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GUN NUT SPECIAL REPORT–SELF DEFENSE

By Bandit | May 31, 2024

Recently, one of my best friends called to ask if I would help him choose a defensive handgun. Now, we’ve been friends for years, and more than once I have brought up the topic of defensive firearms to no avail. He had no interest in owning a gun. So, needless to say, I was surprised to get this call.

Like many non-shooters, who suddenly decide to join the shooting community, he experienced what can be called a “triggering event.” Whether it’s a crime report on the news, an attempted crime against a friend or them personally, a triggering event nudges folks off of the fence and into the decision to become armed citizens. In my friend’s case, a family member in another town was protected from harm by two neighbors who were in the right place, at the right time, with their guns.

Realizing that he could have done nothing to help in a similar situation, my friend started researching defensive handguns. Since he’s Internet savvy, he had gone out and found miles of commentary and firearm specifications on the Web. However, the sheer volume of makes, models, options and contradicting opinions left him feeling completely overwhelmed. In this situation, it certainly makes sense to turn to someone familiar with firearms for advice.

As we talked, another point became clear. My friend’s desire to find a reliable defensive tool is not the same as a newfound love of shooting. He doesn’t want to become a shooting hobbyist, a collector, a hunter or to participate in a variety of shooting sports. He wants just one gun that he can learn to operate successfully and depend on in case he needs to defend his family and home.

So, how do you help a friend or associate pick just one gun from all of the models currently on the market? The best way to start is to narrow the list of infinite possibilities down to a short list of options, and then narrow the short list down to a few models your friend can try. Over the years, I’ve put together some mental checklists I like to review with new shooters to help them come to a decision. If they are new to shooting, want just one gun and the gun is primarily for self-defense, then the checklist looks something like this:

Rifle, Shotgun or Handgun?

The first question may not be which handgun to buy. Defensive shotguns and rifles offer much more stopping power than handguns. Their length, weight and configuration can make them easier to learn to shoot as well, and many pump-action shotguns cost significantly less than a quality handgun. Defensive rifles often cost more than a handgun, but they offer more flexibility since they can also be used for hunting and long-range target shooting if the person later decides to expand his or her shooting activities. If your friend has little or no shooting experience, this may be the time to plan a trip to the range to give him or her an opportunity to test fire all three types of guns.

House, Car, Concealed Carry or Mixed Purpose?

Identifying where a defensive handgun is going to be located for most of its working life can help to determine which one will be the best fit. For example, if a pistol will be used primarily for home defense and will spend most of its life stored in a lockbox in the master bedroom, size and weight are not much of a concern. This is also true for a gun that will spend most of its time stored in a vehicle. For both of these uses, a full-size duty handgun with good sights and a full-length grip will do nicely. It will also provide the best ammunition capacity and be more comfortable to practice with.

If the gun will be used primarily for legal concealed carry, then size and weight become factors. Many self-defense gurus and folks who carry are committed to making the lifestyle and wardrobe changes necessary to carry a full-size lead sled. But that’s not the case for everyone. Most of the non-military and non-law enforcement types I know who choose to go armed use compact, lightweight handguns designed specifically for concealment. These pistols are much easier to carry, but often sacrifice caliber, ammunition capacity and other features that make pistols more pleasant to practice with.

If your friend wants just one gun to fill the roles of target shooting, home defense and concealed carry, then you may want to encourage them to research handguns that split the difference between duty size and concealment guns. These medium-framed handguns are chambered in popular defensive calibers, but have a smaller profile. They are large enough to shoot comfortably, but trimmed down to be more easily concealed. Most manufacturers have at least a few models that fit into this category.

Cylinder or Slide?

The current popularity of high-capacity, semi-automatic pistols have some shooters thinking that double-action revolvers are obsolete. However, the comparison of semi-autos versus revolvers has always been a discussion of apples and oranges. Both designs are useful for self-defense, but for different reasons. Semi-autos usually offer a higher ammunition capacity, but revolvers are simpler to operate. Semi-autos offer faster reloading times, but revolvers are far less ammo sensitive. The most important thing is to help your friend weigh the features that double-action revolvers and semi-automatics offer against their specific needs.

Caliber

Readers may be surprised that I wait to discuss caliber options until this point in the conversation, but I have a good reason for doing so. If someone is new to shooting, then trying to talk through the technical aspects of pistol calibers, ballistics and bullet styles will often leave a person dazed and confused. By discussing the handgun’s purpose and action type first, then the choice of caliber is already narrowed down to a manageable few.

From Checklist to Shopping List

Purchasing a gun can be an expensive proposition. A new shooter who has made it this far is usually ready to make the financial commitment, but they may not be aware of all the items, procedures and costs involved in owning a firearm. After the defensive pistol itself, their shopping list and budget should include:

A lockable storage device (strong box, safe, locking case, etc.)
Permits or licensing fees, if required
Cleaning supplies
Holster(s)
Additional magazines or speed loaders
Practice-grade ammunition
Defense-grade ammunition
Gun range fees
Education (classes, books, etc.)

As a general rule of thumb, I advise new shooters to decide how much they want to spend on the pistol, and then double that amount to cover the cost of everything else they will need. The item they absolutely must have on hand the day they bring their gun home is a lockable storage device. After that, other items on the list can be put on a purchasing schedule to fit their budget.

Just One More

I like to point out to budget-conscious one-gunners that they can curb shooting costs and maximize range time by purchasing a second handgun chambered in .22 LR. This suggestion seems counter intuitive until we talk about ammunition costs. For about the same price as 50 rounds of a popular defensive pistol caliber, shooters can usually buy upwards of 500 rounds of .22.

Several manufacturers build pistols designed to mimic the grip shape and controls of a defensive handgun. A .22 is a great way to warm up at the range before running defensive drills and focused practice to overcome a bad habit or to learn a new skill is much more affordable to conduct. I have also found that even the most reluctant spouse is usually willing to practice with a .22. If a new shooter is ready to commit to regular practice at the range, then a .22 will quickly pay for itself and will keep saving him or her money for years to come.

Meaningful Research and Testing

By now the infinite list of possibilities should be narrowed down to that short list I mentioned before. My friend’s short list included duty-size, polymer-frame semi-autos in popular self-defense chamberings that accepted high-capacity, double-stack magazines within a specified price range. With this information in hand, I was able to make his Internet research much more meaningful.

I pointed him directly to a handful of pistols that matched his short list and price range, such as the Glock 17, Ruger SR9, Smith & Wesson M&P and Springfield XD. And, with these criteria clearly defined, he can also look up models I may not have included. When he identifies a couple models he wants to test fire, then it will be time for us to head to a range that provides rental guns and let him try the pistols for himself.

By Bandit | May 31, 2024

The book starts with the small town intrigue about motorcycle clubs riding through. Blowing in the wind is the addictive passion for a free living high rolling culture of bikers. A kid named Frenchie grows up enamoured of the two wheeled monsters. He joins the Navy too in times of national need. Honorably discharged he looks for more adventure back home in America.

In his travels he meets up with an outlaw MC called Lucifer’s Sword. And now the action and drama lights up the pages of this beautifully illustrated graphic novel. My favourite scenes were the moonlit night when Frenchie is on watch and Dirt gets knifed. Other equally engaging pages unfold in a gripping narrative in this fast paced thriller.

The women are pretty, the bikes look mean, the riders are tough and this book is a dream come true for those who miss graphic illustrations and wild road tales from days of yore. It is definitely a collectible item. Wish I could get it signed from the man who lived these moments.

Ujjwal Dey is Editor of FreedomFiction magazine and long time tenured reporter for Bikernet magazine.

By Bandit | May 31, 2024

Editor’s note: The following story is from the book, “The Further Adventures of The Borderland Biker, In Memory of Indian Larry and Doo Wop Music,” by Derrel Whitemeyer.

For Chapter 16 Click Here

“Roll with the mystery, life’s uncertain; just be comfortable with that. Why fight it?”

Indian Larry

“Hilts, we need you sober…NOW!” The sound of new activity outside wasn’t lost in Larry’s shout of urgency.

“Maybe,” I interjected, “he can somehow conjure himself sober?”

“Can’t conjure when I’m drunk;” slurred a still under the influence Hilts, “besides I’ve never tried it outside of the Borderlands.”

In the meantime Larry had done more than express his need of a sober Hilts; he’d poured almost a quart of Elisa’s potent coffee into an old pot and what was left of the whisky onto the wood inside the stove. He then placed the pot on top of the stove and tossed in a lit match. With a woof and a flash followed by flames, smoke began flowing out the sides of the bullet riddled stove as well as up its metal pipe chimney. The stove was heating the coffee but also venting smoke out the bullet holes, which was thankfully venting out the hole in the shed’s roof where the ladder led to the water tank.

Speaking of new activity, a new voice from beyond the door shouted in at us, “If you boys burn that place down you’d better hope you die in the flames. Douse the fire, come out and we’ll let you go on your way…no harm no foul.”

“Randy, is that you;” yelled back Larry, “you callin’ the shots now?

“Damn right, I’m callin’ the shots.”

Randy’s answer to Larry’s question was followed by a long silence, followed by three quick shots fired through the wall above our heads, followed by more shots, thankfully into the air, “…damn right, I’m callin’ the shots.”

“It’s warm enough,” said Larry turning to me at the same time he reached for the pot of coffee then offered it to Hilts. “Drink as much of it as you can.”

Hilts grabbed the pot from Larry’s hands, tilted it up and started drinking.

“Nine millimeter auto by the sound and quickness of the shots,” said Hilts between gulps and at the same pointing at the three evenly spaced holes clustered in the wall.

“Less talking and more drinking,” interrupted Larry, “we need you sober whether you can conjure or not.”

In the back of my mind was the fact Larry and I really didn’t know what effect Elisa’s coffee would have on Hilts. My hope was it would sober him up enough so he could become the quintessential ‘gunfighter’ that had protected us from the Cyclops.

“It’s working,” I said.

“But with side effects;” added Larry, “look at his face.” Hilts was still Hilts but changing…taller, more raw-boned,

to the point of being gaunt, almost skeletal.

“Listen, I don’t have much time,” said Hilts. “No matter what Randy said, they’re not going to let any of us out of here alive. They’ve gathered together in a bunch from the sound of their voices just to the left of the door. Their plan is to shoot us when we come out. What they’re not planning on is…”

By now there was no doubt Hilts was changing shape whether consciously or because of Elisa’s coffee.

“Leave,” continued Hilts, “as soon as I leave; under no circumstances wait for me. Ride south to the first farm field with a split rail fence. Turn right and follow the road that follows the fence line. You’re not that far from the crossover. When you get to the end of the fence you’ll have crossed into the Borderlands. You’ll recognize it by the produce stand. You’ll be tempted to stop…don’t.

“Once you’re past the produce stand you’ll intersect with a two lane road. Turn right, follow it towards the mountains. In about an hour you’ll come to a café called Spanky’s; the owner’s expecting you. …can’t talk anymore, gotta take care of… our… friends outside…DO NOT wait for me.”

“Spanky’s? I’ve been to a cafe called Spanky’s. It also was at the foot of the mountains. It’s too much of a coincidence;” said Larry, “it sounds like the same place.”

Instead of answering, Hilts, now unrecognizable, whirled around, ripped the shed door off its hinges and charged out into the darkness…screams followed…then silence.

“Did you see his forearms and hands,” yelled Larry, “they were huge. The rest of him looked skeletal but his forearms and hands were huge. Let’s get the Warrior outside; you get the Raider and then let’s both get outta here.”

“What about, Hilts.”

“Whatever that was, that wasn’t the Hilts we know. I’ve never seen anything move that fast and I don’t want to be here when it comes back.”

We then proceeded to push the Road Warrior outside the shed. While I ran around to get the Raider, Larry climbed back up inside the water tank. When I returned he was standing beside the Warrior holding two Glock semiautomatics, three boxes of ammunition and the Ruger Redhawk revolver.

“The ammo was in the ceiling of the shed. I never thought to look there and wouldn’t have except for the hole. Hilts, or whatever Hilts has become tore a hole in the ceiling when he ripped off the shed’s door. The ammo was in plain sight. We’ll leave the Ruger and a box of ammo for it on the seat of the Road Warrior. When Hilts returns to normal he’ll need both. He’ll need the Ruger for protection. He’ll also need a way to get back to the Borderlands, so we’ll leave him the Road Warrior. We can double up on the Raider again.

A shout came from the darkness, “I thought I told you two to leave!”…had us aboard the Raider and hurriedly riding away. A quick glance behind me had me wishing I hadn’t. A very tall version of Hilts, with forearms and hands that would’ve made Popeye proud was hurling what looked like a small tree limb at us. It was a limb, but not of a tree. Bouncing beside us and on up the road was an arm with most of a shirt still attached. Larry slowed enough so we could look at it. The patch on back of the shirt read, “R&R Electric-no job too small.” The front pocket had RANDY stitched across the top.

“I guess he really meant,” said Larry as he accelerated back up to speed, “for us to leave as soon as he went outside. Remind me in the future to follow his instructions…oh, and to only give him decaf.”

We continued to ride south on the Raider; two miles later we came to the farm field with the split rail fence. We turned right and proceeded to follow the road that followed the fence line for over a mile before coming to the produce stand. We were back in the Borderlands.

“We’re back in the Borderland,” said Larry. “I can feel the change.”

“There’s the produce stand,” I said, pointing at a small roadside stand that still had its ‘OPEN’ sign out.

“The fruit looks tempting but I’m not stopping. The last time we didn’t follow Hilts’ directions he nearly hit us with…”

“I hear you…let’s get going.”

The narrow farm road continued on past the produce stand for another two miles before intersecting with a well paved two lane road. After a right turn onto the two lane road we were soon up to speed; a happy change of pace from just puttin’ along in the lower gears. It was still night; however with the help of a full moon and a near cloudless sky the surrounding land was visible. Houses and buildings showed no lights and looked abandoned and except for a few rusting cars and trucks parked alongside the road we saw no other vehicles.

Since leaving the water tank Larry and I had been communicating with each other by our ear radios. When not communicating we were able to listen to a strong growing stronger ‘Oldies Station’…the music becoming clearer the closer we got to the mountains in the distance.

Orchards had miles ago turned into grazing land bordered by split rail fences just as the flatland had miles ago changed into rolling foothills. At the crest of our last foothill Spanky’s Café could be seen in the distance.

“It looks like the same Spanky’s Café,” Larry said after coming to a stop, “I visited long ago; but different.”

“In what way,” I asked?

“I rode in from another direction,” Larry answered, “and there were more abandoned vehicles. Back then traveling at nighttime was to be avoided.”

[page break]

Dawn was an hour away when we turned into the driveway in front of Spanky’s. Parking for maybe fifteen cars bordered the café; wooden steps led up to its door. It was open and framing a tall women.

“Been expecting you two; Hilts said two of his friends would be coming and that he’d vouch for them. Come in; sit by the fire while I warm up some stew. Hilts said you might be getting a late start. Why isn’t he with you?”

“Kate,” said Larry after he parked the Raider and was walking towards the café, “don’t you recognize me?”

“Name’s Kate, but I don’t recognize either of you.”

Larry didn’t pursue the matter and motioned for me to stay out of it.

“My mistake; for a moment you looked like someone I met some time ago. Her name was also Kate…didn’t mean to upset you. Oh, and Hilts had some business; he’ll come later.”

“No harm, no foul…what are your names?”

“Name’s Larry,” said Larry before I could answer. “He’s my friend Jax. Can we help with anything?”

“Got it covered,” said Kate, a tall blond, her hair turning to a salt n’ pepper gray. She looked to be in her forties, the model for a Frederick Remington painting of a pioneer woman.

After being seated in a pair of soft leather chairs in front of a warm fireplace and then eating some vegetable stew Larry and I fell into an exhausted sleep. We awakened still in the chairs near noon of the next day. Kate was quietly sitting in another chair just off to our side. My guess was she hadn’t left us and that there was more than her folded hands under the raggedy wool blanket that was covering her lap.

“I’d appreciate you two keeping your hands where I can see them, making no sudden moves and staying in your chairs until we get to know one another a little better. Coffee’s going to take a bit more time anyway.”

“Coffee sounds good,” I said, while making a point of stretching very slowly at the same time keeping my hands in full view.

Larry also made a point of stretching so slowly I thought he was doing Tai Chi, “Coffee can never be rushed and besides it’ll take me time to get the kinks out.”

“We’re getting to know one another and that’s good,” Kate said, at the same time she stood up to the whistle of boiling water, “and I wish the coffee were fresh. I’m using yesterday’s grounds and haven’t blended any more.”

“Where are you getting your power from,” asked Larry, “all the electric lines are down? We haven’t seen anything showing the use of electricity for the last seventy miles.”

Kate was deliberate in her answer, “I installed solar panels about three years ago. They cover both sides of the roof and provide all the power I need.”

When the porcelain pot behind the counter whistled Kate was equally deliberate in her walk across the floor to take it off the burner. She was just as deliberate about holding something next to her and on the side away from us. It wasn’t until she turned the corner at the end of the counter that she laid what she’d been holding on top. It was a Colt 45 model 1911 Army.

“Your bags were on the couch in the corner, so last night while you boys slept I went through them. Interestingly neither one of you has any identification.”

“Before you shoot us at least hear what we’ve got to say,” I’d gotten up from the chair, careful so as to keep my hands in sight, and walked to the end of the counter opposite the end where Kate was standing.

It took awhile but I told her everything that had happened up to leaving Hilts at the water tank. I left out the part where Hilts threw Randy’s arm at us to hurry us on our away.

“Are you armed;” Kate’s eyes were focused on me, “I found a box of ammo in each of your bags?”

“My pistol’s behind my back,” I said being careful to keep my hands on the counter, “tucked in my belt.”

“And mine’s in my hand but is going back behind my back,” said Larry as he tucked the recently drawn Glock behind him.

Before anyone could speak I countered, “Hey, what do you say we all lighten up. I figure if we were going to shoot each other we would’ve done it by now.”

Larry had already tucked his gun away, gotten up and had walked over to where Kate was standing, “Got any sugar to go with that coffee?”

Kate, seemingly satisfied with our answers, put the Colt behind the counter like it was a misplaced menu and came back holding a crock pot full of honey.

“Do you know how long,” Larry was drooling, “it’s been since I’ve tasted honey?”

“I’ve a theory,” said Kate, “about what’s happening.”

“…that’ll wait until we’ve had breakfast,” said Larry, having already gone over to the stove, rolled up his sleeves and put on an apron. “How do you want your eggs?”

Larry had taken eggs out of the refrigerator and was breaking them into a skillet before anyone could answer. From the looks of what he was doing everyone was going to have scrambled.

“Make mine scrambled,” said Kate trying not to grin.

“Make mine scrambled too,” I laughed, and then asked seriously. “Did Hilts ever get around to explaining to you why there’s been an increase in bizarre out of the ordinary things happening around here?”

Kate was equally serious when she answered, “He tried to explain saying it had something to do with a couple called Ma n’ Pa and some problems with the Borderlands.”

Kate paused to pour us more coffee.

“Kate, what’s your theory based on;” I asked, “no offence intended, but you’re just a disk jockey, a restaurant owner?”

“My theory’s based upon over twenty years of heading up a top secret government laboratory studying what the effects of Earth’s magnetic lines and gravity have on time-space and alternate universes or realities…and no offense taken.”

“Kate, are you saying you were actually the head of a top secret laboratory studying alternate universes?”

“Yes; the lab’s about fifty miles from here and located over one of the largest quartz deposit on this planet, and that’s Doctor Kate to you…just kidding. I gave up titles a few years ago when I bought this place and moved away from research that had to be filtered through bureaucracy.”

Larry finished dishing us up a generous portion of scrambled eggs then said, “You’re a bit young for early retirement; how’d you manage it? Government pensions are meager on their best days.”

“They are meager, but when supplemented by the royalties from my father’s patents it was enough to buy this combination café and radio station.

“So what,” I was careful not to get egg, pun intended, on my face again, “is your theory?”

“The Sierra Nevada Mountains are home to one of the world’s largest veins of quartz, which can with a large enough source of electricity be made into a giant capacitor.”

“And what,” Larry interjected, “would be a large enough source of electrical energy to turn one of the world’s largest veins of quartz into a giant capacitor.”

“A rare, it happens here and in the German (think Grimm Fairy Tales) Alps every thousand years, series of lightning storms would be a big enough source,” answered Kate. “This vein of quartz when its molecules are aligned/polarized by the lightning, would become a huge hundred mile long capacitor…gaining in capacity after each discharge.

“Once this hundred mile long crystal reached a certain level of storage it would become unstable and could be discharged by the next lightning strike, thus inducing, creating an environment for more electrical storms that in turn would replenish its charge. In essence the process defines the term perpetual motion.”

“So what’s the problem? So we have a few more storms,” I interjected, “in the mountains; the farmers could use the snow pack and rain.”

“More rain’s no problem except that…”

“Except what;” Larry interrupted, “what’s the other shoe that’s about to drop?”

“…except that,” continued Kate, “the crystal’s discharges are affecting more than the weather.”

“What else could they affect,” It was my turn to interrupt, “what’s happening?”

“Up until a month ago the crystal’s discharges were only for a short time but at a frequency sympathetic to the magnetic lines of force surrounding Earth. Gravitational waves at the surface of the Earth are in turn sympathetic to Earth’s magnetic lines of force so when the discharges occur they’re ‘both’ temporarily knocked out of phase. It’s when the two are discordant, out of phase, that rifts or pathways between alternate realities/universes are opened. In the beginning these rifts were only open for seconds. However since I started measuring them at the lab and now with the equipment I have here at the café I’ve found that they’re staying open longer. As more of the hundred mile long crystal is aligned; the rifts or portals between realities stay open longer.”

“How long before the crystal is completely aligned?”

Larry may have become a master metal smith in prison but he’d also become a true ‘Renaissance Man’ and had schooled himself in the sciences; so I wasn’t surprised he was not only able to follow Kate’s theory but to ask questions about it.

“I don’t know, but to appreciate what I’m about to tell you,” Kate had turned to look out the window, “you must accept as fact the Universe not only believes in, but practices balance. It is by definition, the embodiment of Feng Shui and it will do whatever it must to maintain equilibrium. To put it bluntly, the Universe will not, can not allow discordant inharmonious conditions to exist.”

“You talk as if the Universe is conscious?”

Kate looked at me as if I’d spoken the obvious, “so much so it allowed, for self expression, sentient beings to evolve… ”

Before Kate could finish we were interrupted by the kettledrum booming of something pounding on metal.

[page break]

“And that my friends,” Kate was already walking out the backdoor of the café, “is someone, rather something I want you to meet. Well let’s just say I think it’s someone; I’ve never actually seen it. It spoke to me in the voice of my favorite uncle…who’s been dead for some time. Will one of you please grab that pot of coffee?”

I was the closest someone so I grabbed the pot, handed it to Kate and then followed her and Larry outside. Early afternoon sunlight had traced the shadows of overhead branches on our path. They could’ve passed for silhouettes.

The path led down a small incline then up the other side, ending at an archway leading into the ruins of what was left of a stone building. Attached to the archway was a large metal door still on its hinges and shut. Amend that to almost shut. Whatever was doing the pounding was on the other side and had already pushed it open a couple of inches. Larry and I drew out our pistols.

Kate was reading our minds, “Put away your guns and stay close to where I’m standing. With the locks on the hinges it can’t squeeze through the door but it can reach out.”

“Jax honey,” it was my grandmother’s voice coming from behind the door, or was it from inside my head, promising freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and a warm hug if I’d just let her out. “Is that you? Jax, I could’ve caught my death in here last night. If you and your two friends could just give me a hand in opening this door…just unlock the two hinges.”

Kate’s, “Don’t open the door”, came too late.

I’d already put my gun away, walked over and was reaching up to undo the locks covering the hinges.

“Ah, my favorite grandson, now if you could just…” came from behind the door and I could even smell freshly baked cookies mixed with the universal smell all grandmothers have.

The contents of Kate’s pot of coffee hit the door the same time my grandmother’s hand reached out to touch mine. Except my grandmother’s hand was the size of a small shovel and had fingernails that looked like claws.

Something big enough to match the size of the suddenly withdrawn hand moved swiftly back from the other side of the door at the same time Kate’s coffee splattered against it and through its opening. I was splashed a little but not burned.

“Who’s,” I asked, “in there; or should I say…?”

“…what’s in there?” Larry interjected.

“Well whatever it is,” Larry continued, pointing at the door, “it’s something we’re going to have to get past. The signal’s strongest from the other side, which means we’re going to have to get beyond this door and that thing if we’re to join the final section of Ma n’ Pa’s Borderland.”

The thought of Larry and I continuing our journey seemed impossible. It defied logic for the simple reason that behind the metal door were the ruins of a stone building and the ruins backed up to the hills. There was no road or even a path beyond the door, nothing but the beginnings of a steep slope.

“That’s impossible;” I said, feeling I should point out the obvious, “there’s nothing behind this door but ruins, and nothing behind these ruins but hills.”

Kate continued as if I’d simply not looked carefully enough, “You’re correct, there’s nothing but a ten foot space behind the door; but once the portal on other side opens you’ll find yourselves at the beginning of a road exactly four miles long. When it opens next time, according to my calculations, it’ll be for two and a half minutes. You’ll need to have ridden the four miles to the other portal before it closes.”

Remembering back to when the thing pretending to be my grandmother reached for me with a hand the size of a shovel, I asked, “So how do we get past our friend on the other side of the door and while we’re on the subject, how did it get here?”

Kate was direct, “I awakened it. A few days ago when the portal opened I went in only long enough to use the Doppler gun to measure the distance to the next portal.

“It awakened, luckily for me, as I was leaving. If I had to guess, I say it has been trapped at this end of the portal for quite some time.”

“I had to ask, “Other than measuring the distance to the next portal, what did you find?”

“The portal opens when the lightning discharges the crystal. What you’ll find won’t be there after the portal closes. After the portal closes there’s nothing but a ten foot chamber.”

“So what’s,” I repeated my question, “on the other side of the steel door when the portal’s open.”

“The beginning of the four mile road; it runs straight across a near level plain until it ends at the next Borderland. Just beyond the steel door the road is bordered with three maybe four buildings. They’re abandoned and end within a few hundred feet. It’s almost as if part of the main street of a small town was cut off and then pasted to this end of the road. My guess is whatever’s been pounding on the door trying to get out is staying in one of the buildings.”

“Did you,” Larry asked, “find anything else?”

“I didn’t have much time;” answered Kate, “when that ‘thing’ awakened I barely made it back out. I didn’t really get a look at it; I just know it was too big to squeeze through the door. It was later and only by accident I found out it’s afraid of my coffee.”

“Hey,” I said, “what’s not to like? Your coffee’s quite good…although I can’t identify all the ingredients…”

“I’m not surprised you can’t identify all the ingredients; it’s an old recipe for a blend that I make myself. Actually it’s a recipe I got from my older sister that she got from my grandmother, which she got from her great aunt…that she…”

Larry asked the question before I could, “Would your older sister’s name happen to be Elisa?”

“Yes; but how would you know that? I’ve never told anyone her name.”

Thinking of our upcoming four mile sprint between portals, I had to ask the next question, “You wouldn’t happen to have a motorcycle we could borrow?”

“I do. When the portal opens it’ll be on the other side near a little Buddha statue. You can have it on one condition.”

I nominated myself to ask, “What’s the condition?”

“You must take me with you.”

“How do you know the bike,” asked Larry, “will run?” Kate smiled, “I know it’ll run because I checked it for gas

and even started it…which may have saved my life.”

“How did starting it save your life?”

“That ‘thing’ was behind the buildings and ran towards the sound of the bike’s engine. By the time it got there I was already heading for the door. Because it chose to run to where I’d been I had enough of a start to get out safely.”

“And you never got a good look at it?”

“Not really, my focus was on getting to the door and out. All I know is, it’s big, it’s fast, it can speak using the voice of our loved ones and friends, and we’ve about an hour to figure out how to deal with it.”

“Why,” Larry asked, “only an hour?”

“Because that’s when the portal opens and we need to be ready to ride four miles in less than two and a half minutes.”

Chapter 18 coming soon!

By Bandit | May 31, 2024

Interview with Heyltje Rose:

1. Tell us about you and where you are from:

I grew up in a magical place in upstate NY called Hector. It’s out in the sticks alongside the Finger Lakes with gorges, wineries, and rednecks.

2. How did you get the name ‘Heyltje’?

Heyltje is a Dutch name meaning ‘of the heavens’. It was passed down from my grandmother, who was an astonishing woman. She spoke seven languages, had nine children, joined the Peace Corps in her 60s and lived to be over 100.

3. How did you first get interested in working with leather?

When I saw Indian Larry’s bikes and those incredible seats, I wanted to learn how to tool. Paul Cox was a huge inspiration. I bought some equipment and old manuals from the ’70s and messed around with them. I was hooked & have been doing it now for 12 years.

4. Do you have one piece you would call your favorite?

I’d probably say my favorite piece is the ‘Blue Barrel’. It was the first handbag I made and gets the most reactions from people. It is encrusted with stainless hardware. Every stud is in place with Loctite. It’s built to last a lifetime, so it’s burly and quite heavy. Fashion over function.

5. What do you love most about creating your works of art?

I love the solitude of being in my shop and not realizing the hours are passing, when I am truly in the zone. I can be so charged about seeing the

finished product, that I don’t care about the labor and time involved. I fucking love my job.

6. What do you like to do with your free time?

My free time is spent scavenging for goodies to repurpose, doing Pilates or yoga, hanging with my dog Turkey, and smooching my boyfriend Dumptruck!

7. What is your favorite ride – car or motorcycle?

My favorite ride is by far the Golden Clam, a classic wagon I acquired about 6 months ago. She’s a ’71 Buick Estate Wagon which is the longest wagon Buick ever built measuring 18.9 feet. She is gold with a Holley fuel injection converted 455ci GM power plant. She is known for her ‘clam shell’ tailgate that electronically recesses into the car as the back windshield disappears into the roof. I wanted a vintage wagon since I was a little girl attending car shows with my Dad. She is the one!

8. Do you have plans for the future that you can share with us?

I am currently working on a collaboration with one of the most celebrated motorcycle racers and builders in the industry. I am given quite a bit of free reign to do what I wish, which is how I prefer to work. That’s all I can say for now but keep your eyes peeled for the results as it is moving along quickly.

9. Do you have any words of inspiration to encourage other women to live

their dream?

I would ignore those who belittle your goals and aspirations. Many times people are too afraid to go after theirs and are threatened by the way you live your life, exactly as you wish. If you’re doing what you love your passion will lead you to success. My Mom always said, ‘You spend 90% of your life working. It had better be something that you enjoy.’

Heyltje Rose LLC is the brand owned and operated by Heyltje Rose Bond, jewelry designer, leather smith, vintage lover and soon to be hoarder. The brand is a combination of little pieces of Heyltje soul mixed with a very strong guiding principle and work ethic.

At Heyltje Rose we have two methodologies: the one-off pieces and the “collections.” Some found objects beg to be incorporated as an accessory – We can’t deny them – We embellish them, offer them a pedestal on which to shine. Then again, some ideas can’t be refused, either. This is when a concept is translated into leather, metal, or carved wax (that will end up being cast) and can be replicated. Replicated in the US of A I might add.

American Made

We believe that even though creating can be a slow and sometimes complicated process – we are the ones who do it right. All the objects we incorporate or that influence our pieces have a history; it’s our purpose to respect that history! Over the years, we have found that our finished work resonates with the past coupled with our own blood, sweat, joy and fears. We do not attempt to gloss this over, as it is what makes us who we are.

Almost everything is done in house from R&D to fabrication – and if we can’t do it – we’ll ask cool people to help us! Yep – that’s exactly how it’s done! A lot of different materials are used including leather, metal, bones, fabric, gemstones and lucite. The different lines include jewelry, cuffs, belts, handbags, wallets, necklaces, rings, and sometimes even motorcycle accessories. Heyltje tends to make things with a touch of humor, sometimes dark, sometimes endearing but also strong and unapologetic.

SHOP and BUY at her Etsy store

VISIT her website

By Bandit | May 31, 2024

We started with a new BDL diaphragm clutch plate install and the series mushroomed. It actually started long ago, about ten years, when we started to install BDL products. I’ve run BDL primary belt drives and clutches for over a decade.

The spring operated pressure plate allows the rider to set his own spring tension by eliminating or adding springs. Recently they came up with two diaphragm styled pressure plates, covered in the last tech. This system answers another question regarding open belts and clutches. Some folks don’t care for the notion of those studs and springs flying around in the open. Most BDL systems come with a derby cover, which addresses this situation, but some like to run the clutch open.

Then we discovered this BDL Lock-Up Pressure Plate System and had to try it out. “This system was designed to give the rider and easier pull, yet maximum pressure at speeds,” said Scott Murley, the master of tech and R&D at BDL.

Edge, the mastermind of the wildest chopper event in the world, the SmokeOut, just happened to be in Los Angeles for some heated meetings with Indian motorcycles, plus in the middle of the night over too much whiskey he was talked into modeling for our winter 5-Ball Racing apparel photo shoot. Don’t ask me, I’m innocent!

During a brief lull in the action Commander Edge said, “Let’s wrench.”

Only two mechanical items quivered on my plate that second: Install the BDL Lock-up plate and build a Bikernet, 5-Ball Trophy for the winner of the Bikernet Baggers Editor’s Choice Award at the Long Beach Ultimate Builder Bike Show. We opted for the BDL install.

Here’s how it went, a super-simple 20-minute operation. We slipped the Mudflap Girl on the lift and removed the studs holding the springs. Then we followed the BDL instructions and with the fully assembled EPP-100 BDL clutch installed, we slipped six bushings into the six alternate (every other one) holes in the existing pressure plate.

Then we installed existing BDL springs over the supplied bushings. Next, we installed three short shoulder bolts in a triangular pattern in the pressure plate. These went in the holes without springs or bushings.

We placed the lock-up clutch pressure plate onto the springs and held it in place while installing the two longest bolts in the pack across from each other and tightened them down to compress the lockup clutch plate in place. Make sure to grab the longest Allens, and don’t use Loctite. They are guides, and watch how the springs line up.

Finally, with some blue Loctite we installed the four shorter Allens with stainless washers through the springs and bushings into the plate and snugged them down. For more pressure, you can add more stainless washers. Once they were installed, we removed the two longer bolts and replaced them with shorter ones (with washers), or the clutch may experience a problem.

We hauled ass to her house (I wish), and I didn’t test ride the Mudflap Girl. The next day the Bikernet Headquarters was awash with folks, photographers, and the lovely model from the Great Frog, Imogen and her gang of thugs wearing skulls and wolf silver jewelry. We scrambled all day taking 5-Ball racing apparel shots and fucking off. Markus Cuff shot over 800 images.

“Wind ‘em up,” the commander ordered as the sun quickly set over the Palos Verdes Peninsula. We scrambled for the gate and peeled down the street. Edge ran out of gas on the dicey Knucklehead as we attempted helmetless runs in the highly restricted and regulated streets for the Port of Los Angeles. We could have gone to jail forever, unless we were illegal aliens, and then they woulda cut us loose. It’s nuts, but the clutch worked like a dream. “The faster you go the more pressure put on the EPP-100 BDL clutch pressure plate,” Scott added.

Keep that in mind. The faster you go the better it works. Can’t beat that!

–Bandit

By Bandit | May 31, 2024

I get tired of talking about the 2008 economic downturn and how it devastated the motorcycle, sailing, and many other industries. I wish I could say we are cured and walking proudly down the yellow brick road to metalflake Nirvana. It just ain’t so. But there is hope and there are quality American companies trying to do their utmost to keep us on the road to bobbed or chopper freedom.

There is still one custom chopper manufacturing facility still standing, maybe three. One in particular, Brass Balls Cycles or Darwin Motorcycles, recently launched a kit bike program and made it ultimately affordable. They are not a parts company trying to unload a batch of out-of-stock components or junk. Dar Holdsworth builds quality custom motorcycles everyday. He builds and restores motorcycles every year to support Pros4Vets. He saw the need to help guys ride their dream machines without the expense of hiring someone to build it. Besides, no one understands the desire to build bikes more than Dar.

He started a kit program with the quality components he uses on his own builds. He tried to structure it so that a guy could pick his budget and stay within the numbers, which meant he offered some components not made in America, but it’s purely the customer’s decision. He or she can build a 100 percent American component bike, or 90 percent. No problem.

In the near future, each kit will include a Wolfgang publication book on how to build a kit bike, and Dar initiated a program for staying in touch with his customers and supporting them throughout the build process. I’ve built bikes for 40 years, and every time I build a new custom, I have questions or concerns. I always reach out for answers, but I’m a pushy bastard. Dar set up an active support group and is building an advisory board out of customers who have completed Brass Balls builds. See his letter to a recent customer.

James,

Hi there. I hope this finds you doing well.

The reason for my email is to thank you for your business and ask you for your help.

I’d like to ask you to be an honorary member of our Bike Kit Advisory Board.

In reflection, I know we can do a better job with our bike kits. But rather than take an educated guess at it, I’d like to get direct input from a select group of customers who have purchased a bike kit from us and completed it.

I’m not looking for accolades here. I’m looking for your suggestions for what we could do better. Yes, I’d also like to know what we did well, so we can keep doing those things. But I’d like to improve where possible, anywhere from the selection process on our web site, to product delivery and even assistance with the assembly of the bike.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to give your input. I’m preparing a small care package to send you in the mail. Please confirm for me your address and shirt/hat sizes.

I’d also like to feature your bike on our site and in social media. Please email some good photos that we can use and give you credit on a great build.

All the best for a great holiday season.

–Dar Holdsworth
Brass Balls Kit Doctor

Hi Dar

It’s been a great year of riding the new bobber. I’m happy to help you out, but hate to criticize when you supplied such an awesome kit.

There were a few things that could have made the process a bit more streamlined.

I was a bit apprehensive about the wiring of the bike and whether I needed to individually fuse each circuit, or if the Wire Plus module would take care of it. I did get a schematic of an early ‘90s FX from Doug Lyle (Brass Balls staff member) on how to complete the wiring. Would be a bonus to include a wiring diagram along with the wiring harness.

Getting some of the parts across the boarder into Canada was a bit nerve-racking. Although I did have the bill of sale and the itemized list of all the kit parts, there were a couple of shipments that I had to put a packing slip with prices together so that I had something to show Canadian Customs when coming across the border. The next kit will need to have itemized and priced packing slips included so it will be easier to bring the parts across.

The only infant failure I had with the parts was the voltage regulator, which was replaced under warranty.

As far as the website ordering…everything was great on there. After I made the order, it didn’t take very long to get a reply and start getting into some fine detail through e-mail.

–James Lintott
Okanagan Falls, BC, Canada

This level of feedback is critical moving forward and gives the Brass Balls team the ability to refine their program.

There are two basic programs. You can build the bike of your dreams in payment stages, which allow you to purchase the system in phases, not all at once. Or you can buy a complete kit. These kits come with a wide variety of styles and components, so you can basically style your bike around your budget, your size, your riding abilities, and your chopper desires, from rigid, to Softail, or even FXR.

Here’s how the phase system works step by step:

Phase 1: Rolling Chassis

Our base kit is comprised of the best mix of quality components at an affordable price. Like the bikes we build, each phase includes additional options and upgrades for you to choose from. We start with the budget conscious customer in mind and offer optional upgrades if desired.

Through many years of building custom/production award winning bikes, we’ve learned which parts have the quality needed to build a safe and lasting bike. We offer these components to you in our bike kits, and from budget minded parts to the highest grade specialty parts, the quality is there.

The core of your bike is the frame. We offer you the same frames we use to build our Brass Balls Cycles line of bikes. All of our frames are to exacting standards and hand made in the USA.

Determine what you want your bike to look like. Select the frame that’s right for you. Choose from a rigid or Softail frame, a springer or hydraulic front end, size and style of wheels, handlebars and risers and you’re off to a great start on the foundation of your dream machine.

Phase 1: Rolling Chassis
Starting at $2,860

Frame: Standard Frame 34 degrees 0 stretch up, or out
Front End: Springer: Black
Front Wheel size: 21-inch x 2.15 (90mm tire)
Rear Wheel size: 16-inch x 3.5 (140mm tire)
Front wheel: RideWright Wheels chrome 40 spoke
Rear wheel: RideWright Wheels chrome 40 spoke
Front Tire: Avon Cobras: 90mm/21 black wall tire
Rear Tire: Avon Cobras: 140mm/16 black wall tire
Handle Bars: Drag bars
Risers: 4-inch tall risers, chrome
Rear Sprocket
Rear axle
Axle adjuster bolts
Kickstand
Head Bearings Tapered
Head Bearing Races
Dust shield
Neck cups

When you go to the Brass Balls web site, you will have a menu listing all the options for each part category.

Phase 2: Sheet Metal and Accessories

Your bike is starting to take shape. Choose from five different fuel tank options we use to build our Model 1 and Digger, Classic Bobber, Rocketeer, 69 Chopper and Vintage American bikes.

Choose a custom gas cap, perhaps a different oil tank or seat springs. Did you select a wider tire in Phase 1? If so, don’t forget a wider fender option in Phase 2. Have fun with it.

Phase 2: Sheet Metal & Accessories
Starting at $997

Fuel tank: Flat side sporty 2.4 gallon
Gas cap: Traditional round low profile: Chrome
Petcock fuel valve: chrome
Oil tank: Flat side round w/battery tray: raw
Rear Fender: 6.5” for 140mm tire fitment. Stamped fender, untrimmed
Seat: Traditional Seat Springs
Heavy Duty isolators for oil tank
Oil tank rear bracket front & rear brackets
Oil tank drain plug
Oil tank hose nipples
Fuel filter, chrome
Fender struts kit (not welded)
Seat Pivot hinge and mount
Seat Springs
Darwin Motorcycles Tag bracket w/LED light

Phase 3: Brakes & Controls

Controlling your bike is vital. You need solid controls that work as good as they look and feel like an extension of yourself.

Braking is as important as acceleration. Don’t underestimate the need for great brakes. We’ve made it easy by supplying you with incredible braking options for your bike.

You also have the option of different foot controls, hand controls and grips. The ISR hand controls are incredible, and if you are inclined to use the best, don’t pass them up. If you want clean understated switch housings, the ISR housings again are our preferred choice. Contact us for help selecting which switch housings are best for your bike.

Phase 3: Brakes & Controls
Starting at $1,557

Brakes Front Wheel: Wilwood GP300 caliper for springer w/Brass Balls hanger: polished
Brakes Rear Wheel: Wilwood GP300 caliper, polished w/hanger
Foot Controls: Foot Controls – Chrome
Hand Controls: Black: Master Cylinder, brake lever & Clutch lever (cable style)
Grips: Avon old school rubber, black
Signals and Switch Housings: None. No Switch housings or signal switches
Brake Banjo Fitting, 45 degree (2 each)
Brake Banjo Fitting, 15 degree (2 each)
Brake hose #3, 30-inch front, and 40-inch rear
Brake Banjo Bolt 10mm 3/8 – 24 (2 each)
Brake Switch (2 each)
Brake Switch Boot (2 each)
Motion Pro Throttle Cable 32.5-inch black
Motion Pro Idle Cable 32.5-inch black
Motion Pro Clutch Cable 62.75-inch black
Brake Heim joint assembly, front
Brake Rotor Front, Satin
Brake Rotor Rear, Satin
Throttle housing
Cable clamp
Mirrors

Phase 4: Powertrain

The heart and soul of your bike is the powertrain. Choose it wisely.

The motor you put in your bike speaks to your personality and riding style. Is it power you want or vintage style? Are you looking for a motor that provides the “best bang for your buck,” or do you want a motor built by a company with a 55-year heritage of building performance quality V-Twins?

We have a sharp selection of primary drives to choose from, including enclosed (wet) chain drives and open belt drive options.

If you want a strong transmission at a great value, we strongly suggest Rivera Primo. It’s what we use in all of our Brass Balls Cycles.

Pipes can be tricky. Different motors require different pipes. We are here to help you get the right pipes for your bike.

Phase 4: Powertrain
Starting at $6,985

Motor: Ultima: 107-inch Natural w/ Chrome Rocker Boxes
Motor Finish: Natural
Motor certification: none
Transmission: Ultima 6-speed: natural w/chrome covers
Primary Drive: Ultima 2-inch Belt Drive, Old School: Natural
Exhaust Pipes: D&D Performance Brass Balls 2 into 1 Fat Slash
Exhaust Pipes Finish: Raw metal
Offset Transmission sprocket .9-inch
Transmission sprocket nut & washer
Clutch Push Rod
O-ring chain
Chain Guard
Oil Filter
Oil Filter Mount
3/8-inch Fuel Oil Hose
Throttle Cable Guide
Line Clamps
Upper Motor Mount w/Coil Bracket
Exhaust Gaskets (2 each)
Drivetrain Hardware
Rear Spacer .500
14” Polished Shift Linkage
Coil, Single Fire
Spark Plug Wires

Phase 5: Electrical

Did you know that most problems bike owners face are electrical related? You will benefit from our experience building bikes, as we have determined the best compliment of electrical components to provide your bike the charge it needs for a long hassle-free life.

Our base kit includes an All Balls starter, Braille battery, Cycle Electric charging system, a Wire Plus custom wire harness designed by us for our bikes, in addition to other quality components.

Phase 5: Electrical
Starting at $1,420

Starter: Starter 1.4 KW top post (All Balls)

Speedometer: Mechanical speedo with 2:1 drive unit

Headlight: Bobber headlight Chrome 5-3/4-inch w/mount & 12V halogen bulb
Tail Lights: Lighting, Turn Signal Kit (set of 4)
Ignition Key Switch
Battery Wire
Battery Terminal ¼-inch
Battery Terminal 5/16-inch
Fuse and Holder, 30A
Voltage Regulator 32 amp (Cycle Electric)
Stator, 32 amp
Rotor (internal)
Battery Braille 2015
Battery Cushion
Battery Cable/Starter Post Boot
1/4, 3/8, 1/2, & 1-inch dual wall
Brass Balls Wiring Harness
Horn, Mini, chrome
Battery Strap

Bracket for Ignition Switch

This system allows you to start a world class bobbed project and build it as the funds become available.

STOP! There’s more. Yes, you can buy a complete bike kit all at once, starting at $13,000.

All Five Phases: Bike Kit
Starting at $13,819

Frame: Standard Frame 34 degrees 0 up, 0-inch out
Front End: Springer: Black
Front Wheel size: 21-inch x 2.15 (90mm tire)
Rear Wheel size: 16-inch x 3.5 (140mm tire)
Front wheel: RideWright Wheels chrome 40 spoke
Rear wheel: RideWright Wheels chrome 40 spoke
Front Tire: Avon Cobras: 90mm/21 black wall tire
Rear Tire: Avon Cobras: 140mm/16 black wall tire
Handle Bars: Drag bars
Risers: 4-inch tall risers, chrome
Rear Sprocket
Rear axle
Axle adjuster bolts
Kickstand
Head Bearings Tapered
Head Bearing Races
Dust shield
Neck cups
Fuel tank: Flat side sporty 2.4 gallon
Gas cap: Traditional round low profile: Chrome
Petcock fuel valve: chrome
Oil tank: Flat side round w/battery tray: raw
Rear Fender: 6.5-inch for 140mm tire fitment. Stamped fender, untrimmed
Seat: Traditional Seat Springs
Heavy Duty isolators for oil tank
Oil tank rear bracket front & rear brackets
Oil tank drain plug
Oil tank hose nipples
Fuel filter, chrome
Fender struts kit (not welded)
Seat Pivot hinge and mount
Seat Springs
Darwin Motorcycles Tag bracket w/LED light
Brakes Front Wheel: Wilwood GP300 caliper for springer w/Brass Balls hanger: polished
Brakes Rear Wheel: Wilwood GP300 caliper, polished w/hanger
Foot Controls: Foot Controls – Chrome
Hand Controls: Black: Master Cylinder, brake lever & Clutch lever (cable style)
Grips: Avon old school rubber, black
Signals and Switch Housings: None. No Switch housings or signal switches
Cable clamp
Mirrors
Brake Banjo Fitting, 45 degree (2 each)
Brake Banjo Fitting, 15 degree (2 each)
Brake hose #3, 30-inch front, 40-inch rear
Brake Banjo Bolt 10mm 3/8 – 24 (2 each)
Brake Switch (2 each)
Brake Switch Boot (2 each)
Motion Pro Throttle Cable 32.5-inch black
Motion Pro Idle Cable 32.5-inch black
Motion Pro Clutch Cable 62.75-inch black
Brake Heim joint assembly, front
Brake Rotor Front, Satin
Brake Rotor Rear, Satin
Throttle housing
Motor: Ultima: 107-inch Natural w/ Chrome Rocker Boxes
Motor Finish: Natural
Motor certification: none
Transmission: Ultima 6-speed: natural w/chrome covers
Primary Drive: Ultima 2-inch Belt Drive, Old School: Natural
Exhaust Pipes: D&D Performance Brass Balls 2 into 1 Fat Slash
Exhaust Pipes Finish: Raw metal
Line Clamps
Upper Motor Mount w/Coil Bracket
Exhaust Gaskets (2 each)
Drivetrain Hardware
Rear Spacer .500
14-inch Polished Shift Linkage
Coil, Single Fire
Spark Plug Wires
Offset Transmission sprocket .9-inch
Transmission sprocket nut & washer
Clutch Push Rod
O-ring chain
Chain Guard
Oil Filter
Oil Filter Mount
3/8-inch Fuel Oil Hose
Throttle Cable Guide
Starter: Starter 1.4 KW top post (All Balls)
Speedometer: Mechanical speedo with 2:1 drive unit
Headlight: Bobber headlight Chrome 5-3/4-inch w/mount & 12V halogen bulb
Tail Lights: Lighting, Turn Signal Kit (set of 4)
Ignition Key Switch
Battery Wire
Battery Terminal ¼-inch
Battery Terminal 5/16-inch
Fuse and Holder, 30A
Voltage Regulator 32 amp (Cycle Electric)
Stator, 32 amp
Rotor (internal)
Battery Braille 2015
Battery Cushion
Battery Cable/Starter Post Boot
1/4, 3/8, 1/2, & 1-inch dual wall
Brass Balls Wiring Harness
Horn, Mini, chrome
Battery Strap
Bracket for Ignition Switch

By Bandit | May 31, 2024

My job is promoting companies in the Powersports Industry through promotions and publicity, as well as by producing custom shows. Last week I flew to LAX to produce the J&P Cycles Ultimate Builder Custom Bike Show, installed down the center isle and on the red carpet of the Progressive International Motorcycle Show.

I always look forward to coming out to the City of Angles because I stay at the Bikernet.com HQ in Wilmington, CA. I bring a bottle of single barrel Jack Daniels and sit down with Bandit and whoever-is-around at the end of the day to have a couple of shots, recap the day, and fix the world’s problems.

This year I invited Edge Scheuer, the promoter for the Smoke Out Rally in Rockingham, NC, to come out to discuss a promotion with Indian Motorcycle. At the same time, I wanted his participation in a 5-Ball apparel by Bikernet photo shoot. This shoot to highlight 5-Ball Racing Leathers was carefully orchestrated by Lt. Ball, or Bandit as he is known around the Bikernet compound. He assigned me to direct the shoot.

The weekend kicked ass, for example, I connected with Robert Pandya, the head PR flack with Indian. They carefully displayed the “Spirit of Monroe”, a million dollar Indian streamliner, and “Elnora”, an Indian hot off the Cannonball cross-country adventure. These bikes were featured in our J&P Cycles Ultimate Builder Custom Bike Show Showcase, and were the first bikes seen as enthusiasts entered the Long Beach Convention Center.

The custom bike show in Long Beach was a blast and jammed the entire three days. On Saturday, all the lots in Long Beach were packed with bikes and four-wheelers. The builders had fun and picked up on our mantra, “stand with your bikes and engage the audience,” making my job easier, while getting their names out to custom bike enthusiasts and potential customers.

Even if it’s easy, there is always some emergency to head off. One of our FreeStyle guys blasted his high-tech sound system so loud the OEMs around him complained! Show management asked him numerous times to turn it down, but I think his answer was to turn it up. On Sunday, management called me on the Bat Phone with the ultimatum, “He turns it off or he rolls out.” After I returned from talking with him, upper management wanted to know what happened, and I said, “He gave me a hug and turned it off.” It was just one of those weekends. I’m glad he did, because a couple of hours later I awarded him a check for $1,000 for winning the FreeStyle class.

I enjoyed the honor of conducting the awards ceremony at the conclusion on Sunday, under clear skies and with anxious builders. We awarded $4,000 in cash and prizes. Bandit agreed to award the Bikernet Editor’s Choice Award. Because the bikes were so good this year he decided to add another award, the Bikernet Bagger Editor’s Choice Award to the mix. Todd White took the Bikernet award for his KZ440 LTD hardtail Bobber, and Raul Machin’s Lifestyle Cycles-built 2012 Road Glide custom took the Bikernet Bagger award. Features for both are forthcoming behind Markus Cuff, the esteemed Bikernet.com official feature photographer.

In Long Beach, I was able to work on my photography skills. These new cameras are so sophisticated I needed a 12-year-old to figure out the myriad of damn dials and commands. I fumbled for answers all weekend.

During the awards, our “Color Commentator” was Pat Jansen, the Progressive Insurance spokesperson. His wicked wisecracks kept the bros on edge. Speaking of edge, Edge enjoyed Pat’s off-handed banter, so much he signed him up for Smoke Out 16, announcing the painted lady contest. Whatever he announces, we will be in stitches – or maybe it’s the white-lightening shots. He barked an announcement about a bike full of holes being reminiscent of Hillary Clinton’s Benghazi excuses. The crowd went crazy.

Progressive Insurance came up with a wild and nutty idea to promote their relationship with Pat, and it ended up torturing him to no end. They created thousands upon thousands of Pat bears… Small, cute and cuddly stuffed-bears with Pat embroidered on their left breast.

During dinner on Saturday night, I noticed Pat was looking at his phone and sighing. I asked him what was going on, and he showed me a video of the Pat Bear pleasuring itself to some Latin music. He looked at me and said, “This happens all the time, it just never lets up.” It turned out a young lass from delighted in showing her affection.

A few minutes later his phone chimed and there was another text message with a picture of the same bear smoking a cigarette. It’s the good life being a Z-listed celebrity.

Speaking of Z celebs, not only did we have Edge at our photo shoot, we also had the voice and face of 5-Ball Racing Leathers, Dumptruck. His Wolfman Jack voice works as the firm’s product endorsement personality.

At the shoot we had a couple of A-listers too. Markus Cuff not only is certified by the Bikernet.com board of directors, but he is a regular contributor to Hot Bike, American Iron, Tattoo Magazine, Easyriders, the HORSE, and Cycle Source. Our knockout model, Imogen, is a tattoo model for Markus; she’s graced the covers of multiple magazines, domestic and abroad. She rides her Sportster daily and models for Harley-Davidson. Her Great Frog shop on Melrose hosted the wrap party for the Sons of Anarchy since her family of jewelers was commissioned to design the cast rings for the final season.

During the shoot I also connected with Heyjtle of Heyltje Rose Leather & Accessories to provide jewelry for the guys. Heyjtle brought out some cool leather gaunlets and pendants, and she assisted in setting the lifestyle vibe for the shoot. I thought the guys would give me push back on the jewelry, but they got into it. She designs jewelry for Roland Sands. Roland tossed a party on Saturday night, and we jammed to his shop in Westminster only to find out it rocked Melrose Blvd. in Hollywood, instead.

I thought the shoot was going fairly well, and then discovered someone in pain. I investigated since the smell of medical marijuana filled the shop about mid-afternoon.

Our shoot was broken into two campaigns, with the morning focused on the multiple 5-Ball Leather product features and the afternoon with Imogen. I directed her, but she often laughed and said something like, “Are you kidding me? Are you serious?” Actually, I didn’t think I was suggesting anything out of the box.

Ultimately, she really got into it. When I asked her if she would mind showing the gun pocket and handling a 6-shot snub nose 38. Her response was, “Fuck, yeah, let me have it.” So we had her spidering Dumptruck as he rode. Then I had her sitting on the gas tank peeking over his shoulder and shooting. I got a lot of, “Are you serious?” comments during that portion of the shoot… I was going for a Sin City look, and I think we nailed it.

She broke up the tension too. In one shot she snaked her arm up and over Edge’s shoulder to grab the cell phone in his chest pocket (showing the utility of the IKE jacket with the different styles of pockets), and she whispered in his ear, “Who’s the bitch texting you?”

Imogen is cool. After I found out about the family jewelry business, you’ll see the guys wearing more rings in the later photographs, as I liberated the jewelry from her thug escorts.

The most dramatic shots came from Bandit. He looked “big daddy pimp” as he grabbed up Imogen, positions her in a possessive way and put his big paw of a hand resplendent with silver rings on her stomach. Definitely had the beauty and the beast feel to it.

At the HQ a lot of fur ran about constantly. There are two large black dogs, Cash and Tank, a cat, and a McCaw named Claude. Cash has a Jimmy Durante nose that he uses to great success in opening gates. He also points it like a missile and spears your balls. It’s great fun to witness new arrivals enter the compound.

You’d hear, “Cash, dammit, get out of here.” He’d leave and then 30 minutes later he’d be back, checking out the action once more. Claude can only say one word, which I can’t understand… must be in French. The activity of the shoot was too much for him, as he spent a good 30 minutes screeching. He/she, we are not sure which, really needed the medicinal marijuana. But all in all, the critters fit into the cacophony of action and added their stamp to the proceedings.

On Wednesday morning at 3:30AM, Edge and I ran 80mph on the concrete arteries of LA, heading to LAX. During my seven days in LA, I presented to four potential clients, completed two proposals, produced a bike show and a 5-Ball Racing photo shoot, drank half a handle of Jack Daniels, and ate some of the best damn Mexican food of my life.

At 4:15AM Edge leans over to an American Airline pilot on the transit bus we are sharing from Enterprise Car Rental to the airport terminal and sez, “I just closed the bar down and came right to the airport, you do the same?” The pilot first starts to talk about what he did, then switches in mid-sentence about alcohol and the 5-hour rule and then blah, blah, blah… It was so funny.

As I am writing this, the pilot gets on the intercom and says that we are dropping from 30,000 feet and we will arrive at Seattle–Tacoma International Airport in about 15 minutes. Once I land, I’ll peel to several bike shops and encourage them to attend the next custom show. Before day’s end I’ve got to swing down to a special little French bakery on the wharf and pick up some éclairs. They are the sweetest and lightest little pieces of love you have ever eaten. They are for my honey, who often races through my dreams and lives too far away.

By Bandit | May 31, 2024

Although this adventure took place sometime in the mid 2000s, I’ve decided to print it here for the benefit of any who would like to ride the huge ships that carry cars, semi trucks, motor homes, and motorcycles from the city of Bellingham, Washington to the distant shores of Alaska. For most everything that goes to Alaska travels along the Intracoastal Alaska Marine Highway System either by ship or by huge barges pulled by tugs.

Backed against the loading platform with the rear bay open and a heavy steel ramp secured to the shore, the ‘Malaspina’ waited for the loading of passengers and vehicles before she would get underway. The huge ship would not venture into open seas, as the familiar northbound journey always kept her close to the beautiful British Columbia Coastline.

In the giant parking lot a group of 25 motorcycles, including my own, waited patiently for the signal to board. Beyond the bikes the lot lay gridlocked with a small army of cars, trucks, campers and motor homes all awaiting the same signal. Among the motorcycles a congregation of riders milled around content in their conversations. Anticipation surged through the would-be passengers and it was impossible not to become caught up in the high everyone was riding. Most were retired folks who’d made reservations months in advance. It was a move that had earned them the luxury of a stateroom. Miss Adrienne and I would be camping on the deck with the other flakes.

Eventually the signal was given to board. As the Electra Glide traversed the steel ramp leading into the enormous car deck, I felt like Pinocchio on his infamous ride into the whale’s belly.

With the bike strapped down among the others, we grabbed our gear and hopped an elevator to the top deck. At the top deck’s rear section a large sundeck offered a spectacular view from high above the sea and it was there that our boot heels came to rest. The forward section was covered with a half-dome, Plexiglas windowed, solarium that resembled a clear-plastic cave. It’s ceiling was lined with electric heaters and the floor covered with plastic lounge chairs that would serve as beds to some passengers. The open deck behind it bustled with frantic passengers who fought to erect their tents and claim a piece of “turf” before it was gone. Once set up, tents were simply duct taped to the deck.

After standing back to contemplate this crazy situation for a moment, we decided to take a short walk around the ship. After locating a deserted little forward deck section we settled in and made camp there.

Once camp had been erected we set out to explore the ship. The lower passageways honeycombed through the interior opening up, at times, into huge rooms. Although we’d ridden many car ferries in our day, the ‘Malaspina’ was by far the largest. By no means was she a luxury liner, this floating palace offered a cafeteria, convenience store, TV room, large forward and aft lounges, bathrooms, shower-rooms and even a complete bar. In the evenings movies were run in the theater.

Since the magnificent British Columbia coastline is clogged with hundreds of islands separated by only tight waterways on which the ship travels, the experience was more like riding a riverboat than an ocean going vessel. From the rail I saw endless mountain ranges of impassable wilderness that rose from the sea to finally end in towering snow covered peaks. Over the following four days we would see few signs of civilization and it would be a fascinating experience to look upon such a complete absence of society. It felt as though we’d been transported into the prehistoric past.

Since we all lived among one another in our top deck campground the ship soon became a big floating party. Adrienne and I began to meet a lot of interesting folks. The air among most seemed charged with a kind of high powered excitement. At the ships rear railing I found one young guy with hands outstretched yelling, “I’m the king of the world!”

Although most passengers were interesting, not all were sane. There was one guy who wandering around carrying a briefcase and talking to Martians. While standing in line at the cafeteria he warned me to study the prices before approaching the counter less they learn of my ignorance through telepathy and screw me at the register. Some of us took to wondering if the guy was carrying dynamite or dead babies in that little briefcase.

Then there was another cat who spent his days in a wheel chair. But late at night, while the others slept, he’d come out to burn lonely hours pacing the deck’s perimeter as the cold steel chilled his bare feet. What a trip!

In the forward lounge a bench seat and table sat against a picture window that faced the sea. Two middle aged men sat before a large supply of hand-carved ivory trinkets. The stuff gleamed of some strange, otherworldly beauty. I introduced myself. “I’m Bill,” the man smiled and stuck out his hand, “and this here’s Dan. Pull up a seat if you like.” I did.

These guys handed piece after fantastic piece for my inspection. “Where do you get the ivory?” Bill pulled a picture album from his briefcase. The color prints depicted many shots of these two pulling giant tusks from foreign streams as their canoe floated nearby. “We sell only ancient Mammoth ivory,” Dan said, “In the winters we go on overseas expeditions to find the stuff and in the summers we travel for fun.”

Two weeks later, on the shores of Seward Alaska, (a small fishing town located 160 miles south of Anchorage) Adrienne and I would find Dan on the crowded streets of the Forth of July celebration. We’d follow his half-lit stagger along the small-town sidewalks as Danny would lead us to the “Ivory” hotel. There, among a mountain of exotic art, we would find a seriously buzzed Bill grinning through a nasty mouthful of plastic Billy-Bob teeth. As the bullshit would flow into laughter I would learn that Bill owns several high end art galleries in India where his wife holds down the fort while he’s away.

Another snapshot would portray an authentic Wooly Mammoth skeleton standing in the center of his huge art gallery. The two business partners had known each other since high school and always spent their summers traveling on a bed of ivory. Devoid of much money, they simply negotiate in trade for lavish hotel rooms, food, and booze. But that day had not yet arrived as I sat in the exotic art section aboard the ‘Malaspina’ and eventually we bid the Ivory Boys adieu.

The entertainment factor aboard this ship seemed endless. One afternoon we stepped into the cafeteria’s dining area and became reacquainted with three motorcyclists who had been in the Bellingham parking lot on the day of boarding. All rode dressers. I asked how much notice it had taken to reserve their state rooms and if it was worth it? “We made our reservations back in January (it was early June) and my room is real nice,” the biggest man replied.

So I asked if we could bring a camera to his place and snap a few photos for the benefit of any readers who might want to make this trip some day. The big man seemed happy to oblige and we followed to his lower deck State Room. Aside from a slight air of claustrophobia it was really nice. But I personally was happy to return to the top deck scenery of our open-air home.

Knowing of my love for machinery, Adrienne got the Crew Chief to set up a personalized engine room tour. On the fourth day, she informed me it was time to meet our guide. As with all the crew I’d met aboard the ‘Malaspina’, Doug was a mellow, easy going cat. Doug told me of the Road King that waited in the garage beside his wife’s Dina Glide. They’d been riders all their lives.

With the echo of footsteps clattering loudly off corridor walls, we followed Doug down a narrow stairwell. In contrast to the carefree passengers above, an entirely different world waited deep within the bowels of the ship. At the engine rooms entrance we were given soundproof earmuffs before being led through a watertight hatchway. I was immediately hit with a deafening racket that seemed to filter right through the heavy muffs. Doug paced off 20 feet before turning to stand proudly before two immense V-12 engines.

Each was the size of a U Haul truck and, as I’d soon learn, weighed 100,000 lbs and turns a slow 325 rpm (my bike idles at 500). The revs must be kept low lest the sheer weight of the huge pistons tear the engines apart. Each engine turns a 12-foot prop that offers adjustable attitude in order to change the ship’s speed. The ship burns around 60 gallons of diesel fuel per mile (about 320 gallons an hour) and holds almost 900 gallons of oil per engine. Besides the main engines, and among 100 other elaborate systems that must be constantly maintained, three massive generators, powered by huge Caterpillar motors, churned out high voltage that was then used to power lighting and other electrical needs.

Our tour ended in the control room where three men welcomed us with cups of hot coffee. Doug later took us to his stateroom for a look at the crew’s quarters. Humble, but certainly adequate.

As the days passed by, each night became shorter and it was with a true sense of the unreal that we stood on the deck and watched the midnight sun shining brightly in the Northern Hemisphere. For the rays now reached us from beyond the polar ice cap or, if you prefer, over the top of the world. In fact, the light still shown brightly at 5:30am of the following morning as the ‘Malaspina’ pulled into port on the shore of Juneau, Alaska. Juneau is a city of 35,000 souls with 45 miles of roads, all dead ends since the city is only accessible by air or sea. Our ride on the ‘Malaspina’ would end here and we’d be laid over until 1am of the following night when the ‘Kennicott’ (another massive ship) would pull into port and pick us up.

We broke camp and grabbed our gear then hopped an elevator down to the car deck. There, beside the autos, campers and motor homes parked inside the warehouse sized belly of this metal monster sat my full dress Harley-Davidson which seemed insignificant as it waited in a corner with the other bikes. With tie-down straps removed we reloaded our gear and mounted up. As I hit the starter button the sharp crack of the H-D engine echoed loudly through the ship.

For me there has always been a tremendous excitement that comes when riding a motorcycle into new and unfamiliar territory. As we rode the steel ramp on to the shores of Alaska I experienced that euphoria all over again.

By Bandit | May 31, 2024

Akrapovic just unveiled its Full Moon concept motorcycle at the Bad Salzuflen Custombike Show in Germany.

Developed with the assistance of Slovenian Dreamachine Motorcycles—the same partnership that produced the legendary Morsus in 2011, the Full Moon concept bike is an extravagant, technically exceptional, promotional bike for the manufacturer.

This concept machine was developed to avoid being categorized, and as such is a bike that belongs nowhere and everywhere, making it a unique motorcycle. The name comes from the huge aluminum and carbon thirty-inch front wheel, which is completely visible, giving the impression of a full moon and making a huge statement of what this bike is about. Over eight hundred hours went into creating this superbly finished machine, which features an S&S Knucklehead 1,524 cc engine and two modified custom-made Akrapovic exhausts. The frame and bodywork are made entirely of sheet metal and form an extension to the exhausts. The bodywork is thus part of the Akrapovic exhaust system—an integral part, in fact—and the bike itself is essentially an exhaust.

The thirty-inch composite wheel is not found on other custom bikes, and another innovation is a composite braking disc, also unseen in this size on motorcycles until now. The steering is completely automated, which allows a minimalist steering rod without any visible cables that would otherwise be required for the bike to function.

The Full Moon can also stand upright when parked, courtesy of its hydraulic suspension. This is an extremely technically advanced motorcycle, full of unique elements that were carefully chosen to make the bike totally exclusive, and the shape hides completely new solutions used on a custom bike for the first time. The Full Moon is like no other bike out there now, and Akrapovic is very proud of it.

By Bandit | May 31, 2024

The 5-Ball Racing™ team has always been a team effort. We set a few World Land Speed Records, and we’re going after more. The team portion of the equation remains intact with the apparel line. Teams are tough. Humans have a tough time dealing with egos, success, money, you name it. In many respects, the dharma rule of any team is to avoid all those issues at all costs. I’ll attempt to explain.

The team mantra is to do what’s best for the team, pure and simple. Here’s how this one played out. I have two old friends, one I’ve know for a decade, Jeff Najar, who is a talented, hard-working guy who always steps up for family and friends. We call him Prince Najar. It fits. He’s had an ongoing relationship/partnership with an industry friend for 30 years, Bob Kay. They started a leather company a few years back and struggled with it.

I’ve been working with Andrew Calogero and his wife Arleth, for a couple of years. He wanted to take over the Bikernet Apparel business and run with it. I warned him, but he insisted. Andrew worked in a family apparel business all of his life. He knows the ropes, the fabrics, the threads, you name it. Last year at a bike show I introduced Bob and Jeff to Andrew and they came to me with a plan to kick off a 5-Ball Racing™Apparel Line.

The core leather garment, the very essence of the line was designed by Bob Kay who has been a rider all of his life and a major player in the custom motorcycle industry for as long as me—incredible, about 40-some years. Bob put all his experience with various major companies like Nempco, Biker’s Choice, and American Ironhorse, all of his product knowledge, and passion into this 5-Ball Racing™Special Ops leather vest.

This puppy fits. It has solid gun pockets (8 inches wide and 11 inches deep) on the inside and two deep zip pockets for your cell phone, glasses, or valuables. That’s four pockets inside concealed with our classic, durable 100-percent cotton twill plaid lining.

Sure, these puppies are made overseas, but everything else is handled here and that’s why we can deliver these puppies at a reasonable price for all you’re getting.

The exterior includes a heavy duty gun metal gray zipper front, bound leather neck trim and double needle seam construction. The garment exterior is high quality .9 mm leather.

Outside, every Special Ops Vest has six additional pockets, including two comfortable walking pockets, two classic flap pockets and two zip chest pockets.

The waist band has tightening flap snaps and our team has worked with this manufacturer for over six years. We are making every 5-Ball garment to do what it needs to do for riders and folks who use their shit in the wind for years.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to call Andrew at: 1 (888) 441-3331

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