May 23, 2002 Part 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–TERRORISTS, PROJECT BIKES AND SEX

Continued From Page 1

THE BIKERNET HOLLISTER RESEARCH CONTINUES– Now this is some of the highhanded shit the LAW pulls when they’re scared: officially prohibiting riders from sitting on their motorcycles if parked on San Benito Street. The council will consider the ordinances Monday.

If I can’t sit on my bike and watch the other bikes and traffic go by then something is really wrong with this picture! Talk about civil rights!!!

The following came in May 14:

Deadly biker shoot-out puts San Benito County officials on alert

By KATE WOODS
Pinnacle Staff Writer

A deadly biker shootout in Laughlin, Nev., has Sheriff Curtis Hill preparingfor the worst when the Hollister Independence Day Rally comes to town.”If anyone thinks that this can’t happen in Hollister — and I hope youquote me — they’d better get their heads out of the sand,” said Hill in hisstrongest language yet against outlaw bikers, fortified after fieldingnon-stop post-melee calls from law enforcement colleagues around the state.

The Hollister rally is the next major West Coast biker event, and Hill, whoconsiders motorcycle club intelligence a crucial part of his operation andhad two officers officially observing in Laughlin, already has made securityfor it a top priority.

“It’s open warfare,” said Hill. “In the realm of the outlaw biker world,that event in Laughlin was like a nuke going off.”

The violence prompted officials in Old Bridge, N.J., Tuesday to call forcancellation of their town’s rally in August.

They already were facing the prospect oftougher laws regulating Hollister Rally behavior.City Attorney Elaine Cass has prepared ordinances banning the exposure offemale breasts, barring “knives in plain view” and – and this will be astickler for crowds at an event with little seating outside of beer gardens- officially prohibiting riders from sitting on their motorcycles if parkedon San Benito Street. The council will consider the ordinances Monday.Hill stated forcefully and many times during an interview that he is seriousabout his concern – and desire to beef up security this year.

“I want to make sure that the community understands it’s not anoverreaction,” said Hill. “At 2 a.m. over 100 cops were actually working theevent at that time. With 45 minutes they had another 80 plus a SWAT team. Wecut back after the first year because nothing happened and everyonecomplained about what they had to pay for security. But things can happen ina flash.”

Hollister Chief of Police Bill Pierpoint is more optimistic that whathappened in Laughlin will not impact the Hollister event, and is more waryabout the rights of the majority being trampled by heavy handed tactics.”My feeling now is that it won’t affect our rally,” said Pierpoint. “If wereacted every time something happened someplace else, we would always beclosing down the entire town. We’d be taking everybody’s civil libertiesaway from them. People have the right to assemble.”

On Monday, however, Hill dispatched his sergeant assigned to motorcycle gangintelligence to begin fulltime work on a beefed up security plan for theHollister rally. Hill plans to meet with Pierpoint and City Manager GeorgeLewis this week. He acknowledged security would be costly, a fact aboutwhich, he said, outlaw bikers are well aware.

FIREFIGHTERS TO THE RESCUE–One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the localchemical plant and before you could snap your fingers it exploded intoflames and the alarm went out to the volunteer fire departments from milesaround.

When the volunteer firefighters appeared on the scene, the chemical companypresident rushed to the fire chief and said, “All of our secret formulas arein the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give$50,000 to the engine company that brings them out intact.”

The fire chief ordered his men to strengthen their attack on the blaze.After two hours of fighting the fire another fire department was called inand the president of the chemical company offered $100,000 to thefirefighters who could bring out the company’s secret files.

From the distance, a long siren was heard as another fire truck came intosight. It was the local volunteer fire company composed entirely of men overthe age of 65. To everyone’s amazement, t he little fire engine raced passedeveryone and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.

Outside the other firemen watched as the old timers jumped off their rig andbegan to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before.Within a short time, the old timers had extinguished the fire and saved thesecret formulas.

The grateful chemical company president joyfully announced that for such asuperhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over topersonally thank each of the brave, though elderly, fire fighters.

The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on filmasking. “What are you going to do with all that money?”

“Well,” said the 70-year-old fire chief, “the first thing we are going to dois fix the brakes on the truck.

BIKERNET RECALL ALERT– If you have a American Suspension inverted front end on your motorcyclethere has been a RECALL ON THE FENDER BRACKETS. This would include AmericanQuantum, Ultra, Titan and those who purchased just front ends from anothersource.

To find out more or make arrangements to get your recall contact LisaReddick at American Suspension. E-mail LDReddick@dny.gd-ots.com call (562) 904-7731 or write American Suspension – 9236 E.Hall Road -Downey – CA. – 90241-5308

A BIKERNET RELIGIOUS MOMENT– The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks anolder priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, “Cross your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand.” The new priest tries this. The old priestsuggests,

“Try saying things like, ‘I see,’ ‘yes,’ ‘go on,’ ‘I understand,’ and “how did you feel about that?'”

The new priest says those things, trying them out. The old priestsays,

“Now, don’t you think that’s a little better than slapping your knee and saying ‘No shit! What happened next?'”

–from Chris T.

Harley hearse

NEW H-D MODEL, THE HEARSE–Al Skinner of Wrightsville, Pa., test-drives his new Harley-Davidson “hearse for hire” on May 1. Skinner hopes his new business, Biker Burials, will attract “motorcycle enthusiasts or those in search of an extraordinary farewell.”

The 46-year-old biker mounted a custom sidecar and casket to his Sinister Blue Harley-Davidson Road King. He will carry a loved one to the cemetery for $300 plus another dollar for each mile traveled.

–from Rogue

Harley Davidson Banner

SCREAMIN’ EAGLE NHRA TEAM TO CONCENTRATE ON TESTING AND DEVELOPMENT– After an early season filled with expectations and discovery, the Screamin’ Eagle/Vance & Hines National Hot Rod Association (NHRA) Pro Stock Bike drag racing team is focused on applying the knowledge gained towards a future qualifying effort. With this goal in mind, the team has chosen to continue testing and will miss this weekend’s Matco Tools Super Nationals in Englishtown, NJ.

“We know where the team is at competitively and we know what it will take to reach our goal of qualifying,” said Mike Kennedy, director of marketing for Harley-Davidson Parts and Accessories. “We now want to take this time to implement the technical data and knowledge gained from early in the season in preparation for a qualifying effort. The team remains focused and confident of the program’s potential to become competitive in the NHRA Pro Stock Bike series.”Visit www.harley-davidson.com for more information.

RUN FOR BREATH UPDATE–Dear Mr. Bandit,This is the t-shirt logo for the 4th Annual Run For Breath in Charlotte. Mike said to tell you that he had to twist my arm to get me to send this. After that remark, he can kiss his Bikernet sweatshirt good bye!!!

Love you,
Meanest

run for breath

As usual I had to straighten them out and make sure they mentioned the name, date and location of the event on the other side of the t-shirt. They forgot all about it. It’s Sunday the 28th of July and it’s sponsored by Charlotte H-D where Mike Pullin works. He created the event in his son’s memory to raise funds for all kids with serious lung disease. I’ll be there to make sure Mike gets his ass up that morning for the ride.–Bandit

BIKERNET ADVICE FOR MEN–I watched an ant climb a blade of grass this morning. When he reachedthe top, his weight bent the blade down to the ground. Then, twistinghis thorax with insectile precision, he grabbed hold of the next blade.

In this manner, He traveled across the lawn, covering as much distancevertically as he did horizontally, which amused and delighted me.And then, all at once, I had what is sometimes called an “epiphany”, amoment of heightened awareness in which everything becomes clear.

Yes, hunched over that ant on my hands and knees, I suddenly knew whatIhad to do:

Quit drinking before noon.

–from Buckshot

A RIDER’S DILEMMA–I can’t decide what to do this weekend. Bald headed Patrick wants to go toGulfport, Miss, for the Blowout. Been there. It’s a good party, but $50 ahead plus $30 for a car or truck. The car fee don’t bother me ’cause I ain’tgonna have one, but $50 is too much.It’s on the beach though and the 350 miletrip is a nice ride.

Phillip wants to go to the Road Barron’s party in HotSprings. Same kinda fun but 300 miles closer. It’s only $20, but it ain’t atthe beach. No casinos either.

Wayne wants to go to Monroe, LA for a bigparty, but it’s out in the boonies, and you have to return to the real worldto eat. the cops are just laying for you when you leave.

Titty bar mike wantsto go to the lake and have a big boat deal. Everyone is gonna be at the lakeand you can’t find a square inch that isn’t covered.

I just want to ride. I’minclined to go to Gulfport because it’s the farthest away, it’s at the beach,and it’s the biggest event. Lots of naked girls. Cops are ok, if you ain’tacting stupid, and there are drag races. I’ll let you know.

–Ted-F.U.M/C

MORE RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING FROM BIKERNET–A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re cute!” The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now “cute.”

She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful?'”

The man replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”

upset wife

Continued On Page 3

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