ROGUE’S REPORT

Cops, Helmets And Budgets Collide

Organized by Rogue

CC: Ooops! Apparently disappointed and pissed off that they were unable to locate and bust “street racers” in Houston, the city cops offered K-Mart shoppers a texas-sized Blue Light Special and hauled in everybody they could find hanging around a K-Mart parking lot. Thirteen police officials have been suspended with pay in the wake of the arrests of 273 people at a Kmart and a burger stand, allegedly for loitering and trespassing. The police chief implied that officers should have refused the order to arrest people. The head of the police union seems to think the raid on hapless bystanders was justified because there are “no loitering” signs posted in the K-Mart parking lot.

This appears to be a pretty good example of a complete absence of common sense on the part of the cops. Leadership on the scene of the debacle included two Captains, two Lieutenants and a raft of sergeants. It seems to us that a citation was the way to go in this case, but the boys in blue opted to “cuff ’em up” and haul the crowd off to Central Booking. The city is now bracing for an onslaught of well deserved lawsuits, one of which has already been filed for $100 million. So far, no reports on whether or not Homeland Security will be invoked as a defense or if the cops will simply claim this event was “for the kids.”

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/topstory2/1552982

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CC: If you think the arrests in Houston were an isolated bit of police over-kill, wait until you read this. A New Hampshire police chief thinks his department should be permitted to seize a college dorm under the state’s forfeiture law because drugs were found there. He claims the dorm comes under the “Crack House” law. Good grief!

http://www.free-market.net/rd/277493920.html

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CC: If you’re still not sure of what the Patriot Act has done to decimate your civil liberties, this article gives a thumbnail sketch of how your personal freedom has gone down the shitter since last September.

http://insightmag.com/news/262278.html

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CC: Before it happened, experts warned that the feds shouldn’t be allowed to completely take over airport screening. They argued that private companies should be held to higher standards when hiring and training their employees. They foresaw major screw ups if federal employees – with federal supervisors – were to take over at the nation’s airports.

Well……. several billion dollars later, it appears the doomsayers were right. Not surprising is the fact that the feds are cutting corners and taxpayers are getting less service at a much higher cost.

The following article details how an “elite team” of TSA baggage screeners are on the job protecting the traveling public after only 15 minutes of training. The manufacturer of the equipment they’re using claims they should have had a minimum training period of 100 hours. The government claims there will be retro-training to bring the screeners up to speed. Meanwhile, we recommend taking the bus.

http://www.free-market.net/rd/824854090.html

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CC: It’s a rare occasion when we reprint a complete message from one of our subscribers. It isn’t because we have a policy against it. Rather, few of you send us something we feel should be shared with, and can be used by, thousands of your fellow readers. The following letter is one of those items we think everyone will appreciate. Hopefully, it may inspire you to write your elected representatives and ask for help in keeping the NHTSA focused on the problem.

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Dear Congressman Pastor,

My name is Mitchell Elder. I have lived in Arizona now for almost 15years. The Air Force brought me to Tucson to begin with and in threemonths I will retire with 21 years of active service. I plan onremaining here in Tucson to work and support my community as an activemember of the civilian population along with the retired military herein Southern Arizona. In addition to my affiliation with the UnitedStates Air Force, I am also an ordained minister and an avid motorcyclerider with over 30 years experience in the saddle.

I am very concerned about the NHTSA’s current agenda concerningmotorcycles and those of us who ride them. After spending 21 years inthe military, protecting the rights of Americans to make their ownchoices in life, it disturbs me to see federal agencies attempting tolegislate the daily lives of average taxpayers.

The NHTSA’s continued focus on legislating what riders wear is entirelythe wrong approach to public safety. I do not require laws designed toprotect me from myself. Further, the NHTSA’s failure to support ridertraining, coupled with a dramatic increase in motorcycle sales, has onlycontributed to an increase in rider accidents and deaths.Unfortunately, the raw statistics are presented by the NHTSA in such amanner as to suggest that mandated rider clothing (i.e., helmets, brightcolors, etc) is the answer.

This does not address the basic problem: rider AND driver ignorance.

I share the road with thousands of automobile drivers. Unlike me (Ihave attended annual motorcycle riding training on a regular basis sinceit was first made available) these drivers are never given additionaltraining on how to safely share the road with other vehicles, includingmotorcycles. As a result, these drivers continue to pull out, and makeleft-hand turns in front of motorcycles “they just didn’t see.”

They were never taught to look for us.

So over the years, the burden has been placed on the victim (the rider).

Now, the NHTSA wants to conduct more “safer crash” tests. This is aridiculous waste of taxpayer money. Since the NHTSA’s agenda – as isclearly shown by their consistent track record – is to manufacturelegislation designed to burden motorcyclists and the “synthetic”statistics to support said legislation, I fear that these tests willonly go toward the creation of more ill-conceived rules that will notprovide any measurable increase in safety for motorcycle riders butrather, will only serve to further burden them. In fact, the very ideaof “safer crashes” is ludicrous. Why not focus on crash avoidanceinstead?

I’ve crashed a motorcycle before – more than once – I’ve got the x-raysto prove it. My goal is always to avoid the accident in the first placeand they only way I can effectively do that, is to ride defensively. Itsure would be nice if I knew that the other riders and car drivers onthe road had had some education as well.

Congressman, the bottom line is this: if the NHTSA wants to perform avaluable public service, they should be focusing on education of ridersand drivers, not legislation. They should be supporting equity on thehighway, not placing burdens on a minority who simply choose analternate form of transportation. They should be recognizing thatoverall, motorcyclists are better educated users of the roads and aremore alert and aware than operators of other vehicles, instead oftreating us like pariah and attempting to legislate us out of existence.

Motorcyclists are not the enemy, ignorance is.

Please urge the NHTSA to address the real issues: rider and drivereducation and training, and leave the personal choices of individuals(rider clothing and gear) exactly where they belong – to the individual.

Thank you so much for your time. I hope I can count on your support toprotect the rights of individuals to choose freely how they will livetheir own lives.

Sincerely,

Mitchell Elder
“Ridin’ Reverend”
Tucson

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CC: Recently I was asked to participate in yet another charity run to help raise money for the victims of the World Trade Center disaster. I declined and the sponsor’s immediate reaction suggested that he thought I was a heartless bastard.

Well, I probably am. But beyond my natural tendency to gravitate toward helping critters (because they, unlike humans, cannot help themselves when they’re in a disaster situation), I have a problem with increasing what I can only define as the “windfall profits” that came from that horrible event. Maybe because of my current economic situation I’m a bit jealous, but I don’t think that’s all of it.

Perhaps your own feelings after you read the following article might better explain my position. Keep in mind, as you read this, that the family of a serviceman killed in Afghanistan will receive a flag, $200 toward his funeral and a very meager survivor’s benefit.

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ENRICHING SURVIVORS WAS A COSTLY MISTAKE
By Jeff Jacoby
The Boston Globe
August 29, 2002

Last week, the federal Victim Compensation Fund announced its first 25 awards to families of those who were killed on Sept. 11. The amounts offered were not uniform, but after taking into account the mandatory deductions for life insurance policies and pensions, the average award came to $1.36 million. That much income would ordinarily be taxable at the highest rate — currently, 38.6 percent. Thanks to legislation passed in January, however, the victims’ families will receive their awards tax-free. The same law also exempted Sept. 11 victims retroactively from income tax liability for 2000 and 2001. Any taxes they already paid will be refunded.

Last week’s awards were actually on the low side; according to Kenneth Feinberg, the special master overseeing the fund, the average net payout will ultimately be around $1.5 million. That is roughly 36 times the median US household income, and is considerably more money than the vast majority of American families will ever see. No amount of money, of course, could ever replace a murdered loved one. But as an expression of sympathy and support for those who suffered a devastating loss in the terrorist attacks, the federal victims fund was munificent in the extreme.

It was also a mistake.

The American people didn’t need the government’s help to demonstrate their compassion for the families of the Sept. 11 victims. Well before the law creating the federal compensation fund was passed, tens of millions of Americans had donated hundreds of millions of dollars for the benefit of those affected by the attacks. By now, the total raised by private charities is estimated at a mind-boggling $2.7 billion, more than half of which has already been distributed.

This torrent of private relief has not merely ensured that survivors can meet their mortgage payments and put food on the table. It has turned many of them into millionaires. USA Today reports that relatives of the New York police officers who died on Sept. 11 are receiving an average of $929,000 in charitable funds. The families of firefighters and ambulance crews are getting $1,037,000. All of these gifts are tax-free. (Surviving spouses of most rescue workers also receive a lifetime pension equal to the victim’s salary, plus a federal death benefit of $259,000 for public safety officers killed in the line of duty.)

To be sure, not every victim’s family has been enriched as lavishly as those of the emergency workers killed at Ground Zero. The charitable gifts received by other families have averaged only $146,000. But “only” $146,000 is hardly trivial, especially when it comes with no strings attached, when it is not taxed, and when it is in addition to any insurance, pension, or Social Security benefits the family is entitled to. And when more than $1 billion remains to be distributed.

Add to all this the billions of dollars’ worth of goods and services that have been donated to the victims’ families — from free financial planning for life by top Wall Street firms to the hundreds of free slots at children’s summer camps nationwide to the free gifts Tiffany’s will distribute next week at a baby shower for the 103 widows who have given birth since last September.

Never has the extraordinary generosity of ordinary Americans been more evident than in the months since Sept. 11. It wasn’t necessary for the government to get in on the act, let alone to shower the victims’ families with seven-figure jackpots. Those who lost a child, parent, or spouse in the attacks last fall suffered a terrible tragedy, and the hearts of decent people everywhere went out to them. But tragedy strikes American families every day, and their grief is not eased with million-dollar fortunes from the Treasury. Why should the families of Sept. 11 have been treated differently?

The Victims Compensation Fund was created in part to protect the airlines from being bankrupted by wrongful-death litigation; survivors who accept money from the fund are barred from filing suit. But the airlines were not to blame for the horrors of Sept. 11. Their losses that day, both human and financial, were staggering. If Congress wanted to shield them from catastrophic lawsuits, the way to do it was to cap their liability at $0.00, not to bribe the victims’ families with million-dollar awards.

With such huge sums of money at stake, the congressional fund has predictably led to feuds and ill will, as relatives of the dead fight over the federal largesse. It has inflamed greed, too. Many families now insist that the planned awards are not lucrative enough; others gripe that after insurance and pension proceeds are deducted, they will get nothing. (“Nothing,” in this case, means a quarter of a million dollars, which Feinberg says is the minimum payment guaranteed to virtually every victim’s family.)

Meanwhile, a corrosive precedent has been set for the future. The next time innocent victims die in a terrorist attack, their relatives will expect a handsome government payment. The next time *any* catastrophe strikes — terrorist or otherwise — there will be a clamor for federal compensation. But the worst consequence of all is that after the next disaster, fewer people will give willingly to private charity. Why donate to help stricken fellow Americans, they will reason, if Uncle Sam is going to make them rich anyway?

A Pandora’s box has been opened. It will not easily be closed.

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CC: With all of the rhetoric flying around about attacking Iraq (and the not-so-surprising news that Iraq is digging in, moving equipment and readying for the assault), we’re wondering why Congress just doesn’t simply reinstate the CIA’s authority to terminate with extreme prejudice. It seems to us there is a lot less risk, at least in the numbers of potential US casualties, to unleash a team of well trained special ops professionals on Sadaam.

Uh, wait a minute……we forgot. The US doesn’t have anyone so trained these days. Congress cut the CIA’s balls off years ago, thinking it’s not nice to over-throw the governments, or kill the leaders, of hostile nations.

Yep, sure makes sense to announce an impending attack well in advance and then commit tens of thousands of troops to go after an army on high alert. We suppose it just isn’t politically correct to use the element of surprise these days. Too bad the Japs didn’t play by the same rules sixty-odd years ago.

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BIKERS ALLOWED TO WEAR COLORS TO COURT, BIKERNET WORST DRINK AND NEW DEUCE

Continued From Page 3

SCREAMIN’ EAGLE DEUCE IS CUSTOM TIMES TWO–It’s Deuces Wild

In designing the Screamin’ Eagle Deuce, Harley-Davidson CVO sought to accentuate the long, low custom style of the Softail Deuce. A lowered front and rear suspension was installed, along with a front spoiler and a custom low-profile seat and pillion with chrome inserts. The bike rides on chrome slotted six-spoke wheels with a 21-inch front and a 17-inch rear. Special Centennial Gold and Vivid Black paint is detailed with 23K gold leaf graphics, and the frame and swingarm, air cleaner, timer, derby cover and fuel tank console inserts are color-matched in Centennial Gold.

The 2003 Screamin Eagle Deuce is the first Softail model to be the subject of a CVO project. Established in 1999, Harley-Davidson?s CVO program has produced low-volume, custom motorcycles using a handpicked team of technicians on a special assembly line at the Harley-Davidson plant in York, Pa. Approximately 3000 units of the 2003 Screamin’ Eagle Deuce will be produced.

SISTER MARY KATHERINE ENTERED THE MONASTERY OF SILENCE– The Priest said, “Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.”

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, “Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words.”

Sister Mary Katherine said, “Hard bed.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the Priest said, “We will get you a better bed.” After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest. “You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.”

“Cold food, “said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. “You may say two words today.”

“I quit,” said Sister Mary Katherine.

“It’s probably best”, said the Priest, “You’ve done nothing but bitch since you got here.”

–from Jill Z.

BIKERNET AUSTRALIAN CONNECTION BUYS 2003 SOFTAIL– “My new 2003 Anniversary Softail arrived today. TALK ABOUT A HARD-ON!!!!!”

–Ray Russell

FROM THE BIKERNET SCIENTIFIC DEPARTMENT–GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN ????Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa,half discovered, half wild, naturally beautifulwith fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America,well developed and open to tradeespecially for someone with cash.Between 31 and 35 she is like India, veryhot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France.Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia,lost the war, haunted by past mistakes.Reconstruction is now necessary.

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia,very wide and borders are unpatrolled.The frigid climate keeps people away.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia,has a glories and all conquering past, but no future.

After 70, they become Afghanistan. Mosteveryone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 15 and 80 a man is like Iraq – ruledby a dick.

–from Kevin R.

FEDERAL COURT RULES BIKER COLORS OKAY IN NEVADA COURTHOUSE– A Carson City courthousedress code that prohibits biker “colors” is unconstitutional, a federal appeals courtruled on Monday, August 26th, overturning a Northern Nevada judge’s ruling and findingthat motorcyclists can wear “biker colors,” even those with swastikas, inside thecourthouse.

For the whole story and more legislative headlines, check the Bikers Rights department of Bikernet.

AIRPORT SECURITY– Airport Security Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire aprivate investigator – Alan Pinkerton – for protection. That was the beginning ofthe Secret Service. Since that time federal police authority has grown to alarge number of multi-letter agencies – FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, etc.

Now comes the “Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service.”Can’t you see them now, these highly trained men and women in their blackoutfits with their initials in large white letters across their backs: “FATASS.” I feel safer already.

–from Thomas Conley

BIKERNET TERRORIST REPORT– Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult a psychic about the date of his death. Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future she finds the answer. “You will die on an American holiday.”

“Which one?” Osama bin Laden asks nervously.

“It doesn’t matter,” replied the psychic. “Whenever you die, it will be an American holiday!”

–from Catts

RIP Kenneth Robert Howard ~AKA ~ Von Dutch
Born 1929 – Died September 19, 1992—Pinstriping on cars and motorcycles was a dead art when 15-yr. old KennyHoward went to work in George Beerup’s motorcycle shop in the mid-forties.The last automobile striping on an American car was done by General Motorsin 1938. Then, in the mid-fifties, customizers brought it back in style inmostly radical form believing they were doing something entirely new! Kenny,the motorcycle mechanic was the man who started this “new” vogue under thename “Von Dutch.”

Dutch lived life hard. His bad habits eventually caught up with him, andhe developed a stomach abscess. He didn’t like doctors, but towards the end,the pain got so bad, he finally saw a doctor. By then it was too late. Dutchdied on the 19th of September, 1992.

In the next few days, we’ll have a full article on Von Dutch from one ofhis best friends, Bob Burns. Stay tuned.

BIKERNET SITE OF THE WEEK–About Harley five-speeds you must visit www.twistgear.net.We’re getting more and more positive reaction to the helical approach totranny gearsets. I’m adding content weekly, and will be for awhile, as wellas figuring out and refining the site itself.

Brand New! is SportGear, developed primarily for Buells but also fine forSportys. Info is still being collected, but anything relevant will eventuallyfind it’s way to the site. IronWorks is our second pub to do an install,December issue, and Ozbike just got their kit for install in the shop mule,a ’95 Road King.

We got a 2/3 page mention in last year’s Power and Performance, but itdidn’t really translate into anything consumers could make a judgementwith.

-JS

BIKERNET WORST DRINK AWARD–The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunkis Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night andconsists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen.It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

–from Ray Russell

WIDE SCREEN FILM FESTIVAL– Special Guest: Peter Fonda! – Easy Rider – WideScreen Film Festival!!! California Harley-Davidson/BuellProud Sponsor

Cal State University Long BeachWideScreen Film Festival!!!Featuring a WideScreen Presentation of the Classic Film:Easy Riderwith Special Guest: Peter Fonda!Tickets on Sale Now at California Harley-DavidsonFriday, October 4th6:00 to 10:00 p.m.$25.00 per person

ITINERARY:
* 5:30 p.m. Meet at California Harley-Davidson
* 6:00 p.m. Parade of bikes leave CaliforniaHarley-Davidson for CSULB
* 6:30-7:45 p.m. Dinner
* 7:55 p.m. Harley-Davidson Merchandise Raffle
* 8:00-10:00 p.m. Easy Rider screening/Q&A withPeter Fonda ?

Date of Event “Friday October 4th” – Tickets on Sale Now at California Harley-DavidsonOnly $25.00 per person – Tickets are limited !! ?

IT’S A WRAP–One comment though, before I head to the garage to tinker with the Road King. I received a clipping in the mail from a local paper. It was a citizen complaining in a letter to the editor about loud bikes in a restaurant district. I’m going to respond, and when you notice this shit do the same. This is a free country. There’s a lot of shit I don’t like, but I keep my mouth shut for that reason. If someone acts like a jackass, I’ll take it up with them not the cops, the newspaper or politcians. If some bastard wants to go out in public, he needs to deal with what the public has to offer not run to snitch everyone off. Look at what we are doing to one another. Kids can’t ride skateboards, people can’s smoke, we can’t make noise. Gimme a break. What’s next?

That’s it. Get involved, fight back and I’ll jump right down from the soap box, take another pain pill and chase that chick down the hall.

Ride Forever,

–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–OZARK ED RETURNS, WOMEN GET A VOTE, AND SCOTT JACOBS ABOUT TO LAUNCH NEW PRINT

Continued From Page 2

THE QUARTER–A dad walks into a market with his young son. The boy is holding aquarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face.The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking,and shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue businesssuit is sitting at a coffee bar inthe market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At thesound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down on thesaucer,neatly folds her newspaper and places it on the counter. Then she getsup from her seat and makes her way, unhurriedly, across the market.Reaching the boy, the woman pulls the boy’s pants down, carefully takes holdofhis testicles, and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever morefirmly.

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up thequarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing theboy, thewoman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in thecoffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects,the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her profusely,saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before. It wasfantastic. Are you a doctor?”

“No,” she says, “Divorce attorney.”

45 RAFFLE–Below is the info on the raffle involving this scoot. It doesn’t appear to be a upstanding deal, though. They will only take 5000 entries at $20 a shot which equals $100,000 grand, then donate only 10 grand to a charity. The bike can’t be worth over $20,000, that leaves someone with $70,000 profit. I’ll let you be the judge:

That’s right, you could win a 1942 Harley Davidson for $20.00.Just go to this link:http://www.rent-a-hubby-usa.com/page385940.htmCheck out the details and enter as many times as you like.Send $20.00 for each entry to RDG,ltd., PO Box 153308, Irving, Texas 75015Only the first 5000 entries will be accepted.10% of the profits will be donated to the local humane society.Enter as many times as you like and watch WALNEKS Cycle Magazine for the winners photo.

THE BIKE

A 1942 WLA Harley Davidson. 1st place winner, Roar at the Shore, Padre Island, Texas, in 2000.Fresh re-build on motor.Regularly serviced, runs great. Own a piece of history for $20.00. Remember only 5000 tickets will be accepted.

Good Luck,

Stephen
stephen.haley@attbi.com?

FREEDOM TO BUY CIGARETTES–That’s right… Now you can shop online, and get your smokes here at a huge discount! Choose from your favorite premium brands like: Marlboro, Winston, Camel. Save even more money with economy brands! Cigarettes are sold by the carton = equals 200 cigarettes! Price even includes free delivery!

Cigarettes 1 Carton $19.95 FREE Delivery
Online Discount Smoke Shop
http://www.coolforyou98.com

THE OZARK ED REPORT–Damnit, you knew it was going to happen. Titty bar Mike and Miss kitty brought my girl home Thursday night and she saw juvee girl’s car in my driveway. When I went on the titty bar tour Friday, EVERYBODY knew about me and her out together. Phillip was asking if I got it. Titty bar Mike was saying “she’s no good, don’t do it.” Skitzo Eric kept saying “you can tell me, man.” Only phillips girl defended me, which is strange because when me and juvee girl have talked about what people would think, we thought she would freak. Of course, no one really knows the whole deal. They think this was a freak chance opportunity that we took advantage of. They have no clue that this was a carefully planned thing that was only fucked up by the girls’ coming home early. Anyway, it’ll blow over. I just can’t have any more incidents AT ALL for a while, but for sure, if I get caught with juvee girl again I’m screwed.

I was on my best behavior this weekend, except for this cute little military girl who was in town for the weekend on national guard duty. She and some of her buddies came out to the club and she got herself really drunk. She was breaking some rules and I told her real nicely what she couldn’t do. Later she came in to the pool room and threw herself on me and was grinding her snatch into my business while saying she was so sorry for causing trouble. I looked over to the bar and there was my girl just fucking glaring at me. I raised both of my hands so she would know “it ain’t me”. But that started the whole “Seven days without a violation” over again.

She made some nasty comments about why can’t I just act right. anyway? Me and Titty bar Mike rode to hot springs for the HOG rally Saturday. What an old man dresserfest that was. No customs, no girls, no beer, just a bunch of guys standing around. We went to the titty bar, but it sucked. We went to little Bill’s shop, no one there. I bought me a 40 ounce Bud and slammed it, then rode the back way mountain road home. Man those curves are bad ass. Nothing like getting high and hammering some curves. Nothing exciting yesterday. Me and my girl took my little boat out on the river for a while and got rained on. It was fun but I could have done without the rain. gotta go. It’s Monday and I have plans.

–Ozark Ed

FROM THE BIKERNET ARCHIVES–The front and the back of the Enthusiast from June 1945 War years.

BIKERNET DARWIN AWARDS– Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sancheztried to wash his own “balls” in a ball washer at the local golf course.Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix.

Sanchez managedto straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much tohis dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on themachine with Sanchez’s scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in themechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsedand tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of theball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testiclesare in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link.

Sanchez’sscrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked fromhim forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle wascompressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer,and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez brokea new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and wasusing to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery,and the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course.

–from Rogue

WORLD RENOWNED HARLEY-DAVIDSON ARTIST, SCOTT JACOBS GATHERING–With the assistance of Chris Carr, Scott Parker and Jay Spingsteen, three of the most famous motorcycle racers in the world, Scott will unveil his painting depicting their crossing the line in a “photo finish” race at The Springfield Mile.

The opportunity of the Del Mar Races lends itself to this rare gathering.Along with these world famous racers, many other notable racers will be present. To name a few; Terry G. Poovey, Johnny A. Murphree, Joe J. Kopp, Kevin Atherton, Shaun Russell, and Rich King.Also attending are some of the biggest names in the motorcycle industry.

We’ll let you know when we find out more and can get a shot of his latest creation.

Continued On Page 4

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–CARIBBEAN WATER POISONS WRITER

Continued From Page 1

ARE YOU BORED?–1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Like all of us who use the internet I have been following some chat places,bike related, not “Tony the black Python” kind of forums, and after sometime I have realized that most of those places are home away from home tosome bored , ass tight jerks.Sure there is lots of information that can be gained by those, and 99% ofthe people are fellows with similar interests that get to “socialize” withothers, but there’s so much negative feedback everywhere it’s amazing! Iguess the stuff that is said (written) on those forums is pretty bold, boldbecause most are hidden in anonimity by some “nickname” or handle, stuffthat many of them would not dare tell anyone face to face. Bashing isrampant, they call names, ridicule, and critisize everything, from race tobike preferences, from magazines to bike builders and brands. Which I guessis cool since we are all entitled to an opinion, but you know what theysay, opinions are like assholes, everybody has one… But getting topersonal attacks to people you don’t know, it’s simply and act ofignorance. Get a fucking life!I would love to see one of these guys say the crap they write, forexample, to Jesse’s face, they will know the actual meaning of a knucklesandwich.

And now to the news……

There’s a new magazine coming up here in Puerto Rico, the name’s BikerSpot. I’ve had a couple meetings with them and I see good things. They havean interest in making it a top notch local mag. Where others have tried and failed,this one might succeed. Yes, you betcha, I will be writing editorials andarticles for them. Let’s see what happens.

I’ve got the info on all the stuff that’s going on Discovery, they arecalling the week-end of September 28th Bike Week end, The Biker Build off.Both of Jesse James motorcycle manias, Biker Women , American Chopper andMonster Garage on Monday.It’s great that our lifestyle is getting so much exposure…and aboutfucking time too !!!

It’s only a month to Biketoberfest, yeah….The Horse will have a partyonce more…can’t wait to see those cool choppers and our friends oncemore……

This week end is the Key West Poker run, so take your damn bike and headdown that beautiful road….We used to do this run, but it’s smack in the middleof hurricane season for us, not the smartest time to be away fromhome.

Man do I miss that place called Upstairs….. and all those southFlorida girls getting really wild on Duval….could do without the”factory” dudes with cooler than thou attitudes…well and the world couldbe a perfect place…..Sure.

For those of you that liked last weeks tribute to 9/11, Thank you, it wasmy honest opinion. To those who made fun of it…..Lick my Vanssoles……and use a real name so I can make fun of you too….

I want to wish Geno Diddy, the master playa’ mack daddy ball buster a HappyBirthday !!! I know it sucks turning seventy, just ask Bandit…..

Our Caribbean Custom Cycles chopper is in the works, and it’s almost areality. The first two frames are on the way…Will post stuff as soon as Istart putting those together…..Nope we are not riding on the bandwagon,for us choppers have never been out of style.

We are really happy with the way the web site has been working. Check it outwww.ChopperFreak.com. We have been adding stuff almost daily, but it’s getting there. We are doing somenew stuff all the time, so check it out…(as soon as Bandit get’s thosephotos…)

We are working on a new section for The Horse, sort of kinda an interviewthing….Keep your eyes peeled…. I’m trying to make it really funny…..let’s see……

Speaking of The Horse….yeah, yeah, I know the Horse again !!!! issue#27 has a cool article of one of our bikes and seems like #28 is going tobe even better…..

I’m still pushing the Chopper Freak shirts, and still will give apercentage of sales to Mike Pullin’s Run for Breath, so check our websiteand order some damn shirts !!!! Before everyone sees them on Discovery !I want to make those donations now so the can reach the $7,500mark….Let’s do it… ChopperFreak.com

Well, enough for this week, gotta save some stuff in order to be able tokeep my “acclaimed” status. one more thing. Bikernet has the power of agroup of “experts” in the motorcycle mechanics, Frank Kaisler, master of tech,Bandit, 70 years of experience, Crazy Horse, T Bear, Sin & Layla, who knowall about chicks and whips and so many others. Don’t be a fool, use it toyour advantage. Use Your Shot for technical questions (all are answered) and please post messages back if we sortedout your problems (so we know). Hell where else does will the Bandit buy a RoadKill, just to give readers new tech about EFI stuff…….No fukin’ elsewhere…..

See ya next week….time to take my red pills…..

Jose Caribbean, webmaster, chopper builder, sales manager, the Horse,Biker Spot, Bikernet reporter……

97 Days Left Till Christmas– And you were hoping I wouldn’tremind you of that. Sorry folks, but facts are facts and Christmas is rightaround the corner.

Last week I promised we would have new art prints in the Gulch and we do!Chris Kallas, featured below the news in Special Reports and Interviews, hasa new print called “Chopper Heaven”. Now you can purchase it right here onBikernet.com in the Gulch.

O.K., your thinking to yourselves, I really don’t care for artwork but Ido like to read, well hop on over to the book section for Sam “Orwell”Chopper. A great biker fiction novel that you won’t be able to read fastenough or put down. Now, I’m not just saying that because I’m boinking theAuthor, I read it and really enjoyed it.

We also carry the full line of HA Leather products, the best leatherjackets and vests anywhere. Joe and Lori really take care of theircustomers, going out of their way to make sure you get a perfect fit. Check’em out!

(Bandit trying to look cool!)

Now you’re thinking, I wish this bitch would go away so that’s enough ofthe ole’ pump and grind from me. I’ll be back next week to harass you somemore and I know you just can’t wait!

Take care,
Layla

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–EPA AND MOTORCYCLES, COLORS ALLOWED IN COURT, NEW HARLEYS AND MORE

Movie still from Angels Die Hard from 1970 thanks to Bob T.

This is one of those stinking days. I had a root canal on Tuesday because I ran out of Jack Daniels and pain killers on Monday. I was crawling the walls. Since the operation I’ve been in a daze trying to decide if I’m high or in pain. Sin Wu strolled into the shop, bouncing on lickable toes and flashed a new teddy in my direction under her robe. All I could ponder was that at the beginning of the week I had one terrible tooth ache and now my entire jaws throbs. Besides I said, “Aren’t you flying through your evil spell of the month, beautiful?”She dropped her robe right in front of me and snapped, “does it look like it?” Damn, she was wearing that silky Victoria Secret teddy without another damn thing… We better get to the news:

THE EPA AND MOTORCYCLES–On Wednesday, August 14, 2002 the EPA officially released a notice of proposed rulemaking for the ?Control of Emissions From Spark-Ignition Marine Vessels and Highway Motorcycles?. What does this mean to us?

For quite some time now, whenever the subject of the EPA attacking the motorcycling community, the responses most heard were ?they?ve been saying that for years?, ?it will never happen here? or ?they?ll never do that?! ?

Well. It?s here. If you have any doubts, go check out the new bikes and see how they?re equipped. A lot of them, about 20%, have catalytic converters now. For instance, Honda advertises that the 2003 ST1300 meets CARB (California Air Research Board) standards for 2008. It also has two catalytic converters. The EPA is proposing that these standards be enforced nationwide even though they are not needed. At the present time, motorcycles only account for .06 percent of motor vehicle emissions nationwide.

So what?s the problem? The big problem is that the average independent shop or small volume bike builder usually doesn?t have the resources to build a motorcycle that will be able to meet these strict standards. And modifying new motorcycles built to meet these standards is illegal. In a press release, the EPA served us notice that ?Motorcycle owners may make cosmetic changes such as the color and chrome?. The existing, but largely un-enforced ?Clean Air Act? prohibits any ?tampering? with emission control devices. For instance, it?s illegal to drill out the little plug that covers the idle-mixture screw on current carbureted bikes. It?s also why Harley puts a little asterisk next to a lot of the Screamin? Eagle parts designating that they are for race use only (wink, wink).

Enforcement will be a big part of the strict EPA standards. Simply put, the EPA has only two ways of seeing that the Clean Air Act is obeyed – device or decree.

Device – One example of a device is the aforementioned plug blocking an idle mixture screw. Other examples that have been discussed are, for example, shear bolts that break off when somebody attempts to remove an exhaust pipe and sealed engine assemblies that need to be returned to the manufacturer for repair. Imagine not being able to take a set of cylinders to your local machine shop to be bored, not being able to have valve and port work performed, and not even being allowed to install even a mild performance camshaft.

Decree ? Simply put, making it ?against the law? which is what the ?Clean Air Act? already does. I foresee it being enforced by having to have motorcycles ?certified? before they can be registered by emission control facilities manned by the same nice government employees that grant us our driving licenses and that operate the ?Commercial Vehicle Enforcement? agency. If you happen to drive a truck in Iowa you know exactly whom I mean and that they have one thing – ?authority?. Imagine them telling you your bike doesn?t meet emission standards and while they?re at it, telling you it?s too loud.

These proposed rules are just that, proposed. We have a chance to prevent them from going into effect. As part of our legislative agenda for the past year we have sought support from our legislators to issue a ?resolution of disapproval?. There is a public hearing in Ypsilanti, Michigan on September 17th. Vice President of Government Relations for the Motorcycle Riders Foundation Tom Wyld will be there to represent our interests. You can help protect motorcycling, as we know it, by supporting ABATE of Iowa and the MRF. For more information go www.mrf.org.

Ride Safe, Ride Proud, Ride Free!

–Tim Nelson
iaxlcustom@aol.com

BIKERNET MEDICAL REPORT–In the year 2001, five times more money was spenton breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer’s research.

Presumably, we can predict that in thirty years, there will bea great number of people walking around with huge breastsand erections, unable to remember what to do with them.

–from Rogue

BIKE ARTIST FOUND–Several years ago I was looking for a particular artist to illustrate one of my book covers. In an effort not to be found he ran to South America. Well I finally dug him up on the corner of downtown San Jose in a Costa Rican coffee shop. He’s been duck-taped and loaded aboard a tramp freighter for shipment back to the states where he will illustrate my next book cover.

Bikernet undercover agents are responsible for locating the scoundrel who painted the above painting. Check out some of Dave Rodrigues art on the following site:http://www.geocities.com/outlawoicu812/carandbikeart

PAUGHCO’S REVOLUTIONARYNEWTAPERED LEG SPRINGERS–The world’s oldest, largest and most popular line of custom and OEM style Springer front ends just doubled in size! Paughco has completely reengineered their original designs in developing a new line fit with OVAL TAPERED REAR LEGS! Stronger and more closely resembling original OEM springers, the new Paughco front ends are available in a mind boggling collection of styles and sizes. Tapered leg models can be ordered in traditional Wide springer styles fit with or without the factory style shock. Or, you can order Paughco’s popular Narrow Springer, once again with the new tapered rear legs. All models are offered in lengths ranging from stock up to 21- over in increments of 3-inches. Finished in Paughco’s legendary in-house chrome, the new TAPERED LEG SPRINGERS can be found at http://www.paughco.com”

SOMEONE HAD TO BRING UP A DENTIST AGAIN–Nina completed four weeks of dental restoration with the dentist… She confided to her best friend Rosey that she had fallen in love with her dentist and she was going to propose to him.

Rosey said, “Nina, you’re 34 years old, you’re beautiful, you have dozens of men that adore you. Why is this dentist THE man for you?”

“Because,” explained Nina, “he is the first man that ever said to me — ‘SPIT, don’t SWALLOW’.”

–from Rogue

FIREFIGHTER REPORT–The world over has tremendous respect for firemen, but there’s always one bad egg, and he’s a pal of mine. The bastard has wanted a bike for a couple of years but can’t decide on what to ride. Here’s the lastest: “I ended up NOT getting the Firefighter Special H-D….I did not like the color….but the Paul Yaffi “Fallen Angel” is for sale by private party for $34K obo….wadaya think ?” Joe.

What do I think? He’s nuts. First the firefighter specials are cool Road Kings that the factory created special deals on for firemen. It would be a good rider for a long time to come. Second, Paul Yaffee is a friend and a master builder, but Joe is a monster of a man and wouldn’t fit this sleek sled. I’m beginning to think Joe likes bikes but is afraid to ride. I’ve been trying to get him to meet Paul. The Phoenix builder could build him a chopper that would fit.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON’S 100TH ANNIVERSARY SEAT COLLECTION HELPS RIDERS GET BACK IN THE SADDLE– Harley-Davidson Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories unveils new gloss black accessories for select Touring and Softail model motorcycles. If you’re looking for a good Harley-Davidson 100th Anniversary accessory think Bad.

The 100th Anniversary Badlander Seats from Harley-Davidon Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories offer sleek seating for anyone looking to add a little centennial style to their Harley-Davidson. With low, lean styling, the Badlander seats fit your bike (and your butt) better than any other seat on the market. Each one includes a passenger grab strap and is accented with a recessed prismatic Harley-Davidson 100th Anniversary logo to proclaim your Centennial pride.

The Badlander Seat for V-Rod (P/N 53309-03) is a two-piece seat and pillion combination that follows the strong lines of the V-Rod’s saddle form. It fits ’02 and later VRSC models and has a suggested U.S. retail price of $229.

The Badlander Seat for Sportster (P/N 53302-03) has a lower seat height, which adds comfort and confidence for the rider with a shorter inseam. The clean custom seat has a seat width of 12 inches and a passenger pillion width of 5 inches. It fits ’83 and later XL models and has a suggested U.S. retail price of $209.

The Badlander Seat for Dyna (P/N 53303-03) flows from the tank to the rear fender and has a seat width of 11 inches and a passenger width of 5 inches. The seat fits ’96 and later Dyna models and has a suggested U.S. retail price of $209.

The Badlander Seat for Softail (P/N 53304-03) is low and lean, providing an ideal seat height for ?low-riders. The seat includes an integrated chrome rear mounting bracket and has a seat width of 11.5 inches and a pillion width of 5.5 inches. It fits ’00 and later Softail models (except FXSTD and FLSTS) and has a suggested U.S. retail price of $209.

The Badlander Seat for Deuce (P/N 53305-03) was created to be a historic addition for a renaissance vehicle. This complete package includes all of the necessary mounting hardware and fits ’00 and later FXSTD models. The Deuce version has a seat width of 12 inches and a pillion width of 6.5 inches. Suggested U.S. retail is $209.

The Badlander for Road King (P/N 53312-03) is generously sized for long-riding comfort. With a seat width of 12.25 inches and a pillion width of 4.5 inches, the Road King version fits all ’97 and later FLHR/C/I models and has a suggested U.S. retail price of $219.

The Badlander for Electra Standard or Road Glide (P/N 53311-03) delivers low-slung cruiser comfort from the dash console to the rear fender. The seat width is 12.5 inches and the passenger pillion measures 4.5 inches. The seat fits ’97 and later FLHT models and ’97 and later FLTR/I models and has a suggested U.S. retail of $219.

In addition to the Badlander Seats, Harley-Davidson Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories is also offering 100th Anniversary Backrest Pads for a large variety Harley-Davidson models. Adorned with the same 100th Anniversary logo as the Badlander seats, the backrests are easy to install and are designed for a perfect Genuine fit. They provide your bike with the perfect finishing touch and your passengers with the added support they need for extended riding.

Continued On Page 2

COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists(AIM) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the LawOffices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE, or visitus on the web at www.ON-A-BIKE.com.

COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS
Compiled & Edited by Bill Bish,
National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM)

NATION’S CAPITOL QUIET, EXCEPT FOR MOTORCYCLES It was a quiet day on Capitol Hill onSeptember 11th, until a hearty group of motorcycle riders roared across the Potomac aftertraveling more than 3,000 miles and collecting $1 million to help the families of 9/11victims.

A year ago, smoke from the Pentagon cast a shadowy pall over the Capitol, but onWednesday a picture-perfect blue sunlit sky greeted the riders as they gathered for aPentagon Memorial.

“The nation is back on its feet and we’re doing the hard work of trying to help thesepeople who lost their family members try and put their lives together and to fight thewar that needs to be fought so this can never happen again,” Representative ChristopherCox told the 75 riders gathered at the base of the Capitol dome. Cox, R-Newport Beach,traded his business suit in for jeans and a leather vest as he rode out to join themotorcyclists for the ride into the city.

“I’ve completed my mission,” Mitch Morrison of Newport Beach told the Orange CountyRegister. As chairman of the Word Trade Center Miracles Foundation, Morrison organizedthe ride when fund raising began to ebb several months after the attacks.

Wearing black leather vests with an American flag and the words “Let’s Roll” on the back,the motorcyclists have stopped in communities along the way, picking up contributions andother riders during their cross-country pilgrimage.

FEDERAL COURT RULES BIKER COLORS OKAY IN NEVADA COURTHOUSE A Carson City courthousedress code that prohibits biker “colors” is unconstitutional, a federal appeals courtruled on Monday, August 26th, overturning a Northern Nevada judge’s ruling and findingthat motorcyclists can wear “biker colors,” even those with swastikas, inside thecourthouse.

The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals tentatively canceled a ruling by U.S. DistrictJudge Philip Pro and ruled that a ban on such garb in a Carson City court buildingviolated First Amendment rights of expression.

Circuit Judge William Fletcher, writing for a three-judge panel, said restrictions thatled to the arrests of motorcyclists who refused to take their jackets off at thecourthouse were unreasonable.

The ruling applies to areas of court buildings except for courtrooms where, Fletchersaid, judges can impose restrictions to ensure “a reasoned resolution of issues.”

But he said there was nothing to show that extending a ban on biker clothing to hallwaysor other non-courtroom areas “can plausibly be justified by the need to protect thecourtroom environment itself.”

The judge also said there’s no evidence to conclude that, “clothing indicatingaffiliation with biker organizations is particularly likely to be disruptive orintimidating.”

Citing 1985 and 1971 U.S. Supreme Court cases on First Amendment rights, Fletcher addedit’s not reasonable “to prohibit speech in courthouse hallways merely because it mayoffend some people’s sense of decorum.” There was no evidence of any danger created bythe bikers’ jackets and so the rules seem to be “impermissibly motivated by a desire tosuppress a particular point of view,” the judge said.

The controversy began with the March 2001 arrests of Scot Banks and Steve Dominguez ofReno when they appeared at the courthouse to contest a traffic citation and were told bysecurity officers that they couldn’t wear their swastika-decorated Branded Few M/C clubcolors inside. After refusing to remove their vests or leave, they were arrested fortrespassing and their vests were confiscated.

Two weeks later, ten other bikers were cited for the same offense when they came to themen’s hearing to show their support and also refused to take their jackets off or leavethe premises.

Those cited wore vests that carried a variety of symbols, including an angel over thebackground of a Christian cross and the American flag.

One of those bikers, Rick Eckhardt of the Christian motorcycle club His Royal Priesthood,told the Reno Gazette-Journal that the dress code discriminates against motorcycle ridersby limiting what they can wear in a public building. “It’s very important that we’reable to enter the federal building and the courthouse, especially if we have a hearing togo to or need to go to court in support of one of our friends,” said Eckhardt. “We justwant the same rights everyone else has to go to court and be heard.”

They all pled innocent and then challenged the constitutionality of the court’s dresscode rules before going to trial on the trespassing charges, said lawyer Kevin Karp, whois representing the bikers on the criminal charges. Karp is the Northern Nevada A.I.M.(Aid to Injured Motorcyclists) Attorney, and serves as legal counsel to the NorthernNevada Confederation of Clubs.

“The court did the right thing,” said Karp, who has contacted the District Attorney torequest dismissal of the trespassing charges in light of the federal court’s decision. “This issue has started to arise in other parts of the country where courthouses aretrying to ban biker apparel, and we hope this decision stops those restrictions dead intheir tracks.”

SUPREME COURT DECLINES TO HEAR HELMET CASE The United States Supreme Court has declinedABATE of Georgia’s application for a hearing on the constitutionality of the state’s”protective headgear” law.

According to ABATE State Director Dan Rathbun, “They only gave a one-sentence statement,with no reason stated on why they chose not to hear our case. They don’t have to give areason, and chose not to. Our attorneys stated that they only choose to review about 2%of the case brought to them, and we fell into the other 98%.”

Rathbun went on to say, “This brings an end to what has been an interesting experience. There is nowhere else we can go with this on a legal front. But you can bet your buttthat we got a lot of folks attention under the gold dome. There have been more than afew legislators who have come by and said that they did not realize how organized we areand that we had grown enough to be able to do this. So now that they know we are a forceto be reckoned with, we need to keep after those folks at the Capitol.”

“As we have exhausted any legal efforts at present, the political arena is where we willneed to focus our energy,” summed up Rathbun.ER of Dallas

HELMETS FOR EVERYBODY Safetycrats are at it again, as the governor of California hassigned into law a bill approved by the state legislature mandating helmets for kids whoride, practically anything.

Senate Bill 1924 by State Senator Jack O’Connell (D-San Luis Obispo) says that anyone 18years old and younger must wear headgear when riding any non-motorized scooter,skateboard or in-line skates, extending the existing bicycle helmet law to such popularwheeled toys.

Other states, including Rhode Island, Maryland, New Jersey and New York, already havesimilar laws on the books. Helmets already are required for bicycle riders 18 years oldand under, and they are also mandatory in all youth baseball leagues and in other youthsports such as football and hockey. And, of course, California is one of 20 states thatrequire all motorcyclists to wear helmets.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, skateboard-related injuries in 2000 wereresponsible for 50,000 emergency room visits and 1,500 hospitalizations. The ConsumerProduct Safety Commission states that nationwide there were 40,500 scooter-relatedinjuries treated in emergency rooms in 2000.

ABATE of California mounted a letter writing campaign against the bill, and testifiedagainst it in both houses, “But, of course, anything to protect the children?” said ABATELegislative Director Jean Hughes, sarcastically explaining the legislature’s reasoning inenacting the new helmet law.

“It is interesting to note the hypocrisy of this particular piece of legislation,”continues Hughes, “Now, a 19 year old skateboarder can decide how to dress himself, but a40 year old biker can’t.”

MASSACHUSETTS APPROVES HANDICAP PLATES FOR MOTORCYCLISTS Until now, Rick “Bubba” Youngof Palmer, Mass., an amputee, could park his truck but not his motorcycle in designatedhandicap parking spaces.

On Saturday, September 7, 2002 at Tibby’s Harley-Davidson dealership in Springfield, theDeputy Registrar of Motor Vehicles Steve Sebestyen presented two local residents thefirst issue of handicap registration plates for motorcyclists who qualify, announced JimiRicci, chairman of the Massachusetts Motorcycle Association and a member of the NationalCoalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) board of directors.

Bubba and other handicap riders and members of the motorcycle association, have beenfighting over eight years, for equal assess and “equity” to be able to park theirmotorcycles in handicap spaces. But until now, it’s been against the law.

Last month Governor Jane Swift signed into law House Bill 4099, an act authorizing theRegistry of Motor Vehicles to issue such “equity plates” to motorcyclists who qualify.

“When the international access symbol was first issued in 1978, I think it was just anoversight and preconceived opinion a person with a handicap couldn’t ride a motorcycle,”said Paul W. Cote, the Association’s Legislative Director. “However, to those with somehandicap, riding a motorcycle is one of the greatest freedoms.”

WEIRD NEWS OF THE MONTH: WEIGHTY EXAMINERS TOO HEAVY FOR MOTORCYCLE TESTS Motorcycletests in a Norwegian town were postponed because the available examiners were too heavyto ride tandem. All the thin examiners at Elverum Traffic Station were away on summervacation, and those left on duty to put people through the light motorcycle test weightoo much. The license regulations include a maximum load that assumes the driver weighs165 lbs. A tandem passenger who breaks the limit by himself isn’t allowed, reports theAftenposten newspaper.

Examiner Bjoern Mellembakken, who weighs 202 lbs, says the station only has three peoplewho are light enough to accompany learners during the practical test. He said: “This isa problem for us in general. We’re big guys.” He said he doesn’t foresee diets or liposuction being used to reverse the trend.

QUOTABLE QUOTE: “Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absoluterejection of authority.”

THOMAS HUXLEY, Scientist (1825-1895)

AND NOW FOR THE GUNNY’S SACK

This might be a last reminder to make your plans to come to Portland, Oregon for theupcoming West Coast Regional Conference of the National Coalition Of Motorcyclists, NCOM.

Come in on Friday night, November 1st, and the main action runs all day Saturday,November 2nd. Reserve your room NOW at the NCOM rate of only $69 a night, at theDOUBLETREE HOTEL, 1401 N. Hayden Island Dr. Call 503-283-2111. That’s about $40 a nightoff their cheapie rate! Call that number too, for the FREE airport shuttle. TheConference is free to all bikers. Saturday night is the party with LIVE MUSIC to topthings off, and a no-host bar right there. The hotel is also fully equipped.

Those of you in the West who for whatever reason can’t get to the big nationalconventions: make an effort to come see us! It’s in our back yard. Co-Sponsors are AIM,BikePAC of Oregon, ABATE of Oregon, and the Oregon Confederation of Clubs.

You can expect to LEARN a ton at the seminars, and be more effective in your localmotorcycle rights issues. Yours truly will be there, along with NCOM and AIM founderRichard Lester, AIM attorneys Sam Hochberg, Marty Fox, and many, many more.

These conferences are there for all the biker leaders as well as troops from all over theWest who feel the same way we do about our basic freedoms. FREEDOM ain’t free folks, andwe need to spend the time it takes to maintain it. A good friend of mine and fellowfreedom fighter Lil’ Jimmy Rouse, recently deceased, rest his soul, said: “If we don’thang together we’ll sure as hell hang by ourselves.”

As it happens, Lil’ Jimmy is another of those so dear to me that inspired me to continuein this never ending contest for our rights in this great country of ours. Almost dailynow we lose some of our most powerful members of this group. We should actively recruitYOUNG people to forge ahead with our ideals and notions of right and wrong or we will oneday not have folks to carry on the ideals of our forefathers. That scares the skivviesoffa me folks. That’s why Lil’ Jimmy was one of my heroes.

MORE HEROES: Continuing with my thoughts from the last Sack about the terrific peopleI’ve known in the biker world, there are many folks that come to mind, but y’can’t missSPUTNIK from Texas. Almost single-handedly, he set up the network that eventually took agreat deal of power in the Texas Democratic Party. He went home from an NCOM Conventionone year and went to work for his people, the bikers of Texas. This man wears out tireson his bike before the bluing comes off the sidewalls. He rides more than a 100,000miles a year, and he’s a true freedom Warrior. He is also a recent recipient of NCOM’sRon Roloff Lifetime Achievement award. There are many more biker heroes, and I want tocontinue to talk about them from time to time, right here in Sack-land.

MORE ON TV: And morons on TV, too. Sam Hochberg, our AIM Attorney, saw some and reportson it. He WAS a news guy, a disk-jockey and a radio talk-show host, y’know. Here’s hisreport: SAM here! So, a few Sundays back, I was sitting in my recliner, laptop on my lapand online while my wife and I had the TV on. The regular modern man. Well I’m staringat god-knows-what on my computer screen when I hear a motorcycle on TV, on the HBO show,”Sex in the City.” So I pop my head up, and there’s “Carrie’s” new maybe-beau, trying toride what looked like a Yamaha cruiser. He’s wearing a FULL-face helmet, he’s barelyever ridden, he almost drops it and he nearly hits the pavement. Next thing I hearCarrie is worried about problems with this guy, and says “They oughta have a helmet lawfor relationships!” An innocent enough, almost-funny quip, but it DOES betray a mediamind-set now, doesn’t it?

NEWS BITS’N PIECES: MILWAUKEE, WIS. : 2003 signals the 100th anniversary of America?sbeloved Harley-Davidson motorcycle. It’s gonna be a year-long celebration all over thecountry. Be sure you get in on the fun. Watch your local news media for coverage ofevents in your town. WOW! 100 years old. Some landmark. Finally, something evenolder’n me!

SANTA MONICA, Calif.: According to reports from the Associated Press (AP), KeithEmerson’s custom motorcycle, hand-painted with cover art from his band’s 1973 album”Brain Salad Surgery,” was stolen from his home.

Emerson played keyboard with the group Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. This is a $60,000scoot. Guess even the wealthy get ripped off.

VILNIUS, Lithuania: This AP story brings back memories from days long passed. To slowdown the traffic, the cops in Lithuania thought it would be great to set up woodencutouts of cops riding scoots alongside some highways. They seem to have pretty nastytraffic problems there, especially around schools and other high density areas. Wellsir, they tried that in the US once years ago, and the same damned thing happened: Peoplewent and STOLE the cutouts! Can’t say it wouldn’t be an attractive little item to own inyour garage or clubhouse, can y’imagine? Your own cardboard or wood cutout of a cop on abike?! I love it! Not that I’d be one to encourage theft, mind you.

GUNNY AGAIN: Remember as always that our Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (AIM) Attorneysacross this great land all RIDE and they know our world. Ole’ Sam Hochberg here has beenon all kinds of scoots since 1971, and he isn’t about to stop, either. These guysnetwork all the time so you aren’t getting the use of just ONE brain when you put one ofthese fine folks to work for your best interests. They are the people that care about usand take good care of us when we’re hurt in ANY kind of wreck, or in trouble. Be sureand consider their value to you when you need an attorney. Call AIM – Aid to InjuredMotorcyclists – at 1-800-531-2424, or 1-800-ON-A-BIKE, for good free advice. SamHochberg here in Oregon is at 503-224-1106 or toll free at 1-800-3447-1106.

THE WEBSITE: NCOM and AIM would like to extend a warm welcome to Hawk, from NCOM membergroup Sons of Liberty Riders (SOLR), as our webmaster, and he’s keeping that cyber-shiprunning ship-shape. Go point your browser to www.aimncom.com, or the new address, sameplace: www.ON-A-BIKE.com – either address will gitcha there. Hell, even this old dog haslearned some new tricks, and you can find ME by email at AIMGunny@aol.com, or email Samat SamBikeLaw@aol.com – let us know your thoughts or concerns about the Sack,motorcycling, or for more info on the upcoming conference – and I hope I’ll SEE YOU ALLhere in Portland, Oregon for our NCOM Regional, Nov. 2nd!! By the way, in the last SackI erroneously stated that the NCOM West Coast Conference would be the second weekend inNovember, and I hope nobody was inconvenienced.

Keep the round side on the bottom,
Gunny, Oregon AIM Chief of Staff

Continued From Page 3

Photo from Bob T.

BILLY LANE, ROGER BOURGET AND JOSE HIT DISCOVERY–These dates were just confirmed from Discovery for our show – tentativelytitled “The Great Biker Build Off.” The Discovery web site will have moreinformation posted in the next few weeks. These are, as always, subject tochange, but we are fairly certain the premiere date will not change.

Biker Build-Off Air Dates
September 28 10pm
September 28 2am
December 23, 9pm
December 23, 12am
December 28, 5pm

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS, JUST READ IT– Remember the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”? Well,here’s a prime example offered by an English professor at an AmericanCollege. (Professor)”Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.”

The following was actually turned in by two English students: Rebecca-last name deleted, and Gary – last name deleted.

STORY:(first paragraph by Rebecca)At first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. Thechamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadronnow in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think aboutthan the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie withwhom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. “A.S. Harris toGeostation 17”, he said into his transgalactic communicator. “Polarorbit established. No sign of resistance so far…” But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he feltone last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman whohad ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped itspointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.”Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,”Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneouslyexcited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of heryouth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with nonewspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense ofinnocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. “Why must onelose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu’udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu’udrian ships were on course for Earth,carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.

The lithiumfusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. “We can’t allow this! I’m going to veto that treaty! Let’s blow ’em out of the sky!”

(Rebecca)This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. Mywriting partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)Yeah? Well, you’re a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts atwriting are the literary equivalent of Valium. “Oh shall I havechamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Ohno, you’re such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steelenovels.”

(Rebecca)Asshole.

(Gary)Bitch.

(Rebecca)W*nker.

(Gary)Slut.

(Rebecca)Get fucked.

(Gary)Eat shit and die.

(Rebecca)FUCK YOU – YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

(Gary)Go drink some tea – whore.

(Professor)A+ – I really liked this one.

YEAH, HERE’S ANOTHER ONE–A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going tomake you the happiest woman in the world”

The woman says, “I’ll miss you.”

–from the Queen

H-D 100TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION CONTINUES–Boy, we had a great OPEN HOUSE Weekend! If you came, Thank You so much for making the event really huge!!

The celebration of Harley-Davidson’s first 100 years continues. This Saturday September 14th from 9:00 am to 6:00 pm, the Harley-Ford Truck Road Tour will be at Wild Fire Harley-Davidson/Buell, 120 W North Ave, Villa Park, IL, 60181/630 834 6571.

See the Harley-Ford Trucks, and get special pricing and financing on Ford trucks.

There will be free food and beverages, live music; And Oakfield Ford of Villa Park will be giving away a Ford Truck…FREE, $100 Gift Certificates to Wild Fire and more free prizes!!!

As a special bonus…remember, for the Month of September, Harley-Davidson 100th Anniversary Merchandise will be 20% off!! So stock up on 100th Anniversary stuff and save big.

Ride Safe & Live Free
Ozzie
CEO-Dealer Principal

OKAY WE GET A SHOT GUYS–CHEMICAL PROPERTIES OF WOMAN–

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer: Adam
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lowerconcentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal fluctuations.

Physical Properties:
a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties:
a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Uses:
a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it’s too hot.

Tests:
a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution:
a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.

What A Sick Thought– There are 110 days left till Christmas, areyou ready? If your answer was “fuck no”, I’m with you brothers andsisters. I’ll tell you what though; I’m doing my shopping on-line thisyear. No hassles with lines, psycho shoppers or screamin’ kiddies runningaround slopping snot and ice cream all over department stores.

Right here in our Gulch is everything you could possibly need for theBiker on your Christmas list. Leathers, books, artwork, parts, clothes.Hell, you can even buy a BYOB from Chrome Specialties!

---

“VISIT BIKERNET GULCH FOR ALL YOUR BIKE NEEDS”

SELECT A SHOP ABOVE
OR SIMPLY CLICK HERE!
FOR EVEN MORE SELECTIONS!

When you’re finished reading the news, take a little time and check outthe Gulch. Browse thru the HA & Crime Inc. shop for the coolest of T’s andthe finest of leather products.

Check out Joker Apparel for tiny-little thongs for your gal, and bad-assshirts for yourself.

While you’re at it, right below the Gulch you can click for even moreselections like Bikernet Originals. There’s things in there you won’t findanywhere else. K. Randall’s Ball’s latest book, Sam “Chopper” Orwell wouldbe a perfect item to stock up on for last minute gift giving to unexpectedguests.

O.K., that’s enough crap I’ll shove at you for this week, but I’ll beback again and you can bet on it. The countdown to pleasure is in affecttill Bandit finishes the news. When we hear him holler down the hallway,”pour me a fuckin’ Jack”, we know it’s playtime!

Layla

MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED–Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.

–from Ray R.

NEWS FROM CENTURY MOTORCYCLES–Thought you might need some fresh material to throw at these wonderful men. Treat ’em like Linoleum. Lay them right the first time, and you can walk all over them for life…..Just kidding you about the material. Hell lawless, you can tell a guy to go Fuck Yourself and still have class. I am proud of the fact that you speak it like it is. No, guessing. Do we sound like biker bitches out of Orwell???? What do they sound like, and I want to audition for when the movies start coming out. I will need a job and I?can act. I was married once…..the second time I got married was just to give the kids and I a last name…

–Huzzy Won

ANOTHER SHOT–What is the similarity betweena woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?????

By the time you’ve finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

OKAY, THAT’S IT–Let’s hit the road. I’ve got one more tip for today. I’ve come to the conclusion that chrome on pipes is a waste of time and money. No more chrome on pipes, I’m jet hot coating mine from now on. There’s a company in Los Angeles who handles mine. Engineered Applications in Vernon, California jet hots pipes in silver or flat black. Above is an example. They will never change. I had my Buell stainless header system polished and silver jet hot coated–See what good that did for me? They are looking into more colors in the future. For info call (323) 585-2894 and ask for beautiful Blanca Reyes, the general manager.

Damn, I tried to get the news completed before Sinwu slipped out the door for her martial arts lesson. Layla’s in the back someplace with that blond devil with the bright blue eyes. I’m outta Jack Daniels. The evening is ruined. Next week we dive into the Amazing Shrunken FXR project and start tinkering with the Road King. In the meantime I’ll either ask our celebrity Jose for a loan so I can pick up a fresh bottle of Jack, or go panhandle out side the Mexican restaurant next to the harbor. Gotta have my fix. Ride forever–Bandit.

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–NEW READER’S SHOWCASE, OZARK BLUES, BIG ISLAND RUN, AND JOSE’S TRIBUTE TO 9/11

Continued From Page 2

NEWSFLASH!!!!! FROM CRAZYHORSE — Late summer is slow cos guys are riding, drinking, and recovering, notsitting in front of the puter hiding from the cold. I currently have a nastyhead cold, so no one’s is kissing me.Here’s my contribution to the News:

FLASH! Custom Painter finishes all paint jobs on time for a change.That’s right folks, I’m all caught up, got my two Sturgis bikes done in time.I have no backlog whatsoever. No, lightning will not strike me. Spent Augustshoveling out the house and the floor is actually visible. My bike is evenclean, see above picture. Jose was so shocked, he almost didn’t recognizeit. Hell, I may even update my webpage. Go to www.crazyhorsepainting.com tosee some examples of my hard labor.

I’ll be posting updates over the nextfew months. Speaking of updates, I’ll be sending in an update on Angie, theblonde everyone loves to hate and a story on The Horse magazine’s SmokeOutevent, further evidence of the latest conspiracy.

READER’S SHOWCASE–We currently have a few killer chops in Reader’s Showcase. Enter your bike, it’s absolutely free. One bike in particularpictured above, should put to rest two age old myths which state that oldengines are unreliable and that severely raked out bikes are unrideable.

Eric Althen of Colorado built this bike in his lean-to garage using only afork, hacksaw, and eggbeater, while snowed in during a Rocky Mt blizzard. Hegot bored after the power went out and needed to keep busy. Eric only hadcanned baked beans to live on and is currently working on a methane poweredgenerator in preparation for the next black out. Only kidding, seriously Ihad a hard time deciding which bike to use in this promo as there are anumber of unique bikes to choose from.

Got a wicked bike or a wicked storybehind it? Send it in. Don’t worry about typing it right or correct grammar.That’s my job, to fix all the literary screwups. Only thing is, whose gonnafix mine?

————Crazy Horse

BIG ISLAND EVENT–Here’s some picture’s of the trip we took over to the big island of Hawaii on Labor Day. Wish I took more, but we were all over the place.

Picked up our bike’s in Hilo at the docks on Friday morning. It was poring rain. Had to don the rain gear and ride. Hilo rains a lot. Stayed the nite in Hilo at the Hilo Hawaiian Hotel. Nice place on the water. One of the shots is looking out on the porch.

Got up the next day and it was sunny. We rode to Kona. It took us about three hour’s, made a few stop’s along the way, being we were at the bar for many hour’s the nite before and some couldn’t handle their booze. We made it into Kona and checked into a condo on the water. It was great, three bedroom’s, big kitchen and a bar on the deck. W dropped off our stuff, got back on the bike’s and headed for the airport to pick up the women. They were there waiting with way to much luggage.

I don’t know how but we got all the luggage on the bike’s and headed back to the condo for some R and R. The weather was great most of the trip, got in a lot of riding with a bunch of other people. Went to the motorcycle rodeo to check it out. My pal paid for some ticket’s for the motorcycle give-away and gave one to each of us. There were six of us. Did’nt think much of it, I don’t win thing’s like that much or ever. It was a 2003 Sportster from Kona Harley. The chow was great, and they had all the regular games, but when it came time for them to draw the name everyone was into it, so they picked a little girl out of the crowd and had her pick the name.

The name they picked was Joerline Tronolone my wife. I almost fell out of my chair. It was cool. Everyone came up and gave her a hug, saying she had good luck. She get’s it in a couple of week’s, so now she signed up to take the motorcycle class. Man, what did I get myself into. I’ll just have to wait and see if she can handle it. Well it was a fun trip.

–Chris Tronolone

BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP ADVICE–This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the backseatof his car. A knock was heard on the window and there stood a cop. The guygot out, shaking like a leaf. The cop said that he wouldn’t run him in if hecould be next.

The guy got back in and finished with his girlfriend. When hegot out again, He was still shaking like leaf. The cop said there was noreason to be scared because he wouldn’t arrest him if he could be next.

Theguy said, “I’m not afraid that you’ll have to arrest me… because I?ve neverbeen with a cop before.”

–Rogue

OZARK ED RETURNS WITH THE OZARK BLUES–It’s a fucked up world. Bad shit has been happening to me right and left, for instance: I’m out working last week, on the interstate in my car. there is a lot of road construction in the area and the Man has been really cracking the power trip in the work zones. I was going the speed limit in the middle of a bunch of traffic and a trooper picked me out and stopped me because my windshield has a crack. Shit, come on, not speeding or doing anything wrong. I gotta ticket for my windshield. How do they pick me out?

Titty bar mike went to court to get his dope record expunged and they found some shit in Florida from his teenage years. Now he might have to go there for a three year vacation. He’s debating on going somewhere else instead, but I can’t see that happening. He has gathered up too much stuff to walk away from, plus miss Kitty doesn’t want to go. She’s a stripper who’s close to 40 and she sees the club as her way out of dancing. If they leave, who knows what there is for her. How stupid was it for him to go try to get his record expunged, knowing that he had shit. That ones on him.

I’m starting to believe that damn juvee girl is bad luck. Every time I see her something fucked up happens. Idon’t call her for a while and shit gets better, then she’ll call and we’ll do something together. Bam, fucked up shit. I’ve noticed that at least twice I didn’t see her for about ten days and everything started going my way again. When she calls me I can’t resist. She’s just so fucking pretty, flawless.

Skitzo Eric and me are now racing to get our Shovelheads done. I have a big head start, but he has all the tools at Rodneys shop at his disposal. I can use them but only on Sunday when the shop is closed. Rodney’s kinda fucked up that way but it’s his shit. I’m lucky to get to use ’em at all. Plus, Eric is not fabricating anything. He’s buying and altering. I’m making shit from sheet metal I’ve scored from behind the body shop and that takes a lot more time.

We went riding yesterday for about a hundred miles. He borrowed Rodney’s girlfriend’s big old bagger and we lapped lake Maumelle. It was great. Cool smells like rain weather, but not a drop. The first 40 miles is on a country road, then we hit highway 10. There is a little park on top of a hill that looks out over the lake. We stopped for a burn party, then got on a nice, curvy, mountain road with big old paved shoulders and lake views on top of the hills. You can do 70 or 80, if the traffic is not bad. It’s fantastic, nice easy riding for a little while, then hammer on the big sweeping curves.

I’m trying to concentrate on shit like that and not the bad shit in my life. Bad luck is just good luck in disguise. I’m waiting for the payoff.

–Ed

BLACK BOXES IN 4BY4S– The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states that the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, “Oh, Shit!” Only the states of Oklahoma, South Carolina, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama and Texas were different, where over 89.3 percent of the final words were: “Hold my beer and watch this.”

–from the Princess

DIRECT FROM PUERTO RICO, THE ACCLAIMED CARIBBEAN REPORT FROM JOSE–” The highway ‘s jammed with broken heroes, on a last chance power drive.Everybody’s out on the run tonight, But there’s no place left to hide.Together Wendy we can live with the sadness, I’ll love you with all themadness in my soul. Someday girl I don’t know when, We’re gonna get to thatplace, where we really want to go, and we’ll walk in the sun. But tilthen tramps like usBaby we were born to run…..”

I thought I would start this week’s news with a bit from the Boss. Why? Because it reminds me of the time I lived in New York. Reminds me of the2,801 people who lost their lives one year ago, and reminds me of thepeople that helped and became heroes.

It really does not matter were you are from, if you are human, you feelthe senseless loss of life that happened exactly one year ago, the dispairof families hoping, of the whole world in front of a TV set praying forthe rescue teams to find a survivor, just one more.

I lived in that amazingcity. I knew people who went down with the crumbles of twisted metal,cement and dust. I’m sure, I’ve just not had any news of whom they where. I’m thankful for being able to see another day, to ride our choppers oncemore, to be able to write about what I see and feel. I haven’t been back there, but I know it will be a funnyfeeling, walking down the streets, while looking to the sky not beingable to see those two towers or sense the people who were there and had no place to run…the young , old,american, latino, asian, european, arabic. God did not spare anyone, anddid not separate, all were equal in death’s eyes.

It still amazes me, the beauty of New York, the big apple, the place whereif you don’t know people, you can rot in a corner while life runs by you.A place where, if you know people, you can be king, “if you make it thereyou can make it anywhere” or so it goes.The people that are cold by nature giving a helping hand, leaving theireveryday busy lives to share, to help and to provide a shoulder so otherscould cry. People forgetting about the millions that could be made today,the movies, the concerts, the shopping, the night life…….. All in allmy sorrow goes to those who lost their lives and the families who lostloved ones. My outmost admiration goes to those who survived, and lived tosee another day, another night…..The sun and the stars….

I guess this is the only tribute I can give…..but it will never beenough. We can only thank God that we are able to ride that chopper, spendtime with those we love, walk down the street, and kick that warm sand,just one more time.

For now, to all of you who read this…..’ Cause tramps like us, baby wewere born to run….and that’s it. ‘Till next week.

–Jose….Caribbean Bikernet report.

NEW CALENDAR ON THE WAY– The renown Iron & Lace Calendar sponsored by Mikuni Carburetors and Performance Machine returns again for 2003 with 16 full color pages of the finest custom Harley-Davidsons together with beautiful centerfold models. It’s a revealing look at some of the finest customized, high performance and fully race modified Harleys from America’s top builders, photographed by photographer Jim Gianatsis.

Included are the latest custom bikes from Americas top builders including Paul Yaffe, Jesse James, Jim Nasi, Ron Simms, Russell Mitchell, and LA Calendar Motorcycle Show winner Harold Pontarelli. The beautiful models this year include Playboy cover model Amanda Bentley, Penthouse Pet of the Year Zdenka, Perfect 10’s Taylor McKegney, and Hawaiian Tropic pageant winner Bonnie Jill Laflin, all in sexy lingerie. American made Iron just naturally goes together with lingerie and lace!

Each Iron & Lace and Garage Girls Calendar is a large format 15×15 inch spiral bound size, with high quality reproduction in full color on quality card stock, uncovering a full 16 months beginning with September 2002. Calendars are available from your local motorcycle dealer or mail order direct from White Brothers for $15.95 each, plus $5 S/H per order. Include calendar name, payment in check, money order, or VISA /MC information and mail your order direct to: FastDates.com Calendars, White Brothers, 24845 Corbit Place, Yorba Linda, CA 92887. Phone weekdays 714-692-3404. And for additional for news and photo features on the bikes, calendars and models visit the FastDates.com Calendar website at www.FastDates.com

Continued On Page 4

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–AMA AGAINST CA HELMET REPEAL, S&S PERFORMANCE NEWSLETTER AND LENO ON A FLATHEAD

Continued From Page 1

FLATHEAD V8 IS NOW AVAILABLE–Jay’s even riding one. Honest Charley V* Flathead Motorcycles feature Ford V8, 60 horsepower engines originally used in Ford vehicles from 1937 to 1940. Each motorcycle is unique, no two are alike. Information about Flathead Motorcycles can be obtained by calling Honest Charley (888) 795-7077 or by e-mailing parts@honestcharley.com.

CUSTOM CHROME ROAD SHOW–For several years, almost a decade in Morgan Hill the CCI produced their own dealer show. Obviously a number of dealers couldn’t make it to the coast so they’ve taken it on the road. Here’s the bit: The first one was last weekend in Quincy, Mass.

Sept 14-16
Columbus Marriot
Columbus, Ohio

Sept 21-23
Hickory Ridge Marriott
Lisle, Il

Sept 28-30
Atlanta Airport Marriot
Atlanta, GA

Oct. 5-7
Ft. Worth Airport Marriott South
Dallas, TX

Oct 26-28
Orlando Airport Marriott
Orlando, Florida

Nov 2-4
John Wayne Airport Marriott
Irvine, CA

Nov 16-18
Santa Clara Marriott
Silicon Valley

BARNES TAKES BUELL LIGHTNING WIN, SERIES LEAD AT PORTLAND–Portland, Ore. (Sept. 8, 2002) -Michael Barnes of Kosco Harley-Davidson/Buell-Innovative Motorcycle Research roared to an easy victory here today at Portland International Raceway and reclaimed the points lead in the Formula USA Buell Lightning Series, presented by Buell Pro Series Accessories.

Barnes, of Boca Raton, Fla., established a new track record for the Buell Lightning Series in qualifying with a lap of 1 minute 11.9 seconds, averaging 96.117 mph around the 1.97-mile course. At the start of the race, Barnes was immediately hounded by Kosco teammate David Estok, and Hal?s Harley-Davidson riders Clint Brotz and Richie Morris. Running nose-to-tail, Barnes and Estok drafted together on the main straight and pulled out to a 1.5-second lead, a margin they extended throughout the 12-lap event. Estok, of New Smyrna Beach, Fla., was 0.6 seconds behind Barnes at the finish. Brotz, of Sheboygan, Wis., was a distant third, 13.5 seconds back, while Morris, of Elkhart Lake, Wis., was fourth, another 25.9 seconds off the leader?s pace.

?My Buell was really strong today, and after the misfortune we had in the middle of the season, it?s great to be back in the points lead,? said Barnes. ?It should make for a real battle at Daytona.?

With his victory, Barnes jumps from third place to first in series points with 114 points, just one point ahead of Brotz and 14 points ahead of Bryan Bemisderfer of Greencastle, Pa, who was unable to compete at Portland. Each rider has a shot at taking the series championship in the eighth and final round at Daytona International Speedway on Oct. 20.

The Formula USA Buell Lightning Series, presented by Buell Pro Series Accessories, is a horsepower and weight-restricted Buell-only spec class. The eighth round of the Formula USA National Road Race Series will take place at Daytona International Speedway, Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16-20.

Appropriate religious memento.

WHY GOD MADE PETS–Why God made pets..A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to”Where do pets come from?”

Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with usevery day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it isdifficult for us to remember how much you love us.”

And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you that will bewith you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so thatyou will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish orchildish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as youare and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.”

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it wasa good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to bewith Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, “Lord, I havealready named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a namefor this new animal.”

And God said, “No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be areflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name,and you will call him DOG.”

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and waggedhis tail. After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord andsaid, “Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut andpreen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog hasindeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.”

And God said, “No problem! I will create for them a companion who will bewith them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion willremind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not alwaysworthy of adoration.”

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would notobey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were remindedthat they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility.And they were greatly improved. And God was pleased. And Dog was happy. AndCat didn’t give a shit one way or the other.

–from the Princess

AMA ANTI-CALIFORNIA HELMET REPEAL–The American Motorcyclist Association (AMA) is opposing a $1 million health insurance requirement attached to California legislation that would allow motorcyclists to ride withou helmets.

According to this report from AMD the AMA supports voluntary helmet use, believing riders should be able to choose whether to wear a helmet. However the association opposes placing economic conditions in legilsation in exchange for a voluntary helmet-use law.

Take a look at the 100th anniversary printed material from the factory. Now here’s a piece from the Golden Anniversary year in 1954. Compare the styles–Wild.

S&S CYCLE NEWSLETTER–S&S is now publishing their own newsletter. If you want to have a heads up on new performance products and the success S&S is having with their current products drop them a line to SScust&sscycle.com, or check their website at SScycle.com.

Continued On Page 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BAD JOKES, PANHEAD TECHS AND BIKES FOR SALE

This is one of those days where the women are edgy, I’m outta Jack, and I’m holdin’ my breath for a hot night after I wrap up the news. Thursdays are a blast in some respects and a race to finish the news. Somedays I’m so buried in info it’s a struggle. Others I’m up to my ears in jokes and not much else. It always works out one way or the other.

The Red Ball Touring Chopper is on the road to Pro Paint in Baltimore via a Gold Rush Transport truck packed alongside a dozen new Indians, two Mercedes and a Porche. At least it’s in good company.

I’m still tinkering with my EL Panhead and talked to Mike Engle of Grease Lightening (soon to be at Joker Machine) about doing some timing. He asked me if it ever dies at a light or at slow idle inadvertantly. I admitted that the puppy did from time to time. He told me that the gear lash between the generator, the pinion shaft and the distributor gear can be so loose that timing will shift as much as 3 degrees. At an idle, it will kill it. I also mentioned that the oil light has been hanging on until my revs are higher. He told me that the critical pinion shaft assembly can wobble lose and shift the oil pump pressure and that it’s dangerous. I’ll check it quick.

I also discovered through the pages of “The Legend Begins”, a Harley-Davidson official book on models and numbers built (great source for antique collectors), that in 1948, 4,321 61-inch ELs were produced. Yeah so what you might say, well there were only 20 WR’s built, but get this, in 1955 only 63 FLH models rolled off the assembly line. If you have a ’55 FLH, it’s worth considerable coin.

Let’s get to the news, the women in this joint are going postal on me:

NEW VICTORY VEGAS–It?s all new, all style, and all attitude. The new 2003 Victory Vegas is a completely new motorcycle built on a new chassis and dressed in the most stylish sheet metal and chrome to roll on two wheels.It looks smooth and fast even when it?s parked. It draws a crowd at curbside, and turns heads as it passes. It is low, sleek, and loaded with cutting-edge technology and ground-shaking Freedom? V-twin power.

The Vegas is Victory?s dynamic entry into the custom cruiser segment of the motorcycle market. Buyers who have previously ponied up $25,000, $30,000, even $40,000 and more for custom cruisers will be able to buy a Vegas for considerably less. And they?ll enjoy benefits such as factory warranty protection, proven Freedom? V-twin performance, smooth and easy shifting, and a high new level of styling never before seen from a major manufacturer.

New Platform, New Everything?AlmostThe Vegas was designed and developed by Victory?s Industrial Design Group, an in-house team of artists who appreciate style, performance, comfort, and a dynamic image. They built the Vegas on a new chassis that?s lower and longer than any previous Victory. It?s made for cruising, yet it also delivers smooth, responsive handling that riders have come to expect from every Victory.It?s not quite all new? It shares a few parts with other Victorys, such as some fasteners, mirrors, and a right hand grip. But that?s about it. Virtually everything else is pure Vegas, which means it?s pure style.The Vegas has a 21? front wheel, forward-mounted foot controls, a stretched swing arm and increased fork rake. The wheelbase is one of the longest on the market and the frame uses larger-diameter tubing that provides greater torsional rigidity in the frame. This means you enjoy a smooth, comfortable ride on this long and low new custom cruiser.

The seat is low?lower than on any other Victory. Low and comfortable, making it a good fit for a wide range of rider body types and ideal for enjoyable cruising. The pulled-back cruiser handlebars put the rider in a comfortable position and their rubber mounting reduces vibration dramatically.

A Style All Its Own

As the Victory designers scrutinized their early Vegas prototypes, they invited some friends to take a look and share their opinions. Those ?friends? were Arlen Ness and Cory Ness, legendary master builders of some of the world?s most striking customs.Arlen and Cory served as consultants on the Vegas project, providing design insights and styling ideas as the sleek custom cruiser evolved in the design studio.The Vegas presents a smooth, flowing look from its front wheel to the tip of the rear fender. The fenders and fuel tank share a common design theme?a raised spine that runs the length of the bike, tying separate pieces together visually. The spine design is even found in the triple clamps and the stylized swing arm.The fuel tank is stretched and sculpted. It has scalloped sides where the Victory logo is displayed, and a split tail that flows into the peaked nose of the seat to integrate two disparate components, one metal, one leather.The red taillight lens is mounted flush with the surface of the rear fender, and it?s no ordinary bulb. Under the lens is a hidden LED unit that provides distinctive illumination and will never burn out like a traditional bulb.

An optional headlight is also extraordinary: A Vegas owner can purchase a high intensity discharge [HID] headlight system that is a motorcycle industry first. It produces clean white light, and is three times brighter than a standard bulb.

The Vegas is loaded with chrome and attention to detail. For instance, the handlebar mounting brackets are hidden under a chrome plate so the fasteners are hidden. This typifies the clean, finished Vegas look. The speedometer housing (separate from the headlight nacelle, unlike other Victory models) is chrome, as are the ignition and fuel injection system covers, the rear fender struts, and the belt guard.

The indicator light panel is mounted flush with the top of the triple clamp, complementing the bike?s clean look.The Vegas comes with 40-spoke laced aluminum wheels. Billet wheels with a unique three-spoke design (three split spokes creating six spokes) are available as an accessory.

Freedom to Cruise?in Style

The Vegas will attract attention because of its incredible styling, and riders will love its comfortable seat, ergonomics, and ride. It?s also a great value in the custom cruiser market segment. Yet there?s even more: Power.

The Vegas delivers outstanding performance with its Freedom? V-twin engine, a 92-cubic inch (1,507cc) 4-stroke 50? V-twin with single overhead cams, 4 valves per cylinder, self-adjusting cam chains, and hydraulic lifters. The Freedom? V-twin serves up instant throttle response and great ridability with its electronic fuel injection system feeding 44mm throttle bodies.The exhaust flows through beautiful dual Vegas pipes with staggered, slash-cut tips. Shifting gears is easier than ever on a Victory with the new-for-2003 shifting mechanism that requires just a light touch to change gears.The Vegas has 43mm telescopic forks that offer a low level of ?stiction? to deliver a smooth ride and easy handling. The front brake is a 300mm floating rotor with a Brembo? 4-piston caliper. The rear brake uses the same-sized rotor and has a 2-piston Brembo? caliper.

Cantina Drawing Winner–
Brett Moorhouse from McFarland, WY is the lucky bastard this week.
Wanted: anything to do with a classic triumph or just surprise me.

Brett gets a set of posters with cool motorcycles and half naked women.One poster in particular is of a Truimph, so he gets what he asked for!

Week after week I have to remind you people about the Cantina. If youwanna win, you gotta enter. If you’re not a member, you can’t enterso……… join the fucking Cantina! It’s so simple to do, please don’tmake me have to tell you again.

Usually we only pick one winner at time but now and then I like the waysomeone asks, or what they ask for so I’m gonna send this other guy a copyof Orwell, autographed of course.

Paul W Morris from Ventura, California
Wanted: Books Books and Books-Ralph Bargers newest or any of Bandits,autographed of course shooter [Hi Mike]

Come on people, you don’t have much time left to join for the reducedrate of $15.00 per year. Normally its $20.00 but Bandit, feeling generousafter too many glasses of Jack, told Digital to give you guys a break. Youshould take advantage while he’s still in a good mood.

See ya!
Lawless

BIKERNET STUDIES THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN–as if we need more troubles.

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows aboutdentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

The above is bullshit and most guys know it. I get tired of this crap, in fact, I’m no sure why I published it. Perhaps I should fire myself and get some woman to take my place. Oops, three are already vying for the position.

JOSEPH ANGELINE & JOSEPH ANGELINI JR. RIDE FOR THE HEROES–By Scott Maris.The Annual Joseph Angelini & Joseph Angelini Jr. Ride For The Heroes was held on Sunday September 1st on Long Island New York. The Angelini?s in case you don’t know, are the first father and son team lost in the line of duty in the history of the F.D.N.Y. They were lost at the World Trade Center on September 11th. The ride was designed to remember Firefighters Joseph Angelini, Joseph Angelini Jr. and all FDNY, NYPD and Civilians lost on 9/11.

The organizers of the run had a great day planned with vendors, Bluezin’ and Hot Tin Roof providing the tunes, a team of sky divers dropping-in on the party, $2,000 in merchandise to be raffled off, plenty of free Hot Dogs, Hamburgers and soda for all. Unfortunately Mother Nature did not cooperate. It rained Saturday, Sunday and Monday. The rain was heavy at times and really put a damper on the expected 1,500 rider turnout. The SkyDivers couldn’t even get off the ground.

The good news is that over 200 riders turned out to ride! They faced dangerous conditions in order to honor their Heroes. These guys were tough as nails and I salute them. The sign-in was at the L.I.E. (I495) exit 49 park & ride. The WBAB rock van was on hand giving out free tickets and T-shirts. WBAB’s Fingers rode in on his Dyna Wide Glide. Entenmanns provided free doughnuts and cakes for all. The pack rode out at 11:00am and headed for Brookhaven Fireman’s Field. The 30-mile ride held a steady 55MPH and had a full police/fire escort. It made getting on and off the L.I.E. much easier.

I caught up with Frank Falco, one of the event organizers, at Fireman’s Field and asked him how the ride started. “My friend Chris Lombardi and I were at Joe Jr’s funeral service, and we started talking about the idea of a Motorcycle ride to honor Joey. Joe was a rider so we knew he would approve of it. In fact the last time I saw Joe, was on a ride. The first year we started planning late, and by the time the funeral service was done it was October. We had that first ride on November 11th. It went pretty well and we had about 350 riders. It was a cold 40 degree day, but we had a good time.”

Frank continued on to say, “Instead of cold, this year it was rain. They say three is the charm, so next year the weather should be perfect. The weather definitely hurt us this year, however the Angelini Family and I consider the ride a success. A good time was had by all, the ride was safe despite the wet roads, and we raised about $2,500 for the Suffolk County Fire Chiefs Council’s Widows and Orphans Fund. Most importantly to me personally, thousands of people saw the Motorcycles, the coverage on TV, and read about it in the newspaper. To me it’s about remembering, and about freedom. These riders came out to remember.”

For more information on next year’s event, please check www.ridefortheheores.com

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