACROSS THE STREET–and the basement begins to fill with water, the soaked electrical box begins to sputter and spark. Hang in there with us. We’ll keep this damn thing afloat. We’re only allowed to sing the blues for a couple of hours, then it’s time to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and hit the road.
