It’s 2:45 a.m. and I’m just stumbling in the door. The week’s beenhectic, and every afternoon I’ve hit a dealership for parts. Agent Zebra’sbike is almost ready for wire and a test ride. While I order parts and waitfor shipments for my Daytec rigid, I’m all over the Zebra-stretched Paughcowith the new 88-inch RevTech motor and Baker 6-speed transmission, butevery stumbling, bumbling step of the way has been a learning experience.For instance: Don’t ever bolt the engine and tranny down until the innerprimary is aligned. Of course this is wise info, but I still can’t figureout how to get to the tranny nuts on the bottom to tighten them. Don’t setup your exhaust brackets without the mesh gaskets in place. They change theposition of the pipes by a 1/4-inch. Before you bolt in that brand-new,chromed oil bag flush it with something, and make sure it’s clean.
Zebra flew in from Miami today for another meeting with Miramax andKoppleson on the 1%er movie project. He’s working round the clock on the23rd revision. Standing hopelessly next to the bike, his eyes crossing andblinking as he nodded out against the lift, he was of little use. Wrenchworked around him feverishly, bleeding the rear brakes. Renegade cussed theAgent, slapped him, and gave him another beer, then while Zebra mumbled andstumbled away from the bike, Renegade attached the final oil lines. My dayshave been non-stop with writing assignments, working out, and trying toassist the brothers with the wrenching. I delivered the fenders and theBandit II tank to Phil Stadden, a Hamster custom painter, to have thebobbed fenders painted to match the tank.
Screw it, the Jack Daniel’s, the lights on the harbor, the glistenof chrome under smudged fingerprints, the tools scattered around thegarage, the lists of parts, the desire to go find her at this time of nightare reeling through my mind. We’ve all been there, can smell the firstblasts of exhaust as the new motor fires to life, the tingle in ourfingertips waiting for our first ride, the image as we stand back and takein the long lines of your bike complete for the first time, and the listsof things that still need to be done. It’s a rush, that first ride, asensation of wonder, achievement, glee, terror (that we forgot something),and the risk that we will, in short order, be on the freeway at 80 mph(remember the break-in period) splitting lanes on something we cobbledtogether in our garage.
I’m going to crash, get my ass up early, and get to the news:
RAFFLE SORTA CONTEST MAYBE–WHO KNOWS–BUT IF YOU ARE ONE OF THEFIRST SIX TO REGISTER ON THE SITE AND SEND ME YOUR ADDRESS TO bandit@bikernet.com YOU WILL RECEIVE THE LATEST ISSUE OF HORSE MAGAZINE,A COPY OF EASYRIDERS’ BEST BIKES, A CUSTOM CHROME FANNY PACK, A SERIES OFBANDIT BIKE POSTERS, OR A CUSTOM CHROME BRIEFCASE. EACH WEEK WE’LL BEGIVING SHIT AWAY FROM PARTS THAT DON’T FIT ON OUR STURGIS PROJECTS TOBIKERNET SHIT TO MY BOOKS. BE THERE, BE THERE, BE THERE!
EXCELSIOR-HENDERSON ANNOUNCES AGREEMENT REACHED WITH CREDITORS– The Bankruptcy Court had approved the disclosure statement to bedistributed to creditors in connection with its proposed plan ofreorganization. The plan of reorganization is the product of intensiveefforts by the Company to design a strategy that would enable the Companyto reorganize and obtain the required additional equity funding to preservethe future of the Company. As previously announced, the proposed plandescribes how the various secured and unsecured creditors will be paid, andalso describes that the Company’s current stockholders will neither retainnor obtain an equity interest in the Company going forward. The Company didnot receive a proposal from any buyer, which provided for continuedparticipation of the Company’s equity holders.
Under bankruptcy law, approval of the Company’s stockholders is notnecessary for confirmation of the reorganization plan. Accordingly, thedisclosure statement and plan will not be distributed to stockholders.Stockholders who wish to review the disclosure statement and plan mayaccess the documents on the U.S. Bankruptcy Court’s Web site at HYPERLINKhttp://www.mnb.uscourts.gov www.mnb.uscourts.gov. The disclosurestatement and related plan will be filed with the United States Securitiesand Exchange Commission on Form 8-K.
The approved disclosure statement also reflects the agreement reachedwith the State of Minnesota regarding a loan made by the MinnesotaAgricultural and Economic Development Authority. If the plan is confirmed,the Authority will receive full principal payments over a period not toexceed nine years. As previously announced, other secured creditors willreceive restructured notes. Unsecured creditors will receive, among otherthings, a pro rata distribution of cash and the right to receive an annuitystream of certain royalties based on the Company’s gross sales, subject toa maximum amount. These payments will only partially satisfy unsecuredclaims. Under the plan, E.H. Partners will contribute or cause to becontributed a substantial capital infusion in exchange for the issued andoutstanding equity of the Company upon the effective date.
The Company’s Co-Founders and Co-Chief Executive Officers, Dan and DaveHanlon said, “We believe the proposed plan of reorganization represents thebest available alternative for the Company and its creditors. It is also agood alternative for the surrounding community as we expect manufacturingoperations will resume in Belle Plaine. However, it is highly unfortunatethat all equity shareholders, common and preferred, including ourselves,lost our entire equity stake. There are a lot of shareholders andmotorcyclists who have believed in us and the Company, and it isunfortunate that we are all sacrificing. We regret that a plan could not bedeveloped by the Company and E.H. Partners, which provided for continuedparticipation by the Company’s equity holders. Regardless of theseshort-term setbacks, we remain steadfastly committed to the future ofExcelsior-Henderson, and we hope that others will also. “
FLASH–ONE MAGAZINE DOWN–Word is that Road & Track is to be no more.Seems too outrageous but our source is more credible than most. Anyoneheard anymore?I can’t believe it. We need confirmation.–Bandit
PAINTER NEEDED–Learned a lot from your “Custom Paint tech. Couldyou send me the addresses of more painters. I live in the Suffock,Virginia, area. There are no real custom painters in these parts. Remember,the party never ends.–EZ-J
THE GEORGE CARLIN THEORY– “The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch,you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating … you finish off as an orgasm.”
IDYLWILD NEWS–next trip to Idylwild go out the I-10….Turn offat “The Crossroads” bar (Yucaipa)..But instead of turning in, keep headingdown “Dunlap Blvd” (back towards L.A.) about 3/4 of a mile ..You will finda fairly new scoot shop (Sanity’s Edge)…It’s a nice place w/cool peopleand HOT scoots…Take a camera (please)..He could use some EXPOSURE and youare the bro who has the connections … If one isn’t really looking theymiss it from the freeway…I sure enjoy your site and stories…Keep up theGREAT work…SCOOTER
BIG DOG MOTORCYCLES UNLEASHES THE 2000 WOLF–Leading the pack once again in 2000, Big Dog Motorcycleshas electrified the industry with the addition of the Wolf, astandard-setting model that is sure to turn the heads of enthusiasts andcritics alike. New to the Big Dog pound, the Wolf arrives in style withclean, stretched lines and a radical air dam that takes aerodynamics to anew and exciting level. Slung low and ready to pounce, the Wolf’s stretchedchassis features a hidden shock, non-stop chrome and trick 18-inch billetwheels. This rocket is finished with Big Dog designed custom fendersfeaturing built-in, recessed tail light and tag. But don’t think the Wolfis all bark and no bite. No way. The Wolf won’t keep any rider hungry formore power with a bone-crunching, pavement-burning 107 cubic inch TotalPerformance Engineering Pro Series engine. This power plant delivers topperformance, no matter the driving situation.
“We believe the Total Performance engine has brought some strongtechnical advancement to our drivetrain,” said Nick “The Knife” Messer,president of Big Dog Motorcycles. Prepare yourself, the new standard forexotic customs is here and it’s called the Wolf.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT–Dreams:Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird thatcannot fly.–Langston Hughes
Self-imageWe either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong.The amount of work is the same.–Carlos Castaneda
LAUGHLIN UPDATE–Remember the desert heat of Laughlin, theglittering casinos, the wind across the highway as you leaned your bikeinto town? Neither do I, but it happened, believe me, and another event isin the planning stages.
Event dates for the 2001 Laughlin River Run will be announcedMonday, October 2nd. Discount room packages, event entry and concerttickets go on sale Wednesday, November 1st by calling Dal-Con Promotions at(714) 694-2800 or visit us online at Laughlinriverrun.com.
Hey, here’s some of the winners of the annual bike show next to theColorado River: This is wild, the winner of the Event drawing was a woman,Debbie Cacciacarne (wow, whatta name), of Rosemond, California, and thePoker Run top dog was also a woman, Jennifer Murray of Dana Point,California. The Best of Show award went to a restored 1947 Indian Chief,Richard Bunch of San Jose, California. The Best Radical Rubbermount wasJeff Wolf of Kolone, Canada. The Best Solid mount went to Hatt Hotch orFullerton, California. Best Radical Chopper went to a 1968 FL belonging toYasuyoshi Chikazawa of Huntington Beach, California. Best Mild Custom for a2000 custom to Justin Banks of Palm Springs, California. Best Street Customfor a 1996 Softail Custom by Gary Hopper, of Allen, Texas. Sportster awardwent to Verlie Sanchez, Gilbert, Arizona. Antique Best went to a goodfriend Don Whalen of Monrovia, California for his 1941 Indian Chief.Sidecar award went to William Coddington or Las Vegas and his 1946 EL, andfinally the Open Class award was handed to a 1966 BSA owned by Paul Ponkowof Henderson, Nevada.
WIRING HASSLES– Bandit, got the 1960 FL running. Something about a 40-year-old millcoming back to life that’s a great thing. Wiring was done like you sentme– works great. you are the MAN. Saw you in the Horse. Haven’t got achance to read it yet. Got miles to put on my motor but when it rains Iwill. Sorry to hear about RIP. Ride Free, Brother– Phil Hoffman
BIKERNET EAST MEETS REVTECH–Custom Chrome introduces world’s first rocket-powered Zebra. The powerplant of the Great Zebra Northern Steamer for Bikernet Chop-Off 2000. TheGreat Zebra Northern Steamer is to be a biker’s bike. No fantasylandHollywood bullshit in the way of $80,000 paint jobs or diamond encrustedspokes, no chop-shop hoopla, the Zebra Steamer is going to the root ofAmerican bike building, tight, right, fast and reliable. It’s being builtby the rider, with help from Bandit, Wrench, the Chinaman and the torquekings at Casa El Horsepower, in an anonymous San Pedro, California garage.The scoot is being designed to take a lead wrist and heavy beatings withoutsnapping, leaking, dying or crying.
Our bros at Custom Chrome, legendary for their fine products andexcellent customer service, answered our call for horsepower, durability,fit, form and function, by shipping to the Bikernet garage one 88-inchRevTech monster. The Zebra Steamer’s heart and soul arrived crated andmounted on a temporary engine stand, for simple storage prior toinstallation. And talk about ready to ride. When you get an engine fromCustom Chrome, you get an engine, one that’s ready to plug in, gas up andride, tuned and pruned. These suckers come complete with carb and ignitionsystem. It is literally bolt-in ready when it comes off the truck with anyOEM or custom frame which will hold an Evolution (see engine tech in theCustom Chrome department in the near future).
The entire system is designed on a CAD (computer assisted design)system, just like the ones used at the big automotive plants. This meansyou get the latest in engine technology available. Every component iscreated from new tooling techniques in a state-of-the-art ISO manufacturingplant. But high-tech engineering manufacturing equipment and techniquesaren’t any good without great concepts to use them on. Again, CustomChrome has put its money where its product is and created somerevolutionary new thinking in big-twins.
STURGIS 2000 CHOP-OFF EXPOSE–Hey Bandit, the site just keeps getting better. It was interesting to readthe softer side of Agent Zebra as he explained your Chop-Off dilemma. Iapplaud you for setting the story straight. So many shops forget about thecustomer. We need to support the shops that know who pays the bills.
By the way, I just got back from a fly and ride down to New Mexico. Imade a point of heading to Tombstone to check out Pat Kennedy’s shop. I’m afan of his front ends. I’d like to think a stretch front end with a 21 onmy Road King is the poor boy answer to your Cruising Chopper.–Jet CityLongrider
RADIOWOODSTOCK.COM AIRS MOTORCYCLE PROGRAM–We are a radio station on the Internet that plays 4 channels of the bestRock N Roll on the WWW.We will be airing “The Motorcycle Show” on Saturdays 8-9pm. It is hostedby English Don the Associate Editor of The Horse Magazine. He will beplaying his selections of cool, deep cut classic motor head rock & rollmusic as he talks shop.
Hoggers can get all the latest on the motorcycleworld, including current events, shows, conventions, news about races,swap meets and stories of interest. Don also goes on the road withRadioWoodstock.com and covers events like the Daytona Bike Week andWeb casts “live” from the event.If you have any questions, please call me at 212 580-0190 or e-mail meat scottm@radiowoodstock.com
DOWNED HAMSTER–I am sending a “group” update on Mike Robins’ condition. For all who don’tknow, Mike had triple bypass surgery on Wed. May the 10th. This was aresult of, and I quote, “all that good clean livin’.” I guess you know wherethat quote came from! Regardless, he came through the surgery with flyingcolors,and was released on Sunday. The surgeon was amazed, but, said he had nodamage to his heart, and should be good as new after his recovery. He isdoing excellent & would be doing a lot better if he had not gone to the shoponMonday!
After a few choice words, lots of persuasion, and a reprimand fromthe cardiologist, he decided to take a few days to rest, and heal. As youcansee, I am sending this e-mail from the shop, so….we are working a littletoday,but, under strict supervision by his private nurse! We missed Myrtle Beach,butplan on going to the R.O.T. rally in Austin, Tx. June 9th, 10th, and 11th.Thank you all for your concern, and inquiries, Sincerely, Nancy Robins
RESPONSE TO DR. DEWEY RETORT LAST WEEK–Hey Dr. Dufus, that was some response to our ownZebra. I must say, the typing y’all did was themost work you have done for the site in the lastsix months. I have some more work for you, see ifyou can even hold a firearm in your hand withoutpissin’ your pants and running home to mother.nighty-night, darling, love Jon-P.S. By the way, when Zebra reads your humor, prayto your god (you) that zebra has any humor in hisbones!
AGENT ZEBRA’S RESPONSE–Dear Dr. Dewey, do you shave yourpussy?”–Zebra
NEW CONTRIBUTOR–Hey Bandit! Sorry to hear about the cluster fuck involving WEST COAST.Guess it ain’t like the old days when a man’s word was THE word … no needfor lawyers/contracts/courts. A handshake was the final determination.
Anyway…been riding since around 1969..started reading ER when I wasstationed in the ‘Crotchback in the early-mid 70’s. (I was an Air Wingeron board the U.S.S. MIDWAY during Operation Frequent Wind/S. Vietnam Evac)Never made it to land, lost a few friends over there and more after theygot back here.
Written stuff for “HOT BIKE”, “IRON HORSE”, “Harley Women”, “HOOSIERMOTORCYCLIST”, “HOOSIER RIDER”, “THE HORSE-BackStreet Choppers” over theyears, teach the MSF Riders Course for ABATE of Indiana, certified/factorytrained Harley wrench, certified machinist, etc. Just wondered if youmight be interested in some tech stuff, input from the streets…hell,maybe a column on riding safe on the street based on my training/experienceand observations. In any case….GREAT SITE!! Wish you all the best in thefuture. Respectfully Racer
I’m proud to announce that Race will be working with us in thefuture. Initially we would like to put up a series of articles on theadvance riders’ course. For those of us that can’t eeeeeek out the timefrom the pub to take it, Race will endeavor to bring the curriculum aliveon the streets of Bikernet. We gotta keep you guys safe from the carpeople.–Bandit
SICK OF EASYRIDERS–Hey Bandit, I’m sure you’re sick of hearing about Easyriders, but Iwanted to tell ya I’ve read the rag since it started way back when. Stillhave almost every issue since number 1 except for the ones I loaned out orforgot to renew the subscription in time. Anyway, I miss your input andcreativity at ER. It’s just not the same, but I’m happy for ya doin yourown thing!!! I’ll be checkin’ in on this Web site regular. Ride Hard, DieFast–Humphrey
Never sick of Easyriders!
42 ARRESTED IN MOTORCYCLE GANG RAIDS–42 Hundreds of officers scoop up guns, cash and bikes in sweep againstthe Mongols. Three are charged with murder.
Hundreds of federal agents and Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputiesfanned out over three states Friday to drop an investigative net over theMongols motorcycle club, arresting at least 42 people in Southern Californiaand seizing dozens of illegal guns, cocaine and stolen motorcycles, theysaid.
The crackdown was the culmination of a perilous, 2 1/2-yearinvestigation in which an undercover federal agent joined the club and roseinto its executive ranks, officials of the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobaccoand Firearms said.
Authorities described the Mongols as among the most violent of theoutlaw motorcycle gangs, and said its members were suspected in a widevariety of crimes that include murder, extortion, arson, weapons violationsand illegal drug dealing.
At least three of those arrested Friday were charged with murder, ATFspokesman John D’Angelo said. The three are Adrian Gutierrez, 36, of MontereyPark, and two men identified only as David Herrera and David Rivera. Most ofthose arrested were charged with narcotics or firearms violations, D’Angeloadded.
The undercover ATF agent, who was not identified, joined theMongols’San Fernando Valley branch and rose through the ranks to become clubtreasurer, according to John Torres, the assistant agent in charge of theATF’s Los Angeles bureau. Before joining, Torres said, the agent wassubjected to a background check by a private investigator working for theMongols. How a veteran federal agent managed to pass that check and remainundetected for two years in a reputedly ruthless motorcycle gang was amongthe tantalizing questions left unanswered by the federal officials, whodeclined to discuss the operation in any detail.
ODD CLASSIFIEDS–2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 weeks old, Perfectmarkings, 555-1234. Leave mess.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
QUICKIES–A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like? Depends…
What’s “68”? You do me and I owe you one.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged!
FYI NEWS ITEM–For anyone interested in land speed racing, you might want to logonto: www.elmirage.org The new site gives you background on the ElMirage dry lakes used for, among other things, land speed racing sincethe 1930’s. The site seems to have fairly good content, but thecalendar need a bit of filling in. The site also seems to be “a workin progress” but is worth a peek.
LAUGHLIN CRITIQUE–re: bikernews (last section Golden Nugget piece) Yer a regular fuckin’Billy Shakespeare when it comes to describin’ hardbellies. –Virus
STAND BY: FLASH TRAFFIC AGENT ZEBRA-EYES ONLY–This is Suntransmitting fromTaiwan. Urgently need information from the German Feminine that only YOUcan obtain. Have bike paint job design in mind but need certain words inGerman to complete it. Ask the German Feminine how you say “Steel Horse”or “Iron Horse” in German. Once asked this of Bandit, but he must havebeen recovering from some Black Jack and drug induced bacchanal with somesweet innocent thing from the local high school playground and forgot.(No offense Bandit!) That’s it! Keep riding and writing–Sun, Bikernetforeign correspondent
NICK THE DICK MEETS ZEBRA, WORLDS COLLIDE–Dear Mr. Toole, It was so nice to see you lurking around the garageSaturday scrounging for food in the trash bins, when I was busy wrenchingmy champion steed for Sturgis. That is, after I got Bandit’s chrome-platedmess off the fuckin’ rack. And might I say you’re looking especially fatand ugly. You may want to make an appearance before the hose in the nearfuture, judging from the perfume of human offal and vomit which lingered inthe garage four hours after your much celebrated departure. And was thatsome sort of disease on your face, or are you trying to grow a beard? Atfirst I thought the Chinaman had bent over to pick up a wrench and the rearseam on his trousers had blown, then I figured it must be the plague, butBandit informs me you’re growing a beard in celebration of Sturgis. Ishall take him at his word, though I think we both know how foolish thatcan be. Have a happy divorce and may you have many more. Yours in infiniteadmiration, Don Zebra
POLITICALLY STRAIGHTFORWARD–Glad to see that some elements of what used to make ER a staple in myliterary cupboard can still be found. Good stuff. But one thing that reallychaps my hide is the apparent squeamishness I find in all of the bikermedia outlets when it comes to taking the Democratic party, particularlythat in CA, to task over “freedom of choice”. Those fucking hypocrites!Sure there are good Dem’s like Ed Vincent and a few others but it’s thedamn party that needs a good slap upside the face.
All of the blue collar union members who pay their dues to support aparty that has, and does, promote a socialist agenda (read helmet laws)needa real sharp slap in the face. As a former member of NFFE I can now sleepwith a clear conscience because I know that I am not standing on the plankthat I’m trying to lift. I suggest the rest of freedom loving union membersdo likewise. The union members have the power to change this if they willsimply tell their leadership that they’ve had enough and promise they willvote Republican ACROSS THE BOARD until the Dem’s burn that plank in theirplatform; then live up to that promise.
TOTO, I HAVE A FEELING WE’RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE–A blindingflash of light, then nothing. Slowly a dim blurred gray light brightenedand forms began to emerge. The forms became objects, a night stand, alamp, an alarm clock and beyond, a wall, a window filled with the morningsblue sky and the crown of an un-manicured palm tree. With the images clearother senses began to awaken in the same fashion, a familiar smell, an achein a neck muscle, the sound of the ticking clock. Next thoughts at firstunclear and disjointed began to form.
Suddenly a primordial thought, a survival instinct evolved over millionsyears explodes “WHERE THE HELL AM I?” Frozen in a panic of selfpreservation the senses retreat and the thoughts take the full focus ofbeing. A frantic search through recent memories attempts to answer thequestion. A bar, of course, every evening ends in a bar and is the portalthat leads to the next morning. This was a new bar, a business meeting?The meeting ended but the JD kept flowing. There was a woman of course,there always is. There was something unusual about this woman, what wasit? I must be in her bed, is she still here? Slowly rolling over to seewhat last night’s indiscretions involved.
OPPOSE UNCONSTITUTIONAL GUN CONTROL–Addressed to: The President and Congress of the US
Sponsored by: Second Amendment Sisters
Web site: http://www.i-charity.net/sw.cgi/ptn/4/tfref/5046
Not only can you sign this petition online, but alsoyou may leave a comment and a link to your web site.You can also read the comments of other people whosigned this petition. So far there are 45615 signatures.
Here is a brief description of this petition:
We are at important crossroad in protecting ourConstitutional Rights. With media support and exploitationof tragedy, the Million Mom March and HCI will succeed indiminishing our absolute right to bear arms, unless amillion of US say something! You deserve safety in your ownhome and person! Let lawmakers know that our 2nd AmendmentRights are NON-NEGOTIABLE, and put to rest the notion that75% of “the American people” support gun control. Lettingsomeone else do it is no longer an option.
EAST COAST REPORT–Well, darling man:The mention of your name and good wishes brought wide grins to the angelfaces and appreciation from Mr. Barger.
It was great to meet the man. I rode with him and the chapter through thestreets of New York City tonight. I was the only biker lady. I waspositioned just after the colors and before the independents. We hauledass, with Mr. Barger and Mr. Zito in the lead. A great experience.
The line was two hours worth of signing. The boys kept things real tight.I left my bike unlocked and helmet on the seat right on the streets of NYC.Nobody touched a thing.
There was paparazzi, video cameras and more. Usually, it’ssort of sacrilege to photograph. But they had to allow it for the bookpublicity. All the sergeant of arms were totally photographed.
The publicist was so completely out of her element. She was a nice girlthough. The signing went well, but the after party was not at allrespectful towards Sonny. Not a scrap of food and these men stood forthere boss from 5p – 9p with nothing to eat. Not even an open bar. Whatkind of party is that? Not one angel is under 250lbs, I can’t imagine themgetting by without dinner.
Prez said to the gal, hey get some pizza. Hunger pangs were loud for all. Ioffered the girl a few suggestions and she only had a corporate credit card.No pizza place takes credit cards. I said, talk to the bar owner, tell himto put the pizza on a tab and you pay him. That didn’t work, I say shedidn’t work him. She was desperate, so I took her credit card and foundfood for the party. I don’t really even know the publicist. The boys werethankful. She was thankful.
Then I had a delightful moonlit ride home all alone.–Sasha, live in NewYork City.
JOB ADS YOU CAN’T MISS– “Competitive Salary” We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.
“Join our fast-paced company” We have no time to train you.
“Casual work atmosphere” We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
EMPLOYEE EVALUATIONS–
I would not allow this employee to breed.
This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won’t be.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change whichever foot was previously there.
THE GOOD AGENT–Good of Agent Zebra to set the story straight.West Coast Choppers indeed! As I have read the saga of the touring chopperand the latest alternator swap under the Custom Chrome banner I have cometo realize that while Jesse is a master craftsman with metal his buildingskills possibly do not meet his rep. When read as a whole it appears thetouring chopper lacked in motor, chassis, handling, saddlebags, wiring.Where does the list end? Now the latest scoop with the demise of the BugatiBandito to be strewn in pieces and discarded. What the fucko? I wish youwell in your projects and must confess I am glad you have come to yoursenses and taken control yourself of the building phase. Your bikes werealways “out there” now take the credit yourself. I look forward to your andZebra’s bikes on Bikernet. Ride safe old stud! Anson Alexander
What’s that “old” shit?
MARVEL ENTERPRISES AND CRYSTAL SKY ENTERTAINMENT JOIN FORCES TOPRODUCE THE GHOST RIDER–Marvel Enterprises, Inc. (NYSE:MVL) andCrystal Sky Entertainment have entered into an agreement to jointly producea feature film based on Ghost Rider, one of Marvel’s most successful andedgy comic book characters. The announcement was made today by Avi Arad,President and CEO, Marvel Studios, and Steven Paul, President and CEO,Crystal Sky Entertainment.
Scheduled for production early next year, Ghost Rider is expected tobe budgeted at $75 million. Johnny Depp is being targeted to play the GhostRider. Arad, Paul and Academy-Award winning actor Jon Voight, who may alsoplay a role in the film, will produce. The Ghost Rider screenplay wasscripted by David Goyer, the writer of the acclaimed and successful Bladefilm.
Ghost Rider, who made his debut in August 1972 in Marvel SpotlightNo. 5, is one of Marvel’s premiere properties. The Ghost Rider storylinefocuses on a motorcycle stuntman, who, seeking revenge for harm done to hisone true love, makes a pact with dark forces to avenge the wrongdoing. Byday, the Ghost Rider is a motorcycle stuntman able to perform superhumantricks; by night he is transformed into a burning demon on wheels as hehunts down those who bring pain to the innocent.
START YOUR OWN BIKER RAG– Here’s information on publishing aFull Throttle Magazine in your area. Wecurrently produce editions in Florida, Georgia, North Carolina and our neweststate New Jersey! We have magazine owners who know very little aboutcomputers, know nothing about the printing business, can’t type worth a damnand yet they run successful editions. All you need todo is sell ads, write local stories, take a few pictures, have a faxmachine, install a 800 telephone number and use Federal Express – we’ll dothe rest!
We support each edition by supplying editorial copy, complete layout andfuture income via national ad sales. Hopefully during the next 6-12 months,Full Throttle will add additional national ads for all editions (examples:Custom Chrome, Arlen Ness, Corbin, Pro 1, motorcycle manufacturers,Budweiser, Jack Daniel’s, Marlboro, etc.).
We will typeset, layout and print your edition here in Tampa Bay. Via thelarge number of magazines we print monthly, we have secured the lowestpossible printing and freight costs. We are able to ship 10,000 magazinesfor about $225.00 per month.
This system has been working for us for the past 6 1/2 years and itis easier than it sounds! Our Web page will show you the approximatecost of doing a Full Throttle magazine. You’ll see the costs of each itemand the costs that it takes to put an edition out. YOU make the decision ofhow many pages your book will be (40 page minimum). YOU make the decision ofhow many color pages your book will have. YOU make the decision of how manybooks you want to print. We have a few guidelines, but YOU own your ownbusiness, YOU are the boss ….
Check Out our Web page for more info at www.fullthrottleusa.com or sende-mail to fullthrottle@ij.net or call us at 1-800-889-8180
PENNSYLVAINA MOTORCYCLISTS RALLY IN HARRISBURG MAY 22– “Tell thetruth about motorcycle safety.” That’s the message motorcyclists fromacross the state will send to legislators and opponents of helmet lawreform when they gather here for the state’s annual motorcyclists’ rightsrally May 22.”We’re sick and tired of being victimized by distorted statistics, biasedstudies and big-money, high-pressure lobbying tactics used by ouropponents, who believe that the answer to motorcycle safety is to put ahelmet on somebody’s head,” said Joe Dickey, state president of A.B.A.T.E.of Pennsylvania, the commonwealth’s oldest and largest motorcyclists’rights organization.”Just two weeks ago,” Dickey continued, “The Washington Times reported thatJoan Claybrook, the head of the National Highway Traffic SafetyAdministration under President Carter, has publicly apologized for usingcontrived statistics and outright lies to encourage mandatory air bags inautomobiles. The guilt finally caught up with her after 20 years andnearly 200 deaths caused by air bags. NHTSA has used the same scandalouslies to distort the record of helmets in saving lives.”The simple truth is that real-world experience in state after state hasproven that the only way to reduce the number of motorcycle injuries andfatalities is to prevent motorcycle accidents,” he said. “Common senseshould tell everyone that mandating helmet use will never accomplish thatgoal.”Dickey cited statistics from all 50 states, which show that states whichrequire the mandatory use of helmets by motorcyclists account for adisproportionate share of accidents, injuries and fatalities.In 1997, for example, mandatory helmet states, which had 62 percent of allmotorcycle registrations, accounted for 64 percent of motorcycle fatalitiesand 66 percent of all motorcycle accidents. States which have recentlymodified their helmet laws to allow adults the right to make their owndecision on helmet use have not experienced the increase in fatality ratespredicted by the opponents of personal responsibility. Governor Bush ofFlorida is currently expected to sign a bill passed by both the House andSenate that will make Florida the thirtieth state in which experiencedadult motorcyclists will have the option to choose helmet use.
For more information contact the A.B.A.T.E. of Pennsylvania state officeat 717-234-3777.
WISH I HAD SAID–
A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
IRON HORSE OF NEW MEXICO CORRECTION– Not Exactly a correction.Well, all right I omitted Don Center’s stats. He’s building these monstertrikes for guys who prefer or are forced to ride trikes in lieu of twowheels. They’re bad and available in a turn key fashion or kit form, so youcan put your own monster together. Don’s building an new one with a brandnew 500 horsepower power plant, which will allow any grinning customer toleap small buildings in a single snap of the throttle. His shop is actuallylocated in Roswell, New Mexico, at 1408 S. Main, (505) 627-7858. Watch,I’ll get the phone number wrong this time.
MO’ CHOP-OFF COMPETITION BAD NEWS–Dear Mr. Bandito, I’m writing to inform you that the Great NorthernSteamer, my spangled entry into Chop-Off 2000, will be operational in oneweek. This notice is to allow you time to weep and grieve properly. SoonSouth Beach will thunder with the Steamer’s new RevTech 88 as I begintesting, preparing for our friendly little race to Sturgis 2000. My Baker6-speed tranny is running smoothly, as all Baker trannys do. My Avons holdthe road like a nipple holds onto a breast.
Thanks to the Chinaman and his unusual speed on a rack, I will befinishing ahead of schedule. I will use the extra time to do fly-bys onyour rotting castle in San Pedro. As I understand it, you are still tryingto sweep together the mess made of your former motorcycle. Chortle,chortle, chuck, chuck. I pity you. Time will tell and shit will smell. Ihear Amtrak runs a train north and it comes within 20 miles of Strugis.Perhaps you should book passage before it fills up. Yours in streakingRevTech glory, Zebra
SHUT THE LID– The fog is still hovering over the harbor as Istrain to keep my eyes open. The Agent is correct, I’m running a long forthin the race to Sturgis. Jesse with all his money, mechanics and equipmentis cranking out choppers faster than Reddenbalker makes popcorn. Billy Laneis carving another frame on the pages of Horse Magazine. Zebra’sbike is nearly ready to be wired.
Yet, with little cash, no professional mechanics, milling machines andlathes, I will somehow catch the pack. Just you wait. My Samson exhaustsystem arrived today, the Roadwings wheels are laced and ready, and I stillhave a couple of nuts and bolts. I never said chrome. We’re bolting andpulling the plug for the ride. Who needs a taillight. We’ve got toride.–Bandit
