I spent all damn day working on the NEWS then can’t come up with a title. Maybe it was the martial arts class I attended yesterday that kicked my ass. We studied grappling which isn’t my favorite. I’m feeling the bruises today. We better get to the News before I forget anything else, break down and head to the Jack Daniels cupboard.

Before we do, I want to send a brief tribute to Randy Smith, one of the old school legends in the custom industry. He passed away this week of natural causes at 70. There will be an intimate memorial event at Westminister (CA), Harley on Sunday at 1:00 p.m.

He was a character and the creator behind Custom Cycle Engineering. He built custom motorcycles for over 40 years. I’ll miss him. Let’s get to it:

The Enthusiast By, David Uhl

100th ANNIVERSARY LICENSED PAINTINGS FROM H-D–David Uhl’s characteristic vintage paintings have become icons in the Harley-Davidson world. Admirers have witnessed his uncanny ability in images such as “Ruby” and “A Change in the Weather”. Collectors have come to expect the bordering on perfection techniques so prevalent in David’s style of art. Along with the accolades comes a deep sense of responsibility and respect that Mr. Uhl feels toward the subject matter. “Depicting Harley-Davidson motorcycles and staying true to the archival research is something I am very passionate about”, states Mr. Uhl, “It amazes me to consider the rich history and impact that Harley-Davidson has had on virtually every American citizen for the last century. I am very honored to be a small part of this legacy.”

This is just one of David’s works available at motorcycleart.com along with several 100th anniversary paintings.

OZARK ED REPORT–Thank god it is finally Friday. I am so far behind in my insurance whoreing around (my job) because I have spent so much time and effort on the little honey. I knew she had classes all day yesterday and I was going to bust it to get caught up. I just had one little thing to do first, call Philips girl at Rodney’s and see if my taillight bezel came in. She answered the phone and said “hey can you hold?”.

I bitched and she said “here talk to juvee girl” and the next thing I knew i was making plans to blow off work and go riding with her. Dammit, seems she worked a deal out with some goob at school to get his notes and she only has to go for the exams. Gotta love that. So anyway it’s Friday and I know she has to work all day so I’m going to bust it today.

Just got one little thing to do first.

–Ozark Ed

FRANK KAISLER JOINS BIKERNET–With his vast technical expertise. Frank is already at work on a LePera tech on their new seat material, this rear wheel spacer tech for Avon and the series on the new Road King modifications. Our goal it to bring solid, workable and complete techs to help our readers build and modify their bikes any damn way they please.With the vast number of frame and wheel combinations, wheel spacing is critical. Here’s a taste of his tech on making wheel spacers. The entire tech will be posted sometime today. Enjoy.

“Wheel spacing is an important part of any ground-up bike building project.It also must be addressed when customizing an existing bike.With the vast selection of frames and wheels available today, there is noway any manufacturer can fit every different wheel combo to their frame andprovide exact fitting wheel spacers.”

OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCEMENT– The government announced today that it is changing it’s emblem to a condombecause it more clearly reflects the government’s political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, haltsproduction, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actuallygetting screwed.

–from Chris T.

BIKERNET STICKERS AVAILABLE FREE–That’s right. Just send me a self addressed stamped envelope and I’ll send you some stickers. They’re bitchin’. Send the envelope to Bikernet, P.O. 1168, San Pedro, California 90731.

EXCELSIOR-HENDERSON HELP LINE–I am the owner of E-H bikes, and was wondering , whether or not the bike got into the magazine???? I have an X aminer and would assist w/ any issues that arise ..,. free of charge. I also have a set of tools should adjustments be necessary, ie. front end, or otherwise I am not a mechanic, but wanno offer whatever assistance to the current owners of these bikes!!!!

as always Keep the Faith!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

–Gentle Jay
jfarina3@nycap.rr.com

BIKERNET INTERVIEWS GOD FOR THE TRUTH–And God created woman, and she had 3 breasts. He then asked the woman, “Is there anything you’d like to have changed?”

She replied, “Yes, could get rid of this middle breast?” And so it was done, and it was good. Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding the third breast in her hand, “What can be done with this useless boob?”

And God created man.

–from Katmandu

FOOT CLUTCH CATCH UPDATE– Thanks for posting the news article on the jockey latch. I’ve beengetting lots of positive responses to it. I just received thenew billet unit back from the chrome plater and it looks awesome. The new one has alot more style and blows away the top line forwardcontrols on the market today.

The next item being designed is theshifter handle. I will be able to offer a complete jockey shift system.

So far it is made for the early V-twins but I plan on making differentversions for different model bikes. This is the early stages of a wholenew line of custom products for American bikes. I’m open to any ideas forproducts that I can manufacture and market.

I will be heading to Daytonathis weekend and have a meeting scheduled with a couple different partssuppliers. Im trying to get an idea of how many units to manufacture onthe first round. This will determine the price. Once again, thanks verymuch for the article and showing interest in my design.

–Bob
hunterlsl@earthlink.net

JOB OF THE WEEK– A young Puerto Rican man walked into the local welfare office, marchedstraight up to the counter and said, “a mon, I lookin’ fohr a job.”.

The man behind the counter replied, “Your timing is amazing. We’ve justgot a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You’ll have todrive around in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of thisjob, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. Thesalary package is $200,000 a year.”

The Puerto Rican said, “Ah c’mon, you’re bullshitting me!”.

The man behind the counter said, “Well, you started it!”

–from Chris T.

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BIKERNET CHARITY REPORT–TAHITI ESCAPE–Bikernet and T-Bear are working on a Bikernet Getaway to support the island kids of Tahiti and may be able to give a trip away to a couple of readers of Bikernet. Unfortunately you’ll have to fly with Bandit and Sin Wu. Here’s an update from T-Bear:”Thursday afternoon, as the rest of the world is impatiently waiting for the weekend, I’ll be winging my way back to Papeete to hook up with my buddies in the Tahiti Harley Riders Club. After their first visit to Sturgis with me back in August, they insisted that I let them return the hospitality and fly me backto Tahiti to visit with them again. How could I say no to friends?”

“Last trip was so memorable I feel like I never left. We hung out together on their big island of Tahiti and ventured over to Moorea in search of the perfect Tahitian Tattoo for me. This trip should prove a bit more adventurous. We’ll be hitting a few more islands. First Tahiti and Tahiti Iti ( small Tahiti) then off to Huahine for the start of the Hawaikinui Va’a, The worlds greatest inter-island outrigger canoe regatta. Then to Bora Bora for the races end and the biggest beach bash in history. Back to Tahiti for some riding and back to Moorea for another tattoo for my collection.” “Not to shirk my over-developed charity effort, I’ll also be meeting with the good folks at Air Tahiti Nui and the Sofitel Hotel chain to put together a sweet deal for you folks to head on over to paradise as well. We’re gonna try and put together a deal that you can’t say no to. “Bikers For Tahiti”. We’re working hard to make it possible for you for about the same price you’d pay to go to Laconia, Sturgis or Daytona. I’ll have some more news when I get back in a few weeks so stay tuned and don’t put away that sunblock yet.

Nana,
–TBear

BIKERNET BOOB DESIGNATIONS– Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used todefine bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stoodfor…it is about time you became informed!

{A} – Almost Boobs…
{B} – Barely there.
{C} – Can’t Complain!
{D} – Damn!
{DD} – Double damn!!
{E} – Enormous!
{F} – Fake

THE OZARK BLUES–Damn it’s cold. This is my least favorite time of the year, because I knowwinter’s coming. There will be a lot of nice riding days before it is toocold, but still, it ain’t summer. I’ll just find a warm spot to entertain mygirl for a few months and hope it goes fast.

Nothing exciting is happeningright now, except for the juvee girl, and the thrill is fading on that. Don’tget me wrong, I still like to see her and all but the chase is over. I canhave her anytime I want, so now it’s just young, cute pussy. Not that it’sbad, but I love the hunt. It’s just a matter of time till she’s on my nerves.I need something new and exciting in my life. You know, something just out ofreach. It’ll happen. I’m just not very patient and I get ants in my pantswhen it’s boring. I guess I’m just too hard to satisfy.

Most guys would killto have the two girls I have and I’m sick of them. I might be just plain oldsick, but I think I deserve my life.

–Ozark Ed

BIKERNET DEAL OF THE WEEK–Yes I’m back to torture you with the ever so popular ——CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN. Only 82 days left until the end of chaos. Unless you count New Years as chaos, but we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about THE BIKERNET GULCH. At the bottom of every page here in Bikernet you’ll see the Gulch with tiny-little buildings that guide you to easy Christmas gift giving, or any reason gift giving. Clothes, books, artwork, leather, the whole damn CSI Catalog is there to make your life a little easier.

Here’s all of the prints from Chris Kallas. Priced to sell and all in stock. How easy is that?

Joker shirts, hat’s, and not mention the cute stuff they have for women. Ooo la la!

The finest leather in my opinion – from HA Leather. It won’t hurt to take a look!

Cool shit from Crime Inc. If you’ve got teenagers, they love this stuff. Take a look at the Escapee Sweatshirts, these mitts will keep your hands warmer while riding.

I’m done. I decided to give you a break last week, well, fact is I was lazy and didn’t want to it. But today I feel great and next week I will again.

Till then my much-appreciated Bikernet readers, I say good-bye.

Sin

BIKERNET SPORTS REPORT–Four men went golfing one day. Once on the course, three of them headedto the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouseto take care of the bill.

The three men started talking, bragging about theirsons. The first man told the others, “My son is ahomebuilder and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free.”

The second man said, “My son was a car salesman andnow he owns a multi-line dealership. He’s so successful that he gave a friend anew Mercedes,all the extras.”

The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, “Myson is stockbroker and he’s doing so well that he gave his friend anentire stock portfolio.”

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a fewminutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, “We are justtalking about our sons.

How is yours doing?”

The fourth man replied, “Well, my son is gay anddances in a gay bar.”

The three friends looked down at the grass andsmirked.

The fourth man carried on, “Admittedly I’m not totallythrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing pretty good. Hislast three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stockportfolio.

–from Dean Shawler, Editor, Biker

NIPPLE BLOSSOM FESTIVAL STARTING POINT–Freds Speed & Sport
847 S Burlington Ave
Hastings, NE 68901
402-462-4436

BIKERNET QUOTE OF THE WEEK–“My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat.

I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’ ” – Paula Poundstone

THAT’S IT–Watch next week for some fantastic reports and techs. We’ll have the King 3 tech where we began to black out the monster. We’ll follow it with King 4 and lowered shocks and touring tricks later in the week. In another week or so we’ll dig back into the Amazing Shrunken FXR.

I’m planning a short ride to Arizona hopefully this month to visit the Kennedy’s. Watch, we’ll have a report on their new digs coming up. Watch next week for a feature on model Harleys that will blow your mind. Even a Vietnam Vets memorial run with heartfelt words from Nasty.

Tonight it’s a trip to Beverly Hills to attend an Exceptional Childrens Foundation dinner. This in the charity that the Beach Ride supports. In the next couple of weeks we’ll post a tribute to the three charities Bikernet supports and they all involve kids. I gotta hit the showers. Ride Forever.

–Bandit

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BIKERNET FAMILY COUNSELING–One night as the biker couple laid down for bed. Bear was feelin’ prettyfrisky and gently tapped his ol’lady’s shoulder, movin’a little closer to heron the bed. She rolled over and looked him in the eyes, explaining sweetly, “I’msorry hon, but I have a gynecologist exam first thing in the morning and Iwanna stay, well,fresh, and she rolls back over.”

After a few minutes, Bear rolls over and taps the ol’lady’s arm once again.This time he grumbled in her ear, a bit less sweetly, “Ya don’t have a dentistappointment,too,do ya?”

BILLY LANE INTERVIEW COMING TO BIKERNET–Yes, Jose, the Bikernet Caribbean reporter interviewed Billy Lane. The first segment of the interview will by launched in the next couple of days. Watch for it. Here’s a glimpse:

Jose: What do you like to do that is not related to bikes ?

BL:Besides bikes, I like to surf and work out. I could give up bikes and surf for the rest of my life…and I really love bikes…

WOMEN IN THE WIND–NEW BOOK COMING–Sasha Mullins is at her computer night and day to write a book that will make women applaud, men cry and the world become a more peaceful place. If you know a woman rider who deserves to be apart of this renowned literary achievement, don’t hesitate to contact Sasha at sasha@bikerlady.com.

BIKETOBERFEST DIGS FOR RENT–

BIKETOBERFEST CONDO
10-12-02 / 10-19-02
MINUTES FROM MAIN ST
OCEAN VIEWS – ALL COMFORTS OF HOME
JUST BRING YOUR BRO’S AND CLOTHES
TRADE FOR DEAD-WOOD
ALSO HAVE BIKE WEEK CONDOS
EMAIL schrauger2@juno.com

–from Thomas Conely

BILLY JACK CONNECTION FROM SEDONA, ARIZONA– Did you ever get into the Billy Jack movies? Production values werepretty bad, lumbering plots and bad acting but they had charisma, a specialkind of appeal and message that produced a cult following. Tom Laughlin, whowrote, directed, produced and starred in them was, and is, a prettyinteresting character and was the Hollywood anti-hero, anti-sell-out. A realfree spirit.

He ran for president and made it as far as the democraticprimary ticket but his campaign fizzled after the NH primary. Anyway, check out www.billyjack.com

–from Josh Placa, Editor, Cruising Rider

H-D 100TH ANNIVERSARY CATALOG–As many of you already know, HD’s 100th Anniversary Catalogue has hit the retail public. 300,000 of these beautiful color catalogues were sent to enthusiasts.

One of the divider pages announces the release of the paintings by Jacobs, Fritz and Uhl with full color images and retail pricing ($1250) in lithographic form. These works are smaller than the Phase one canvases and are an edition of 1200 worldwide. Each work is hand-signed by the artist and numbered with a certificate of authenticity accompanying.

Included is upscale custom framing with the 100th Anniversary emblem proudly displayed in the lower portion of the frame matting. All three works are available for immediate shipping to dealerships. Soon we will offer a beautiful display for each store so stay tuned. Cheers!

— Ron Copple
www.segalfineart.com

SMOKE-OUT COIN COLLECTABLE–Coins are still available from Smoke Out III. This was a new addition tothis years event and the first year commemorative coins were offered at aSmoke Out.

The coin features artwork by Jon Towle and design by CJ Allen.This is a tradition that will continue and coins minted from the first yearshould be collector’s items. Prices have been reduced to $5, plus $2 shippingand handling regardless of the number of coins ordered (Two coins is $ 12).

Ninety-nine serial numbered coins were minted in silver (1 troy oz. silver)primarily for the staff. Very limited serial numbered solid silver coins areavailable for $ 20 per coin (plus shipping).

Coins can be ordered on thewebsite www.TheHorseMag.com. To order by phone (803) 269-9699 or send checkto Flat Black, Inc, 2000 Clemson Rd., PMB # 142, Columbia, SC 29229.

HORSE RAFFLE BIKE–Help a Good Cause and Maybe Win an Awesome Brand New Chop! Drawing will beheld in Daytona at Will’s Honky-Tonk during the Spring Daytona Bike Week 2003.

It’s the The Smoke-Out-Chop-Project-Bike. Frame and construction by Magnum Cycles, 74cubes , J&E Pistons, S&S cylinders and carb, Buell Thunderstorm headsspinning a Dunlop 150, Bassani Exhaust, custom paint by Crazy Horse Paintingand Custom Chrome parts. Watch for a complete feature in the next issue of HORSE.

Proceeds will support Camp Air Care where kids with asthma get to have anormal camp experience with tents and canoes.

Raffle tickets are $5.00 eachor 5 for $20 can be purchased on the website www.TheHorseMag.com. To order byphone (803) 269-9699 or send check to Flat Black, Inc, 2000 Clemson Rd., PMB# 142, Columbia, SC 29229. We need name, address and phone to notify thewinner!

GYPSY’S DIVORCE–As of 10-02-02 at 2:10pm my divorce was finial.Name change: Gypsy Laura Brokenwings.I added the Laura this time because mom and dad can’t get use to the Gypsy end of it.When I think of how the name came about and the period of time it took to end up with it, I’m ammazed I’m still around,LOL!

Bandit..thanks for the “Gypsy” end of it..that was about 24 years ago!!! Man where does time go?

The Brokenwings..came from Vic giving me his vest with the brokenwings on it. He and a few others who knew him said I deserved it more than he did.

The Laura end..well mom and dad were responsible for that. So see I AM a true heinz 57!

Numerology wise it fits me. Sooo once more I am happy and free. Let’s hope I learned enough from this one to never end up in that mess again!

–Gypsy

BIKERNET DRINKING ADVICE–Two buddies, Ralph and Bob, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Bob throws up all over himself. “Oh, no. Now Jane will kill me!”

Ralph says, “Don’t worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket, tell Jane that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill.”

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually Bob rolls into home and his wife Jane starts to give him a bad time. “You reek of alcohol and you’ve puked all over yourself! My God, you’re disgusting!”

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, Bob says, “Now wain aminit, I can e’splain everything! Itsh not what you think. I only had a couple drinks. But this other guy got sick on me … he’d had one too many and he just couldn’t hold his liquor. He said he was very sorry an’ gave me twenty bucks for the cleaning bill!”

Jane looks in the breast pocket and says, “But this is forty bucks.”

Oh, yeah…I almos’ forgot, he shit in my pants, too

–from Chris T.

CANTINA GIVEAWAY WINNERS!–As you know, each week we’re suppose to choose a winner from our Cantina Contest. Sometimes we snooze but hey, we’re only human. To make up for this, we’ve chosen two winners for this week and here they are:

Bruce Wiswell
From McKinney, Tx
he wanted a pair of sunglasses and that’s what he’ll get.

Harold Flick
From Hemet. Ca
He wanted: 1:18 Harley Models Harley Knives, Harley Signs, XXXL T-Shirts, Leather, Pins, Belt Buckles
He gets a Harley sign and an XXXL Bikernet T-shirt.

Not only do you get to participate in this cool contest, you also get a Babe a Day, Vintage Motorcycles, Digital Discoveries with things you won’t see anywhere else, plus lots more.

K. Randall Ball, the author of “Outlaw Justice”, “Prize Possession” and Sam “Chopper” Orwell has all three books in their entirety for you to print in the Cantina. Hell, Outlaw Justice and Prize Possession are sold out. You can’t even buy these anymore.

Join now and help support Bikernet.com. Because the Cantina is strictly subscription you won’t see any advertisement in there. What are you waiting for? JOIN NOW!

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Willie G’s new book available on line.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON.COM REDESIGNS WEB SITE AND OFFERS FREE GIFT–MILWAUKEE, WI (Oct. 2, 2002) – With the holiday season just around the corner, Harley-Davidson is celebrating the relaunch of the MotorClothes Merchandise and Genuine Motor Accessories sections of the Harley-Davidson.com Web site. The online catalogs were redesigned to include new navigation features, an enhanced search function and loads of great new accessories and apparel.

New navigation in the online Genuine Motor Accessories catalog makes it easy for customers to find specific products for their Harley-Davidson motorcycle. The new design enables customers to search by year and model and create a catalog of accessories just for their motorcycle model. Customers can also search among more than 4,500 Genuine Motor Accessories by model family or enter a specific part number or product name. The MotorClothes Merchandise online catalog was also redesigned to help customers quickly navigate the selection of riding apparel, accessories and gifts.

?Customers can view a complete selection online, from year-round riding gear and accessories to limited-edition 100th Anniversary merchandise,?said Jeanne Winiarski, E-Commerce Operations Manager for Harley-Davidson Motor Company. ?Customers have two ways to shop. They can browse the limited edition items and create a wish list to take to their local dealer and they can purchase a selection of riding gear, accessories and collectibles on line from the convenience of their home or office.?

To celebrate the catalog redesign, customers can receive a Harley-Davidson Clean & Shine Travel Kit with any online purchase of $75 or more from participating E-Commerce Dealers while supplies last. The kit includes Harley Gloss Quick Detailer, Sunwash, Wheel & Tire Cleaner and a full-size Soft Drying Towel. The Clean & Shine Travel Kit makes a great gift and easily fits into your saddlebag for a quick touch up after a long day on the road.

For more information on Harley-Davidson Genuine Motor Accessories and MotorClothes Merchandise, visit the Web site at www.harley-davidson.com. To locate a dealer near you, check out the Dealer Locator on our Web site or call 1-800-443-2153 in the USA or Canada.

OZARK ED ON CARS AND UGLY BIKES–I can’t believe it, but the deal is done. I went to the GM dealer yesterday afternoon and gave them my piece of shit Monte Carlo and they gave me a check. I took the check and got my girls new car, paid cash for it, and took home almost 800 bucks. Dammit.

Anyway, my oldest daughter’s husband bought him an old Goldwing for $400. He’s 19 and doesn’t have a pot to piss in, but they are having a good time. He brought it over to my house and asked me what I thought. I told him it was the ugliest bike I had ever seen. We spent all night chopping ugly plastic shit off of it. We have it down to something that I wouldn’t be ashamed of if I was as broke as him. It reminds me of what I used to do when I was a teenager. I had some ugly ass bikes, too. iItold him to just strip it down to something that looks like it isn’t safe to ride, and keep up.

He’ll take a lot of shit over this thing with my buddies, but he’ll appreciate it when he gets a nicer bike later in life. The weather is so nice right now, riding is heaven.

–Ozark Ed

THE KING REPORT–Next week we will post the first of a series of techs on a 2003 Road King Classic that is being modified predominately with Harley-Davidson parts in the Bikernet Garage. The only part we needed that wasn’t an H-D or Screamin’ Eagle component was high-enough Ape Hangers. That aside, all the parts will come from the factory and be installed by the Bikernet Staff or a dealer crew who can do a better job.

Features will also be published in American Rider. In fact the first feature on knowing a Road King should be on the streets soon. The American Rider articles are destined for new riders seeking knowledge and ability with their Kings.

THREE WISHES–There’s this Arab walking through the desert,his camel dies and he’s thirsty. All at once, he comesacross an old lamp, gives it a rub and out pops a genie.

“You know the score, three wishes.” says the genie

“I want to be in a lush oasis with a cool pint of lager”

POOF! – lo and behold, he’s in an oasis.

“Secondly, I want to be so rich it’s rude.”

POOF! – lo and behold, he’s surrounded by money and treasurechests full of jewelery and rare coins.

“Thirdly, I wish I was white and surrounded by beautiful women.”

POOF! – he’s turned into a tampon!

Moral of the Story: Be careful what you wish for,there may be a string attached.

–from Nuttboy

THE CANTINA REPORT–One of the bonuses of being a member of Bandit’s Cantina is the Digital Discovery area. We post material in that slot that few people have seen, or techs unheard of by the common man. Most recently, through the efforts of a well respected, old school Bikernet contributor, Bob T., we have dug up a complete selection of old Biker Movie Posters. Here’s just one example.

Rumor had it that Bob, who rode with Bandit in the early ’70s, and now lives in the California desert, discovered this collection under the fin of a buried ’59 Cadillac in hot sand.

Next, may be the first of Bikernet’s own movie posters for Bandit’s Asphalt Cowboy. Watch for it. Join the Cantina and support all of Bikernet.

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BIKERNET TESTIMONIAL–Here it is, a picture of my bike. Thanks again for all your help. Never could have done it without you.

–ShovelFXWG82

BIKERNET NURSING HOME NEWS– I passed by the nursing home & there were six old ladies lying naked on the front grass. I thought this was a little peculiar, but continued on my way because it’s a long walk & I wanted to get it over with before it got truly hot again today.

On my way back, the ladies were still lying in the yard & to quench my curiosity, I went inside & asked to speak to the director of the facility.

When I asked him if he knew there were six naked old ladies lying on his front lawn, he replied, “Yes, I know. They’re retired prostitutes & they’re having a yard sale

–from Carlr

TOURING CHOPPER REACHES NEW HOME–My brother and I were there when the Goldrush truck arrived at PropaintBaltimore. Larry has not put in the new solid lifters yet. Therewas an annual open house the next day at the York, PA, Harley Factory andI wanted to ride up. We decided to ride it and look for any thing thanneed to be addressed. He checked the bike over and gave us a thumbs up.My brother rode it home from Baltimore. I wanted to look at it and takepictures more than ride. The bike is beautiful. The lines and stance aregreat.

–Garth

BIKERNET DEER REPORT–Since I smacked a deer in Wyoming, I’ve found out that deer are the most dangerous animals to the human race in the US. Beware. Guys who make pickup truck hauls on rural highways run cattle catchers on a regular basis. Deer whistles are no joke. Don’t ride at night on dark highways. Here’s another example:

“The story, as I understand it, was that the deer jumped off theHwy 101 bridge over 394 in Wayzata (it was apparently scared by a car that drove by as it was walking over the bridge). The Durango was drivingunder the bridge when it was hit by the falling deer.

–from Chris T.

JON JUNIMAN REPORT–In light of your comments in the Sunday post, I have decided to revisethat paragraph of the Blue Ridge story. How’s this:

“A bee hovers in front of me, smelling my leather jacket. I draw myRuger .44 Magnum and gun down four innocent bystanders for noreason at all. That Bee pissed me off.

“Bone splinters mixed with little gobs of meat are drippingdown car windshields and storefront windows to form sticky red pools in thegutter. The little fucker takes the hint and flies away to go smellsomebody else.”

Better?

–Rev. J.

SANDBLASTING REPORT IN CANTINA–We have an antique section in Bandit’s Cantina and now there’s a new tech on Sandblasting and Chemical stripping.

BANDIT’S SIFU REPORT–Dick Bondano the master of the IMB Academy is Bandit’s trainer. He was recently inducted into the Martial Arts Hall Of Fame and here’s his latest recognition:Martialinfo.com is proud to announce that the IMB Academy has been selectedas School of the Month and is currently featured in the October edition ofMartial Arts On Line Magazine.

Congratulations on this honor. You can find the link provided here:http://www.martialinfo.com/OnlineMag/asp/view.asp?issue=42

–Michael Matsuda
Martialinfo.com

Can you figure out where the hell this event is?

HIS PRISON SENTENCE– A woman awakes during the night, and discovers her husband isn’t in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting atthe kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be indeep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

What’s the matter, dear?” she asks. “Why are you down here at this timeof night?”

The husband looks up from his coffee, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, andyou were only 16?” he asks solemnly.

“Yes, I do,” she replies. “Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of car making love?”

“Yes, I remember,” says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues, “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for 20 years?”

” I remember that, too, ” she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, “I would have gotten out today.”

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Ok, seems like we all have been glued to our TV sets this weekend. We had a marathon of Discovery Channel of bike shows, from good to bad, to worst. And of course and as expected I will give my opinion of all of them. No bashing intended, just my sincere opinion. Let’s put it this way, every show had some positive things and some negative, like always we all end up winners since the mere mortals can experience more and more the motorcycle lifestyle and what it takes to actually put one of those cool bikes together. Here we go…

Biker Build off, very cool show, the best of them, not because we were there (me and friends) but it had a little of everything, bike building, riding, fun, brotherhood, and having a good time at an event.

Since I was there and know what went on I would have trashed the Monster Garage ads and the dude on the bike/ airplane, I would have also shortened the building parts and expanded the riding and mayhem, and The Horse Smoke Out event. The way I saw the show it was a contest between a mega builder with lots of moola and a guy with limited resources but heavy on the inventive side. It all ended up with these two individuals becoming good friends and enjoying the ride until the end. Billy won, but I would have called it a tie. It takes the same effort and creative ability to build both of those bikes, and they both followed their own styles… How boring it would be if we all did the same shit, over and over. Roger said it all when he told Billy, ” You are always welcome in my town.” Seems like I’ve known this guy for 20 years. But we all won, since we had such a blast……and found true brotherhood.

Bandit gives it a thumbs up. Digital gives it a thumbs up. Two thumbs up ! And who really wins?Me, since I’m an exclusive distributor for both companies in the Caribbean…Thanks guys….

American Chopper, let’s say that Paul Jr. is my friend, so don’t get pissed at me. He has a lot of fabricating talent and cool ideas, but all the fighting and bickering during the show was a bit too much, and ended up looking…well..not too good.. Let’s say how much I love the magic of television, and I mean magic. Tanks being made that look really familiar, Paul Sr shouting it out with the paint guy and the paint guy actually showing up. The mechanic bitching at the owners son, you know stuff like that. I loved the part when he said ” Take some geritol pops” je,je,je….. I think the show was ok since it gave us exposure to stuff that actually happens in shops, more so when the pressure is on, but I think it ended up looking bad for the guys at OCC. We know all that shit happens, but in front of the world ? Maybe not. I’m not crazy about theme bikes, or overdone choppers (putting it mildly), but they achieved their goal, whatever it was, and too bad it was raining. That bike would have won in any of the Florida shows…where they love flashy stuff. Anyway, if it was me and the mechanic is my friend and throws a tantrum, he’ll be on the unemployment line right now. Bandit thumbs up, Digital thumbs down. And gentlemen am I behaving tonight….!!!!! yessir….

Motorcycle Women….Oh boy what can I say, I’m totally fringed out….I saw more bandannas than on a Howdy Doody convention, and aquamarine galore…. The purpose of the show was cool, again people, in this case females, of all walks of life, riding thru an amazing route on the way to Frisco. Plot was ok, I guess if you are into girly mayhem, that does not include Jerry Springer behavior. The cleanest bikes I’ve ever seen on a 1500 mile run (yep, they are girls !). I also Imagine that they took so long since they stopped at every shop and trinket vendor on the way, and we know the trailer was just for their clothing and accessories….What’s really cool about it is that they were typical girls, you know, accessorizing, trying to look good and doing what they do, but in this case they were riding Harleys…and a Vulcan….One of them?was wearing more?stuff than the whole 25 of us packed?on the Builder ride!!!! I know that show did not go too well with the actual riding ladies who work on their bikes and don’t need to be fringed out in tiny tops, or even worry of looking good…

By the way, the oriental girl on the tiny tops rocked ! And you know that women are brutal critics. But you got to take it for what it is, a trip for girl power. I loved the part when the two ladies said they’ve been riding dykes for 30 years, oopss, mean bikes…You know English is not my first language sorry. Another gripe: We’d rather see the panties “on” than in the laundry, but, what you gonna do? All in all it was another story of brotherhood, here I go again..Sistership, and the relations between bikers and a real life. Bandit thumbs down (unless they all show up at San Pedro begging for his closed door parties). Digital thumbs up, (he would give a thumbs up too a walking stick with tits).

Man, I was so into the Bandit and Siskel thing that I forgot about the news. I guess we will always have next week to do, but before I head back to my padded cell…..News from Bikernet Enquirer….. Someone has found the long lost son of a famous biker magazine and web entrepreneur Bandit. This rare event took place when one of the readers noticed that Jose’s editorials reminded him of a younger Bandit. That prompted both parties to attend a taping of the Jenny Jones, Jerry Springer and falling asleep on Maury Povich to do some paternity tests and clear the doubt, Sin and Layla promptly denied being Jose’s mother (not what you said in Puerto Rico, remember come to mama….??) on the fragile rebuttal of just being younger than him.

Mr Bandit is being charged for a backlog of pallimony to the amount of 2.5 million. Even though the paternity tests proved semi positive and the lie detector pulverized the needle, Bandit still claims he is innocent of all charges. We talked to Jose who is still in limbo….

“Imagine all the bikes that I could have featured in Easy Riders…. and I paid those damn 6 bucks for so many years. Man to think that, it makes me angry….Yep six bucks for those mags…man.”

We will expand the story on following weeks, with the new hot story, Geno and Chris Maida were separated at birth !!!!Inquiring minds wanna know…….

–Later,Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Report (and behaving…) www.ChopperFreak.com

Continued On Page 3

A brother of mine recently had his motorcycle stolen. Dean Shawler, the editor of Biker Magazine, had his motorcycle bagged from in front of the hotel near the California Speedway. Stealing bikes is bullshit. To many riders their bikes are their lives. They put their hearts into these machines. They aren’t goddamn televisions. We need them back. Some 32 bikes were stolen from Street Vibrations a week ago.

I’m going to start to post stolen motorcycles in the news. If you or a friend has a bike bagged tell us as much as possible about the bike and when and where it was taken and we’ll post it.

If you spot one of these bikes or know what happened to one, we don’t want to be snitches. We want the bikes back. We will develop an archive of stolen bikes and see if we can’t get a few back. Let me know your thoughts. Let’s get to the news:

GLENDALE, CA – Sheryl Crow, Mick Fleetwood & Friends, and JeffersonStarship will headline Love Ride 19, the largest motorcycle fundraisingevent in the world, on Sunday, November 10. Grand Marshal Jay Leno,Honorary Grand Marshal Peter Fonda, and a host of celebrity bikers will lead20,000+ motorcyclists on a 50-mile caravan from Harley-Davidson of Glendale,California, to a barbecue, trade show, and concert at Castaic Lake.Proceeds will benefit Reading By 9, MDA, and other charities. In 18 years,the Love Ride has raised over $15 million.

Sign up is 6am-9am on Sunday, November 10 at Harley-Davidson of Glendale,with a 90-minute Jefferson Starship concert at 7:00am, followed by acelebrity press conference at 8:45a.m. The caravan of bikes departs toCastaic Lake at 9:15am.

Festivities at Castaic Lake will begin at 11 a.m. until 4 p.m. (gatesopen at 10am). Mick Fleetwood & Friends perform at 11:45am followed bySheryl Crow at 1:15. The minimum donation is $60, or $50 if you sign-up inadvance online (www.loveride.org) or at Harley-Davidson of Glendale beforeNovember 5, 2002. For larger donations, participants qualify to receive avariety of prizes, including a 2003 100th Anniversary Harley-Davidson V-Rodand a 2003 Ford Harley-Davidson F-150.

Harley-Davidson of Glendale is located at 3717 San Fernando Road betweenLos Feliz Blvd. and Glendale Avenue. For more information, call (818)246-5618, extension 7.

RAPE, KIDNAPPING CHARGES DISMISSED–Oct 1, 2002 – Minnesota,Hennepin County prosecutors dismissed rape and kidnapping charges against an alleged member of the Hells Angels motorcycle club. Jay D. Rankin, 42, of Hastings, was charged in July with raping a 25-year-old woman June 27 at a clubhouse in northeast Minneapolis. According to the criminal complaint, the woman said she was sexually assaulted by several men, including Rankin, at the clubhouse after being forced to drink a beverage that left her partially paralyzed.

“New credible evidence came to light which was inconsistent with the original version of the events,” Deputy County Attorney Pete Cahill said Monday.

The clubhouse had a surveillance camera and the woman was seen on tape hugging and snuggling with one of the men who was accused of raping her two hours earlier. A tape also showed her leaving on someone else’s motorcycle. “Her behavior was not consistent with someone who was raped,” Tallen said. The woman reported that she was raped by several men but only Rankin was charged.

Laboratory reports showed no sign of a date-rape drug. Rankin is being held in federal custody on drug-trafficking and money-laundering charges and is scheduled for trial Nov. 4 before U.S. District Judge David Doty.?

OZARK ED CONFESSES–It seems that Wednesday is going to be the day for me and the juvee girl. She’s off work and doesn’t have college classes until 6 pm. Anyway, yesterday we went on a road trip to this little park about 20 miles from town. It’s on top of a hill looking out over the lake. We were there for 3 or 4 hours. At the last minute I decided to meet her in my car so we could leave it and talk in her car while we traveled. I almost took the bike. Glad I didn’t.

On the way home I’m stopped at a red light and I look across and guess whosE sitting there? Titty Bar Mike. He was looking right at me, but her car is a Honda and there are thousands of them just like it in the neighborhood. If I had been on the bike… busted. If I had taken my car… busted. It’s a miracle that he didn’t see me.

I dropped her off and drove like the wind to get home before he called. I wasn’t sure if he saw me or not, so I called him as soon as I got home and he didn’t say anything. So I know he missed it. I have to be more careful. I don’t want to mess this up.

I think me and Mike are going to san Jose, ca this saturday. His dad has a tattoo shop. We’ll drive non stop there and back. One day (22 hours) to get there. One day to get home, and one big old party day in between. I need some ocean. Been a long time since I woke up on the beach wondering what happened. I can’t wait. Hope my country ass don’t get all California’d and I come back saying “dude” all the time. That’ll get your ass whipped around here.

–Ozark Ed

WILL THE DRAG RACING REPORT RETURN?– I’ve attached a photo of Ron Houniet who won Top Fuel at Woodburn. It was of one of his over 200 mph passes that weekend. My digital just doesn’t want to take sharp shots of fast moving objects, though.

Perhaps?you can see why I need a better camera body. Actually, I have two great film bodies, but digital is what I need and want.?Film’s frustrating and expensive.?

–Helen

I smell negotiations.?

PRESIDENT BUSH AND COLIN POWELL SITTING AT BAR– A guy walks in and asks the bartender, “Isn’t that Bush and Powell sitting over there?” The bartender says, “Yep, that’s them.”

So the guy walks over and says, “Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?”

Bush says, “We’re planning WW III “. And the guy says, “Really? What’s going to happen?”

Bush says, “Well, we’re going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits.

The guy exclaimed, “A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?

Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, “See, smart ass?! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!”

–from the Princess

RUMOR HAS IT A GROUP OF RIDERS HEADING OUT OF SAN PEDRO FOR TOMBSTONE–It’s scheduled for the 18th through the 20th of October in Tombstone. Apparently, they turn the clock back to the 1800’s and reenact the Gunfight at the OK Corral, do a bunch of Old West stuff like shootouts and the whole nine yards. I’m going to stay in Benson which is about 25 miles from Tombstone. The other towns close are Sierra Vista and Bisbee. I just got off the phone with the Tombstone Chamber of Commerce and the lady advised me that the temperatures should be in the 80’s during the day and 60’s as a low. Sounds like perfect riding conditions to me!

–Forrest

Anti-Virus Control.

MINNESOTA INDICTMENT–October 2, 2002 – Minnesota -Pioneer Press.The Hells Angels motorcycle club, once synonymous with violence, drug dealing and racketeering, is making headlines again. And while Minnesota has not had deadly shootouts like in Nevada and New York earlier this year between rival motorcycle clubs, authorities here have investigated the Hells Angels for drug trafficking and money laundering. Federal prosecutors Tuesday announced the drug distribution indictment of the local Hells Angels chapter president Patrick J. Matter, who also owns a motorcycle shop in Northeast Minneapolis. A federal grand jury also indicted two of Matter’s associates, Mark A. Armstrong and Michael T. Eason, although it was unclear whether they are members of the Hells Angels.?

–from 1%er.com

Valentines Day isn’t even close.

GOLF BALLS AND BLONDS–A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls. He sat down next to a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls”.

Never-the-less, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”

–from Nuttboy

“THE OUTLAWS MOTORCYCLE CLUB MAY BE HURTING IN ONTARIO, BUT FAR FROM DEAD,” A BIKER SPECIALIST WARNS–?October 1, 2002 – Canada,And if messages on the club’s Web site are any indication, he’s right. “You can’t dismantle the Outlaws by just having 50 per cent of the Ontario members in jail and 10 per cent of the puppet club,” said Guy Ouellette, a former Quebec anti-biker officer. Thirty-five of 70 known Ontario Outlaw bikers and four of 30 Black Piston puppet club members are behind bars, he said.

That leaves many still on the streets, Ouellette said, and others soon will be out on bail. “They are in a mess,” he said. “But they will go away only when they are dead.”?

ASPHALT COWBOY REPORT–?? We have been meeting with Stephen Baldwin to discuss casting,rewrites and have had a few meetings, but he went back to New York lastnight. He has lots of connections and feel confident that we will get it moving quickly.

We are really excited and aresetting up meetings with several distribution companies over the next twoweeks. We really want to start shooting by January 1, which is when Stephenis available. He has a quick movie to do in Montreal and then we can getmoving.

–Linda Nelson
NELSON MADISON FILMS

THE ROMANCE CONTINUES–Man my life is good. I spent the whole day with the juvee girl. We rode some beautiful roads then spent four hours at her cabin in the mountain, then had the beautiful ride home.

Big tall Roger and Skitzo Eric came over last night and we sat out in the shop and drank a bunch o’ buds. Juvee girl just had her hair darkened and the two of them started talking about how fine she is and yada yada yada. You know how hard it is to not tell them. Dammit, iIcould be “the man”. Of course that would blow the whole deal, so I just listen to them talk their shit and I nod along in agreement.

I have been down this road before. I know that sooner or later we’ll get caught together and the shit will hit the fan. Then I’ll be shit with my girl, but the man with everyone else. I hope that day never comes. I could do this till she gets old and ugly.

–Ozark Ed?????

Continued On Page 2

Continued From Page 3

THE BIKERNET DOWN-UNDER REPORT–An Australian woman was having a shower and slipped butinstead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she did the splits,and suctioned herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband Jacko. “Jacko! Jacko!” she yelled.Jacko came running in. “Jacko, I’ve bloody suctioned myself tothe floor,” she said.

“Strewth!” Jacko said and tried to pull her up. “You’re just tooheavy, girl. I’ll go across the road and get Bluey.” (his mate).

They came back and they both tried to pull her up.

“No way. We can’t do it,” Bluey said “Lets try Plan C.”

“Plan C?” exclaimed Jacko. “What’s that?”

“I’ll go home and get my hammer and chisel, and we’ll break thetiles under her.”

“Spot on,” Jacko said. “While you are doing that, I’ll stayhere and play with her tits.”

“Play with her tits?” Bluey said, “Why the hell would you wantto do that?”

Jacko replied “Well, I reckon if I can get her wet enough, wecan slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren’t so expensive.”

–from Bob T.

FROM THE BIKERNET ARCHIVES–

MURDER CHARGES DROPPED IN GANG FIGHT– Prosecutors dropped murdercharges today (Sept. 19th) against a member of the Hells Angelsmotorcycle club, saying he may have been justified infiring the shot that killed a member of a rival club at aHells Angels event in February. Members of the other group,the Pagan Outlaw Motorcycle Club, had crashed the event,many of them wielding bats and other weapons.

As part of a plea agreement, the Hells Angels member,Raymond G. Dwyer, pleaded guilty to a lesser charge ofthird-degree weapons possession in connection with thefracas, which erupted at a catering hall in Plainview wherethe Long Island Hells Angels chapter had been holding amotorcycle and tattoo exposition.

“We cannot prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Mr. Dwyerwasn’t reasonably justified when he fired,” Robert T.Hayden, a Nassau County assistant district attorney, toldJudge Alan L. Honorof in Nassau County Court.

Later, Mr. Hayden explained that Mr. Dwyer could haveconvincingly claimed that he acted in self-defense when hefired five or six shots, one of which killed a 51-year-oldmember of the Pagans, Robert Rutherford of Lancaster, Pa.More than 70 members of the club had arrived at thecatering hall to confront the Hells Angels in the latestchapter in a longstanding rivalry, the authorities said.

“This group of about eight or nine Pagans was stormingthrough the front door, swinging pipes and clubs at theHells Angels,” Mr. Hayden said. “It was in that situationthat Mr. Dwyer pulled out the gun.”

Mr. Dwyer, 39, appeared in court in a dark gray suitadorned with a silver pin denoting his allegiance to theHells Angels. His brown hair was pulled back in a neatponytail and a pair of sunglasses rested on his head.

He declined to comment on the case but handed a reporter astatement praising his lawyer and supporters. “God Blessthe United States of America and God Bless the Hells AngelsMotorcycle Club,” he wrote.

His lawyer, William S. Petrillo, told the judge that “wecould literally have had hundreds of supporters here onbehalf of Mr. Dwyer,” but that he had chosen not to createsuch a scene. Instead, there were only three supporterspresent.

Mr. Petrillo said that Mr. Dwyer, a tattoo artist, did notacknowledge firing any shots, only that “whoever fired thegun obviously did so in self-defense.”

Judge Honorof agreed to sentence Mr. Dwyer to no more thanone year in the Nassau County Jail, and to postpone thatsentence until a separate case is settled. In that case,Mr. Dwyer and six other Hells Angels members were arrestedin May; the authorities said they had beaten and robbed aformer member.

The judge agreed today that if Mr. Dwyer is convicted, thesentences will run concurrently.

Most of the 73 Pagans charged in the February attack havepleaded guilty to federal racketeering-related charges. Theauthorities said the Pagans had driven to Long Island fromas far as Virginia, Delaware and Pennsylvania to confronttheir rivals.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON 100th ANNIVERSARY RIDE HOME IN AUGUST 2003– In August 2003, members of the Harley-Davidson family of riders, dealers and employees will begin riding home to Milwaukee, Wisconsin to help celebrate a century of great motorcycling. The 100th Anniversary Ride Home includes four routes across the United States that will stop in 26 cities from August 17-26, 2003.

The Ride Home is a major component of Harley-Davidson’s 100th Anniversary celebration, which helps share the passion of motorcycling with people around the world. The Harley-Davidson family has a goal of raising $5 million for the Muscular Dystrophy Association during its 100th Anniversary celebration.

Ride Home participants can choose to ride an entire route at their own pace, join along the way, or celebrate at a single community stop on the route. The four Ride Home routes are: Southwest Route from Las Vegas, Northwest Route from Portland, South Central Route from Baton Rouge, and Northeast Route from New York. The rides are free and open to the public.

“With exciting events and gathering points along each route, the Ride Home gives Harley-Davidson enthusiasts all over the country the chance to celebrate the 100th Anniversary even if they can’t make it to Milwaukee,” said Joanne Bischmann, Harley-Davidson vicepresident of marketing. “The Ride Home stops will be memorable events for local communities, and you don’t have to be a rider to attend.”

Free public events along the Ride Home routes include Rendezvous parties, festivities hosted by Harley-Davidson dealers, local street parties, and Harley-Davidson plant tours in Kansas City and York, PA. Harley-Davidson 100th Anniversary events help support the Muscular Dystrophy Association through ride sponsorships, pledges, raffles, commemorative pin sales and other fundraisers.

Additional information on the Harley-Davidson 100th Anniversary and on the Ride Home can be found at www.harley-davidson.com as it becomes available. Ride Home dates, locations and activities are subject to change.

DEVIL DOLLS DICE RUN 2002–

ST. MOM’S WORT–Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by renderingpreschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

THE FINAL REPORT FROM OZARK ED–This whole juvee girl thing is really a man’s dream. She is so beautiful andfun to be around, but she understands the whole thing with my girl.

Shedoesn’t want to have a “boyfriend” at this point in her life, but she wants tohave fun. She has a constant stream of guys following her around trying toscore her. They are so obvious that they are trying to find that trophy girl,and they immediately scare her off with the pursuit.

I never tried to score.I told her the first time I met her that I had a girl and she couldn’t haveme. She found that different, and she isn’t scared of me. We laugh at theefforts of the hard dicks and dream up ways to frustrate them. It’s cruel funat their expense but what do I care? In the mean time, she is mine for thetaking and nobody knows. I have met my goals of getting to hit that once ortwice a week, probably for years to come. She doesn’t want me to leave mygirl, she’s not jealous, she makes no demands and she’s very discreet. I haveno clue why I have the kind of luck I do, but I ain’t bitchin.

Come on, youhave to admit, shit just goes my way. I’ll probably die a long brutalagonizing death from something, insteadof a fiery crash and burn quick death. You would think that there has to be aprice of some sort for the good fortune that I have had my whole life.

QUOTE OF THE WEAK–“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” — Robin Williams

–from Kris B.

THAT?S IT–While the men are hard at work, I had to finish the news. They really look busy don?t they? I could be sarcastic and say ?whatta life Bandit?s got? but I?d be a hypocrite. Truth is, my life is pretty damn good playing here at the Headquarters and getting to call it work. I?m one lucky bitch and I know it.

We had to lock Lawless Lorraine up in the basement this morning. Ever since Jose threatened to come for a visit, she?s been speaking Spanish and panting like a bitch in heat, (she LOVES a man with a Spanish accent). Then when Marcus Cuff and Frank Kaisler showed up this morning, she tried to attack them. Jose better bring a bodyguard when he comes down cause we may not be able to protect him from Lorraine. Or, maybe he?d like that?.I should warn him, she?s one big Amazon woman!

Back to the ?work? going on outside. Bandit is modifying his Road King with H-D touring accessories (bite your tongue Jose), for an American Rider tech tip article; Marcus Cuff is doing the photographs. Frank Kaisler is also shooting the King project for Bikernet.

It?s a beautiful, sunny day here in San Pedro with a gentle West breeze keeping us cool. I?m off to my kickboxing class for an hour then a seriously painful stretch class for another hour. Hopefully when I get home these guys will be finished with their project and out of here so Bandit and I can relax with a Jack on the rocks & White Russian. Maybe I?ll get to practice some new moves on him!

Sin

Continued From Page 2

DUCT TAPE–A few weeks ago I asked for your best duct tape stories. I showed a pic of how Bandit used it for medical purposes and here?s one response I got. I can?t believe that with all the people reading the news weekly, Lochness is the only genius that had the sense to solve a few dilemmas with duct tape. C?mon, there?s got to be a few more geniuses out there. Let?s have your duct tape stories and by all means, include photos if you got ?em. Submit them to sinwu@bikernet.com

Layla

I remember one time before I had a carb support bracket made, my shovel wasn’t starting or idling right. After hours of scratching my head, I realized the manifold was slipping ever so slightly towards the ground. Not enough to see visually but enough so the bike wouldn’t start or idle. I had a friend hold the carb up while I kicked it over, and kicked and kicked and kicked. Once I got it started, I had to hold the carb up with my left hand so it wouldn’t start slipping down and stall. I remember riding home trying to get through the gears as fast as I could so I could take my left hand off the clutch and use it to hold the carb up. Man that was an experience riding home holding the carb. I got some weird stares that day. I finally got home and used duct tape to hold the carb by taping the carb to the gas tank. I rode to the bike shop and had them make a bracket out of scrap metal.

Another time I went to my local shop to pick up some 15″ apes, risers and a taillight for another bike I?m working on. I also had to pick up oil and a filter. It didn’t occur to me that I wouldn’t be able to fit all that shit in my bag until I got ready to leave. I crammed the oil, risers and light in my bag and sat in the parking lot cussing and contemplating how the fuck I was gonna get those apes home. I ain?t got a car or truck so that wasn’t a option. After a couple a minutes, I crushed out my smoke and grabbed a roll a duct tape from a mechanics tool cart and taped those apes to my forks. Bingo, they made it home, no problemo.

I even once used duct tape to seal a deep puncture wound on my ankle too. My buddy and I were doing some serious drinking and he was throwing empties at a wall and a piece of glass Ricochet off the wall about ten feet from me and went clear through my jeans and into my ankle. When I pulled the glass out, blood started flowing real quick like. Anyway, the tape stopped the bleeding. I changed it daily and it eventually healed fine.

Lochness

VIAGRA COFFEE– This elderly lady went to the doctor for a checkup. Everything checked out fine.

The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, “Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now, and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.”

The doctor smiled and said, “Have you tried to give him Viagra?”

The lady frowned. “Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she claimed.

“Well,” the doctor continued, “let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won’t notice a thing.”

The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor’s office quickly.

Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.

“How did it go?” the doctor asked.

“Terribly, doctor, terribly.”

“Did it not work?”

“Yes,” the old lady said, “It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I’d had in 25 years.”

“Then what is the problem, ma’am?”

“Well,” she said. “I can’t ever show my face in McDonald’s again.”

–from Miss Kriss

MIDDLE-EASTERN MEDICAL STUDENTS–I just read some of the postings about the medical students from themiddle east that were jacked-up in Florida as a result of running theiryaps in a restaurant. If it’s true that they were trying to sound liketerrorists as a joke on other patrons at the restaurant, it sounds like itbackfired on em. It’s lucky I wasn’t there if that’s the case.

I’ll tell you a story of a similar situation that happened to me at theheight of the Iranian Hostage Crisis in 1980. As most of you know, therewas a lot of hate towards Iranians in the U.S. I was mad about whatthey were doing to American hostages and I even organized a “Komen CarBash” – an event where you donated money to see the sledgehammer fly.

Anyway, I was eating lunch at a House of Pancakes in Garden Grove, when Inoticed three Iranians sitting at another table by me. After awhile, notignoring the fact that they were laughing and having a good time, itstarted to get to me that they were in the U.S., safe and sound, whilemany American citizens were being held hostage in their country. Being anasshole that I can sometime be, I walked over to their table – when I didthis, the whole restaurant went quiet like an E.F.Hutton commercial. Ilooked down at them and said, “are you Iranians?” (Kinda loud) After some nervous squirming one said, “No, we’re French!”

I said, “Fuck you,you speak Iranian, look Iranian, and are reading an Iranian newspaper, youlying fucking punks, how about we fuckin go outside right now and I’llkick all your fuckin’ asses?”

After not getting the invitation answered oraccepted, I said, “Just what I thought, a bunch of fuckin cowards – justlike Khomeni.” I went back to my table and ate lunch. The next day I wentback there and the waitress said, “You were right, they are Iranian, theycome in here often.”

I look back and think I was out of line when I did that, and withoutprovocation. I probably wouldn’t do that now, but the Americans theykidnapped didn’t provoke anybody, did they?

Now we have today’s terrorism and the same feelings towards somemiddle-eastern people. I know that if I was in that restaurant and heardmiddle easterners joking it up about terrorism in today’s climate, Iprobably would’ve kicked some ass and not called the police, but that’s me.

-Rusty HAMC-BHC

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH–Yes I?m back with my countdown to chaos. Only 90 days till Christmas and you?ve got to started on your holiday shopping. Perhaps you?d rather have a spanking instead? Well me too but for now I?m talking about the Gulch and the Cantina.

Where else can you read an on-going drama with sex, violence, drinking, motorcycles and more sex? I don?t know either but I do know you can get it in the Cantina. A Babe a Day, Digital Discovery, and K. Randall Ball?s books in their entirety among other things fill the Cantina for good action-packed reading while your cruising the Internet instead of working.

Only a few more days left with the reduced price of $15.00 per year and then it goes back up to $20. Don?t wait – DO IT NOW!

And now for my Gulch plug?

---

“VISIT BIKERNET GULCH FOR ALL YOUR BIKE NEEDS”

SELECT A SHOP ABOVE
OR SIMPLY CLICK HERE!
FOR EVEN MORE SELECTIONS!

Shirts, Books, Art Prints and more make it easy for gift giving this year. We have leather products and Local 81/Crime Inc. shirts, hats and sweatshirt too. Anything you could possibly need for the biker in your life is right here in the Gulch.

So you say you need parts? Well we have those too. Look for Parts Direct banners for discount parts or click on the Chrome Specialties building in the Gulch for their complete catalog.

It doesn?t get any easier than that. No more hassles of driving, finding a place to park or waiting in line. Shop online and simplify your life. Hey guys, cruise through the Gulch and make a list for your ladies. You?ll save her lottsa time by showing her exactly what you want, where you want. While your looking, you?re sure to check out the cute little thong and panty sets, or a cool woman?s shirt from Joker that would look great on your lady.

Now, about that spanking, who?s first?

Sin

HARLEY-DAVIDSON HAS ITS CENTENIAL CELEBRATION IN THE BAG–MILWAUKEE, July 17, 2002 – Premium leather, plenty of storage and a century?s worth of design experience make Harley-Davidson?s 100th Anniversary Saddlebag Collection the perfect long-haul companion for 100th Anniversary Dyna and Softail models.

The 100th Anniversary Leather Saddlebags for Dyna Models (P/N 91617-03) has a clean, angular design that complements the smooth lines of the Dyna. Featuring an all-new design that is enhanced by the commemorative 100th Anniversary logo, the saddlebags offer ample amounts of both storage and style. The bags fit ?02 and later Dyna models (except FXDWG) and have a suggested U.S. retail of $649. They do require Turn Signal Relocation Kit P/N 68732-02 for domestic and P/N 68733-02 for international vehicles.

The 100th Anniversary Leather Saddlebags for Dyna Wide Glide (P/N 91622-03) offer the perfect blend of street attitude and practicality. Styled to accent the sweeping bobtail fender of the Wide Glide, these bags are as roomy as they are cool. Featuring the official 100th Anniversary cast logo, these bags fit ?02 and later FXDWG models and require the separate purchase of Turn Signal Relocation Kit P/N 68734-02 for domestic and P/N 68735-02 for international vehicles. Suggested U.S. retail is $649.

The 100th Anniversary Locking Leather Covered Rigid Saddlebags for Softail (P/N 92015-03) feature locks with push-button operation for added security. The premium look of leather is enhanced by an extra durable construction. The blow-molded core prevents the bag from sagging and the lids open outward for added distinction. The prismatic 100th Anniversary logo is prominently displayed on the bags, which have a suggested U.S. retail of $859. The bags fit ?00 and later Softail models (except FXSTD) and also work with 84-99 Softail models with the separate purchase of Directional Relocation Kit P/N 53692-96 (FLSTC and FLSTS models do not require this kit).

The 100th Anniversary Leather Saddlebags for Softail Deuce (P/N 92018-03) feature an ingenious mounting system that eliminates visible hardware when the bags are removed. With styling as contemporary as the Deuce itself, the strong lines of the bag accentuate the curve of the Deuce?s fender and the 100th Anniversary logo adds a final distinctive touch. The bags fit ?00 and later FXSTD models and have a suggested U.S. retail of $629. For proper installation, the bags require Saddlebag Support Kit P/N 68360-00 and Directional Relocation Kit P/N 90395-00.

For additional information on the 100th Anniversary Saddlebag Collection and other Harley-Davidson Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories, see your local Harley-Davidson dealer or visit the Harley-Davidson web site at www.harley-davidson.com. To find a dealer near you, call toll free 1-800-443-2153 in the U.S.A. or Canada.

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POLARIS OPEN HOUSE– Set for Oct. 12-19 This October, somebody is going to win the ultimate treat, and there’s no trick involved. The first-ever Polaris National Open House will take place Oct. 12-19, giving outdoor lovers across America and Canada an opportunity to visit their local Polaris dealer to demo product, learn about Polaris’ mind-boggling 2003 new product lineup, take advantage of a very special finance offer, and last, but definitely not least, register for a powersports lover’s dream prize package.

To celebrate the Polaris National Open House, consumers who visit participating Polaris dealers between Oct. 12 and 19 can enter the “Ride of Your Life” sweepstakes to become eligible to win a grand-prize package that includes one vehicle from each of Polaris’ four recreational product lines, plus other goodies. All together, the grand-prize package is worth a retail value of more than $35,000. Additionally, one first-prize winner will receive a certificate to participate in the Richard Petty Driving Experience.

The Grand Prize

The Polaris “Ride of Your Life” sweepstakes grand-prize package includes a Polaris product for any weather and every terrain, and can help anyone find a way out of the stress of everyday life. The package includes:

A 2002 Polaris 700 XC SP snowmobile
A 2003 Classic Cruiser Victory motorcycle
A 2002 Polaris Virage i watercraft
A 2003 Polaris Magnum 330 4×4 all-terrain vehicle
A Floe two-place trailer
$1000 in Polaris apparel and accessories (excluding service and parts)

“With all the exciting new things happening at Polaris, we figured it was about time we got together with our dealers and celebrated with a good old-fashioned open house,” said Tom Tiller, president and CEO of Polaris. “This gives folks who have been kicking around the idea of buying a new recreation or utility vehicle the chance to come in, see what’s new at Polaris, and while they’re there, register to win an amazing prize package.”

Driving home with a new Polaris or Victory will be easier than ever during the Polaris National Open House. A special no money down, no payments and no interest for 12 months financing offer is available with the purchase of $1,000 in Pure Polaris apparel and accessories. Details on financing programs are available at all participating dealerships.

The Polaris “Ride of Your Life” Sweepstakes is open to persons 18 years of age and older who are legal residents of the United States and Canada. Subject to official rules – to see official rules, visit a participating Polaris dealer or log on to the Polaris Web site at www.polarisindustries.com. Consumers also may mail in an official entry or a hand-printed 3-inch x 5-inch piece of paper in an envelope with postage affixed to: Polaris Ride of Your Life Sweepstakes, P.O. Box 6685, Stacy, MN 55078-6685. One entry per person. Mail-in entries must be postmarked not later than midnight October 21, 2002 and be received no later than October 28, 2002.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–This world is going to Hell !! What’s going on ? Bikernet is turning into Harleys R Us, Bush wants a war no matter what , some chick gives a beating to her kid and she’s going to jail, and the poor girl to a foster home?

I don’t know if it’s me but we all got a pretty good (and maybe deserved) beating once in a while, it’s called discipline, I believe. But this woman, and I’m not saying that what she did was right, slaps the kid around and she’s going to jail!!! I think it sucks. What kind of care would that little girl get in a foster home? The powers that be are fucking her life up, and now the kid’s with some strange people in a strange world, that’s sick.

To top it off now, all the kids have to wear helmets for any activity they do, skates, bikes, skateboards….. I don’t recall even using a helmet for any of that when I was a kid , and we all banged our heads more than once…..We got up and kept on doing what we were doing. What?s next, if you run around the house you will have to wear a lid ‘ cause you might bang your head on a wall? Come on…Isn’t this the ” Land of the Free” ??? That’s why I don’t even watch news or read newspapers.

What the hell do I care if Miss Universe lost her crown because she doesn’t get up at 4:00 am….Man, I don’t blame her who the hell wants to get up that early! Or because she’s banging Putkin or whatever his name is….so she should be celibate for a year because Trump wants to…..go suck an egg. I guess I understand more and more , less and less, oh well…enough ranting….Let’s bash Harley once more.

How come the “factory” is bending over and taking it like a man from the government. All I’ve heard is that the V-Rod will replace the air cooled V-Twin because the EPA is getting stricter with their stuff. Soon all bikes will have to be CARB , and carburetors will be a thing of the past.

If I had the power that H-D has on the economy of the USA, I would tell the bureaucrats to get the hell outta town, play by our rules, we won’t play by yours. Let’s see why Harley is what it is today, maybe because fanatics (yes we are fanatics) like that old style, like to have a part of that past and nostalgia that this American Big Twins give them? How come the best selling models are the Fat Boy, Heritage and Road King? If you see those bikes and they remind you of the old FL?s, give yourself an A!

How come a magazine like EasyRiders (RIP) is on the way to a 7′ deep hole? They forgot the formula that made them what they were, choppers, the biker lifestyle and??. nostalgia. Who cares if your bike cost you ten grand or 100 grand, how come you can be riding on the latest 100th anniversary model and the guy next to you on a basket chopper gets all the attention? Because choppers have an appeal that no other vehicle has (maybe super expensive exotic cars, AND Muscle cars). Maybe it’s because we spend our lives remembering the past, the things we’ve done and seen….. Why does most of the week-end warriors dress up like they do….Bingo! Marlon Brando, James Dean, Easy Rider, Hells Angels…..all the images of those cool, suave dudes being rebels. Images of past. They all wanna-be bad asses, no kicking and no nasty carbs, and God forbid riding a rigid! We have become consumer freaks. I bet the Davidson and Harley brothers are twisting around in their graves with the sight of what’s become of their company. And that’s the way I see it.

PS: Just read Fiction on the new Biker Magazine, Nov issue 206, I guess it has something to do with what I’m saying above.

Jose, check this letter our from 1927

And enough bull, let’s get to the news…..

Billy Lane is featured in Cycle World this month…yeap Cycle World, pretty cool article, check it out.

Speaking of magazines, Jesse James has an article in FHM, yeap the hot chick mag for men, are we getting that famous ??? Only time will tell.

A report of the Key West Poker Run has been received, tons and tons of Ford pickups with trailers hauling bikes heading for the Keys, (Some say 10,000, some say 40,000). I got a report of very few cool bikes, 99% having the ham can air cleaner (so I guess we are 1% er?s after all) and the new South Florida rage….Gold !!! Gold everything from rims to chain guards… Cops waiting for bikes with open pipes to bust them (check points with clubs to stick it in the pipes, It’s Key West !!) Etc.etc. Geno reported that he has ” Loser” bike photos for the next 4 years of the Horse….At least there’s always Upstairs…

Street Vibrations is taking place as we speak, the Reno event seems to be a pretty cool party, in a mini Vegas style. I hope it does not get too hot to handle…lets see.

I’ve noticed a new banner-sponsor on Bikernet….Choppahead…cool swags by cool people, check them out at Choppahead.com, Welcome.

The Discovery Channel is airing Bike Week end, it starts Saturday, Sept 28th at 9:00 pm eastern time with Motorcycle Mania 1 then The Great Biker Build-Off/ Horse Smoke out thing at 10: 00 pm, that’s the show we are all waiting for. See what happens and let us know how you liked it. Sunday is Motorcycle Mania 2, American Chopper and Biker Women. Monday there will be new Monster Garage episodes….Cool it’s going to be a Chopper full week -end.

I’m trying to create a database on our web site www.ChopperFreak.com of Latin American shops and builders. I’m sure there are more people that do the same as we do, so shoot us an email; let’s see what’s going on chopperwise in this part of the world.

Seems like the Race to the Badlands, 100th is happening….stay tuned for the play by play reports as the race unfolds, bike builds, plans, etc…..I’m going Old Skool, I guess Bandit is going Techno…And let’s see who joins up…..It will be fun….I’m already printing maps of the house in Lead so Bandit can meet us there….whenever he gets in.

Countdown to Biketoberfest……..soon, very soon….3 weeks soon. I really don’t care much about the event, but The Horse Party and general mayhem with friends is the stuff I look up to. I’m even taking a bike (chopper of course! ) that’s making it’s way to California……

Anyway….time to get out of here….see you all next week…

Jose “Acclaimed” Caribbean Report…..

THE DEFINITION OF SOCIAL SECURITY SEX– Two guys were talking. “So, how’s your sex life?”

“Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security sex,”

“Social Security sex?”

“Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!”

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–Jenny.
Marketing,
ioffers.com

LAST BIG DRAGS OF THE YEAR–Howdy, The Texas Scooter Times would like to remind everyone about the “Last Big Drags” of the year!! The STATE FINALS- October 6th (Sunday) at Lone Star Raceway Park in Sealy, Texas…

Originally scheduled for a two day event, this Race has been rescheduled to a one day event….Featuring Nitro Harleys – Nostalgia Fuel Harleys and Unlimited Top Gas Harleys with 30 Sportsman Classes for ANY Type of Harley!Huge Vendor Midway – Burnout Contest and much much more!Gates open at 8am, Track opens at 10am and Eliminations at 2pm…. BE THERE!

Track is located 10 miles West of Sealy on Interstate 10. Take the Beckendorf Exit and Lone Star Raceway Park is located on the South Service Rd…..

For More information visit: www.texasscooter.com or call 254-687-9066…..Vendor Space Still Available… Call the Scooter Times for Details and Reservations…

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Just an ordinary day at the headquarters. Two big LA lawyers are pounding on the door after the IMB stick fighting class. They drag me to lunch and ask me question about shit I would just as soon forget. I know nothing. Then Frank shows up and we split to the garage to tinker with the 2003 Road King. But first I receive an email from Linda Nelson of Nelson Madison Films, “Stephen Baldwin has agreed to direct ASPHALT COWBOYS. We’ve signed a contract with Conrad Goode on your Asphalt Cowboy screenplay. We have several companies interested. As soon as the contract iscleared up (hopefully on Monday), we will rock.

That news makes my day and the tinkering in the garage all the more of a blast. We’ll be reporting on the progress on a regular basis. Let’s get to the news:

HARLEY-DAVIDSON Motor company & BULFINCH PRESS RELEASE–
Willie G. Davidson’s 100 Years of Harley-Davidson.
For almost 100 years, the Harley-Davidson Motor Company has touched the lives of millions of Americans and millions more around the world. From the first motorcycle built in a wooden shed in 1903 to the latest V-Rod model, Harley-Davidson motorcycles have become a cultural phenomenon. To celebrate its 100th Anniversary, Harley-Davidson Motor Company, in conjunction with Bulfinch Press, is set to release 100 Years of Harley-Davidson — a remarkable, personal account of the Company’s history written by Willie G. Davidson, grandson of William A. Davidson, one of the company’s four founders.

Spanning 288 pages and featuring 500 spectacular images, many rare and unseen, 100 Years of Harley-Davidson (Bulfinch Press; October 11, 2002; $65) delves into all facets of the famous brand from its freedom-inspired customers, to Willie G’s personal insights and family memories, to vintage and present day bikes to races and rallies. Divided into six eras, each chapter not only details the evolution of the Company, but the role Harley-Davidson has played in American culture. Willie G’s personal memories are shared from the early days of building the brand with dedicated employees to the evolution of the culture, capturing the history of the Harley-Davidson legacy.

100 Years of Harley-Davidson will be available at bookstores everywhere and through online booksellers beginning October 11th.

FROM THE WOMENS’ CORNER–“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack saysas he stepped out of the shower, “honey, what do youthink the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawnlike this?”

“Probably that I married you for your money,” shereplied.

THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL TO FEATURE THE HORSE-BACKSTREET CHOPPERS’ BIKERFEST, THE SMOKEOUT III, ON ‘THE GREAT BIKER BUILD-OFF’–Show airs Saturday, September 28, 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. ET/PT

The Horse-Backstreet Choppers today announced that its famed chopper and bikerfest, The Smokeout III, will be featured on The Discovery Channel’s ‘The Great Biker Build-Off’. The show will air Saturday, September 28 at 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. ET/PT, and The Horse’s 20 page coverage of The Smokeout III hits newsstands on October 29th.

‘The Great Biker Build-Off’ follows legendary bike builders Roger Bourget and Billy Lane as they create the perfect machine from scratch in just eight weeks. Both bikers ride their new creations to The Smokeout III in Salisbury, N.C., where attendees of this radical chopperfest and bike show vote on which of them deserves the “people’s choice” prize.

The Discovery Channel has dedicated programming towards Bike Weekend on September 28th & 29th, which highlights two days of pure motorcycle madness. The shows include: Harley-Davidson: Birth of the V-Rod; Motorcycle Mania; Motorcycle Mania 2; American Chopper, and Motorcycle Women.

MOST PROLONGED FART–Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for anofficially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.

–from Ray R.

TIP FROM OZARK ED–As usual things just seem to work out for me. in 2000 my girl bought her anew SS monte carlo. What a piece of shit it turned out to be. Without goinginto a long bitch session, I’ll just say it was a nightmare of a car.

Everything was covered under warranty so it was just the time and hassle thatI had to deal with. But you couldn’t trust the car. It would let you downevery time you HAD TO HAVE a car. Anyway, I met this guy with GM and he saidhe could resolve my problems. I took the car to the dealer he indicated andthen after two or three tries, he said it just couldn’t be fixed. Well, I just got anotice that GM has decided to buy my car from me and they are paying me backthe full price I paid, all the interest, the taxes, license fees, and theyare subtracting 3 grand for the mileage put on the car until I had theproblem. Shit. After I pay off my loan, I’ll have enough left over to buy mygirl a nice car for cash.

She found one that she really wants and I’mactually going to have about a thousand left over. That will buy my Shovel’sheadlight, a large bag, a big ole box o’ buds, and have a few stripperdollars. Imagine that, one day fucked, the next day golden.

–Ozark Ed

NEW SUICIDE CLUTCH–

I call it the “Jockey Latch”. It is a cam/latch device that willlock the clutch pedal down at the end of the pedal travel and releaseswhen hit again. It will also cycle through if you press it down to thestop. In other words, it’s there if you need it and not there if youdon’t.

The pictures I have are of the original prototype which isinstalled and used on my ’62 pan. I have an updated version NC machinedfrom billet and chrome plated. It also has some internal mods that makeit bullet proof.

I’m a career tool and die maker and also worked manyyears in the aircraft industry building F15 parts. This is the real deal,and I’m currently setting up my own shop for manufacturing them alongwith lots of other trick stuff, (notice the titanium pressure pad in thepics).

I will be in Daytona during Biketoberfest with the new unit ondisplay and the Panhead for demos. I have a few more pics at my smallwebsite athome.earthlink.net/~hunterlsl/index.html.Feel free to call me at 636-561-2706 or meet me in Daytona.

–Suicide Bob

BIKERNET DRINKING STUDIES–When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave upreading. –Henny Youngman

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