THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists(A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the LawOffices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at 1-(800) ON-A-BIKE orvisit us on our website at

NCOM COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWSCompiled and Edited By BILL BISH, National Coalition of Motorcyclists

FEDS PROPOSE NEW MOTORCYCLE EMISSIONS STANDARDS No more air-cooled engines? No morecarburetors? Catalytic converters? By 2010, motorcycle tailpipe emissions must beslashed by over 80%, making it necessary for manufacturers to use fuel injection on theintake and catalytic converters on the exhaust in order to comply with tough new federalregulations, as well as altering cam timing and making other engine modifications,including liquid cooling.

The federal Environmental Protection Agency, which has already succeeded in curbingemissions for the first time from off-road motorcycles, ATV’s, snowmobiles anddiesel-powered boats to help reduce pollution, is now turning their attention to streetmotorcycles, and new bike buyers in future decades will likely see a big difference indesign, styling and price.

The EPA released its proposed rule on motorcycle emissions on July 26, 2002, andfollowing a brief public comment period intends to implement the California-stylecutbacks in a two-phase plan beginning in 2006.

Stricter new limits will be established for hydrocarbons and nitrogen oxides emitted bythe engines, requiring motorcycles over 280cc to reduce emissions from a currentlyallowable 5 grams of Hydrocarbons per kilometer to 1.4 grams/km by 2006 and .8 grams by2010, achieving more than an 80% reduction in less than a decade. Nitrogen oxides, whichare unregulated at this time, must also be reduced to 1.4 grams/km in 2006 and .8grams/km by 2010.

Smaller cc motorcycles must also meet stringent new standards, ultimately reducing HC andNOx emissions to1.0 grams/km by 2010.

The proposed standards for new motorcycles will not affect their performance, says theEPA, adding that the Agency’s proposal does not in any way change the existing law thatmakes it illegal to modify the emission control devices causing the emission systems toexceed applicable standards. Motorcycle owners may make cosmetic changes such as thecolor and chrome.

Public hearings on this proposal will be held by the EPA on September 17, in Ypsilanti,MI, with the public comment period ending November 8, 2002, after which the finalregulations will be issued. For more information on the proposed rule, how to submitcomments and the public hearings, visit: http://www.epa.gov/otaq/roadbike.htm andhttp://www.epa.gov/otaq/recveh.htm.

The National Coalition of Motorcyclists encourages all concerned riders andmotorcyclists? rights organizations to make their feelings known to the EPA and ourelected officials on this important issue which will affect the future of motorcycling aswe know it.

HANDLEBAR HEIGHT REPEAL CLEARS PENNSYLVANIA HOUSE House Bill 1553 to repeal heightrestrictions on motorcycle handlebars in Pennsylvania, passed unanimously through theHouse of Representatives and is expected to see movement in September when the Senatereconvenes, reports Rocky Gambale on behalf of Pennsylvania’s Confederation of Clubs.

“This Bill passed the House 196-0 on June 12th, and has to date no opposition in theSenate,” according to Rocky-G, adding, “I cannot stress enough that we also thankBikePac, Charles Umbenhauer and ABATE of Pennsylvania for their assistance with thislegislation, their help has been invaluable.”

Earlier this year, both New Hampshire and Minnesota modified their motorcycle handlebarheight requirements. Minnesota eliminated the handlebar height limit altogether, whileNew Hampshire amended their “15 inches higher than the seat” maximum height limit with a”no more than shoulder height when seated” legal limit.

MASSACHUSETTS MOTORCYCLISTS DEMAND EQUITIBLE INSURANCE The MMA of Massachusetts hasrequested to meet with the Division of Insurance to discuss discriminatory price andcoverage practices, and seeking equitable changes in insurance practices for more than125,000 registered motorcycles in the Commonwealth.

“We’re tired of not having the same coverage availability for our motorcycles as we havefor our cars and trucks,” said Jimi Ricci, Chairman of the Massachusetts MotorcycleAssociation (MMA), and a member of the NCOM Board of Directors.

“It’s unfair,” said Betsy Lister, MMA Safety & Education Director who has been anindependent insurance agent over 28 years and owns Lister Insurance Agency, “that as’motor vehicles,’ motorcycles don’t have the same options as other vehicles when it comesto coverages and limits.”

She cites that motorcycles are excluded from “stated value” coverage, when the marketvalue of a custom or specially modified motorcycle’s value exceeds it “book value”; no”multi-vehicle” discounts; no “anti-theft” discounts; and only $5,000 in coverage can bepurchased in “optional” medical payments coverage by riders, despite their ability to paythe increased premiums. Premium income and loss data over the past 3 seasons is”unfairly disproportionate,” she says.

MMA Legislative Director Paul Cote, a former insurance claims examiner and currently alegal consultant on accident reconstruction and claim handling, sent a letter to Divisionof Insurance Commissioner Julianne Bowler “requesting a meeting with policy-makers withinthe Division to address these inequities” that the MMA has uncovered.

“Nationwide, more than 80% of the motor vehicle/motorcycle accidents are the motorvehicle operator’s fault,” says Cote, “yet we suffer due to their negligence and ourlimited coverage availability. We want to address that, and our rates with theCommissioner.”

“I’m happy we have the talent, experience and energy of Betsy and Paul on our MMA Boardto address these issues professionally,” said Ricci. “We believe a lot of good will comeout of this for those who ride motorcycles in the Commonwealth.”

ALLSTATE LOSES —– MOTORCYCLISTS WIN! An attempt by Allstate Insurance to eliminatemotorcyclists from medical payment coverage went down in defeat in the case of a youngpassenger on a bike in Virginia, thanks to the efforts of Virginia Aid to InjuredMotorcyclists (A.I.M.) Attorney J. Thomas (Tom) McGrath.

Jennifer L., a teenager living with her grandmother, went for a ride on a motorcycleowned by a friend. The driver crashed the bike and Jennifer was injured. Hergrandmother had a policy of insurance on her car with Allstate Insurance Company, and foran extra premium she purchased a $1,000.00 medical payment benefit which would reimburseany resident relative of the grandmother’s household up to $1,000.00 for injuriessustained in an accident.

The law in Virginia requires an insurance company that sells bodily injury liabilityinsurance to also offer medical payment insurance provided it covers the named insuredand any resident relative of the named insured while in or upon, entering or alightingfrom or through being struck by a motor vehicle?

“Allstate sold the coverage to Jennifer’s grandmother but had changed the language init’s policy to limit the coverage to injuries sustained while in or upon a four wheelvehicle,” said attorney McGrath. “This attempt to cut motorcyclists out of coverage ispart of what I see as an ongoing struggle between us and the insurance industry. Theykeep trying to take away our freedom to ride by trying in every way to deny us coverage.”

Suit was filed in the Circuit Court of The City of Richmond based on the statutorylanguage and the fact that the definition of “motor vehicle” in Virginia includesmotorcycles. In addition to the $1,000.00 that we claimed was owed to Jennifer L., weasked for double the damages plus attorney fees and court costs.

McGrath argued, and the Court agreed, that Allstate’s effort to change it’s policy wasreally an attempt to change the Virginia statutory law. “The Court declared Allstate’sdefinition void and we received a check in the amount of $6,345.00,” said McGrath. “Notbad for a $1,000.00 claim.”

If you have medical payment benefits on any of your policies check the language and ifyou find that it is similar to Allstate’s, in that it defines a motor vehicle as anautomobile or vehicle having four wheels, please let AIM know.

“Remember this,” McGrath admonishes, “companies that write insurance are always seekingways to limit what they have to cover. Only we can protect our rights.”

POLITICS AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MECHANICS With another election cycle coming upon us,we’d like to share with you the following article by Marcia Mercer written June 25 forthe Media General News Service, regarding the political appeal of motorcycles:

WASHINGTON — In the world of presidential politics, it was hot news. John Kerry, theDemocratic senator from Massachusetts, had decided to make a serious bid for the WhiteHouse.

No, he didn’t announce his candidacy. Officially, Kerry was still testing the waters.

But to political observers, Kerry had sent a clear sign of his intentions. He got rid ofhis Italian-made Ducati motorcycle a few weeks ago in favor of a shiny blackHarley-Davidson.

The switch wasn’t just a matter of what Kerry is riding. It said Kerry is running.

In America, it’s not enough to dash around the country, raising money, making eyecontact, acting humble and talking about your vision. Lots of people do that.

To show you’re a real presidential contender, you need to do something that shouts, “I’ma regular guy.”

It’s a curiosity of American politics that presidential candidates have to prove they’reordinary men, the kind of guy other guys enjoy hanging out with.

Kerry may be super-smart and super-rich, a fellow with four houses and a chestful ofcombat medals. Voters may have elected him to the Senate three times. But he has aproblem: People see him as aloof, arrogant and stiff. (Shades of Al Gore?)

So, Kerry works at presenting himself as a man’s man. He tells people he fliesairplanes. Plays ice hockey. Windsurfs. And he hopped on a Harley.

A man with three purple hearts shouldn’t have to prove anything. But that’s a topic foranother day.

“It’s an American icon,” said a Harley-Davidson spokesman. Sales of the American-madebikes are up 21 percent post-Sept. 11.

At least Kerry didn’t send his wife, Teresa Heinz, out on a chopper. In 1996, GOPcandidate Bob Dole’s wife Elizabeth rode onto the Tonight Show stage on the back of aHarley, behind Jay Leno. The very ladylike Dole wore jeans, motorcycle boots and a blackleather jacket with chains.

The motorcycle effect was dramatic in Ames, Iowa, in August 1999, when the Republicanssponsored a presidential straw poll, a symbolic test of popularity in the state with thefirst presidential caucuses.

At first, it looked as if the governor of Texas might skip the event. But no. The signthat the man with the famous pedigree had decided to be a serious presidential contendercame when he rounded up a couple hundred bikers.

Led by the unlikeliest of Republicans – Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell of Colorado, withhis ponytail and black leather jacket with chains – the bikers swooped in off the prairieand revved their Harleys for George W. Bush in the parking lot outside the arena. Takethat, Gary Bauer.

George Bush, the elder – senator’s son, prep school, Yale – never could shake theperception that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. George Bush, the younger -president’s son, prep school, Yale – wasn’t going to let that happen to him.

Bush didn’t actually straddle a motorcycle that day, but that was OK. He was one ofthem. He won the straw poll.

A few months after that, Elizabeth Dole, a presidential candidate in her own right, rodeon the back of a Harley to a barbecue in Salem, N.H.

Later in the 2000 campaign, Democratic vice presidential candidate Joe Lieberman, visitedthe Harley-Davidson factory in Kansas City. Lieberman donned a helmet and hopped on theback of a Harley. The candidate joked that putting on the helmet was “another act ofcourage.”

A few weeks before Election Day 2000, Al Gore went on the Queen Latifah Show and talkedabout how much he and Tipper had loved riding motorcycles in their youth.

In 2002, when it comes to projecting an image of raw, American manliness with the help ofa motorcycle, John Kerry has an edge. He likes riding bareheaded, and freedom-loving NewHampshire, site of the first presidential primary, has spurned mandatory helmet laws.

Brace yourself for a barrage of pictures showing regular guy Kerry astride his blackHarley, hair blowing in the wind.

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH: Children Blackmail Parents With Landmine Suicide Threats Authorities in India say children are using landmines to blackmail their parents. Armypersonnel patrolling India’s border with Pakistan claim to have averted eight suicideattempts in the last month. The Dainik Ujala newspaper reports a teenager who wasrescued after crossing into mined territory claimed he was trying to kill himself becausehis parents refused to buy him a motorbike. Harnam Singh, a farmer from the bordervillage of Kahangarh, said: “The mines have become a very effective tool for blackmail.Children know they can extract anything from their parents if they threaten to walk intothe danger area.”

A DEATH IN THE FAMILY “Little Jimmy” Rouse, Business Manager for the Modified MotorcycleAssociation (MMA) of California and member of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists(NCOM) Board of Directors, died on Friday, July 19, 2002, in Sacramento of complicationsfrom lymphatic cancer.

“Lil’ Jimmy was one of the founding fathers of the MMA of California back in 1972 and hasbeen involved ever since,” said “Sleepy,” Chairman of the MMA Board of Directors. “Lil’Jimmy helped fight for motorcyclists alongside Ron Roloff, Gorilla, Whitey, and Sonny.

Lil’ Jimmy was involved to the very end, even reviewing and approving the newsletter thenight before. Lil’ Jimmy was always there for all motorcyclists and will be missedbeyond description.”

Our sympathies go out to the MMA and to the family and friends of “Little Jimmy” Rouse, apioneer in the motorcyclists rights movement and a true freedom fighter.

QUOTABLE QUOTE: “If we don’t all hang together, then we’ll all damn sure hangseparately, by the straps of our own helmets.””LITTLE JIMMY” ROUSE, MMA of California

–BILL BISH

NO CELL PHONES FOR YOUBy Elisa Batista,3:40 p.m. Aug. 15, 2002 PDT.New York was the first major city in the United States to prohibit driving while talking on a cell phone. Now a city councilman wants cell phones banned in public places throughout the city, including libraries, movie theaters and museums.

In a move lambasted by the cellular phone industry, Councilman Philip Reed introduced legislation that prohibits the use of cell phones in “any place to which the public is invited or permitted and where members of the public assemble to witness cultural, recreational or educational activities.”

While the bill makes an exception for emergency calls, it punishes anyone who infringes on the rule with a $50 fine.”New Yorkers are sick and tired of people on their cell phones in the middle of a play or a movie,” Reed said. “It’s distracting, it’s annoying, and as a public nuisance, it should be against the law.”

While members of the cell-phone industry discourage its customers from using a mobile phone in, for example, the movie theater, it is vehemently against such legislation for safety reasons.

“We’re going to have policemen come into a theater and take the phone away from a mother speaking with her child’s babysitter?” asked Kim Kuo, spokeswoman for the Cellular Telecommunications and Internet Association. “That’s ridiculous.”

Kuo said that educating the public on cell-phone etiquette was needed, but “it’s silly trying to legislate common sense.”

Reed, however, said that movie theaters and other public places are already asking patrons to shut off their cell phones to no avail.

“Apparently, the requests of theater management and the disapproval of the rest of the audience is not enough for some people to quit their gabbing,” Reed said. “You have to legislate so they’ll put it on vibrate.”

The council will vote on Reed’s bill next week.

ABC, BIKERS AND PUBLIC BURDEN ABC News is airing a segment tonight that, as usual, attempts to paint the motorcycle community as a “Burden on Society.” The AMA, MRF and others have begun posting to the message board at Nightline their views on this subject. The links are posted below.?I have also tossed in my nickle’s worth of opinion. You can read it at this linkhttp://boards.abcnews.go.com/cgi/abcnews/request.dll?MESSAGE&room=WorldNewsTonight&id=29044

I urge each of you that care about personal freedom to post your views on ABC’s message board. This may be a feeble attempt to bolster ratings and stir up controversary, (because they know motorcyclists will vehemently respond) but if it is, then it is. There will be plenty of uninformed, me-too tv watchers who think motorcyclists are too stupid to think for themselves and therefore need “protection.” The “I’m doing this for your own good” crowd never sleeps nor takes a day off.

–Scott Cochran, Editor
Dixie Rider Motorcycle News

Continued From Page 1

SPEAKING OF STURGIS–THE DEAL OF THE WEEK–Is a 1982 unmolested Sturgis. Low miles -Mikuni & Crane Cam -Sweet bike.Extra black ya’all.Asking $8800.

Geno
The Horse BC
DRAGPIPES1@aol.com

BIKERNET TATTOO OF THE WEEK—Hey wait a minute! That girl?s wearing a pink thong from Joker Machine Apparel! Damn, not only does she have good taste in tats, she also knows what hot in fashion.

Check out Jokers new line of apparel and you?re sure to find something that will make you as tasteful as her!

BIKERNET WARTIME ADVICE–An elderly Italian man named Vince, asked the local priest to hear hisconfession:”Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and askedme to hide her from the Germans.I hid her in my attic.”

The priest replied, “That was a wonderful thing you did and you have no needto confess.”

“It’s worse, Father. I was weak and told her that she must repay me withher sexual favors.”

“You were both in great danger and would have suffered terribly if theGermans had found her. God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the goodand evil and judge you kindly. You are forgiven.”

“Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my mind. I just have one morequestion.”

“And what is that, my son?” asked the priest.

The old man replied, “Should I tell her that the war is over?”

BIKERNET BECOMES CHROME SPECIALTIES DEALER–If you don’t have a dealer nearby you can purchase anything from the CSI catalog directly through Bikernet with a credit card. If you need advice or for us to chase down your order just e-mail me at Bandit@bikernet.com.If we can be of service don’t hesitate or click on any of the CSI banners around the site.

Click here to start shopping

OLD MAIDS NEED LOVIN’ TOO–An old maid was held up in a dark alley. She explained she had no money, but the robber insisted that it must be in her bra, or in her panties and started feeling around.

“I told you I haven’t got any money,” the spinster said, “but if youkeep doing that, I’ll write you a check.”

BIKERNET CLASSIFIEDSDid you know that you could buy and sell on Bikernet? Well you can, along with trying to find that special someone. Our classifieds are free so you should check it out. You’ll never know what you might find in there.

Personals
Looking for Woman at Spoke who…
Looking for the woman at the Spoke in Sturgis who was massaging my chest(and nipples)so nicely….

IN SEARCH OF HOME MADE HELMET–I’m looking for some info and maybe you’ll remember this……. A few years back I remember Easyrider Magazine had an article on a homemade helmet that would pass FVMS-218 specs.The helmet was made from a bucket or something.

Does anyone out therehave a link to the instructions on this? The Confederation of Clubs herehas asked me to see if I can find this info. Not positive what they areup to with it, but I have a good guess, and I’d like to see them try.

Any info would be appreciated.

Hawk
ICQ#34668186
AOL SoLRHawk
Hawk

LOOKING FOR SMALL TIME BUILDERS–killer site!! How about a little more coverage on the small time builders!!

Well .. thoughT you guys might think this was funny and post it on yourweekly news!! keep up the good work!!

There’s home built bikes like Robs, and our own constantly makin’ the news.

FOUR SECRETS TO PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS– 1. It is important to find a woman WHO cooks and cleans.

2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.

3. It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex.

4. It is important that these three women never meet

–from Ray

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GOOD FIST FIGHT–Charlotte Observer,Aug. 13, 2002.

Iron Station, NC- A man shot Saturday night by his brother in a dispute over whose motorcycle is faster, was listed in stable condition Monday.Curtis Wilson, 35, was shot once in the chest by his brother Donald Wilson, 29, said Det. Lee Keller of the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office. Curtis has declined to press charges against his brother, Keller said. No other charges have been filed.

“Basically, what it is, is they’re out there, being men, shooting off at the mouth, saying my bike is better than yours,” Keller said. “With the alcohol involved, the male testosterone got out of hand.”

–from Crazyhorse

Customs dogs on duty.

BRITISH TOURISTS PISSED OFF– LONDON – British tourists returning from Florida are expressing outrage over an American airport security scanner that shows the naked bodies of travelers as clearly as a life drawing.

The machine is on trial at Orlando Airport in Florida as part of tighter security across the United States after September 11. A total of 600,000 British tourists will have used the airport during the summer holidays.

Passengers are offered the option of passing through the Rapiscan Secure 1000 to save time in boarding their homebound aircraft. Although they believe that security staff will see only a relatively hazy outline of their bodies, pictures released on an American cable television channel show that the images are far more explicit.

Footage obtained by MSNBC show the front and rear views of a man who had been through the scanner. He was naked except for a thin belt at his waist, with his genitalia and buttocks clearly defined.

–from Rogue

MOTORCYCLE ESCORT REQUESTED– I am passing along a request I have received from ABATE of Georgia. If you’re an officer in your State’s MRO and your MRO is supporting a candidate for Governor in the upcoming November election, Dixie Rider wants to help. Send us a note and we’ll help spread the word!I know your vote counts. Do you?

–Scott Cochran, Editor
Dixie Rider Motorcycle News

We have received a request from the Sonny Perdue campaign for a motorcycleescort this Saturday, August 17, 2002. Sonny will be riding in an RV, andwill have along press from the AJC as well as the Associated Press. Pleasefind below the directions and route and stops. Even if you can’t ride allday, you can go from one stop to another, and if you can’t ride, you canshow up at any of the stops along the way. Sonny will appreciate any andall support on this. Let’s make a great showing!

Kim Adams
Office Manager
ABATE of Georgia Inc.

1928 SHOVELHEAD GOES TO PAINT–We’ve been working on this project with Rick Fairless and his Dallas Easyriders Bike shop for several years. You’ll see as the bike makes the final steps towards completion.

BIG RED MACHINES LIVE ON–Since my arrest in 1999, some of you have asked what’s happening with Big Red Machine Motorcycles. As you will see when you read this article, O.C. has continued building the company, and has teamed up with Panzer of Colorado to manufacture a fine motorcycle. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Big Red Machine Motorcycle Company, I’ll give you a little history on it.

The Orange County Hells Angels founded the Big Red Machine Motorcycle Company in early 1998. We already sold a line of Big Red Machine support products prior to 1998 that included t-shirts, hats, run pins, and H.A. calendars. We wanted to expand our business into motorcycles, but we needed to build manufactured motorcycles (with E.P.A. and C.A.R.B. certifications), not custom built motorcycles. By going this route our motorcycles are easily financed and insured. Manufactured bikes also hold higher resale values, versus custom-built motorcycles. These motorcycles are of a superior fit and finish, using only the highest quality parts available.

The standard rigid frame B.R.M. has a 113-inch S&S motor linked to a state of the art 6-speed transmission. With 110 horsepower and 115 ft. lbs. of torque, these beasts haul ass.To hook-up all this power to the pavement, each bike is equipped with a mean 8-1/2-inch wide, 18-inch billet rear wheel, covered with a 240/50-18-inch Metzler tire.The front wheel is a 60 spoke-21-inch, skinned with a Metzler 90/90 tire, also.Up front an inverted Spyke Front End connects the wheel to the frame.The Kraft Tech Wide-Drive Frame has a nice fat fender hugging the rear wheel.With 4.2 gallons of gas in the one-piece gas tank, you’ll be putting down a lot of miles between gas stations, no problem.Every B.R.M. is painted bright red with the B.R.M. logo on the gas tank. These bikes really stand out in a crowd.

For more information on B.R.M. motorcycles call Erik at; 909-223-6345.To see?the Big Red Machine Motorcycle and download the brochure?follow this link??http://www.panzerusa.com/BRM.html

–Rusty HAMC-BHC

GRANDMASTER COMES TO BANDIT’S DOJO–From time to time the IMB Academy takes pride in presenting prominent, internationally known martial artists from around the globe to share, teach, and demonstrate their martial art skills to us.

We are proud to announce that on Sept. 21, from 9 AM to 4 PM, the legendary Cacoy Canete of Cebu, Philippines will be conducting a six (6) hour hands-on workshop at the IMB Academy. ?The 83-year-old Grandmaster’s list of achievements would be far too numerous to list, so here are just a few: ??

o Eskrima training since age 7 under older brother “Momoy” ??
o Amateur boxer, Cebu City 1937/39 ??
o Wrestler, Philippine National Wrestling Association 1957 ??
o Black Belts: Shorin Karate 1969, Aikido 1984, Kodokan 1985 ??
o Presidential Champion Trophy, 1st National Masters Open, 3/24/79 ??
o Champion, 1st National Arnis Invitational, August 19, 1979 ??
o Ret. Lieutenant, Military Police, Philippine Army ??
o Ret. Captain, Reserve Armed Forces of the Philippines ??
o Cebu Sports Hall of Fame inductee, Philippines 1997 ??
o Black Belt Hall of Fame inductee, Best Weapon Instructor 1999 ??
o Filipino Martial Arts Hall of Fame inductee, Life Time Achievement 2002

This seminar will cover hands-on training on the advance Doce Pares olisi (rattan), forms for exercise, and short rattan (dagger) for self-defense. ?Bring your gym clothes, eskrima equipment and learn from a living legend for self-defense and martial arts’ sport. ?No Video, tape recording, and no spectors

Sept. 21, Saturday, 9am to 4pm, 6 hrs @ $85.00$75.00/before 9/20, $65.00/Before 8/30/02,please make money order or cashier checks out to Ciriaco Canete

THE WOMAN’S HUSBAND–? A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for severalmonths, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? Youhave been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you werethere to support me.When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by myside.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health startedfailing, you were still by my side…You know what?’

“What dear?” she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill withwarmth.

“I think you’re bad luck, why don’t you fuck off.”

END OF SUMMER CANTINA DEAL–Join the cantina in the month of August and get the babes, the games, the soap opera and the books for a year for only $15.00. That’s like 1.25 a month. You can’t beat it and you’re supporting the content growth of Bikernet.com.

Oh, and one more thing. Check the Digital Discovery area of the Cantina and find the entire brochure for the H-D sidecar mentioned above. If you are the first to tell me the year of the bike on the brochure, we’ll send you a signed copy of Sam Chopper Orwell. Enjoy.

WOMEN BEHIND THE WHEEL– A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a highway nearMarseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her passenger andkilling herself. As a commonplace road accident, this would not havequalified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for the fact that thedriver’s attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring, which hadstarted urgently beeping for food as she drove along. In an attempt to pressthe correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi’s life, the woman lost her own.

THE NEWS IS TOAST–Life is a whirlwind as long as your sticking your neck out. The risk is that you’re noggin’ gets caught in a sling from time to time. On the otherhand you don’t find new opportunities hiding behind a desk. You don’t find a new girl watchin’ TV every night. So what the hell am I saying? I don’t know, except that there’s never a dull moment around here.

With Sturgis behind us, it’s time to relax for 15 minutes, then head to the garage to turn a wrench on the Amazing Shrunken FXR.Ride Forever–Bandit.

Just returned from a 900 mile round trip to deliver my ’31 VL to the auction block in Pebble Beach. Keep your fingers crossed that there’s a home run in my future. Well Sturgis is behind us and I’ll let the reports from Jose, Ozark Ed, TBear and CrazyHorse, who didn’t go, paint a picture of another Rally in the Badlands. Let’s get to the news and a taste of what’s to come:

AMAZING SHRUNKEN FXR PROJECT CONTINUES–Watch for another report as we install the modified Cyril Huze oil bag in the Kenny Boyce frame. Everything must be modified to fit. Soon we’ll begin on the one-off terrible, home made exhaust system. Let’s see how bad we screw up this project.

Aside from all our blunders, the bike is looking good.

ANDY ROONEY ON FABRIC SOFTNER– My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. ThenI noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under theirbreath, “Married!” and walking away.

Fabric Softeners are how our wives marktheirterritory. We can take off the ring, but it’s hard to get that Aprilfreshscent out of your clothes.–from Nuttboy

Photo from TBear

FIRST REPORT-OZARK ED ON STURGIS 2002– DAY ONE, TUESDAY: we met at a commuter parking lot on the interstate on Tuesday morning at 6:00 a.m. I had never met Mark, the crop duster pilot or Chuckie, the farmer, before. They are buddies of Tiny. I had met bartender John and Jimmy the business owner, and we had never had any conflict before so I was positive about the trip. We all said our hellos and hit the road. John didn’t ride. He had his bike in a van and follwed us. I was glad to have the truck in case I had trouble. I was going to put my bike in the van and ride John’s bike.

We agreed to go about 120 miles and then do a milage check so we could see what kind of range we had. We went on I-40 and stopped for gas and breakfast. While we were eating, the bottom fell out and the rain poured. We ran outside and covered our stuff in trash bags and waited for about 30 minutes. It did not let up so we put on the rain gear and treked on. The rain lasted about 50 miles, then it cleared off and got hot. We made it about 650 miles to liberal, Kansas. We got a room at a motel and went to eat. As we were standing in the parking lot drinking beer, Chuckie said hey there’s a titty bar across the street. We went there and the dancer, that’s right, dancer, was not that cute. She did a set of two songs then said, “20 bucks or no more dancing.” We all told her she would have to be naked and ramming large dildos up her ass to get 20 bucks from us– how about that? The first night on the road and I’m already in trouble with the bouncer. Damn.

Anyway we went back to the motel and drank a whole bunch of beer and got to know the other guys. Chuckie is a cock hound like you have never been around. He has tunnel vision, no pun intended. Mark is a quiet guy who doesn’t party. He and Tiny were buddies growing up and they still hang around each other some. Bartender John is a high drama guy. I got stuck rooming with him as I was the new guy to the bunch. Chuckie and Jimmie were childhood friends and they roomed together.

DAY TWO, WEDNESDAY: We got up at about 9 am and knew we only had about 400 miles to go that day. We rode across Kansas and stopped at most every beer joint in the state. That’s only about five. We kept passing these big old corrals of cows that had a stench that you could smell, no shit, for 5 miles on each side of it. We stopped in Oakley, Kansas and were eating and drinking. I asked our waitress what the deal is? She said it’s a feeder lot, and they had been raised that the feeder lot smells like money. we heard that about fifty thousand times as we made our way across Kansas and Nebraska. we stopped in Thedford, Nebraska for the night. At the motel there was a restaurant and club. we went there and we were the only customers. Chuckie was trying to score off of the waitress. Any port in a storm, no luck though.

DAY THREE, THURSDAY: We were only about 200 miles from Interior, South dakota, where we had a room for the night. Yhis is at the base of the Badlands. We got there about noon and checked in to a dump of a motel. We rode through the Badlands all day and went back to the motel. Interior is a very small town but has a few bars. We met a wild ass girl who was wearing only a bra. She was too nasty even for Chuckie. We went to a bar, and I sat out in the parking lot with 3 Lokota Indian girls and got so drunk. we talked all night about what it’s like growing up on a reservation. It just seals in my mind that there ain’t nothing better than being a southern white man.

DAY FOUR, FRIDAY: we went to Spearfish and checked in at the dorm of the college. I didn’t have a room and they said no crashing on the floor. It seemed for a while that I was not going to have a place to stay, but after the guys got checked in, we went to Sturgis and drank at the Broken Spoke till late. When we got back, I got friendly with the girls who check you in and out. I showed them a picture of my girl and whined about how I missed her. They said I was the sweetest man on earth, and could they do anything to help. I told them no but thanks. Anyway, every time I came in to the building they would just wave and say hey, so I was golden.

DAY FIVE, SATURDAY: big day of riding. went all over. You know the places. Hit every bar along the way.

DAY FIVE, SUNDAY: party day. went to the Holiday inn in spearfish to see the Hamsters’ bikes. I was surprised that Jerry’s bike was just average in that pack. They were incredible bikes. I drank some beer with Jerry for a while and they went to their banquet.

DAY SIX: MONDAY: took the farm boys out to see naked parade at Glencoe. I think they still haven’t gotten over that.

DAY SEVEN TUESDAY: party day.

DAY EIGHT WEDNESDAY: left for home. made it 500 miles to McCook Nebraska.

DAY NINE, THURSDAY: made it to Ft. Smith, Arkansas. Nothing like home. One last day of party. Home on friday.

–Ozark Ed

–photo from TBear

STRUGIS MUD–Did you hear about the mudslide that hit Donny Smith’s place is Deadwood? Click was there and saw the bikes buried in mud. I guess one bike got wrecked by a tree.

Could that have been Danny Gray’s place?

–Crazyhorse

STURGIS, HOT OF THE PRESS–TBear is the first to flash us a full-on Sturgis Report. It will be posted with shots today. He will follow up with reports on more segments for the wild rally as he sobers up. He interviewed Jesse Ventura and Sonny Barger in his extensive roamings of the Badlands. Don’t miss it.

BIKERNET ON POLICE RELATIONS–Do not say to a cop,” I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be apolice officer.”

SECOND ANNUAL ANGELINA 9/11 MEMORIAL RIDE–Remember the bike feature ‘Old School for a Friend’? Well on September 1st, 2002 the builder will beholding the second annual Angelini 9/11 Memorial Ride in memory of his buddyJoe Angelini Jr.

Ted Arsen of the HORSE will be there to cover the event. If by chance youare in or around NY on September 1st, ride on out.

–Frank Falco
Audiovox Corporation
150 Marcus Blvd.
Hauppauge, NY 11788
631-436-6524

ORWELL LOOKING FOR BIKE SHOPS–We are looking for bike shops to sell Sam Chopper Orwell. A dealer order consist of 12 books and counter display and shop poster for $9.00 a copy. Retail is $14.00. If you act now we’ll put a shop banner on Bikernet Links page which is usually a $30.00 charge. Such a deal. Drop a line to Sinwu@bikernet.com.

NEWS FLASH–Polish air disaster–Poland’s worst air disaster occurred today whena small 2-seater plane crashed into a cemetery this morning.

Polish search and rescue workers have recovered826 bodies so far and expect that the number willclimb as the digging continues into the night.

–from Ray R.

BIKERNET CORRESPONDENT AUDITIONS FOR TV SERIES–For a co-host position of “Two Chicks on a Harley” TV show. The show isabout two women who travel the USA experiencing life on the road, thepeople, the unpredictable, and the wind sisterhood bond that developsbetween two strangers who share a passion for motorcycles, road adventuresand the lifestyle. The two women will actually host the show, bringing theaudience along on their ride and experiences. It’s a reality TV show butfrom the genuine perspective, NO sensationalism. Think Jack K’s “On theRoad” and Robert Pirsig’s “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle…”, CharlesKuralt….

Sasha has a shot at the roll and we’ve got our fingers crossed.

Continued On Page 2

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REVTECH DFO PERFORMANCE SYSTEM

A Simple Modification To EFI Systems To Allow and Enhance Performance Modifications

With the complexity of factory OEM fuel injection systems, Custom Chrome in partnership with Techlusion felt it was important to provide owners with a product that is easy to operate, install and understand while not upsetting the stock fuel curve, or timing. This new DFO Box (Digital Fuel Optimizer) is just that animal. By attaching itself to the injector trigger wires and controlling fuel delivery as the signal travels to each injector the DFO box allows all the stock sensors and inputs to function just as the factory designed, whether it faces late or early fuel injection systems.

The DFO box operates like jet kits for carbureted engines, which normally change ranges of fuel at the main jet, needle or idle mixture. It allows you to make low rpm/cruise fuel changes as well as high rpm/ acceleration demand adjustments. The difference is that now an electrical signal changes the demand for fuel and not vacuum or pressure. The DFO Box also affords the rider quick and simple adjustments with the turn of a screwdriver.

In addition the DFO Box allows for accelerator pump adjustments electronically to enhance throttle response. We watched as this unit was installed at the Joker Machine Dyno facility and tested. In addition a shop owner, Mike Ingle from Grease Lightening was there to witness the product being applied and tuned. He was in the process of installing Power Commander units and immediately put the DFO unit to work on a customer’s bike. Since then he has installed two more units.

“There’s a couple of basic differences between the Power Commander units and the DFO box,” Mike said. The DFO unit is easy to install and inexpensive. It basically adds fuel to the mixture. The average guy can install this to a bike with basic modifications and tune it readily. It’s designed for any builder who changes pipes, air cleaners or makes minor mods to his engine. It does not mess with the timing.”

“The Power commander units modify the timing and will add or subtract fuel for heavier modified bikes and massive-inch engines. They are more costly and require more time, equipment and expertise to install. You must have a current dyno and an exhaust gas analyzer to set up a Power Commander properly, said Mike.”

Mike pointed out that the three maps supplied with the power commanders rarely work because the motorcycle must be modified exactly to fit the mapping. “The first DFO Box I installed was on a ’95-inch Twin Cam unit with stock compression. We were able to get 90 horses out of it with 105 pounds of torque. That’s not bad.”

The DFO box has four simple adjustments and can be readily adjusted by the rider with test rides. Custom Chrome is the exclusive distributor of this unit which has become the RevTech answer to fuel injection mods.

In the near future the past editor of Hot Rod Bikes, Frank Kaisler, will post his findings on this unit at the Joke Machine facility. Stay tuned for more info.

–Wrench

REGISTER NUMBER FIVE–A man was in a long line at the grocery store. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register.

She asked, “What size condoms?”

The customer replied that he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did, she reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, “One box of large condoms, Register 5.”

The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him.

She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did, she gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, “One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5.”

A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms.

She asked him what size and he said he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him one quick squeeze, then picked up the intercom and said “Cleanup, register 5”

–from Nuttboy

HARLEY-DAVIDSON ACCENTS ITS CUSTOM LEATHER SEATS WITH EXOTIC OSTRICH INSERTS– Get your head out of the sand and your butt onone of Harley-Davidson’s new Ostrich Seats for Dyna, Softail and Touringmodels. Available in solo, low-profile, touring and two-up, these limitedproduction seats offer a durable leather surface, flame patterned stitchingand a natural ostrich skin insert for a one-of-a-kind custom look.

The solo version provides low-down comfort in high style. The Solo OstrichSeat for Dyna (P/N 5 1253-02) offers a 13″ seat width with contoured foampadding for long-haul comfort. The seat fits ’96 and later Dyna models andretails for $469. The Solo Ostrich Seat for Softail (P/N 51252-02 for ’00and later FXSTD and 51260-02 for ’00 and later Softail models with theexception of FXSTD and FLSTS) provides a 12″ seat with no visible mountinghardware for a clean custom look. Each has a suggested retail price of $469.The Solo Ostrich Seat for Road King(r) (P/N 5 1264-02 for ’97 and laterFLHR/C/I) has a 13″ seat and fits ’97 and later FLHRICII models. Itssuggested retail is $499.

For riders who are looking for a seat that hugs the frame and fender forthat long and lean look, the low-profile seat is the answer. Each version isconstructed from a hand-laid fiberglass shell and high-density padding forsuperior wear. The Low-Profile Ostrich Seat for Dyna (P/N 5 1255-02 for ’96and later Dyna models except FXDWG, which uses P/N 5 1256-02) has a seatwidth of 13″ and a pillion width of 5.5″. The Low-Profile Ostrich Seat forSoftail (P/N 51251-02 for ’00 and later FXSTD models and 51259-02 for ’00and later Softail models with the exception of FXSTD and FLSTS) has a 13″seat width and a pillion width of 5″. The Low-Profile Ostrich Sear for RoadKing (P/N 5 1263-02 for ’97 and later FLHRICII) provides a 13.5″ seat and apillion width of 6.5″. The suggested retail price for all low-profileversions is $499.

BIKERS WARNED TO FOLLOW DRESS CODE AT FAIR– The Los Angeles Times.Concerned about violence erupting at the Ventura County Fair, police saymembers of the rival Hells Angels and Mongols motorcycle clubs will beturned away if they attempt to enter the fairgrounds wearing their colors.

The fair board this month approved a tighter policy prohibiting gangclothing, and identified 27 local groups as known criminal street gangs. Thelist includes the Hells Angels and Mongols. In the wake of past incidents,fair organizers say the dress code will help ensure that similar violencebetween those groups and other groups does not occur during the 12-day fairthat begins today at Seaside Park in Ventura.

“You have to look at whathappened at Laughlin,” Seaside Park General Manager Roger Gibbs said.

“Youhave Mongols living in Camarillo and Hells Angels five blocks from here.”

But national Hells Angels leader George Christie Jr. said his Venturachapter has been unfairly singled out and may file a lawsuit if members andtheir families are denied entry to the fair on the basis of their attire.”This is the same pill they have been feeding the public in Ventura for thepast five years, and it is a placebo,” Christie said. “We are not a streetgang. We do not conduct ourselves as a street gang. And the court has notfound that we are a street gang.” Concerns about clashes with the Mongolsare overblown, Christie said, saying a rally earlier this month in Hollisterdrew 80,000 bikers without incident.

“You know this is a knee-jerk reactionto what happened in Laughlin,” said attorney Kay Duffy, who was contacted byChristie after the chapter head learned about the fair board’s list ofgangs. Duffy contends there is no evidence that the motorcycle club meetsthe legal definition of a criminal street gang. She said a Ventura Countyjudge refused to impose gang conditions on Christie and his 25-year-old sonwhen placing them on probation three months ago in a drug sales case,concluding there was no evidence that the Hells Angels were a street gang.

Duffy says members of the Hells Angels should be treated no differently thanother club members who attend the fair. “4-H has agriculture,” she said. “Wehave motorcycles.”

But Ventura Police Department officials say 4-H membersaren’t typically the focus of criminal investigations or violentconfrontations. “Our concern was that the recent activities between theHells Angels and Mongols is exactly the type of stuff that could occurinside the fair,” Lt. Ken Corney, a gang expert, said.

–from Rogue

DRINKIN’ QUOTES– I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think aboutthe workers in the brewery and all of their hopes anddreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out ofwork and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say tomyself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let theirdreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”–by Jack Handy

–from Josh P.

BIKERNET BANS BIKE SHOW COMPETITION–In an investigation by the Los Angeles DEA Bikernet was found to be handing out free trophies to Bikernet Bike Show Winners filled with white powder. We have been banned by the Superior Court from making additional trophies in our drug lab under the headquarters. Under court order we are forced to change the Bikernet Cyber Bike Show to the Bikernet Reader’s Putts Section wherein readers can post shots of their bikes and the stories behind them. We’re looking forward to indepth tales behind rolling dreams, the love affairs and tech advice on building custom scoots. Unfortunately the bike owners will not receive free bags of drugs in the mail.The last of the competition was judged by the woman whose efforts kept the feds off our backs for this long. Crazy Horse, a noted custom bike painter, will continue to monitor, edit and assist riders who wish to post their story in the Reader’s Putts Department. She will also point out to us when she comes across a bike that deserves a full feature. Here’s her final judging report:

So here we are. Seeing how this is the last month of the Bike Show, Ithought I’d judge the Show myself. Now I may not be the most knowledgableperson when it comes to vintage bikes or motor details, but I know what Ilike. I like bikes that are different, unique or out of the ordinary,like old Jap and Brit chops that may or may not be immaculately polished.

Ihad a great time working on the Bike Show. I met many very nice folks andgot to see some of the best bikes in this here world. I look forward toworking with Bikernet readers on the Reader’s Putts section of the site. Gota story about your bike? Send it in and share it with the world.

Did ya’ll enjoythose 5-Ball trophies or did you cut them and sell them to teenagers behind schools? They’ll be scarce as $3,200 running Panheads afterthis. By the way, this year The HORSE Magazine’s Smoke Out was a trip asusual. Despite a 500 degree heat wave, the chopper faithful did come fromfar and wide to support the event. I spent most of the time giving my firstever airbrushing demonstration. I got to chat with many interested builders as Iworked. It was silly fun trading paint stories with fellow artists,especially Mike Martinez of Fla. The real twisted stuff went on after hoursat the Holiday Inn. I’ll have a full report as soon as catch up on my sleepand get all the knots out of my hair. I’m actually all caught up in mypaintwork. Imagine that! Wait a sec, is that ice on the lawn outthere?——-Crazy Horse

In The “Buell” Category
Matt Couch
Nassau , NY

In The “Open Class” Category
Nick Bowles
Oxford , Al

In The “Pro-Street” Category
Al Conte
Hollister , California

In The “Radical Custom” Category
Nick Pastore
Glendale , AZ

In The “Rat” Category
English Jim
Holly Hill , Florida

In The “Ridden” Category
J-BIRD
Indio , California

In The “Sportster” Category
Chopper
Winston-Salem , NC

In The “Street Custom-Stock” Category
Brad Rocole
Johnstown , PA

In The “Vintage” Category
Brad Culetta
Ajax , Ont.

In The “Vintage Chopper” Category
Doug Carlson
Rochester , NH

BIKERNET ADVICE IN DEALING WITH POLICE–don’t say the following: Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

OKAY, I GIVE UP–I met with a producer who wants to put together an hour long documentary on my plight to finish our “Badlands” book as I ride with Mike Lichter around the country. We’ll see.

We’re working on publishing my next book which is based on one rambling character, Chance Hogan. He’s just a biker who stumbles into one bad love affair and barroom brawl after another.

I know there’s more to report, but hold on, there’s always the news for next week, or if you can’t take the wait join the Cantina and check the Sunday Post. I promise to write another segment of the Cantina Soap Opera in the next couple of days. Meanwhile chase a woman until you can park your bike beside her apartment, chain it to the fence railing and crawl in her bedroom window. Isn’t that how it’s done everywhere? Ride Forever–Bandit.

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FATALITY FIGURES UNDERSCORE NEED FOR NEW ACCIDENT STUDY–The AMA has once again called for a comprehensive nationwide study of the causes of motorcycle crashes after the federal government released final motorcycling-related fatality statistics for 2001.The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) released final figures Aug. 7, 2002, that show 3,181 motorcyclists were killed on the nation’s roads last year, up from 2,862 the previous year. The final figure represents an 11.1 percent increase over 2000.

The fatality figures for 2001 also indicate that the highest percentage increases came among riders under the age of 40, which marks the reversal of a four-year trend. The NHTSA had issued a report last summer that noted deaths among motorcyclists over the age of 40 were on the rise beginning in the late ’90s.

The recent upward trend of motorcyclist fatalities followed 17 consecutive years of declines. From 1990 through 1999 alone, motorcycling-related fatalities dropped by 48 percent.

The AMA noted that one significant reason for the increase in motorcycling-related fatalities is that motorcycling has seen an enormous increase in popularity, with sales of new street bikes up more than 100 percent over the past five years, from about 243,000 in 1997 to more than 500,000 in 2001.

The AMA expressed concern over the increase in motorcycling fatalities, but noted the raw numbers offer no clear explanation for the increase.”The death of any motorcyclist is a tragedy,” said Edward Moreland, AMA vice president for government relations. “But because there’s no recent research, we don’t know the reasons behind the increases in fatalities. There’s a desperate need for detailed, comprehensive research.”

For the past several years, the AMA has asked the NHTSA to conduct a nationwide study of motorcycling accidents that would help identify elements that can improve rider safety. In 2000, the NHTSA and the Motorcycle Safety Foundation released a National Agenda for Motorcycle Safety to serve as a blueprint for improving motorcycling safety in the future. Representatives of the AMA and other industry groups were part of a team that helped shape the plan, which calls for more research into the causes of motorcycle accidents and potential ways to reduce them.

–from Roque and the American Motorcycle News Network. Check the full story on their site.

BANDIT’S CANTINA ROCKS!–

Yes, it’s that time again to announce who the winner of the CantinaGiveaway is. The lucky bastard is none other than Lynn Livingston fromTalent, OR. AKA – Motor. He was chosen for the subtle way he posted hisrequest—

Wanted: I want a fucking bikernet T-shirt damit all to hell.

Not only does Lynn get a Bikernet T-shirt, as a member of the Cantina healso get to read all of Bandit’s book in their entirety. Prize Possessionand Outlaw Justice are currently sold out but you can read them in theCantina.

You can also check out the Babe Of The Day, play games and ifyou’re into drama you can follow the antics of the horny characters ofBandit’s Cantina – the saga.

Well, whatta ya watin’ for? JOIN NOW!

THE WALKING DRUNK– An obviously drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar andorders a drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table.

He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanestlooking one in the face and says, “I went by your grandma’s house today andIsaw her in the hallway butt naked. Man, she is a fine looking woman!”

The biker looks at him and doesn’t say a word. His buddies are confused,because he is a bad ass, and would fight at the drop of a hat.

The drunk leans on the table again and says, “I got it on with yourgrandmaand she is good, the best I ever had!”

The biker’s buddies are starting to get really pissed, but the biker stillsays nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says,”I’ll tellyou something else, Boy, your grandma liked it!”

At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders andsays, “Damn it, grandpa, you’re drunk……. Go home!”

–from Rogue

MANN OF HIS TIME–Whitehorse Press releases Mann of His Time,the remarkable and inspiring story of racer Dick Mann

America has never produced a more accomplished andversatile professional motorcycle racer than Dick Mann. He held a positionin the prestigious top ten in the American Motorcyclist Association GrandNational Championship for 16 years, was the first man in history to winevery category of AMA Grand National competition, was America’s team captainat the Trans-Atlantic Match Races in Great Britain in 1971, was twice AMAGrand National Champion, won the Daytona 200 twice, won his class at thefirst AMA professional motocross held in America, and earned a bronze medalby completing the International Six Days Trial. Competing against Bobby Hilland Bill Tuman at the beginning of his professional racing career, andagainst Kenny Roberts, Torsten Hallman, and Brad Lackey toward the end, hestill competes and wins today on the popular vintage circuit.

Author Ed Youngblood draws upon his 30 years of experience in the motorcycleindustry, an exhaustive review of the existing motorcycle literature, andhundreds of interviews with Mann’s friends, colleagues, and competitors totell the story of one of the greatest motorcycle racers in history in thisnew book from Whitehorse Press. While Mann’s performance on the racetrackalone is enough to fill a life or a book, his accomplishments do not endthere. Youngblood describes how he pioneered racetrack safety and influencedmajor political changes within the American Motorcyclist Association. Racingduring a period of major transition in the sport, and influencing many ofits changes, he is an inventor, a fabricator, an accomplished motorcycleframe designer, and in recent years has become one of the foremost leadersin the vintage motorcycle racing movement.

The Mann Book is available through WhiteHorse Press or in the Bikernet Gulch through Amazon.com.

IIHS BULLSHITS THE WORLD ONCE MORE– The AMA, responding to a July 30 press release issued by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS), has pointed out significant errors in the IIHS’s arguments concerning crashes involving older motorcyclists.

In its release, the IIHS claimed that the annual Black Hills Rally & Races in Sturgis, South Dakota, serves as a case-in-point illustration of the increase in motorcycle-related fatalities in recent years, notably among riders over age 40. Specifically, the IIHS said that 36 of the 69 motorcycle-related fatalities in South Dakota between 1995 and 2000 occurred in the month of August, when the Sturgis event is held.

However, the IIHS neglected to take into account the enormous increase in the motorcycling population of South Dakota as a result of the rally, leading the group to erroneous conclusions, the AMA noted

According to figures from the IIHS release, there were six motorcyclists killed in South Dakota during the month of April over the six-year period, four in May, seven in June, eight in July, four in September and four in October. No motorcycle-related fatalities were recorded from November through March. The IIHS then said that the 36 motorcyclist fatalities in the month of August during the six-year period made it clear that older motorcyclists at the rally were raising overall fatality numbers in the state.

An AMA analysis of the data, however, shows that the IIHS’s conclusion is unsupported by the facts. The AMA pointed out that figures from the Motorcycle Industry Council for 1998, the middle of the time period cited by the IIHS, show there were 19,600 motorcycles licensed for street use in South Dakota. But during August, when the Black Hills Rally and Races attract riders from across the country, the motorcycling population of the state surges to more than 400,000.”That’s a 2,000 percent increase.”

–from Rogue and the American Motorcycle News Network. Read the full story on their site.

Thought you all might appreciate the subtlety of this ad, doneby a Brazilian ad agency, for a lubricating gel (K-Y equivalent) targetingtheFrench market. They were trying to come up with an ad that is not offensiveor tasteless.

–from Ray R.

DAYTONA BEACH COMMISSIONERS DELAY VOTE ON NUDITY BAN–By JOHN BOZZO, (john.bozzo@news-jrnl.com)Staff Writer, Daytona New Journal.

You can still legally go shopping wearing a thong here, but the skimpy swimwear could be outlawed by the time Biketoberfest rolls around.

The City Commission unanimously postponed action Wednesday on a nudity ordinance that would require clothing to cover at least one third of the buttocks and one quarter of a woman’s breast. More than half of about 100 people attending the meeting walked out after commissioners also decided to delay public comment.

“You guys are afraid of the people,” a man who said he was from Miami said loudly from the front row. Robin Farley, a Daytona Beach resident, was among the crowd in the lobby upset about being unable to speak Wednesday evening.

“It’s a party town,” Farley said. “Why waste the effort to pass the ordinance? What’s next? A bikini patrol with a measuring tape?”

City Attorney Robert Brown asked commissioners to delay action until their Oct. 2 meeting in hopes of settling a federal lawsuit challenging the city’s adult entertainment law.

“I do not want to confuse the possibility of a settlement of the lawsuit with this issue,” he said. A mediation is scheduled Aug. 16 in the federal lawsuit by Molly Brown’s and the Pink Pony challenging the city’s adult entertainment law. The clubs that feature nude dancing won a victory when a federal judge ruled last week the city fails to offer enough sites for such businesses.

After the crowd left commission chambers, commissioners voted 6-1 to appeal the federal judge’s ruling. Charles Cherry cast the dissenting vote.Suzanne Coe, an attorney representing the Pink Pony, called the proposed ordinance ridiculous.

“The city gets slammed by a federal court and now they’re going to slam something even more ridiculous on the residents,” she said.

Ron Krenn, owner of Molly Brown’s, said an “easy solution” to the lawsuit would be to allow Molly Brown’s and the Pink Pony to continue staging nude entertainment. That would give the city enough sites for adult entertainment to prevent any other club from opening up in the core tourist area. The only other area open for such businesses would be an undeveloped industrial area on the far west side of the city, he said.

SUPPLIES! —An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy. “You’re in charge of sweeping. To the Scotsman he says, “You’re in charge of shoveling.” And to the Chinese guy, “You’re in charge of supplies.” He then says, “Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a big dent in that there pile.”

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched.

He asks the Italian, “Why didn’t you sweep any of it?” The Italian replies, “I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinese a fella that he awasa ina charge ofa supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere.”

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, “And you; I thought I told you to shovel this pile.”

The Scotsman replies, “Aye, ye did lad; boot ah couldna get meself a shoovel! Ye left th’ Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin’ him either.”

The foreman is real angry now, and storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells “SUPPLIES!

–from Nuttboy

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Yesterday I rode the Touring Chopper to my martial arts class. The sifu, Richard Bustillo, is also a biker. He’s still riding the same stretched Pan he built 25 years ago. He was just innagurated into the Martial Arts Hall of Fame. We’ll feature his first modification in 15 years. He’s changing his ordinary Dick Allen rockers to a set of Sugar Bear’s.

I made runs to a tool repair joint to pick up a Makita battery charger, and a hardware store for Amazing Shrunken FXR shock bolts. I couldn’t get in and out of a store without rapping with a couple of guys about that wild red machine. It was a trip leaving the dojo dripping with sweat and drying off in the sun blasting down the freeway toward home. Couldn’t just ride to the headquarters, though. There was a shootout at the post office and half the town was shut down. Sinwu swears it wasn’t her fault. That ass will drive any man nuts.

This morning I tried to get out of the sack and get to work, but Sin snuck in the back door and pinned me to the bed. I tried to explain about the news in muttered tones under my breath as she… We’ll let’s get to it.

MISS GREAT BRITAIN SCORES– SBK FastDates.com Ducati girl Nicki LaneCompleted the winning package at Laguna Seca World Superbike Competition. Nicki served as official Ducati umbrellagirl for World Champion Troy Bayliss at laguna Seca. Not onlybeautiful, Miss Universe Nicki Lane is a professional theatrical dancerand teacher in London, and is completing her university degree inmarketing and economics.

Three beautiful FastDates.com Calendar girls including Nicki Lane shoton location at Laguna Seca World Superbike on the July 12th-14th weekendwith FastDates.com producer Jim Gianatsis for the SBK World Superbikeendorsed Fast Dates Racebike Pinup Calendar, with all 3 girls also beingselected by the World Superbike Championship winning Ducati Corse teamto be their official umbrella girls for their 3 team riders includingreigning and current season World Superbike Championship points leaderTroy Bayless, together with Ruben Xaus and Ben Bostrom.

We now have complete calendar order information, pricing and artworkavailable online on our FastDates.com Website at:

LONG BEACH COPS AND PRESS EXPAND CALENDAR SHOW COVERAGE–According to the Long Beach Press Telegram 300 Mongols attempted to storm the gates at the Long Beach/Queen Mary Calendar Show which was sponsored by Hot Bike Magazine, White Brothers and Bikernet. We were at the site and knew that only 100 tickets had been purchased. When the beefed-up LB Police turned the members away the promoter of the event returned their money.

According to the Press Telegram (Long Beach Paper): At about noon, the bikers tried to storm the entrance after verbal altercations with authorities, but were rebuffed by beefed-up security. said Long Beach Police Department spokesman Officer David Marander.

More that 100 Long Beach police officers turned out in tactical field response. “The gang members were flying their colors and refused to remoe them,” Marander said.

LIMERICK COMPETITION– This is from a limerick contest on Long Island. The requirements were to use the two words, Lewinsky and Kaczynski (the Unabomber), in a limerick. Here are the three winning entries:

Third place:
There once was a gal named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky.
‘Twas “Hail to the Chief”
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

Second place:
Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
We don’t want to leave clues like Kaczynski.
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And wipe that stuff off of your chinsky.

And the winning entry:
Lewinsky and Clinton have shown,
What Kaczynski must surely have known:
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter
When deciding how best to be blown.

–from Nuttboy

AMAZING SHRUNKEN FXR CHALLENGE INCREASES–Shrinking the FXR is a new challenge to Bikernet crew. Most parts developed in the aftermarket are designed for stretched custome motorcycles. We had to cut the Cyril Huse gas tank to fit the shortened frame, but we found a rear belt that fit perfectly which was our score for the shop yesterday. On the other hand we had to completely remount the tank. All four mounts crashed into the RevTech 88-inch engine.

Next we face mounting the oil bag and checking the new BDL system and clutch. We’re getting close to have a complete rolling chassis before final welding and a great deal of steel shaping. Oh, shit, we’re shooting for mid controls, using Joke Machine forward controls mounted to hand made control brackets and hand made exhaust system. Back to work.

–SPORTBIKE FAMILY EXPANDS–The Sportbike Riders’ Association, (SRA), has announced itscontinued expansion of the SRA family of sportbike websites with its recentacquisition of eSportbike.com, one of the leading sportbike community websites.The eSportbike.com site will continue with its own identity as it is furtherenhanced by the SRA’s team of developers, resulting in a means for fasterdissemination of sportbike related news and information to the members.

eSportbike.com is a sportbike community providing news, product information andcommunity resources to sportbike enthusiasts around the world, including the17,200+ registered members. Originally established by Kent Courtice assportbikeonline.com in 1998, the site had explosive growth in 2000 when itsponsored the AMA Formula Extreme Series of races. Kent commented, “My goal isto have eSportbike.com continue as one of the leading sportbike sites, and Iknow the SRA will do just that.”

“Adding eSportbike to our family provides members of all our sites the abilityto share knowledge, ideas and ways to promote the sport more effectively, whilewe, the SRA, can reach a broader base of sportbikers,” stated Mike DiSabatino,President of the SRA. Mike continued, “We have admired eSportbike’s ability toexpand while maintaining its focus. Now, the SRA will continue the tradition aseSportbike joins our main website, SportbikeS.com, and SuperbikeClub.com, thesite best known for its popular Top 100 sportbike list.”

COCKPIT SECURITY TEST–Did anyone read about the cockpit security test the government conducted?They got three or four special ops military personnel and took them to an airliner with a taser-armed crew in the cockpit.Then they said, ok, get control of this aircraft.

The 3 special ops guys took the service cart and broke through the door in 30 seconds (re-enforced under the new regulations). They blocked the taser darts with seat cushions from first class and had control of the cockpit almost immediately.

So much for the Bush-Mineta safe skies.

–from Rogue

DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN SHOP ONLINE RIGHT HERE AT BIKERNET?– Check outthe Gulch at the bottom of every page for items you won’t find anywhereelse. Joker Machine Apparel is our newest addition and they sport somepretty cool shirts for the men and cute little Thongs and tops for the womenas you can see above. Check them out!

BUDGET CUTS RESULT IN INCREASED MOTORCYCLE FATALITIES–(from Motorcycle News Network)The Motorcycle Riders Foundation (MRF), unveiled its agenda for the reauthorization of the Transportation Equity Act of the 21st Century (TEA-21). “Motorcycles Rev the Future” is a comprehensive plan emphasizing motorcycle safety, including incentives for state motorcycle safety programs and motorcycle awareness.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) announced on Aug. 7, 2002, that motorcycle fatalities increased for the fourth year in a row.* The MRF anticipated this increase, in light of the fact that new motorcycle sales are steadily increasing in the United States, jumping from 303,000 in 1990 to 356,000 in 1997, and then to 710,000 in 2000.

According to Tom Wyld, the MRF’s Vice-President for Government Relations, “The MRF has been aware of the potential that motorcycle injuries and fatalities could show another tragic increase. Riders know the causes. Riders know the cure. The causes? First, state-run rider safety training is in trouble. Through the late 1990s, waiting periods for rider training stretched upwards of one year in most states. Since September 11, 2001, state budgets for rider training have been reduced or eliminated. Second, NHTSA has focused on ‘safer crashing,’ as opposed to focusing its resources on ‘safer riding’ through state rider education programs.

“The cure? The MRF urges NHTSA to focus federal resources on state motorcycle rider training programs, which have consistently saved lives for many years.” Wyld is currently riding cross-country to address national motorcycle issues, including “Motorcycles Rev the Future” – the MRF’s comprehensive agenda for the reauthorization of TEA-21 – at the annual convention of the National Association of State Motorcycle Safety Administrators (SMSA) in Boise, Idaho.

“Motorcycles Rev the Future,” the MRF’s complete agenda for the reauthorization of TEA-21, can be viewed on the MRF website at www.mrf.org/TEA-03.php.

BROTZ WINS BY A WHEEL AT ROAD AMERICA BUELL LIGHTNING RACE–Nips Morris at Finish Line, Takes Series Points Lead.Elk Clint Brotz squeezed his Hal?s Performance Advantage Buell Lightning S1 just past teammate Richie Morris to score his second consecutive victory in a thrilling photo-finish in the fifth round of the Formula USA Buell Lightning Series, presented by Buell Pro Series Accessories, at Road America raceway.

Brotz, of Sheboygan, Wis., had led every lap of the seven-lap event and at one point had a 3.2 second lead over Morris, who lives in Elkhart Lake. Morris caught Brotz on the final turn of the race and drafted into the lead on the long uphill straight to the finish. But it appeared that Morris made his move too soon, as Brotz was able to repass Morris and held on to win by just 0.058 seconds.

?I was battling with Morris and Dan Bilansky in the early laps,? said Brotz. ?Then they dropped back and I had what I thought was a comfortable lead, so I backed off to save the bike. I had no idea Morris was catching me until I looked back in the final turn and he was right on my tail.?

Bilansky, of New Berlin, Wis. and also a member of the Hal?s Performance Advantage Buell team, dropped out with a mechanical problem on lap four. Bryan Bemisderfer of Greencastle, Pa., rode a Harley-Davidson of Frederick Buell Lightning to third place, 14.6 seconds behind the winner. Michael Barnes of Kosco Harley-Davidson/Buell-Innovative Motorcycle Research and a front-runner in the series all season, took the pole for the event but was unable to start after throwing a chain on the parade lap prior to the race.

The win at Road America moves Brotz past Bemisderfer and Barnes into the points lead after five of eight scheduled events in the Buell Lightning Series. Brotz has 84 points, while Bemisderfer is second with 80 points and Barnes falls 20 points off the lead with 64.

Brotz, who is 26 years old and has been road racing since he was 15, is in his first season on the Buell Lightning Series. ?I never thought I?d be in this position,? he said after the win at Road America. ?I threw my leg over the Buell for the first time at Daytona and now I just love the engine torque and handling of this bike .?

The Formula USA Buell Lightning Series, presented by Buell Pro Series Accessories, is a horsepower and weight-restricted Buell-only spec class. The sixth round of the Formula USA National Road Race Series will take place at Pocono Raceway, Long Pond, Pa., on Aug. 22-25.

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JOKER APPAREL IN THE GULCH–Be sure to check out the Gulch for your shopping needs. Pay special attention to our newest addition, Joker Machine Apparel.

SCREAMIIN’ EAGLE DUECE—IS CUSTOM TIMES TWO
Harley-Davidson’s Custom Vehicle Operations Team TransformsSoftail Deuce

MILWAUKEE, WI —July 17, 2002- It’s Deuces wild for the 2003Harley-Davidson

Custom Vehicle Operations (CVO) program. The latestcreation from the CVO workshop- the Screamin’ Eagle DeuceTM – is a limited-production interpretation ofthe FXSTD Softail Deuce featuring a Twin Cam 95 V-Twin engine and a host ofspecial custom parts and accessories from Harley-Davidson Genuine MotorAccessories.

In designing the Screamin’ Eagle Deuce, Harley-Davidson CVO sought toaccentuate the long, low custom style of the Softail Deuce. A lowered frontand rear suspension was installed, along with a front spoiler and a customlow-profile seat and pillion wit chrome inserts. The bike rides on chromeslotted six-spoke wheels with a 21-inch frontand a 17-inch rear. Special Centennial Gold and Vivid Black paint isdetailed with 23K gold leaf graphics, and the frame and swingarm, aircleaner, timer, derby cover and fuel tank console inserts are color-matchedin Centennial Gold.

The 2003 Screamin’ Eagle Deuce is the first Softail model to be thesubject of a CVO project. Established in 1999, Harley-Davidson’s CVO programhas produced low-volume, custom motorcycles using a handpicked team oftechnicians on a special assembly line at the Harley-Davidson plant in York,Pa. Approximately 3000 units of the 2003 Screamin’ Eagle Deuce will bemanufactured. Suggested U.S. retail for the Screamin’ Eagle Deuce is $25,995($26,095 in California).

The Screamin’ Eagle Deuce is powered by a Screamin’ Eagle Twin Cain 95Thengine, created by installing Screamin’ Eagle Big Bore cylinders on the sameTwin Cam 88B engine that powers the Softail Deuce. Displacement is bumpedfrom 88 cubic inches (1450cc) to 95 cubic inches (1550cc) with acorresponding increase in torque – from 85 lb.-ft. to 91 lb.-ft. at 3500rpm. The engine retains its EEl system and balancer shafts for snappythrottle response and minimal vibration and is 50-state emissions compliant.

Other mechanical upgrades include dual front disc brakes, slash downmufflers with full chrome heat shields, chrome 1.25-inch diameterhandlebars, braided stainless steel cables and brake lines, and a mini-tachbuilt into the handlebar clamp. Custom touches include Aileron handgrips,foot pegs, brake pedal pad and shifter pegs, and Buckshot custom chsomebrake and clutch hand levers. Harley-Davidson 100″‘ Anniversary badges arelocated on the fuel tank console insert and the engine crankcase. AHarley-Davidson factoiy security system with siren and a 100″‘ anniversarycustom indoor storage cover are also included.

The 2003 Scream’ Eagle Deuce from Harley-Davidson CVO is a doub]e dip ofcustom creativity. Features of the FXSTDSE Screamin’ Eagle Deuce include:
1550cc Fuel Injected Twin Cam 95~ Powertrain finished in Silverand Chrome
Centennial Gold and Vivid Black paint with Gold Leaf Graphics
Color-matched Centennial Gold Frame, Swingarm and front Spoiler
Color-matched Air Cleaner, Timer, Derby Cover and Fuel TankConsole Inserts
100th Anniversary Badging on Fuel Tank Console Insert and EngineCrankcase
Chrome Slotted Six Spoke 21-inch front wheels and 17-inch RearWheels
Chrome Slotted Six Spoke Rear Sprocket
Chrome Slotted Floating Brake Rotors
Lowered Front and Rear Suspension
Dual Front Disc Brakes
Silver Brake Calipers with Billet-style Chrome Inserts
Slash Down Mufflers with Chrome Heat Shields
Teardrop-shaped Chrome Air Cleaner Assembly
Low-profile Seat and Pillion with Chrome Inserts
Chrome, 1.25″ diameter Handlebars with Internal Wiring
Chrome Voltage Regulator
Clear Coated, Braided Stainless Steel Control Cables and BrakeLines
Silver-faced Speedometer and Tachometer
Handlebar Riser Mount Mini-Tach
Chrome Headlight Filler Panel and Handlebar Riser Cover
Chrome Lower Triple Tree Cover
Chrome Billet Mirrors
Aileron Custom Hand Grips
Buckshot Chrome Brake and Clutch Hand Levers
Smoked Turn Signal Lenses with Amber Bulbs
Polished Bullet Stainless Shift Linkage
Chrome Bullet Shift and Rear Brake Lever
Aileron Chrome and Rubber Footpegs, Brake Pedal Pad and ShifterPeg
Chrome Smooth-look Fork Stem Covers
Chrome Swingam Pivot Bolt Covers
Chrome Bullet Front Axle Covers
Chrome Rear Axle Covers
Chrome Front and Rear Wheel Spacers
Chrome Headbolt Covers
Chrome Lower Belt Guard
Chrome Brake Master Cylinder, Clutch Lever Bracket and chromeSwitch Housings
Chrome Front and Rear Master Cylinder Reservoir Covers
Chrome Forward Control Mounting Brackets
Chrome Valve Stem Caps
H-D(r) Factory Security System with Alarm Siren
100th Anniversary Indoor Storage Cover

For additional information on the Screamin’ Eagle Deuce andHarley-Davidson Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories, visit theHarley-Davidson Web site at www.harley-davidson.com. To find a dealer nearyou, call toll free 1-800-443-2153 in the U.S.A. or Canada.

TEXAS STYLY PARTY DRAGS– The Texas Scooter Times “Home of the Texas Style Party Drags” would like to remind everyone about the Houston Championships This Saturday at Houston Raceway Park, Featuring Nitro Harleys with 28 Sportsman Classes for ANY Type of Harley!

Vendor Midway – Burn Out Contests- “Saturday Nite Under the Lites!” – Don’t Miss It!

Gates open at 3pm – Time Trials Start at 4pm – Eliminations Start at 8pm.for more information visit www.texasscooter.com or call 254-687-9066

Track Located East of Houston in Baytown. From I-10, take exit 798 and travel South 3 miles on SR 146, then go South East on FM 1405 about a mile and then go 1.5 miles on FM 565.

SURREAL HUZE FEATURED ON BIKERNET–Cyril Huze met a customer through Bikernet and built the man his dream bike. The feature should be launched today. What a nice piece.

HOW TO DRINK MOONSHINE–A hitchhiker in the hills of Tennessee was picked up by a hillbilly whopulled a gun on him and ordered him to take a bottle of corn moonshine fromthe glove compartment of the truck. “Drink it,” the hillbilly ordered,waving the gun.

The hitchhiker took a swallow from the bottle, gasped,gulped, sobbed, blinked, wept, gagged, choked, shuddered, squirmed, andtwitched.

“All right,” the hillbilly said. “Now you take the gun and force me to takea drink.”

–Rogue

BIKERNET ON WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A COP–Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?

SUNDAY’S BIKER RALLY AGAINST CHILD ABUSE– (not a B.A.C.A. event) sponsored byTropical Heat & Big Dave’s Dam Saloon seemed to begin a little slow; lot’sof folks seemed to be recovering from the night before myself as well. Atfirst I was a little concerned about the turnout, but by the time the groupleft for the Hill Country Cruise out to Big Dave’s on Lake Travis there wereover a hundred bikes.

Big Dave’s was taking care of the first half of the run with music, food,biker games & course refreshments. By the time the weenie bite & slow racesgot under way people appeared to be coming alive again. Might have hadsomething to do with the lines inside at the bar. There were the typicalstories & visiting with folks you hadn’t seen in a while and lovely Texasladies everywhere!

Then after a few hours at Dave’s everyone was invited back to Tropical Heatfor the grand finale party of the day’s events that included more music, BBQfor $5 a plate & turkey legs for $4, 50/50, raffles, tattoo contest & thewet t-shirt contest. One lovely wild haired blond began showing off hertattoo’s early in the afternoon and seemed to reduce her competition priorto the judging.

While not able to partake of the events until the conclusion and not havingfound anyone that did make it to the end and can still remember to tell ofit. I’d have to say the event was a success. Congrats to all the folksthat staged this rally and hopefully we’ll see the “Second Annual” nextyear.

–Rigid frame Richard

DARWIN AWARD NOMINEES– A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died ofsuffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6’2″ tall and weighed225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and whitesaddle shoes, and a woman’s wig. It appeared that he was trying to create aschool girl’s uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas mask that hadthe filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. Theother end of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow wooden tubeapprox. 12″ long and 3″ in diameter. The tube’s other end was inserted intohis rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation.

Policefound the task of explaining the circumstances of his death to his familyvery awkward.

WHY ARE WE RUNNING A HONDA REPORT?–Honda says they expect the Asian market to outspend the European andthe North American markets in the near future on motorcycles!

Satoshi Toshida, chief executive of the Bangkok-based Asian Honda Motor Co Ltd, saysHonda’s expansion in Asia would help its regional sales outpace its ambitious globaltargets between now and 2005. Honda dominates the Thai motorcycle market and expects toaccount for 950,000 of the 1.2 million bikes sold in the country in 2002. Dayum, that’sa lotta motorsickles.

–Gunny

Bikernet Australian correspondent at Bikernet/LA Calendar Show Party

NOTE FROM AUSTRALIAN CONNECTION ABOUT JET BIKES– Piaggio, the largest scooter manufacturer in Europe and maker of thefamous Vespa scooter, has offered two new weeny 50cc models, the Piaggio NRG and theGilera Runner. Both models use a fancy new 50cc “Pure Jet” engine that incorporates theOrbital direct injection system. The article I read said they get a fuel economy of 50km/litre, but Hell if I know how that translates to mpg! These two little bugs are thefirst bikes to use this new technology with a simple catalyst to achieve pollutioncontrol and still have some kick.

Peugeot Motocycles also launched two 50cc models using the same technology. They are theLooxor and Elystar. At this time they are available only in Europe.

LET’S SPLIT–Okay, so I’m not going to Sturgis, won’t see the brothers along the road, but I’ll write about a Sturgis adventure in the next issue of HORSE. I’ll cover one of those nights when the Twilight Zone rode with us to the very end. A night when neither my brother nor I thought we would make it back to the camp. By the way, all these stories end up in our Cantina after they are published in the mighty HORSE.

Start looking out for American Rider if you’re a new rider and want to learn about the beautiful Twin Cam you’re astride. We’re picking one apart piece by piece with techs for the “complete idiot” in American Rider

Meanwhile, don’t ride at night in Deer country, watch out for sobriety check points and the new, less tolerant South Dakota laws. Other than those delicate points, have a helluva good time and get away with anything you can, except stealing motorcycles. Ride forever, Bandit.

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FOUR TYPES OF SEX–HOUSE SEX – When you are newly married and have sex all over the house inevery room.

BEDROOM SEX – After you have been married for a while, you only have sex inthe bedroom.

HALL SEX – After you’ve been married for many, many years you just pass eachother in the hall and say “FUCK YOU”

COURTROOM SEX – When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce courtin front of many people for every penny you’ve got.

–Rogue

HARLEY ANNIVERSARY GROWS– Harley Davidson’s One Hundred year anniversary has taken on alife of its own. California Speedway will host the third leg of a worldwide travelingcelebration uniting motorcycles, music, history and more, starting in September. This isthe Harley-Davidson’s 100th Anniversary Open Road Tour, a series of gigantic weekendfestivals created to celebrate a true American icon. When you find it in your area besure and attend. Tickets for U.S. and Canadian Open Road Tour stops are on sale now. You can even buy tickets online and see their schedule. Go to www.harley-davidson.com,or to www.ticketmaster.com, or at Ticketmaster.

SOMETHING ABOUT A ROOSTER–A rooster is walking along one day when he comes to a riverbank with a big bag of cat food beside it. Uninterested in the bag, helooks over to the other side and sees a huge bag of chicken feed which instantly makes his mouth water. Beside the bag of feed is a small cat that is hungrily eyeing the cat food on his side.

The two look at each other and wonder what to do. The rooster says, “I know, if we run & jump high enough we should be able to make it to the other side.”

The cat responds “OK, let’s give it a try”

The rooster heads back about 15 feet, makes a run for it and jumps as high as he can. He flaps his wings like crazy and just makes it to the bag and starts devouring the chicken feed.

The cat, now more motivated than ever, heads back about 20 feet and makes a run for it. He jumps, and SPLASH! He lands right in the middle of the river.

The Moral of the Story: For every satisfied cock, there’s a wet pussy!

ANTI-CIGARETTE ADS BULLSHIT–They bug the shit outta me, not because I love to smoke, but because of their attacks on freedom. If a man wants to smoke, ride fast or drink, let him be. Did you see the news recently that the fourth deadliest disease in this country is hospital induced infections killing over 100,000 annually. More recently another statistic was revealed: 75,000 die annually because, during a hospital stay, they were given the wrong medicine, diagnosed improperly or over medicated. Beware of Hospitals. Here’s an example:

REAL EMERGENCY ROOM VISITS–> PRICKLY PAIR—–OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to hispenis. He complained that his wife had “…a rat in her privates…” and it bit him during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

For many of us heading out onto the open road, the benefits of being able topitch a tent are innumerable, and the experiences almost always memorable,whether enjoying the camaraderie of like-minded rally-goers, or basking inthe remote solitude of a perfect site well off the beaten path. Not onlythat, camping can considerably stretch your travel budget. Whitehorse Pressis pleased to announce publication of the first guidebook for camping on twowheels, MOTORCYCLE CAMPING MADE EASY, written by veteran rider and life-longcamper Bob Woofter. Here is everything you need to know to get startedright, plus valuable tips and resources for experienced campers as well!

The book is loaded with practical advice to help riders enjoy the wholeexperience, covering issues such as assessing your current bike for spaceand load-carrying capacity, finding motorcycle-friendly campgrounds andrallies, planning and packing properly for your trip, dealing with”critters” at camp, preparing meals on wheels, mastering traditional campskills like building a campfire, and caring for your equipment after youreturn home. An extensive resource directory lists dozens of equipmentsuppliers to orient you in the overwhelming sea of information availabletoday on gear, luggage, clothing, and even trailers.

Also, check out other camping gear and accessories available throughWhitehorse Press including the popular Go-Kot and our 100% Waterproof TravelBags at http://www.whitehorsepress.com/email.asp?cn=50245&en=en0207&id=home.

A GLIMPSE OF THE FUTURE?What’s Black and White and No Longer Red All Over?Presstime, 07-08/02,A study of newspaper Internet operations worldwide finds that about a thirdare making money.

–from John Siebenthaler

Yipee!

WHAT AN ASS–A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an oldfarmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. Thenext day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news.The donkey died.”

Kenny replied, “Well then, just give me my money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

Kenny said, “OK then, at least give me the donkey.”

The farmer asked, “What are you going to do with him?”

Kenny replied, “I’m going to raffle him off.”

Farmer exclaimed, “You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”

Kenny replied, “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he is dead.”

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, “What happened withthat dead donkey?”?

Kenny said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 a piece and made aprofit of $898.”

Farmer asked, “Didn’t anyone complain?”

Kenny replied, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his money back.”

Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron Corp

–from LA frogman

BROS CLUB REPORT–Wanted to let you know what’s happening here at BROSCLUB…Most of us enjoy the open road, but it’s the shits when you’re scoot takes acrap outside your own familiar territory. That’s why a BROSCLUB RoadsideAssistance membership is so valuable. The push is on for Sturgis and we’reenrolling new members and renewing old ones, by the droves.

With more than40,000 flatbeds, our coverage extends across the entire Country and Canadatoo. If you’re not a member of HOG, or if you ride a custom or any otherbrand, play it safe and pack a BROSCLUB membership in your saddlebag thisyear. Instant activation is available, enroll online at www.brosclub.org orcall toll free 24 hrs a day at 800-547-2767 (press option 2).

–DJ Coates, National Director
info@brosclub.org

BIKERNET STAFF RUMOR– I just discovered (from a private source),That theDigital Gangster is opening some high rise apartmentsnear the Seattle area.These high Class Condo’s Will beavailable to Bikers Only.There will be no security foryour scoots,so you will have to drive them into theliving room. All the plumbing has a new type areatedfeature , so please do not stand under the condo. AgentScoot signing out,somewhere in the boonies of Pennsylvania.

–freakinbiker

BIKERNET/HORSE SMOKE-OUT A SUCCESS–Somewhere in the Carolinas south of Charlotte, Edge, a military man and his wife launched the third Smoke-out at some fairgrounds. I was riding a 113-inch Ultra and following Mike Pullin the man behind the Run For Breath out of Charlotte. I didn’t have the slightest notion of where the hell I was. The weather was an oppressive 100 degrees and 100 percent humidity. I don’t know how that’s possible with a draught looming over the region.

As you can see the party was packed with activity and competitions including bike shows and actually watching a custom Sportster being built on the grounds. Our Crazyhorse painted the sheetmetal in the dusty barn and did one helluva job. As the sun set the Discovery Channel followed the crazyness in the camp grounds, Billy Lane and Roger Borget as the night exploded. Next year will be killer.

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TRIBUTE TO MOTHER SUPERIOR–The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bedtrying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink,butshe refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen.

Remembering a bottle of whiskey received as a gift the previousChristmas,she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips.Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she haddrunkthe whole glass down to the last drop.

“Mother,” the nuns asked with earnest, “Please give us some wisdombefore youdie.

She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said,”Don’tsell that cow.”

REVTECH COMPLAINT–Remember, you asked! I have a scoot made by other than Harley that usesRevtec motors and trannies. This is the second of these that I have owned.The first one, a 2000 ’88 CI Revtec lasted about 3000 miles before having tohave an extensive rebuild. Of course, this happened in the middle of ridingseason last year (no Sturgis for Doc).

So I trusted that it was a flukeand upgraded to a 100 incher. This one lasted 3600 miles before it smokedthe end of June(again in the middle of riding season). I asked for a quickreplacement from CCI. What I got was run around ” If we were to replace allof the engines that needed it, we’d be out of bussiness” from customerservice. They finally evaluated the broke motor, and lo and behold…..itwas a broke motor.

They cite this thing as the next best thing to free pussy(ain’t happenin’, trust me) and don’t stand behind shit. They sent a newengine and the wrench had it almost ready to start and CCI calls….. thenew motor is being recalled. Seems their Korean mechanics left the wrist pinkeepers off. I wonder how you say wrist pin keepers in Korean?

So here I am, high and dry right before Sturgis-time and ascoot that’s been down for over a month. The reason I paid high bucks is soI wouldn’t have to put up with this shit. I reitereate: Don’t buy CCI Koreanshit, or take your chances!

–Riding the bus, Doc

This is one readers opinion. We’ve worked with two RevTech engines without major problems. We are currently building a bike with another. We’ll see and let you know if we have problems. –Bandit

BIKERNET BEST COMPANY NAME AWARD–

THIS IS SO TRUE!!!!!!!–Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 A.M. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA).After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can’t find a good paying job in…..AMERICA…..

–from Rachael

LEATHER SHOP/BIKE MUSEUM– Businessman Frank Westfall has a passion for old motorcycles that,even if he didn’t talk non-stop about them, would be evident to any visitor in his SalinaStreet leather shop. At least a dozen historical two-wheelers are parked throughout hisMiddleEarth Leather Works, a longtime leather shop that now doubles as the MotorcycleMuseum of Syracuse.

This guy is a bonafide collector and we are told this place is a “must see” on your NewYork State tour list. He has expanded now to vintage races each year at the fairgrounds. If you’re in the area do yourself a favor and stop by at the leather shop.

–Gunny

NEW PAINT TECHNIQUE–Yes, it’s house paint, done with a roller! I was disgusted with smoothe paint jobs after buffing a metalflake job for a?picky customer ?for a friggin month…you should have seen the owner of the lowrider when he stopped by and found Sarah, Broadus and me with brushes and rollers in the booth covered in black paint! Pin-up to come this weekend, I hope!

–Flynch

ANOTHER BURN ON MEN– One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.

The first man prayed to God, saying, “Please God, give me the strength to cross this river.”

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, “Please God, give me the strength. And the tools to cross this river.”

Poof!

God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, “Please God, give me the strength and the tools — and the intelligence — to cross this river.

And – poof!

God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.

BIKERNET REPORTER CAPTURED ON HARLEY-DAVIDSON SITE–To see this picture and morE go to Harleys official sitehttp://www.harley-davidson.com When page loads hit United States and then 100th Anniversary – Were YouThere? HELL YEA I WAS!!!!!!!!!!

–Rogue

THE QUANTUM SAGA CONTINUES–Ever since American Quantum Motorcycle Company closed it’s doors and filed for bankruptcy the employees have been trying to collect monies that were owed them for wages. They still have not been paid.

The case is in the United States Bankruptcy Court in Orlando Florida and though assets have been sold and a lot of money generated none of it has made its way to the employees. There are serious questions why this has not happened and where has the money gone that has been collected so far.

On March 21 2002 Barbary Cooney, John Herlihy, Dennis Rowan and Carroll Dean West all past Quantum employees being owed money appeared in court to object to a compromise submitted by the trustee in the case Mr. George E. Mills JR. and his attorney Mr. Peter Hill. Present was Andres Salazar also a past employee.

The motion wanted to reduce the amount owed by some creditors and the employees objected. The Trustee and his Attorney in Court assured them that the reduction would not hinder the payment to employees but in fact generate the needed revenue to Pay In Full the monies Owed By law to the employees. That the money would be collected and that employees would be paid in 90 – 120 days.

The employees present removed their objection with the understanding they would be paid within the 120 days. A discussion followed out side the court and those present were informed the amounts they were to receive.

Mr. Mills, Mr.Hill and the presiding Judge were recently sent letters reminding them that the 120 days was coming up and there had been no word on when the monies were to be paid.

In a letter I received from Mr. Mills in regards to this he States: A review of all the claims filed to date with their priority status shows that there is not enough money on hand in the case to pay all wage claims 100%. Here is how claims get paid by law.

Chapter 7 Administrative claims (trustee, trustee?s attorney,and costs incurred during the Chapter 7)

Chapter 11 Administrative claims (wages, rent & taxes incurred during the Chapter 11 period)Wages and payroll taxes incurred pre-petition or prior to the Chapter 11 filing.

We have funds on hand to make a partial distribution of approximately 50% of the payroll claims filed. This will cost more money in the form of administrative fees,however,this is an option we are looking at.

Peter Hill (my attorney) is filing a demand for return of funds from some of the investors who we believe are guilty of usury under the state statue.

If we are successful in this pursuit we will have enough funds to pay allowed wage claims 100% My goal is to be able to pay 100% of the payroll tax and wage claims. To date I have fallen short of that goal. I am still optimistic.Signed George E. Mills Jr.

Sounds like B.S. to me. When in court on the 21st they read the amounts to be collected and assured employees and the court it would be more than enough to cover this. If the amount was not enough it was not suppose to be reduced.

It appears that the trustee and his attorney are making quite a bit of money on this though. It would be interesting to know Exactly How Much They Have Received So Far.There is also the issue of the Large Amount of Money that was acquired through the Sale to Aquino and the distribution of that money. It sure did not come to employees and according to the trustee that would have been a priority as opposed to another party.

Some thing does not smell right with this whole thing and I welcome any help that I can get to get to the bottom of it and collect Wages Owed to Past Employees.

I will keep you informed as best I can should I hear any thing. If you have any information or ideas please let me know.

–ROGUE

Continued On Page 3

You’ll discover reading this new installment that Bikernet has developed an extensive, risk-taking team of reporters all over the world. Let’s get to it:

SHOVELHEAD BLUES–Thanks to the powers that be… welder , die grinder, sledge hammer &dumping the Exile seat, I got the damn thing (oil bag) to fit…… pretty fuckingtight though. I’m trying to squeeze in my oil bag over the bitchin electric start BDL belt drive and new clutch–what a fine unit. Check out the pics. At this rate I may have it running bythe weekend….

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Grumble, nothin’ is going right… actually it is funny…. Think I found the problem I …Seems the wife has made a shovel voodoo doll & has been poking pins init… think that could be it?

–Richard

BIKERNET DISCOVERs AL QAEDA NETWORK HOME–The deepest Al Qaeda acts of terrorism go on daily 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Snake our under-the-bar reporter dashed into the headquarters the other day, turned on the rickety black and white television and flipped to channel 14. He stood there in the midst of grinding dust while sweat ran down his dusty brow. “That’s it!” he shouted pointing at Wolf Blitzer on CNN. “They are all Al Queda!”

I dropped the die grinder and Nuttboy turned off the rattling cut-off saw while a reporter began to smile and report that the stock market was still falling. He frowned as he reported that generally the country’s production had increased, but smiled again to report that stocks were again on the slide. Wolf came back on the tube with a constant negative harangue of the US handling of the Afghan war. The more we watched the more these people found one way or another to say that the American people were mishandling every aspect of their lives. We stood dumfounded while they never once attacked the actual terrorist or complimented Harley-Davidson for their continued growth or any other company or employees who devote his or her lives to increased technology, profits or products. We’ll report more on this finding later.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–They all have escaped to the mainland and we have proof. They’re having a barbecue in Sturgis and if I was going, I’d be there. Show up in my sted will ya, and tell Jose I’m sorry I couldn’t make it.–Bandit

“OLDIE BUT A GOODIE”– A train hits a bus load of school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter. St. Peter asks the first girl, “Karen, have you ever had any contact with a penis?”

She giggles and shyly replies, “Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.

St. Peter says, “OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.”

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, “Karina have you ever had any contact with a penis?”

The girl is a little reluctant but replies “Well once I fondled and stroked one.”

St. Peter says “OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.”

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says “Susan! What seems to be the rush?”

The girl replies “If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jackie sticks her arse in it!!”

EARLY STURGIS REPORT–“The two don?t look right together (Kenny Price from Samson bought a rare 1920 stakebed Samson truck and found a 1920 Harley-Davidson to display in the bed at his Sturgis western building). One is old and original (rusty piece ofshit) and the other is clean.

“Sturgis is starting to come alive. There are alot of bikes out on the roads and more coming in every day. By tomorrow theywill be arriving in droves.

“Weather is supposed to be as perfect ascan be with little or no rain at all in the near future. It was supposed toget up to 100 today but I don?t think it got that hot. Cooler tomorrow inthe 80’s.

“This town looks different every year. Major changes have takenplace as far as development and improvements. Anyway, gotta get to the bar.The crew called and they have a long line of shots of jack waitin for me.

–Kenny

ROB’S BIKE FEATURE–If we’re lucky Rob’s bike will be featured with building shots on Bikernet later today. Rob recently wrote in with a question about having his bike featured in a magazine: “Here’s a dumb question, but I send visuals to offset the stupidity. I plan on submitting the bike I built, to the various mags, hoping to find someone interested in doing a feature.I figure the bike can stand on it’s own merits, but since it is a ground-up-home-built, and considering it is my very first bike of any kind, it might make a better story.

As an added bonus, I already have a gorgeous model who has committed her services, if I do make it in the magazine. (See attached visuals)

My stupid questions are: Do the mags care if I have a model to supply? What is the customary payment made by the mags for a models services?

I’d hate to get shot down because her fees are more than the payment offered by the publication.

This is were you tell me to get my head outta my ass, I can’t afford her…….

Rob Steffens

I answered his questions in detail, but the bottom line is she’d get a rusty moped on the cover of any rag.–Bandit

DEAL OF THE WEEK–From August 5th through August 31, WILD FIRE HARLEY-DAVIDSON IS having a great sale on ALL consumables.

20% off ALL: TIRES OILS & PRIMARY FLUIDS CLEANING PRODUCTS

COME ON IN AND SAVE BIG OR JUST STOCK UP FOR THE NEXT TIME YOU NEED THESE ITEMS THAT JUST WILL NEVER GO TO WASTE.

WILD FIRE HARLEY-DAVIDSON/BUELL
120 W NORTH AVE
VILLA PARK, ILL 60181
630 834 6571

KAWASAKI ANNOUNCES OFF-ROAD MODELS–Kawasaki has anounced its 2003 off-road motorcycle and all terrainvehicle (ATV) line-up. They will be in showrooms soon. They say the alliance betweenthem and Suzuki will make both companies better able to compete in the off road market.

CHINESE SCOOTS RACE THE GREAT WALL– The Chinese are always movin’ and groovin’ when it comes to scoots.Reuters news tells me that they’re building a motorcycle race track right in the shadowof the Great Wall. Starting in 2004, they’re gonna use it for their own Chinese GrandPrix. One day before this old Gunny jumps in the dirt, I’m gonna get me back to Chinaand see this for myself.

–Gunny

Canadian girl who didn’t quite get Puss’s Commandments.

10 BIKER COMMANDMENTS FOR WOMEN– by Puss-In-Boots. Puss is a regular contributor to Bandit’s Cantina.

1.??? Thou shalt be ready at a moments notice to ride wherever and on whatever bike the OM wants to ride.

2.??? Thou shalt ALWAYS be freshly shaved, tanned, make-up perfect, and have that teeny top, G-string and chaps ready at all times.

3.??? Thou shalt be ready to fetch beer, food, clothes and any other items the OM may need.

4.??? Thou shalt be ready for sex at all times, day or night and as many times as he wants.

5.??? Thou shalt put aside thine own pleasures, his pleasure and his friend?s pleasures are #1.

6.??? Thou shalt always remember the GOLDEN RULE: 100% satisfaction guaranteed, if not there are 100 other bitches waiting to rub pussy with your OM.

7.??? Thou shalt NEVER complain how rough it is riding fender, or thou shalt walk home.

8.??? Thou shalt always show your breasts or naked body whenever requested by your OM or his brothers, for it is an insult to your OM to refuse.

9.??? Thou shalt always remember you know NOTHING.

10.?????????????????????? Thou shalt always drink in moderation, and never, never get so drunk you dance naked on the bar tables asking his buddies for chocolate flavored condoms.

After careful consideration Puss and Boots has been elected the Bikernet employee of the year by a unanimous vote.–

TEAMSTERS POKER RUN AND FREE DONUTS–71.8 Mile Poker Run to Help Defeat MS. August 4th 2002 (Sunday)
Sponsored by The Teamster Horsemen Motorcycle Association,
P.O. BOX 478
SUGAR GROVE ILLINOIS, 60554
INFO: 630-833-5718
FAX: 630-466-7623
www. Teamsterhorsemen . org
Start: Line up at 9:00am at (Wild Fire Harley Davidson)
30 West North Ave
Villa Park, Illinois
First Bike Out: 10:30am
Last Bike Out: 11:00am

FREE DOUGHNUTS Provided by Wild Fire Harley Davidson

Free Lunch Provide by Karla?s River Road Pub.

Run: 71.8 Mile Poker Run to Karla?s River Road Pub in Oregon Illinois, This Run Will Start on North Avenue and STAY on North Avenue all the way to Oregon, it will have 3 Bar Stops in between for cards.

Mail DONATIONS to: Teamster Horsemen Motorcycle Association P.O Box 478 Sugar Grove Illinois, 60554

BIKERNET SURFBOARD OF THE WEEK–Bill Dodge of West Coast Choppers??new Longboard … something a little different …Do they have barracuda in SoCal??????

–from Chris T.

Continued On Page 2