BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LOVE RIDE WEEKEND–WE FOUND THE CANTINA

We’ve investigated opening the real Bandit’s Cantina. After years of research we finally found the perfect location. It’s a mere 700 miles from anywhere, off highway 666, on a small 25-mile dirt road that boards three raging streams and two rivers. The rivers, unlike any other dry lake region in the United States this year, are over flowing and vehicle crossing is virtually impossible.

The above shot depicts the state-of-the-art water pump that supplies the Cantina with spring water from the various bubbling springs that surround the property. Well, what the hell do you think? I guarantee that if you can get your bike to Bandit’s Cantina it won’t be stolen.

Let’s get to the news:

BIKERNET’S PRIEST– The Priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he keptin the hen house out back of the parish manse. He had a cock rooster andabout ten hens.

One Sunday night the rooster went missing believed stolen,so he decidedto do something about it at church the next morning.

At mass he asked the congregation, “Has anyone got a cock?”

All the menstood up. “No, no,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant, has anyone SEEN a cock?”

All the women stood up.

“No No,” he said “that wasn’t what I meant either. Hasanyone seen a cock that doesn’t belong to them?” half the women stood up,

“No No,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant, has anybody seen my cock?”

All thenuns, three alter boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

–Nuttboy

POP’S BIKE–Here is the picture of my Dad in about ’48 or ’49, even he doesn’t remember exactly when. He bought it after he got out of the Navy after WW2. Seems that V-twins and old sailors go together. Keep up the great work on the sight.

–Tom Conley
Montclair, CA

TWIST GEAR NEWS?–The Buell guys seem quite excited about this. Check top end and look at shift points. More info on websitewww.twistgear.net.

I ran this as an example of a release I couldn’t post. We need low resolutions Jpgs that are no biggers than 500 pixels tall or wide. And generally if you just copy and paste your wording in an e-mail to Bandit@bikernet.com, we’re good to go. Too often attachments are packed with coding that drives the girls in the back to early margaritas, if we can open them at all. Thanks.

BIKERNET SENIOR NEWS–An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

“I’m 90 years old,” he says.

“90!” replies the woman. “Don’t you realize you’ve had it?”

“Oh, sorry,” says the old man, “how much do I owe you?”

–from Nuttboy

NEW CYRIL HUZE SPIKEE GRIPS–Unique design from Cyril Huze with extra length for added comfort. Fits all models except those with air assisted forks. Compliments the new Huze Spikee line of handlebar risers, mirrors, footpegs, velocity stacks, primary side covers. Available for external and internal throttle systems. A spike theme to develop all over your custom bike. All Spikee grips have a removable end on the clutch side for installation of a mirror directly on the grip.

–Cyril Huze
Tel: 561-392-5557
Website: http://www.cyrilhuze.com

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“ENTHUSIAST IN ON THE STREETS NOW– This issue is the first of four quarterly issues, all related to the 100 Anniversary. “Enthusiast” is dividing the last one hundred years into four segments of twenty five years each and detailing H-D’s history with intriguing and unique stories; ultimately ending with the present era.

This issue presents Tom Fritz’s “Great Doings”,on the cover; an official 100th work which you can order in print form with the special 100th Insignia frame package. Inside, an article explains the importance of all the 100th pieces and how the collection was born. This magazine launches a major national campaign to make riders aware of this desirable collection. ( 860,000 to be exact). Call me if you have any questions or need support materials on the 100th Anniversary Commemorative Collection.

— Ron Copple 800-999-1297

MORE NEW PRODUCTS FROM CYRIL HUZE–SPIKEE RISERS–These riser kits have a unique concave design with spike covers. They feature invisible hardware: cover hides the upper handlebar clamp bolts. For strength and security, risers are machined out of steel, and covers are billet aluminum. Then they are beautifully chrome plated. Available in 3″, 5″ and 7″ rise for 1″ or 1 1/4″ custom handlebars (bars must be 1 1/4″ diameter in the clamping area). Clamp bolts included. Cyril HuzeTel: 561-392-5557Website: http://www.cyrilhuze.com

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GUNNY SACK NEWS STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists(A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the LawOffices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE, or visitus on the web at .

From TheGUNNY’S SACK

You know there is no end to some of the nastiness we see in the media about riders andmotorcycles. We’ve had a few reports recently from my boss, Oregon A.I.M. Attorney SamHochberg, about what he sees on TV now and then that gets HIS hackles up. He just toldme another one: Seems that on the VERY popular NBC show “ER,” there was a scene with ayoung girl who was on the back of a bike when it wrecked. She arrived basically DOA inthe emergency room. Not much talk in the script about what CAUSED the wreck. Not ANYtalk about safety training. Just this little exchange. One doc says “What was she doingon the back of a motorcycle?” The British doctor, “Dr. Corday,” says: “What is ANYBODYdoing on a motorcycle?!” It couldn’t hurt to complain to NBC. They’re big boys, they can take it. Tell ’em yourGunny sent you, and e-mail an extra copy of whatever you write to me, if you would, atAIMGunny@aol.com.

NEWS BITS’N PIECES:

TORONTO, CANADA: Here’s some more media hype I saw; this one online. The headline:”Dozens of Outlaw motorcycle gang members, including some top leaders, were arrested inraids on biker clubhouses in Canada and the United States.”

In Canada there were supposedly over 500 officers involved in this abomination, but thepress made it look even bigger than it really was. In the USA, the same game is beingplayed. I’m not saying I think all riders are saints. We have a few sour apples, too. Our biggest problem as I see it is much the same as the Harley parked outside a bar thateverybody sees but no one ever sees the five or six pick-ups parked there too.

HARRISBURG, PA.: This is some good news. Pennsylvania Motorcyclists have “taxed”themselves to ensure safer riding. They voted in some increased funding for their stateMotorcycle Safety Program. It’s the best way to prevent motorcycle accidents, injuriesand deaths, says ABATE of Pennsylvania. And Joe Public still thinks we have a death wishbecause we ride. This bill had 68 co-sponsors.

All SMRO’s (State Motorcycle Rights Associations) could take a lesson here. In Oregon wedid about the same thing a couple of sessions ago and it works.

NOVA SCOTIA, CANADA: This bit comes to me (word for word) from Animal, my good buddy fromthe north country: “Each year I emcee a toy run up in New Brunswick. This year we raisedover $10000 in cash and toys which is an awesome amount for up here. $5000 of it camefrom the inmates of the Dorchester Penitentiary.” Wow! Even convicts in Canada lovekids. And why not.

TOKYO, JAPAN: Government is stickin’ it’s paws where they shouldn’t be again, this timein Vietnam, and it’s about motorcycles. In September, their government put a cap on howmany bikes and bike parts they would allow Yamaha build in their Vietnam plants. I guessthey wanted to give a leg up to their locally-owned motorcycle businesses there. Niceidea, but it sorta backfired. Yamaha just said “screw it,” and shut down their Vietnamplant, at least for now.

EARTH ORBIT: A biker’s wife is the pilot of the space shuttle Atlantis, at this writing. The crew is headed up to the international space station. Pilot-astronaut Pamela Melroyis the third woman to fly as a space shuttle pilot. Seems she hesitated about herhusband getting a scoot. But listen to what she said:

“I thought to myself, the guy’s an airline pilot flying international and I’m a shuttlepilot. Who am I to tell him it’s not safe enough? To hold either of us back from doingsomething that we’re really excited about, because the other person would be worriedabout you, would just be wrong. We just don’t do it.” Now THERE’S a “top-flight” womanwith the right attitude!

NHTSA:(National Highway Traffic Safety Administration) From these good safetycrats comesthis critical information: “{…on a national level, motorcycle deaths have for the lastfour years been steadily rising. The latest figures show that 3,181 people died inmotorcycle crashes in 2001, up nearly 10 percent from 2000, according to Rae Tyson ofNHTSA in Washington, D.C. It’s fairly obvious to me that some folks don’t take intoaccount that ridership has increased phenomenally in the last several years and many ofthese new riders – some of ’em baby-boomers who are just NOW starting to ride – haveNEVER TAKEN A RIDING COURSE! NHTSA says they are perplexed at the sudden rise and tendto blame it on states that have repealed their helmet laws. Well let me tell them this:If we had BETTER and MORE rider ed, you’d see a big DROP in accidents and death. And aLOT of these new boomer-riders have never ridden a big bike, and that’s what NHTSA’s ownstats say they’re riding. Well, if the last time you rode was on a Honda 350 in 1973 andyou get yourself up on a brand-new Fatboy, you’re just askin’ for it if you don’t get outand get some training. A WHOLE lot has changed in the past 30 years about riding. Ifwe’re all better riders and crash LESS, we can continue to tell NHTSA where to put theirstatistics.

DEHLI, INDIA: So I come across this article from Reuters, and I find out that India’stransportation situation is the same as in a LOT of the poorer but up’n coming countries. In short, they all go nuts for motorcycles! Now, some folks think it’s just because thebuggers can’t afford a car, and that IS part of it. These are countries that are justnow getting invigorated with growth and change — kinda like it was here in the USA, along time ago. Bikes are THE most practical thing a person could buy there! Cheap ongas, but flashy and cool. There are a whole slew of models and wild colors — even frommajor companies like Honda — that we NEVER, ever see here in the US. Sounds great forthem — I’ll stick with my Valkyrie.

GUNNY AGAIN:

Remember that the Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) program is in place to helpriders who have had any sort of mishap on the road. Our A.I.M. Attorneys around thecountry are here for us and they are part of our riding world, so they know of that whichthey speak. You can reach these guys by dialing 1-800-ON-A-BIKE or 1-800-531-2424. Youcan reach Sam Hochberg here in Oregon at 503-224-1106, or toll free at 1-800-347-1106.

Keep the round side on the bottom.
Gunny, Oregon A.I.M. Chief of Staff

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–NEW PARTS, TECH, DEALS AND ART

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HALLOWEEN PHOTO SOURCE–Well, here they are, the Tacoma Chapter ABATE of Washington Halloween party photos. I certainly hope you guys got your high speed cable connection already. If not, let me know and I’ll send fewer per e-mail. I’ll try to get a couple more race shots done, but its late again and I’m still at the office – again.

–Helen

DEAL OF THE WEEK– ’94 Sportster Rolling Chassis/ Clean 883 title, forward controls, wide drags on 4″riser, shiny wirewheels, 21″ up front, PM brake,stretch 4 gal tank, dragger front fend, Corbinrear w/flush brake and licence. Lots of chrome, new pipes, short shocks,newlow profile seat. Only $2500.

–Brad
brad.blair@rapistan.com

TECH TIP OF THE WEEK–We are planning to install an oil cooler on the King, but a reader responded to the suggestion with the following. He recommends a Jagg unit because of the routing of the oil lines on the stock job: Yeah, on the Jagg setup, there are two nipples on the oil filter fittingthat reside under the oil filter when it is in place. The oil lines hook upthere and run toward the front of the bike where they hook up to the Jaggoil cooler ( either the real Jagg horizontal oil cooler or the “Jagg asmarketed by H-D” oil cooler) . Short and sweet!!

If you want to add inthe manual switch to turn off the oil flow to the oil cooler, it fits neatlyin the oil lines between filter adapter and oil cooler….just cut the linesand insert the switch.

Jagg makes another type of oil cooler that hangs outin the wind off the left front frame leg and can be used with the Jagg oilfilter adapter as well, but it just does not look good hanging out therelike that….I prefer the horizontal one installed on the voltage regulatormount instead.

–Plugger

NATIONAL ID CARD COMING–A national Identification card — complete with biometric identifiers, such as fingerprints or retinal scans — is coming. Only it’s not being called that. House Resolution 4633 — the Driver’s License Modernization Act of 2002 — would effectively create a national ID if it’s passed.

“The bill would require each state to adopt a uniform standard for driver’s licenses and link their motor vehicle databases to a central computer registry….It would make use of “encoded biometric data matching the holder of the license or card.”

“In other words, American citizens who have never committed any crime would be subject to fingerprinting (or something similar, such as a retinal scan) and compelled to carry a card with an embedded computer chip containing reams of personal information…

“As Eric Skrum of the National Motorists Association put it recently: “Ultimately, anybody in any state with a card reader would be able to look up your personal driving record, credit rating, Social Security number, health information, personal address, and anything else the government would force you to divulge in order to ‘voluntarily’ obtain a driver’s license.”

“They can call it whatever they want, but the end result will be the same. This bill should be rejected as being incompatible with a free society.”

–from Rogue

BASSANI PRO-STREET–Bar Hoppers, Street Scorchers and just about any Harley rider looking to enhance the performance and appearance of his, or her, machine are going to be hard pressed to find an exhaust system that even comes close to these new PRO-STREET pipes from Bassani. Aggressive “Let’s-get-it-on” styling combined with superior exhaust flow characteristics put the latest from the Bassani works in a class all their own. Offered for Softail, Dyna and Sportster applications, Bassani PRO-STREET pipes feature 16-gauge steel construction with stepped head pipes, rugged, show quality hard chrome finish, slant or straight cut tips and Bassani’s unique tunable/replaceable flow-through baffle system.

PRO-STREET pipes by Bassani retail for $359.00 and are available exclusively from North County Customs. Call 866-439-4287 or catch them on the Web at www.northcountycustoms.com

PERMATEX LOCTITE ARTICLE COMING–John Covington today submitted a tech article on the use of Loctite. We’ll have it posted in the next couple of days. Check out the bikes John builds at SurgicalSteeds.com.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN– Introducing Tom Fritz on his newest Oil painting: “What It Takes”.”Although this is a depiction of a rider in a signature posture, I intentionally chose a vantage point which obscured pertinent details of his act in order to direct focus to the rider himself — all gussied-up in his leather, attitude, and righteous pretensions.””I strove to depict self-assuredness. Confidence. Getting his highs. Making it happen. (While doing all this, the title came from some dusty corner of my noggin during the painting and stuck.) It?s one of a thousand moments on a bike where he is caught, sucked in by his addictions, playing the game, doing it instead of talking about it. – Experiencing a soulful connection between a himself and the machine; a relationship that transcends the motorcycle and is part of my mission – to focus on the grandness of the art of riding and the spirit of it all.”

This original oil painting is 23 x 30 (33 x 41 framed). To date every painting that Tom has painted has sold immediately. The price, framed and shipped, is $21,000. Dealer price is $14,750. First come, first serve! www.segalfineart.com

HALLOWEEN TIDBIT– “I think that’s how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, ‘Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough. Let’s go west.’ ” – Richard Jeni

–from Kris B.

BIKERNET DRAG RACING CORRESPONDENT–Unleashed her new digital camera at the Las Vegas drags recently. Drag racing has a tough time building and obtaining sponsors, but with Screamin’ Eagle they are making some headway.

We’re also looking for a Sponsor for our Drag Racing coverage, so we can continue to send Helen to events.

NEW BIKER NOVEL RELEASED–The author of Hog Fever recently unleased his next book, LIFE, DEATH AND DIVORCE ON THE ROAD TO STURGIS, on all the riders who have experienced a ride to Sturgis while fighting relationship wars. I know Richard La Plante who wrote a series of gruesome crime dramas including Praying Mantis. Christopher Reynolds of the L A Times said, “The result is an offbeat, perplexing book, full of sustained soul searching, unpunished speed limit violations, the occasional raw, true moment and much loving descprition of custom bikes.”You might want to check it out. If you’re looking for Hog Fever, we have a couple of copies for sale in the Bikernet Gulch.

JON TOWLE’S BRUSH STROKES–Jon is creating some new art for the home page. This is just an example of many to come, if he sobers up and his daughter unties him. We’ll keep you posted.

Jon is also building a Sportster from parts donated to the starving artist, by Richard Kransler, Hackasaw, Concrete Pete and Bikernet. When he got it, it was nearly a running mid ’70s Sporty. It’s never run since. We’ll sneak some shots of it soon.

TRICK OR TREAT MOFO–May the night be eery, the moon be full and your chrome reflect the neon of the nightclubs in your area. Speaking of Tricks check that scoot, claiming to be the world’s largest scoot.

I knew there was something more evil to add, but I’m at a loss. Maybe is was the margarita, maybe her costume. Have a helluva Halloween. May it be cool, full or romance, burn-outs, fist fights and hot costumes. Ride Forever.

–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–WILL MY SON EVER LEARN–JOSE’S REPORT

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LOOKING FOR A GOOSENECK FRAME–They’re available on line through Bikernet’s Shopping Gulch in the Chrome Specialties area. Check it out. Part number 170378. Yep, it’s a rigid for $1299.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Yes, I’m back in the tropics but not for long. Next week we will pay a visit to the Bikernet headquarters. It’s something I must do. The promises of my new Porsche, a first class ticket and accommodations on Bandit’s coin is something impossible to refuse, yeap twist my arm. I’m heading to the land of freeways, silicone implants and sick choppers. I hope the chateau San Pedro is ready for us, yes us, the Choppers Inc. masters of disaster will be following closely. I’m sure this will be a story to tell our kids, if we end up having any, but for now, let’s do this, one more week.

As always I received an e-mail of some Bozo, like I say, one out of twenty ain’t that bad. Almost always the Bozo e-mail is the one who makes me think the most, so here we go. Yessir..fully editorial rampage tonight, just because it’s Halloween. To make things short and not give too much importance to the aforementioned individual, the claim was that since I’m from Puerto Rico and did not fight in the second big war, nor was an Angel, I could not be talking about or building choppers because my roots were as far as they can be from all this ??? In other words, most of us can’t talk, nor build, nor say stuff about other bikes since we are not part of those three things. My choice in building motorcycles, riding rigids, or doing whatever I damn please has nothing to do with my homeland, or my war attendance (I was not even remotely born then) or my membership to a club. I sort of understand what he was saying, I lack the background basics for the true chopper hardcore culture. Maybe so, but…

I wonder how many of the people building bikes in this World are really part of that culture, very few is my wild guess, very,very , few. What gives us the right to build choppers, simple and clear as Jamaican sewer water: We want to and we can do it….. So based on this limited intelligent thought, most of the builders or industry people are not qualified to do this job–back to the employment classifieds guys !!!

Anyway, the freedom that we all cherish is the freedom to do as we damn please with our lives. I can bash any Softail, Road King or rubber mount that I please. It’s called freedom of speech buckoo… But you know what, and since we are on this line of thought, sometimes when people read stuff, they should read between the lines. I really don’t give a rats ass what you ride or what you do with your freedom. To some it might be interesting to read other viewpoints, to some the coolest thing in the world is a Road Kill, do you think that because of Bandit buying a Road King that I don’t think is cool or my respect towards him changed, Hell no!!! He has paid more dues than all of us together.

It’s the Biffs and Buffy’s of this ” lifestyle” who I make fun of, the posers, the wannabees, the pretenders. True I was not born into this culture, but at least I don’t put my chaps on every Sunday, get on my brand new factory whatever and pretend to be a Harley encyclopedia, bad ass, road warrior. I live and breath these fucking cycles day in and day out, year after year…. To me it’s not a fashion statement, nor the latest cool thing to do, it’s a way of life, here in Puerto Rico or in Katmandu, and I don’t have to take my newest priced possession to the ” authorized” dealer for a burnt light bulb. I can kick a damn bike and ride with a jockey shift. These are now rarities in our ” culture” I guess we just respect our peers because they don’t pretend to be what they are not, Softail, rubber mount, rigid or not. We like certain bikes because we can. Everyone develops a certain taste for certain stuff. Some like brunettes, others Asians, some like rigid choppers , some like Softails….The beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I would not be caught dead on a HOG ride, and I have absolutely nothing against them. It’s just not my style, not my kind of people. I rather be wrenching on a broken down chopper with friends that ” enjoying” the ultra reliability of the TC (yeah right !!). I rather be getting soaken wet than have a windshield. It’s what I prefer. To me old is cool, less is more, choppers rule, and posers suck.

And now to the news…….

Congratulations to Jesse James and his new bride, they tied the noose last week, we wish them both the best.

Congratulations to Billy Lane and Rumble Customs from Canada the two new Camel Road House builders. Jim Nasi and Jesse James are stepping down from the honors. All I can say is that Billy’s bike is gonna be wicked….Buy as you know, what happens here, what you see here, and what is talked here…..Stays HERE !

I just read Chuck Zito’s new book Street Justice, another cool book, it’s more or less the story of his life and the rules in which he lives it. I think if there was more people like Chuck this would be a better world. It’s worth a read.

Like we said, we are heading to California, the Love Ride and Jesse’s No love Party, it promises to be lots of fun and chock full of mishaps…stay tuned…

The San Juan HOG chapter will have their annual Caribbean Rally Nov 21 to 25th. There’s still spaces available (you can take mine). They will ride around the island, on their latest 100th anniversary bikes, blinding and boring people as they go by…..Don’t miss it. It’s a great ride, plus a good time to try out how loud your drag pipes really are (do not apply if under warranty).

We had a great time at The Horse Chopper Show, we traded sarcasms with Frank Kaisler, the super West Coast operative and Bikernet tech guru. We totally surprised to see Howard Kelly there and had a blast with the usual suspects and misfits of this industry……

Crazyhorse from the Bikernet stable gettin’ crazy at Biketoberfest.

I want to thank everyone who we met at Biketoberfest and only had good things to say about my stuff in Bikernet and the Horse (even if you were lying). It’s really great to hear people actually liking our work. There was also a lot of people talking about me busting Bandit’s balls about the Road kill, thanks for the encouragement….For those who said that you did not like it….go suck an egg (actually there were none).

Issue 28 of The Horse is already out, cool articles and cool photos of the Smoke Out, I believe even Bandit managed to stay in the infernal heat long enough to get his photo taken. Speaking of taken, don’t even think about the Horse Maiden….

Our friend Mike Maldonado is back at it and in full force. Check his stuff out at Heavy Cycle Customs, it’s on the web.

Also our friend the Sheriff from Sweden got back from his trip to Japan, check out this cool site of the people he was hanging out with www.zerochop.com

Paul Cox’s creation.

We had time to meet with Indian Larry and Paul Cox from Gasoline Alley in NYC, we have all seen Indian Larry’s bike, but Paul had a really cool choppa with the fliest girder front end I’ve ever seen.

Keep an eye for our Biketoberfest report, the regulars, like Crazy Horse, Frank and yours truly will bring you a kaleidoscope (did I spell that right?) of reports. A wild variety, besides all the naked chicks at Lollipops…..Coming soon to a web site near you…..

Our web site www.ChopperFreak.com keeps on growing, we already have a bunch of the Biketobermess photos up and running…check them out, if you want and you can.

Well that’s about it for this week. Gotta go hide before the kids with masks come knocking at the door with Uzis and Glocks. I guess now days it’s treat or lead….See ya next week.

PS: Any gripes, praise or gifts please direct them to Bandit@Bikernet.com care of Porsche 911 Carrera fund.

–Jose “Hardly Dangerous prestigious reporter of the day” award winning Caribbean Report.

YANKEE OPENER–Bill and Hillary were at the Yankee’s home opener, sitting in the firstrow, with the Secret Service people directly behind them. One of theSecret Service guys leaned forward and said something to Bill. Clintonstared at the guy, looked at Hillary, looked back at the agent, and shruggedhis shoulders.

Then he picked up Hillary by the coat collar and theseat of her pants, and dropped her right over the wall into the field. She’skicking and swearing and screaming, and the crowd goes wild. They’recheering, applauding, and high-fiving. Bill is bowing and smiling, when theagent leans forward and says: “I said, they want you to throw out thefirst PITCH!”

–from Bob T.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON AUTHORIZED RENTALS & TOURS WELCOMES EAGLERIDER TO TOUR OPERATOR PROGRAMMILWAUKEE Continuing to offer the most exclusive and exhilarating motorcycle tours available, Harley-Davidson Authorized Rentals & Tours announces the addition of tour operator, EagleRider, to their Authorized Tours family. Now motorcyclists have even more options to select from for their next motorcycling adventure.

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BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–MOVIES, RECORDS, NEW MOTORCYCLES AND V-ROD GIVEAWAY

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V-ROD GIVEAWAY TIME!!!–That’s the line at the head of an e-mail I received from California H-D in Lomita. Can’t find anything more on the subject. I’m still looking.

BIKERNET TAHITIAN RUN FOR KIDS–We’re working with T Bear (above) on a bike tour of Tahiti with 20 of our closest friends, to support the island kids’ facilities. Bikernet never does anything using the Biker Book Of Hoil. We’ve got to break rules. So here’s the deal as it stands. We take 20 riders to Tahiti for six days, of island drinks, island hopping, warm pristine waters and island riding. We’ll drag along Bikernet staff, and a handful of well known builders for this week getaway to some of the most beautiful islands in the Pacific.

Stay tuned.

ASPHALT COWBOY MOVIE PROJECT REPORT–The slow process of bringing a biker movie to life plods on. This movie project is based on one of Ball’s book outlines. Here’s recent scriblings from one of the producers:

Happy Halloween to you. We are expecting to speak with Stephen Baldwin this week,as he is back from Hawaii and bound for Montreal to shoot a film for fourweeks. I finally got a signed agreement for Conrad yesterday and now wewill begin creating the Production Board and planning production. It’s anarduous task, but necessary to begin serious discussions with productioncrew, etc.

When we finish with that we will be ready to discuss locationsand hope that we can shoot the begining of the film in San Pedro and useyour garage for one of the scenes, as well. The script needs a majorre-write, which we couldn’t start before contracts were complete and we havehad to have the whole script re-typed, as Conrad had a computer crash and noreadable e-version of the script.

Take care and we will keep you posted,

–Linda and Michael
NELSON MADISON FILMS

DAVIE ALLAN CUTS NEW RECORD–We’re doing a demo cover this weekend and then we’ll start shopping it. I have no label, no agent, no manager…..no representation at all but what I do know is that this is the best damn “Arrows” album ever!!!

Next year marks 40 years since my first recording was released and I never felt the magic before like I do with this new one.

–Davie
davieallan@hotmail.com

NEW JOHN COVINGTON SURGICAL STEED– It’s a Steed Bronco ‘NOglide’. It’s not on the ‘Chassis De jour’ long down tube stretch, more of a Frisco Bobber. New CCI fake knuckle with a 6- speed kicker, tunneled tank, cool 2-1/2″ pipes by me, big 250 tire, OEM H-D Springer with the fender tabs cut off, along with some other interesting ‘chopper’ type stuff.

He just built this for a guy in Denver, and he’s picking it up next week. John asked about a feature in the HORSE. Here’s what he said, “If you think the Horse would be interested, and not put it on their Coon-Tail page, please forward it.

–John Covington
John@surgicalsteeds.com

BIKERNET PARENTAL ADVICE– Have recieved alot af advice from older people.Much was wasted because when I was young I didn’t always listen. Those gemswerewell and good, but the one I remember most.

“Son, Don’t marry a woman with big hands. It makes your dick look smaller.”

–from Rogue

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BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–HALLOWEEN HAUNTS BIKERNET HEADQUARTERS.BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–HALLOWEEN HAUNTS BIKERNET HEADQUARTERS.

I’m not kidding. Someone stuck a rubber snake under my door this morning and I unloaded a snubnosed .38 into the hardwood floor. The blond got out of bed with a smile or her face. It had to be a disquise. As I fumbled through the e-mails and news items I couldn’t dig through Helen Wolfe’s Halloween images to get to anything usefull. I finally threw up my arms and surrendered. The news would become a Halloween party whether I liked it or not.

It was barely noon as a gray layer of clouds force the sun back from So Cal and Sin Wu snuck into the headquarters while the dark haired one went to the post office. I knew the day was lost. Let’s hammer it out, so I can hammer it in:

CUSTOM CHROME ROAD TOUR–

The Custom Chrome and Chrome Specialties Road Tour made it to Orlando Florida. The show is designed for dealers only and a way for the company to show their appreciation.

It started Saturday evening at 7:00pm with dinner and drinks followed by music with Big Mike. There was also a raffle and a lot of prizes given out. A young lady won $300.00. The food was great and the booze plentiful.

Sunday things started at 10:00am with beverages and pastry; there were two bike shows, the company displaying and customers participating by showing theirs, vendors galore and a lot of good deals. Noon to 2:00pm fed us again. Damm I?m starting to like these guys more and more.

Well I for one had a Great Time and so did the people I was with.

–ROGUE

HONORING THE HARLEY-DAVIDSON 100TH ANNIVERSARY, SANTA FILLS SLEIGH WITH COMMEMORATIVE, WINTER AND HOLIDAY MOTORCLOTHES ITEMS–MILWAUKEE – Santa has seen many holiday seasons come and go, but this one is sure to be special with the Harley-Davidson? 100th Anniversary right around the corner. “Good enthusiasts” will hope to find commemorative and seasonal Harley-Davidson? MotorClothes? items under their tree.

Elves, enthusiasts and collectors alike will be anxious to get their hands on H-D 100th Anniversary items. The limited edition 100th Anniversary Pewter Replica Set (Part: 97959-03V, MSRP: $395) which includes six hand-carved 2003 pewter motorcycle models cast in fine pewter, is sure to be on the walls of enthusiasts’ homes. The models are individually numbered, made exclusively for H-D and limited to 2003 pieces. Just like H-D motorcycles, this set is made in the U.S.A. A wooden display cabinet featuring the 100th Anniversary logo and a certificate of authenticity come with the pewter set. Featuring the special 100th Anniversary logo, the 100th Anniversary Aluminum Plate (Part: 97973-03V, MSRP: $100) which is individually produced through an ancient process known as sand-casting is great for holiday entertaining and is sure to be a great memento of the H-D centennial. Gather family and friends to toast H-D’s big birthday in style with the limited edition 100th Anniversary Wine Glasses (Part: 97952-03V, MSRP: $35). They come in sets of two and include a collectable commemorative box.

Like jingle bells on reindeer, the sterling silver 100th Anniversary Riding Bell (Part: 97957-03V, MSRP: $45) is an excellent accessory for motorcycles. In addition to adding 100th Anniversary spirit to the bike, the riding bell will also add good luck to future adventures. The 100th Anniversary Medallion Belt Buckle (Part: 97671-03V, MSRP: $35) is the perfect match to a red suit or anything else enthusiasts wear. This belt will stand the test of time thanks to the back hinge that is built for years of wear. The belt fits all H-D belt straps.

Grab a cup of eggnog and get the full story by reading “100 Years of Harley-Davidson” by Willie G. Davidson (Part: 97997-03V, MSRP: $65). The book is a celebration of H-D’s history and the style, ingenuity and freedom it stands for. It contains never-before-published photos and illustrations, as well as personal anecdotes and styling comments by Willie G. Davidson, H-D’s vice president of styling.

Speaking of Christmas. Here’s a little something for really bad kids.

BLONDE REVENGE–* Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? It matches their mustache.

* What’s black, blue, and brown and lying in a ditch? A brunette who’s told too many blonde jokes.

* What’s the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? No one else wants it!

* What do brunettes miss most about a great party? The invitation.

* Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? So brunettes can remember them.

* What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes? Invisible.

* What’s a brunette’s mating call? Has the blonde left yet?”

* What do you call a good looking man with a brunette? A hostage

* Who makes bras for brunettes? Fisher-Price

–from Rogue

OPEN HOUSE FOR NEW SHOP–Jim Stultz was the man behind custom creations at Dallas Easyriders, but you know how sensitive artists are. They need their own way to blossom and Show what they are capable of. Here’s one of his project bikes.

Roll over to his shop and check theHOOTERS GIRLS,DJ,FREE DRINKS AND FOOD*,RIDE-IN BIKE CONTEST, andHOURLY PRIZE DRAWINGS.

Saturday, November 2, 2002
11:00AM to 5:00PM
3712 Dividend Drive, Garland, Texas

Vendors welcome. Contact Robert at (972) 276-2200.

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BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–HELL, I DON’T KNOW, LET’S RIDE

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NEWS FROM THE AIM CONNECTION, OR GUNNY SACK–TOKYO, JAPAN: Government is stickin’ it’s paws where they shouldn’t be again, this timein Vietnam, and it’s about motorcycles. In September, their government put a cap on howmany bikes and bike parts they would allow Yamaha build in their Vietnam plants. I guessthey wanted to give a leg up to their locally-owned motorcycle businesses there. Niceidea, but it sorta backfired. Yamaha just said “screw it,” and shut down their Vietnamplant, at least for now.

EARTH ORBIT: A biker’s wife is the pilot of the space shuttle Atlantis, at this writing. The crew is headed up to the international space station. Pilot-astronaut Pamela Melroyis the third woman to fly as a space shuttle pilot. Seems she hesitated about herhusband getting a scoot. But listen to what she said:

“I thought to myself, the guy’s an airline pilot flying international and I’m a shuttlepilot. Who am I to tell him it’s not safe enough? To hold either of us back from doingsomething that we’re really excited about, because the other person would be worriedabout you, would just be wrong. We just don’t do it.” Now THERE’S a “top-flight” womanwith the right attitude!

–from the Gunny Sac

BMW Z4 ROADSTER–
Performance – In the Z4, BMW engineers set new standards forroadster performance. An evolved version of BMW’s acclaimed multi-link rearsuspension mated to an extraordinarily rigid chassis results innear-telepathic handling.

Now what’s this got to do with a motorcycle website? Nothin’ exceptthat BMW produced a series of short films for some of their new cars, andbecause of the Z4, Bikernet staffer, Layla made a little moola. Last August a location scoutwanting to look at her house for this BMW promotion, approached her. He tookpictures of the old California Bungalow style home and left. She didn’tgive it any more thought cause this sort of thing happened to her all thetime. The next day however she was bombarded with set decorators,directors, producers, and informed that they were going to use her house, ifshe agreed. Hell yes!

Go to www.bmwfilms.com and click on the USA part of the map. The movie iscalled “Hostage”, and it’s a little trouble downloading the clip, but wellworth it. John Woo was the director and he did a hell of job. Here’s acouple of shots Layla and her kids took with their digital camera.

Layla’s kids & John Woo

Bikernet Caribbean Report–This is going to be pretty short, since we are not back yet, and the wholeBiketobermess story is going to take some time. As always, we had a greattime . We ended up meeting most of the people we intended to, and thensome. There’s so much good news and stuff going on, that you would notbelieve it. Let’s start by congratulating Billy Lane on his Camel Roadhousenomination, and Jesse James who tied the noose. Jesse and Jim Nassi willnot be with Camel next year. We spent some time with our friends from TheHorse, and their chopper show at Will’s pretty cool, around 80 bikesparticipated on the show. And way more than that showed up to the event andthen partied on later into the night.

It’s was weird to see people wearing our Chopper Freak shirts and walkingaround, which is great for us. We got to visit Choppers Inc and see what’sgoing on, but that will be something I’ll save for later. Seems like Billyis way too busy right now…and a lot of good things are happening to him…Another cool thing was that it seemed to be less people crowding thestreets, but still the Biff and Buffy crap went on, badder than bad, andmanners out the door…I guess some people need to learn that a $40,000piece of crap does not give you the right to be rude, that’s cool though,I’ll still be riding when Biff’s stocks plummet and he becomes a man whore.

Man there’s so much going on…let me see, Aha ! Frank Kaisler, we had agreat time trading sarcasms and looking at bikes, I tell ya’ the cat iscool, and if I say so….Sorry HRB and HB your loss….I could make a list of the people we ended up hanging out with, but I don’twant to sound ….Hell what do I care !! No one likes us anyway, they hangout with us because we bring Puertorican rum with us….Anyway, I’ll do theextensive Biketobermess report next week with photos and all. Way beforeCrazy Horse does hers…..Oh well…I know this report looks like a clusterfuck, but hey ! Gotta go, The Stones play in a couple hours and we gottaget there…

Later

Jose, still at large in the State of Florida…Bikernet report

ANSWERING MACHINE AT MENTAL HEALTH FACILITY–Answering Machine at Mental Health Hospital “Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline……” If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on theline so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to themother ship.?? If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell youwhich number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, noone will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.?? If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until arepresentative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephonenumber, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y andc-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep orbefore the beep or during the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memoryloss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy totalk to you. If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down & cry. You won’tbe crazy forever.

If you are blonde don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up!

–from Bob T.

HA LEATHER IN THE GULCH–With winter approaching it’s time topull out those leathers and shake out the moths. Maybe you’ve gained a fewpounds over the summer or maybe you’re just tired of the style you’ve beenwearing. If this is the case, take a look inside the Gulch at HA Leathers.Little Joe makes some of the finest leather jackets, vests and Lambskin shirtsin the USA, for men and women. That’s all I’m gonna say about it, see foryourself.

Not the girl, the vest!

TURN THE “CLOSED” SIGN ON–Let’s hit it to the garage, the bar, something happening or to her pad. With all the terrorism bullshit lingering about, we’ve decided to enhance the Bikernet Headquarters security system. Bob T. from the desert recommended the following:

We’re considering his private security team. Hell, they eat rodents and we have an abundance in the dungeon, I mean basement.

Back to the subject at hand. Well not exactly in hand just yet, but the touch of a woman is generally just a quick throttle-snap away or closer. I don’t know about you, but I love women, their tenderness, their touch, the curve of a soft neck or the jiggle of a breast pushing against the smooth texture of a sweater. Motorcycles and romance is where it’s at. Sometimes the action is hot and heavy and sometimes it mellows to a dull roar. That’s when I get edgy and need to ride fast or find the passion once more. Let’s see what happens next week. Ride Forever,

–Bandit