November 8, 2001 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–STRANGE ADVENTURES AND REPORTS

I was recently informed that my news intros were losing their flair. I was too serious, too pressured by day to day rigors and bullshit. The report indicated that my intros had lost their sex appeal. That did it. I turned in my resignation and ordered flights to Houston where I knew a redhead 20 years ago. I’ll snag the bitch and take her to the MS Leon, the tiddy little tramp freighter that’s currently ablaze in the Panama Canal. From there we’ll ship out to New Orleans where we’ll hook up with another Mardi Gras bi-babe for a two-day threesome before we’ll leave port for Miami to hook up with our drug connection then to Baltimore for cultural encouragement and historic lessons. From there we set sail for Hamburg Germany, Middlesbrough, in the UK, Holland for some cheap hashish, then to Spain for another woman with real Latin passion, then to Italy for pasta and this Italian broad I’ve missed. From their we head into some tentative areas near the Suez Canal and Egypt, but we’ll get to that later. I’ll report on the sex from each port, I swear. I’ll report on the bikes I see and the brothers and sisters I meet, the evil deeds and bad drug deals.I am aware of the threats against Americans in many areas I might dance through and discussed it with Mark Lonsdale my Close Quarters Combat Sensie. A close associate of his is Richard Bustillo the owner of the famed International Martial Arts and Boxing Academy who has been riding the same Panhead for 25 years. He lured me to his dojo where I requested weapons training. Dick was a long time pal of Bruce Lee’s, in fact snuck into the country with Bruce decades ago. He was recently inducted into the 2001 martial Arts Hall of Fame but was unable to attend the banquet because of a military training excercises in Orlando at the same time. He is asked to train police and military special forces the world over and is constantly on the move. So for the last couple of weeks, sore ribs or not, I’ve been training with sticks and knives at the hands of one of the best in the world. Goddamnit, let’s get to the news:

BIKERNET EXPANDS HEADQUARTERS–Yes, that’s correct. We’re making so much fucking money we nearly doubled the size of the Bikernet Garage. Here’s evidence of our ongoing growth and accomplishments. Wait until we post shots of our new jail cell for slow contributors and women who try to escape, uh, actually we’re building a new foyer to the bikernet compound. Well, not exactly. Oh fuck it. We’ll at least have a tad more space for parts.

CROSSROADS MAGAZINE–I’m sad to report that my lovely connection on the east coast of Florida has decided to marry another man. Can you imagine? I’m heart-broken, but I must muscle up the pride to go on. Katmandu decided to marry Commander Randolph Lee Palmer on November the 10th. We here at Bikernet wish her and the Commander the best of love and safe roads into their future. Personally, I think she went through with this bad move because he’s a Commander and I’m only a Lieutentant in the Hamsters. Pissed me off. Recently she has been contributing to various magazines and building her freelance portfolio. She send us copies of the July/August and September/ October issues of this new slick bike magazine call Crossroads, with her coverage of her ride through England. The magazine is based out of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and if you need info or want to see a copy call (954) 202-5985 or e-mail them at contos1@mediaone.net. It’s a sharp looking rag.

LOVE RIDE WEEKEND–That’s right, this here is da Love Ride Weekend with parties every minute, starting tonight. Joe Walsh, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Vanilla Fudge, and Billy Ray Cyrus will headline Love Ride 18 on Sunday, November 11th. Jay Leno will be leading the pack once again. Sign-ups begins at 6:00 a.m. on Sunday at Glendale Harley-Davidson. The shop is located 3717 San Fernando Road between Los Feliz and Brand Blvd in Glendale, California.

It’s $50 buck a pop minimum for this, the largest motorcycle charity event in the fuckin’ world. But the action for the day is non stop with the ride out to the Lake from the dealership, a Motorcycle Trade Show, barbecue chow from Tony Roma’s. Myke Schwartz Skydiving Team, Victor McLaglen Motorcorps and Rhett Rotten’s Wall of Death will entertain the crowds. Plus there will be Prizes awarded to all participants including Love Ride Pins, Bandanas, T-shirts for the more money you raise. Up to Base ball caps, jackets and the grand prizes include a 2002 Ford Harley-Davidson F-150 SuperCrew pickup and a 2002 H-D FXST Softail. For more information about the prizes and the event check www.loveride.org.

BIG DOG IS ALIVE AND WELL–Here’s news from the only limited edition custom bike builder in the country that’s still growing strong in the market:

From rigids to rubber-mounts, Big Dog Motorcycles has been producing premium American cruisers for seven years, and are now shipping their 2002 model line-up. For 2002, Big Dog developed a more aggressive line of bikes that features cutting edge design such as one-piece tanks, contoured fenders and new machined aluminum wheels.

These new models show off Big Dog’s commitment to aggressive custom style while still providing some of the best riding premium cruisers in the business. In addition, Big Dog has announced the introduction of two totally redesigned models featuring the popular “Super-Fat” rear tire. The launch of the Big Dog Motorcycles’ “Super Fats” series (Bulldog, Mastiff, Pitbull) coincides with the unprecedented success of last year’s Mastiff. The Mastiff was Big Dog Motorcycles top selling bike for 2001.

“The 2002 bikes have a lot of attitude. We went from bike to bike looking for ways to significantly improve each model. We developed a stable of three fat-tire bikes for the main street cruiser, including the new Pitbull, a “Super-Fat” rigid frame. On the other end of the spectrum we developed the ProSport, a rubber mount, 6-speed bike that gives riders maximum comfort and performance,” said Big Dog Motorcycles President, Nick Messer.

This was on the rear fender of Allen Herzog’s Super Gas bike 28 at Vegas. –Helen W.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Another week goes by, the work orders keep racking up, and it’s rainingcats and dogs. We got a call from Geno at The Horse for a super tight photoshoot, as soon as we saw a couple rays of sun we hurried some photos of theorange WCC. There’s a few rides planned for this weekend , it seems theywill be wet ones. We are totally swamped with work at both shops, yeah sowhat else is new. Man and we can’t make it to the Love Ride and No loveparty, that sucks.Oh well ,why complain, life is good. And here’s the news.

The super cool No Love party will take place at WCC shop in Long Beach thisSaturday, man we will miss it.

In the Dec issue of Hot Bike, they chose the best 6 bikes of 2001, we areproud to say that we are distributors for BMC and Bourget’s, both in thelist.

The Desertores will have a two ride weekend, one Saturday , one Sunday.They will have an early , very early Toy Run, and a ride to the East sideof Puerto Rico.

The HOG Caribbean Rally is near, seems like visitors incriptions are down,but the locals will be present. They have done to activities so far forincriptions.

The first Custom Bike show will take place this Sunday 11th in the mountaintown of Cayey, as far as we know, and if the rain allows it. We are one ofthe sponsors and await for the go ahead.

Watch for upcoming issues of the Horse magazine (subs here in Bikernet)we will be featuring a cool bike from Puerto Rico, and sometimes a goodlooking local girl. We are working on a full article just about our shopCaribbean Custom Cycles.

We have the first two Bourget’s EX choppers, they are an economic versionof the famous BBW bikes. The choppers are very similar to higher end BBW’sbut with an 80 cu in motor and 5 spd tranny ,both from Harley, the pricerange is from $22,000 to $23,000 We will feature both bikes here inBikernet soon, for more info call your dealer or us.

Panhead for sale

Im going to add some bikes for sale during the weeks, off and on, pleasecall us at the shop (787) 721-0633 for more info:
2001 HD Xl sport 4 plug, black 2,000 miles $12,500
2000 HD Road King Classic, lots of stuff 2,100 miles burnt orange $24,000
2000 Caribbean Chopper 80 cubes daytec rigid $16,000 NEW !
1999 HD Dyna Wide custom color , 1,200 miles $23,000
2001 BBW Kruzer 113 SS motor yellow $22,500 (super deal)
1999 BBW Chopper black 96 SS motor $24,500
Oh well, Bandit’s about to leave, we are “under water” and lots of workmust be done before the HOG rally. We intend to show up at the openingparty with at least a dozen noisy choppers, create some mayhem is our goal.We will let you know when this happens.

And to the Weasels, there’s no such thing as a $12,000 front end or an overnight custom bike builder.Take it easy, but take it !

–Jose Caribbean Bikernet, drowning, agent.

WEED NEWS LETTER–On October 25, with our nation still focused on the war againstterrorism, 30 DEA agents raided the Los Angeles Cannabis ResourceCenter, which distributed medical marijuana to nearly 1,000 seriouslyill people, most of whom have AIDS.

The DEA seized all of the center’s computers, files, bank account,plants, and medicine. The clinic, which had been the largest and mostwell run medical marijuana distribution center in southern California,is now out of business, and its patients are now combing the streetsto buy marijuana from street dealers.

In response to the raid, a U.S. Justice Department spokesperson said,”The recent enforcement is indicative that we have not lost ourpriorities in other areas since Sept. 11,” according to The New YorkTimes on October 31.

This is an outrageous statement, and it’s time for us to fight back.Please visit http://www.mpp.org/USA to send a pre-written letter ofprotest to your U.S. representative. H.R. 2592, the states’ rightsmedical marijuana bill currently pending in the U.S. House ofRepresentatives, would change federal law so that the DEA would nolonger be able to prosecute patients in states that authorize medicalmarijuana.

MPP’s Web site will determine whether your U.S. representative (1) hasnever taken action to change federal medical marijuana policy, (2) haspreviously supported medical marijuana in Congress but has not yet co-sponsored H.R. 2592, or (3) is already a co-sponsor of H.R. 2592.

Regardless of how supportive or hostile your U.S. representative is,MPP has developed a series of pre-written letters that you can choosefrom, with different letters tailored to each of the three groups ofHouse members mentioned above.

Please visit http://www.mpp.org/USA to send a pre-written letter.THE WHOLE PROCESS TAKES LESS THAN TWO MINUTES.

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