Hey,
As the sun created a fireworks display over the L.A. Harbor this morning, the Dark-Haired One slipped into the turkey chasin’ mode and hit the stores. I knew the news was slight, but the show must go on.
It’s actually a perfect opportunity to thank the staff for the hard work and dedication they’ve put into this start-up biz. Ya see, when I departed ER, my intentions were to get drunk and write books. Well, actually, it was to chase women and write books. I only get drunk when I can’t find a soft touch–I get depressed. A couple of brothers told me that the site was cool and I should go after it. I hesitated, but finally decided that we would give it all we had for the year, then take a step back and review what we had accomplished. Well, it’s been a helluva year.
The credit needs to be piled on the few, the proud and the mean: Jon Towle, for his creative ability and his divorce, which slanted everything he drew; Ladd “Nuut Boy” Terry and his lovely wife, Debbie, for helping me drive every nail into the Bikernet headquarters, and for Nuut Boy’s contributions and Bikernet guidance; The Digital Gangster for his round-the-clock Website diligence, unrelenting drive to create new programs and build the site, and Oz for his censorship standards (keeps me on the straight and narrow), and help when he isn’t involved with some political campaign. He’s currently consulting for Harley-Davidson and running for membership on the AMA board. Soon he’ll be such a damn heavyweight he won’t talk to us at all. I want to thank the Dark-Haired One, for her support and disdain for everything healthy that I eat. She cringes at protein shakes, squirms at steamed vegetables and turns her head at tuna salads. Of course there’s Sin Wu, who is a flower in a bucket of bolts, as she moves seductively through the war rooms and heated discussions keeping the accounting in order, helping advertisers and stroking my leg.
I want to finally thank all the sponsors on the site who believed in us enough to jump on board. It’s what keeps me in Top Ramen and Jack Daniels, Markus Cuff in film and the parts in the garage. We need to get to the news, but just one more thing. This year, unlike many in the past (even though I was working in the business), I felt the pure adrenaline joy of being a biker.
Here’s a glimpse of the interior of the Bikernet headquarters.
I’ve spent more time this year in the saddle, in the garage and on the road than many years in the past. There’s nothing like being a biker: The romance of cutting through the streets in the wee hours to her house in the ghetto; working in the garage from dawn to dusk to make another machine unique, or to try something new. Calling pals all over the country to find out what the fuck I’m doing wrong now, and enjoying the power of busting your ass for months on a machine that will cut traffic like wire through cheese. There’s nothing like it, so if you can, turn off the goddamn computer, roll that sucker into the street and find a turkey to attack. Let’s ride.
CONTEST WINNERS–
We have contest winners for the name of our “In the Wind” section and from the photos that are now up in the Freedom Photo section (we haven’t decided on a final name yet). There’s David E. from Grapeville, Penn., and Dave Dinneen from Melrose, Iowa. Each one will receive a double XX original Bikernet T-shirt. Paul Morris from Ventura, Calif., suggested “Knees in the Breese,” which we all thought sucked, but he gets a T-shirt anyway.Photos are in and the section is up. Have A Look
WINO JOE ON TURKEY DAY–Mr. Bandit and crew, I figure y’all are in a rush to head over thahills/thru tha woods to Grandma’s house to eat her food. ThisOl’Cherokee is from the Turtle Band, so I’ll just take my time and when Iget there, I’ll eat Grandma:)
–Ride On! Wino Joe, USA
BRENDA, BRENDA, BRENDA–She works for Bartel’s Harley-Davidson, but she’s actually the property of Bikernet. The Orange County Hells Angels and the New York chapter are trying to kidnap her. While she’s still tied up in the Bikernet basement, you can see what we’re doing to her new Deuce on the site. Check the H-D section and she’s even in the Samson section. Damn, she gets around. Last week the fleet center retuned her carb (that better be all they did), and installed a Screamin’ Eagle ignition. Not sure I like the sound of that one. We’ll post the results here on the site.
FOUR WOMEN IN TEXAS–When one woman calls, that’s cool, but when I get to four, I call my travel agent. This week I spent a couple of long nights in Dallas, but I must have forgotten to brush my one tooth before I left because Jenny left town as soon as I arrived. Kelly left me at the airport, Lena, from Dallas Easyriders, (my sixth wife to be) refused to have lunch with me and Dawn made up for all the rest. I spent a day with the riders of Chrome Specialties, one hell of an upbeat group, all striving to make Chrome Specialties a stand-out distributor of custom parts for the hardcore and chopper enthusiast.
In the next couple of days, you will see the entire Streetware apparel line launched on Bikernet. Yep, you’ll be able to pick from over 750 items, including Jesse James apparel, Bad Pig and Prison Blues. This is cutting-edge, bad-assed, asphalt-dirty, slick shit. The first thing I’m ordering is a couple pairs of Prison Blues denims. They even have a pair of fleece-lined denims. Prison Blues are made by Oregon prisons and are cut to fit like shackles on a road gang.
FLORIDA TO BE DROPPED FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA– WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following an emergency meeting Wednesday morning,Congress unanimously voted to excise Florida from the United States of America.The move was a reaction to the confusion and irregularities in the state’s voting numbers that have totally disrupted the 2000 presidential election. “This is the last straw,” said Utah Sen. Orin Hatch. “First Elian Gonzales, now this.”
Several congressmen told reporters the decision has been a long time in coming. “We’re all pretty much sick of Florida,” said Rep. Barney Frank. “They’ve been a constant embarassment for too long now.” AddedFrank, “They had Dan Marino for a while, but what have they done lately? Oh that’s right, screw up our entire democracy. I forgot”
In a speech on the Senate floor, Massachussetts Sen. Ted Kennedy commented that the loss of Florida’s sizable elderly population will freeup billions of dollars in Social Security funds. “These are valuable funds which can now be redirected toward national defense. We can finally rebuild our demoralized, weakened military,” said the senator to roaring applause.
As a result of the Florida screw-up, the House and Senate decreed a new election will take place in early December. This time, ballots in eachstate will be tabulated by robots. “It is clear that our human vote-counting system is too inherantly flawed,” said Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. “The presence of these new, superior robot mast- err, I mean – tabulators will ensure 100 percent accuracy.” “Remember,” said Hastert, “every vote counts, especially if it’s counted by robots.”
Dynamiting will begin in Florida next Wednesday, after which the statewill be completely geographically seperated from the United States. “After that, they’re on their own,” said Hastert. “I hope they sink.
WRENCH’S BIKE BARN–Watch for new bikes coming to the Bike Barn on a regular basis from the publisher of HardTail magazine The Real Deal, the only rag on the market devoted solely to rigids and traditional choppers. The rough riders are back and running strong.
Quantum MEMO–
From: Murray Smith [mailto:aceo@home.com]
Sent: Monday, November 20, 2000 4:32 PM
To: rogue@bikerrogue.com
Subject: Quantum
Hi Rogue, it’s Murray Smith. I just finished reading bikernet.com and allof its back issues. Great stuff! I don’t know what Starke is up to, buthe should at least have his facts right. I was neverCEO of Quantum, I still remain the sole director of American MotorcycleCompany (a wholly owned sub of Quantum). Rick Block and I did go to NewYork and are both working 16 hours a day trying to save the company.
There is a hearing in Orlando on Dec. 4 that should tell all.There are a lot of good people working hard and praying for Quantum tomake a comeback. Rick and I are doing both.
I do not have time to waste on anyone who is not working with us. Ifyou’re not with us, get the fuck out of the way.
Anyway, I hope to see you and the rest of the team soon. Please feel freeto e-mail anytime or call (416) 250-7051.
–Murray
This is Dave and Steph from the Love Ride. We are still accumulating photography for our extensive Love Ride coverage, which will go live as soon as we’re sure no one will be arrested or busted for being with the wrong babe. This couple is cool. We checked ’em out.
ANOTHER WINNER IN THE NAME GAME–Here’s a list of some names for a road-worthy site. I know I need to slow down on the wacky weed, but what the hell, I’m outta whiskey. Hope to read about the Love Run tomorrow. I hope you had a helluva time and tell us those stories that legends are made of.
Here are some suggestions for names of the new addition to Bikernet about being on the road.
— Smack
A little gas and a sore ass any and everywhere
A million cars and new bars
A million past and a million to go
Anywhere but here
Ass calluses
Backroads pleasure treasure
Baggers to bungee cords
Bedrolls and backroads
Bedrolls and chuckholes
Bedrolls and tent poles
Been there but I’ll be back
BFE
Blacktop
Break away
Bungee cords and bushes
Burn’t rubber
Chaps and chuckholes
Coast to coast
Constant thunder
Cool, crisp and clean the road machines
County lines
Cruisin and outdoor snoozing
Curves and corners
Dawn to dusk
Twists and turns
Etching new trails
Every which way the wind blows
Flying gravel
Forward controls
Fouled plugs and freeways
Freaks and film
Freedom from freeways to farm roads
Freeway flights
Freeways to farmland
From molehills to mountains
FTW I’m seeing it!
Gas grabbers
Genuine hard asses
Getting around
Glutton for the road
Good vibrations
Grid what?
Greasy spots and frozen snot
Hardcore highway
Hell bent for traveling
Hemorrhoids and hard tails
Here and there
Home is the highway
Kings and queens of the road
Leather asses
Live to ride
Loving leathers
Map markers
Meetin’ and greetin’
Miles and piles
Miles behind
No gridlock
No substitute
Oil stains and ass pains
Old places new faces
Old roads new friends
Open road warriors
Outta here
Photos and fairways
Pissin’ in the snow
Pissing blood
Porta potties and potholes
Rain, sleet, snow, and the winding road
Reliable rumble
Righteous road ramblers
Road signs
Road trips
Road worthy
Running streams and nice scenes
Rural route ramblers
Saddle shifting
Saddle sores
Saddle surfers
Saddlebags and hags
See ya later
Seeing it all
Sled heads
Spent miles
Spinning spokes
Spinning spokes and billet blacktop
Squatting in the bushes
Super shiftin’
T’aint here, t’aint there
Tales and smells
The open road
The outside track
The real feeling
The room with the view
The scene
The wayward road
Toilet paper and road rations
Tread wear
Trips and tramps
Turnstile tramps
Twistin’ the wick
Two-wheel views
V-twin dreams & scenes
Weather love
Whereabouts unknown
Whispering winds
White line times
Wind blown
Wind-chill
Wish you were there
Worn tread
THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE– is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the law offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE. Visit us on our Website at http://www.aimncom.com
Good news from the UK!! Due to diligent work on the part of MAG (Motorcycle Action Group), motorcycles are now recognized as part of the solution to traffic congestion, not part of the problem! They will notbe charged a toll (the ”congestion charge”) to enter central London. The logic of MAG’s campaign to promote motorcycles to combat pollution and congestion took hold in Britain. Good news indeed for our brothers and sisters in that part of the world. Time for the REST of the world to take note!
CUSTOM CHROME has instituted a virtual showroom on the Internetfeaturing interactive 3-D. Customers can look at parts from all angles and decide if they want to buy them without driving across town and maybe not being satisfied and coming home empty handed. Now you can look first and THEN drive across town. Neat stuff, huh?
LAS VEGAS: We all remember hearing about that stunning motorcycleshow the Guggenheim Museum put together last year. Well, now they plan tobuild on the Vegas Strip in two places. The Guggenheim Las Vegas and the Hermitage Guggenheim Museum will be built by the prize-winning architect Rem Koolhaas in the Venetian Resort-Hotel-Casino.
The gallery’s inaugural exhibition will be “The Art of theMotorcycle” that opened at the Guggenheim Museum in New York in 1998, and receivedlots of kudos from the motorcycling community, including a Silver Spoke Awardfor Arts from the National Coalition of Motorcyclists.
CHINA again: This time, well, it’s “electrifying.” They’ve gotthis Jumping Antelope brand of electric bikes that are going to be a bighit all over Asia real soon. The Jumping Antelope brand of electrically operated motorcyclesare built by the Suzhou Little Antelope electrically operated Motorcycle Co.Ltd. in Jiangsu province. The bike has been chartered as the anti-pollution vehicle in the 21st Century by the Ministry of Foreign Trade and Economic Cooperation. What’s more, over 1,800 Jumping Antelope motorcycles have been exported to the United States, Italy, and Thailand.
DAYTONA BEACH, Fla.: The Florida insurance industry is renewing a callto force bikers to strap on helmets after the deaths of five people during Biketoberfest this year. (Four people died last year, according to DocReichenbach, president of ABATE of Florida and chairman of the board ofNCOM, and attendance at this year’s event was much higher because it waslid-free.) The AAA and health and safety organizations fought hard during last spring’s session of the Florida Legislature trying to block the repeal that allows bikers older than 21 to ride without helmets as long as they carry $10,000 in medical insurance.
The insurance industry lost that legislative battle, conceding defeat only after Florida Gov. Jeb Bush signed the new helmet bill into law last June.
This is more proof the helmet fight isn’t over anywhere we manage towin, folks. They will come back at us with any excuse they can find. We needto be responsible riders or we will never win this battle. And when thereare>deaths of unhelmeted riders, we need to look REAL close at the stats and circumstances. TOKYO: Well, here’s a brand new use for a motorcycle: According to the Kyodo news service, some biker in Japan figured a way to rig a littlespycam in a ladies room and broadcast it through a radio system on hismotorcycle! Must be a new option for Honda in 2001, eh? I gotta say the cops weren’t impressed and they arrested the guy.
SPAIN: A new concept to protect motorcyclists from hitting guardrails – or worse yet, those ”cheese grater” wire barriers – has been developedin this country. It’s a net that’s set under the rail and prevents a bodyfromsliding under it. An additional piece of protection covers the sharpedges of the crash barrier post. There may be other advantages to the idea suchas preventing small animals from scooting out onto the road suddenly in frontof traffic, and maybe reducing the effect of lateral wind. They also pickeda white color for the net, for better road visibility in bad weather.They’re also talking about adding reflective devices into the net. This is justone example of safety engineering that really counts, and ISN’T an impositionon our personal rights. Could it be that highway engineers are beginning to realize scooter people are citizens too? Seems so in Spain, anyway.
BIKERNET BIKER BABE REPORT FROM THE BIG APPLE–Here’s a riding woman on the move writing for Bikenet, creating her own site, Bikerlady.com, covering Sturgis for Penthouse, writing the tale of Biketoberfest, being featured in Easyriders and writing sales material for Ultra. She’s non-stop. Watch for her at events near you, and for her impact and insight on the new Ultra products geared for the softer rider.
BRANSON MOTORCYCLE RALLY–There’s a motorcycle rally in Branson next May and you’re invited.Visit us at bransonmotorcyclerally.com for more information
The largest independent travel service and one of the top resorts in Branson, Mo., have partnered up to host the first Branson Motorcycle Rally. The organizers for the Branson Motorcycle Rally feel that a family oriented event held in an area offering mountains, lakes, entertainment and shopping, and which is centrally located in mid-America will attract a large segment of motorcycle enthusiasts.
It appears that most successful events are those that offer a wide variety of entertainment opportunities (best lookin’ babes), a unique location (plenty of saloons), and excellent accommodations (big beds). Slip away to America’s heartland, and one of the most remarkable places on earth… a unique combination of big-time fun and a small-town heart… a dynamic mix of neon and nature. This place is Branson, Mo.
There is music, comedy, magic and fun from morning to night. Forty theaters, with more than 90 shows, provide guests with entertainment options unlike any other vacation destination in the world. Plus, area theme parks and attractions will surely please every member of the family.
DEVIL DOLLS 2001– Calendar Release Party. Come out and help us celebrate the release of our hot new calendar for 2001!
When? Dec. 1, 7 p.m. – 2 a.m.
Where? The Double Play (groovy niteclub), 2401 16th St., at Bryant San Francisco (across from the Portrero Hill Shopping Center)
Featuring live music by ManMade God A wild fetish/fashion show by Stormy Leather and the Dolls Devil Doll merchandise and, of course, plenty of our new HOT 2001 calendars and the Dolls to make ’em personal…
$5 cover at the door Plenty of parking.– See ya there No Fear.
www.devildolls.com (415)546-3700
INTERESTING SHIT–Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.
Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on aPezdispenser.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of theNikefactory workers in Malaysia combined.
Adolf Hitler’s mother seriously considered having an abortion butwas talkedout of it by her doctor.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
All U.S. presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn’t like beingseenwearing them in public.
Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
TOURING CHOPPER FOR SALE–OK, so Don Whalen is trying to sell the Indian, but the prices keep fluxuating due to the influx of the new Indian brand. The Touring Chopper is another matter. A complete concept bike built in six months, the bastard took me to Sturgis in 1997. It’s still a low mileage, 98-inch stroker that has always been treated with respect. We recently redesigned the exhaust system and corrected the rear suspension with new, slightly longer shocks. The Bikernet garage needs expansion, so we may have to just let the Red Ball go to a rider with heart.
TURKEY TIME–Time to roll the bad-assed Blue Flame into the street and hit the road for feasts and females, flights of fancy, soft curves and tantalizing tastes. Thanks for hangin’ with us this year. We’ve had a helluva time with the help of good friends and family.
Here’s another shot from inside the Bikernet headquarters.
Talk about a wild time for this industry. The bottom line is that everything changes, and the wise and strong survive to party another day. So stay on your toes, secure the garage. Don’t let anyone get to your bike. It’ll be interesting to see the next year unfold. Some companies will be drifting away, new ones will emerge. The factories will continue their onslaught into the custom component market. I’ll drop a twin-cam engine into a Pro Street FXR frame, the Buell will sing and I’ll try my damnest to write another book. In the meantime, remember that it’s not material bullshit that counts, but the adventures of life, the experiences, the nights of pure total bliss and the shit we create with our bare hands that makes it all worth living. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Say hello to grandma. She’s the only one of the scowling family who digs it that you have the balls to ride and defy tradition. Rebels forever–Bandit
