Monster Garage Editorial By Kat

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Monster Garage and its iconic smart ass white boy host, Jesse James, surprised even the crustiest of old school boys and girls with their 50th episode. Dedicated to “his roots” the show remained entertaining because of tribute and great building ideas. Jesse has risen to his garage space age status from his own ingenuity, the kindness of his elders and from those that blazed the promotional motorcycle trail.

Bringing together such infamous figures within the motorcycle industry and then riding off alone, fits both the show's advertising sentimentality and part of our world this tormented yet talented young man deems to lives in.

We met more masters of the trades. Touting the show as a “Special Builds” segment, the world of metal burns meets history, honesty and the older home boys. The builders here are all over 50. Each has seen the world change rapidly, gone through too many wars and brought up a family, maybe two. They were presented with a modern day Heritage Softail, resplendent in its stock state and after a day of design ideas tossed around the machine shop's loft, the consensus was to create a bar hopper, a performance based bar hopper. Or more often heard as, “The guy who rides this bike looks like he would kick your ass,” Said Jesse. How original.

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What was refreshing was the sparkle of metal magic and mechanic mischief that remains in these gentlemen's eyes. When port and polished barrels came back from the West Coast Choppers' actual shop for re-assembly, “Engine jewelry,” Carl Morrow called it. Related we did. The bike began to take shape after the scrap parts pile grew, each part removed patiently and place on the hard concrete floor. These guys didn't just throw parts around as many commercially correct shows might suggest. There was a time, long, long ago, when all parts were used over and over again to create a difference. These men lived those conservatory years and simply put, “Parts is parts.” If you didn't catch the slightest slow intentional movements, then a lot of the show was lost on you. Maybe they are moving slowly, they are older and oh, yeah, wiser. It's called methodical.

They dismissed the “watermelon” shape of Jesse's first rendition of fuel tank, showing their combined age and eye contact agreement. These are classic biker men, and a round Emu egg-shaped gas tank looked goofy.

Commentator remarks like “He (Jesse) loves to piss people off and then prove them wrong.” was keeping with the myth…

surrounding the man who seemed truly deferential to have these elder craftsman in his shop. Ok, so he did refab the tank's shape and produced another nice piece of copper encasing. We still relate to the old ways of taking a part from the pile and using that. We didn't have a copper, read “gold” mine in the back yard.

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The chopper came together with divine design choices and a tantalizing butterfly effect. That carburetor shot was not long enough to see! We agree that it is hard to come up with something different these days so returning to our roots made for perfect grace. It was interesting to learn about the evolution of custom parts into the CCI stock we see plastered on bike shop walls and a girlfriend's bike.

Artist and metal sculptor John Reed and his outrageously in style tattoos, showed us who thought up that black flame collection and how he became a hidden treasure. Distraction was the Metal Militia and the dirt bike antics of commercial television. Child's play can be appreciated but in the proper place. This was not the place to show off what we used to do over the bonfires. And our hackles came up when it was enunciated that “the journalist” was actually drilling pee holes for the electrical wires. That journalist is none other than Keith “Bandit” Ball, of biker literature fame, hard work, and editorial glory. Keith's presence here proved that you can do many things in life and excel in all that you do. Often, in this hour broadcast, it was noted that Keith's nod of approval meant something to all concerned. And his name came up first on the lists in the credits. Jesse considers him the “gatekeeper of the motorcycle industry” as do many of us that are writing here today. Keith's demeanor and presence at this “Special Build” remained strong, silent, a mindful mediator and always considerate. It looked like he did most of the actual assembly mock up work as well.

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Sexy outlaw seniors are quite okay with us! We weren't privy to seeing the bike side to side, fore and aft, once it was finalized and painted. Those copper legs, with old style rubber boots were yesterday cool (did they take the fenders tabs off?) and the basic blackness of the iron horse brought out the outlaw in all of us.

What has turned mainstream, thanks to the Discovery Channel and H-D for twenty recent years of making ride-able bikes, for many of us remains a way of life. It's all about the bikes, their beauty, an imagination and the wind in your face.

Jesse James, humbled and real, gave credit where credit was due.

He got exposure in the magazines, free bench time, parts at cost or free from people who saw something worthy in him. Then he got game.

Now he can bring a few of these generous and insightful men folks together and give them payback tool time. There was no challenge here. We knew that scoot would be up and running ahead of schedule and double the trouble of horsepower.

We have the faith. We are the following.

MG group shot w sigs

–Catherine “Katmandu” Palmer
Biker chick since '76

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