There I was minding my own business. Agent Zebra was in Seoul, Korea, acting as a pimp for a male escort service. Renegade was tearing the touring chopper apart in the garage. Works Performance is building the shocks a half-inch longer and setting the bottom out dimension so the damn tire doesn’t smoke the rear fender. I was waiting on chrome from Cindy at the famous Century Motors in San Pedro when all hell broke loose. Zebra was back in town, Marco the maniac was squealing through town taking the Agent to Bartels’ to rescue the Street Stalker. Bartels’ had completed a masterful job of returning the black beast to full working order after the terrible car people had demolished it. We needed two more running bikes for the evening. The Agent was dragging along Christian D’Andrea from the production company A Band Apart, part of the Miramax pictures group.
I called Wrench, “Is the Pan running?”
“Of course,” Wrench snarled over the sound-powered phone in the garage, “you bastard, it always runs.”
Renegade stumbled into the Pedro shed grumbling about the chrome not being done. “Where’s the parts, you big ugly…?”
“At the chromers, you dumb sonuvabitch,” he snapped.
We all are so cordial around the World Headquarters of Bikernet.com. “Listen you knife-drawing maniac. Go down to Century and threaten their lives, if they don’t get the parts back. And don’t come back without them.” Renegade is a monster of a man with jet black hair and a constant, consistent red-freak attitude. He slammed me against the wall, pulled his knife and had it jammed under my goatee faster than a humming bird blinks.
“We’ve been friends for a long time, but I don’t take shit from anyone, not even you, brother.” His eyes were coal black and piercing like the knife point causing a trickle of blood to run down my neck.
I coughed, “Then you shouldn’t have any problem getting the parts back.” The pressure was mounting around the headquarters. There were no deadlines anymore. Well sorta, with the site we had deadlines constantly. But it’s only us clowns making ’em happen, so the mellow atmosphere has been loose and easy. This was an anomaly to our daily routine and we were loosing control. Renegade stomped out of the shed rocking the rickety hardwood floors on his way out. I went immediately to the phone and dialed like a madman. “Century Motors?” Cindy came on the line.
“Mrs. Motors?” I said quickly.
“Mr. Bandit,” she responded formerly.
“Renegade’s on his way to get those parts that were to be chromed. He’s pissed…” the phone went dead.
By the time the bastard with “no-patience!” tattooed on his arm almost tore the front door off the hinges entering the shop, Cindy had ’em bagged and ready for the big man.
By 6:30 the Excelsior-Henderson was rolling. Jenny from Dallas, Wrench’s assistant, had checked the oil in the Pan, tested the battery, and broke the seat mount. She also fixed it then shorted the brake wire out so that when we depressed the brake the bike quit. Bare wire against the fender hinge. Fixed. We were ready for the quest from Hollywood.
So the bastard from Korea rolls up on the Street Stalker, the Pan and E-H are humming, and I find out that this kid has ridden maybe once when he was six. As he pulled out for a cruise around the block we took bets that he’d pile into a bunch of trash cans, run aground on a curb, or miscalculate a corner, glance off a rusting Cadillac hulk and center-punch the striped pick-up truck across the street. Fortunately, no one would storm out of any of the leaning one-bedroom bungalows on the block screaming, “Look what you’ve done to my car!” Hell, all the cars on the block are stolen.
Christian made it, we saddled up and flew over the Vincent Thomas expansion bridge, much like the Golden Gate Bridge in Frisco, and into Long Beach for pool and tunes at the Blue Cafe. Then we dragged the virgin rider hanging onto the bars as if he were a flag in a gale, while we escorted him to every dive bar in town. When the night was over we made two conclusions: Either he’d buy a scoot Saturday morning, leave his wife and join Sons of Satan, or he’d lock the door to his office and never come out again. We haven’t heard from him since.
Let’s get to the news:
THE SEARCH FOR A DURFEE GIRDER–Yes, I’m looking for a Durfee Girder for the Sturgis West Coast Choppers project. I actually found one through Phil in Maine. Then I lost touch with Phil. Damn. If you know Phil or where I can find a Durfee Girder, let me know quick (bandit@bikernet.com).
EXCELSIOR-HENDERSON IS BACK–This release blasted onto my Panhead desk this morning: E-H invites you to visit with them during bike week in Daytona, which is rocking right now. The Road Crew is set at the parking lot on the east end of the Daytona International Speedway.
You can test ride a Super X or Deadwood 2000 model. Both models will be there in stock configuration and fully accessorized. Hey, and they’ve change the front fender and it will be available on some of the models.
A new model will be unofficially unveiled on site. This unnamed motorcycle has a completely new and different front suspension and front fender, not yet seen in the Excelsior-Henderson line.
For those of us who hate to see American ingenuity go to waste, it’s good to hear that the Hanlons are still slugging it out.
BRIAN BAILLIE LEAVES THE PLANET Brian was the marketing guru for S&S Cycles, and a most compassionate, hard-working brother. He dealt with everything and everyone involved in the industry to promote the tradition of the S&S name. He was a young man; he passed away a couple of days ago of a heart attack, while attending a basketball game. We’ll all miss Brian, the astute way he handled business, the gracious manner in which he took care of so many tasks. He was in a stressful position and mentioned the stress of the dealer show followed by Daytona Bike week recently. Just goes to show that you have only one life. Money is nothing compared to the precious minutes we have and lose never to recover. Ride forever, Brian.
HORSE MAGAZINE–I’ve kicked off a series about two bikers who live in Los Angeles on the pages of Horse Magazine. It’s horrible, what happens to these innocent sonsabitches. Watch for it.
SONNY BARGER– is selling his autobiography online, autographed. That’s the word but I’m not sure how you can get an autograph online. He’s the icon of the era, it’s about time someone let him tell his own story instead of all the hype we’ve heard for all these years. Check it out: http://sonnybarger.com/index2.html
WAYNE CURTIN JOINS HARLEY-DAVIDSON AS MANAGER OF GOVERNMENT AFFAIRS– As part of our ongoing efforts to position Harley-Davidson Motor Company to meet the challenges facing our business in the coming years, I am pleased to announce that Tim Hoelter has been named vice president, government affairs. Tim’s title change reflects the responsibilities he is assuming for leading Harley-Davidson’s legislative and political affairs efforts, particularly as they relate to our product lines and service offerings.
Tim joined Harley-Davidson in 1981, holding the position of vice president, general counsel and secretary for 15 years. In recent years he has been working closely with Washington to open overseas markets to our motorcycles, serving on the Department of Commerce’s Industry Sector Advisory Committee on Consumer Goods for Trade Policy Matters.
In connection with this organizational realignment, I am also pleased to announce that Wayne T. Curtin has joined Harley-Davidson Motor Company as manager, government affairs, reporting directly to Tim Hoelter. In this newly created position, Wayne will be responsible for helping plan and execute Harley’s domestic government affairs agenda, managing the Company’s PACs, assisting in gaining approval of Rider’s Edge in various states, and developing positive working relations with key allied groups including rider organizations and industry trade associations. Wayne comes to Harley-Davidson with an extensive background in motorcycle public affairs issues. He is a past trustee of the American Motorcyclist Association and former vice president, government relations of the Motorcycle Riders Foundation, Washington, D.C. He is a member of the subcommittee on motorcycles and mopeds of the Transportation Research Board and continues to serve on the management committee for the AMA’s political action committee. A graduate of the University of South Carolina, Wayne will complete his work towards a master’s degree in public administration while employed by Harley. He and his wife, Rosemary, have relocated to Milwaukee from Columbia, South Carolina.
Jeffrey L. Bleustein Chairman and CEO
MUTHUH’s RIDES– has fired up its Web site for all of ya that can’t get enough riding in real life. Or maybe your old lady won’t let ya go to the rally this year. Whatever your problem is, Muthuh (as in “he’s a real big Muthuh”), has a site that lets you get damned-near real-time travelogues on rides throughout the country. These trips are uploaded with journal and pictures each night when a ride is under way. This year he’s got planned trips to Daytona Beach, the Run For The Wall, Sturgis, and Biketoberfest, with a bunch of smaller overnighters and day trips mixed in between. All right, before ya get all righteous about it, the four major rides are gonna cost a mere coupla bucks, usually $4.95, but all the little ride journals are free and there’s a portion of all of the rides that goes to a charity YOU choose when ya sign up. Go check out www.muthuh.com for the skinny, or just sign up for the mailing list to hear about what Muthuh’s up to. The purpose of the rides are to have a little fun, adventure, let ya know which roads are particularly nice rides and see pictures from that day’s ride. As Muthuh says…”It’s not the destination, fool…It’s the RIDE!”
BEST SPAM AD OF THE WEEK–Treat yourself or loved ones to America’s finest hams or turkeys since l984. These are the best quality and best tasting honey glazed-spiral sliced ready to serve hams and turkey breasts available. Whole smoked and oven roasted turkeys also available. We ship to all 50 states to your door. The perfect meal or gift.
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MOTORCYCLE DAREDEVIL “SUPER JOE” REED HOSPITALIZED–in fair condition today after he was injured in a practice jump.
Witnesses said Reed, who previously has performed stunts with his 5-year-old son, was attempting a solo 30-foot jump Saturday night when his front tire hit the landing ramp too soon.
He had been scheduled to perform a series of jumps during the weekend at the Reserve hotel-casino.
Reed suffered several broken bones, said Reserve marketing director Michelle Shriver.
In July, Reed jumped his motorcycle 13 feet between ramps while blindfolded and accompanied by his 5-year-old son, “Super Joey,” who rode straddling the bike’s gasoline tank.
Spectators, including Joey’s friends from his day care center, chanted “Jo-ey! Jo-ey!”
TOP NINE SIGNS YOUR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE IS UNDER-QUALIFIED
9. Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii.
8. Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen’s character on “The West Wing.”
7. His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is “That Bob Vila guy.”
6. Outstanding record as governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact that no one really cares.
5. Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, “The state or the D.C. thingie?”
4. At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, “You wanna wrestle?”
3. Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all.
2. Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, “I win!”
1. On the very first question of the debate, he attempts to use a LIFELINE.
CAMPBELL WANTS POLICE TO BUY AMERICAN Colorado Senator Says Foreign-Made Motorcycles Just Aren’t Good Enough
Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell (R-Colo.) has launched a crusade to convince the Capitol Police to purchase more American-made motorcycles for its fleet.
Campbell raised the issue Tuesday at a hearing of the Senate Appropriations subcommittee on the legislative branch. Although he’s not a member of the subcommittee, the fiery Senator-a member of the full committee-made his presence felt quickly.
“These little foreign bikes, they break down and look like junk,” Campbell said, directing his stare at members of the Capitol Police Board as they waited to testify.
Campbell, who served as a sheriff’s deputy in Sacramento, Calif., in the early 1970s, is irked because he included language in last year’s legislative branch appropriations bill providing $103,000 for the Capitol Police to purchase new motorcycles and encouraging the department to purchase American-made bikes. Out of the current fleet of 46 motorcycles, just three are American.
At the hearing, Campbell-a motorcycle enthusiast whose family owns eight bikes-complained that the foreign cycles did not have the power to support lights or sirens. Therefore, they can’t be used to make traffic stops or to escort foreign delegations.
“I’m gonna rag it till we get rid of these pieces of junk,” Campbell declared. “They’re an eyesore. … Millions of people from around the world come here, and I don’t want our police laughed at.”
From A Band APART– I gotta tell you how grateful I am for Friday’s ride. It was fucking magic.
You guys were as gracious as the day is long. Of course, for lore-building purposes, I’ve embellished the evening’s events ever so slightly when I recount my adventure to friends-it now includes a beating where I kill a man, where we ride in pack formation and drive a cop off the road, etc.
I spoke to the boys at Smith and I’m wrapping my head around 1%ER. Best, Christian
RIP TRIBUTE Gentlemen: I just read the news, about the passing of The Ripper Roo from Berdoo. Definitely sad news, he will be missed, his adventures of the road, and his love of life. I got a feeling, he will be out there In The Wind, with all of us, as we travel to Sturgis, or just down the road to visit our Bros. Ride free forever, Mike Evo, Cohoes, New York
READ ABOUT THE GAS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last year on April 30,1999, a gas out was staged across Canada and the U.S. to bring the price of gas down, and it worked. It’s time to do something about it again. O
nly this time let’s make it for three days instead of just one. The so-called oil cartel decided to slow production to drive up gasoline prices. Let’s see how many CanadianAmerican people we can get to ban together for a three-day period in April, NOT TO BUY ANY GASOLINE, during those three days.
LET’S HAVE A GAS OUT. Do not buy any gasoline from APRIL 7, 2000 THROUGH APRIL 9, 2000. Buy what you need before the dates listed above, or after, but try not to buy any during the GAS OUT. If you want to help, just send this to everyone you know and ask them to do the same. We brought the prices down once before, and we can do it again. Come on North America, let’s stand together.
WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Even if you receive this 100 times, keep passing it around, this way you know everyone is being informed and no one will forget!
Hey ya’ll- I’m reading a book by Hermann Hesse called “Steppenwolf.” There’s a quote by Joseph Mileck in the introduction where he tries to sum up Hesse’s outlook on life in our times. It hit home with me and I wanted you to hear it…
“Spiritually and culturally, the twentieth century had always appeared most bleak to Hesse. Our era was for him one of moral depravity and intellectual mediocrity, of surface glitter, smug comfort, sham conventionality, and foolish optimism. It is a materialist age where science has become a religion and the final criterion of value is function. Man has lost his soul in this world of money, machines and distrust.
He has exchanged his spiritual peace for physical comfort. With his imagination stunted and his feelings stifled, he no longer appreciates beauty, nor is he capable of real artistic creation. All vital rapport with God and nature has been lost, reason has supplanted faith, and society has forgotten the individual.”
The man had vision, eh. -Tim
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck.
What three two-letter words denote “small”? “Is it in?”
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.
Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.
BIKER ANTI-DISCRIMINATION LEGISLATION ADVANCES IN ARIZONA– By a vote of 6-0 on February 3, 2000, the Senate Transportation Committee unanimously approved SB1475 to send Arizona’s biker anti-discrimination bill on to the Senate Commerce Committee, where the legislation passed by a vote of 6-1 the following week. SB1475, the Equal Access Anti-Discrimination bill sponsored by Senator Keith Bee, who was the keynote speaker at last year’s NCOM >Convention in Phoenix, is expected to be heard on the Senate Floor soon.
”We used the Biker Anti-Discrimination legislative packet from NCOM to determine the exact language that we needed here in Arizona, and we’ve picked up a lot of support in the legislature after adequately explaining our message,” said Roger ”Priest” Hurm, Chairman of the Board of the Modified Motorcycle Association (MMA) of Arizona, and member of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) Board of Directors.
”We’re not against dress codes, and we’re not trying to tell businesses how to manage themselves,” explains Priest. ”We’re just saying that you cannot refuse public services to a person just because they ride a motorcycle or look like a biker.” Actually, the state legislature has two pro-motorcycle bills up for consideration, thanks to the hard work of an Arizona motorcyclists’ lobby >team, comprised of a registered lobbyist from each of the state’s three motorcycle organizations (ABATE of Arizona, the MMA of Arizona, and the Arizona Confederation of Motorcycle Clubs).
SB1074 would dedicate $1 per registered motorcycle to the Motorcycle Safety Fund to be used specifically for safety education. The bill, sponsored by Senator Tom Smith, has passed unanimously out of both the Senate Transportation Committee and Appropriations Committee, and it too will soon be voted on by the full Senate.
”Our goal is to add to the fund in the future to help subsidize motorcycle training and make it more affordable for all,” said Priest. ”We’re gonna bring two new Arizona laws with us to Frisco,” he promised, in reference to the upcoming NCOM Convention in San Francisco in May. NATIONAL COALITION OF MOTORCYCLISTS (NCOM)
THIS IS A GREAT DEAL–NOW THAT I FOUND THE SITE. I TYPE LIKE A CHICKEN PLAYIN’ PIANO. WITH YOUR SITE I CAN POINT AN CLICK. I AM GLAD TO KNOW THERE IS A PLACE TO GO FOR THOSE OF WHO LIKE TO BUILD ‘EM OURSELVES. I AM STILL GOIN’ OVER THE SITE YOU HAVE, I’M NOT A NET NUT BUT THIS LOOKS GOOD. I WILL BE BACK WHEN I CAN TO ENJOY THE STORIES AN’ ALL. KEEP IT UP, BANDIT AN’ CREW. -TOM
CITIBANK FORCES GUN WITHDRAWAL– Financial giant no longer serves “businesses that deal in weapons.” A new corporate policy at Citibank, one of the largest corporate banks in the world, prohibits “maintaining accounts for businesses that deal in weapons,” according to a letter sent from the Las Vegas branch of Citibank to a local pistol club owner.
The letter, dated Feb. 7, said the Nevada Pistol Academy would be forbidden from doing business at the Citibank branch as of Thursday, Feb. 17. The “Notice of Account Closure” said the bank was closing the academy’s checking account and instructed account holders to refrain from making further deposits or writing checks on the account.
After the closing date, “any additional funds remaining in your account on the date of closure will be sent to you in the form of an official bank check,” the letter said.
Chris Lorenzo, director of the academy, said he received the bank’s letter “within 3 or 4 days of opening my account.” He told WorldNetDaily that no one at the bank informed him of Citibank’s policy when he opened his account.
When he called to ask about the cancellation, “they gave me the runaround,” he said. WorldNetDaily placed several calls to Citibank officials with no response.
The letter also stated, “If you have any questions regarding our decision to close your account, please contact our 24-hour customer service telephone number, 800-756-7047 or Text Tel/TTD 800-756-0382.”
FIVE REASONS WHY NEW YORK IS QUIET ON SUNDAYS
1. Jews are all visiting relatives on Long Island.
2. The Italians are putting flowers on graves.
3. The Irish are all sleeping off hangovers.
4. The Puerto Ricans can’t get their cars started.
5. The Poles think it is Tuesday >>
BLIPS FROM THE FACTORY–
Rusty Wallace and Robin Yount to Take Part in Daytona HOG Event NASCAR Winston Cup driver Rusty Wallace and baseball Hall of Famer Robin Yount will be in Daytona Beach to attend the Monday evening Harley Owners Group reception at the Ocean Center as well as a media event scheduled for the same day. Both celebs will take part in the welcome ceremony and meet HOG members at the reception.
TANDEM RIDING BAN Harley-Davidson and the United States Seek Repeal of Japan’s Tandem Riding Ban Harley-Davidson and the U.S. Government made a joint presentation to Japan’s Office of Trade and Investment Ombudsman (OTO) Market Access Council November 24, 1999 in Tokyo asking that Japan’s ban on motorcycle tandem riding on expressways be repealed. Expert witnesses argued that continuing the ban actually forced motorcyclists with passengers to use less safe routes of travel. According to a study conducted by Dynamic Research, Inc. (DRI), a safety research firm retained by Harley-Davidson, riding on motorways in Japan is 13 times safer than riding on ordinary roads and city streets, which have intersections, opposing traffic flows, poor visibility, and mixed vehicle usage. The study also showed that tandem riding actually increases a motorcycle’s stability at motorway speeds, and that motorcyclists who carry a passenger tend to drive more carefully than single riders.
FIRST BUELL BLAST OF THE LINE– The first Buell Blast motorcycle came off the line January 26, 2000 at Buell Motorcycle Co. in East Troy, WI. The first motorcycle went to Erik Buell, chairman and chief technical officer of Buell Motorcycle Co. The second Blast went to Jeff Bleustein, chairman and CEO, Harley-Davidson Motor Co. The third and fourth will be going to the Harley-Davidson Archives and the Trev Deeley museum in Canada. The fifth Blast motorcycle produced will be the first one sold.
MEMORIAL FUNDS ESTABLISHED FOR FALLEN DIRT TRACK RACERS– The motorcycle racing community lost two great people last season when Davey Camlin and Toby Jorgenson died as the result of injuries sustained in separate dirt track racing crashes. Contributions to the Davey Camlin Memorial Fund may be sent to Melissa Camlin at 1303 37th St., Rock Island, IL 61201. Cards and letters may be sent to the same address. Contributions to the Toby Jorgenson Memorial Fund may be sent in his name to the Mokelumne Federal Credit Union, P.O. Box 1717, Lodi, CA 95241. Cards and letters may be sent to the Jorgenson family at 5031 E. Palmer Ave., Stockton, CA 95125.
Nola Vander Meulen Once the object of affection of a Bikernet staffer was recently promoted to a manager position in H-D’s new Rental and Tours Department.
The staffer is still locked in the Pedro basement where he’s sentenced to serve his life tuning Cushmans and doing our laundry. We’ve promised the Factory that said individual will never embarrass Nola again.
SPORTSTER WINS CHAMPIONSHIP CUP SERIES– Dean Hagemann, amateur rider for Kegel Motorcycle Co. Race Team, won the Regional and National Championship titles while riding a Harley-Davidson Sportster motorcycle. This is the first time ever that a Harley-Davidson Sportster has won a Championship Cup Series in the Lightweight Sportsman and Lightweight Supersport Divisions in C.C.S history. The race took place at Blackhawk Farms Raceway in Rockton, IL on September 26th.
AROUND THE WORLD ON A SPORTSTER Andrzej Sochacki recently completed a round-the-world tour of 35 countries and four continents aboard a 1996 Harley-Davidson XL 883 Sportster. He took one year, three months and eight days to complete the journey, and put 56,000 km on the Sportster, which he named Adam. Sochacki, 52, claims to be the only world traveler to complete five around-the-world journeys aboard five different forms of transportation: automobile, airplane, sailboat, train and now, motorcycle.
ELECTRA GLIDE NEARS 400,000 MILES– Albert Vercruysse, 83, resident of Salem, Oregon, has recorded 396,000 miles on his 1988 Electra Glide-on the original Evolution engine. Albert attributes the accumulation of miles to coast-to-coast rides for MDA and to living in Salem, where the weather allows him to ride his bike on a daily basis. In order to keep his bike in top shape, Albert’s dealer performs all maintenance work on the motorcycle. Albert has been riding for about 22 years; his first riding experience occurred in 1977 at the age of 61. Since then he has owned four bikes, all Electra Glides (1980, 1982, 1984, and 1988).
USPS CONSIDERS A LINE OF STAMPS– The United States Postal Service Citizens’ Stamp Advisory Committee is considering the production and release of a series of Harley-Davidson motorcycle stamps in commemoration of Harley-Davidson’s 100th Anniversary in 2003. The committee is currently reviewing two separate Harley-Davidson stamp proposals and plans to make subject and design recommendations to the Postmaster General. If the series is approved, the Harley-Davidson stamps would be announced approximately six months prior to their official First Day of Issue release.
P.J. O’Rourke said– it was OK to go down for a reason but never for a cause. You have access to lots of folks. I would like to have you think about the shitbirds in China. They are getting our money and sending us crap, killing people whom they don’t like and giving us the finger as they read our nuke secrets. If every biker would just look for the little bitty label that says “Made in China” and put it down, it would make a difference. Hey, think about it. Wouldn’t you like to piss Clinton off and screw the Chinese? Almost forty years in some saddle and I can’t let it go. Sorry to hear about Rip. He was cool. Tim Gowder Oak Ridge, TN
POETRY CORNER–This is a small remnant of a massive poem about, well, you’ll get the drift…
ONE BY ONE THEY ARE BARTERED AWAY…. JOBS TO CHINA….TAIWAN….NORWAY; AMERICAN DREAMS ALONG WITH THEIR JOBS; SOLD TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER BY BEAUROCRATIC SLOBS….
CONGRESSMEN, PRESIDENTS, CEOS AND JUDGES…. BITTER & GREEDY AND ALL BEARING GRUDGES; HOPING TO FIND RICHES BEYOND EXPECTATION…. IN SELLING AMERICA….OUR ONCE GREAT PROUD NATION.
WHERE ARE THE GOOD GUYS….THE ONES IN WHITE HATS? WHERE ARE THE STATESMEN….PROUD AND EXACT? WHERE ARE THE COWBOYS THAT RODE THE GREAT PLAINS? WHERE ARE THE HEROES WHO NEVER COMPLAINED?
THE TALKING HEADS ON TV SETS…. HAVE BLINDED YOU AND I…. THE HOLLYWOOD GANG HAS PAINTED PICTURES TO BACK THEIR SINISTER LIES.
BUT, LET ME SAY THIS LOUD AND CLEAR FOR ALL THE WORLD TO HEAR…. WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH I GUARANTEE…. THEIR THUNDER YOU SHALL FEAR….
by George Fry
MORE ON RIP–Thanks for the word on Rip. I wish I could have had the privilege of meeting the man in person, but I will have his many stories from the road and many useful tips to remember him by. Thank you, Rip, and ride with the angels. You fought the good fight.
BAD NEWS CLIPS–In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with a shot from his .22-caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the hole, and hit his pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull.
In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house.
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, in September and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a quarter-stick of dynamite that blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but they apparently failed to notice that the window was closed.
TRAILBLAZERS BANQUET– Circle Saturday night, March 25th on your calendar for the finest 21st Century Banquet. Sure, the real new millennium doesn’t begin until next year, but what the hell. The location is the same as last year, the Sequoia Club in Buena Park. The dinner tab is $35 each, if pre-paid. If you’re caught at the door it’s 40 bucks. The hour of charm kicks off at 6:00 p.m. with dinner served at 7:00.
If you’re arriving to bench race and drool on the motorcycles on display, they’ll be arriving from 3:00 on. This year’s theme is honoring BSA, along with some of those who made the brand famous, from riders to dealers. In addition to honoring the lads from Birmingham Small Arms fame, we’ll also be inducting our Hall of Fame nominees.
Please join us in kicking off the 21st Century in true world class style at our forthcoming Banquet. For info you can call (714) 962-7028.
OUTLAWS’ M/C SITE– Check out the Outlaws Motorcycle Club site. It’s well done and bad ass. www.outlawsmc.com/.
THE ULTIMATE INSURANCE– From Maxim magazine comes the ultimate insurance story written by Richard Baimbridge. Insurance company Goodfellow, Rebecca, Ingrams, Pearson comes a $1 million dollar policy against insurance abduction. “According to company spokesman Simon burgess, the London firm has sold more than 42,000 policies worldwide for $100 each, with 90 percent of the business coming from the U.S. The company also offers a full line of coverage for mundane concerns, like being stricken with impotence on Valentine’s Day. Recently 600 prostitutes took out policies insuring them against employment-threatening backache. ‘”We insure against any eventuality-we never turn down a risk,”‘ says Burgess.
“A St. Lawrence Agency, located in Florida, will insure you for $10 million against UFO abduction for a single lifetime premium of only $19.95… In 1991 an abduction claim for an individual in upstate New York was approved. ‘”He met all the requirements for proof,”‘ says president Mike St. Lawrence, ‘”including a possible implanted alien tracking device.”‘ The lucky abductee now receives one dollar a year for the next 10 million years.”
LAST SATURDAY–I rolled north along the coast to visit a restoration expert, Fred Lange. He was once noted for his Indian restorations, but has since turned his attentions to Harleys in their teens. Now get this. There are companies in Europe and the U.S. making reproduction gas tanks, seats, fenders and front ends for these bikes. I was after a set of flat track tanks, a seat, a fender blank and perhaps a headlight for a oldy-looking Shovelhead I’m building with Rick Fairless at Dallas Easyriders. Pricey stuff, but available. After a tour of his facility we rode down the coast for dinner with the famous crotchety restoration expert, Mike Egan in Santa Paula. If you need anything for old Harleys and have the big candy to pay for it call Mike (805) 933-1557.
On Sunday the sensual goddess of metal mayhem with the human form lit up the shed. Yvonne Mecalis, an extraordinary artist, and her husband came to the shed hanging off a San Pedro cliff and we hung out until Agent Zebra made a menace of himself pulling burnouts in the back yard on the Street Stalker so we cuffed him and escorted his scrawny ass to the airport-send him back to Miami where he’s working on a chopper with Billy at Choppers Ink. Then the race is on to Sturgis. Hang on.
Ride forever, Bandit
