Bill Bish, the rider behind the Coast To Coast Biker News.

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE or visit us on our website at http://www.ON-A-BIKE.com

COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS
Compiled & Edited by Bill Bish,
National Coalition of Motorcyclists

EPA SETS EMISSIONS STANDARDS FOR STREET BIKES On December 23, 2003 the Environmental Protection Agency announced the first new emission standards for highway motorcycles in 25 years, but certain concessions from the federal regulatory agency indicate that three years of opposition and resistance from America’s motorcycle rights network has succeeded in producing a more palatable ruling.

By 2010, motorcycle manufacturers will be required to slash tailpipe emissions by more than 80 percent by using improved technologies such as secondary air injection, electronic fuel injection systems, liquid cooling and catalytic converters, though none of those technologies are mandated in the new regulations.

These reductions will be phased in over a two-tier implementation plan that will require manufacturers of on-highway motorcycles, small scooters and mopeds to meet strict new emissions limits by 2006, and even more stringent levels set for 2010.

New motorcycles over 280 cc’s sold in the United States beginning in 2006 must emit no more than 1.4 grams per kilometer of hydrocarbons (HC) and nitrogen oxides (NOx), and levels of those pollutants must be cut to .8 g/km by 2010. Previously, motorcycles were allowed up to 5.0 grams per kilometer traveled of HC, and NOx was unregulated. Allowable carbon monoxide levels will remain unchanged at 12 g/km. Manufacturers will be allowed to “average” the emissions levels of the bikes they produce, so cleaner running models can make up for more pollutant counterparts.

Sections of the rule dealing with customization were most impacted by riders’ efforts, and the EPA contends that the new regulations will not have any adverse affect on the aftermarket industry. Nothing in the new regulations will change what owners may do legally to customize their motorcycles, they claim, though it’s important to note that it’s already a violation of the Clean Air Act to tamper with pollution control equipment.

Also, small volume manufacturers who build fewer than 3,000 motorcycles a year, and who have fewer than 500 employees, are exempted from the first-tier pollution limits until 2008, and will not be required to meet the second-tier standards at all. There is also a one-time exemption for the owner/builder of a kit bike.

The new federal regulations are based largely on emissions standards already taking effect in California for the 2004 model year, except on a two-year delay basis, though California’s regulations do not allow for these exemptions.

All in all, motorcycling activists can be proud of their efforts to protect their rights as consumers and the liberties of our lifestyle. But rest assured that the fight ain’t over, and the EPA intends to revisit the street bike regs in 2006.

EMISSIONS TESTING IN TENNESSEE MAY INCLUDE MOTORCYCLES Based on the fact that the federal EPA will begin enforcing strict new emissions regulations on motorcycle manufacturers in two years, Knox County officials might include motorcycles in a mandatory emissions testing law likely to be enacted this year in Tennessee.?

The current standard for hydrocarbon emissions from motorcycles allow about 90 times more emissions than the standard for passenger cars, according to the EPA, and when new truck and car standards take effect next year, new SUVs will be meeting hydrocarbon emission targets that are about 95 percent cleaner than the typical motorcycle.

Lynne Liddington, Knox County’s air quality management director, said officials haven’t previously considered testing motorcycles, but “We can always put it on the table.”

Knox and 10 surrounding counties are under the regulatory gun to take steps to clean up East Tennessee’s smoggy skies by March 1, 2005 or face sanctions that could include the loss of federal highway funds and stricter pollution controls on industry. The EPA has put the area on notice that East Tennessee skies likely will be out of compliance with new ozone standards that take effect in April. Ground-level ozone, a colorless gas created by combustion, is the primary component of smog. Knox County officials want emissions testing implemented statewide.

“Whether motorcycles are included or not,” Liddington said, “the biggest pollution sources – coal-fired power plants and tractor trailers – won’t be covered under any testing program.”

“It’s obvious that the new EPA regulations are already being factored into new government regulations at the state level,” points out Steve Lundwall, State Director of CMT/ABATE of Tennessee and a member of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) Board of Directors. “When bikes which comprise an extremely small percentage of registered vehicles and an even smaller percentage of the pollution are singled out and it is stated that the biggest polluters won’t be included in the testing program, it becomes very clear that we are vulnerable no matter how insignificant the initial threat seems.”

According to the Tennessee Department of Safety, there are 6,772 motorcycles registered in Knox County, which is a little less than 2 percent of all registered vehicles, though that number triples every June when the Honda Hoot attracts up to 20,000 motorcyclists to Knoxville from across the country during the height of smog season.

“Here in Tennessee we will fight to protect motorcycle businesses, tourism, ourselves and our liberties,” concludes Lundwall.

“ORGAN DONOR” BILL AMENDED, KILLED IN COMMITTEE AB 1200 started out as a nice, “clean” helmet modification bill, allowing motorcyclists 18 and older the option of wearing a helmet in California. Then, just one week before the measure was to be heard in the Assembly Transportation Committee, the bill was amended to include mandatory organ donation as a requirement to ride free.

The bill’s author, Assemblyman John Longville (D-San Bernardino) amendedthe bill without consulting the bill’s sponsor, ABATE of California, in a misguided effort to find a “creative solution” to help the bill gain the votes needed to pass.?

Obviously, this was one solution that didn’t sit well with the riding community, and when the bill was heard in committee on January 12, in front of a room packed with motorcyclists from all over the Golden State, AB 1200 was further amended to remove the offensive amendment and any reference to organ donation. The original bill language was then voted on and the bill lost by 9 aye votes to 11 no votes.?

Hundreds of riders who rallied at the Capitol that day had hoped that a motorcycle-riding governor would aid their cause, and some carried signs asking Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to “Terminate the Helmet Law.”

Despite the setback, Jean Hughes, legislative director of ABATE, told the Sacramento Bee newspaper, “We’ll be back.”

HELMET LAWS DETER TOURISM When concerned out of state riders began writing to the Nebraska Tourism Division seeking their support in shelving the state’s mandatory helmet law (LB303), the director agreed that more riders would travel through their state if helmets were optional.

“You are not alone,” wrote Dan Curran, Director of the Nebraska Division of Travel and Tourism, in response to a letter from Richard Hall from ABATE of California, “there are a number of people that want the law modified or removed. In my job, I can’t lobby for or against the issue. But, you are correct, we would see a positive economic impact during the annual Sturgis migration with a more liberal helmet law.”

BIKERS WANT TO PARADE TOPLESS On December 15, the Massachusetts House of Representatives engrossed H 206, a bill to exempt motorcyclists participating in public parades from the helmet law.

“House, No. 206 now goes over to the Senate for its action,” said Paul Cote, legislative director for the MMA of Massachusetts. “Maybe when the MMA storms the statehouse on Thursday, May 20, 2004 – we’ll have a ‘parade!’ I like that idea!”

“GET YOUR ROCKS OFF”? OUR ROADS!” ABATE of Pennsylvania has sponsored a bill to require trucks to cover their loads to prevent spills and road hazards. Representative Stan Saylor introduced HB 880 to increase the fines for violations and further defines what the violations are.

“Those from the trucking industry still maintain that enforcement is the problem and that the current law is sufficient,” said John Mullendore, Legislative Coordinator for ABATE and a member of the NCOM Board of Directors. However, as ABATE’s lobbyist Charles Umbenhauer points out, enforcement wasn’t a problem when it came to helmets so he isn’t buying that argument.

“We’re not looking to drive a wedge between bikers and truckers,” said Mullendore, adding that they hope to come to an agreement between the two groups. “Some of the biggest violators are weekend movers in pickups and people hauling mulch and the like. These too are included in the law.”

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH: A Taiwanese motorcycle mechanic has confessed to police that he feasted on the body parts of an insurance agent after killing her. The discovery of the missing woman’s scooter near a Taipei bike shop led police to suspect the 39-year-old wrench, and when police searched the area around his workshop, they discovered Ms. Shih Chin-chi’s dismembered body in a residential water tank.

Police said the suspect strangled his 28-year-old victim with a rope before chopping her body into eight pieces on Dec 7. Parts of her body, including flesh and skin in the chest area, were missing, reported the Taipei Times.

According to statements given by Kwang Teh-chiang, an apprentice at the cycle shop, the suspect had gotten into an argument with the victim over some insurance matters at the shop and he killed her in his presence. Police told reporters that Chen had searched her body for valuables after the murder and handed Kwang NT$400 ($20US), presumably to buy him off.

Police also suspect the mechanic of being involved in the disappearance of another female insurance agent 12 years ago.

QUOTABLE QUOTE: “In the rush to cure all the ills to which humans are heir, liberty is too often an innocent bystander, and an accidental casualty.”

Barry Goldwater, former Arizona senator and presidential candidate (1909-98)

NCOM CONVENTION REMINDER The National Coalition of Motorcyclists will hold their 19th annual NCOM Convention from May 6 to 8, 2004, at the Biltmore Hotel, 401 South Meridian Avenue, in Oklahoma City, OK, hosted by ABATE of Oklahoma and the Oklahoma Confederation of Clubs. For room reservations, call (800) 522-6620 and mention NCOM for the special room rate of $70.64, including tax, for up to four folks per room. Convention registration is $75.00 and includes the Silver Spoke Awards Banquet on Saturday night, or $40.00 without the banquet. For additional information, or to pre-register, contact NCOM at (800) 525-5355.

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET HISTORY LESSON–Do you know what happened in 1850? California became a state. Back then, the state had no electricity, no money, there were gun fights in the middle of the streets, and almost everyone spoke Spanish. So it was just like California today. Only back then the women had real tits.

–from Ramon

ROGUE BAD COP INVESTIGATION–Court papers filed reporting 104 sex acts committed by cops Pennsylvania – A motion filed late yesterday in federal court reveals shocking new details about 104 sordid sex acts committed by Pennsylvania state troopers, including three former majors, one of whom raped and forcibly performed oral sex on a female subordinate.

The documents also, for the first time, identify the majors, give lurid details of their offenses and describe the lenient punishments the state police imposed on them as well as 19 other troopers.

Of those 104 cases from 1995 to 2001, allegations in 24 were sustained; attorney Thomas Sheridan wrote in the 59-page motion.Of the 24 sustained cases, only two troopers were dismissed, the motion says.

“The most outrageous cases involved the three majors, the rank below deputy commissioner,” Sheridan said.”All three should have been fired for their crimes. Instead, two were allowed to retire with full pension and benefits while a third was ‘counseled’.”He included the internal affairs reports of the three majors, as well as 44 other cases, as exhibits for his motion.

Sheridan’s civil suit also names former State Police Commissioner Paul Evanko, Deputy Commissioner Thomas Coury and Lt. Col. Hawthorne Conley as defendants.Maj. William Dixon not only raped an employee and forcibly performed oral sex on her but he grabbed the breasts and buttocks of another employee and the breasts and buttocks of a third, the documents show.

A deputy commissioner, who was not identified, gave Woodring a “constructive counseling session” after an investigation sustained the allegations, the documents show. Woodring later retired.

In September 2000, a state police clerk accused her former lover, Maj. Roger Peacock, of stalking and harassing her.

She said he even once tried to run her off the road, the motion said.Peacock was allowed to retire with full pension and benefits.The three majors could not be reached for comment last night.

Bad Cop… No Doughnut!

–Rogue

MO’ BAD COPS–Fired cop pleads guilty to sex charges Oregon – A former police officer accused of coercing women into providing sexual favors while he worked the graveyard shift has pleaded guilty to four felony charges.

Juan Francisco Lara, 29, faces a maximum sentence of 26 years at a hearing tentatively scheduled for Feb. 23, his original trial date. He remained free on bail.

Lane County District Attorney Doug Harcleroad announced the conviction late Tuesday in written statement. Harcleroad wrote that he made no deals regarding the length of Lara’s sentence.Lara pleaded guilty to three counts of official misconduct and one count of public indecency, Harcleroad said.

Lara, who has a wife and two young sons, was arrested Aug. 5 and pleaded innocent at his arraignment. He was fired from the police department on Sept. 10.

Police have said he met the women during his 2 1/2 years as a patrol officer. He met two of them while responding to calls for service at their respective homes. He later returned and engaged in sex acts while on duty and in uniform, investigators have said.

He met two other women as they left a downtown bar at closing time.

The indictment charged that Lara coerced a 40-year-old Eugene woman into performing oral sex last April. It said he threatened to use his position as a police officer to affect her negatively if she did not participate.

The indictment also refers to two separate occasions between June 26 and July 4 when Lara allegedly forced a 41-year-old woman to engage in oral sex against her will.

He was also accused of engaging in oral sex in a public place sometime between Aug. 5, 2001, and Dec. 31, 2002.

Magana, 40, is being held at the Lane County Jail on $4.2 million bail. He has pleaded innocent to allegations that he sexually assaulted or raped 15 different women during his time as a patrol officer.

Magana, who has since been fired from the department, faces life in prison if convicted of all counts.

His trial is scheduled for next month.

–from Rogue

BIKERNET MIDDLE EAST RELATIONS– We have been informed that the Arabs do not like to be called “towel heads”.

The item they wear on their heads is actually a small sheet.Effective immediately, please call them “little sheet heads.”

Thank you for your cooperation.

–from Helen Wolfe

HARLEY PROJECT–My project is moving along? This is about where I am going to stop for awhile till more funds. Next step, sell all Shovel parts and frame to get stretched frame and going with EVO motor.

–arturo gomez
bigtuttie@yahoo.com

NEW WHITEHORSE PRESS MANUAL–We are pleased to announce publication of Mark Zimmerman’s new book, THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE: TIPS AND TECHNIQUES TO KEEP YOUR MOTORCYCLE IN TOP CONDITION, 256 pages, 500 illus, $29.95. Copies are now in stock and if you’d like to order one for yourself or a friend, click onwww.whitehorsepress.com

This authoritative guide helps all riders master basic motorcycle maintenance skills and keep their favorite two-wheel machines running smoothly and safely. Included are simpler tasks such as oil and coolant changes, bleeding brakes, changing drive chains, replacing fork seals and balancing tires, as well as more complex projects like properly adjusting today’s complex suspensions, synchronizing carburetors, and replacing a clutch.

The book is illustrated on every page with color photos and easy-to-follow diagrams that show you step-by-step how to perform each task. Whether you want to save time and money by performing maintenance on your bike, or you simply want to become a well-informed consumer when you take your bike to the dealer for service, you are sure to find valuable help in this book.

You might also want to check out our popular and affordable MOTORCYCLE LIFT for those mid-winter wrenching projects. This is one of the best we’ve seen in price and quality! $189.95

We also feature an ingenious new workshop light called the LOC-LITE which points a brilliant LED bulb right where you want it. Check that out too while you’re on our web site. $35.00

RARE, UNPUBLISHED SADAM PHOTOS–Bikernet has a couple of connections imbedded inside Iraq. Here’s some unpublished shots after Sadam’s arrest. Why didn’t they rat pack the sonuvabitch?

–T.C.

BIKERNET TRAVEL ADVICE–A jumbo jet is just coming into the Tampa Airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, “This is your Captain. We’re on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Tampa Bay.”

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot, “Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Tampa?”

“Well,” says the skipper, “first I’m gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap…. then I’m gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner….. then I’m gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and put it to her big time, all night.”

Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess.

Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane.She’s so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady’s bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: “No need to hurry, dear.He’s gotta take a shit first.”

–From Bubblehead

BIKERNET NASA CONNECTION–Still not released to the public, Bikernet reporter sent in this rare shot from the surface of Mars.

NEW ARIZONA MAGAZINE–THUNDER RIDERS– Give me a call at either 602-971-2912. I plan of publishing fiction, tech articles and event coverage. The first issue of Thunder Riders is out. I could use the help.

–Clay Douglas

ROGUE DAYTONA REPORTS– Was that Angel dust I snorted? Ha Ha. Shit it has been so long I can?t remember.

(See Daytona Bike Week Report on the home page.) Those were some good days and I am happy to say that I am still having good days though not exactly the same way.

Glad to see that you got the Jack Daniels part right and we do need to do a bottle one of these days.

It is a little early for items on Bike Week in Daytona Beach to appear in local publications. There are other news items though that can give an insight to were things are going.

A main one is growing Massive Re-Development in Daytona Beach proper. It will affect some aspects of Bike Week and slowly continue to move events more to the mainland and surrounding areas. It’s been creeping on us for some time.

I will send material near the end of Jan. and of course the early part of Feb. Any news will head your way.

I am sure that we will have plenty of good material heading into Bike Week and steady material during the event.

–Rogue

QUOTE OF THE WEEK–“How many times do you have to be hit on the head before you find out who’s hitting you?” Harry Truman

–from Nick Roberts

DUCKIN’ OUT–That’s it for the news. I need to hit the list bad. I’m burnin’ daylight.

Last week a reader wrote about his run to Bolivia. “Just back from Bolivia,” Jim Buck reported. “It was a wild ride all around. You’ve got to love a country with few laws and less enforcement. A few scorpions visited the bano’ in the casa of me wife’s familia. I caught ’em, put ’em on ice and brought em back with me. The three are now floating in an alcohol bath waiting to be molded, mounted and sprayed with a fixative.” See example below.

Later Jim sent us a couple of images from his trip, which I had to pass on this week. If you experience a wild ride don’t hesitate to write it up and send it to Bandit@bikernet.com. Send along low resolution jpg images, no larger that 500 pixels tall or wide.

If your story is feature worthy, we’ll edit, code the images and run it as a separate feature. If not you’ll see it in the news. Each feature story gets a year subscription to Bandit’s Cantina, but it better be damn good.

Check your list, then relax goddamnit and ride.

–Bandit

Continued From Page 1

FLOW BENCH CONFESSION– I guilty. I haven’t done a update on my Flowbench for Bikernet.com. I worked on it, just haven’t had a digital camera to use to let you in on the progress. Excuses are like assholes everbodys got one. Just don’t fire me Boss!!

Anyway in the meantime checkout www.tractorsport.com/flowbench. This is a forum on Dyno’s and flowbenches. It covers one like I’m building (orifice plate) & laminar flow/pitot tube type. This website has been a great help to me. There are many mistakes in the original Popular Hot Rodding ’93 flowbench plans. A guy from MSD made the one I’m building that P.H.R. featured. Also check out www.audietech.com. They have plans and gizmos for flow benches.

One thing I gotta say, building flowbench is whole lotta work. Need to think ahead. Try not to paint yourself in a freaking corner. So be advised.

This e-mail might help till I get my shit in one sock and get on the ball.

–Pablo

Just barely–Bandit.

DYNA WIDE TIRE KIT FROM BIG BOAR–Dyna 250 Fat Tire $2,495.00.Our new Dyna 250 Fat Tire kit allows you to convert your current stock Dyna to a Super Fat 250MM Tire!

BIKERNET SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS–Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to F.B.I. headquarters where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted men.

One of the youngsters pointed to the picture on top and asked if it really was the photo of Osama Bin Laden.

“Yes,” said the agent. “The bureau wants him very badly.”

So Little Johnny asked, “Why the f–k didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”

ROGUE FILES ON BAD COPS–Personally I do not see why I was sent this from Bad Cop. I think it’s pretty funny.

Cop suspended for e-mailing his balls to ex-wife Indiana – An Indiana police officer is suspended after sending a photo of his genitals to his ex-wife through his department’s e-mail.

Officer Stan Brown, a seven-year member of the Pendleton Police Department, sent the picture last month.

Authorities say someone alerted them through a complaint.The officer admitted to sending the email.

Brown’s serving 30 days of unpaid suspension and will receive a six-month pay reduction and a written reprimand.

Funny Cop: Meet me in Daytona and I will Buy You A Box Of Donuts

–Rogue

BANDIT’S BEDROLLS AVAILABLE–They’re ready to ship with shoulder straps, the latest fasteners and new installation instructions we shot the other day. Check out the bedroll strapped to the King. Prices are reduced for 2004. Check the Gulch below to order.

BIKERNET BOYS NIGHT OUT– Frank is sitting in his local bar with his buddies, sharing a beer and bragging about his sex life.Frank says, I have great sex with my wife. She’s very vocal, she can really rattle the windows, and most of it really turns me on. I love it when she screams, ‘Harder!’I love it when she screams, ‘Faster!’ “

“Man, you lucky dog!” Says his one buddy. “But come on and tell the truth, isn’t there sometimes a problem with your sex life?”

“The only problem I have…” Frank said dejectedly, “Is when she screams, ….’Deeper!'”

–from Rogue

BIKERNET BEDSIDE MANNER–A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma forseveral months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. Oneday, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat byhim, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been withme all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to supportme. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were bymy side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my healthstarted failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”

“Whatdear?”she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

“I think you’re bad luck, get away from me.

–from Dr. Hamster

BIKERNET MOST WANTED LIST–This is Tom Mallory. Tom was a trusted person in several different M/C agendas, such as ABATE of California and a club in Ventura, California. With ABATE he served as the Treasurer of Local #13 and was the clubhouse manager. It seems that one day he wanted to leave Ventura and, in doing so, stole money from ABATE Local #13’s accounts. He stole money from the General Fund, Toy Run account, as well as the Emergency Fund set up to assist Local #13’s members in a time of need. He then cleaned out the clubhouse funds.

No one knows exactly how much money he has gotten away with, as he managed to destroy all the bank records for the last year, however, initial reports list Local #13’s loss at close to $3,000. He was known to drive a white Ford Ranger with a blue stripe at the bottom. He may also have his bike-a Kawasaki Vulcan with windscreen-on the truck. He was known to visit the Edgewater Hotel and Casino in Laughlin, Nevada, often. As you can see, his arms are heavily tattooed as are both his legs. The most noticeable leg tattoo will be his “Rockabilly” cat.Tom has also used the names: Thomas Mallery; Tomas O’Mallory and Thomas O’Mallery. He has brown hair and blue eyes. He’s 6-foot and, at one time, weighed 245 pounds. His weight has drastically changed as he has a drug problem. When he was last seen he weighed approx. 180 pounds. His D.O.B. is 03-23-61 and his CDL is C2264640. He wears glasses most of the time, both indoors and out and is required to wear them while driving.

Tom plays the guitar and has been know to eek out a living playing in bands at local bars. Although his last known address was in Ventura, he has a father in the San Luis Obispo/Paso Robles area in California. He has made mention of traveling to NY and FL as well.

Tom has been know to attend many M/C related events (Runs, Bike Shows, Tattoo Shows) and many different styles of musical events. He had in his possession over 100 guitars and may be trying to pawn them or place them in a music store that sells equipment on consignment.

Please, if you see him, or have any information on him, give Swede a call at 805-650-6502 or contact Scott McCool, President of ABATE Local #13 805-657-2454.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Man I had a friend come over and he was telling me he read the interview that Bandit did on me a few years back. Spooky….most of the things that I said have happened. Yeah call me fucking Nostradamus or whatever; it’s still weird how things have changed so much in such a short time. On the same line, and as you all know, I’m still up to my ears in the new shop. While being bombarded by e-mails from Hawaii on the Discovery gig with the Ness family and the huge waves that hit this week, I could care less for the Build Off cause they will both win no matter what. Meanwhile two brilliant builders, Hank Young and Chica will have to fight it out, leaving one out, which is a shame since they are both our good friends and they would be very interesting on a second round. Not to hit on the Ness camp, but either way one of his bikes will continue to the next round. Although I admire Arlen a lot, his newer bikes are not my style, but I would have enjoyed a lot more the mega master builders versus the small shop kinda deal. Still I would love to be able to go back to Hawaii even for a couple days and God knows I need the fucking rest! I’m glad for the guys in Hawaii for the exposure, but still wondering when the fuck is Discovery going to show his nose down the Caribbean!

The shop is well on the side of being done. We are already planning the party, not an opening, but a customer/friends appreciation kinda deal. One thing I’m sure is that there will be total mayhem. We are even working on a half pipe for the area; I guess kids will be kids. The graffiti is done and since Daytona is around the corner I’m changing my Bob the builder cap and doing some delayed work on the bikes, there will be a cool surprise for Daytona, if I finish on time….

Since not all is work we have managed to take some time off, skate at bit or even do burnouts on little jap bikes right inside the shop. I guess that’s were the idea for the half pipe started.One more thing, any of the people we buy stuff from please get our new address, it’s:

Caribbean Custom Cycles
2 Acacia street Bldg 1
Monterey Industrial Park
San Juan, PR 00920

Please take note, although we will forward our mail, packages and such from UPS and Fed Ex need the new address.

I have lot’s of news but most can’t be told, you know Discovery building stuff, plans for Daytona and the rampant bunch of envious dicks that try to make our lives harder……I just got some photos from one of my web site fans and it’s worth checking it out, www.prbikeweekend.com”>http:// www.prbikeweekend.com if you can see thru the smoke, I mean.

Well that’s about it for now, there’s still many things to do before we can go and have fun. I still am very tempted to split Hawaiian style, I know Femme Nu is waiting.

See ya next week……Caccia la Volpe…if you can.

Jose Caribbean Bikernet report, news , gripes and bitchin’

Continued On Page 3

I’m a nut, as you might have guessed. I keep a goddamn list going constantly. The list contains freelance article deadlines, parts needed to finish the FXR, a handful of phone numbers and a list of articles for the site. Generally, for a hell-bent-for-leather bastard like myself, the list keeps me on top of the day’s activities, but not today. On top of the goddamn list was the Bikernet News, then an FXR tip, a feature on the first Muscle Steed bike sporting a 300 Avon and a historic piece on an old riding partner Indian John.

Once in awhile the list ain’t worth shit. Best laid plans fall apart when the phone rings, the door clatters and the computer crashes. I haven’t done shit. We better get started before I’m in more trouble:

KILLER OIL TANK– The best of form & function for a true custom oil tank. Highly polished stainless steel & tig welded with battery box (6 7/8 x 3 7/16 x 6 1/8 to accept any Harley battery used on Softail ’97-up). For Harley ’94-up, custom rigid and after-market Softail frames. Contains just under 3 quarts of oil with center fill (oil cap included). Simply beautiful.

Cyril Huze
Tel: 561-392-5557
http://www.cyrilhuze.com

DEAL OF THE WEEK–Clean, stock 1990 FXR for 11,500 obo. It’s in Harbor City, California at Larry Settle’s Shop (310) 326-3466.

Poem Based on events that happened on 1/9/04 at The Blue Bird Lounge.

Cheap Shot

~~~~~~~~~~~

Mother Fuckin’
Cheap Shot
Trouble Maker
Start’n Shit
Over What?

Somethin Your
Drunk Daddy
Said He Overhead
You Didn’t Fall
Far From The Tree
You Got Some Nerve

Throw’n Punches
Over Words
That Were Never Said
One Day Maybe
You Will Learn
To Drop Your Fists
Use You Head

Next Time I
Might Be Pack’n
More Then This
Knife On My Hip

Be Proud Of
Your “Knock Out”
Only I Know The
Real Score
Your Insecure
Needed To Prove
Your Big ‘N’ Bad
Trying To Impress
A Bitter And Drunk Man

So Take You “Win”
Hold Onto It Tight
This Biker Has
Nothing To Prove
No Need To Fight

Respect Is Not Earned
By A Quick Fist
Respects Reserved
For The Righteous

One Day You Will
Come Off Your Trip
Realise What I Say
Is True And Respect It

Until Then Just
Stay Outta My Way
I Gave Up Fighting
With Fists Long Ago
But I Won’t Be Nobody’s
Punchin’ Bag

— by Panhead Josh Of Outlaws World

WORKIN’ ON YOUR BIKE DOESN’T NEED TO BE STOOP LABOR– With the Kendon Stand-Up Bike Lift you won’t spend a month’s wages to get your bike up to a comfortable working height. The Stand-Up Bike Lift is designed for ease of use and economical storage. It is a true one-person lift; the built-in wheel chock holds the bike upright while secured to the lift. The single point controls allow the bike to be raised up with one hand. When not in use the lift rolls on castors and stores in a vertical position and requires less than three square feet of floor space.

The Kendon Stand-Up Bike Lift features a hydraulic mechanism; you don’t need a compressed air supply or electricity to use it. The lift is fabricated from high quality round steel tubing. It features all welded construction with a black powder coated finish.

The Kendon Stand-Up Lift will raise your bike up to a 32-inch working height. It has a 1,000 lb. capacity. The lift is covered by a one-year limited warranty.

650627 Kendon Stand-Up Bike Lift $749.95

http://www.customchrome.com/>www.customchrome.com

Or call 800-729-3332 for the dealer nearest you.

DEAR ABBY–My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond.

Sincerely, Bitchy in Boston

HAIRPIN SEAT SPRING– For Solo Seats,Part # 180145.A classic look, this cool “Hairpin” style spring is an alternative to the standard style coil spring found under most solo seats. Sold each.

Price: 14.95 Each

THE NICK SOAP BOX–Here’s an idea that we could all lobby Harley to take up. Since they are an American Motorcycle Manufacturer why not start to make all their clothes and other items in the USA too? I don’t think a pricing argument would hold water given the premium prices that H-D gets, not just for their bikes, for all it’s other products.

Think about it. The company asks for, and receives, our loyalty; it then sells us apparel made in Pakistan, Mexico, India, Indonesia, etc. They are afforded the privilege of making an American machine on American soil and selling the vast majority of their bikes right here in America. They operate in the safest possible part of the world thanks in no small part to the protection afforded by the American Armed Forces which is supported by the American citizen’s taxes.

They benefit in innumerable ways from their status as an American Icon. There are HOG chapters all over the world whose members ride Harleys because they love the idea of owning a small piece the American dream. It is not right that H-D should manufacture anything overseas unless it is being sold over there. Don’t argue that they are simply being good businessmen when they do this because there is more to being a citizen than just waving the flag and saying how proud you are to be an American. Supporting their customers and their fellow citizens is certainly one big way for H-D to show it’s patriotism.

Every one of us has a responsibility to our fellow American citizens to purchase products made in the USA because the money spent flows indirectly to our fellow Americans. There are several apparel makers in the USA that sell their Made in the USA products for the same price that H-D gets for their foreign made goods. It isn’t like you walk into a Harley dealer expecting to get a great deal on a pair of jeans anyway. H-D jeans are made in Mexico by people that make a pittance for their labor. Why should they be even more expensive than a pair of jeans made in America? The only answer is that some people at H-D think more about the bottom line, and maximizing their profit, than they do about supporting the Americans who buy their product.

I’m not here to bang on Harley, after all their T-shirts are Made in America at R.K Stratman in Missouri, so it is possible to buy at least some apparel in a Harley Store that is benefitting our fellow American citizens. All I’m trying to say is that it’s time for Harley to expand on their vision for the next 100 years and bring all their business back to America.

–Nick Roberts

For All Your High Performance Lubrication Supplies.http://syntheticoiltech.com/oil/nicksperformance/

Nick’s Performance Accessories
Independent Amsoil Dealer ZO# 1124190
9608 Tiverton Way
Louisville, Kentucky,40242
phone: 502-548-3023

S&C SPORTSTER–this is a ’68 ….built to play on.The sporty is in a Honda 500 frame. 2-inch knobby on the front, 18-inch knobby on the rear. Extended swingarm and mono shock. 1968 900 Sporty engine. Better photos coming.

–Skoot, from S&C Customs

THE STEALTH REPORT–I was off work today (my birthday) and the weather man gave me some good weather, sunny and 60 degrees! I went out for a ride and while I was riding I got to thinking about what influenced me to be a biker and to get into bikes. Some say you are born a biker. In a lot ways I agree with that, and if that is true what was the first thing that happened to let you know you were going to be a biker?

I would like to relate two of my stories: The first took place when I was in the 5th grade. I was 11 years old and it was summer time. I grew up in a small town in Virginia, where everyone knows everyone. A one percenter had been killed, I won’t go into details, but he belonged to one of THE BIG FOUR clubs. He had served in the armed forces in Vietnam. As it happens, my little hometown was the home of a national cemetery. Everyone was in a panic! The town would be destroyed, people beaten or killed, all the things Hollywood portrayed. The day of the funeral the townspeople were telling everyone to hide from the streets. My brothers and I were smack in the middle of main street (the whole 10 blocks) when we heard what sounded like rumbling thunder. The procession rolled through, and I remember watching citizens peeped out of the store front windows. There were fifty bikes. I remember waving at one of the bikers and he just kind of nodded his head at me. I remember everything, the power, the bikes and the brothers. The funeral went off without a hitch. No trouble at all! The club came to say their good-byes to a fallen brother and that was it! Everyone breathed a sigh of relief except me, I was sorry they didn’t stay longer!

Next, I remember the 10th grade. As soon as school let out, I headed for the local Harley dealer. Two guys ran it, and at the most they kept a total of five new bikes in stock! Unlike today’s so called super-stores, the little shop was packed with heart and soul. I rolled in everyday, and they would let me sit on a bike. They never ran me off, maybe they could sense I was serious about Harleys! There was a butterscotch and a black Sportster, a blue and a black Super Glide and a black dresser. I always picked the black Sportster to sit on. I remember gazing into that black tank. The paint looked a foot deep. I saw myself looking back in the reflection and said, “One day I am going to own one of these!”

I remember telling my Dad how much they cost, $2500.00 for a kick start Sportster and $2,700.00 for electric start model. Yeah, the decimal point is in the right place! I remember my Dad’s response, “Boy you would have to be out of your mind to pay that for a motorcycle!”

Later in life my Dad and I joked about that story. No matter what was said, nothing detered me from being a biker. I was determined to do it. I am sure many riders think back on old times. For me, maybe it was the birthday thing?

Later!
–Mike(THE STEALTH)

MOVING NOTICE- CARIBBEAN CUSTOM CYCLES–The new address is:Caribbean Custom Cycles
#2 Acacia street Bldg 1
Monterey Industrial park
San Juan PR 00920
The number will be the same, plus a new one 787.770-0633

— Jose De Miguel

BIKERNET DUCK CLUB–A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she layher pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listenedto the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadlyandsaid,”I’m so sorry, Cuddles has passed away.”

The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. The duckis dead,” he replied.

“How can you be so sure,” she protested. “Imean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything.He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returneda few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’sowner looked on in amazement, the dog stoodon his hind legs, put his front paws onthe examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He thenlooked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few momentslater with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and alsosniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat backon its haunches, shook its head, meowedsoftly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman andsaid, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely,100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys andproduced a bill which he handed to the woman.

The duck’s owner, stillin shock, took the bill. “$150!”, she cried,”$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!”

The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry. If you’d taken my word for it, the billwould have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it wentup considerably!”

–from Helen Wolfe

Continued On Page 2

From TheGUNNY’S SACK

Well folks, here we are again. Right now, it’s snowing to beat the band and I’m in Portland, Oregon, fer cryin’ out loud! There are around seven inches on the ground right now and doesn’t look like it’s gonna stop. It’s not supposed to snow THIS much here. On top of that we have freezing rain and sleet, and there’s a thick layer of ice on the pavement. A whole bunch of us, including myself and our AIM Attorney Sam Hochberg, couldn’t get a flight out to attend the NCOM Regional Meeting in Sacramento, California, but I heard it was a good one. Even without our Oregon congregation, the rooms were packed with concerned riders from the region. Good to hear, but I sure wish I coulda been there!

JAKARTA: Looks like the local companies who manufacture motorcycles in Indonesia aren’t looking for new investment, even though the demand is rising there, according to this story I saw online from the Jakarta Post. What’s the reason? Well, they don’t need new investors because they’re SELLING damn near THREE MILLION BIKES A YEAR over there! Again I say, why not here? Why is the rest of the world building and riding more and more bikes and all we get is more SUV’s? Not to mention NHTSA, EPA and the guverment doing their level best to kick bikes off the roads altogether.

LOS ANGELES: The 2003 BMW R 1150 R Rockster is one of BMW’s most stylish and agile scooters. In a new film called “Paycheck”, this BIKE will join a cast that includes Ben Affleck and Uma Thurman. The $10,790 BMW moves real fast when things get sticky. Might be a movie to go see. This bike was recently introduced in the USA from Europe and I’m told the thing is quick as scat.

FLANDREAU, S.D.: A few weeks before this writing, Rep. Bill Janklow filed a motion asking that he either be acquitted of second-degree manslaughter or granted a new trial, claiming prosecutors didn’t present enough evidence to convict him of manslaughter when he killed a biker because he was speeding and had run through a stop sign. Next is liable to be an appeal. It’s time to quit playing games and hold him responsible for his actions.

As of Thursday evening Bill Janklow, one of South Dakota’s most powerful political figures for most of three decades, will spend the 100 days behind bars in the company of thieves and drunks as punishment for an Aug. 16 accident that killed a Minnesota man.

Circuit Court Judge Rodney Steele today sentenced Janklow to serve his time begining in Feb. 7 in the Minnehaha County Jail in Sioux Falls for second-degree manslaughter and three misdemeanors in connection the accident. He will be eligible for work release after 30 days but must spend each night in jail. Janklow also received a suspended imposition of sentence, which means if he completes his jail time and a term of probation the felony conviction will be removed from his record.

NORTH CAROLINA: Lying on the ground with his motorcycle handle bar jammed six inches into his abdomen, Brian Shipwash reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box that was broken and bloody, and asked his sweetie if she would marry him. He’d meant to surprise her at her home but the accident changed things for him. By the way she said YES.

A DOCTORED QUOTE: My boss Sam Hochberg showed me this quote recently. It’s the original dedication from Arthur Kinoy’s “Disorientation Handbook” for the NLG (National Lawyers Guild), and it reads like this: “The test for a peoples’ lawyer is not always the technical winning or losing of the formal proceedings. The real test is the impact of the legal activities on the morale and understanding of the people involved in the struggle.” This sure does apply to our AIM Lawyers, guys. Every time I read a press release about what any ONE of them did for biker’s rights, or hear about a good settlement for an injured biker, MY morale really IS lifted, and my understanding IS improved. Along with all the other bikers rights warriors out there, THESE folks inspire us all. Now if I wasn’t such an OLD fart, I’d be thinking real seriously about going to law school, just because THESE AIM LAWYERS MAKE A DIFFERENCE in our world. The least I can do is spread the word. For more info, or for a free consultation on any legal issue or injury claims, call the main AIM (Aid to Injured Motorcyclists) number, and they’ll put you in touch with the AIM attorney for YOUR state. Call 1-800-ON-A-BIKE, or check ’em out on the web at www.ON-A-BIKE.com.

MASS. BIKERS ROAR OVER INSURANCE ISSUES AND FILE SUIT SEEKING RETURN OF $100 MILLION IN EXCESSIVE PREMIUMS & COVER OVERCHARGING: Bikers in Boston are suing the Division of Insurance and Automobile Insurers Bureau saying they’ve been overcharged more than $100,000,000.00 in premiums. “For two years at public rate hearings we’ve brought these issues of coverage not available to motorcycle consumers to the Commissioner and the Auto Insurers Bureau (AIB),” said Betsy Lister of Medford, a member of the Board of Directors of the Massachusetts Motorcycle Association (MMA) and owner of a Medford Insurance agency. “And for two years we’ve been put off.” Now the bikers will be heard I’ll betcha. And I’m thinkin’ maybe some of the rest of us in other states need to take a look at what those insurers are doing. By the way, besides sitting on the MMA Board, Betsy puts out a great biker e-newsletter! You can subscribe to it by sending an e-mail to Gypsypashn@aol.com.

NEW YORK: The NY Times, that is. So a few months back, our story-scavenger, my boss, Oregon AIM Attorney Sam Hochberg, ran into a good one. The Times ran a Living section cover piece about some of us over-the-hill bikers, or at least over-50 bikers, and our bad backs from years of riding, lifting, trucking, or what-not.

The picture showed a biker with his hardtail, and he said he HAD to ride it, as a matter of pride, but he couldn’t ride it very LONG anymore. Some guys I know can hardly walk after a good ride! What I’D LIKE TO KNOW is what we can DO about it! Maybe we swallow our pride a little and get a cushier ride. I finally realized some years ago that I didn’t have to prove anything to anybody.

Any SACK READERS out there who’ve found a better way to ride with a lousy back, can e-mail me and Sam at AIMGunny@aol.com and SamBikeLaw@aol.com , or if you don’t have a computer, fax it to SAM at (503) 224-3869, and we’ll put together a special “Back-Sack” edition if we get some responses! We’ll give you credit for it, and we’ll even give away an AIM T-Shirt to the best solution. The funny part is the name of the Times’ story: “Not So Easy Riders.”

PENNSYLVANIA: In February 1999 a child was asphyxiated while wearing a bicycle helmet and playing on playground equipment. Evidently he was caught between two over lapping horizontal platforms when his helmet would not fit through the gap between them where his body had already gone. Pressure on his chest as his lower body dangling prevented him from breathing.

Parents, this sort of thing really bothers me. Why in the world would any child need a helmet when playing on playground equipment? It was later found that the gap between the bars on the play equipment was too close together and the helmet would not pass through the opening. There are guidelines about that sort of thing that manufacturers are required to follow now. Nevertheless, I can’t say it any stronger, PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE for their kids’ safety.

Keep the round side on the bottom,

–Gunny, Oregon AIM Chief of Staff

Continued From Page 3

DISCOVERY CHANNEL PRESENTS THE GREAT BIKER BUILD BIKE & SHOW–

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ALL PARTICIPANTS WILL RECEIVE A VOTER BALLET TO JUDGE THE BIKE SHOW AT HARDROCK CAFE, ARLEN & CORY’S BIKES WILL BE JUDGED SEPARATELY FROM THE LOCAL BIKE SHOW.

REGISTRATION FOR LOCAL BIKE SHOW WILL BEGIN AT 1:00 PM.WITH A $25.00 ENTRY FEE

CLASSES WILL BE : FULL CUSTOM
OLD SCHOOL CHOPPER
NEW SCHOOL CHOPPER
VINTAGE

$200.00 CASH TO THE FIRST PLACE IN EACH CLASS
ALL JUDGING WILL BE PEOPLE’S CHOICE.
ADDITIONAL VOTER BALLETS CAN BE PURCHASED AT THE HARDROCK CAFE FOR $10.00
BALLETS WILL BE NUMBERED FOR PRIZES
CUSTOM SURFBOARD BY TOWN & COUNTRY
GRAND PRIZE ROUND TRIP TICKETS AND HOTEL FOR TWO TO “LAS VEGAS”

THIS SHOW IS ONLY A WARM UP FOR THE SECOND ANNUAL ” CHOPPERS ONLY SHOW ” COMING UP JULY 4TH WEEKEND…

SWAMP STORY COMING–I just wanted to let you know that the illustrationsare going to be finished by the end of next week. Here is the pencil version of the main illustration. I will be able to turn in both the full colorillustration and the second black and whiteillustration to you by Saturday.

Thanks again and see you soon,

–George Fleming

LIMO RIDING BANK ROBBER–Ricky Beale rode in the back of a stretch limousine to rob a Bank of America of $5,000, San Francisco police say, only to earn a free ride to jail later Thursday.

Beale, 31, a personal trainer, hired the limo to take him from his studio on Van Ness Avenue to San Francisco International Airport, said Inspector Dan Gardner of the robbery detail. Beale told the driver to stop at his girlfriend’s place.

Instead of visiting his girlfriend, however, Beale went to the Bank of America branch at 3701 Balboa St., police said, and allegedly robbed two tellers after simulating having a handgun.

A witness spotted Beale getting into the limo. Police were alerted and pulled the car over at 20th Ave. and Lincoln Way at 11:20 a.m.

–from Rogue

BIKERNET BEDROLLS RETURN–Bandit,What happened to the Bed and Day Rolls? Attached is a pic of me having fun onmy scoot. Thought you might appreciate this a bit more than the averagebear. Jockey shifted Pan has run a best of 13.0 at 103 mph.

Regards, Bob Kotmel

Bedrolls and Dayrolls are back, at reduced prices, in the Gulch. Check it out, they even come with shoulder straps and reuseable ty-wraps. They’re the best.

OUTLAWS CLUBHOUSE RAIDED–At a Christmas party, full of food, family and festive cheer held by the local Outlaws Motorcycle Club’s clubhouse state troopers and local police knocked down the two doors, ordered everyone to hit the floor, handcuffed and photographed each of the revelers, searched for illegal guns, and ripped open their presents.

Police were there on Dec. 20 to execute a search warrant, but they made no arrests and found none of the guns they were looking for. Now the Outlaws claim police violated their civil rights and say they plan to file suit in federal court.

Police were looking for Frank Nelson and were granted warrants to search his car, his home and the Outlaws’ clubhouse at 27 Division St., where police say he is the sergeant at arms. Nelson was arrested in 1994 on a misdemeanor charge that prohibits him from owning guns. State records show that he has nine weapons registered to him, according to one of the three search warrant affidavits unsealed Monday.

According to the affidavits, which were signed by Waterbury Superior Court Judge Michael Hartmere, police felt the search was justified because Nelson had guns registered to him that he is not allowed to have, because he is an Outlaw, and because the Outlaws are known to store personal belongings at the clubhouse. Police also searched his home, and hoped to search his car, but they could not find it.

Kathleen Eldergill is the attorney for the Outlaws. She is also representing five state Department of Correction employees who are under investigation for their alleged association with the Outlaws. Eldergill has said she will file suit on First Amendment grounds if her clients are disciplined.

In the case of last month’s search, she says she’ll argue the Fourth Amendment’s protection from unreasonable searches and seizures.

“It’s kind of scary to think you can be at a party, the police can raid you, handcuff you, detain you for as long as they want to, and then say before you leave, you have to have your picture taken,” Eldergill said. “That’s scary, I think. A lot scarier than the motorcycle club.”

–from Rogue

SMOKE OUT NEWS–I got a call from Goth Girl last night minutes before she was going on the air for a radio interview. She went on record during the interview that she is riding out to the Smoke Out this year. California to North Carolina. Hard-core lady. A car tagged her the day before Thanksgiving. It broke her foot and slid the bike about four feet, but she kept the bike up and didn’t high side. She was back on the bike the day the cast came off.

We talked for ten minutes after the interview. In ten minutes we covered some memories from the last Smoke Out like the little know karaoke debut in the Pink Lady Lounge by Indian Larry (and her admiration for his surprisingly silky smooth singing voice), her past with you (interesting, no further comment- she says hi), favorite movies, past and future Discovery channel plans, music, the wall of death and the major tragedy that the Devil Doll calendar will be six months late or not come out at all this year (I’ll never make it anywhere when I should). A lot in ten minutes but Goth can talk about 400 miles an hour when she is revved (so that is like 30 minutes in normal time).

The party is heating up. I am hearing from many Bikernet fans excited that you are coming and demanding a small gathering of the Bikernet faithful.

–Edge

THE BIKERNET MOVIE DEPARTMENT–I’m writing on behalf of Warner Bros. Pictures to see if you would be interested in helping us promote our newest release, Torque. The moviestars Ice Cube, Martin Henderson, Monet Mazur, Matt Schulze, Jaime Pressly.Torque opens nationwide January 16th, 2004.

Set in the fast-paced world of motorcycle racing, Cary Ford (Henderson)is framed by a long-time rival, Henry (Schulze). As Cary and his friendsmake a run for it, they have the most notorious and feared biker gang in thecountry and the FBI on their tails.

THE BOLIVIAN RUN REPORT–Just back from Bolivia. It was a wild ride all around.You’ve got to love a country with few laws and lessenforcement. A few scorpions visited the bano’ in thecasa of me wifes familia. I caught em, put em on iceand brought em back with me. The three are nowfloating in an alcohol bath waiting to be molded,mounted and sprayed with a fixative.

Beetles as big asmy hand and caterpillars close to 9 inches long swarmed overa tree on the property. A 500lb. Jaguar was takingdown cattle in a back country ranch about 100 klm awaya few weeks before we got there. He was caught and putinto the Santa Cruz Zoo. We made a visit and they hada total of eight Jaguars housed there from Bolivia andthe Pantanal. The zoo housed mostly local fauna;Jaguars, tapirs, Andean Condors, Harpe Eagles,Anacondas, javalinas and Puma.

I got inked in Santa Cruz by a Brazilian artist.Pirata Urbano (Urban Pirate) around me shoulder with askull medalion. Ink is cheap in Bolivia but the workis primo. Got me wife’s cousin his first piece as anXMas gift.

There is roughly 8 B’s (Bolivianos) to 1 US dollar. Apack of smokes cost 8 B’s and a case of brew is 5bucks US. A buck goes a long long way…

The cervesa is a local brand called Pacena’ with a fewdifferent brews. The Pacena Hauri is a thirstquencher. The trick is to drink it quick because inthe heat of the Amazon Basin (high 90’s, low 100’s &humid) it gets warm fast.

The bike scene is for transportation. No pretense justutility. The closest Harley dealer is in Lima, Peru.Most of the bikes were Jap dirt/enduro style, big andsmall. It wasn’t uncommon to see three to five peopleon one bike. One guy was ridin while his young wifebreast fed their baby behind him and two smallchildren squatted on the gas tank. There was a fellowin the back country with a Brit bike complete withsidecar loaded with his family and groceries from anoutdoor market.

Well that’s it for now. Got in at 3 A.M. and I gotta getsome shut eye. I’ll send off a few pix soon. Happy 2004

Live Free Or Die!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jim Buck

NEW BELT DRIVE–from DB Enterprises. I will have better photos next week. My patent will be finished by the end of the month and I will add Japan to it. I already have the provisional to keep everybody honest.

–Dave B.
d.benjamin@verizon.net

Tattooed & Scarred

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Look At Me
What Do You See?
These Tattoos And Scars
Run More Than
Skin Deep

Each One Tells
A Tale Of The Life
I Choose To Live
Some Happy ,Some Sad
Times I’ll Never Forget
Bar Room Fights
Cuts From Knifes
Maybe Even A
Bullet Wound Or Two

The Ink Runs
Deep As Well
Each Mark Has
Its Story To Tell

All Were Earned
By This Man
In Front Of You
Road Rash Has
Claimed It’s Fare Share
Scraped Off Skin
Ripped Out Hair

I Walk With A Limp
Some Old Wounds
Heal But Never
Really Go Away
So I Take Life
A Bit Slower
These Days

Other Scars You
Cannot See
The Ones Of The Heart
Don’t Heal So Easily
Some Wounds
Just Wont Heal
So I’ve Learned To Cope
I’ve Learned To Deal

Greying Before My Time
Wise Beyond My Years
I Just Want A Simple Life
That’s All I’ve Wanted
For Years
A Life With A
Few Less Tears

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

— By Panhead Josh Of Outlaws World.

ROGUE BAD COP INVESTIGATION CONTINUES–DAMN, There sure seems to be a lot of these Cops Fucking Up. And this is only the ones we know about. Sort of like the tip of the iceberg thing.

Bad Cop: Deputy arrested for theft at Walmart Texas – Police arrested Deputy Jose Perez, an 18-year veteran of the Bexar County Sheriff’s Office, Saturday night inside the Wal-Mart store near Loop 410 and Rigsby Avenue in East San Antonio.

“When something like this happens in our agency — or in any law enforcement agency — it’s a blow to all the officers,” Deputy Chief Henry Martinez said.

Police said that Perez tried to walk out of the Wal-Mart store with $500 worth of goods after paying just $70.

The Bexar County Sheriff’s Office speculated that it was just one instance in a chain of thievery that’s been going on for weeks involving several thousand dollars worth of merchandise.

“There’s no definite proof of who was cashiering, but there is some speculation that maybe a relative was involved or a friend of a relative,” Martinez said.

Perez was charged with theft — a class B misdemeanor. The sheriff’s office said those charges could upgraded pending further investigation.

Bad Cop… No Doughnut!

–from Rogue

THE CORK– Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck up in his butt.

If you do not mind me saying,” said the second, “that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?”

I regret I cannot”, lamented the first Arab. “It is permanently stuck up in my butt !”

“I do not understand,” said the other.

The first Arab says, “I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an old oil lamp. There was a poof of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American Flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out.

He said, “I am Uncle Sam, the Genie and I can grant you one wish.”

I said, “No shit?” and “Poof !”

God Bless America !

–from Redhorse

THAT’S IT–I’m taking a goddamn break. Should I tell you about her thigh, the bike we’re finishing, the ride I didn’t make, the most recent issue of HORSE or some bullshit Bandit philosophy?

On one hand I want to give it a break. I’ve been strapped to this goddamn computer chair all day, and I want sex, I mean “out”. On the other hand, I’m pumped. It’s gonna be one helluva year. Even Jesse James had a new daughter. The first baby born in 2004 in Long Beach.

So it’s gotta be one helluva new year.

Ride Forever,
–Bandit

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET WAKE-UP CALL– A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is three o’clock in the morning!”He slams the door and returns to bed.

“Who was that?” asked his wife.

“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.

“Did you help him?” she asks.

“No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is pouring outside!”

“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!”

The man does as he’s told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.

He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”

“Yes,” comes back the answer.

“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.

“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.

“Where are you?” asks the husband.

“Over here on the swing!” replies the drunk

–from Helen Wolfe

SKOOTER’S RIDE–Here’s what kickin’ strokers and riding hardtails got me….Now, I got me a button start evo stock…. That’s a x-ray of my spine…..even has a battery pack..The thing that looks like a headstone. Havent been able to ride for over a year now and the doc says I have a year to go before it’s all healed, and I can ride again. Two years ago I kicked my ’68 Shovel, 98-in. and it kicked back. Broke my lower back, but bro, it was a real fast stroker.

HERES THE ’68 THAT WRECKED MY BACK…TOOK ME FIVE YEARS TO BUILD IT.. AND YEAH IT HAD COMPRESSION…12 TO 1, WITH 8 GRAND IN THE ENGINE.

— SKOOTER

BIKERNET NUMBERS REPORT–Just FYI, Bikernet hit all time high numbers for December: 98,000 unique users, 420,000 visitors, impressions 2 million and 5 million hits. We must be doing something right. That number passed newsstand numbers for most bike mags including Motorcyclists at 72,000, Cycle World at 71,000 copies, Hot Bike at 64,000 and we’re creeping on American Iron. Not bad.

Old shot from Bob T.

MR. LUCKY COMES TO TOWN–Mr Lucky’s will be offering an eclectic mix of parts and accessories for H/D motorcycles as well as clothing and lifestyle products for the rider. As we put it; Cool parts for your Ride, Cool threads for you Hide!

As discussed, we acquired rights to the Jammer Cycle Products brand, and are putting together a product line focusing on the retro, chopper/bobber styles of the ’60s & ’70s. Springer front-ends, girders, rigid frames, jockey shifts, coffin tanks, trumpet mufflers, ape-hangers–all the chopper parts that Jammer introduced back in the 1970’s, which are once again the rage.

Along with the Jammer brand we acquired the jammerclub.com website, and are in the process of revamping the site adding the new parts along with wiring diagrams, tech tips etc. drawn from the old Jammer’s Handbook. IT should be cool.

Both the Mr Lucky’s and Jammer collections will be sold retail direct, utilizing the websites, mail-order and participation at events with our truck/trailer rig. Our debut will be the ‘Louisiana Bike Expo’ at the Superdome in New Orleans May 2-3-4.

Check out the site: http://www.jammerclub.com/

–Mr. Lucky

JIM MC CLURE COMIN’ AROUND–I don’t think all of you know that Jim got his new heart on Saturday. It has some rejection problems. They took him back to surgery yesterday and looked at the heart. It’s doing good. They were able to close the incision. He looks good but is expecting more surgery Friday.

Please continue to pray. He is not out of the woods, but the Doctors feel good, and we all know that the Lord is taking care of him.

Charlie Brewton

MYSTERY REVEALED– Joan Crawford’s long lost daughter.

–from Chris T.

The original Stealth, Mike Pullin, from Charlotte H-D.

THE STEALTH REPORT– One of the things I enjoy the most about my job is helping people customize and personalize their bikes. When a new customer buys a bike and takes the rider course we offer, we give them a complete tour of all the departments in the shop. I always tell them that they own the bike after all the paperwork is done, but it really isn’t theirs until they install their personal stamp and fingerprint. Most of them look at me like I am crazy! I may be!

A couple of weeks usually pass and they come back and we talk about personalizing the bike. I really enjoy when the light bulb comes on and they get into it. There is a ghost hiding in every bike, waiting to be seen. Every bike eventually takes on the personality of the owner. I tell people “You only live once, so make the bike the way you want it.”

Some will worry about how much they are spending, and I don’t pressure them to over spend. If I think they’re up to it, I usually say “Well you know what, I have never seen a U-Haul truck following a hearse at a funeral.” The point is to enjoy what you have now. Tomorrow is not a promise to any of us. The ones whose hearts aren’t really into it, find there is nothing more fun to do. Most of us who read this site know what I am talking about.

Another thing, it sure is fun doing something you love for a living. There is a saying that goes “Two of the most important things in life are finding what you are good at and what makes you happy, and if GOD is smiling down on you, they are both the same.” I have this framed in my office and try to read it every day. To me there isn’t anything better to do than customizing bikes and working at something you really don’t consider work!

So keep on chop’n and customizing and remember you don’t have to be on the Discovery Channel to have a custom bike!

Later!
–Mike(THE STEALTH)

RUN FOR BREATH UPDATE–Mike asked me to let you know that the 6th Annual Run For Breath “In Memory of Justin Pullin” will be held on Sunday, July 25, 2004. Ben’s V-Twins in uptown Charlotte will handle the poker run registration. The run will end at Tumbleweeds Bar & Grill in Monroe (formerly Buffalo’s Cafe) where we will have the bike show.

You wanted our contact numbers, so here goes.
H-D of Charlotte 704-847-4647, Mike ext. 112, Meanest, ext 100
Mike’s cell 704-516-4630
Meanest cell 704-651-9055

Our first planning meeting is Monday, January 26, so I’ll update you after that.

Now, get busy on that best of show trophy!!

Love and kisses,
–Meanest

BIKERNET WEATHER REPORT–Spokane, Washington, We’re snowed in – even Mailman didn’t go anywhere today. Now its freezin’ rain, but the blanket of snow is still on the ground.

–Luv,
Helen

ROGUE DIRTY COP REPORT EXPANDS–Maybe the Government Will Continue To Bust Dirty Cops. There is Just Too Many Incidents Like This Happening All Over The Country. It Has TO STOP!–Rogue

Bad Cop: Detroit Bad Cop examples Michigan – In a court filing, government prosecutors say indicted Detroit Police officers planted drugs and guns on residents at least 13 times during a two-year period.

Eighteen officers were indicted last year on corruption charges. The filing precedes two trials in U.S. District Court, the first of which is scheduled to begin in February, The Detroit News reported Wednesday.Wayne Circuit judges already have overturned the convictions of two men based on interviews with indicted officers.

“The officers planted drugs and guns on their victims. They claimed that the arrests of the victims occurred in public when actually (the) defendants entered the victims homes illegally and arrested them. They repeatedly made false claims of ‘hot pursuit’ to justify unlawful entries. They caused bodily injury to the victims and concealed that,” government lawyers John Engstrom and Michael Bullota said in a 50-page U.S. District Court filing Tuesday.

Bad Cop… No Doughnut!

–Rogue

BIKERNET FARM INVESTIGATION–A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer, seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease.

The Lady: Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?

The Farmer stared at the reporter and said: Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?

The lady reporter (obviously embarrassed): Well, sir, that’s a new pieceof information, but what’s the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?

The Farmer: And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?

The reporter: Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?

The Farmer: I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing youonce a year, wouldn’t you get mad?

–Rogue

NEW CARTOONIST–Dear Bandit, My name is Rick London and I am a disabled college student inHot Springs, Ar.

I’m also a cartoonist and thought of a fun cartoon that might work forBikernet for a Thanksgiving issue. Please let me know what youthink?

–Rick London
Londons Times Cartoons
www.londonstimes.us

Thanksgiving? Goddamnit, I just survived the holidays.

Old shot from Bob T.

BIKERNET TOP FUEL HORSEPOWER TRIVIA–One Top Fuel dragster 500 cubic inch Hemi engine makes more horsepower thanthe first 4 rows at the Daytona 500.

Under full throttle, a dragster engine consumes 10 gallons of nitromethaneper second; a fully loaded 747 consumes jet fuel at the same rate with 25%less energy being produced.

A stock Dodge Hemi V8 engine cannot produce enough power to drive adragster supercharger.

With 3000 CFM of air being rammed in by the supercharger on overdrive, thefuel mixture is compressed into a near-solid form before ignition.

Cylinders run on the verge of hydraulic lock at full throttle.

At the stoichiometric 1.7:1 air/fuel mixture for nitromethane the flamefront temperature measures 7050 degrees F.

Dual magnetos supply 44 amps to each spark plug. This is the output of anarc welder in each cylinder.Spark plug electrodes are totally consumed during a pass. After 1 way, theengine is dieseling from compression plus the glow of exhaust valves at 1400degrees F. The engine can only be shut down by cutting the fuel flow.

If spark momentarily fails early in the run, unburned nitro builds up inthe affected cylinders and then explodes with sufficient force to blowcylinder heads off the block in pieces or split the block in half.

In order to exceed 300 mph in 4.5 seconds dragsters must accelerate at anaverage of over 4G’s. In order to reach 200 mph well before half-track, thelaunch acceleration approaches 8G’s.

Dragsters reach over 300 miles per hour before you have completed readingthis sentence.

–from Larry Mallin

Continued On Page 4

Continued From Page 1

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Well I guess the New Year is already looking brighter, it’s a whole new world out there for us who like choppers and home building. The Discovery series is already rolling their cameras, the new shop is looking better and there are so many plans and events on the list, I even heard that ” The Factory” is jumping in the Choppers band wagon. I really hope that it’s not true. In reality, too much of a good thing can turn to shit. Mainstream is not the way to go when you dig doing your own stuff, being part of a unique clique who is not that unique anymore. Still there’s a slight balance between being good for business and being way over exposed.

Like people believing all choppers are ultra high dollar items with corny themes when in reality is as far from the truth as possible. As we all know, choppers are unique in the sense that they are bare, just what is actually needed is used, the lesser the gadgets the better. I don’t consider myself a salesman, I don’t push people to buy stuff and to top it off most of the time I tell them not to get the stuff that they came into my shop to buy, weird ain’t it? But now days anyone with a checkbook and some fake information can become a dealer and sell parts, not anyone can imagine and create something from what?s available, or from raw materials. Once more, (and I guess I’ve said it before) Frank Lloyd Wright was right, less is more!

We are all so deep into this consumerism shit, buy, buy, buy…… Hire this guy for something, let this guy do something else, while we lay on our respective fat asses and watch the world go by via cable TV.I like this industry, in part because it makes and has people working on their things (bikes). They give a chance to be able to add or subtract anything that we damn well please, because there’s a custom builder hiding in the garage, putting something together that makes sense to him with the money available to him. Then, more so, since I have the chance to be at many different places every year, I get the chance to see a lot of bikes that are quite impressive, and you bet, lots of them are home built.

Sure there’s a need for what I do (without shooting myself in the foot) since tools, time and experience are expensive and hard to come by. Ideas and keeping things fresh are even harder to obtain and pass onto the task at hand, but I have gotten to a point were I take the bike as it is and just try to improve, use and redo what it already has. Some of you would be amazed what can be done with a Sportser and 5 grand (sometimes even less, but frames are not cheap now days). If you really think about it, a used Sporty can be found for less than 5 grand, so the whopping total of your next chopper could be less than 10 grand. That’s 30 to 50 thousand less than any Custom factory chopper today. The problem is that people tend to get carried away and try to buy everything that they see shinning in the pages of the latest magazine, then believing that it all complements each other.

For ages chopper builders have been inventive, if not frugal with what they do. True some are downright cheap, but mostly because we see potential in what others consider junk. Let’s use an example; I have been using black components all over the chops for years, one because I have never been a fan of chrome everything and second because we live in a place that is brutal to chrome. And with all the EPA restrictions today, the old reliable chromers have gone to greener pastures. But really think about it, you can accent parts of your bike with powder coating for a lot less money than the price of one billet goodie, even paint will solve this and last, some time, even if it chips or whatever you can always re-spray cheaply.

Here at Bikernet, there’s very good examples of what you can do with some imagination and little money to make a bike look really good. We also have the blessing in disguise of the Web. There?s so many places that you can check what other people are doing and incorporate those ideas (your own way) to your next build.

The problem with all the exposure that we are getting is that the Chopper will become the item to have in the following years, the must have status symbol. But on the other hand, we will always find ways to separate ourselves from the mere followers and mass media absorbers. We have skills that the rest don’t. We have good examples on TV and magazines of what we can do, or what should be avoided at all costs. In choppers as in music, there?s nothing new under the sun. Just many ways to re-invent it. Last but not least, Choppers are built to be ridden the shit out of, not to display them in your living room for coffee talk, nor a catalog of the latest billet-for -U display.

See you next week…

Jose Caribbean Bikernet report….

ROGUE SUSPECTED OF POLICE INVOLVEMENT–Bad Cop Report states department cannot control “Rogue” cops. Pennsylvania – Philadelphia police have so seriously failed to control rogue officers that an outside agency should take charge of the disciplinary system, the department’s anticorruption czar said yesterday in a report to a federal judge.

The 50-page report filed with U.S. District Judge Stewart Dalzell, who is overseeing police changes promised in a 1996 civil-rights court settlement with the city, is one of the most damning criticisms of the department in recent history.

The report, written by former Assistant District Attorney Ellen Green-Ceisler, said: “The disciplinary system in the Philadelphia Police Department remains fundamentally ineffective, inadequate and unpredictable.”

The report cited 50 of the 1,237 cases handled by the police disciplinary system between January 2000 and May 2002. The report, which did not name the accused officers, said:Three Vice Squad officers were caught making illegal arrests, and “routinely prepared and submitted false police reports to support other illegal arrests.” Prosecutors have withdrawn charges in numerous cases handled by the three. Two of the officers were given written reprimands, one of the department’s lightest punishments. They are still assigned to the unit. The third received a two-day suspension and was transferred.

Two officers speeding down a one-way street caused a five-car accident, seriously injuring several civilians. The supervising sergeant and lieutenant tried to stage a cover-up, ordering a subordinate to falsify the police report. The officers were given reprimands.

When department investigators checked police parking lots around the city, they found 55 officers’ cars with expired inspections and registrations. There was no discipline for 39 of the officers; 11 were given reprimands, and two received one-day suspensions. Only three were ticketed and fined.

A top-ranking police commander was involved in a romantic affair with a female officer. The commander collected overtime while the couple were involved in non-police activities. No disciplinary action was taken against either.

An off-duty officer rear-ended another motorist, fled, and was caught by another officer. The off-duty officer then lied about the accident. The penalty: a one-day suspension.

Three officers from the elite Highway Patrol unit falsified arrest reports and forged signatures in an effort to win bravery and heroism commendations. Penalty: 15-day suspensions for two and a five-day suspension for the third.

“You look at the large picture, it’s very troubling,” said University of Pennsylvania law professor David Rudovsky. “We are anxious to hear from the city as to its view of the accuracy of the report.”

Bad Cop… No Doughnut!

–Rogue

DFO CONNECTION– This was pure luck that I found this info. I was listening to a “Son House” CD when I fired up the puter. Read the e-mail. In this move of mine from Charlotte to Hickory all my “Stuff” has been scattered. Driving me nuts I tell you. I found a scribbled note with this info on the back of a business card. Try www.Techlusions.com Mark Dobek is the man talk to. They are the people behind the CCI DFO.

The M/C section didn’t load for me for some reason (fucking grimlins)!! Their ph # 702-558-5142 or 877-764-3337 emails: mailto:Info@techlusions.com>Info@techlusions.com

Hard to get great gas mileage with H-D’s fuel injection. So far a CV carb modified by Trock gives the best gas mileage on a Hi Perf. H-D engine.

Son House is done, now it’s on to “the Paul Butterfield Blues band” CD (Blues Harp Smith)!!

–Pablo

SNITCHES POSED AS CLUB MEMBERS–The president of the North Beach chapter of the Hells Angels has pleaded guilty to federal drug and gun charges.

Thirty-eight year old John Beal of Dunkirk is scheduled to be sentenced March 24th in federal court in Greenbelt. He faces up to 20 years in prison for distribution of cocaine and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.

Beal was arrested last July after an undercover investigation of another motorcycle gang, the Warlocks.

Prosecutors say federal agents posed as Warlocks and went to a Hells Angels party in Calvert County. They saw semiautomatic pistols that Beal said has been strategically placed so gang members could use them immediately for protection.

Prosecutors say Beal was also seen giving cocaine to a Warlocks member and told one of the ATF agents he could provide the agent with cocaine.

–from Rogue

WILD PRODUCTS OF THE WEEK–The mean looking leather accessories we sell are made from Cane Toad hides.These critter were introduced into Queensland many decades ago to controlthe Sugar Cane Beetle but got out of control. Now they’re spreading likewild fire in plague proportins and all attempts to stop them have failed sofar.

Cane Toad skin is strong and flexible and, after tanning, it retains thesequalities but also becomes softer and more supple. It makes up intoexcellent leather goods and when backed with pigskin (which they are) isboth tough and durable.

We have leather goodies ranging from key purses to fanny packs to sun visorsall with real toads heads on them – only the eyes are not real.

These toadskin items are on http://www.roopooco.com/toad_intro.htm but theother part of the site ( www.roopooco.com ) sells such oddities as genuineKangaroo poo in paperweights, koala bear poo earrings and gilded TasmanianDevil poo paperweights. It’s very funny without being crude.

–Peter

Continued On Page 3

Hey, well it’s back to wacky biz as usual. The women are nuts, the chrome is ready and the Jack Daniels is running low. Brothers already gabbin’ about Daytona and Laughlin. The year is in full swing.

Mums the word from me. I’m hangin’ low for a couple of weeks. Deadlines loom ahead, but watch for the next Shrunken FXR tip, the CCI Goliath wrap and new fiction. Oh, I’m going to run a feature on travelin’ to Daytona. Some advice from a New Englander who rode to Bike week in the ’70s snorted angel dust and never left.

Let’s hit the new:

BRAND NEW CUSTOM CHROME CATALOG RELEASED–Custom Chrome’s new offering for 2004. The California based distributor brings you the most comprehensive product offering in the Harley-Davidson aftermarket! At over 1,200 pages and over 22,000 part numbers, their 2004 Catalog features the new RevTech 110 Motor, Hard Core II, Ares bikekits and noumious frames and forks–everything from nuts & bolts to performance products. It’s the Custom Bike Bible for the year.

ONLY $9.95 + 6.95 Shipping**

MORON–Bank Robber Arrives Early, Waits Outside Wearing Face Mask.He politely waited in line with other customers.

Solving crimes is usually a lot harder than police made it seem Friday. But they admit their job was made easier because the two bank robbers they were looking for weren’t that bright.One robbery suspect, caught at 10 a.m., didn’t want to be late. So, he waited outside the Zions Bank at 4300 W. 5400 South dressed in full robbery gear, donning a face mask over a hooded sweater, before the bank opened.

He politely waited in line with other customers, said Capt. Dave Burdett of the Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Office.

“You have to wonder what they’re thinking,” he said. “One of the customers thought he was wearing the mask because of a SARS type of deal.”

Witnesses said that after distracting the teller for a moment, the suspect, 36, reached over to grab money from the teller’s drawer. Customers who saw him trying to steal the cash, including a reporter for a local television station, tackled the unarmed robber and were soon aided by bank workers, Burdett said.

“We usually try to discourage that, but it was good work by citizens,” he said.

The second robber of the day just lacked imagination.

“He robbed the exact same bank he robbed seven years ago,” Burdett said of the 27-year-old suspect, whose heist took place at U.S. Bank at 4100 South and Redwood Road on Tuesday. The bank “went by some other name at the time, but it was the same building.”

The robber’s parole officer recognized him from a surveillance photo and turned him in. Police quickly caught him.

–from Rogue

17th ANNUAL DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL–Much more than just another custom show, the DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL has become one of the most prestigious and anticipated motorcycle events in the country. And this year’s Invitational is on track to be a real mind blower.

Thanks to world wide media exposure and an exceptionally professional and well thought out presentation, the event has grown in attendance and stature to the point that this years get together has been extended to 2 full days. That’s 2 days for enthusiasts and the merely curious to experience the finest in custom machines while rubbing elbows with world famous builders, designers and manufacturers.

Attendees will be treated to a huge, 40,000 sq ft motorcycle swap meet and an extensive vendor’s row featuring over 300 booths. DRAG SPECIALTIES, BIKER’S CHOICE, J&P CYCLE, LEGENDS AIR SUSPENSION, HOUSE OF COLOR and other industry leaders will display the latest in custom and restoration hardware, and provide on site technical assistance. Additionally, if you ever wanted to quiz industry giants like Dave Perewitz and Donnie Smith on their styling techniques, building secrets and thoughts on where the industry is headed, here’s your chance.

Need more? A huge collection of door prizes, catalogs, CDs, magazines and exclusive dealer and manufacturer presentations are just a few show features you can expect. Most importantly visitors will be treated to over 200,000 sq ft of mild to wild displays packed with the most unique and highest quality custom, high performance and antique motorcycles ever assembled under one roof. This wide variety of machines encompassing 42 classes, including a spectacular Pro Class, will be competing for both cash and trophy awards.

Hosted by Master Builder Donnie Smith and Neill Ryan of American Thunder Promotions, the DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL has become a “must attend” for domestic and international motorcycling press, private and professional builders and major manufacturers. The 17th running of this highly acclaimed event will be held Saturday and Sunday, March 27-28, 2004, in the spectacular St. Paul River Center at the Touchstone Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota. This full service, contemporary setting is just minutes for the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport and surrounded by accommodations to meet any taste.

The DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL is indeed a very special event and one you don’t want to miss. Bring your friends and family and enjoy a weekend of fine motorcycles, the latest in custom accessories, entertainment and good times. Tickets are available at the show for just $10.00 a day! For additional information including space reservation, contact American Thunder Promotions at 952-226-1180.

BIKERNET PHARMACY– A car company can move its factories to Mexico and claim it’s a free market. A toy company can outsource to a Chinese subcontractor and claim it’s a free market. A major bank can incorporate in Bermuda to avoid taxes and claim it’s a free market. We can buy HP Printers made in Mexico.

We can buy shirts made in Bangladesh. We can purchase almost anything we want from many different countries and it’s not considered un-American. It is then referred to as a global economy. BUT, heaven help the elderly who dare to buy their prescription drugs from a Canadian (Or Mexican) pharmacy. That’s called un-American! And you think the pharmaceutical companies don’t have a powerful lobby?

Think again!

Old cartoon from Bob T.

BIKERNET FARMING ADVICE–One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into an old well. The animal criedpiteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to becovered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They allgrabbed shovels and began to shovel dirt into the well.

Soon, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down. A few shovelloads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He wasastonished at what he saw.

With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doingsomething amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up!

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of theanimal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edgeof the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick togetting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Eachof our troubles is a stepping-stone. We can get out of the deepestwells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take astep up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred – Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries – Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less

The donkey later came back and kicked the shit out of the farmer whohad tried to bury him. The gash from the kick got infected, and the farmereventually died in agony from blood poisoning.

When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass,it always comes back to get you!

–from Geno, The HORSE

THUNDER MOUNTAIN H-D CHOPPERS–It sounds like the Motor Company is finally going into the Custom Chopper Business. I went to the official unvailing of the Thunder Mountain/Harley Davidson Choppers last week.

Pretty slick bikes, but I am questioning the price-$35,900.00 some models even include Jesse James fenders…

THE BIKER READING MAN–I read Orwell last summer and really enjoyed it. As you are a writer I assume you must be a reader too, though if you’re like me it’s hard to find enough time to read everything you would like to. I am writing to recommend the book “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman to you. It has a lot in common with your book and I think you might enjoy it.

While “American Gods” has strong writing, and a theme that bears resemblance to Orwell, it doesn’t have anything to do with motorcycles or the biker life.

I’ve noticed that you have used some of my submissions and the accompanying quotes in Bikernet.com and I just wanted to say how honored I am. I would like to offer to send you a few quotes each week if you are interested.

I’ll try to keep your audience in mind but as a 55 year old blue collar, United Autoworker and concerned American I find a lot of my biking friends are being mislead as to the motives of the conservative agenda. Union Shops, good wages, paid overtime, healthcare, 30 and out retirement pensions, freedom to associate with whomever a person wants and American jobs these are things that mean a lot to me.

I don’t give a flying fuck what the pansy ass, ultra-religious, frat boys do to each other, but it’s high time someone spoke up for the working class values, that made a man a man and pointed out the fucking the working stiff is getting today.

–Nick

We look forward to them. I too consider Bikernet a site for the working man. –Bandit

DAYTONA BEACH BIKE WEEK IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER–Starts February 27th 2004 and runs To March 7th. Time to start thinking about getting ready for it. As usual I will keep you supplied with info as best I can. Watch for a “Survive Bike Week Report” on Bikernet in the next week.

–Rogue

ROGUE’S BAD COP INVESTIGATION– Top Cop FIRED South Carolina – Police Chief T. “Billy” Haynie was fired over the weekend, Calhoun Falls Mayor Johnnie Waller announced Monday.

The termination of the 30-year police veteran came less than a week after the State Law Enforcement Division released details of its investigation into whether the 66-year-old chief sexually assaulted Frances Lewis, a 68-year-old police officer?s widow, in October 2002.

SLED?s evidence included sworn statements by Town Administrator Deborah Parks claiming she had been continually harassed by the chief and a statement from town resident Patricia Wells, alleging the chief tried to grope her when she was working as an assistant manager at a convenience store.

Bad Cop… No Doughnut!

–Rogue

A MILD MANNERED MAN– A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so hewent to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem,and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.

The man stormedinto the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face,he said, “From now on, I want you to know that ‘I’ am the man of this house,and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, andwhen I’m finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward.Then, after dinner, you’re going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And,when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb myhair?”

“The fucking funeral director,” said his wife

–from Rev CarlR

ROGUE BACKS OFF COPS–Just so the Cops don?t think I am picking on them, with the Bad Cop reports, here are some Dumb Crook items:

Virginia Beach:A bank robber in got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. “He was seen hopping and jumping around,” said police spokesman Mike Carey, “with an explosion taking place inside his pants.” Police have the man’s charred trousers in custody.

Go Ahead… Take It!:Mrs. Hollis Sharpe was walking her poodle, one night on a Los Angeles street when she was attacked by a mugger, shoved to the ground, and forced to hand over her purse. No doubt congratulating himself on his easy mugging, the mugger ran off. Unfortunately for the mugger, inside Mrs. Hollis Sharpe’s purse was just one item: a plastic bag she had just finished using to scoop up after her poodle.

Jacksonville, Florida:A Jacksonville, Florida robber couldn’t quite get it together when it came to disguising himself. He stuck up a grocery store, wearing a paper bag with cut-out eyeholes over his head. But during the attempted stickup, the bag shifted and the eyeholes were no longer over his eyes, so he couldn’t see a thing. To make matters worse, a few seconds later the bag split open, completely revealing his face to the sales clerk. She immediately recognized him as a regular customer – and called the cops when he left.

New Guns For Police To Battle Criminals:Police in the Vietnamese capital have a new gun in their holsters and it’s got a colourful bang. They’ve armed themselves with paintball guns to brand and track criminals and illegal motorbike racers. The guns, introduced Monday, will be used to pelt thieves and racers with red, yellow and green dyes, said Tran Quoc Hung, administrative head of Hanoi’s police. The guns have a range of 10 metres and will help police to track fast-moving suspects on motorcycles who could otherwise dart unnoticed into a sea of other bikes. Robbery is not a major problem in Hanoi, but street racing on motorbikes is becoming more common.

Thanks For The “Tip”A man broke into a jewelry store in the middle of the night. Once inside he broke the glass case to extract the jewelry — so excited and anxious to get his hands on the diamonds in the case he did not notice, that when he broke the glass, with his hand, he cut the tip end of one of his fingers off. When police arrived, they merely fished the top portion of the finger out, printed it, and ran a match program. The man was arrested within a few hours of his crime.

One Dumb Crook:A fellow robbed a supermarket of about $5000. The local newspaper ran the story, but with the amount given as $7000. The thief called the newspaper to complain about the inaccuracy and to suggest that maybe the store manager ripped off the extra $2000 and was unjustly blaming the thief. The people at the newspaper kept him busy on the phone giving his version of the story while the police traced the call to a phone booth and arrived to arrest him while he was still talking to the newspaper!

–from Rogue

Continued On Page 2

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Once the engine was back in place, the bolts were placed and the tape was removed.

Then it was on to the area where the transmission was to be placed.

 

The transmission plate from Custom Chrome and the rear fender mounts were put into place and bolted down.

 

The transmission was then put in place but not bolted down.

 

You’ll notice at this point that the secondary pulley is already on the transmission’s output shaft and the shifter lever is in place. Note: You want the shift lever to be straight up and down when bolted in place. The one in the photo required some adjusting to make this correct.

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