This news will be short because some of the crew are headed south to New Orleans to monitor the Confederation of Clubs meetings at the annual NCOM meeting in the French Quarter. There’s bound to be a surprise news flash next week.
One more thing, before we launch into the news. As you know the Bikernet headquarters are located in a multi-rise, ivory tower in the very center of the Los Angeles Post financial district, but since a certain blond knockout entered the picture my in-house gym was moved to a less spacious location. Here’s what I was left to face upon my return from the prison ship. Now, let’s get to the news:
SAMSON SEEKS RIG RIDER–The president of Samson Exhaust and the chairman of the board, Mr. Samson, himself called and told us in no uncertain terms to supply him with a new big rig driver for their brand new, high dollar, luxury (from chromed exhaust pipes) Samson Rig. You’ll have to attend every major motorcycle event in the country. I know, it’s tough duty, just report in goddamnit and make it snappy. Drop me a resume and I’ll pass it on, if it’s worth a shit: Bandit@bikernet.com.
SCREAMIN’ EAGLE NHRA TEAM CONTINUES COMPETITIVE TESTING EFFORTS– The Screamin’ Eagle/Vance & Hines National Hot Rod Association (NHRA) Pro Stock Bike drag racing team continued to make technical advances during the NHRA Summit Southern Nationals in Commerce, Ga., this weekend. Although the team did not qualify for the Sunday show, they remain confident of the potential of the program to become competitive in the series.
Cold, rainy conditions hampered the entire event and shortened Pro Stock Bike qualifying to just three rounds. After a first round mechanical, the Screamin’ Eagle Team netted a second round qualifying effort of 7.644 seconds at 166.48 MPH and a third round time of 7.619 seconds at 167.18 MPH. The “bump” to make Sunday’s show was a 7.349 elapsed time (E.T.).
“We gained a lot of valuable knowledge this weekend. The team has been busy working through technical issues, including tuning the new electronic fuel injection system,” said Mike Kennedy, director of Harley-Davidson Parts and Accessories Marketing. “We solved some of the issues which are expected in an all-new program, and we gained insight into others. Obviously, we have a long way to go to achieve our goals of qualifying and becoming competitive in this field. But we’re confident we have the best in the business working on this program.”
The team will continue testing in preparation for the Matco Tools SuperNationals in Englishtown, N.J. on May 16-19.
POSITIVE CLUB ACTION–HOUSTON, TX: Well, with that news about those few (and it really is a few) club problems,here’s a little POSITIVE perspective: In Houston, Texas, a group of citizens is workingto rehabilitate run down areas in the 136 year old Fifth Ward and Denver Harborneighborhoods. For starters, eight homes belonging to some old folks like me will berenovated and put in sparkling shape. Workers include hundreds of Conoco volunteers, andmembers of Motorcycle Clubs, including United Bikers, the Street Lords, and The ChosenFew. The bikers are working side-by-side with the St. John’s Baptist Church, the City ofHouston, the Mormon church; even with the Houston Police. Now that’s the image we wannabe working on. Congratulations, all of you hard working people!
For more legislative news go to the Bikers’ Rights Department.
TRIUMPH’S NOT DOWN FOR THE COUNT–A brand new motorcycle factory is being built by Triumph Motorcycles inHinckley, U.K. on the site destroyed in a recent fire. Production is expected to resumeby the start of September 2002. The new facility is said to be the most advanced in theworld. Hoorah!
FROM THE BIKERNET FARMING DEPARTMENT–A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for hischicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,”OK old fart, time for you to retire.”
The old rooster replies, “Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of thesechickens. Look what it has done to me. Can’t you just let me have the twoold hens over in the corner?”
The young rooster says, “Beat it! You are washed up and I am takingover.”
The old rooster says, “I tell you what, young stud. I will race youaround the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over theentire chicken coop.”
The young rooster laughs, “You know you don’t stand a chance old man, sojust to be fair I will give you a head start.”
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later, the youngrooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of thefarmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is already about 5inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porchwhen he sees the roosters running by. He grabs up his shotgun and BOOM!He blows the young rooster to bits.
The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, Dangit… third gay rooster Ibought this month.”
Moral of the story…Respect your elders …. age and wisdom can overcome youth and skill!
NUTTBOYS PROSTREET UP ON TWO WHEELS–This is the basis for the new Bikernet project bike. The plan is to shrink this sucker with the assistance of Dr. John and the Bikernet Garage. While the good doctor cuts the neck and moves it down and toward the front head we will cut an 1.5 out of the swingarm. So the project begins.We’ve made contact with a Porche restoration specialist who is a master of body work and sheet metal design. He’s also designing headers that will flatten and hide. Erst is a genius and we’ll see what he has in mind for pipes and perhaps a tank. This one is going to be fun. Hang on.
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