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THE TRUTH ABOUT AB EXERCISES– A little boy walks into his parents bed room to find his mother ontop of his father riding him. The mother sees her little son and gets of her husband as her son leaves the bedroom. The mother, concerned aboutwhat her son had seen, gets dressed and finds her son in his bedroom.
The son asked his mom, “what were you doing to daddy.”
The mom replies, “do you know that daddy has a big tummy”?
The boy says, “yes, he does have a big tummy.”
Mom says, “Well I have to get on daddy’s tummy and flattenit so it doesn’t stick out that much.” The boy says, “You shouldn’t do it anymore because it won’t work.”
The perplexed mother asks, “how come?”
The boy says to his mother, “because when you go outshopping, the lady across the street gets on her knees and blows daddies stomach back up.
–from Chris T.
Lady Layla, my mug and Bikernet fiction writer Buckshot at the JIMS Vegas drags.
BIKERNET LITERARY DEPARTMENT–C.L. Cake or “Buckshot” has become a recent contributor to the Bikernet through his horrifying fiction tales. This biker is also a successful novelist, and we just put his book up on the site in the Amazon bookstore. Check it out.
SOMETHING ABOUT GUNS– Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the otherday and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you got to love this!!!!
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing,archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised onthe rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them properrifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you’re equipping them to become violentkillers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended!
–from Robert T.
BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP GUIDELINES–? An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”?
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says.”We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “They’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares… Now what do we do for Christmas?”
–from Gene Koch
Randy Borho lifts both wheels off the ground – frequently – and he doesn’t really mean to! This is a Street Pro bike which means it can technically be ridden on the street.
HELEN WOLFE RETIRES FROM DRAG RACING–Rumor has it that Helen who has attended the entire series of all-Harley Drag Racing for the last several years and was the Bikernet Drag Racing Correspondent, may be hanging up her pit pass. She will continue to shoot for Bikernet is several areas, but she needed to find an area of the industry more supportive of her talents.
She’ll be sorely missed at the track, but support for the drag racing coverage has not been forthcoming and we all have to make a living. Stay tuned to see what happens next.
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VENTURA CHAPTER REPORT–A Ventura County judge this week ordered the 25-year-old son of Hells Angels leader George Christie Jr. to remain held in lieu of $1-million bail pending trial on drug sales charges.The ruling came in response to an Oct. 15 state appellate court decision that found the trial court had failed to give specific reasons when setting bail for George Christie III.Christie, who has been jailed for nearly eight months, is charged in a broad drug-and-racketeering case involving alleged drug sales to minors by members of the Ventura chapter of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club. Although Christie has no criminal record, bail was set 10 times higher than the standard bail schedule.
In its opinion, the 2nd District Court of Appeal in Ventura concluded judges must explicitly state their grounds when setting such high bail.In Christie’s case, the appellate court did not recommend a bond amount but sent the matter back to Ventura County Superior Court Judge Art Gutierrez for a rehearing.
That proceeding was held Oct. 19, and Gutierrez issued a written opinion on Tuesday ordering Christie’s bail to remain at $1 million.Gutierrez said his decision was based on information contained in grand jury transcripts and declarations of law enforcement officials.”The court finds the defendant is vice-president of a sophisticated organized criminal street gang commonly called the Hells Angels, and that he is part of a conspiracy to sell drugs to minors,” the judge wrote.
“In fact,” he continued, “he personally furnished drugs to minors at weekly barbecues or parties.”
17th ANNUAL MEETING OF THE MINDS– Patriotism was exemplified by 318 state motorcyclist rights organization members and activists at the 17th Annual Meeting of the Minds barely two weeks after the devastating attacks in New York City and Washington, DC.
The entire report of meetings and the obstacles to motorcycling freedom currently are published in the Bikernet Bikers’ Rights department. Check it out.
WAR SOLUTION–Are you ready to fight for your country? Scary thought!Take all Western women who are within five years of menopause – train usfor a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna .
Drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, andlet us do what comes naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stufflike grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make evenarmed men in turbans tremble.
We’ve had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them andtheir future. We’d like to get away from our husbands, if they haven’t leftalready. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a goodman with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning.We have nothing to lose.
We’ve survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, andthe grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across the west and never lost apound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistanwith no food at all!
We’ve spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardwarestores, or sporting events…finding bin Laden in some cave will be noproblem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh,please … we’ve planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extendedfamilies at Christmas dinners for years … we understand tribal warfare.
Between us, we’ve divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is forhow they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We knowhow to find that money and we know how to seize it… with or without thegovernment’s help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as wecrawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
–Chris Wright
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