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AN UPSCALE BROTHER– enters his favorite ritzy restaurant….. While sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby….all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of merlot to be sent over to her– knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.
The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the wine and decides to send a note over to the man.
The note read: “For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants.”
The man, after reading this note, sends one of his own back to her and it read:
“Just so you know- I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850iL and a Mercedes 560SEL in my garage; plus I have over $20 million in the bank. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut 3 inches off my dick! Just send the bottle back.”
–Terry
BIG DOG OPEN HOUSE TOMORROW–Don’t miss the chance to view their new headquarters, see the bikini contest, look over the new models, see the bikini contest, enter your bike in their bikes show, or catch the bikini contest.
Big Dog recently completed a new 100,000 square foot facility, and they plan to add more warehousing in the near future. Mr. Knife, the President said recently, “We developed this new facility so that we could continue the growth we’ve experienced in the last several years. The new facility will allow Big Dog Motorcycles to meet the greater…” We cut him off there and bought him a beer. Just more company hype. Most guys know that Big Dogs are the Big Dog of the industry, and this weekend in Wichita, Kansas at 1520 E. Douglas is the place to be or call (316) 267-9121 for the real scoop, incase they didn’t change the address on their stationary. Be there, Be there, don’t miss the bikini contest, and tell ’em you saw it on Bikernet.
SENOR CINCO PELOTAS–Senor Cinco Pelotas, Where the hell were ya? I expected a full-blown booth with Bikernet goods, nekedwimmins and a line of eager buyers for yourautographed books. I don’t think you even goto all these rallies you talk about. Lets see…have we ever seen a picture of you at a rally withsomething besides the generic bar scene in thebackground? I don’t think so. Never a famousrally landmark to be seen! You just sit at homein a closet hammering away on the keyboard andcounting your millions, don?t ya? Haaaaaaaaaa!
Where was this new place where the River Runwas held and what did they do with Laughlin? Where were the storm troopers on the bridgehanding out helmet tickets? Where was theGestapo check point from hell on Route 66 toOatman? Who moved out all the residents andemployees and replaced them with people thathave a sense of humor? All of the things Ienjoyed the last time I was there and decided notto go back again. I had some friends going tothe rally this year for the first time and the onlyreason I went was to see them. What a shock tosee. The River Run is worth going to again! DickDale and the beast kicked some serious ass!Maybe I’ll catch you at Sturgis! Ya right!
FTW,Stroker
You’re right, I’ll be in the Bahamas catchin’ some rays. –Bandit
BUELL REPORT–Are you pulling the swingarm or is a qualified Buell?wrench doing it? If you are?gonna do it I can send/fax you some info with destructions. You would need a cherry picker or something to hold up the frame. A shipping strap around?a low ceiling joist will work also. A frabricated “A” frame bolted to your lift is another good option.
I’m sure you can do it no problem, you just need certain tools and stuff. Also, polishing the Buell cast wheels really looks good. Makes a big improvement.
I want?to build a Shovester. My plan was to use?two front Shovel heads and run a carb for each head. Like?S&S did on their Bonneville bike. Trock had a complete Shovester with his cylinders and paper for $1,500 a few years ago. Another cool project I passed up.
–Charlotte H-D
BUELL REPORT PART II–You might be able to do the Shovester Buell.
?I have found that there is always one part of a project that is the key to the whole damn thing. In this case, it is the front cyl. head. You could weld up the front motor mount bosses needed to hang the motor in the frame. It would be better to have?a head cast or machined with the bosses already there for strength, though.
The RR1000 Buell used a XR1000 motor. It had the dual carbs, one for each cyl.?The frame was mounted to the rocker boxes. They were the XR750 type rocker box with the eccentric adjustable rocker shafts.
Awhile back, I contacted Rogue. He was selling?4-valve heads and parts for them. I have wanted to put these?on my S2 Buell since I bought it in ’94. By the way, it’s $200 off the line. There are some out there for Sportsters. Mel from Rivera had a Sportster with Mr. Feuling’s heads awhile back.
My thinking was that a big bore short stroke Sportster motor would really like these heads. What stopped me from continuing on this was the strain on the valve train. What would happen to the rocker arms at 7,500 to 8,500 and more rpm’s? Unfortunately, and maybe it’s for the best, I?don’t have the cash to experiment with a project like this.
I think that a 103 Stroker Twin Cam rigid would be cool. Maybe with a Buell front end and fender. I’ve seen one guy use a Buell style fuel tank like yours on a rigid chopper. I think he was from Sweden. Saw him?at Cinc’y.
Anyway I’ll fax you the Buell swingarm recall bulletin next week. This shows?you how to replace one with all the destructions.
BUELL REPORT PART III–
If you are interested in a definite improvement in your 2000 M2 shifting and brake linkage, I recommend the installation of the bronze bushings available from American Sport Bike in Apple Valley, Calif. Web address: “www.americansportbike.com”.The bushings replace the stock plastic and get rid of the stock rattle and the excess play. The set installs in a few minutes and costs $30. While the 2001 gear shift may be prettier, the M-2 2001 shifter has a shorter throw, making it harder to shift. With the bronze bushing kit installed, the longer, pre-2001 shifter results in positive shifting with minimal foot effort. Finding neutral is also a snap as a result.
–Anson
BUELL REPORT PART IV–
If you have the newer style swingarm, it’s hollow, don’t drill it. About the best thing you can do, I think, is polish it.?Polishing seems to be what the?”Jap” bike guys do. I don’t like to chrome aluminum. It’s done all the time, but it’s just a personal thing I guess.
I didn’t follow you on the “Levers” and whatever to remove. Removing the passenger footpeg mounts from the frame is pretty common. One can go on and on I guess. It just depends on the look you’re going for. I gotta see this “Chopper” Buell from Bandit. This just might start a new trend. Would this Buell then qualify to be in the Horse magazine?
This coming weekend, we are having a open house. They are also doing some Buell stuff. We have a Hooters next door and they usually bring the sweeties over to help out some.?That customer of ours that had the Silver “Millennium” Buell that I sent?you in February just got one of the older Buells. It’s an RR1200. Not many of these?were made in 1988, about 60 or 65. This is a pretty cool bike and in reasonable shape. Should have some good pictures of all this for you.
BUELL REPORT PART V–
From the picture you posted showing the muffler, the recall is NOT done.
?The recall?consists of a big strap around the muffler. Its location will be?just behind the first riveted band on the muffler?on the inlet end of the muffler. The big strap goes around the muffler itself. It’s the same type of strap used to clamp the muffler to the header pipe.
The strap is then?anchored to the primary by a short cable with an eyelet that goes from the strap to the 5/16 socket head cap screw (front one); there are two. These are located?on the bottom of the primary cover?by the primary chain adjuster nut. I think, like me, you won’t like this. A Buell chin fairing from the X-1 hides it pretty good, by the way.
Buell did this because the weld where the inlet pipe attaches to the muffler was failing. This could cause the muffler to drop down and hit the street while riding–a big “Oh shit” here.
As I was looking at the picture of the cam cover, I noticed some things. Now that the oil pump and lines are out in the open, this is an area that could be dressed up some to stay with the bike theme you are going with. Braided oil lines, etc. Maybe a polished oil pump. What do you think? The chrome rocker boxes look pretty good also.
BUELL REPORT PART VI–
Checking the oil is a simple thing on?Harleys most of time. It is on the Buell once you get it the hang of it.
Always try to check it?with the bike warmed up and standing upright. Push the rubber plug all the way in. I keep the oil in the middle between the?add and full mark on the dip stick.
It is easy to overfill this oil tank if you don’t check it like I said. Then you get oil coming out the?air cleaner?all over your right leg. See, the oil drains back from the tank when the bike sits for a time. So?when you check it cold, it looks low in the tank and on the dip stick.?After you start the bike, the oil level comes up and when it’s at operating temp, that’s when you really should check it.
Also, it’s a good idea to use the longer Dyna-style oil filter. It has more capacity than the short stock oil filter. This adds some to the 2 1/2 in the oil tank. I use a black one, not chrome, better for cooling.
One other thing is to make sure your primary oil is not over filled. They changed the location of the breather hose for the tranny. I keep it on the newer models just?below the clutch basket, just a bit.?If the level is?above then it seems to want to blow out the tranny breather hose.
Don’t know how hot it will be out there. In Phoenix I used a oil cooler. If you have low miles try to stay out of the street traffic. You don’t want to stick a piston out there.
That recall for the muffler only takes maybe a half hour, if they have it in stock.
–Charlotte H-D
BUELL REPORT PART VII–
Just looked at the “Badlands” Buell. The pictures really looked good!! That along with the “Ink” made it killer. It left me a Buell rider wanting to see more of the bike.
The cam cover came out good and leaving the rear dowel pin?boss was a wise?move. Also the air cleaner cover looks good. How do you like the Buell pipe???? It works really good huh? I like a SuperTrapp muffler myself. More tuning options for me.
For Sturgis you might want to try a 55 tooth rear pulley. It’s a Buell International P/N. You probably have the motor now for it. It drops the RPM’s about 500 or so. Good for mileage and “High Speed Gear Jammin” down the road. You leave those Big Inch. Big Twin slugs in the dust!!!!
Also the Baker Buell Six Speed?install would be a great addtion to the bike and your articles. Just did a six speed tranny for a Nascar guy.
–Charlotte H-D
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– I have not been able to report shit in the past few weeks, sorry. Withthe shop, getting all the bikes together and another bombing of the islandof Vieques it has been a pretty busy month. But on the bright side, we’vegot a bunch of news this time ! We also got the news that Titan wentchapter 7, and quickly called our local dealer to offer him some Bourget’s.
So it goes like this, we have a ’95 Softail custom who is getting a facelift, or ass tuck, 180 rear tire with Heartland struts, seat and fender,new paint job and new wire wheels, I’ll make sure to send some photos of thebuild.
The CFL Dragon frame from Jesse James it’s almost done, mock up isfinished and it’s on the process of dissasembly to paint. As soon as it’sdone it will rest in our showroom to wait for a victim..ahem, client.Now we got 3 Sporty chopper projects on the way, funny that they are ’71,’72and ’73. All Old School chops, somewhat rusty but in good condition. Oh well,found a bit of time to tell the news, so here we go.
Finally San Juan has their own Biker bar, our friends just opened BlueJeans, in Ponce de Leon #303, They feature bar food, cold drinks, pooltables and dart boards, plus live bands, Wed is the official day, but it’sopen every day, ask for Don or Ana if you happen to visit.
April Fools day was the day for the Desertores (deserters) a group thatlost on the past HOG election and decided to ride by themselves, 178motorcycles showed up for their first official ride thru the mountains onthe south side, ending with lunch and drinks on our local Heineken andCorona distributors.
LAMA (latin american motorcycle association) Had their annual ride inPuerto Rico this past 10 days, they rode around the island and even took aferry to Dominican Republic for a two day putt. Over one hundred LAMAshowed up for this yearly ride, making sure to visit all cardinal points,and some pretty cool parties in the mountains and in San Juan, next yearsevent will take place in Mexico.
HOG San Juan had their Annual Mothers Day ride April 21-22, it was anovernight ride into the fishing town of Boqueron in the West Coast, theyintended to ride all the way up to the highest peak in PR, but a rainy weekend damped the ride. Even though, around 198 riders showed up.
Harley Davidson San Juan had their annual motorcycle introduction and show,for a week they placed new TC 88’s next to some old restored Pans, Shovelsand even servicars, the show ended Sunday with an open BBQ by Longhorn.Over 200 bikes showed up (including our chopper crew) for an afternoon ofribs, baked potatoes and bike oggling. Even some TV stations were therefilming the zoo.
Plans are already developing for a H-D of San Juan and Caribbean CustomCycles bike show, we are trying to gather the best bikes on the island atthe same place, same time, and of course we intend to invite US magazinesto cover the event. What is pretty amazing is that a franchised dealer canget together with an independent custom shop and do something for thebikers in general.
Well thats sort of it for now , with the Miss Universe pageant, the Navybombing the shit out of Vieques, on and off May rains and Mr. Bush’s let’s-all-get-poor agenda things are pretty weird on the island right now, butSturgis is down the road. Just a couple months away, no helmets in theBlack Hills. Shit, can’t wait till August……….
— Jose…….Caribbean Bikernet Report
REBUILDING EFFORT CONTINUES ON VR 1000 FOLLOWING SEARS POINT–Progress Made, but Work Remains; Smith 8th in Overall Points Heading to Road Atlanta.The 2001 rebuilding effort for the Harley-Davidson VR 1000 Superbike race team continued at Sears Point Raceway over the weekend, with Pascal Picotte and Mike Smith finishing 11th and 15th respectively. After testing new parts, Harley-Davidson’s Director of Racing John Baker said gains were made with the VR 1000, but that greater improvement must happen before the team reaches its competitive goals.
“We tried some new things this weekend and we’ll have more to test in the future, a pay off of our new development program and the continued hard work of our race team,” said Director of Racing John Baker.
Picotte continued to recover from injuries sustained in a snowmobile accident in April. On Sunday, Picotte finished 11th, unable to sustain the speed he had shown in practice and qualifying.
“I wasn’t able to train much the past few weeks and I started cramping right away during the race and lost focus. So, I slowed the pace and tried to defend my position,” Picotte said.
Smith struggled to find a good suspension set up all weekend. “It was a long race. We kept missing on our set up all weekend,” said Smith, who finished 15th. “Basically it ended up like a test session to try some things and learn a bit more about the bike.”
Despite his set up problems, Smith’s hard work at Sears Point paid off as he is ranked 8th overall in the AMA Superbike points standings.
“We were proud of the efforts of our racers and team, and also proud of our privateer team, Austin-Bleu Bayou H-D, and their rider Jordan Szoke, who ran well all weekend and finished 13th,” added Baker.
Yamaha’s Anthony Gobert won the Superbike final over the weekend, with Honda’s Nicky Hayden finishing second and Suzuki’s Aaron Yates third.
The Harley-Davidson VR 1000 team will compete again May 18-20, when the AMA Superbike tour heads to Road Atlanta in Braselton, GA for a double-header weekend.
THE THREE SAMURAI– Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised fora new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: Bandit, Bad Brad and Dick Bondano. “Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor. Bandit stepped forward, opened a tiny box andreleased a fly. He drew his Samurai sword and “swish!” the fly fell to the floor,neatly divided in two!
“What a feat!” said the Emperor. Bad Brad, show me what you can do.”
Bad Brad smiled confidently, stepped forward and openeda tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his Samurai sword and “swish!” “swish!” The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered!
“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor. “How are you going to top that, Number Three Samurai?”
Dick Bondano stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing onefly, drew his Samurai sword and “swoooooosh!” flourished his sword somightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was stillbuzzing around!
In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”
“Dead, shit,” replied Dick Bondano. “Dead is easy. Circumcision… now THAT takes skill.”
–Sifu
MRF ATTENDS INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE–The Motorcycle Riders Foundation was well represented at the ThirdInternational Rider?s Public Policy Conference April 27-29 in PickeringtonOhio with eight members of the Board of Directors attending. They werejoined by motorcyclists from 21 states and seventeen other nations. Theconference was sponsored by the Federation Internationale de Motocyclisme(FIM) and was hosted in the United States this year by the AmericanMotorcyclist Association. The AMA is the United States affiliateorganization of the FIM.
This conference is designed to bring riders from around the world togetherto share ideas, build coalitions, and prepare them to have an influence onthe myriad of regulations and legislation being developed to implementglobalization of the motorcycle industry.
Robert Tomlins, Acting Secretary General of the Federation of EuropeanMotorcyclists Associations (FEMA) reported on the globalization of vehiclestandards from the rider’s perspective. Tomlins stated that, “We mustwatch out for our interests if we want the resulting motorcycles to besomething we will buy and ride.”
Tim Hoelter, vice president of government affairsfor the Harley Davidson Motor Company, stressed the need for Americanriders to be involved in the process, since it is a much more open systemthan the European procedure.
MRF: My Ride is Freedom.For further information contact Tom Wyld at202-546-0983 or by e-mail at wyld@mrf.org
CHINA BLAMES U.S. FOR YET ANOTHER MID-AIR COLLISION–China Blames U. S. for Yet Another Mid-Air Collision
BEIJING (Reuters) – Chinese officials have stated that they are holding the United States, “fully responsible” for today’s mid-air collision, involving several Chinese aircraft and one American craft. This comes just weeks after a similar incident involving a U. S. spy plane.
Officials have stated that at approximately 8:25 a. m., GMT, a squadron of Chinese F-8 fighters collided with an American Goodyear Blimp. The crash left over a dozen Chinese planes downed and the blimp’s electronic billboard damaged. Sources say the billboard’s scrolling marquee had been advertising the soft drink 7-UP, but after the collision, only the words “Up yours” could be seen.
A Chinese pilot who witnessed the collision between his squadron, nicknamed, “Panda Rash” told China’s Xinhua news agency that he saw the American blimp dive out of the clouds and crash into wingman Sum Yung Gui’s F-8 jet.
“I told Yung Gui his tail was all broken. ‘Keep it straight. Keep it straight'”, said the pilot. “He just couldn’t shake the American foreign-devil!” The blimp then reportedly veered hard left and then right, taking out the rest of the squadron.
China blames this new accident on the Goodyear blimp, saying it rammed the supersonic fighters, and has demanded an apology.
Officials from the Goodyear Company have said it is unlikely that the slow propeller-driven blimp could turn inside and ram a dozen nimble fighters, unless the Chinese were testing chimp pilots.
LET’S HIT THE ROAD–Time is of the essence. The Beach Ride meeting is coming up next week and I’m having a meeting with the famous photog and promoter of the White Brothers Calendar show this morning. We’ll see what Jim has to say. Bikernet will be sponsoring the Saturday night party on the Queen Mary in the Observation Lounge.
Take a look at the first Buell tech. We should have another one next week, with Joker Machine accessories. There are two new 1928 Shovelhead articles up about a woman who is looking to lure me to Texas. Damn.
I still haven’t filled you in on the emotional blow-up here at the headquarters. I thought Layla was history when she stumbled onto Sin Wu in a compromising position with Coral and me. It’s too strange to explain, but she’s back and as passionate as ever. I was barely able to crawl to my desk this morning to pump (wrong word) out the news. By lunch I’ll have the strength to ride.
–Bandit.
P.S. Just don’t get married guys. I don’t think bikers are meant to be tied down.
