Happy Goddamn New Years

Talk about a whacky year. Bikernet grew almost 200 percent in 2004,and we had a blast putting it together, although it became like publishing adaily. In the middle of the night we worked on articles, on Sundays, betweenfootball games, while we worked on bikes or dealt with the cops. It becameour mission to cover everything. Sin bitched at me for not documenting aproject in the garage, including my oil tank installation on the SturgisChopper Project. Hell, sometimes the welder’s buzzing, the grinder’sscreaming and I’m trying to plan an installation, make measurements, holdone part while I tack another and forget the digital camera. There’s timeswhen I’m covered in grease and run into her office to grab the camera andthere’s no memory card in it or the batteries are dead. I should wear abandelero of AA batteries constantly.

The site has grown thanks to all the readers and a number ofdedicated contributors I would like to mention including Rogue, FrankKaisler, Jose, Stealthman, Ken Miller, John Covington, George Fleming, RFR,Al Mroz, Bob & Chris Tronolone, Skooter, Jaqhama , Josh Griffith, Krylon John, Buster, Marilyn Bragg, Crazy Horse, Katmandu, Kevin Baas, the crew at Lucky Devils in Austin, Texas and many more I?ll think of after I?ve launched the news. There were dedicatedreaders such as Johnny, George Lamb (Thanks George), Concrete Pete, Fritz, Hiwayman, Art Parry, Uncle Monkey … Ofcourse we couldn’t launch articles in a timely fashion without the technicalassistance of the Digital Gangster and Brian Hale, our web server guy. Andwithout my babe, Layla, and her girlfriends, well you know. It just wouldn’t beworth while.

So it’s been nuts this year with our growth, Monster Garage, and nowthis Hot Bike gig. I’m writing this from my walled in office in a high risenext to Disneyland and the Anaheim Stadium. We can watch baseball games fromthe windows and fight the Anaheim pond traffic to reach the office. It’s adifferent world here from the LA port industrial enclave and the ricketyBikernet headquarters. Let’s hit the news then I’ll tell you about my plansfor 2005.

COUNT?S KUSTOMS SIGNS ON AS THE TITLE SPONSOR OF VEGAS SPRING RUN POKERWEEKEND 2005– $250,000 Poker Run WeekendDecember 24th, 2004 Las Vegas, Nevada – Count?s Kustoms of Las Vegas has signed on as the titlesponsor for ?Vegas Spring Run? ? to be held April 22 &23, 2005 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Count?s Kustomsand the famous Golden Nugget casino are the players of the event. ?We?ve been given no guidelines, norules, and no direction by the Las Vegas BikeFest Partnership and we intend to break all boundaries. LasVegas is ?our city? and we can?t think of a better relationship to build than the Vegas Spring Run?, saysDanny Koker, better known as ?The Count? and Owner of Count?s Kustoms.

?We are very excited about the support of Count?s Kustoms and their plans to build the giveaway custombike?, stated Harry Schwartz, President, Full Throttle Events, a member of the Las Vegas BikeFest

Partnership, producers of Vegas Spring Run. The Count added, ?This is going to be a kick-ass bike that fitsthe lifestyle of the high-rollers that will be participating in the Vegas Spring Run?. The bike expects to befitted with The Count?s signature chopper style, which in the past has attracted owners such as Vince Neilof Motley Crue, Ozzy Osbourne and Ultimate Fighter Matt Hughes.

Vegas Spring Run will be a two-day high-rollers? Poker Run unlike any event ever produced before. Inaddition to the chance to win $250,000, participants will enjoy a unique event that includes VIP parties,high-roller treatment, entertainment, custom motorcycle giveaway and some awesome Spring riding in theLas Vegas area.

The Count, owner and founder of Count?s Kustoms, is well known by the Las Vegas community as CountCool Rider, the ?eternally cool? vampire-host for Saturday Fright at the Movies on the WB network, whichhe hosted for 10 years. The 23,000 square foot facility in Las Vegas offers frame-up builds, paint, body andupholstery and houses a merchandise shop. In 2004, the shop has been featured in numerous magazinesworldwide such as Street Chopper and the Robb Report, as well as in television appearances on the SpeedNetwork and MTV.

For more information about Count?s Kustoms or learn more about the bike build, contact Count?s Kustomsat (702) 733.6216, http://www.countskustoms.com, or info@countskustoms.com

For more information about Vegas Spring Run, go to http://www.vegasspringrun.com, or emailpschwartz@schwartzeventgroup.com or call toll free (866) 245.3337. Vegas Spring Run is produced by theLas Vegas Bike Fest Partnership made up of ConvExx and Full Throttle Events.

For information about the Golden Nugget, please contact Sylke Neal-Finnegan at (702) 386.8107,http://www,goldennugget.com, or sfinnegan@goldennugget.com

Technical
Jeff O
Count?s Kustoms
2714 Highland Dr
Las Vegas, Nevada 89109
(702) 733.6216http://www.countskustoms.com
countskustoms@earthlink.net

Media Relations
Albert Ochosa
Rising Sun Media
1052 South 950 East #36
Provo, UT 84606
(415) 577.9394http://www.risingsunmedia.com
albert@risingsunmedia.com

BIKERNET STEALTH REPORT–Well it is New Year’s Eve, eve. For me personally I am glad to see ?o4 come to an end. It has been a tough year for “Meanest” and me. With that I am ready to say good bye to ?04 and hello to ?05.

The weather here has been in the mid 60’s and we are planning a ride for New Year’s day. What better way to ring in the New Year, so if you have a chance get on your bike and burn some asphalt.

I got a good job lead today and I am hoping it pans out. It is in the motorcycle industry and that is where I want to stay.

Looking back on ?04 it seems to have been a tough year for a lot of us in the biker community. We lost Indian Larry and Dave Mann. They would both want us to carry on the biker life style and to celebrate the way they lived.

As for ?05 there are a lot of events planned here in the Charlotte area. January 24th and 25th the Easyriders bike show comes to town. February 19th and 20th the Carolina Super Swap and Bike Show comes to town. June 24th and 25th the Horse Smoke-out comes to town. July 24th , it is time for the 7th Annual Run For Breath “In Memory of Justin Pullin.” It seems that their is a lot coming up for ?05!

It has been a blast here on Bikernet this past year. Thank you Mr. Bandit for allowing me to be a part of it!

Happy New Year to all the staff at Bikernet and to all of the Readers of Bikernet.

Until next time, RIDE!
STEALTHMAN

The Best and Worst of ’04–With 2004 on the way out, we thought we’d take a look back at the best and worst of the year that was, with the first annual AMADirectlink end-of-the-year awards. Not that anyone who wins will actually receive anything, we just thought it would be fun to give accolades or blame to some of the most memorable events in motorcycling over the last year.So without further ado, here are the winners, in no particular order.

The Trademark Lawyer Award for Most Overused Logo–Orange County Choppers takes this hands-down by virtue of having a weekly TV show, commercial endorsements, toys, a video game, coffee, the obligatory assorted apparel, cologne for men, and because Paul, Sr. said so.

The Chopper Builders Without a Publicist Award–With OCC taking so much of the spotlight, you?ve got to give a hand to the hundreds of other bike builders out there making do without the benefit of a TV show. Our local favorite is Bruce Mullins, who continually creates works of art by combining the old-school look with new and inventive styling.

The Austin Powers Award for Restored Mojo–The Triumph Thruxton, with a retro look that actually works really well, too. You can even race it in AHRMA.

The Don’t You Guys Have Anything Better To Do Award–The U.N. declares that traffic deaths and injuries worldwide are an epidemic that needs to be treated as a disease.

The Daffy Duck Revoltin’ Development Award–Scumbags overseas are trying to rip off American motorcyclists over the internet by buying bikes with phony checks, or offering for sale motorcycles that don’t exist.

The First Annual Bill Janklow Award for Incredible Arrogance?Goes to former South Dakota governor and congressman Bill Janklow. Not only did Janklow brag about his speeding while governor, but after serving 100 days in jail for speeding through a stop sign in a Cadillac and killing a motorcyclist, he’s asking the courts to overturn his conviction. Plus, since he was a congressman at the time of the crash, taxpayers will pick up the tab for any civil damages in a wrongful-death lawsuit.

The Miss Clio Award for easy predictions–Whatever happened to Miss Clio, anyway? No matter, since even the infamous TV “psychic” could have picked the champions of several AMA Pro Racing disciplines. Hats off to a trio of racers who have gotten so good they make the difficult task of taking a national title look easy: Mat Mladin in AMA Superbike; Chris Carr (below) in AMA Progressive Insurance Flat Track; and Ricky Carmichael in AMA motocross (despite a knee injury that kept him out of Supercross).

The Saturday Night Live’s Emily Litella “Oh. Never mind.” Award, Part I–After hearing from upset motorcyclists, a California assemblyman sponsoring a helmet-law repeal bill withdrew an amendment to the bill that could have forced motorcyclists to become organ donors against their will. The amendment said that anyone who chose not to wear a helmet “is deemed to have consented to the making of an anatomical gift under this act?”

The Saturday Night Live’s Emily Litella “Oh. Never mind.” Award, Part II–A Chicago Sun-times columnist characterized motorcyclists as organ donors. Motorcyclists weren’t amused, and let him know. As a result, a week later he later wrote: “Every once in a while, in my endearing, oblivious fashion, I swing my journalistic bat and hit a wasp’s nest,” and “As much as I believe that everybody should sign up to be an organ donor?I do and have?it has to be voluntary. We don’t want the government seizing people’s organs against their will.”

The Saturday Night Live’s Emily Litella “Oh. Never mind.” Award, Part III–Thanks to a new mayor who rides a motorcycle, and a revamped City Council, motorcycles are now allowed in Thompson Park in East Liverpool, Ohio, which had a bike ban for many years. Motorcyclists today “are not yesterday’s rebels with or without a cause,” a new councilwoman notes.

The Best State to hold an AMA Supermoto Race Award–Hands down, it’s got to be Nevada. The Silver State played host to not one, but two Supermoto races in ’04, and both were absolutely killer. The Reno round was held right in the middle of downtown, with the racecourse going right in front of the courthouse. And the people lining the track all the way around were the friendliest locals you’ll ever meet at a racetrack. Then there was the Las Vegas finale, held at Bally’s. The glitz of Vegas is the perfect backdrop for the spectacle of Supermoto. Two thumbs up.

The Ponch and Jon Award for the Best Use of Cable TV–Never before have there been so many shows dedicated to motorcycling. Because of that, or due to that, America?s living rooms have discovered what we?ve known all along?motorcycles are cool.

Rockers and Mods Award for Finding a Middle Ground–In 1960s England, we’re told by movies like “Quadrophenia” and “The Leather Boys,” two-wheeled teens fell into two distinct camps?mods rode Vespas and Lambrettas, and rockers rode actual motorcycles. Naturally, for no good reason, the two groups were sworn enemies. Fast forward a few decades to today, and the line between the two types of two-wheeled transport has blurred considerably. This year, we saw scooter giant Piaggio buy up such well-known motorcycle marques as Moto Guzzi and Aprilia, while proper motorcycle companies like Suzuki and Honda are bringing out large scooters like the Burgman and the Silver Wing. It gets harder and harder to find the line between scooters and motorcycles when they keep moving it all the time.

The Close But No Cigar-Shaped Streamliner Award–Sam Wheeler’s E-Z Hook motorcycle streamliner may be the fastest two-wheeler on the planet, with two recorded runs at more than 334 mph on the Bonneville Salt Flats, but thanks to tricky winds at the first International Motorcycle Speed Trials sponsored by Bub in September, the easy-going Wheeler wasn’t able to put in the required second run that would have made that speed an official world record in the eyes of the Federation Internationale de Motocyclisme. He was so close, though. So close. Expect to see the record fall for sure in ’05’s second edition. We’re pulling for you, Sam!

The “Use the Force, Luke” Award–Actors Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman, two motorcycle nuts who used their connections to equip themselves for their around-the-world trip with a cameraman, two support trucks carrying two producers, a doctor, and a native language-speaking “fixer” in each country to handle problems?all of which led 50 percent of the motorcycling television audience to say, “That’s not an around-the-world tour, it’s a parade!”

The Best Use of Obi-Wan Kenobi Starpower Award–Also goes to McGregor and Boorman, who got the film of their journey, “Long Way Round,” on the Bravo channel?leading the other 50 percent to proclaim their gratitude for a motorcycle show on TV that wasn’t about choppers or dysfunctional families dedicated to bolting on chrome accessories.

The Most Impressive Uphill Struggle Award–Chad Disbennett takes this by winning the 2004 AMA Hillclimb Championship presented by Pace American with incredible perseverance, admitted luck and a well-tuned 70s-era 800cc Triumph.

Best Post-Orbit Debriefing Plan–After exploring the final frontier, astronaut and AMA Life Member Duane ?Digger? Carey wins for his plans to explore the planet he floated around. Carey hopes to tour the United States, and eventually the world, by motorcycle.

? 2004, American Motorcyclist Association

Rogue

Damm, it was cold this morning…I think my face is going to fall off…

Storm out there brewing…And I got the week off…

Bob T

GOT ANY PLANS IN MAY?–Hey Bandit, After doing my homework, I came up with the following events that will take place in May ’05. As you can see, May 13-22 is the Myrtle Beach rally and we should not schedule anything during that rally. I propose that we have the party on either May 7, 8, 28, or the 29th. Please let me know your thoughts.

Thanx,
Rick

May ’05 Motorcycle Events

May 01 – May 01 2005 Biker Blessing Tionesta PA USA
May 01 – May 01 2005 Plymouth Bike Blessing Plymouth MN USA
May 07 – May 07 2005 Steve Bartlett Memorial Ride Fayetteville TN USA
May 07 – May 08 2005 The Thundersprint Northwich England
May 12 – May 14 2005 Thunder on the River North Little Rock AR USA
May 13 – May 22 2005 Cruisin’ The Coast Spring Rally Myrtle Beach SC USA
May 13 – May 15 2005 Hawg Holler Bike Fest Atwood TN USA
May 13 – May 15 2005 May Daze Oklahoma City OK USA
May 13 – May 13 2005 Friday the 13th Port Dover ON Canada
May 14 – Sep 14 2005 Wind Blown: American MC Fine Art Marietta GA USA
May 14 – May 14 2005 Cruisin’ with St. Jude’s Conyers GA USA
May 15 – May 15 2005 Ride For Kids(r) Torrance CA USA
May 17 – May 23 2005 Indian Rally at Indian Point Branson MO USA
May 19 – May 22 2005 AspenCash Ruidoso NM USA
May 19 – May 22 2005 Branson Motorcycle Rally Branson MO USA
May 20 – May 23 2005 Wakin’ the Dragon Biker Rally Maryville TN USA
May 20 – May 21 2005 Spring Bike Show Milwaukee WI USA
May 20 – May 22 2005 All American Motorcycle Madness Santa Maria CA USA
May 20 – May 22 2005 Blessing of Bike Festival – 33rd Baldwin MI USA
May 21 – May 21 2005 Blanco Lions Poker Run Blanco TX USA
May 21 – May 21 2005 Wind Blown: March of Dimes Ride Marietta GA USA
May 22 – May 22 2005 Ride for Life Sussex NJ USA
May 26 – May 29 2005 NABB 2K5 2-Wheel Urban Expo Myrtle Beach SC USA
May 27 – May 30 2005 Mid America Freedom Rally Buckhorn/Waynesville MO USA
May 27 – May 30 2005 Fire Up ThundR Out VI La Plata MD USA
May 27 – May 30 2005 Harley Memorial Day Blowout 23rd Gulfport MS USA
May 27 – May 29 2005 Memorial to Veterans Biker Bash North Anson ME USA
May 27 – May 29 2005 Run-A-Mucca Motorcycle Rally Winnemucca NV USA
May 28 – May 28 2005 Thunder Heart II – Poker Run La Plata MD USA
May 28 – May 28 2005 Motorcycles 4 Myelin 2nd Annual Port Perry ON Canada
May 29 – May 29 2005 Rolling Thunder(r) XVIII Washington DC USA

2004 Cocoa Beach Biker Bash– On Nov. 20, 2004, on a pleasant Florida Saturday night, as they have been for the past seven years, the Warlocks of Brevard County, Florida threw their Cocoa Beach Biker Bash. The hurricanes were past, the pressure was off…it was time to party!

Over 800 bros and sisters; patch holders and independents, mixed in with a few yuppies, gathered at Capt. J?s in Cocoa Beach – right ON the beach – to party, and all for a good cause…Big Brothers-Big Sisters of Brevard County, and organization which hooks up with troubled young people, one on one, to help them over the rough spots and assure them a decent start in life.

This year, the sum of $13,100 was realized as a result of the generosity of all the guests and the many sponsors who helped. Live bands, plenty to eat and drink, a beautiful ocean-side setting…all the makin?s of a good party…and it was!! Keep this one in mind for 2005.

Wanna know more…?

Miserable George

Continued On Page 2

Continued From Page 2

COP P0SING AS BIKER USES DIGUSTING DISGUISE–It wasn’t too difficult for protesters at the Republican National Convention to figure out that a group of bikers following them around were actually undercover cops, but in a misguided effort to conceal his identity, one officer wore a provocative sticker on his helmet that has led to an even louder protest. “Loud Wives Lose Lives,” was the officer’s choice of slogan, a play on a popular biker saying, but the crowd wasn’t amused.

According to the New York Times, armed with a photo of the officer, the New York Civil Liberties Union has sent a letter to the police commissioner asking that “prompt action be taken” to address the matter, especially given several recent deadly episodes of domestic violence against women in the New York region.

But to the New York Police Department, wearing the sticker was a routine part of undercover work. “It’s like saying that an undercover narcotics officer who wears a coke spoon is promoting cocaine use when just the opposite is true,” said Paul J. Browne, the department’s chief spokesman.

It is the latest episode in the back and forth between civil libertarians and the police as the courts wrestle with the handling of protesters before, during and after the convention.

“It’s unfortunate that the Police Department is taking that position,” said Donna Lieberman, the executive director of the New York Civil Liberties Union. “Whatever his function, there is no excuse for a police officer on official business to be a proponent of domestic violence or other violence against women. There are other ways to disguise yourself without this hateful message.”

In their letter to the Police Department, the civil liberties lawyers asked that the message, and any similar ones, be removed from police equipment and that those responsible be disciplined. Referring to the controversial sticker, Mr. Browne said, “Undercover officers often adopt personas to include garb that reflects neither their personal nor the department’s sentiments but to reinforce the guise that they are not police officers.” He added that “offensive as this saying is,” it is not uncommon in “misogynistic biker slang emblazoned on clothing, jewelry and equipment.”

In this case, though, the attempt to avoid being recognized as a police officer appears to have failed. According to one witness, a high school teacher named Mike Schwartz, the march “was followed by a group of undercover cops on motorcycles who looked like they belonged in a bad biker movie,” highlighting the officer with the offensive sticker.

Roguehttp:// http://www.bikerrogue.com

A little gift of humor for you. hope all is well with you and yours! from all us Lucky Devils out here happy holidays !!!

The Devil

Prickly Pear Cactus Offers Hope for the Hungover–New Orleans, LA ? If a hangover is holding you back from another heavy night of drinking, the prickly pear cactus may be your answer.

A study with 55 subjects ranging from 21-35 years of age, conducted by Tulane Health Sciences Center in New Orleans, discovered that extracts from the cactus may dramatically reduce the common hangover.

Half the study subjects were given extracts of Opuniea ficus indica (a type of the prickly pear cactus) and the other half were given a placebo, then encouraged to get drunk on one of an array of alcohols, including bourbon, scotch, rum, vodka, gin, and tequila.

The following morning the subjects who received the extract reported milder hangovers than those receiving the placebo.

Researchers says the extract works by reducing levels of C-reactive proteins by 40 percent. C-reactive proteins are produced by the liver while converting alcohol to blood sugar and are thought to be partly responsible for hangovers.

A commercial versions of the hangover remedy, in the form of pills reinforced with B vitamins, will soon be available to consumers.

Rogue

National ID may be in the cards–
Lance Gay/Scripps Howard News Service | December 17 2004
WASHINGTON – Privacy advocates worry that provisions buried in the intelligence bill President Bush is to sign Friday will lead to a national identification card.

Little-noted measures included in the legislation that reshuffles intelligence agencies order states to begin issuing new fraud-proof birth certificates, and new driver’s licenses with standardized data encoded on them are set for 2006.

The legislation also orders states to stop putting Social Security numbers on licenses.

What data will be included on licenses and how it will be used in federal databanks is not yet clear. The legislation only requires the data to be “machine readable,” leaving the issue of what data to collect to the Department of Transportation and the Department of Homeland Security. Regulations concerning fraud-proofing birth certificates are to be drafted by the Department of Heath and Human Services.

“There’s a problem,” said Marc Rotenberg, a Georgetown University law professor who serves as executive director of the Electronic Privacy Information Center, a Washington think tank.

“There are two directions they can go here. One is to reduce the likelihood of fraud and counterfeiting of driver’s licenses, which we all would applaud. Or they could link this all together in a new national database, which is what they should not do.”

Rotenberg called the measure “not quite half a step towards a national identification card” because its full impact has not yet been determined.

The bill, which Congress adopted earlier this month after stripping out controversial immigration provisions, carries out key recommendations of the 9/11 Commission, including establishing standards for birth certificates and driver’s licenses.

But James Plummer of the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse noted that all but one of the 19 hijackers on 9/11 had valid American identification – including driver’s licenses – and that the changes Congress has ordered wouldn’t prevent terrorists from obtaining the new and more secure documents.

“This is a bunch of troubling language,” said Plummer. “I don’t think this solves the issue at all.”

Plummer said he’s concerned that the measure, for the first time, sets federal standards on documents like birth certificates and driver’s licenses that traditionally have been matters for states to decide.

The legislation states that within two years, U.S. government employees won’t accept any driver’s licenses or birth certificates issued by the states that don’t comply with the new fraud-proof requirements. That means drivers from states that don’t comply with the new requirements will be unable to use their state licenses as identification to get past federal airport screeners and board an aircraft.

“It’s definitely crossing over into a national ID system, something this country hasn’t seen before and something that was more a feature of Eastern European systems during the Cold War,” he said.

Plummer said it raises privacy concerns because driver’s licenses are used today in determining eligibility to conduct many routine activities. It is a basic document used by Americans to vote, buy guns, open bank accounts, cash checks and check into hotels.

Organizations ranging from the American Civil Liberties Union to the American Conservative Union to the Gun Owners of America oppose the measure, saying it would give too much power to federal bureaucrats to decide who could get a valid license.

Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas, has concerns about where this could all lead.

“History shows governments inevitably use such power in harmful ways,” Paul said. “It is just a matter of time until those who refuse to carry the new licenses will be denied the ability to drive or board an airplane.”

Rogue

BIKERNET PRODUCT OF THE WEEK FROM KIRK?S CUSTOMS–Kirk’s Customs is proud to announce it’s new Stretched Diamond LEDTaillight/Tag bracket. The unit is designed to be mounted to the outerprimary case, the kicker is this, It is designed to use 4 different mounting options that allow for mounting to all of the following applications:

Starter Jackshaft cover on a 3″ BDL open belt drive
Starter Jackshaft cover on a Primo open belt drive
Stock ’94-up softail outer primary cover
Stock ’94-up softail 5 hole derby cover

The unit sells for $196.00 and is the same price no matter which mount is desired. All specific hardware for each mounting option is included.

We also do One-Off billet parts too! for around the same cost as off-the-shelf parts!

Keep a look out for us, coming in ’05 will be a line of forward controls and several styles of handlebars and risers.

Dealer inquiries welcome.http://www.kirkscustoms.com

Catalog update from Penz–PETER PENZ Original Custombikes has issued an update to its last catalog, listing important new product lines.’Evil Spirit’ is a radical custom frame that can be built as a chopper or a low rider. Similar to the ‘Flash’ frame from Penz, Evil Spirit features a single down tube and revised geometry to give a new, low look as well as a very low seat height. It can be supplied as a basic kit, a chassis or a roller, all with T?V approval.

‘Big Mama’ and ‘Big Daddy’ are right-side drive conversion kits in different styles for installing wide rear tires (up to 300-series) in Softail frames.

Both conversions have T?V certification.

New models of fenders are listed, for both front and rear wheels. The ‘Bison’ range for the rear wheel is offered in sizes suitable for tires up to 300-series.

A new chopper gas tank has been announced, with sufficient hollow space to be cut to length to fit individual frames. Deep mounting holes in the base of the tank help provide a clean look to the finished bike. The tank is supplied complete with two suitable mounts and a pop-up gas cap.The ‘Gnu’ handlebar assembly is made from stainless steel tubing to give a ‘fat’ look but to fit 1in series hand controls. It is supplied complete with a cover to fit a Dakota digital speedometer. There are various options for the basic dimensions of the bars and they can be supplied in raw, primed or polished finishes.

PETER PENZ ORIGINAL CUSTOMBIKES
Altheim, AUSTRIA
Tel: +43 (0)7723 44690
Fax: +43 (0)7723 44691
E-mail: info@penz-custombikes.com
http://www.penz-custombikes.com

THE AVON LADY — An Avon lady was alone in an elevator when suddenly she had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with an Avon Pine Scented deodorizer.

Two floors later, a gentleman got on the elevator. He began to sniff, and the Avon lady asked, “Do you smell something?”

“Well, yes I do,” he replied.

“What does it smell like? “she asked.

The bemused gentleman answered, “I’m not sure, but it kind of smells like someone shit under a Christmas tree”.

Bob T.

LESSON IN HYDRODYNAMIC LUBRICATION–The film of oil between two moving surfaces such as a crankshaft to a bearing can be described in several phases: boundary lubrication, mixed lubrication, hydrodynamic lubrication and elasto-hydrodynamic lubrication. For purposes of this description the properties we are going to be most concerned with are hydrodynamic lubrication and boundary lubrication.

Hydrodynamic lubrication is the lubrication that is achieved by the movement of the oil. The rotation of the crankshaft forces the lubricant to move into the loaded zone of the bearing/crankshaft. As the oil is forced to move into this loaded zone, the pressure increases and it is this hydrodynamic pressure that supports the crankshaft load. As the load increases the oil film thickness is reduced while increasing the hydrodynamic pressure increases the oil film thickness. Hydrodynamic lubrication is present when two components (crankshaft/connecting rods and bearings) are moving at high RPM. The only property of a lubricant that is important in hydrodynamic lubrication is its viscosity. However, viscosity can vary due to the operating parameters of an engine such as pressure/load, temperature and shear forces.

Boundary lubrication exists whenever the oil film thickness becomes too small to provide a film separation of the surfaces. The oil film has become so thin that there is no hydrodynamic lubrication. This is where the properties of a motor oil, other than the viscosity are very important.

Boundary lubrication can occur when the oil viscosity is too low, the crankshaft speed is too low or the load on the bearing/crankshaft is too high. It can also occur if there is a partial loss of lubricant to the bearing.

Motor oils have to be formulated to provide adequate lubrication and protection during both hydrodynamic lubrication in which the viscosity is the prime consideration and also during boundary lubrication in which the presence of anti-wear and load carrying additives are required.

If the boundary lubrication properties of a motor oil are satisfactory, the oil will perform properly. However, the problem becomes how to engineer a particular oil such that it will maintain the required properties for the specific period of service it is specified for during which time it will be subjected to extreme heat, load, unburned fuel, soot, acid, oxides of nitrogen, water and wear metals and contaminants introduced into the engine from the engines air intake.

The next lubrication training email will address the specifics of exactly what happens to a motor oil during use in an internal combustion engine and what properties are required such that the oil will provide adequate protection.

Sincerely,

Dave Mann
Lubrication Specialist – Truck/Automotive Engineer
Performance Oil Technology, L.L.C.
1-888-879-1362
Detroit Office:
2125 Newport Ct.
Wolverine Lake, MI 48390
Northern Office:
3698 Leeside Lane
Traverse City, MI 49686http://www.performanceoiltechnology.comAOL usersclick here

SEVEN DEGREES OF BLONDE–

FIRST DEGREE A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!” and hung up. The husband said, “Who was that?” The wife said, “I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.”

SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, “Hmm, this person looks familiar.” The second blonde says, “Here, let me see!” So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror & says,”You dummy, it’s me!”

THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun,and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it!!!” The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”

FOURTH DEGREE A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, “Go ahead and ask me, I know all of them.” A friend says, “OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?” The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy: W.

FIFTH DEGREE What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? “Is it mine?”

SIXTH DEGREE Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, “That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware..”

SEVENTH DEGREE Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.”

From Bob T.

WAL-MART–
Two guys are wandering about in Wal-Mart when their carts collide.

One says to the other:

Sorry, I was looking for my wife.

Yeah, so am I, and I’m getting kinda ticked.

Well, let’s help each other out

What’s your wife look like?

“Kinda tall, long red hair, long legs, good boobs, tight butt.

What’s yours look like?”

“Never mind, let’s look for yours.

Bob T.

BANDIT–This is the best yet, it will take your breath away……………………

Turn Sound up!!!

Great stuff……… I only hope that someday they will receive just compensation and reward for the great debt owed them……….http://www.clermontyellow.accountsupport.com/flash/UntilThen.swf

This is my Christmas Card for this year. Ho, baby, hi di ho…

Josh P.

ADULT NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS–
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude.
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we’d built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.
Sure as I’m speaking, he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team, but it didn’t sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I’ll cut off your nuts.
Look out for the lamp post, and don’t hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, ’cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
“That was some brothel,” he said with a smile,
“The reindeer are pooped, and I’ll just stay here awhile.
He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.
A box filled with condoms was Santa’s next find,
And a six pack of panties, the edible kind.
A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several other things that I shouldn’t even mention.
A fuck ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.
“This stuff ain’t for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit
So I’ll leave ’em here, and then I’ll just split.”
He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,
Saying, “Take me home Rudolph, this night’s been a bitch!”
The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
“The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!”

Rogue

BIKERNET GRADE SCHOOL LESSON–
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word

“Fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word “fascinate, not fascinating”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word “fascinate.”

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate”, so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.”

The teacher cried.

S&S Cycle receives official verification from TUV ? Germany–VIOLA, WI (December 20, 2004) During a recent audit of S&S’ facilities in Viola and La Crosse, WI, ‘Quality Systems’ have met the required criteria for verification in accordance with TUV CERT procedures.

The official document, dated December 20, 2004, states the following:

S&S Cycle, Inc. has introduced and applies a Quality Management System for the following groups of objects: Engines/Exhaust Systems (01) and Steelframes (05). The Quality Management System is in accordance with the requirements of international and German road traffic legislation. The Audit Report No. is 20662508. This confirmation bearing the Registration No. 04102 20041804 is valid until December 19, 2007.

“S&S Cycle’s quality systems are above average and currently exceed the normal requirements to receive verification from TUV”, said engineering consultant Dieter Schleier. “We are excited to support our European customers by exceeding the stringent requirements of TUV Germany, which sets the standard for the European community,” added S&S President Brett Smith. “Since my first trip to Europe this past June, I knew this was a critical threshold for our support of the European market. S&S is pleased to have met the regulatory standards for TUV on our first attempt and it is a credit to our world-class product development and manufacturing processes.”

TUV sets the standard for safety and quality for new and existing products, systems, and services for the European community, with Germany having the most stringent requirements. This TUV verification gives S&S Cycle even more credibility in the European market as business continues to expand internationally.

A copy of this verification certificate can be viewed online at www.sscycle.com in the ‘press release’ page.

BIKERNET TIPS ON HOLIDAY EATING–

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like in single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoyit. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention.

Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

That?s It For The News– Everyone is buzzing around here in preparation for Christmas. I?m excited cause I got my windows installed today?yippee! Best present yet.

I hope you all enjoy your weekend with your family and friends. Say a prayer for our loved ones in Iraq, who cannot celebrate this Holiday season with us. I?ll be praying for my nephew who?s headed back for the second time in two years.

Oh, and don’t forget to have all your pals join the Cantina. It’s only 5 bucks for a year. Hell, it’s cheaper than a stinkin’ oil filter. One problem. Oil filters, filter and we don’t. Join anyway, quick.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Layla & Bandit

Continued From Page 1

LEE PARKS DESIGN RIDING GLOVES–
ByTBear
Renowned Motorcycle Endurance Race Rider, Lee Parks started racing in 1984 on the frozen lakes of the Midwest with an RM80-based ice racer. Since then, Lee has participated in just about every form of road and off-road motorcycle competition and recently earned his first national championship in the 2001 G.M.D. Computrack WERA National Endurance Series in the Lightweight class. Lee also earned the #2 plate in the 1994 AMA 125GP nationals.

Relying on his experience as a racer, Lee Parks Design has introduced a line of fine Deer & Elk skin racing and touring gloves for the serious rider back in 2001. The newest addition to the line up are the long gauntlet style, dual Velcro closures DEERSPORTS.

Palms made from natural 2.7oz. Deerskin reinforced with 4oz. Elkskin backs, knuckle & palm pads for maximum protection and wear, the gloves feature double stitching in the 4 seams to make the gloves stronger wearing and tear resistant. Manufactured in the U.S.A. the gloves are designed for both street and the racetrack, comfort, function and durability are built right in.

They feature the new OUTLAST INSULATION. OUTLAST is a revolutionary phase-changing material. It’s designed to change properties based on temperature so the colder it is the warmer they keep your hands, Correspondingly, when it’s warm the gloves wick moisture away from the skin. These gloves are the ONLY gloves designed to work well with heated grips. The gloves are custom fitted using a detailed chart on the http://leeparksdesign.com/ web site.

We tried out a pair of the new insulated models on a cold Upstate NY December night ride and they preformed superbly. Maximum grip and comfort were slightly out shadowed by the fact that we could actually still feel our fingers after a 3-hour ride. Forget about wearing 2 pair of gloves or those cumbersome electric hand toasters. A pair of these beauties will do you right for the entire riding season no matter what conditions you may find yourself in. The $179.95 price will seem well worth it when you can feel your fingers at sub-freezing temperatures.

The gloves are available exclusively http://leeparksdesign.com/ or by calling Lee Parks directly at 1-800 943-5638.

PRO QUAD CHOPPER– PRO ONE has just announced their latest version of the revolutionary PRO QUAD CHOPPER frame. This updated design mates all the benefits of the original PRO QUAD along with a more radical chopper stance. Standard features include Chrome Billet 4-Link Swingarm, Rear Axle, Solid Trans Mount, Pointed Top Motor Mount and Polished Swingarm Pivot and Rock Guard. Frame tube size is 1 ?? and standard stretch and rake measurements are 5? in the top tube, 6? front legs and 40 degree in the neck. All mounting tabs and brackets are precision CNC machined. The chassis accepts EVO engines with strokes up to 4 ??. PRO QUAD CHOPPER is designed specifically for popular 250 tires and strutless fender applications.

For complete details contact your local PRO ONE dealer or call 800-884-4173. On the web at http://www.pro-one.com

A friend sent this.Said it was seen at Manhattan Beach, Ca.

Rogue

RAMBLINGS OF A RETIREES MIND–I was thinking bout how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can’t afford one. So, I’m wearing my garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is ‘when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it’.

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it “Pumping Rust.”

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, “No, it’s for company!”

Employment application blanks always ask ‘who is to be notified in case of an emergency.’ I think you should write, “A Good Doctor!”

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do — write to these men? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me; they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.

Nick Roberts

STEALTH REPORT–Well it is Christmas Eve’s, eve! The year is winding down real fast. It has been a couple of weeks since I sent a report in. I?m sorry for that I have had a lot going on. Hang on while I tell you all about it!

I took a job a couple of weeks ago and the job lasted only a couple of weeks or I maybe I should say I could only stand it that long! There was an ad for a parts manager job in the paper at a Jap bike shop or to be politcally correct a “Metric” bike shop. I applied and really did not think I would get an offer. Well they called and offered me the job and I thought about it and came to the conclusion that I would give it a try. I figured no harm in trying.

So I went to work there and it took me all of about an hour to decide this was not for me. You got dirt bikes, you got 4 wheelers, you got sport bikes, you got touring bikes, you got street bikes and all the different brands, Yamaha, Kawasaki, Suzuki, and Honda and if that was not enough to keep up with you have about a hundred brands of helmets and dirt bike riding apparel to also keep up with. I am sorry but I out grew this stuff a long time ago!

Not only was the product completely different, the riders were too! These guys will spend up to $700 on a helmet and could care less about their bikes. They were more interested in the latest helmet than anything else. All the jackets were lined with “body armour.” That is right BODY ARMOUR! They don’t look comfortable and I tried one on and I felt like a Knight from the days of King Arthur! It was stiff and bulky and abrasive. It was unreal, like I was on another planet!

The riders of these bikes seem to only be interested in doing “12 o’clock” wheelies and “stopies”,I guess I spelled that right? In doing these stunts most of the bikes I saw had the tail sections broken off from the wheelies. I just didn’t get it?

We cherish our bikes, whether it be a Harley or a ground up custom with an aftermarket engine; They are part of our heart and soul. These guys know nothing about this and treat their bikes like a throw away cell phone.

On top of all of this the shop had a T.V. that played DVD’s all day showing wheelies, stopies, crashes, and the “MAN” pulling them over for their dumb stunts. They also showed all the road rash that came along with the stunts that went bad. Any body out there proud of road rash or thought it was fun while you were getting it? It is nothing wrong with having fun but this was just stupidity at it’s highest level. All of these so-called stunts were done on the open highway with traffic all around, and they say “Harley Riders are the bad guys!” I guess that depends on your definition of bad.

So after two weeks I called it quits. I couldn’t do it or take it any longer. I just could not keep doing something that I did not believe in. So I am unemployed again. I have already put a bullet in the gun and told “THE MEANEST” to shoot me with it if I ever think about taking a job at a “Metric” bike shop again!

Oh by the way “The Meanest” and I would like to wish everyone at Bikernet headquarters and all the readers a Very Merry Christmas!

Until next time!

STEALTHMAN

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM ROGUE–I would like to wish everyone a Happy Holiday and a Very Good New Year.Thank All of You That Are My Friends as You Have Made My Life Better By Knowing You.

Those of you that I have not met yet do not be a stranger.

ROGUE

INDIAN IN HAMBURG–Hey guys, I was in Hamburg, Germany last week for some function. While I was walking around town, I saw this beautiful Indian.

As it was freezing cold (it is winter) and I was rushing, I did not stay long enough to wait for the owner. I linger around for half an hour and that was it. I realize that I should’ve taken more photos (better photos) but this is all I could manage as I myself was beginning to attract crowd.

As I can’t jolly well move the car nor the bicycle, they are there in the photo.

Enjoy.
Nazry

Nude Biker Doing Wheelie–It’s no wonder that motorcycle fatality statistics are on the increase when you consider the rising popularity of “extreme” street riding, with sport bike riders performing wheelies, stoppies and other high speed antics on public roadways, often hot-dogging for the camera. Holding It Big Entertainment specializes in filming such street stunts, but the company president is now facing charges of reckless endangerment and negligent driving stemming from a rider’s fatal wheelie.

On Sept 12, 21-year-old Shaun P. Matlock of Frederick, MD died when he was performing a wheelie, riding without pants, and crashed into a tow truck parked on US 340. Matlock’s bike and helmet bore logos reading “Holding It Big”, and the president of the Baltimore-based company, Benjamin M. Meacham, 22, of Frederick, was allegedly driving in a nearby vehicle videotaping the fatal ride, and then later erased the tape before police could confiscate it. He was charged under a provision stating that anyone who induces, causes, coerces, permits or directs another person to commit a traffic violation also is guilty of the violation, Frederick County State’s Attorney Scott Rolle said.

Another bare-bottomed rider, Brandon M. Edwards, 21, of Ijamsville, who also was allegedly doing wheelies for the camera, was charged Sept. 20 with reckless driving, negligent driving, driving on a learner’s permit without the required supervision, and indecent exposure. Trooper David Ward, who investigated the case, said the only explanation he has heard for the lack of pants was “they wanted to do something they didn’t think anybody had done before.”

Rogue

TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2004… according to Reader’s Digest: —

Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat….she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.”

Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”

AND NOW, FOR THE #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for your not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

Vern

Continued On Page 3

Let me start by wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and sincere hopes that 2005 will be a great year for you all.

It?s an ongoing effort to keep up with what?s new in the industry and get it to you in record time. A pleasurable effort I might add but an effort nonetheless. Which brings me to the changes we?ve made and the changes to come.

In order to exist, we?ve been soliciting advertisers on Bikernet from day one, which some people complain about. They don?t want to see ads. However, we got bills just like everyone else. Now that our numbers are so high, we?re shifting gears and reaching out to our readers. We want to keep the site generally free, and you can help.

In the past we?ve played with different prices for the Cantina, then finally settled on $24.95 per year, plus a free copy of Orwell. But now we’re lowering the price to a stinkin’ $5 bucks a year and hope everyone joins so that we can continue to behave in the ill-mannered fashion you?re accustom to.

So, our new campaign is ?Support Bikernet.com?. Join the Cantina for $5 bucks a year; it?s cheaper than a beer at Hard Rock, more enjoyable than a coffee from Starbucks (cheaper too) and more informative than a Borders Bookstore. Well, maybe not, but cheaper.

You get the picture? enjoy the news.

TOP GUN SMOKES MONSTER GARAGE– World?s fastest Street Harley goes Hollywood and 181 MPH!
If you weren?t fortunate enough to have caught the October 11, 2004 episode of the Discovery Channel?s hugely popular Monster Garage you really need to purchase a copy of the video. The Carl?s Speed Shop team of Carl Morrow, Doug Morrow and Serg Torres were among several industry celebrities enlisted for this entertaining and informative episode. But, what really made the show worth watching was when Doug rolled TOP GUN out of the trailer and lit the thing up.

This is the bike that has attained the title of World?s Fastest Street Harley-Davidson on no less than 14 occasions. Not only did he fire the bike but also after a short warm up, he rolled around the corner onto the city streets of Long Beach and dropped the hammer. Locals must have thought a 737 had missed the runway at Long Beach International Airport as buildings vibrated, animals ran for cover and the street went up in smoke. Viewers were treated to one hellacious, block long burnout. When the bike came to a standstill, the rear tire was completely shredded! It was enough to make your hair stand on end while painting a dramatic and vivid picture of just how potent this machine really is.

Doug?s Godzilla burnout was just a preview of things to come. Shortly after the Discovery Channel shoot, TOP GUN was strapped back into Carl?s race garage on wheels, and headed for the Maxton Mile in North Carolina. At Maxton the team swapped gears, changed the rubber and sent Doug on his way to setting an astounding 8 new records. Most noteworthy of the record passes was Doug?s official speed of 181.03188 MPH following a first half pass at 181.99455 MPH in PG-3000/4. That my friends is one awesome feat for a street legal Harley. How long will it stand? Probably not long.

With Serg and Carl tuning, Doug handling the throttle and major tech input and sponsorship from Rivera Engineering and Bassani Exhaust, TOP GUN is sure to make even this mind boggling record, old news in the near future.

Carl?s Speed Shop provides high performance products and services for all Harley-Davidson, and H-D clone powered machines. Located in Daytona Beach, Florida, Carl?s can be contacted at 388-258-3777 or visit them on the Web athttp://www.carlsspeedshop.com.

THE SANDS OF CHRISTMAS– I had no Christmas spirit when I breathed a weary sigh,
and looked across the table where the bills were piled too high.
The laundry wasn’t finished and the car I had to fix,
My stocks were down another point, the Dolphins lost by six.

And so with only minutes till my son got home from school,
I gave up on the drudgery and grabbed a wooden stool.
The burdens that I carried were about all I could take,
and so I flipped the TV on to catch a little break.

I came upon a desert scene in shades of tan and rust,
No snowflakes hung upon the wind, just clouds of swirling dust.
And where the reindeer should have stood before a laden sleigh,
eight hummers ran a column right behind an M1A.

A group of boys walked past the tank, not one was past his teens,
Their eyes were hard as polished flint, their faces drawn and lean.
They walked the street in armor with their rifles shouldered tight,
their dearest wish for Christmas, just to have a silent night.

Other soldiers gathered, hunkered down against the wind,
To share a scrap of mail and dreams of going home again.
There wasn’t much at all to put their lonely hearts at ease,
They had no Christmas turkey, just a pack of MRE’s.

They didn’t have a garland or a stocking I could see,
They didn’t need an ornament– they lacked a Christmas Tree.
They didn’t have a present even though it was tradition,
the only boxes I could see were labeled “ammunition”.

I felt a little tug and found my son now by my side,
He asked me what it was I feared, and why it was I cried.
I swept him up into my arms and held him oh so near
and kissed him on the forehead as I whispered in his ear.

There’s nothing wrong, my little son, for safe we sleep tonight,
our heroes stand on foreign land to give us all the right,
to worry about the things in life that really mean nothing at all,
instead of wondering each day if we will be the next to fall.

He looked at me as children do and said it’s always right,
to thank the ones who help us and perhaps that we should write.
And so we pushed aside the bills and sat to draft a note,
to thank the many far from home, and this is what we wrote,

God bless you all and keep you safe, and speed your way back home.
Remember that we love you so, and that you’re not alone.
The gift you give, you share with all, a present every day,
You give the gift of liberty and that we can’t repay.

Author Unknown
Vern

Some one is going to have a bad Christmas

Details Sketchy on Drug Plane Crash — By JUSTIN D. ANDERSON
WHEELING – A news conference was expected to be held this afternoon in Wheeling in connection with the crash of a small airplane near the Wheeling-Ohio County Airport early Sunday that reportedly had an undisclosed amount of illegal drugs aboard.

Few details have been released about the crash since it was discovered by airport officials Sunday morning. According to James Peters, a spokesman for the Federal Aviation Administration, the Piper Aerostar twin-engine plane crashed Sunday morning. The plane is reportedly registered to James E. May of P.O. Box 685 Auburn, Ala. as well as two other registrants – Richard D. Starr and James L. Starr LLC, no addresses given.

Contact information for May or either Starr was not available today. Peters reported that the pilot was apparently injured in the crash, however the pilot has not been found. Officials believe the pilot managed to walk away from the crash. Also, there is no indication as to the origin of the flight. Peters further noted that since the aircraft was “destroyed” officials with the National Transportation Safety Board were expected to respond to the scene today.

The Aerostar is a “typical executive-type” aircraft, capable of hauling six passengers and two members of a flight crew.

Staff at the Wheeling-Ohio County Airport on Sunday discovered the small Piper Aerostar twin-engine aircraft in a ravine of a wooded area just west of the airport. Airport Manager Thomas S. Tominack said late Sunday that upon arrival at the scene of the crash, airport staff found there were no passengers or flight crew around the aircraft.

Detailed information about what type of drugs were found is expected to be released at the news conference today. Reports that cocaine was found on the plane could not be confirmed this morning.

“The aircraft sustained substantial damage,” Tominack said. However, there was “no fire involved.” A portion of one of the wings had been torn off, but the fuselage was “pretty much intact.”

“Because of the terrain and the amount of woods, it was not real easy to evaluate,” Tominack said.

The minimal damage to the fuselage “obviously” enabled “whomever was operating” the aircraft to escape from the wreckage, Tominack speculated.

An airport staff member early Sunday reported that a navigational aid at the approach end of the runway was damaged, prompting a search of the immediate area. A unit from the U.S. Air Force’s auxiliary Civil Air Patrol had reportedly picked up a signal at around 4:40 a.m. Sunday from the aircraft’s emergency transmitter. Tominack said the patrol was searching an area about three miles east of the airport near West Liberty. Police search dogs also were utilized in the search Sunday.

Tominack said not much is known about the flight due to “numerous unorthodox flight procedures” the aircraft was exhibiting. Tominack said it is “relatively simple” to track an aircraft if the crew is following normal flight plans, which the pilot of the aircraft found Sunday was reportedly not following.

“There are still some outstanding questions we are trying to determine,” Tominack said. “It’s not a typical crash scene. We’re trying to determine exactly what did occur.”

The scene of the crash and the road leading to the airport were blocked to the public and media. A fire truck from the Windsor Heights Volunteer Fire Department blocked off Girtys Point Road at the entrance of the airport. Another roadblock had reportedly been set up further east on the road.

Later, two vehicles from the West Virginia State Police took the fire engine’s place. A trooper at the scene would not allow anyone near the crash, nor would he provide any statements.

Rogue

DON?T ASK–Attorneys should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded: “Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve know you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked: “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?” She again replied: “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him. The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said: “If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I’ll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt.

Vern

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Last news before Christmas, so I guess it’s in order to wish everyone here, the staff, my family and all the faithful, and unfaithful readers Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

From me and everyone at Caribbean Custom Cycles.

So I guess instead of bitchin’ about something, we need to enjoy this time, although it does not feel like the Holidays at all. My dad is back from the hospital (the second time) and we are glad he is well, and can keep on rockin’. Also we want to wish Jay Hodge, our favorite foam sucker, board shaper a quick recovery from his accident, lucky he still around. Also well wishes go to Hugh King, prompt recoups to all….Be safe all you fuckers !!!!

The triple Crown of surfing, the Pipeline Masters and the Eddie Aikau contest already took place in the North Shore of Hawaii, all won by local Hawaiian bruthas. Cool, congrats to Sunny Garcia who won the triple Crown, too bad we missed him this year when we bailed out on the surf movie since Billy’s motor was toast. Congrats as well to all my friends from Hawaii. Speaking of Hawaii, I would really like to be able to spend the Holidays over there, although these are tough times and we must work. People buy toys and stuff, not motorcycle parts, so we hang on for the better times. Such is life. Maybe next time I will be able to plan accordingly and will be free of obligations so I can head over there, in the meantime, just work some more…….

Just in case, and this might be a super plug, all my personal bikes are for sale (except the purple bobber) so if anyone here is interested in one of them shoot me an e-mail at info@chopperfreak.com, please add the title ?bikes for sale?, since I receive enough cheap drug, grow the dick, slutty chicks dying to meet you, etc,etc, e-mails to last a lifetime.

Speaking of selling stuff, some of our parts are already out. Jockey shift levers, side brake/plate bases, point covers and a few others are available, thanks to Fabricator Kevin for making those for us. They will be available on my site soon. Also the roller will finally be done by the first couple months of the year. And last but not least, a couple new Chopper Freak(tm) designs are in the making. For sure most of that stuff will be posted here pretty soon.

I know you guys love it when I rant about stuff, I want you to know that none of this shit is personal, it’s just the way I see things and the way I feel about some of them. It’s very interesting that people follow this week after week, then again, I have a very powerful forum here on Bikernet, who, of course reaches millions of people. Sure there’s some shit that might be bothering me right now, but like I said, it’s Christmas so I will behave. Although, here goes a slight warning; I say what I say so people take notice of situations, maybe by this people will realize if they have been fucking up (again my word is not gospel) or if they have not been, or behaved like they should, life as it is, somebody someplace will relate to some of the venom I might be writing. Once more it’s not personal but if you feel you fit the bill, please do us all a favor and analyze yourself.

As a society, brotherhood, fellow humans or whatever the fuck we feel we fit into, we must treat each other with the utmost respect. Someone said a very long time ago, don’t do unto others what you don’t like being done to yourself. I guess that is the best Christmas present you can give to others and to yourself. We are pretty fucking lucky to be able to have a lifestyle as we do, to be able to have good friends who would and will give you their last buck, their help and anything else in times of need. It?s something that can’t be bought into; that no matter how hard you try can’t be gained by buying the newest stuff, wearing the latest cool rags or acting the part. We are not actors, we are real. This is life to us, not a game. Sadly as such some of us die, some of us struggle and some of us shine, but we are still who we are. No pretences, no smoke curtains. With this, watch out, we have radar for bogus shit, for those who don’t and will never belong. Greed, bullshit and pretence have no place here. The best gift for this Holidays is life, no matter how sucky or how great, enjoy it and be glad.!

I don’t want to sound like a fuckin’ bad omen here, but the list gets longer. Mark from West Coast Choppers had a close encounter with a running primary, get better soon dude, and Josh “Mr Cool” Mills needs a pinky re-stitched. To all, like the great intellectual Jerry Springer sez, take care of yourselves and each other……

See you guys next week…..and incase I did not say it enough…Merry Fucking Christmas !!!!

Jose ? Caribbean Reporter

LATS & ATTS TV– Latitudes & Attitudes will begin broadcasting a 1/2 hour weekly prime-time television show on March 29th on The Men’s Channel. It will be available to 27 million homes on it’s launch. Currently they are available on DISH and select Comcast Cable networks. It is being produced by Kewl Productions and Bob Bitchin is the Executive Producer of the show.

The show will try to convey the same feeling about cruising as the magazine. A light, fun and entertaining look at the cruising lifestyle.

Some of the magazine features we will be bringing to the screen will be cruising adventures shot on cruisers boats world-wide, an “Underway” section with cruisers photos set to music, an “Andy Rooney” style ending dialoge titled “Attitudes” by yours truly. As well as feature boats, new design boats and our popular “At The Boat Show” segment with new products for the cruising sailor.

Bob Bitchin
Founder & Publisher
Latitudes & Attitudes Magazine
Executive Producer
Kewl Productions
publisher@seafaring.com
http://www.seafaring.net
888-8-WE SAIL
(310) 798-3445

Bob Bitchin was the publisher/editor of Biker, FTW and Tattoo magazine before Paisano Publications bought the mag almost 20 years ago. He’s been sailing around the world ever since. His sailing mag is wild.–Bandit

Continued On Page 2

THE CYCLE OF HOPE!–There are people you meet who persevere no matter what circumstances life throws at them. Phil Starky is one of those people. Phil, an avid motorcycle enthusiast since the age of 8, had one dream; to one day build a custom motorcycle. And he set out to accomplish that dream when tragedy suddenly struck.

Phil was diagnosed last year with a very rare prostate cancer known as Neo Endocrine Small Cell Cancer. This particular cancer is extremely aggressive and in Phil?s case, inoperable. In fact, the doctors told him he wasn?t going to make it to Thanksgiving. This is the kind of news that would devastate most people, and it would have been easy to just give up on life altogether. But not Phil, he had a dream and continued to work on his 1996 Harley Softail motorcycle. Each week, he would save up his strength to make the trip to LifeStyle Cycles and pick up a few parts for his bike. Sadly, it got to the point where Phil no longer had the energy to complete his bike.

Mark ?Junior? Skolnick, owner of LifeStyle Cycles heard what was going on with Phil and decided to finish the motorcycle project for him. LifeStyle Cycles donated the rest of the parts needed for the build, all of the LifeStyle mechanics donated their time to get the bike done, Buck Wild Painting donated a beautiful custom paint job (in one weekend, no less) and High End Seats donated a custom made leather seat to round out Phil?s bike.

Phil?s dream was realized Thursday, December 9th at 3:00 in the afternoon in the showroom of LifeStyle Cycles. With family, friends and the CBS TV news crew watching, LifeStyle Cycles presented Phil with his completed motorcycle, which Phil calls, ?The Cycle of Hope.? Although too weak to actually ride his new motorcycle, Phil came back to LifeStyle Cycles the following Saturday and rode it around the parking lot several times. The Cycle of Hope and Phil keep rolling on.

For more information please contact Dan Leadbetter at (714) 490-0155.

?Don?t Just Get A Motorcycle ? Get A LifeStyle!?

LifeStyle Custom Cycles
1534 N. State College Blvd.
Anaheim, CA 92806
714- 490-0155
http://www.lifestylecycles.com

A CHINATOWN QUANDRY– A guy is walking through Chinatown in New York. He is fascinated by all the Chinese restaurants, the shops, the signs and banners on all the buildings. He is having the greatest time just walking and looking around. He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign that says, “Ole Olson’s Laundry.”

“Ole Olson?” he thinks. “How in the world does that fit in here?”

So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, “How in the world did this place get a name like Ole Olson’s Laundry?”

The old man says, “Is name of owner.”

The visitor asks, “Who is the owner?”

“I am he,” answers the old man.

“You? How did you get a name like Ole Olson?”

The old man replies: “Many years ago, when come to this country, I standing in line at immigration office. Man in front was big Norwegian. Lady look at him and say ‘What your name?’ and he say ‘Ole Olson.’ Next, she look at me — ‘What your name?’ I say ‘Saim Ting.'”

ARIZONA MOTORCYCLE EXPO–Bandit,Here’s a shot of the crowds at the Arizona Motorcycle Expo from lastweekend. Big group of fun people, and perfect weather. Spring in December.We had Bree there autographing our new “Built to Ride” posters. I’ll sendyou one. She’s awesome! What is the release date of the Hot Bike with her?

Also, I’m attaching a press release for a deal that I’m doing with PetroStopping Centers benefiting the St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. Let me knowif Bikernet or Hot Bike would like to get involved somehow. This is goingto be a big deal for Steeds this coming year. We’re building 3 bikes forthem and they’re going to raffle them off for the kids. They have 40 truckstops coast to coast. They’re planning an interstate billboard campaign,models of the bikes and tons of clothing merchandise for their centers. PlusSt. Jude’s will be assisting with the promotion nationally.

Talk to you soon,
John

STEFY SIGNATURE HELMET–Tallahassee, FL ? ?So it?s happening? exult Stefy Bau regarding one of her last accomplishment. Stefy became officially the first women motorcycle rider in the history of motorcycles racing to have a signature helmet. M2R leader company on the production of helmet world wide (riders like Travis Pastrana and Grant Langston have an M2R replica helmet) choose the Italian star to pursue the ever growing women market.

?I?m stocked about this deal. It?s the first time that a helmet company takes a chance promoting a women rider. I?m really happy to be associated with M2R and I would do everything possible to push this helmet world wide? Stefy says, ?It?s one of the biggest opportunity for the female side of the sport to show that we matter.?

Look for the Bau replica M2R helmet at your local dealer soon. Retail price is $299.00. Visit M2R website at www.m2rhelmets.com.

THE SOUTH MISSISSIPPI BIKE RALLY– is sponsored by the Misfits Motorcycle Club to help Injured motorcyclist, Terminally ill people Children Hospital and Law Enforcement.It is only (3) months and (8) day to the South Mississippi Bike Rally. Our rally will start March 30, 2005 and end April 03, 2005. It will be held at the Forrest County Multi-Purpose Center, 962 Sullivan Road, Hattiesburg, Mississippi. We are looking for a great rally this year. Our special guest will be Confederate Railroad who will play Friday night April 01, 2005 & Saturday night April 02, 2005. Go to our website at www.southmississippibikerally.com to pre-register and receive a 2003 or 2004 t-shirt.

We plan on having the biggest biker party ever held in the state of Mississippi. Plan to come join with us for a great time.

With Love, Loyalty & Respect
Bigo
MFFM

BIKERNET MUSIC LESSON–Greetings,Please consider our band for a performance at your Special Event.We are a very successful musical group in Brevard and Volusia Counties.I am sure that we can entertain your customers in a big way.

Sincerely
Dave Songerhttp://www.theozoneband.com
phone 321-543-3531

BIKERNET BLIND AND BLONDE MOMENT–A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, “Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls deathly quiet.

In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,”Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things . . .

One: The bartender is a blonde woman.

Two: The bouncer is a blonde woman.

Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional boxer.

Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Five: I’m a 6-foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a black belt in karate, and a very bad attitude!

Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?”

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and says:”Nah. Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

Nuttboy

STILL IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS–We are offering some incentives for those last minute shoppers (like myself) to make that final purchase for Christmas. What better gift can you give that hard to buy for loved one than a work of art. Viewed admiringly everyday for a lifetime, these beautifully framed, signed, limited artworks depict what you are passionate about.HARLEYS. Call now for Holiday Specials. Have a wonderful Holiday Season.

Kindest Regards,
Ron Copple
Artists Riding Together
866-985-9989 ext.2
http://www.art-inc.biz

RFR?S BEEN COPYRIGHTED–Hey There! Need some images? If they have a copyright don’t worry they will all start coming that way, not that y’all do not give me props. But twice this month I have found my images on the homepage of someone else’s website. Then found out yesterday a smaller rag is using one to promote a bike show and builder. So I figure it is time to start taking some preemptive actions.

RFR

BOB KAY KICK STARTS HIS NEW ENTERPRISE: BIKER PROS– Southlake, Texas ? December 14, 2004 ? Biker Pros, a service and product company serving the American motorcycle builder, has been formed by Bob Kay to provide resources to motorcycle builders. Products and services include high-quality subassemblies like the new Roadmax 6-speed transmissions, operational consulting and exclusive cutting-edge custom parts.

Bob Kay is utilizing over 30 years of motorcycle industry knowledge from his most recent tenures at American IronHorse and Biker?s Choice to begin a new chapter in his career. ?The market today isn’t just about performance: It’s a combination of performance, style, and service,” explained Kay. ?We are building Biker Pros into a firm that delivers value to each of these three functions for the American builder.?

A significant share of the custom bike market wants and needs bigger engines, more horsepower, bigger tires and right-side transmissions. The Roadmax transmissions that Biker Pros are supplying to the marketplace have been thoroughly tested and have past a rigourous pre-delivery inspection. Biker Pros are supplying these products through distribution firms and high-volume builders.

?Another component of the Biker Pros business is assisting builders and manufacturers in marketing their products through the motorcycle supply chain,? stated Kay. ?We know the business from the dealership to the distributor through the manufacturer, and Biker Pros can provide the insight and the organization to assist firms making the step to the next level of their business development plan.? Biker Pros is actively seeking relationships with v-twin builders to assist in developing, manufacturing, and marketing exclusive custom parts and accessories for the American motorcycle. Biker Pros is currently completing an agreement with Roger Bourgets on a line of custom products.

Biker Pros is serving the American motorcycle builder with a range of high-value products and services that assist builders in improving motorcycle performance through high quality parts, troubleshooting powersports operations and building and marketing exclusive products by builders for the v-twin marketplace.

Contacts:For further information please contact the Biker Pros Press Office:
Jeffrey Najar: 760-765-4734,
mailto:pr@bikerpros.com

For information on Roadmax transmissions please contact Bob Kay:

(817) 421-1333, bkay@bikerpros.com

MUSCLE STEEDS AND PETRO Stopping Centers? — are celebrating their 30-year anniversary by commissioning John Covington, renowned custom bike builder and founder of Surgical-Steeds? American Motorcycle Co. Inc., to design and build a series of custom motorcycles. The Petro-Steed motorcycle series will include an old-school inspired Bobber style bike (Steed Bronco?), a modern custom Chopper (Steed Thoroughbred?), and a futuristic style custom Pro-Street style machine (Steed Sintaur?). These three Covington one-off custom Pedigreed? Steed bikes symbolize Petro?s early days, current position as the premier travel plaza chain, and Petro?s innovative look towards the future. Petro continues to be ?the choice of America?s drivers??.

The construction of the Thoroughbred chopper machine is slated to be featured in an upcoming special biker build-off to be telecast on SpeedVision airing in 2005. The ?Bobber? bike will feature Petro Stopping Centers popular ?Truckers Move America? theme. These Steed? bikes will be on display at various Petro Stopping Centers nationwide during 2005. Petro will be merchandising an exclusive limited-edition ?Petro/Steed/Truckers Move America? clothing line. Photo/autograph opportunities with Covington during the promotion are to be scheduled at select locations.

Best of all, Petro Stopping Centers will be raffling the ?Truckers Move America? Steed Bronco bobber style motorcycle benefiting St. Jude?s Children?s Hospital.

Raffle tickets will be available at all Petro Stopping Centers and all proceeds will go to St. Jude?s Children?s charities.

WTF–A couple shots from the “Hawaiian Chopper” photo shoot …. Thanks to all my holmes at the WCC, Billy Lane, Roland, and everyone else who helped me get the bitchenest bike in Hawaii rolling …

(Ernie … I TOLD you should have come over on a “business” trip ..)

Jay

That It–Last Monday, Krylon John came by and we changed the sheetmetal on my Sporty. It will be the final episode of ?Samantha Tech? in American Rider in a couple months. We?re having a debate as to what color I should have it striped. I say pink, John says red, Markus black and Bandit says leave it alone. Whatcha think?

Sorry the news is so short, most of the jokes were old so I cut them out and stuck to real stuff. I hope you have a great weekend, and if you have to do much Christmas shopping, take a Valium before you go out. Just kidding. (Not really).

Take care, Layla

It?s been a whacky week here at the Headquarters, but I guess that?s the norm. No change on the construction; we?ve been blown off by the guy that started the framing due to prior commitments. I contacted another guy and he?s scheduled to start early next week putting in the windows then the plasterers will follow.

Today as we were busting out some drywall for electrical work, we discovered a skeleton. It was just a bird but we knew one day we?d find something dead buried in the walls of this building.

I?m really looking forward to this weekend cause we don?t have any plans. Well, I?ll be playing with my girlies Saturday night, but other than that, no events, no memorials, no shops to visit, nada. Just a little R&R with the big guy. Tomorrow we?ll be having lunch with the guys from JIMS, we?re hoping to get them on board as sponsors of Bikernet and doing some tech articles with them, then a little Christmas shopping.

As for Bikernet, we go back and forth here trying to figure out how to make a little money so we can continue doing what we do. We have sponsors that help pay the utilities, and the Cantina to pay Digital and contributors. So, we?ve been kicking around this idea of making the Cantina only $5.00 per year. If half the people who visited Bikernet joined, we?d be pretty damned happy. Not trying to get rich, just trying to make a living. Tell us what you think about that.

OK, enough snivel and drivel, here?s the news.

COMPU-FIRE PERFORMANCE PRODUCTS– announces a new web-site featuringinformation on the new products introduced for 2005. The new products addedto the Compu-Fire line include the Gen III Starter Motor, 3Phase ChargingSystems, and Single Fire Coil Kits. The new site also has instruction sheetsfor the entire product line along with a retail price list, frequently askedquestions, and contact information. Go to http://www.compufire.com.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Well guys, sorry it has been kind of long since I did the news, circumstances as you know get in the way of intentions. I’m not whining or anything, but between traveling, the PR event, Discovery channel (nope not my Build Off, but it took place in PR), Michael Lichter doing a catalog and covering a few more things, the guest builders and a lot of more friends, plus, and yep, wait there’s more, all the bikes that our friends wanted to ride to Rincon this year, and the usual chaos that goes on at the shop day in day out, had me with severe cases of sleep deprivation. This is not even the top of what needed to be done, but I guess I won’t bore you with the details. I really don’t know how we all managed, but I guess we did, and to top it off, twice, my dad landed in the hospital right after the Rincon event.

Anyway, all that shit did not leave any desire in me to come home and write the news, much less something to rant about. Although there’s some material, I guess some things are better left unsaid….

Going back to Discovery Channel Biker Build off, it was a match against Roland Sands from PM and Arlen Ness, we rode around the island, and when we got to Rincon we kinda went a bit crazy with all the antics, as you might see in the photos and bit of a 4 way burnout before the announcement of the winner (I guess you will have to see the show to know) and then 5 minutes later we were already hitting the waves, such is life in PR.

There’s a lot of new things happening at the shop, little by little I will be telling you guys about it with more details. I know for now that we are going to Vegas in Feb. Building a Bobber kit bike for a major parts company and it will be featured in some more mags, and building a bike for The Horse chop off. The new series (new ???) of bob/chops are taking off, without sounding arrogant, most people really dig them, and those are the few bikes that I still enjoy seeing after I’m done. And they are even more fun when you get to go ride with your friends.

If any of the guys that came over read this, I really want to thank everyone for showing up, and I hope you guys had a great time while here. It?s cool when people get to know my home. And to my friends and family who helped, I could not have pulled it off without you…….

Christmas is around the corner, so get those gifts ready, there’s still time to get stuff in the mail, or go for a ride, (if you can). I believed after the event we would have a break, but I guess I was wrong once more. We still got shitload to do, bills to pay and all the pains that come with a biz.

Anyway, will get back to this keyboard for next week…..

Happy Holidays,
Jose ? Bikernet Caribbean Reporter

BIKERNET PRODUCT PICK OF THE WEEK–I found a great source for these glass shift knobs, and I’m retailing them on my website now.

These hand-blown, made in the USA glass shifter knobs are made of a shatter resistant, temperature-resistant (up to 1000 degrees) glass, crafted one at a time.

These knobs are available in virtually any color(s) to match or compliment any bike or hot rod paintjob.

Check out the site for complete details on what’s available, and ordering info: http://www.shamrockfabrication.com/shiftknobs_page1.htm

Thanks, Irish Rich

Visit our website: http://www.shamrockfabrication.com

Ziemer to replace Bleustein as Harley-Davidson CEO–JEFF BLEUSTEIN, 65, will retire as CEO of Harley-Davidson on April 30th, 2005. He will be replaced by Jim Ziemer.

Ziemer, 54, is currently Vice President and Chief Financial Officer of the company. He brings 35 years of experience to his new position, having served in most parts of the organization during that time.Both Bleustein and Ziemer will continue to serve on the Board of Directors, the former as Chairman of the Milwaukee-based motorcycle maker.

Bleustein has 30 years of service with the company, having joined Harley-Davidson from AMF in 1975. He was one of the group of 13 executives who took over the ailing organization from AMF in 1981.By 1987, the company had regained its position as leading heavyweight motorcycle manufacturer in the USA and the following year Bleustein became Senior Vice President. By 1990 he was Executive Vice President and in 1993 became President and Chief Executive Officer, finally becoming Chairman in 1998.

Richard Beattie, a director of Harley-Davidson, paid tribute to Bleustein’s achievements, pointing out that in each of the seven years under his leadership the company’s revenues and earnings have increased. Stockholders have seen a 400 per cent increase in their equity value.In 1996, revenue was $1.5 billion and the corresponding figure for 2003 was $4.6 billion. Net income improved over this period from $143 million to $761 million.

The final figures for 2004 are expected to see this trend continuing.The company attributes this progression to aggressive new product development, upgraded manufacturing technology and capacity, an improved dealer network, better marketing, and increased employee involvement and incentivization.

In addition to his responsibilities to Harley-Davidson, Bleustein is involved with the Florentine Opera Company, the Milwaukee Jewish Federation, the Greater Milwaukee Committee and the Medical College of Wisconsin.He also sat on an advisory committee to the US Department of Labor.Naturally, Jeff Bleustein remains an enthusiast for the Harley-Davidson marque and currently owns and rides Electra Glide and V-Rod models.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON INC
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Tel: 414 343 4459
Fax: 414 343 8912
http://www.harley-davidson.com

S&S WEBSITE NOW ONLINE–VIOLA, WI. S&S is pleased to announce the addition of Performance Times online. S&S is now offering free access to view and download current and past issues online at www.sscycle.com . Current subscribers to Performance Times will continue to receive this publication in the mail.

“Our web site allows us to make our quarterly magazine Performance Times available for free viewing and downloading. “says S&S Communications Manager James Simonelli . “In the past we have been limited to mailing paper copies out to subscribers, and if your dog chewed it up or something you were just out of luck, but now it’s available 24/7 – for free!”, continued Simonelli. “With that said, we feel this demonstrates that we are taking our commitment to customer satisfaction to the next level. “he added with a satisfied smirk.

Performance Times is authored and edited by Tom Johnson. It is written for performance-minded V-Twin enthusiasts and published quarterly by S&S Cycle. “Tom does an excellent job writing stories and conducting interviews with some of the leading people in the V-Twin industry. Our online access will allow more people to gain valuable information and knowledge from Performance Times.”, concluded Simonelli.

S&S Cycle has been a leading manufacturer of Proven Performance V-Twin motorcycle components and engines for over 45 years. George Smith and Stanley Stankos founded the company in 1958 in Blue Island, Illinois . Shortly after the founding of S&S, George, and his wife Marjorie (whose maiden name was also Smith), bought out Stanley Stankos and Smith & Stankos became Smith & Smith (S&S). In 1969, S&S moved from Blue Island to Viola, Wisconsin and expanded to La Crosse , Wisconsin in 2004. This 3rd generation business supplies components and/or engines to several large custom OEs including: American Ironhorse, Arlen Ness, Big Bear Choppers, Big Dog, BMC, Bourget Bike Works, Hellbound Steel, Swift, Titan, Ultra, Vengeance, & Victory (please see the S&S website for a complete listing).

REGIONAL MOTORCYCLE MAGAZINE ENTERS NATIONAL MARKET– Swainsboro Georgia. (December 14, 2004):- Sylvia Cochran, President of ThunderWind Publishing, the parent company of Dixie Rider National Motorcycle News announced today that the publication will change its name to U.S. RiderNews with the January 2005 issue.

Cochran said the magazine will additionally increase its nationwide distribution 200% over the next 12 months.

“We’ve made several changes for 2005” said Sylvia Cochran, “We’re dropping the Dixie Darling feature and expanding our coverage of new motorcycle testing.” U.S. RiderNews will also increase editorial aimed at riders of metric cruisers, European, Japanese and Italian sportbike riders, off road enthusiasts and news concerning motorcycle competition.

Paul Phillips managing editor said “We’re doubling our coverage of racing news. A complete race schedule for AMA Superbike, flat track, motocross as well as AHDRA, and AMA ProStar drag bike schedules. Currently Dixie Rider covers a broad range of news and reviews on Harley-Davidson, Victory, Big Dog, American Ironhorse, custom motorcycles, as well as Triumph, Moto-Guzzi and Japanese cruisers.

U.S. RiderNews also plans to double the number of State Inserts by adding the states of Florida, Tennessee and South Carolina. Currently, the State Insert program is available in Georgia, South Carolina and Texas.

“The State insert program is unique in our industry” said Cochran. “State inserts are publications inserted into the national wrap and features news and stories with more local flavor.” Cochran said the unique format allows U.S. RiderNews to reach deeper into local markets and provides advertisers with the ability to directly target a State or a series of States with sharply focused ads. It also provides smaller shops an advertising outlet which is more economical than national advertising.

“Most small motorcycle businesses receive 95% of their business from customers within a 50-100 mile radius.” Cochran said. “The State Insert program allows those businesses to reach their target market economically and still advertise in a magazine with professional editorial quality and integrity.”

A business interested in national advertisers can benefit by reaching deep into local markets at a CPM rate of less than $20 per thousand. Cochran explained that to achieve the same reach using an equivalent number of small state publications would cost that same advertiser several hundred dollars per thousand readers.

Distribution of U.S. RiderNews in 2005 will increase from an average readership* of 120,000 per month to reaching almost a quarter of a million motorcyclists each month.

About U.S.Rider News. Formerly Dixie Rider. The only free, all brand inclusive, motorcycle news magazine in the United States that includes state by state inserts with a common national editorial wraparound. Published monthly in Swainsboro Georgia and distributed at motorcycle rallies and events and in motorcycle related businesses all over the United States.

*Based on industry pass-through average of 3 readers per copy.

Scott Cochran
National Publisher/Editor U.S.RiderNews
324 South Green St.
P.O. Box 726
Swainsboro Ga 30401
editor@usridernews.com
tel:
fax: 478-237-3761
478-237-3763

Add me to your address book…

Bah Humbug! JOAN C.

MOTORCYCLE RIDE VOLUNTEER NETWORK–Hello,This email is to let you know about the Motorcycle Ride VolunteerNetwork [MRVN], a global effort founded in 2004 that I feel would beof interest to many of your readers and I hope you can help us reachout to them.

With the goal of making the sport of motorcycling more accessible toall, MRVN has developed an internet website, an online Delphi forum,and a phone inquiry number for those without internet access, allcreated to;

1) Reach out to disabled people who would like to experiencemotorcycling but, due to their disabilities, cannot or have not.

2) Help arrange motorcycle Riding Partnerships between VolunteerMotorcyclists and disabled enthusiasts.

MRVN is opening new chapters daily all around the world and hashundreds of members. New members join MRVN each and every day.

If you are a disabled motorcycle enthusiast who can no longer ridedue to your disability I urge you to visit the Motorcycle RideVolunteer Network to find a riding partner in your area.

If you are an experienced motorcyclist who would like to volunteer asa MRVN rider, you are needed. Help ‘Share the Wind’ with those unableto ride themselves.

The URL is;http://www.mrvnonline.org

The Delphi forum is at;http://forums.delphiforums.com/mrvn/start

MRVN’s Phone Number is 603-447-2722

“Pass the Word – Share the Wind”

Thank you for taking the time to read this message and I hope you canhelp MRVN in its efforts.

Sincerely,
Gary K. Foote, Co-founder
Motorcycle Ride Volunteer Network
gary@mrvnonline.org

BIKERNET MISCOMMUNICATION–There is a factory in Wisconsin, which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 08:00.The next day at 08:45 there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door.

The Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor, and they’re really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman. “I’m sorry,” he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, “but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles”

Continued On Page 2

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE or visit us on our website at http://www.ON-A-BIKE.com

COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS
Compiled & Edited by Bill Bish,
National Coalition of Motorcyclists

U.S. SENATE APPROVES BILL TO END HEALTH INSURANCE DISCRIMINATION– Legislation aimed at closing a discriminatory loophole in medical insurance has passed the U.S. Senate and will now go to the House of Representatives for consideration.

S.423, entitled Health Care Parity for Legal Transportation, was authored by Senators Susan Collins (R-ME) and Russ Feingold (D-WI). The measure would prohibit insurers from denying health care benefits to insured’s who are injured while participating in so-called “risky activities” such as riding motorcycles, ATVs, horseback riding, snowmobiling, skiing or other legal recreational or transportation activities.

“Americans who enjoy recreational or transportation activities such as riding motorcycles should have the right to the same health insurance protection whether they are injured on their bike or in their home,” said co-author Sen. Collins.

Congress had passed the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) back in 1996, which prohibits companies from denying access to employer-sponsored health insurance for motorcyclists and others, but federal regulators created a loophole that allows insurers to deny benefits to those injured as a result of their participation in certain activities. In other words, your employer is required to provide you with health care insurance, but your health insurance company is not required to provide medical benefits!

On November 21, 2004, the United States Senate acted to close this loophole before adjourning from session. S.423 will now be considered before the House, where a companion bill, HR 1749 was introduced by Representatives Scott McCinnis (R-CO) and Ted Strickland (D-OH).

The National Coalition of Motorcyclists encourages all concerned riders and Motorcyclists’ Rights Organizations to contact their Congressional representatives and urge them to support S.423 to end these discriminatory health care practices.

PENNSYLVANIA STIFFENS PENALTIES FOR CARELESS DRIVING– On December 8, 2004, Governor Ed Rendell signed HB 873 into law, which establishes increased penalties for those convicted of careless driving that results in serious injury or death.

Under heavy lobbying by ABATE of Pennsylvania, the legislation passed near-unanimously through both chambers of the legislature.

House Bill 873 will establish an increased fine of $500 and a 6-month license suspension for persons convicted of careless driving when the offender unintentionally causes the death of another person. Careless driving offenses that result in serious bodily injury to another person would carry a $250 fine and a three-month license suspension.

“If a tragedy occurs because of a driver’s careless action, even though those actions were unintentional, then there should be serious consequences,” said Representative Rick Geist, who chairs the House Transportation Committee. “We have to reinforce the notion that drivers must be alert and responsible behind the wheel. Tragic things can happen in an instant if you aren’t.”

Previously, a conviction of careless driving resulted only in a fine of $25 plus cost and fees, as well as three points on the person’s driving record. No further penalties existed in the event of a death or serious injury occurring as a result of this violation.

“All things considered we fared well in the 2003-2004 legislative session,” points out ABATE Legislative Coordinator John Mullendore, who also serves on the NCOM Board of Directors, “including the passage of the helmet modification bill and the passage of the Veterans motorcycle license plates. We also realized the discount given to motorcycles that used the E-Z pass on the turnpike.”

MINI-MOTORCYCLES “DANGEROUS” GIFTS– Lots of kids are asking Santa for a new bike this Holiday season, but before you park a pocket bike under your Christmas tree you should know that they’re not a recommended toy for your tot.

Just in time for the holidays, WATCH has released its annual “Most Dangerous Toys” list for 2004. World Against Toys Causing Harm, Inc., or WATCH, has published the worst-toys list since 1968 to educate the public about the dangers of certain toys, and Pocket Rockets top this year’s roll of most dangerous toys.

In fact, Consumer Reports magazine calls the mini-motorcycles the most dangerous holiday gift you can buy this year.

They may look cool, and they’re a hot seller this Christmas season, but Consumer Reports engineers found the faster they go the less stable the bikes feel.

“At 20 miles-per-hour, it’s hard to hold a straight course. And once you put on the brakes, it takes 20 feet to come to a stop,” reports the top consumer magazine, “Making tight turns is another problem, as they don’t have a very large turning radius. As a result, you have to pick the bike up and turn it around.”

You’re not supposed to ride mini-motorcycles on the road, adds the report, but people do. And compared to other vehicles, these bikes sit very low to the ground. That makes them tough to spot from a car or truck.

Bottom line: Consumer Reports, says they’re too dangerous to give as holiday gifts.

Their advice: If your teen wants a mini motorcycle for the holidays, try talking about electric scooters instead. They’re fast and fun, too, but lower to the ground and safer.

FLYING DUTCHMAN MOTORCYCLE– We’ve all heard of flying cars in our future, but now the Dutch firm Spark Design has announced even stranger news – a flying motorcycle, which may be available sooner than you’d think.

Spark Design claims the vehicle – which looks like a cross between a helicopter and a full-fairing bike – will be able to take off and land vertically and reach 125mph both on land and in the air.

The rotor and propeller are folded until the machine needs to fly. Once airborne, the rear-mounted propeller pushes the craft along and the unpowered main rotor spins to give the craft lift. It is designed to fly under the 4,000ft threshold used by commercial aircraft.

The company, that has worked on products as disparate as the Carver (a three-wheeled enclosed motorbike that leans over in corners), parts for coffee pots, and handicap bathroom door handles, says the flying motorcycle could be ready for test flights in less than a year. The machine will be made in Canada mainly for the U.S. market.

“SMART” HELMET GIVES MOTORCYCLISTS A HEADS UP– A “smart” helmet has been invented that tells the wearer how fast they are traveling, what gear the motorcycle is in and whether turn signal indicators are on. The new device, inspired by the Heads-Up Display technology used by fighter pilots, flashes information onto a small digital screen inside the helmet.

Piers Tucker, a 24-year-old industrial designer from Leeds, England, who invented the helmet in an effort to promote road safety, claims that the screen – which is within the rider’s peripheral vision – will allow motorcyclists to monitor their speed without taking their eyes off the road.

“I designed this helmet to save lives,” he said. “When you are riding a motorcycle at a fast speed, it is difficult to concentrate on the displays on the dashboard and the roads at the same time.”

The helmet calculates the rider’s precise speed by utilizing satellite global positioning data (GPS), while information about the indicators and gears is sent to the helmet by radio transmitters.

Tucker, who is not a motorcyclist himself, claims that if the helmet proves popular with riders, dashboard dials could disappear from motorcycles altogether. “It takes about 0.25 seconds to look down, focus on a speedometer and refocus on the road again. This doesn’t sound like much but it can make the difference between life and death.”

Ian Mutch, of the Motorcycle Action Group (MAG-UK), which campaigns on safety issues and is a member group of the International Coalition of Motorcyclists (ICOM), said that it would be cheaper and safer if motorcyclists simply rode at slower speeds.

“Bikers who want avoid accidents should take greater care, but an illuminated screen could be a distraction in itself,” he said.

JAPANESE MULL MOTORCYCLE PASSENGER LAW– The military newspaper Stars and Stripes reported on December 3rd that “Japanese officials have yet to decide how to implement for status-of-forces-agreement personnel a revised law allowing motorcyclists to carry one passenger on certain freeways.”

Under the traffic law revised in June, motorcyclists 20 or older who have had a motorcycle license for more than three years will be allowed to ride double on freeways, according to a National Police Agency spokesman. The implementation date was set Tuesday for April 1.

Because SOFA personnel are exempt from obtaining a Japanese driver’s license, Japanese officials say they must figure out a way to implement the rule for them.

Riding double on motorcycles was banned in 1965 after a series of accidents by motorcyclists riding double on freeways. The law was revised following motorcyclists’ increased demand to use freeways and their complaints about the inconvenience of traveling long distances when not able to use freeways.

TAXPAYERS LIABLE FOR JANKLOW’S FATAL ACCIDENT– Former U.S. Rep. Bill Janklow from South Dakota will not have to pay any money out of his own pocket for the accident that killed 55-year-old Hardwick, MN motorcyclist Randy Scott, resulting in Janklow being convicted of second-degree manslaughter and other lesser charges.

The lawyer representing Scott’s family announced November 29th that he will let stand a federal judge’s ruling that Janklow was on duty Aug. 16, 2003, when the Cadillac he was driving sped through a stop sign near rural Trent, SD and caused the fatal collision with Scott’s Harley-Davidson motorcycle.

That means federal taxpayers, not Janklow, would pay any monetary awards from a wrongful death lawsuit because Janklow is covered by the Federal Tort Claims Act, which protects federal employees from negligence claims when they’re on duty.

The federal judge now will dismiss the civil lawsuit against Janklow and the Scott family will file a new claim against the U.S. government, specifically the U.S. House of Representatives.

Scott’s mother, sister, son and daughter initially sued Janklow in Minnesota state court, but the U.S. attorney in Minnesota concluded Janklow was on official business and should be covered by the government, so the case was moved to federal court. The family appealed, but two federal judges affirmed the original ruling.

The Scott family wanted the case returned to state court so they could collect more money through punitive damages, something not allowed if the case remained in federal court. Now, they will only be able to collect actual losses, such as pain and suffering and loss of companionship.

Janklow, 65, was elected to the House in 2002 after serving 16 years as governor. He resigned from Congress in January, spent 100 days in jail for the criminal convictions and paid a fine.

WORLD’S FASTEST INDIAN– Oscar winning actor Sir Anthony Hopkins will star in “The World’s Fastest Indian,” the true-life story of Burt Munro, a New Zealander who spent several decades constructing a 1920 Indian Motorcycle, then traveled to Utah and set a new land-speed record back in the 70’s. Roger Donaldson, director of “The Recruit” is using his own writing and is directing the project.

WEIRD NEWS – DUCATI “MONSTER” DOOMED?– The “Monster Garage” cable television series, Monster.com, Disney’s “Monsters, Inc.” the “Monsters of the Midway” Chicago Bears’ nickname, and a host of other enterprises that use the word “monster” have found themselves named in lawsuits and trademark infringement claims filed by Monster Cable Products, Inc.

Even the Monster Seats above Fenway Park’s left field wall have been targeted in what Monster Cable officials say is an aggressive legal strategy to protect the firm’s good name. “We have an obligation to protect our trademark; otherwise we’d lose it,” said Monster Cable founder Noel Lee, reports the San Francisco Chronicle.

The cable mogul is preparing for a trial against the Discovery Channel over their popular “Monster Garage” series starring custom bike builder Jesse James, because the show uses images of “provocative women” and an iron cross logo that could tarnish Monster Cable’s image. QUOTABLE QUOTE: “The one who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the one who is doing it.”
Ancient Chinese Proverb

From TheGUNNY’S SACK–

This year of 2004 has gone by at warp speed, it seems to me, but with some greatmemories already. We had some fantastic Toy Runs recently, with thousands ofriders turning out to support needy kids! Our Oregon Confederation of Clubs(COC) is alive and well and flourishing. We’ve all been busy with theorganizations that make up our motorcycle community. Hopefully, we’ll have agood motorcycling year this year, too. I know I’d like to ride more than I didlast year.

Safety is again on my mind as we move through the winter months. Now is the timeto do all the nasty little maintenance things we have put off, so we could rideinstead. If you’re NOT in one of those WARM states, it’s a ritual we?ve becomeaccustomed to. Be sure to check those tires. They may be getting a littletired. Brakes and clutches and all the other hundreds of parts that make thosescooters run, all need attention, and look for loose nuts and bolts.

Let’s not forget the person in the saddle, either. Just maybe, it’s time to takeanother riding course, so when winter is behind us we aren’t behind theeight-ball when we get the scoots out in the spring. For those who rideyear-round, the safe riding courses are just that much more important. I don’tcare who you are or how many years you’ve been in the saddle, riding courses aregood insurance. They sharpen us up when it comes to the all the hazards we dealwith on the road. Do yourself a favor by taking a course this year. You’ll besurprised how much you will learn, and it can keep you in one piece on the road.

Remember my motto: KEEP THE ROUND SIDE ON THE BOTTOM! That’s what it’s all about

NEWSBITS ?N’ PIECES:

LOS ANGELES, CA: For those of you with cell phones and bored sittin’ around thehouse on nasty days this winter, there is a new virtual motorcycle game out justfor you. It’s called “Ducati Extreme,” by MFORMA. It’s a racing game for youspeed freaks. Play it on your cell phone! Don’t ask me HOW, though, and pleasedon?t do it while you?re driving!

Europe: TONS OF NEW STUFF that will be for sale, at least in Europe. Lookee…

Moto Morini is back with a planned 87-degree V-twin 996 cc engine; scheduled forrelease as a 2006 model.

Yamaha is now testing an electric fuel cell motorcycle

KTM is releasing a 950cc, 98 hp super-moto, based on the V-twin Adventure trailbike.

MZ has a 95 hp naked street-fighter version of its twin cylinder 1000Ssport-bike.

Honda is coming out with a V5 Blackbird replacement. This thing issaid to have 190 hp, an electronic steering damper, traction control, andelectronically controlled brakes. Next thing we know we won’t have to ride atall. Just get on’em and sit there while the scoot does all the work.

U.S.A. MOTORCYCLE SALES: Triumph reports 104% increase in U.S. sales in May2004, compared to last year. This doesn’t include sales of the Thruxton andRocket III. ONE of ?em has that new 2300 cc motor!

WOMAN RIDERS: They arecatching up with us, guys. And I, for one, am thrilled! Welcome aboard, and ridesafe. Turns out that they ARE, in fact, safer riders with fewer accidents. Theytake rider courses seriously. Women motorcycle riders have increased by 34%since 1998.

BIKE SALES STILL UP IN THE USA: From an article in USA Today, we see that bikesare still hot! Sales jumped 111% between 1998 and 2002; They say motorcyclesales are up another 6.4%, to 996,000 bikes sold in the US in 2003; and that’sthe 11th consecutive year of increased sales.

HARLEY versus DUCATI: Another stat from that USA Today article: Ducati saystheir sales are down 20% from last year; meanwhile, Harley sales are up 20%.Maybe it’s time the DUC came up with a V4 cruiser. Ya think?

Two-wheel drive! It’s back! After showing up on a Yamaha R-series last year,it’s now on a Yamaha dirt bike. Might be interesting to ride one of thesecritters. Anyone who has, I bet the other Sack readers would like to know. Shootme your comments.

ABC NEWS… Is claiming that motorcyclists use more taxpayer dollars than othermembers of society to pay their medical bills. Why don’t they research stuffbefore they put it out to the public?

DIESEL MOTORCYCLES: Yes, they do exist! Royal Enfield has a “Taurus” Diesel.The 2001 Kawasaki KLR650 has a Diesel conversion. They also have a militaryversion. BMW also has converted an R100RT to diesel power. Maybe it’s a goodthing. Diesel fuel is usually less expensive. It just smells funny.

GUNNY AGAIN: The Aid to Injured Motorcyclist membership cards we carry in ourwallets guarantee we have access to QUICK legal help if we are injured in anaccident or are in some other kind of legal sling. If you don’t have yours getwith your local AIM people or call the AIM number below and we will make sureyou get one, free. Our AIM attorneys are networked across this country. When youdecide to use an attorney the choice should be very simple. Why hire any otherattorney when you can get the combined brain power of about sixty AIM attorneys?

If you carry the AIM card, you are never bound to use our guys. The number tocall is 1-800-ON-A-BIKE.

Take advantage of the expertise these folks have tooffer you. Whether it’s about the AIM specialties, which are personal injurycases of all kinds ? bike accidents in particular ? our AIM criminal defensearm, or you just have a legal question, they’ll do their level best to call youback with an answer, or at LEAST point you in the right direction! I tell ya,these guys are the bees? knees. Have a GREAT new year, and…

Keep the round side on the bottom.
Gunny, Oregon’s AIM Chief of Staff

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET HISTORY LESSON–Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began? Many years ago a biker was traveling through the mountains ofSwitzerland.

Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. Hewent up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.

The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.

As the story goes, the farmer’s daughter asked her father, “Who isthat biker going into the barn?”

“That fellow traveling through,” said the farmer. “needs a place tostay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn.”

The daughter said, “Perhaps he is hungry..” So she prepared him aplate of food for him and then took it out to the barn.

About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveledand straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.

The farmer’s wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn, and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.

The next morning at sunrise the biker in the barn got up and continuedon his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.

When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, shebroke into tears. “How could he leave without even saying goodbye,” shecried. “We made such passionate love last night!”

“What?” shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the biker who by now was halfway up the mountain.

The farmer screamed up at him, “I’m going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!”

The biker looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand nextto his mouth, and yelled out…..

“LAIDTHEOLADEETOO”

Rogue

IRISH DIGITAL CLOCK–Every now and again there comes a graphic so good the freshconcept blows you away.

The University of Dublin science students have finally finishedthe digital clock they have been working on for 4 years.

Go to this site to see the results: http://www.yugop.com/ver3/stuff/03/fla.html

Ray R.

FRIENDS–A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, “Excuse me, where are we?”

“This is Heaven, sir,” the man answered.

“Wow! Would you happen to have some water?” the man asked.

“Of course, sir.. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.” The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

“Can my friend,” gesturing toward his dog, “come in, too?” the traveler asked.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.”

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

“Excuse me!” he called to the reader. “Do you have any water?”

“Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in.”

“How about my friend here?” the traveler gestured to the dog.

“There should be a bowl by the pump.” They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. “What do you call this place?” the traveler asked.

“This is Heaven,” he answered.

“Well, that’s confusing,” the traveler said. “The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.”

“Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s Hell.”

“Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?”

“No,we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.”

Soooo…

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word, maybe this could explain:

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don’t know what, and don’t know how, you forward jokes.

And to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don’t think that you’ve been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you’ve been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

Bob t.

Daytona Beach deal lets dancers in clubs bare all until April 2006–
By Ludmilla Lelis | Sentinel Staff Writer
Posted December 8, 2004

DAYTONA BEACH — Nude dancing may continue in Daytona Beach until April 2006 under a legal settlement that could end the city’s four-year court battle against three adult-entertainment clubs.

City officials had hoped to clean up Daytona Beach’s honky-tonk image by clamping down on adult entertainment, but when a federal judge in July 2001 struck down one of the regulations they used to do it, dancers at the Pink Pony and Molly Brown’s II started baring all.

Though that ordinance has since been revised and upheld, Daytona Beach officials plan to allow nude dancing to continue for the next 16 months so that the clubs will end their litigation. The Daytona Beach City Commission is scheduled to vote on the court settlement tonight.

The settlement includes a third club called Molly Brown’s, a “bikini bar” where dancers wear skimpy attire and are not nude. It is adjacent to the nude club, Molly Brown’s II, and has a separate court case against the city.

Daytona Beach City Commissioner Darlene Yordon, one of the staunchest critics of the clubs, said Tuesday that she probably would support the settlement. “We’re all in agreement that we don’t like the clubs, but at least with this, there’s an end in sight,” Yordon said. “Then we will start enforcing the law.”

Attorney Gary Edinger, who represents the two Molly Brown’s clubs, said the settlement ensures that the clubs can continue operating for two more spring seasons. After April 2006, the nude clubs can revert to being “bikini bars,” which means dancers won’t be able to show much more skin than people walking on the street. Pasties and G-strings won’t cut it.

An attorney for the Pink Pony was not available for comment.

The settlement leaves only one pending lawsuit against Daytona Beach by an adult-entertainment club. That remaining lawsuit, by Lollipop’s Gentlemens Club, is scheduled to go to trial next month.

“We are confident that we will prevail,” said Brett Hartley, an attorney for Lollipop’s, where dancers go topless. About five years ago, city leaders started a campaign to tone down the city’s sleazy elements and build up family-oriented tourism. The police raided several clubs and arrested dancers and club managers, prompting the lawsuits.

In a blow to the city’s anti-nudity campaign, U.S. District Judge John Antoon II in 2001 ruled that a Daytona Beach zoning ordinance was unconstitutional.

After city officials made several changes to repair what the judge found faulty, Antoon ruled in June that the ordinances are now constitutional. The clubs filed an appeal, which is pending in Atlanta, but negotiated the settlement with city officials during a mediation session.

“There’s always a risk when you litigate these cases,” said Deputy City Attorney Marie Hartman. “No matter how strong you think the case is, there is an inherent risk.”

Meanwhile, the city has not been enforcing the anti-nudity rules, which have opened the door for other clubs to offer topless entertainment. The city’s current rules forbid public nudity and require people to cover one-third of their buttocks and one-fourth of a woman’s breasts.

The settlement provides some relief to Molly Brown’s, the bikini bar that doesn’t offer nude entertainment, Edinger said. “The city was being arbitrary with enforcement,” he said. “If the city is not enforcing the ordinance in 2006, that non-enforcement would apply to Molly Brown’s as well.”. “If the city is not enforcing the ordinance in 2006, that non-enforcement would apply to Molly Brown’s as well.”

Rogue

Samson? 2005 Catalog
Anaheim, California, December 1, 2004
?Brand new and here to kick some serious ass, Samson Exhaust has done it again with their new, 2005 catalog,? says Toni Haynes, Ass. Marketing Manager. Samson Exhaust provides the 4 essential features that every catalog should have ? simple to read, easy to locate your exhaust system of choice, includes tons of vital information, and as always, awesome visual graphics that Samson Exhaust is legendary for. In our catalog you will find the most comprehensive and finest selection of exhaust systems from any single manufacturer in the world.
No one comes close to matching our selection of Samson Exhaust pipes. We offer a number of different styles of exhaust pipes for our customers to choose from. We carry Samson Drag Pipes, the entire Big Guns and Big Guns II series, Over and Unders, Double Barrel pipes, and Upswept Fishtails. We also offer Samson?s Powerflow 2-into1 Collector series and a full selection of V-Rod exhausts. There is the True Duals for the Dressers and Road kings, Slip-On Mufflers, Baffles with end caps, and Turn-Downs and Turn-Outs as well. Samson recently added the new Caliber performance exhaust line offered in both the 2-into-2 and 2-into-1 styles. Our new ?Extreme? exhaust pipes will also be available for 2005, which include the Low-Boy, High-Boy, and Low-Blow.
Samson Motorcycle Products designs, markets and manufactures premium quality motorcycle exhausts at their state of the art facilities in Anaheim, CA. Every product has been thoroughly tested to improve performance, enhance appearance and give the sound customers are looking for. As the industry leader in aftermarket exhaust, every part is inspected for the highest quality standards. Samson Motorcycle Products markets products under the Samson?, Caliber? and Shogun? Brand Names. For more information visit our website www.samsonusa.com.

That?s It For The News? Things around the Headquarters are still moving at a snail?s pace. Bandit still heading out everyday to Primedia, and me and the gals holding down the fort.

We have tons of material to launch in the next couple of weeks; we?re just trying to get some administrative work done, getting ready for a new year, a new tax season.

As always, have a great weekend. Ours will be filled with Christmas parties, events and pampering Bandit.

Take care,

Layla