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OXYMORONS FROM BIKERNET–
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why do “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
7. Why do “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game”when we are already there?
10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when youknow the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas oxymoron: What other time of the year do you sit in frontof a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
PEACEFUL ART JEWELRY DESIGN–** A Place where you Own your Dreams**
Smiling Eyes Cindy
Cindy K Haggerty
A Proud Native American
A RHS copyrighted chapter Peaceful
Jeweled Ladies of Logansport
A supporter of the American Motorcycle Company and Lost Bikers
BAD ASSED PIPES AND HEADLIGHTS–
DEMONS SOUTH
378 SW 14 TH AVE
POMPANO BEACH
3 3 0 6 9 FLORIDA
954 943 0000
http://www.demonscycle.com
http://stores.ebay.com/DEMONS-CYCLE-SOUTH Visit OUR eBay Store!
MIKE LEARN PRESENTS: TOTAL ARTISTIC DEVELOPMENT TOOLS — Belly Guns Series introduces a unique and straight-forward approach to painting pin up style artwork. This system will give you the tools and the confidence you need for any project with a female subject model. The “Work Smarter Not Harder” series will teach you to embrace technology available to today’s artists to improve both your work and your efficiency. The techniques shown in these DVDs will take years off your learning curve and boost your confidence at the same time. BONUS: All Mike Learn DVDs come with Bonus Content and a full set of the masks used.
MASKS: Learn offers a complete line of pre-cut vinyl masks, or downloadable plot files. New designs are added all the time. Browse a complete library of Pin Up poses at http://www.bellyguns.com. Mask kits include the pre-cut masks, Hi Res reference images (if pin up) and instruction. Kits are downloadable as well.
SUPPORT: All Mike Learn DVDs are COMPLETELY SUPPORTED. Log on to http://www.learnairbrush.com to register your DVD and gain access to FAQs, Support Forums, Downloadables, Discussion, Contests and much much more.
THE BLONDE YEAR IN REVIEW–
January – Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.
February – Couldn’t work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn’t fit into the typewriter.
March – Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because the box said “2-4 years.”
April – Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
May – Couldn’t make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets.
June – Couldn’t learn to water ski because she couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July – After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.
August – Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top was down.
September – When asked what the capital of California was: answered “C.”
October – Hates M & M’s because they are so hard to peel.
November – Baked a turkey for 5 days because the instructions said cook 30 minutes per pound and she weighed 120.
December – Couldn’t call 911 because there was no “11” on any phone.
–from Skooter
ANDREW HINES CLINCHES SECOND CONSECUTIVE NHRA POWERADE PRO STOCK MOTORCYCLE CHAMPIONSHIP FOR SCREAMIN’ EAGLE–Teammate GT Tonglet Takes Second Place in Final Standings POMONA, Calif. (Nov. 6, 2005) – Andrew Hines clinched his second consecutive NHRA POWERade Pro Stock Motorcycle championship Sunday at the 41st annual Auto Club NHRA Finals at Pomona Raceway.
He nearly made it a perfect evening too, as he rode the Screamin’ Eagle/Vance & Hines Harley-Davidson into the final round for the fifth time this season.
What’s more, teammate GT Tonglet earned second place in the final standings – his career-best finish.
“This is an amazing finish because not only did we win back-to-back championships but we also took second place for a strong 1-2 punch,” Harley-Davidson Racing Manager Anne Paluso said. “It’s especially incredible considering all the competition this season. It was tough to win rounds and races all year, so for us to finish in first and second place shows how truly dynamic this Vance & Hines team is.”
It is the fifth NHRA championship for tuner and team owner Byron Hines. The veteran crew chief also tuned his oldest son and current team tuner, Matt Hines, to three championships between 1997-99.
“This is a great day for both Harley-Davidson and the Vance & Hines family,” Hines said. “We never start the season looking to win championships. We start the season looking to set records and win races. If you can do that, the championships will follow and it has the last two seasons.
“We had the bike to beat at Pomona, but it didn’t go our way this year. That has always been one of the toughest tracks for us for some reason. We may have won the title, but that just gives us more motivation to get back to the shop and prepare for next season.”
Hines wrapped up the title as soon as Tonglet lost in the first round. Tonglet, just 47 points behind Hines in the standings going into the final race of the year, lost to Kawasaki rider Mike Berry. Tonglet turned in a 7.254-second pass at 182.55 mph in a losing effort against Berry’s 7.160 at 186.98.
Hines watched the run and knew he had clinched the title.
“I was really nervous before GT ran,” Hines said. “I wanted a repeat title so badly that I was just sick to my stomach before the first round. Then GT lost and I just put my head down and raced.”
Hines went on to win his first and second round matches at the starting line due to red-light fouls by his opponents. Hines went 7.100 at 187.89 to Buell rider Chris Rivas’ foul before turning in a 7.171 at 185.72 against Berry’s foul in the second round.
Hines posted a win in the semifinal race against Buell rider Chip Ellis, going 7.119 at 187.89 against Ellis’ 7.174 at 183.02.
In the final round, Hines saw red and so did his opponent, Buell rider Ryan Schnitz. Hines fouled at the starting line with a reaction time of -0.011 before going 7.107 at 188.70, giving the victory to Schnitz, whose -0.010 reaction time was followed by a run of 8.126 at 121.69. It was the second time the two riders have faced off in the final round and the second time Hines handed Schnitz the win at the starting line.
“It was a bittersweet ending to a great season,” Hines said. “This year’s championship was definitely much better than last year because I think we had to work a lot harder to make it happen. The red light in the final is disappointing but at least we were in the final this year, and I’ve been around long enough to know that it happens. I think it’s going to be a great offseason with two championships under my belt.”
Hines earned two wins in five final rounds this season along with 10 top qualifying awards. He also set the national record twice, earning an extra 20 bonus points for each record.
“Going 6.96 seconds in Sonoma (Calif.), earning the 20 bonus points, being the top qualifier and winning the race there made it the best event of the season,” Hines said. “We earned the maximum amount of points for one event and that was just awesome.
“If we had not set both of those records, I would have come into Pomona just seven points ahead of GT instead of 47, and who knows how that could have changed the event. It certainly would have made it a lot tougher. GT was a great competitor this year and I’m glad the team finished first and second in points. We’ve all accomplished so much.”
As if the championship and second place weren’t enough, the crew took home top honors as well. The team earned the first Full Throttle Award, given to the team with the most consistent qualifying performance over the course of the entire season.
Tonglet finished in sixth place last season. This year, he not only posted two wins in three final rounds, but he was also the points leader for the first time in his career. He held the top spot in the standings following seven races this season.
“I’m happy I stayed in second place because that’s a first for me and it shows how well we competed all season long,” Tonglet said. “At the beginning of the season I wanted to do better than last year and my goal was a top five finish. We did that. The V-Rod ran better this season, I rode better and it showed in our results. The work paid off and it was a lot of fun all year long.”
Visit http://www.harley-davidson.com for more information.
TOOL OF THE WEEK–We found the tool this morning. Since we use flaresonly, this 37 degree tool dies it for us. It’s atSummit Racing http://www.summitracing.com/ part #900311. You can see our use athttp://www.flatheadpower.com/ >Varia>Tube FlareProblem
Thank you for your help. You article was very welldone and easy to read.
— Kirk
OHIO HELMET BILL INTRODUCED–Better spread the word on this one.Wake up, OHIO Bikers, the safety nazis are back and this time they’re beating at OUR door. Introduced this week, HB 406 proposed that a fulltime helmet law be put in place for ANY operator and passenger under the age of 25! It further proposes that if anyone is charged under this statute, if enacted, a mandatory fine of 500.00 SHALL be imposed (good-bye judicial discretion) which will go to fund a Traumatic Brain Injury fund, some of which will be used to fund a study of traumatic brain injuries (you know where that one is heading, don’t ya brothers and sisters? Can you say MANDATORY, FULL TIME HELMET LAW?)
Anyway, here’s the short description of the bill’s intended purpose and a link to the full text of the bill.
As Introduced126th General Assembly Regular Session 2005-2006H. B. No. 406requires persons who are under 25 years of age to wear a helmet while riding on a motorcycle either as the operator or as a passenger, to require persons convicted of failing to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle, driving under license suspension, driving without a valid driver’s license, driving under OVI suspension, driving under financial responsibility suspension, and failing to produce proof of financial responsibility in certain circumstances to pay a mandatory $500 fine, to permit those persons in certain circumstances to choose between a jail term of two consecutive weekend days or attendance at a safe and responsible driving instructional class, to create the Traumatic Brain Injury Fund and the Safe and Responsible Driving Instructional Fund, and to require some of the fines paid by such persons to be deposited into these new funds.
If you don’t have computer access, call me, George, at the ABATE of Ohio Legislative office(330) 270-0875.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON 2006 XL SPORTSTER 1200L BRINGS IT ALL_New Model Combines Low Seat Height and Refined Ergonomics with Sportster Style–MILWAUKEE (November 3, 2005) – Harley-Davidson brings the best of its long heritage of street motorcycle design to the new 2006 XL Sportster 1200L model. Blending a low seat height and mid-mount controls with the powerful torque of the rubber-mounted Evolution V-Twin engine, the XL Sportster 1200L adds another exciting option to the Sportster family.
“The XL Sportster 1200L combines specific features and value that our customers requested,” said Bill Davidson, Harley-Davidson Director of Motorcycle Product Development. “This motorcycle is powered by a smooth-riding 1200cc black and chrome treated engine with a lower profile design that stays true to the Sportster heritage of narrow, agile styling.”The XL Sportster 1200L has a seat height of 26.25 inches, which is 1.8 inches lower than the XL Sportster 1200R Roadster. In addition, the handlebar grips are moved back an inch further than any other Sportster model and a new two-up Badlander style seat provides a comfortable ride. That lower profile seat height, merged with the ergonomics of the new pullback handlebar and mid-mount controls, is sure to accommodate a broad range of riders.
Featuring a black powder-coated 1200cc XL Evolution engine with chrome treatment, the XL Sportster 1200L performs with 79 ft. lbs. of torque. All 2006 XL Sportster models feature a new transmission and all 1200cc models feature a clutch that reduces lever effort by 12 percent. Overall shift effort is significantly reduced due to thin steel “dog rings” that slide to cause gear changes. The new transmission is integrated with the XL Evolution powertrain and shares a die-cast case with the engine. New helical-cut gears mesh more quietly than the straight-cut gears used in the previous transmission.
The 4.5 gallon fuel tank allows the XL Sportster 1200L an extended driving range of more than 200 miles per tank. Standard black 13-spoke cast aluminum wheels with machined silver highlights put a racing spin on Sportster style and steel laced wheels are optional.The XL Sportster is the original Harley-Davidson hot rod motorcycle, with a design refined from the racetrack to the street, offering premier performance and classic style.
The XL Sportster 1200L is offered in eight color options, including three unique two-tone paint schemes, all with a new 3-D fuel tank graphic.
The XL Sportster 1200L features:
Rubber-mounted 1200cc XL Evolution engine
Black powder-coated engine with chrome treatment
High-compression, high-flow cylinder heads
High-performance cams
Smoother, quieter transmission
Reduced clutch lever effort
26.25-inch, two-up seat
Low front and rear suspension
Pulled back polished handlebar
Mid-mount foot controls
4.5 gallon fuel tank
Black 13-spoke cast aluminum wheels
MERLIN ENGINEERING GEROTOR ‘MAGNA PUMP’–Gives you Better thanTwin Cam(TM) oiling on your Evolution(R)The Merlin? Gerotor Oil Pump as capable of supplying nearly 10 times theoil volume of the stock oil pump, and more than 4 times the volume of thereturn. This is not the real advantage of the Merlin Oil Pump however. Wherethe Merlin Oil Pump really shines is when the oil temperature gets high andthe oil has thinned out. The Merlin gerotor oil pump will continue tomaintain excellent oil pressure under the most severe conditions.
When you are idling in traffic on hot days, the oil pressure can reachdangerously low levels. The Merlin Oil Pump will not let that happen. Whenthe motor RPM gets close to the redline, conventional pumps cavitate andloose pressure when you need it the most. These pumps will not cavitateuntil the motor reaches over 14,000 RPM. That RPM is more than twice as highas most motors can ever reach. This is the reason that nearly every racingmotor on the planet uses gerotor type oil pumps.
And to top it off, the Merlin Oil Pump is also beautiful.
Comes complete with new drive gears, gaskets, hardware and installationinstructions.
Fits Harley Davidson Evolutoin Big Twin Models from 1993 to 1999
Available from Walsh Machine, LLC, the Manufacturer.
16890 Church Street # 3
Morgan Hill, CA 95037
408-779-4295
Fax 408-779-4342
POKER RUN & TOY DRIVESATURDAYNOVEMBER 12,2005 This will actually be the day we are going to do our check presentation to the Wahabi Shriners for $10,000.00 from the rally the Dixie Rollers had in July at the Atwood Water Park in Monticello, Ms., due to Hurricane Katrina our original date had to be rescheduled.
The Wahabi Shriners will be having their annual bar-b-que and gun give away on this date and have asked that we join them for the day and do the check presentation at the same time. Anyone going with the group will not have to pay to get in or to eat this day. We will be collecting toys on the morning of the ride to help with Christmas for the local evacuees from Hurricane Katrina, unwrapped toys from birth to 12th grade children will gladly be accepted.
Everyone is urged to bring a toy with them and make the poker run to Jackson to the Wahabi Temple Shrine located on Interstate 55. Money made from the poker run will go to help purchase more toys for the drive. After all Christmas is just around the corner!
Duncan’s Chevron meet @ 9:00 sign up for poker run
Leave @9:30
BRING TOYS!!!!!!!
Duncan’s is located at the intersection of Hwy 84 & 27 in Monticello
If you have any questions e-mail me or call Leigh Ann @ 601-587-4870 or 601-748-0884.
V-TWIN COMMITTEE REPORTS EPA NEGOTIATION PROGRESSIVE— THE FIFTH meeting of the MIC American V-Twin Committee at the end of August this year resulted in progress on the issues of EPA engine certification and sound test procedures.
Following earlier contacts, the EPA asked the MIC to draft provisions for an on-highway motorcycle engine certification program to allow small volume motorcycle manufacturers and builders to purchase EPA certified engines, and install them without having to recertify the motorcycle. Currently, custom builders and small volume manufacturers must certify the complete motorcycle even if they install an engine that is used in another motorcycle, and that has already been EPA certified.
The MIC draft engine certification program was presented to the EPA in July, which is now considering the proposal. The American V-Twin Committee also discussed recent progress with its OE Technical Committee on the feasibility of developing an appropriate in-use, on-highway motorcycle sound test procedure.
Motorcycle noise is a major concern and many states and municipalities are considering the adoption of varying standards and tests that could be detrimental to the industry. The Committee’s objective in creating this test is to provide states and municipalities with an easy, economical, reliable and uniform means of controlling excessive motorcycle noise.
Support for developing an in-use, on-highway test procedure has also been expressed by the Motorcycle Sound Working Group and some members of the Society of Automotive Engineers (SAE) Motorcycle Committee.
The MIC was planning to discuss this issue with the SAE at their next meeting. The MIC would likely be the key source of funding for a program to devise a new SAE sound test procedure that is simpler to use than the current one
HOT BIKE T-SHIRTS AVAILABLE-CHEAP–We still have plenty of these t-shirts left from Hot Bike Tour. If you wanna run something about them we will sell them for $7.00 including shipping. If there is something we can do together with them or know anyone who we could unload some on please let Seth or I know.
We can wholesale them out at about $4.00 each.
All sizes L-XXXL.
Call: Seth at (805) 686-2007
JAMMER ?JUMPIN? ROLLING CHASSIS KIT–Is this a bad-ass look or what! Designed by our Jammer tech crew, this rolling chassis kit is for riders who want to stand out from the crowd. Some of the highlights are:
Straight leg style rigid frame for rear chain drive with 4? stretch in down-tubes and 38 degree rake (includes frame cups & heavy-duty bearings)
4? over black Jammer springer front end
Bottom mount 12V headlight
GMA front brake
16? apehangers with risers & heavy-duty bushing kit
16? chromed 40 spoke single flange front wheel with 5.10 X 16? wide whitewall tire, rim strip, tube and axle kit
16? chromed 40 spoke dual flange rear wheel with 5.10 X 16? wide whitewall tire, rim strip, tube and axle kit
Round aluminum 4-quart oil tank
Smooth bottom Sportster style gas tank
6? flat rear fender
Chrome sissy bar
Sparto style taillight
Chromed ?oval? floorboards
Heavy duty kickstand and bracket
All necessary hardware.
Use our Pandemonium engine (#02208), one of our 4-speed Kicker tranny?s (#?s 30650, 30660, 30655 or 30665) and our new open belt primary drive kit (#633702) to complete your build.
PN 695153 ?Jumpin? Bail? Rolling Chassis Kit
Retail Price $5558
Jammer Cycle Products are distributed exclusively through Custom Chrome.
Call 1-800-359-5700 for details.
