Just after 4 a.m., 30 guys broke into the headquarters wielding batons, shackles and chains. We put up a helluva fight, but they drug us out of bed, shackled us together and threw us in the back of a stake-bed truck, then tossed a moldy sea-smelling canvas over us. We woke up in the engine room of Carnival Cruise’s new luxury ship, Spirit. It seems they were low on help and the San Pedro police wanted to rid the community of three bikers. The fuckin’ ship has 10 stories of lavish banquet rooms, bars, nightclubs, casinos and staterooms. The mere sight of all the gold, bronze and chrome plate over withering snakes carpeting was enough to make us sea sick as we were whipped and tied to railings to polish the brass.
It was a night from seedy Las Vegas casino hell. We better get to the news.
CHECK JIMS’ CONTESTS Check the new products from JIMS and while you’re at it, they’re giving shit away. Not just T-shirts, but complete twin cam stroker kits.
JIMS makes some of the finest performance components in the industry. Hell, they’re making the Screamin’ Eagle performance kits for Twin Cams for Harley-Davidson. Check it out.
REPORT FROM CRUISING RIDER READER– I hope this reaches the editor at Cruising Rider: I just received the new copy of Cruising Rider and what did I find? An article by K. Randall Ball.
As a long time biker and reader of Easyriders, I can tell you that since Bandit left, in my opinion, things have gone down hill. Anyone who is familiar with Bandit knows that he represents the true biker lifestyle. Sure, that lifestyle may not exist for most of us or may not even exit at all.
Brotherhood, bikers watching out for each other, being in the wind and riding, not because of what someone else thinks, but because that is where you belong.
If you are not familiar with K. Randall Ball, listen to the man. Then you too will know what being a biker is all about.
–Charles
If you listen to me, you’ll be divorced, out of a job and on the run. Maybe that’s not all bad–Bandit
DEAR ABBY– My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issues.
He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every time he gets caught, he denies it all, then he admits that he was wrong and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat. I don’t know what to do.
Signed: ????Frustrated
Dear Frustrated: Why don’t you move to New York and run for the Senate?
Sexual questions, problems with the Ol’ lady or man? We have our own Abby, ‘cept she goes by the name Lawless and she’s featured in the Cantina–Check her out.
BIKERNET ONLINE BIKE SHOPS– We have two on-line bike shops on Bikernet. One is in the garage and this one is the new kid on the block with the entire Custom Chrome and Chrome Specialties Catalogs on line.
Both shops allow you to order the parts you need without taking time off work, waiting for the weekend, or driving across town. Both shops are reputable, but we want you to report in when you start to order on line.
BUSINESS CARDS?– ?That implies we are actually doing business. ?That puts usin league with Lee Ioccoca, etc. ?Well, I’ve been addressed in manyways…..Hey, Asshole (a not uncommon phrase tossed at me), His Holinesswould be apt but not generally believable, Beallzebub the Omnipotent has anice ring but I don’t have the uniform, as I said yesterday, my army(desperate fun, hedonistic diversions, mind-numbing drugs, soul-numbingalcohol, and the delightful digressions of Cholon’s [Saigon’s Chinesesection] seedier “Steam n’ Cream” parlors)experience and frequent referenceto Heller’s Catch 22…gives rise to the dichotomic title of Moral Officer(we should always celebrate the soul cleansing rites of immorality and’situational ethics’). ?Yup, I think I can live with that ?Dr. Ladd “NuttBoy”Terry, Moral Officer. ?Can they get all that on a card? ?????????????????
–Dr. Nuttboy
Get us off this ship, and you can be the President. Oops I gotta get back to the swabbin’ and shit.
FIRST-EVER SHRINERS HOSPITAL FOR CHILDREN MOTORCYCLE RUN–Los Angeles to Santa Barbara to Los Angeles,Sunday May 20th, 2001.Proceeds benefit the Shriners Hospital for Children–8:15 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. – Registration at Southern California Lodge No. 529,F.&A.M., 7726 Manchester Ave., Playa Del Rey, CA 90293 (near the corner ofSaran and Manchester)
9:00 a.m. Leave
12:00 p.m.: B.B.Q. lunch in Santa Barbara
12:30 p.m.: Blues entertainment
3:30 p.m.: Return to Los Angeles
Donation is $35.00 each, which includes lunch, commemorative T-shirt, adonation in the rider’s name to Shriners Hospital for Children. Passengersride for a $20.00 donation (includes lunch, entertainment and donation).Non-rider donations accepted.For more info contact: (310) 710-4767.
–Tim Conners
MOVING GIF–New technology is constantly coming to bikernet. Well here it is, my first moving gif. I could improve the exposure and the rotation by making adjustments prior to editing the scan, but I’m pretty happy with it considering I slapped it – together.
hmmm it’s Thursday already …Helen Wolfe
FIGHTING BACK–This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the “don’t buy gas on acertain day” campaign that was going around last April or May!The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew wewouldn’t continue to “hurt” ourselves by refusing to buy gas. Itwas more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem forthem. ??BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with aplan that can really work. ??Please read it and join with us!
By now you’re probably thinking gasoline priced at about $1.50is super cheap. Me too! ??It is currently $1.97 for regular unleadedin my town. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nationshave conditioned us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas isCHEAP at $1.50- $1.75, we need to take aggressive actionto teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace….not sellers.
Since we all rely on our cars, we can’t just stop buying gas. ??But weCAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force aprice war.
For the rest of this year, DON’T purchase ANY gasoline from the twobiggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. ??If theyare not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices.If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to followsuit.
But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon andMobil gas buyers. It’s really simple to do!! ?Now, don’t whimp outon me at this point…keep reading and I’ll explain how simple it isto reach millions of people!!
I am sending this note to about thirty people. ??If each of you send itto at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) … and those 300 send it to at leasttenmore (300 x 10 = 3,000) … and so on, by the time the message reachesthe sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLIONconsumers!
–“LandSpeed” Louise Ann Noeth
NEW BIKERNET STICKER–We’re always up to no good. Here’s Jon Towle’s latest bizarre notion of what Bikernet is all about. Actually, it’s not new. It was originally drawn for the book “Outlaw Justice,” but Jon is making modifications. Let us know what you think.
CANADIAN BIKER ON-LINE NEWSLETTER– Canadian Biker On-line NewsletterFrom the desktop of Len Creed
Well, it’s been a month since the last newsletter-that’s not because therehasn’t been any news, it’s just that I’ve been very busy lately with anumber of time-consuming special projects, including the organization of myCross-Canada Ride, our first-ever Friday The 13th Ride, and planning ourcorporate sponsorship of Canadian events such as Sportbike West, staged inKelowna at the end of August. There’s been a lot going on here at CanadianBiker, besides keeping our magazine a number one priority.Perhaps one of our most challenging and technically-complex projects hasbeen to successfully bring our internet site “in-house” by becoming our ownserver. It’s been a learning curve, but over the next month you’ll see justhow big we are getting into the wired world!For now, check our a few of the features below.
Winter Heat– Coleslaw wrestling, superbike racing, tattoos, custom bikes, new bikes,vintage bikes, and 600,000 wild guys and girls partying on Main Street.If it’s March we must be in Daytona. Canadian Biker contributor TomGrenon packed his cameras recently and traveled to Floridahttp://canadianbiker.com/features/places/winterheat171.html
Little Guy, with Big Shoulders– Story by John Campbell.Amid the rush to produce bikes with garbage can-size jugs, middleweightcruisers like Yamaha’s V-Star 650 are nearly in danger of beingforgotten. http://canadianbiker.com/features/reviews/shoulders171.html
New Features in the latest issue of Canadian Biker Magazine andCanada’s Largest Motorcycle Online Site http://www.canadianbiker.com
HEADACHE REMEDY–A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, “I have a headache.”
“Perfect” her husband said. “I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, it’s up to you.”
BIKERNET SPONSORS CALENDAR BIKE SHOW AT QUEEN MARY– Actually we’re hosting the Party Saturday Night on the Queen Mary in the Observation Lounge. Goddamnit it’s free to get in, be there.And don’t forget our expanded 2001 2-Day Hot Bike magazine presentsThe White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Showsponsored by Performance Machine, The Recycler and Budweiser is comingup in 2 months on Saturday July 21st & Sunday July 22nd. It’s thebiggest Custom and High Performance Streetbike Show in America! Forcomplete spectator information and Exhibitor Registration visit ourwebsite at http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm
–Jim Gianatsis
Gianatsis Design / FastDates.com
Phone 818.223.8550
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