Big week at the Bikernet sweat shop. You know the feeling of having a week that looks as calm as Monday Night Football and a cold one — no break-ins, fist fights, cops banging on the crumbling exterior of the Bikernet headquarters, nada. Sure, my plate was full with six tech features that needed to be written and I had to proof the Orwell cover and send it to the printer. We had a press release to write and a couple more tweaks to perform on the classic ’48 Pan with the dual Mikunis. John Buttera of Lil’ John Products, a master designer and machinist, had visited the headquarters and demanded that I build him a Panhead desk. I planned to inventory the scruffy, broken and twisted parts bin for the mangled material to begin the project. That was Monday’s check list, which also included trading in my new Buell Thunderbolt. It has bulletproof touring hard bags and is fuel injected for the sportier Cyclone with carb, smaller fairing, low-end torque and black on black exterior. I immediately felt more comfortable on the model with the lower handlebars and narrower profile.
Unfortunately there was a sense of unrelenting urgency to the fleeting hours of the first day of the week. I was expecting the parts needed to perform three techs on a new H-D Deuce the following day, and she was delivering the bike just after the Titans tromped the Jaguars. I had also made arrangements to have the tech operation performed at the Harley-Davidson fleet center by the knowledgeable hands of Gene and Gene Jr.That’s when the week got crazy. Gene Jr. called and a movie shoot would take the two skilled professionals out in the field. I checked schedules, there was a trip to Nashville, a $5,000 photo shoot for Brenda later in the week and innumerable other commitments to be filled. It had to go down on Tuesday, but the parts still hadn’t arrived. At 10 a.m. Monday, with no products in hand and the fleet center closed on Tuesday, my plan was rapidly going to shit. What, me worry? First, Nuutboy and I, along with Wrench, swaying Snake and the affable Renegade, decided that we would undertake the project ourselves in the Bikernet garage. Of course Renegade got pissed and stormed out because I ran out of Jack. Snake went to the bar to reflect on the proposed physical labor and after the second six pack withdrew his offer of help. Wrench and Nuutboy scoffed at their timely retreat and stood fast, I thought. But where were the parts? We better get to the news:
PENTHOUSE COVERS STURGIS–I’m writing to announce that PENTHOUSE.COM’S coverage of the Sturgis2000 Races and Rally is now up and running at:www.penthouse.com/sturgis_journal/
BANDIT’S 1946 INDIAN FOR SALE–No, I don’t want to sell it, but a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. Not only will you receive my favorite Indian of all time, but several posters of the above image. That shot alone is worth $25,000. Quick, send me the cash –bandit@bikernet.com.
EXCELSIOR HENDERSON HITS DELAYS–E.H. Partners Inc., owner of the Excelsior-Henderson Motorcycle Manufacturing Company, announced Monday its plans for the business it acquired out of Chapter 11 in September. A two- month review of the business by new management and consultants indicates clearly that restructuring and relaunching the company will require more time than originally anticipated to execute a successful, high impact re-entry of the brand for the 2001 season.
Given that conclusion, management has decided to plan new model market entry for 2002. This will allow the company time to properly restaff the organization, re-establish its dealer network, perfect the design of its original market entry motorcycles and develop a broader line of motorcycles and accessories. At the appropriate time, E-H will return to market with the very best heavyweight motorcycle technology, backed by a complete and well-financed marketing plan.
SWEET DREAMS–Harley-Davidson Authorized Rentals Announces”I Dream of Harley” Contest Winners at www.hdrentals.com.
James White of Huntsville, Ala., hasbeen named grand prize winner of the “I Dream of Harley” contest sponsoredby Harley-Davidson Authorized Rentals. The contest marked the launch of thefirst-ever motorcycle rentals program backed by Harley-Davidson MotorCompany.
White’s essay was chosen out of more than 6,500 entries received frommotorcycling enthusiasts from across the country. As grand-prize winner,White will receive a complimentary seven-day rental from the Harley-DavidsonAuthorized Rentals location of his choice. The complimentary motorcyclingvacation also includes: lodging for the week, round trip airfare and $500 inspending money. Visit www.hdrentals.com to view White’s winning essay alongwith the entries of the six semi-finalists.The semi-finalists will receive complimentary Harley-Davidson AuthorizedRentals for up to three days.
*H.D. Sell, Northridge, Calif.
*John Bowers, Canton, Ohio
*Rob Tejeda, Miami Beach, Fla.
*Ernst Ulibarri, Albuquerque, N.M.
*Christopher Raymond, Mohrsville, Penn.
*Dave Tuttle, Mesa, Ariz.
COMING TO YOUR TOWN SOON–Transportation Appropriations conferees voted to include sanctions forstates that do not enact laws making .08 blood alcohol content the legallimit. Under the provision, states will have until fiscal year 2004 to enact .08 BACor lose 2 percent of their federal annual highway construction funds; in 2005they lose 4 percent; in 2006 they lose 6 percent; and in 2007 they lose 8 percent.States that adopt the standard by 2007 would be reimbursed for any withheldmoney.
The conference report must still be adopted by the full House andSenate, but once passed by Congress, the president is expected to sign thebill into law. The coalition worked throughout the year with the AdvocatesforHighway and Auto Safety to effect this life-saving outcome despite strongopposition from the alcohol and restaurant industries.
A FEDERAL APPEALS COURT HAS UPHELD– an Alabama law banning the sale ofartificial penises. The law was challenged last year by six women who eithersell sex aids or said they need them to get the job done. A U.S. Districtjudge agreed, saying it was “overly broad” and in violation of due processrights. But last week a three-judge 11th Circuit panel overturned theruling.They said the law, “is rationally related to the state’s legitimategovernmentinterest in public morality.” The penalty for selling or distributing rubberdicksin Alabama? Up to one year in jail and a $10,000 fine.
–Cowboy
AH, CHRISTMAS IS COMING–DON’T YA HATE IT?–But since we are obligated to spend our hard-earned coin on gifts for all 45,000 of our closest friends, I’m tired of buying them bike parts that don’t fit. There’s a sure-fire cure to that dilemma: You’ll to buy all your friends “Sam “Chopper” Orwell.” If that won’t do, check out the winter line-up from Whitehorse Press. Check the assortment at WhitehorsePress.com
EVERY MARRIED MAN KNOWS– Every married man knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other.
DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here’s $50.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t overdo today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe.
BIG APPLE BIKERNET BABE CORRESPONDENT–Sasha is headed for Biketoberfest to romp and stomp with the big dogs while reporting for Bikernet and Bikerlady.com, which is soon to be launched. If you see her there, tell her Bandit asked you to watch out for her. She’s a jewel.
VICTORY MOTORCYCLES NEW MODEL LINE-UP–An excited e-mail arrived from the heady Polaris headquarters: “Bandit, did you receive a press kit?”
“Nope.”
“Nope?”
“Nope.”
We’ll fix that,” the banter continued.
Less than an hour later, a gilded carriage pulled by massive Clydesdales halted in front of the headquarters. The team of horses snorted and whinnied after the trek from Minnesota to the coast. Armed cavaliers in leather jackets weilding razor-sharp sabors sliced the growling Bikernet mascot into a case of T-bone steaks and made their way to the weather-beaten front door with an engraved leather satchel. Renegade and Agent Zebra burst out the door with cocked .45s aimed at the two goateed drivers.
I stepped between my two trigger-happy lieutenants and retrieved the package. Without a word, we stepped back into the headquarters, bolted the rickety front door and raised the bridge from over the seething moat.
It’s one of the most impressive press packets I have encountered. Expanding their line-up to three models with an assortment of accessories is quite a feat for this fledgling company. We’ll highlight one model each week for the next three weeks.
BIKERNET’S BLUE-LIGHT PARTS SPECIALS–
5 S&S Shorty (E) series carbs with chrome air cleaners$200 each.
1 Yellow powder coated Kenny Boyce Pro Street Frame$400.
1 Delkron FXR 5 speed spline shaft transmission complete with pulley$1100.
1 4 Speed Harley transmission fits 1965-1984 Big Twin ( rebuilt)$1000.
1 Roadstar 16 inch spoke wheel in box$250.
3 Revtech 16×3 Front rally style billet wheel complete$300 each.
1 Sturgis 16×3 1/2 front Daytona style billet wheel complete$300.
1 Sturgis 16×3 1/2 front Mirage style billet wheel complete$300.
1 Sturgis 16×3 1/2 rear Mirage style billet wheel complete$300.
2 Sturgis 16×3 1/2 Rims only Mirage style billet wheel$150 each.
2 Sturgis 16×5 1/4 Rims only Rear Roadstar style billet wheel$200 each.
1 Roadstar billet belt pulley rear$300.
2 CCI 47-098 70 tooth rear pulley multi spoke$275 each.
5 Billet Aluminum inner primarys to fit FXR$500 each.
5 Billet Aliminum outer primary covers to fit FXR$500 each.
3 HD inner primarys to fit FXR$200 each.
1 HD outer primary cover to fit FXR$100.
10 Sets of 4140 Steel EVO connecting rods$50 set.
5 S&S Connecting rod sets part number 34-7010$150 each.
2 Spyke Starter jackshaft kits CCI 28-677 big twins 89-93$80 each.
5 New Harley Davidson factory wrinkle black starters 84 up EVO$125 each.
3 5 Speed Harley Davidson taper shaft diaphgram clutch assembly w/kevlarclutch plates $400 each.
7 Heavy Billet Aluminum 5 Speed transmission doors polished and beaings$150 each.
7 Jims pinion gears 24045-78 Green to 89$30 each.
3 Jims pinion gears 24043-78 Red to 89$30 each.
1 CCI 12-997 floorboards$25.
1 CCI 09-930 mini floorboards$75.
1 Sets CCI 15-298 Gas Tanks replaces HD 61211-84A & 61228-84$100 set.
3 Sets CCI 15-294 6 Gallon Gas Tanks HD FXST 1984-96 & custom frames$100 set.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve heads front, minor repair needed on some(guide,seat,threads) $75 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve heads rear, minor repair needed on some(guide,seat,threads) $75 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve front rocker boxes complete, need to be reshimed$175 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve rear rocker boxes complete, need to be reshimed$175 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve front rocker boxes$75 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve rear rocker boxes$75 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve front exhaust rocker arms$50 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve front intake rocker arms$50 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve rear intake rocker arms$50 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve rear exhaust rocker arms$50 each.
20 Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve rocker box covers$25 each.
10 Dual Carb Plenums for Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve heads$50 each.
20 Intake Plenum Runners for Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve heads$25 each.
100 Feuling-Quantum intake valves$7 each.
100 Feuling-Quantum exhaust valves$6 each.
100 Feuling-Quantum rocker shafts$8 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4 Valve Front Rocker Boxes for Sportster or 4Cam V-Twin$200 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4 Valve Rear Rocker Boxes for Sportster or 4 Cam V-Twin$200 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4 Valve Front exhaust rocker arms for Sportster or 4 CamV-Twin $150 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4 Valve Front intake rocker arms for Sportster or 4 CamV-Twin $150 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4 Valve Rear intake rocker arms for Sportster or 4 Cam V-twin$150 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4 Valve Rear exhaust rocker arms for Sportster or 4 CamV-Twin $150 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4 Valve Plenun chambers for Sportster or 4 Cam V-Twin$100 each.
2 Black powdercoated oil tanks for Kenny Boyce frames$100 each.
1 White powdercoated oil tank for Kenny Boyce frames$100.
1 Chrome oil tank for Kenny Boyce frame$150.
10 Sets of Billet fender struts to fit Boyce frames$100 set.
10 Front Ofset motor mount black powdercoat Boyce frames$25 each.
10 Front Ofset motor mount Chrome KB 01-301 Boyce frames$30 each.
10 Petcocks CCI 25-253 & Chrome Spec. 260366$10 each.
10 Petcocks CCI 27050 Accel$30 each.
10 Barnett idle cables 96 up HD$8 each.
10 Barnett throttle cables 96 up HD$8 each.
20 Steel motormount stablizer (turnbuckle complete) rubber mount 5 speeds$40 each.
Other Stuff like fenders,seats,handlebars,stainless lines and cables to belisted later as I am still sorting parts–Rogue, BIKERROGUE@email.msn.com
CYRIL HUZE’S NEW CATALOG IS OUT– Cyril Huze absolutely customs is rapidly becoming one of the world’s premier bike builders. If you’re looking for a style with the craze of Lear Jet or the art deco look of the ’30s you need to see the bikes and the component Cyril is responsible for. Check www.cyrilhuze.com, you’ll be blown away.
THE BUELL REPORT–Hey,read the news about H-D on your Website. Will be in Daytona next weekend for the Buell Lighting Series race. Helping pit for my buddy from Thunder Mountain H-D in Colorado. Will be pulling in late Saturday night and be at the track early Sunday morning.
You should check the race out. Lots of good engine builders there.Don Tilley will be testing and Henry Duga from Buell will be there. Henry is Buell’s race liaison. Might give you some ideas for your Buell project.– Paul
PS. Buell’s are the untapped chopper’s of the new millennium.
I will be interviewing Don Tilley for “Hot Rod Bike” if I can catch up with him. I’ll quiz him about Buell performance mods.–Bandit
TATTOO EDITOR GETTING MARRIED–Billy Tinny is getting married to Tammy Robinson (she says finally) on Dec. 4 on the beach at St. Thomas in the U.S. Virgin Islands. See you there…
BIKERNET CANADIAN CORESPONDENT-EH!–I am attending a course to certify as a three wheeler instructor. My wife Rosalie and I had a wreck back in ’97 on the bridge between Portland, Ore., and Vancouver, Wash., and she could not get around too well after that, so I started riding hack to keep her interested in the sport. Well there was no one in my neighborhood to give me any pointers so I went out and scared the shit out of myself until I had a conversation with Trev Deeley one day. He gave me a couple of pointers to help, thank you very much.So I figured if I got certified I may be able to lend a hand to others in the same boat.
The Trev Deely Motorcycle Museum is going through a make over and should be about finished.
Here’s the dope on the instructors course:
I am pleased to announce that arrangements for the second S/TEPInstructor Prep course for this year have been finally set.
If you have anyone in your program, or know of anyone interested ingetting certified as a Sidecar/Trike Instructor they need to get registeredfor this IP as soon as possible.
The IP will be held in Kankakee, Ill., from Oct. 18 – 22. S/TEP Chief Instructor Vic Hari will be doing this IP. He isblocking off a group of rooms in a local hotel for the class. As soon as Iknow exactly which hotel it will be I will post the information on ourWebsite www.esc.org/sidecar.html.
Cost of the course is $275 per instructor candidate, and does notinclude hotel or meals. Sidecar experience is not required. MSFcertification is not required but is helpful. Registrations can be taken byphone at Evergreen Safety Council with credit card payment. Call (800) 521-0778 and ask for Tina.
The course will be two days of how to teach the curriculum, one day ofrange evaluation and management, and the last two days instructor candidateswill perform student teaching during an actual novice S/TEP class.Certification is good for three years. Rectification can be accomplishedby teaching three classes in a three-year period.
Dave
Program Manager
Evergreen Motorcycle Safety Training
www.esc.org/cycle.html
Sidecar/Trike Education Program
www.esc.org/sidecar.html
(800) 521-0778 — office
(360) 434-5221 — cell
That’s it from the great north–Gypsy Dan
ONE SUNDAY MORNING– William burst into the living room and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.
After dinner, William’s dad took him aside. “Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years.. She’s a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half- sister, and I’m afraid you can’t marry her.”
William was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, “Dianne said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. “Dianne is your half-sister too, William. I’m awfully sorry about this.”
William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news. “Dad has done so much harm.. I guess I’m never going to get married,” he complained. “Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister.”
His mother just shook her head. “Don’t pay any attention to what he says, dear. He’s not really your father!”
ULTRA MOTORCYCLES HIT THE SKIDS–Seems the bedraggled clone has been de-listed on the stock exchange. That means that the NASDAQ has quit posting it for poor performance, although their stock last registered higher than Easyriders.
What this means to the company’s future is yet to be determined. De-listing is only a factor of stock pricing and all stocks are currently down. The company is still clickin’ and tickin’ away.
A PROFESSOR OF MATHEMATICS SENT A FAX TO HIS WIFE– A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife: Dear Wife: You must realize that you are 54-years-old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I’ll be home before midnight. — Your Husband
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband: You, too, are 54-years-old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Don’t wait up.
RACING ALERT–THE WORLD FINALS HAVE BEEN CANCELED DUE TO POOR WEATHER AND COURSECONDITIONS.
BNI CHAIRMAN MIKE COOK REGRETS THE CANCELLATION AND INVITES ALL RACERSTO THE FINAL SCTA LAND SPEED RACING EVENT AT EL MIRAGE NOV. 18-19.–“LandSpeed” Louise Ann Noeth
JOHN BAKER NAMED DIRECTOR OF RACING AT HARLEY-DAVIDSON– John Baker has been named Directorof Racing, assuming full responsibility for the Harley-Davidson VR 1000Superbike effort. In this newly created position, he will oversee and directthe development of the VR 1000, and have responsibility for the Superbiketeam and riders, as well as program partners, sponsors and privateer anddealer race programs.
“Over the past 90 years, winning on the race track has been animportant part of Harley-Davidson’s heritage,” said Vice President MarketingJoanne Bischmann. “We are committed to continuing that racing tradition.”
Baker, 32, has been involved with Harley-Davidson Motor Company’sEngineering and Business Planning groups since 1993. Most recently, he wasinstrumental in the development of Harley-Davidson’s long-range strategicbusiness plan. Prior to that, Baker played a key role in managing the launchand limited production run of the 1994 VR 1000 Superbike. He also held theposition of Platform Manager for the recently introduced Buell Blastmid-size motorcycle. Baker has extensive experience leadingHarley-Davidson’s external suppliers and consultants in various engineprograms and brings additional manufacturing experience from his previousemployment at Cummins Engine Company.
SEWING ON A BUTTON– Angus Broon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the house exclaiming”Maggie, cud ya be sewin on a wee button that’s come off of me fly. Icanny button me pants. “
“Oh Angus…I’ve got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and seeif Mrs. Mac Donald could be helpin ya with it”
About 5 minutes later there’s a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yellingand the sound of a body falling doon the stairs.Walking back in the door with a blackend eye and a bloody nose comesAngus. The little lady looks at him and says “My god, what in hells namehappened to you?Did you ask her like I told you?”
“Aye” says Angus..”I asked her to sew on the wee button an shedid, everything was goin fine but when she bent doon to bite off thewee thread…Mr. MacDonald walked in…
WORK-OUT WINNERS–Seems if you have a Gold’s Gym nearby you have a chance to win a new Harley. In conjunction with the 35th anniversary of the line of Gyms, Harley-Davidson has offered to support their celebration: The promotion runs from Sept. 1 through Oct. 19 –fuck that’s today. Better hurry
BIKERNET PHOTO CONTEST–Send us flicks of anything bike oriented and if we decide to run it in our new “Roadworthy Photos” section, you’ll receive a valuable prize from Bikernet or Belt Drives Limited. Could be a ballcap, T-shirt, signed book, etc. Send them to me, quick, but don’t forget to include your address: Bandit@bikernet.com or to Bikernet, P.O. Box 1168, San Pedro, Calif. 90733-1168.And while I’m at it, here’s an exploded view of the tough Belt Drives Limited clutch. This exposed belt drive system is the choice of many custom builders including Jesse James and myself. They’re a breeze to set up and work like they’re supposed to.
THEREIN LIES THE BEAUTY OF THE TWO-WHEELED MACHINE–ALWAYS A FRONT-ROW SEAT TO A GAME THAT WILL NEVER BE PLAYED TWICE–That’s a quote from Agent Zebra’s Sturgis saga now playing on Bikernet. Check it out. It’s one helluva story, and he, if I don’t say so myself, is one helluva writer.On the other hand, the obnoxious bastard isn’t worth the powder to blow him to hell, but he’s my brother.
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Hey guys, Biketoberfest has not officially started. Look like ladyluck is not smiling. My girlfriend’s Sportster chopper motor was lostsomewhere in the shipping universe, that left one day to put it in and hookit up, muchos problemas for me. Nothing worse than the wrath of a woman.
The bikes and trailer are waiting for us in Jacksonville, maybe we cansqueeze a couple more hours in The Doll House before hitting the mega overpriced hotel in Daytona fuckin’ Beach. My head mechanic has been MIA forthe past two days, maybe he’s in a love fest, or something…Customers areringing my cell phone of the cradle bitchin’ like I’m doing now, aboutirrelevant stuff. Oh well, cest la vie like the froggy’s say….
The only news I have for you this week is the final opening of the newCaribbean Custom Cycles showroom in San Juan, it’s at 801 Fernandez JuncosAve, Miramar, San Juan PR, phone number 787-727-0633, if you are visitingthe island please roll by and say hi. There will be a bike show the firstSaturday of every month, will post the cool bikes here, I promise.Also promise to report the action from Biketoberfest and even somephotos. — Jose
MOTORCYCLISTS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY– are angry and disappointed about thenegativelink U.S. Sen. Charles Robb (D-VA) is making between guns, criminalactivityand motorcyclists.
A disappointing campaign advertisement, aired by the Virginia DemocraticCoordinated Campaign attacks Virginia Gov. George Allen’s (Robb’sopponentin a U.S. Senate race) position on gun control. The ad depicts the Governorconversing with a motorcyclist dressed in a black leather vest adorned withaHarley-Davidson patch, while a voice over talks about the use of assaultweaponsin the state of Virginia.The American Motorcyclist Association (AMA), the Motorcycle RidersFoundationand other concerned motorcycling organizations have reacted strongly statingthat motorcyclists are no more likely to commit a crime, with or without agun,than any other member of the community.
After initial conversations with Sen. Robb’s campaign staff expressed awillingness to “pixel out” the Harley-Davidson logo. While this tokenremedialtactic may prevent a suit by Harley-Davidson, it by no means excuses himfromculpability in the implication that motorcyclists are a dangerous element.
Sen. Robb’s insistence upon the inclusion of a motorcyclist in his adshows areckless disregard for a large segment of the electorate in his home state,andthe AMA has demanded that he alter the commercial so it no longer uses amotorcyclist to make his points on gun control or any other issue.
For more info contact: Edward Moreland, AMA Washington rep at (202) 682-4750 or atedmoreland.ama@erols.com
I GOTTA BAIL–Speaking of bail, a friend of mine just pled guilty to a tough charge. His wife has a Website to support him, and keep him busy for the next four to eight years. When you have a chance, go to freerusty.com and drop him a line.
Remember the rigid I rode to Sturgis? Well as you know, it didn’t make it back alive. The busted tank had to be replaced and while roaming vendor booths in the Badlands I ran across Paul Yaffe and next to him, the man who makes the tanks for the his custom creations Independant Tank Co. If you haven’t read the Bikernet West Sturgis Saga, check it out.
This is a shot of the original Sportster tank that I mounted. That was the problem in a ball-sack. I mounted it and it went all to hell on the road. So Paul mounted the new sleek Independant job and shipped it back to Harold Pontarelli for repaint. I should have it back on the road for the Love Ride, which is just around the corner.
TODAY’S QUOTE–“The teacher, if indeed wise, does not bid you enter the house of hiswisdom, but leads you to the threshold of your own mind.”
THIS TIME I’M REALLY GONE–Back to terrible Tuesday. Monday afternoon the UPS driver rolled up with a set of rip-saw pipes for the lovely Brenda’s new 2000 Deuce, but I was still lacking the Holly carb kit and the lower shocks. Tuesday morning exploded with my new workout routine and a lot of pacing the hardwood deck. Would the parts arrive? Could we handle the job without the experts? The kick-off time with our dependable photog Markus Cuff was scheduled for 10 a.m. to 11 a.m., allowing valuable time for the constant L.A. traffic jams. At 10, the UPS man rolled to a stop outside, hesitated, then put on his blinkers. The parts had arrived. Then the phone rang. Nuutboy, who doubles as a college professor, was called to grade mid-term papers. The heat was on. 
Brenda, who was going to model the new Bikernet T-shirt and double as our blissful cheerleader, started throwing up and was delayed. Sarah, the haunting 21-year-old who darts in and out of my life like a strange whirlwind, showed up at the door. She had been evicted and she was desperate. It was 10:15 and she was standing about the shark-infested moat blabbering faster than wind chimes in a thunder storm, dressed in fuck-me pumps, a black ankle-length skirt that was slit to her slit, and a blood red skin-tight top. What the fuck was she thinking’? Layla was due to show up and snarl at Brenda. The day was turning dicey. What if Sinwu arrived early?
I ducked into the garage with Markus and pretended to be busier than piss-ants trying to escape a Raid can. I kept my head low and went to work. By the time Marcus shot each component, it was noon and I was just beginning to jack up the Softail to remove the shocks.
Believe it or not, by 9 p.m. Markus and I were sitting on the edge of the harbor at the rowdy Mexican joint sipping’ margaritas. The shocks were in place and the bike was a solid inch lower in the rear for short-legged Brenda. The Samson exhaust fit like a dream, and the Holly carb project went together flawlessly. The girls, well they’re all now mad at me except Sinwu, who floated into the garage in time to miss the cat-fight and bring us fish tacos from the harbor. Another day in paradise. Let’s ride–Bandit
