Thought I might share my last trip to the Burt Munro rally in Invercargill in the south island of New Zealand.
Six months ahead, I decide to head off to the Burt Munro, last year was a blast, great ride, great company, awesome event. This year however, instead of renting my bike from Renta Triumph New Zealand, I opted to go for a cheaper bike and spend a bit more money on “having fun,”first mistake.
The triumph I rented last year was a great bike, near new, very well maintained and the service was excellent, though the bike didn't really suit me for comfort. So, I went searching through the net for an alternative. I found a fabulous looking site, “well maintained fleet of bikes, long history in New Zealand tourist industry…etc.” They had a nice light modern Honda cruiser available. I made the proper enquiries, paid the deposit for two bikes, all should be sweet.
I arrived to collect bikes on the morning of the 26th November so my local mates and I could ride out and make a nice day of a ride down the east coast.
The bikes I saw were not in any way what I expected, the colour was the same as in the picture, that's about where the similarity ended. Both bikes had rolled past one hundred thousand km mark, and I think about 25% of that was on their side, sliding down the road. I'm sure none of the insurance excess collected had been used to repair and maintain the bikes.
Too bad if I wanted working front brakes or good front suspension. I let the guy at the hire place know that these bikes were of inferior quality, however I had five mates waiting, bikes loaded for the rally, ready to blast out, so what could I do but accept these heaps of crap.
Ok, so we head out, sun shining, bit chilly, all good, at approx 120km, my bike starts to run out of gas, so I turn it to reserve and we head into the gas station for a top up.
I dismount my bike placing my hand on the tank to steady myself, and the tank “implodes.” There is now a 2 inch concave dent in the top of my tank. What the? All around come to see, point and laugh. Yeah, real funny. So I ring the guy at the rental place. “Hey my tank has imploded,” I said. “I'm not wearing this, I didn't break it, this thing is a hunk of junk, I'm not happy.”
Turns out, the tank wasn't empty, as I first expected. The tank is not venting, so the gas won't flow properly with a vacuum in the tank.
Hire guy suggests after this happens and the bike continues to fail, that I should purchase an emergency plastic filler cap that is actually only suitable for a car and not for a tank of a motorcycle that could risk spewing flammable liquid all over my person.
I continue on the trip, as no other bike was available to replace this hunk of junk. I came to the rally to have fun damn it, and that's what I intend to do!
After the bike continued to fail consistently, I lost the rest of the pack, as I can't keep up on this thing 'cause it keeps breaking down. I was on the side of the road AGAIN having just nearly been killed AGAIN by highway traffic. I was getting just 1 to 2 kms at a time out of it after I fixed it each time.
I rang the hire place again, and suggested that if I laid it over, drained the remaining fuel, I could make a really nice fire out of the bike, (the insurance money could buy the second rate rental company three more bikes off “tade me” probably in better condition than this one). It was getting cold and dark by this time, my 6 1/2 hour ride was into its tenth hour.
Ok, no rental bikes available to replace this heap of crap, no transport, what fun I am having. It was 5:00 p.m. on the 26th of November.I limped the bike into civilization, (Invercargill) and opted to leave the bike in a safe place and take a taxi, at my expense, to find the rest of my party at the rally site.
Many phone calls later, oh the international roam, can't wait for that bill, and still no transport to be had. At8:00 a.m., 27th November, I made my way, by way of a friendly local, back into town to find food and the mechanics shop that the bike was delivered taken to. The lovely people at “Motosouth” believed they fixed the bastard. Sadly, they didn't. In their good will, they filled the tank before taking it for the test ride; hence, the bike performed wonderfully, as it usually did for the first 40km of a full tank.Thanks for all of your trouble trying to get the bike right, but in the end, they conceded that the bike was not a piece of crap, but not worth fixing, nor was it safe.
Ok, over to the wonderfully helpful people at Honda Invercargill they were trying to help me out with a replacement bike, unfortunately, the only bike they had available, was actually not available.
In the meantime, I suggested to the original bike hire (rental) place, that they should hire me a car. They didn't want to do that, no, it would be much better for all the lovely local people to drive me around and try to help me.
No bike available, so the hire place conceded I should have a car. They will pay for it. Too bad there is no “one-way” hire available, and they are not willing to pay for the car to come back to Invercargill.
Almost 5:00 p.m., 27th, November, at last, I have a hire car. The bike rental place agreed to return the car for me, refund the cost of one of the bikes I hired in full, refund the taxi fare, and pay for my international roam calls.
Great, 24 hours later, I have transport, back to enjoy the rally, rally, what rally? I have spent the first two days f**cking around with this dangerous unroadworthy hunk of junk. I am to continue my motorcycle ride up the west coat with my friends in a car–nice one. I think I will can the whole thing. Nothing like taking time off work and wasting your holiday time. Not to mention the interruption to the trip for my friends.
The price to rent the bike was $165 per day, each bike with insurance in excess of $3000. These bikes aren't worth a total of $3000 put together, and I didn't realize I was on the “rent a hack and risk your life” website when I made the agreement. They know who they are, let's just be thankful that an experienced rider got this deathtrap and not some unsuspecting tourist.
Sorry Burt, I won't be back next year, I will go to the states instead and hire a nice new Harley for $100 a day from Eagle Rider, and have endless miles of trouble free riding.
But thank you to all the lovely people who helped me try to continue on my way. I may have had to go home in a car, but at least it got me there. Oh, and if you want to hire a bike in new Zealand, try Renta Triumph, at least you know you'll get there and home again.
