With Laughlin behind us, we’re back at the computers like mad men and women. With our new bookkeeper tied up and naked in the basement, I explained to her how lucky we are to be able to make a humble living doing what we love. She just squirmed and nodded. I took it that she was begging for more.
I recently babbled at an ABATE meeting in Southern California. Steve Bauman, a very dedicated member, and his president took me to dinner. This group, which is positioned all over the country, is working with our elected representatives to maintain our rights. They need your support. Even if you’re not a joiner, or a lifetime biker, join anyway. Send in your dues and support the hardworking groups that keep us on the road. You wouldn’t believe some of the laws headed our way. Read “Orwell” and you’ll understand.
A reader suggested that we kick off a memorial section for downed brothers, and since we always do what our readers want, it’s up and happening. I recently put in tributes to several friends who recently passed. I will never forget Travis Clemens, the son of Lee and Brenda from Departure Bike Works in Richmond; Roger Ramjet, the developer of several patented parts for Harleys, and Ed “Big Daddy” Roth.
We need to expand the Bikernet garage. We’re looking for two, 20-foot steel or aluminum containers to squash together. We’ll tear out the adjoining walls and form another garage so we can build two bikes or a bike and a desk in the existing stucco, termite-infested cube. Hell, we’re looking at a used milling machine, lathe and Tig welder to enhance production. They’re lined up, but we don’t have the space. Let us know if you have a connection.
We want to welcome Joker Machine into the fold of Bikernet sponsors. We have a cap of 20 sponsors because we promised our readers we wouldn’t litter the site with advertising. One of our goals was to bring the reader the best in the field and not every company with an ad budget. We think we’ve put together a program that works for everyone and keeps us in beans. Joker makes some of the finest billet accessories on the market. I used Joker Machine components on the Blue Flame and rode that puppy to Sturgis without one problem. Watch for articles on their components on the Buell project for Sturgis this year. They are one of the few companies making a handful of Buell accessories.
Another goal we gladly undertook was to assist the riders who have helped build Bikernet. In doing so, we built the starving writer, Agent Zebra, a bike last year. This year, we are building Dr. NuttBoy, our financial consultant, psychologist, artist and professor, a tight and light pro-street. After that, with the help of reader Richard Kransler, we will begin to put master artist Jon Towle back in the saddle of a Sportster. Hey, we’ve got to take care of our own, right?
We’re a small but happening crew that works tirelessly to build this site. There’s more, but you know I can’t get to the news without something about women, and our relationships with them. A couple I’ve known for years just broke up. I listened to my brother tell me his wife’s reasons for leaving, I thought about it for a while, then it came to me. Sure, we all have reasons for breaking up, but what happened to the marriage vows? Didn’t she make a promise to this man? Does this mean that she will never keep a promise to anyone?
I’m as guilty as sin when it comes to this, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep your promises–especially to the most important person in your life, your partner. Let’s get to the news:
NEGOTIABLE PART.COM–Ran into this crew at a recent swap meet. They helped me out with a handful of parts for NuttBoy’s project bike. They treated me right. They’d be worth checking out.
HOW TO RECOGNIZE COFFEEITIS–Major tell-tale signs:
You ski uphill.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You answer the door before people knock.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE– is brought to you by Aid to InjuredMotorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM),and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. ?For moreinformation, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE. Visit us on our Web site at “NCOM”
From TheGUNNY’S SACK:
NEW YORK: Those of us who have been around the block two or three timeswill remember the pop group The Village People. ?They did songs like ”YMCA”and ”MACHO MAN.” ?The biker of the group, Glen Hughes, has succumbed tolung cancer at the tender age of 50. ?They had a good show but faded by the’90s. The biker character was a pretty good imitation, although I kindadoubt what I think was his ”orientation” is real common among bikers, atleast the guys I know.
BERLIN: Now here’s a fine tradition from a town in Germany that Iwouldn’t mind seeing here in the US of A. Every year since 1988, bikers inNiederssachsen, Germany, have a parade to remember bikers killed on the roadduring the previous year.?This year, 10,000 bikers joined in. This storycame halfway around the globe to reach us — it’s from a copyrighted storyfrom China’s Xinhua news agency. ?These people even had a mourning service toremember those brothers and sisters.
NEW YORK: Harley-Davidson is getting an award for the marketing of itsproducts. The company has been elected to the prestigious Marketing Hall of Fame,sponsored by New York’s American Marketing Association. ?Hey, how many otherproducts have their names tattooed on people? ?Even products that have becomesynonymous with their brand — when’s the last time y’saw a guy with”Kleenex” or ”Xerox” tattooed on ’em? ?Man I could go on and on with thisone.
NEW YORK AGAIN: Even the Liner Queen Elizabeth II is getting on the “ILove Bikers” list. ?Now you can stow your scoot along with you. ?The QE-IIhas a garage to haul cars and motorcycles. ?Talk to the Cunard line for more. Bet it would be fun if I had the bucks to do it. ?I understand they have atwo-for-one deal right now. ?You have to call the cruise guys formore. ?I got this number for a Julie Davis: 305-463-3388.I guess Cunard owns the QE-II now. ?Not only can guests attend lecturesby ambassadors, authors, historians and oceanographers, but they also canplay with computers, play bridge, and take art and dance lessons. ?They’vegot sporting activities and drama classes. ?I can see it now–representatives of all the Confederations of Clubs in the USA taking thistrip in their standard black leather on this ship with some of the MONEYEDSET. ?WOW! ?WHAT A HOOT!
ALBANY, N.Y.: Here’s help for some downed bros from a different kind ofHOG. ?Fetal pig cells were injected into the spine of a 50-year-oldquadriplegic biker in an experimental procedure that hospital officials saywas the first of its kind. ?Should work. ?Bikers are one of a kind too. ?Inan Associated Press story, the biker was quoted as saying ”If it doesn’twork, it doesn’t work, but it’s something. ?I’m not getting any younger.” ?If it works, the cells will grow and create a new connection in thebiker’s spine. ?If electric impulses can again flow from his brain, theycould send signals to the muscles and maybe let him walk again. ?Maybe pigs are good for something besides ham and bacon. ?Let’shope it works, the good it can do is limitless.
ENGLAND: Another biker chased to death. ?We’ve seen it before, folks. ?This time, in England. ?At least in this case, the officer in the accident was suspended fromdriving duties during the investigation. ?I just hope investigations inEngland are more open minded than they are sometimes in the USA.Here’s how it went down: The death of a motorcyclist happened when he wasbeing followed by a patrol car. ?The biker, believed to be a man in his40s from Fareham, Hampshire, died after coming off his trail bike inSwivelton Lane, Fareham, as he was being followed by police after he failedto stop in nearby Portchester. ?The biker was dead at the scene. ?
????Deputy Chief Constable Ian Readhead said: ”We would like to expressour sincerest condolences to the family of the man who died.” ?I would thinkthat’s the very least they could do. ???? ?
????GUNNY AGAIN: I’ll report on the National Coalition of Motorcyclists(NCOM) Convention in next month’s issue. ?Remember our A.I.M. (Aid To InjuredMotorcyclists) attorneys are always as close as a telephone if, God forbid,you go down. ?They are here to help us and they ride, too. ?They know what’shappening on our roads. ?Nationally, call toll free, (800) ON-A-BIKE. In Oregon,call Sam Hochberg at (503) 224-1106 or (800) 347-1106. ?Avoid the wreck andride safe, OK?
Keep the round side on the bottom.Gunny, Oregon AIM Chief of Staff
BLONDE PUZZLE–One morning, a blonde called her boyfriend andsaid, “Please come over and help me.??I havethis awesome?jigsaw?puzzle, and I can’t figure out howto start it.”
Her boyfriend asked, “What is it a puzzleof?”
The blonde said, “From the picture on thebox, it’s a tiger.”
The blonde’s boyfriend figures that he’spretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets himin the door and shows him where she has the puzzle spreadall over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, thenhe studies the box. He then turns to her and?says, “First, nomatter?what I do, I’m not going to be able to show you howto assemble?these pieces to look like the picture of thattiger. Second, I’d advise you to relax, have a cup ofcoffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in thebox.”
–ScooterG
REDLINE SPECIAL OF THE MONTH–As for?this month’s?special, I have decided a sleeping bag ( Rick Thomas CICCOTTO WINS BUELL PRO THUNDER ROUND AT SEARS POINT– OVERCOMES BACK ROW START TO CLAIM VICTORY; LEADS CHAMPIONSHIP STANDINGS: In a pre-race interview, Mike Ciccotto told his competitors exactly what he planned to do in the Buell Pro Thunder final at Sears Point: pass every one of them and win the race. Some may not have believed he could win from his last row start, but Ciccotto knew he could, said he would, and did. “My Hal’s H-D Buell handled like it was on rails,” said Ciccotto from the top of the podium on Sunday. “I want to thank everyone at Buell and Hal’s Performance Advantage for their support.” Ciccotto won the faster of the two qualifying heat races to claim the provisional pole position, but was later moved to the back of the grid when his fuel didn’t pass a post- race tech inspection. That put Dave Estok, winner of the second qualifying heat race, and his Tilley’s H-D Buell on pole. Estok’s teammate, Tripp Nobles, soldiered through the same heat race with a battery problem, and like Ciccotto, would also be looking to make up for a poor starting position in the final. ?????? Estok experienced a similar battery problem on the warm-up lap for the final and left the starting line in last place. A crash involving three riders on the first lap brought out the red flag and sent the field back to the pits, which allowed the Tilley’s crew to fix Estok’s bike. On the restart, Estok took the immediate lead, but he knew Nobles and Ciccotto were coming. In fact, Nobles took the lead from Estok on the second lap, and Ciccotto had slashed his way through the field to fifth by the third lap. Nobles’ lead would be short lived as he missed a gear and over-revved the engine, ending his race on the fifth lap. Then Ciccotto charged into the lead on lap seven and never looked back. Ducati rider Tom Montano finished second, and Estok hung on to the final podium position. Following his second place finish at Daytona, the Sears Point win puts Ciccotto and his Hal’s Buell on top of the Buell Pro Thunder points standings. ? ????? “My hat’s off to Mike, I never thought he could come up and win from the back,” said Estok, who is tied for third in the Buell Pro Thunder points championship. ? ????? The Buell Pro Thunder series returns to action June 15-17 at New Hampshire International Speedway in Loudon. ?????? To learn more about Buell motorcycles, visit your local Buell dealer today and experience the pure streetfighter attitude, style and performance only found on board a Buell. Call (800) 490-9635 for the Buell dealer nearest you. Or pull into www.buell.com. BIKERNET BIKE SHOW WINNER–That’s me!Wow, two months in a row…last month for my 53 G Servicar, then this month for my 50 EL Panhead. Hell,I’m plumb out of old bikes to enter now. I just finished reading the copy of “ORWELL” that you sent me last month.Fantastic read. Good characters and a great story line. I’m looking forwardto reading another tale of daring-do by the 5-Ballmeister. Thanks forappreciating my work. It took a whole lot of scrounging and wrenching to makethat old pile of swap meet and scrap yard parts into what you see there. I’llhopefully be riding her from N.Y. to Sturgis this year. Not an easy task whenyou consider that she’s a foot clutching, tank shifting kick starter and thatI have a paralyzed left leg from a wreck a few years back. I guess thatproves that either I have a lot of balls or a serious deficiency of braincells. But riding is my life and if it’s easy, what’s the point? No guts, noglory. By the way, I’m going to be in Tahiti this July for Bastille Day on the 14th.I’ve arranged to get a tattoo done in the old tribal style, using bambooneedles and a mallet instead of the electric machine. Would you be interestedin the story and pictures for a Cantina feature? –Teddy Bear Absolutely, we would be interested in your tattoo saga. Bob Bitchin’, who is one of our clan, also has an ankle bracelet from Tahiti done with bamboo. Just remember, the rum is strong. JOKER MACHINE SPONSORS RON FRINGER–The excerpt below?is from http://www.bikernet.com/garage/jokermachine.asp, on Bikernet and it’s where I got the connection between Fringer and Joker. Ron had told me at the last race that he wasn’t actually the owner last year, just a pilot. “Three years ago, we got involved with racing,” said Diane, her eyes sparkling as she talks about the drags. “Geoff used to race dirt bikes, but then he started practicing on a Buell at the drags. That’s when we started to sponsor Ron Fringer, who raced top fuel. Joker Machine is also the HDRA pro-stock series sponsors, with Geoff racing in the H-D modified class. We’d like to see more prize money for these guys, but we find the drags to be an outstanding outlet for marketing our products. The enthusiasts are very dedicated.” Watch for more on Joker’s accessories, Buell products and racing in the very near future. KIDS BOOKS THAT DIDN’T MAKE IT– 1) You’re Different — and That’s Bad SAMSON’S NEW CHALLENGER PIPE–Here it is, performance fans, the Samson patented Challenger muffler. We will have a complete report on all aspects of this historic invention in the next week. The new baffle system actually pulled the exhaust from the pipe to assist performance. QUEEN MARY CALENDAR BIKE SHOW HITS SPEEDVISION– I just wanted to let you know that the month of May is LA CalendarMotorcycle Show month on TV’s Speedvision channel. There will be 10 broadcasts of American Thunder’s full, 30-minute program coverage of the1999 and 2000 Calendar Motorcycle Shows -just in time to get enthusiaststotally pumped for our newly expanded two-day 2001 Hot Bike Magazine Presents the White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Bike Show sponsored byPerformance Machine, The Recycler and Budweiser. It will be held July 21-22 at the Queen MaryEvent Park in Long Beach. NEXT WEEKThe 2000 Hot Bike Magazine Presents the White Bothers LA Calendar Motorcycle ShowAmerican Thunder: May 15, 7:30 p.m. Eastern; 4:30 p.m. Pacific; 11:30 p.m. Eastern May 16, 8 a.m. and 5:30 p.m.May 19, 9 a.m. For additional information on the upcoming 2001 show in July,visit the Bike Show page on our Web site athttp://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm
Redline Compact Camping & Travel Gear
P.O. Box 1113
Lakeville, Minn. 55044
2) The Boy Who Died From Eating all His Vegetables
3) Robert: Dad’s New Wife
4) Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5) The Kids’ Guide to Hitchhiking
6) Kathy was so Bad That her Mom Stopped Loving Her
7) Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
8) All Cats go to Hell
9) The Little Sissy That Snitched
10) Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet can be Friends
11) That’s it, I’m Putting You up for Adoption
12) 101 Things You can do at the Bottom of the Pool
13) The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
14) Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
15) Strangers Have the Best Candy
16) Whining, Kicking and Crying to get Your Way
18) Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
TWO NEW GAS TANKS FROM CYRIL HUZE– in 3- and 5- inch stretch.All equipped with pop up gas caps.
1- Hot Chop: a chopper gas tank, 26 or 28 inches long. See it at: 2- High Octane: a Cruiser gas tank, 26 or 28 inches long. See it at:? Cyril Huze Custom REVISED MIRANDA RIGHTS–You are under arrest and…. 1. No, I don’t care who you are. Thank you, have a nice day. Your Arresting Officer __________(fill in) HEY NOW!–Check out the first-ever Blue Cafe Blues Festival info. Blue Cafe Blues FestivalThe Fabulous Thunderbirdsheadline!The Green on the Hill27th and Walnut, Signal Hill, Calif.Gates open at 11 a.m.Music starts at noon PEOPLE– are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it’s saferto harass rich women than motorcycle groups. ZEN AND THE ART–20 years ago I took a vacation to Negril, Jamaica. A local took my ladyfriend and me up to his place in the hills above Negril. The house was one room with a porch and completely handmade. He was 18 years old. From his porch you could look over the hills and fields. The house was 15-by-20 feet. He told me it could never be taken away from him because he had it paid off. His words: “A man must always have a place of his own, no matter how humble or proud.” Wise words from such a young man. Nice article on the Laughlin Buell ride, I enjoyed reading it. Man, it was a long winter. As you may remember, I had family troubles to straighten out. Took over cutody of my two children and was court ordered to stay in Wisconsin. That resulted in my terminating my 20-year employment with my Louisiana oilfield employer. Of course, Wisconsin had its worse winter in recent history, so I was a displaced, unemployed, frozen Mr. Mom. With the encouragement of friends and family, I hired the proverbial lawyer and fought back. As a result, I was rehired with my previous employer in an engineering position at its New Orlean’s facility. The children were allowed to move with me and we pulled into town dragging a 5-by-8 trailer. I bought a house the following day and we were at work and school the following week. I am not a religious man but I do believe I had help from the Man upstairs. It was a test of faith and a wake up call to what kind of future I want for myself and my family. Every night is BIKE NIGHT around here. There is a large motorcycle community and it is very pro-active.As for riding, I have dusted off the M2 and put it back on the road. Glad to hear it is a two-up machine as I have a lady coming to town this evening and she is ready to ride! You may note the Buell custom seat on my bike. Purchased it from Dallas Buell/H-D. It is extremely comfortable. If you are riding to Sturgis, do your butt a favor and install one. Ditto on the sport rack. Come visit some time. New Orleans has a mighty fair selection of beautiful women. This is a photo of my Buell. It is a great two-up ride, as I found out this weekend. My friend and I rode to the Jazz Fest and the French Quarter and all points in between. She also found it extremely comfortable. I was surprised at the handling and pep it had with the two of us on it. You should see if the factory will lend you the Buell custom seat. Will get the kids together in front of the Maison de Alexander for a photo shoot. –Agent M-2, Anson On to Page 2
Motorcycles and Accessories
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2. No, I don’t care who you know.
3. Yes… you DO pay my salary.
4. Yes… you CAN have my job.
5. No, I don’t have anything better to do.
6. Yes, I DO arrest real criminals sometimes.
7. No, I am not picking on you because you are________ (fill in).
8. No, I can’t give you a break.
9. No, I don’t know your friend, Officer __________(fill in).
10. Yes, you will be allowed to make a phone call.
11. Yes, I’m sure you will never do it again.
12. No, we can’t talk about it.
13. Yes, it DOES make me happy.
14. Yes, you WILL see me in court. 
