April 4, 2002 Part 4
By Bandit | | General Posts
Continued From Page 3
DETECTIVE SUI–A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famousChinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report anyactivitiesthat might develop. A few days later, he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch.
He and she leave house.
follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
She kiss he.
He strip she
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I Play with me.
Fall out of tree, not see.
……NO FEE
THE LEXUS CONNECTION A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel he fine leather upholstery, she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn’t pop up right now.
As she turns back, there, standing next to her is a salesman.
“Good day, madam. How may we help you today?”
Very uncomfortably she asks, “Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?”
He answers, “Lady, if you farted just touching it, you’re gonna shit when you hear the price.”
Austin/Bleu Bayou Ducati Racing
Austin/Bleu Bayou Ducati Racing will be taking the grid for the Superbike doubleheader with rider Pascal Picotte at the new California Speedway in Fontana, California. Having trained in the preseason at Fontana, Picotte is ready to take the number 21 Ducati 996RS to the front.
Having been controversially released from HMC Ducati after the season opener at Daytona, Picotte is on a mission to beat Chandler, the rider who replaced him on the HMC team. Since Chandler is considered a front-runner this weekend, this motivation will place the Austin/Blue Bayou Ducati team in good position.
Crew Chief, Lance Baker was happy to announce Thursday that a deal was made with Michelin to provide Picotte with tires that are proven to make the Ducati chassis work. The same tires that enabled Troy Bayliss to win both races at Valencia and Phillip Island and to hold the provisional pole at Kyalami. It may be a learning curve for Picotte to adjust to the Michelins but they should prove to be an advantage for the Austin/Bleu Bayou Ducati team.
Austin/Bleu Bayou Ducati Racing is sponsored by Ducati Austin, Austin Harley-Davidson, and Bleu Bayou Harley-Davidson, Cyclewacko.com, Grand Prix Appearal, Michelin, Nutec Racing Fuel, Performance Friction, Regina Chain, Viron International and Vortex. The team is headquartered in Temple, Texas at Bell County Harley-Davidson.
For more information contact Jarrod Weaver, 254-773-2243.
BIKERNET MAKES ENGINE CHOICE FOR NUTTBOY PROJECT–The following is a rundown on the Rev Tech Engine offering for the custom market. After you read the following you understand why we went with these guys:
Increased cooling fin surface area
No head or base gaskets (ultra-high temperature o-rings are used instead)
High-performance computerized ignition that controls and monitors break-infor the ultimate in a smooth burn-in
Two-finishes available… black with chrome covers and natural with chromecovers
Compatible with Original Equipment and custom frames that accept Evolution?engines
Available in two engine displacements 88″ and 100″88 Cubic Inch has 4 1/4″ flywheel stroke with a 3 5/8″ bore
100 Cubic Inch has 4 3/8″ flywheel stroke with a 3 13/16″ bore
RevTech? Engine Case features:Made from 356T6 cast aluminum
Added material in all high-stress areas for superior strength
Removable press-in/bolt-in bearing inserts on left and right sides of cases
Removable bottom sump-plate permits internal inspection
Late-style RevTech? external pump for improved efficiency and increasedvolume
RevTech? Cylinder features:Improved design with more fins overall, and longer fins in certain high-heatareas for better cooling
Steel liners are Perma-Locked into the outer aluminum castings
Cast pistons for controlled expansion and reduced engine noise
O-ring base seals instead of gaskets
RevTech? Cylinder Head features:
D-shaped exhaust ports for maximum flow and performance
Machined for dual plug applications
Wider-spaced head bolt pattern
O-ring head seals instead of gaskets for increased reliability
Mikuni HSR42 carburetorIntake manifold is closely matched to the port for maximum flow
RevTech? Flywheel features:Forged 4340 steel for superior strength
One-piece design flywheels and shafts
Other engine featuresSpecial cam with .495″ lift for good torque across the rpm range
Crane? digital ignition module and pick-up
RevTech? Engines Include the Following
Chrome Accessories:
Custom Rocker Box Covers
Air Cleaner with Custom-Designed Insert
Lifter Blocks and Pushrod Covers
Smooth Cam Cover with Laser-Etched Point
Cover
RevTech? Oil Filter and Bracket
Oil Pump CoverHardware
THE TRIP THAT TRIED:FATE STICKS A WRENCH IN SUZANNE’S REAR WHEEL–The following is just a hint of what happened to Helen Wolfe?s coastal putt. We were looking forward to her run reports, but the plans ended quickly. Watch for images and the complete rundown shortly:
This is a 2001 HeritageSofttail still under warranty.?
Watch for the complete report in Special Reports section.
DALLAS SWAPMEET– We here at the Texas Scooter Times would like to remind everyone about the:April 7th (THIS SUNDAY) Dallas Swap Meet at the Long Horn Ballroom…..Show Hours are 11am till 5pm
YOU’LL FIND:
Garage Clean outs
Parts Distributors “Over Runs”
Seasonal Leather Deals
Cheap, Used Parts
“Take Off” Parts and Accessories
Traveling Parts Discounters
There will be Live Bands, Door prizes and other contests… Parts & Party… Don’t Miss it!
Directions: The Longhorn Ballroom is located on the corner of Industrial Blvd. and Corinth. Take Industrial Blvd. Exit from I-30 or I-35 where they cross, Right Downtown Dallas Go South 5 Blocks.For more information visit: www.texasscooter.com
Vendor Space still Availablecall 254-687-9066 for reservations
Also don’t forget about the “Big Drags” April 20th at Red River Raceway, Shreveport, La……..
AN APOLOGY–to the readers. I dislike being a sniveler or even philosophical, but life is not all fresh paint and new chrome. I?ve done my time on this hell ship and will soon return to the front where the party and hard work will begin again.
I can?t wait to fire up the touring chopper for a putt to Walkers for a beer or to Tombstone, Arizona for some time with the Kennedys, (we?re putting together a series of articles on them for HORSE). I can?t wait to hang with my brothers behind a barbecue and some Jack and chase Sin and Layla around the office. I?ve even heard rumors that there?s a new blond hanging around the headquarters. I?m also itchin? to take a welding lesson from Paul Yaffee. We have torches and an old Lincoln stick welder at the shop and need to upgrade our welding capabilities. I can?t wait to get back into the garage and get greasy working on Nuttboy?s project. We aren?t major talents in the building industry, but we?re going to build something that will tweak your imagination. I should be back in the saddle by news time next week. Can?t wait.
–Bandit
April 4, 2002 Part 3
By Bandit | | General Posts
Continued From Page 2
WANNA MAKE A BET ???–A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada oneday, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that shemust speak with the president of the bank to opena savings account because, “It’s a lot of money!”After much hemming and hawing, the bank stafffinally ushered her into he president’s office (thecustomer is always right!) The bank president thenasked her how much she would like to deposit.
She replied, “$165,000!” and dumped the cash outof her bag onto his desk. The president was of coursecurious as to how she came to get this money, he askedhow did you get this money?”
The old lady replied, “I make bets.” The president thenasked, “Bets? What kind of bets?”
The old woman said,”Well, for example, I’ll bet you $25,000 that your ballsare square.”
“Ha!” laughed the president, “That’s a stupid bet. Youcan never win that kind of bet!” The old lady challenged,
“So, would you like to take my bet?”
“Sure,” said thepresident, “I’ll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!”
The little old lady then said, “Okay, but since there is alot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with metomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?”
“Sure!” repliedthe confident president.
That night, the president got very nervous about the betand spent a long time in front of a mirror checking hisballs, turning from side to side, again and again. Hethoroughly checked them out until he was sure that therewas absolutely no way his balls were square and that hewould win the bet.
The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the old ladyappeared with her lawyer at the president’s office. Sheintroduced the lawyer to the president and repeated thebet: $25,000 says the president’s balls are square!”
Thepresident agreed with the bet again and the old ladyasked him to drop his pants so they could all see. Thepresident complied. The little old lady peered closely athis balls and then asked if she could feel them.
“Well, Okay,” said the president, “$25,000 is a lot ofmoney, so I guess you should be absolutely sure.” Justthen, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging hishead against the wall.
The president asked the old lady,”What the hell’s the matter with your lawyer?”
She replied,”Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AMtoday, I’d have The Bank of Canada’s president’s balls inmy hand.”
WINO JOE WISDOM–Mr.Axe,GJMC,S.Africa. It ain’t an American “thing”. It’s World Wide”shit”. We ride together against it. These assholes wouldn’t go”one-on-one” in a bar fight, so FUCK’EM! Take’m out any chance ya get.One Biker Nation/Many Biker Patches. Ride together & “rat-pack”’em!
–WJUSA
BIKERNET INSIDER BIKER SCOOP–We make every effort to bring you the slippery scoop from inside of the industry. This was written to the editor of a major motorcycle magazine recently. We?ve eliminated names and mag title to prevent job loss. ?Just finished reading your “Meet the Editor” bio. You are as big a piece of manure in print as you are in person! What a waste of human flesh. If you insist on being so pompous, I suggest you shave off your beard …. that way you will properly resemble your only “ass”et!
People like you (the small number of ass-wipes in highly visible positions in the motorcycle world) are large contributors for the reasons riders receive a bad rap from the unindoctrinated. Now, please excuse me while I cancel my subscription..
BIKERNET INSIDER EMAIL–Here?s a small kick in the teeth from one of our esteemed contributors:Threats of impending Native Americans and Transexuals taken seriously by local authorities.Engines & Trannies, engines & trannies, engines & trannies, engines & trannies, engines & trannies……promises, promises, promises, promises, promises, promises, . Listenit?s the rhythm of your engine. mises, promises.
–Nuttboy,
Nuttboy busted his ass to help us build the Bikernet headquarters and has written stories such as Jake De? Hell I can?t even mention the name. We have told Nuttboy and Jon Towle that we will help them build choppers, because they?ve helped, and they couldn?t build a bike if their lives depended on it. Last week I announced that we had ordered the Rev Tech Engine and transmission for Nuttboy?s bike. So does he say, yippee and buy us all a cold one? Nooo.
MOTORCYCLE DOCTORS JUNE RALLY CELEBRATES 25 YEARS OF HEALING–April 2, 2002, Long Island, New York The Motorcycling Doctors Associationwill hold its annual rally, June 11-14, 2002, in Lake Placid, New York.Motorcyclists holding the degree of MD, DO, DMD, DVM, or DPM are encouragedto attend, and apply for membership. Associate membership is offered tolicensed providers holding PA, RN, LPN, DC, EMT, and other degrees. Weproudly celebrate twenty-five years of camaraderie, scientific exchange, andcharity.
Riding motorcycles carries another kind of mystique, like medicine, requiringsynergy and focus. Sometimes the best people to escape with are your peers. Aspecial kind of sharing occurs amongst fellow professionals, on mental, andemotional levels, further enhancing the therapeutic value of motorcyclingitself.
The Motorcycling Doctors Association takes the art of motorcycling asseriously as the art of healing. We hold ourselves to the highest educationalstandards of the Motorcycle Safety Foundation. Riding isn?t our littlesecret, it?s a dignified skill which allows us to meditate, clear our mindand strengthen our psyche. This is what we sharethe most visceral elementsof our identity.
Come to our rally! Come for the ridenowhere in America is summer morebeautiful than upstate New York. Mile after back road mile, the majesticAdirondack Mountains are gloriously alive with fragrant forests and thespirit of the Lake Placid Olympics.
The elegant Hilton Resort package includes generous amenities andentertainment. World traveler – Millennium-ride.com?s Simon Milward, willshow us the Arab/Muslim world he visted just before 9/11/01.Officers of theAmerican Motorcyclist Association and the Harley-Davidson Motor Company havebeen invited to present their insights. Our fellow caregivers in local RedKnights MC (firefighters and emergency services) and Harley Owners Groupchapters will join us for rides and gatherings. Local motorcycle shops cansupport any technical requirements.
Visit our web site http://motorcyclingdoctors.com to contact your closestmember. Meetings are rotated around the country, to encourage the ride, but alocal member can be your first contact. Ride to the rally, and share oursecret
Is this a fuckin? press release or a psychological appraisel of the melding of the medical profession and murder cycles? To many cyclists who have spent their adult lives maintaining and expanding our freedoms, doctors have been our nemesis. As motorcyclists this group could accomplish much for the sport. They could shatter the public burden theory used constantly by law makers. They could put helmets in their place and finally as an added bonus to the nature of man in general they could clear the air to legalizing prostitution. Maybe I?ll go.
BIKERNET BUELL UPDATE– What do you know, a Buell update. Been awhile. Actually not much has been happening. We all are waiting for the delivery of our Buell Firebolts.
I just got back from Phoenix. Went to a H-D service school. While at school (MMI) I got my first peak at the XB9R Firebolt!!! They have about fifthteen of the Buell Firebolts and Blast’s out there in storage.
In late spring MMI will teaching a 4 day Firebolt school for the factory. This is for the tech’s that haven’t been to Milwaukee for the school yet. I will going May 13th. thru. the 16th. Looking forward to it. I liked what I saw out there and I’m ready to tear into one.
Speaking of AZ. I went and saw the guy’s from Chandler H-D/Buell. They are building a new dealership down the street. Looks about six months away from being done. Damn this one will even have air conditioning not just SWAMP coolers!!!
They are a Buell dealer by the way. I also had a visit with the other people I know from Glendale H-D/Buell. My good friend Joe from Buddy Stubbs H-D hooked up with us all for some chow later that evening. Glendale H-D/Buell is also building a new place out by the sports complex in Phoenix. It’s gonna be a big store for sure. I think they also will have lot’s of air conditioning for the service department. Private joke.
With the new H-D/ Buell dealership in Mayer, AZ. Which by the way is awsome. Arizona is going to be a hot bed for the Buell riders in Arizona and around the country.
The only other thing that need’s mentioning here is there was some news from the winter H-D dealer meeting this year regarding the Buell models for 2003. It is my understanding that the M2, X1, and S3 models will be eliminated from the Buell line up for 03. Is this all true? From what I was told this is the last year for those models.
My favorite Buell was the RR1000 and the S2 Thunderbolt, which I own #200. The M2 was one of the entry level models that was in my opinion their best bike for the dollar. Who knows what the reason the “Funny Farm” has for eliminating these fine pieces of motorcycle art. Could it be all the recalls and the bad press they got???? Who the fuck knows.
This news on the Buell lineup for 03 made me put my feet together put my chin down and shake my head from side to side!!! The Bean counters always seem to have there vision of what people want or need. What happened to the thinking that someone might want to go touring on a Buell S3T!!While being excited for the new Buell Firebolt coming out to us in the spring I’m left thinking what’s going to be next from the “Funny Farm” !!
That’s all I have for now. More down the road lot’s of “Stuff” happening spring and summer. Stay tuned.
–Paul
Mustache–How the mustache was invented.
BIKERNET RESEARCH DEPARTMENT– If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it.)
BIKERNET OFFICE EDIQUETTE-A man walks up to a woman in his office each day,stands very close to her, draws in a large breathof air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can’t stand it any longer!The woman goes into her supervisor’s office, tells himwhat the coworker does, and that she wants to file asexual harassment suit against the man.
The supervisor is puzzled by this and asks………”What’s sexually threatening about a coworker tellingyou your hair smells nice?
The woman replies, “He’s a midget.”
–Fran
Tattoo-s Of The Week–Hey Bandit and Krew, what’s up ? So when are you do back in California, work here in Hawaii is picking up, alot more tourist are coming back to Hawaii since thing’s here were pretty bad since Sept. 11, i’m doing a project for Disney that we have been working on for about 2 week’s, there coming out with a new children’s movie called Lilo & Stitch were doing 4 ft. long sticker’s for surfboard’s that they are going to use as promo pretty wild stuff lot’s of color will send you what they look like, anyway hope all is well, oh yea here are some shot’s for your tatto part of bikernet, the girl’s name is Rhiannon,
Get in touch
Chris T.
“HAIL STORM”–A nice looking blonde was driving and got caught in areally bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents,so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner, seeing she was a blonde, decided hewould have a little fun, since his shop was already sobusy. He told her just to go home and blow into thetailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So the blonde goes home, gets down on her hands and knees and starts blowing into the tailpipe of her car.Nothing happened. She blows a little harder and stillnothing happens.
Just then, her roommate, anotherblonde, arrives home and sees what she is doing. “Whatare you doing?”she asks.
The first blonde tells her how the repairman hadinstructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order toget all the dents to pop out.
Her roommate, rolling her yes, looks at her roommate,and says,……..”HELLOOO”….you need to roll up the windows first!”
— Hell on Wheels
Continued On Page 4
March 28, 2002 Part 4
By Bandit | | General Posts
Continued From Page 3
OIL AND WATER DO MIX!–Following is a press release sent to the motorcycle media last week:
Adrift on the high seas, battered by wind and lashed by waves, one of the storied stars of Avon Tyre’s 2002 ad campaign is simultaneously pounding out paperback fiction and Web site content via the exotic, globe-encircling, iridium satellite system.
CEO of premier biker Web site bikernet.com, novelist, columnist, historian and dedicated observer of all things biker related, Keith R. Ball is spending six months circumnavigating the planet aboard a tramp steamer, gathering info and inspiration for two new titles in a rapidly expanding library of outlaw biker fiction.
For Ball, it’s all part of the synergy that defines today’s biker lifestyle. Keeping in touch via a satellite-connected phone that provides both voice contact and digital up and downloads through a laptop modem, he uses e-mail like the Indians used smoke signals; sparse, accurate, and just over the horizon.
And as if fending off dangerous pirates in foreign ports-o-call weren’t enough, this 60-weight old school vet is again starring in Avon’s latest personality-driven ad campaign introducing the new Venom line of fat rubber, a role he premiered several years ago.
Larry Hoppe, president of Hoppe & Associates, Avon’s North American advertising agency, considers Ball a unique personality who’s especially suited to appeal to both the hardcore enthusiast and the newly minted H-D constituency. “The fact that he’s well known and respected among both the industry and the consumer market makes him a natural spokesman for Avon’s premium product.”
Although best known for his nearly quarter-century editing Easyriders as it grew to become the lifestyle’s largest publication, Ball is more comfortable these days creating content and counting hits at his irreverent Web site. In February alone, nearly 40,000 users logged an impressive 110,000 Bikernet visits, and an eyebrow-raising 312,000 page views.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON TRAINING MODIFIED– All went well with the service class. Harley is changing its training now. You have to take at least two classes a year to maintain your rating. They are pushing the dealers to comply with this new stuff.
If you ask me, they are getting to be a real pain in the ass making all the dealers have these huge retail T-shirt shops that sometimes sell motorcycles! Anyway, I’m seeing all the old buds, guys from Deano’s, Nassi, Titan, etc. All this with a little R&R. It will be good to get home though.
Phoenix has this weird feeling to me. Everybody is in a transient kinda state of mind here. No roots I guess. That’s it for now.
–Bikernet Undercover Agent
AMERICAN RIDER BUILDING IMAGE–American Rider Magazine is facing redevelopment.American Rider is eight times a year (for some reason). The book is 8 years oldand has had the same design and general tone for all that time. The Augustissue will launch a new design that is a lot more bold and in your face.With that is a plan to pump some attitude, grit and spunk into the book. Atthe same time we strive to get a bit more mechanical. Bikernet will be supplying them with a series of tech articles in the near future. Watch for the mag and let us know what you think.
RUN FOR BREATH/SMOKE OUT REPORT–I have heard you are on your way home. Just wanted to touch base with you on a couple of things. The Horse Smokey Mountain Bike Show is the same weekend as The Run for Breath. I have talked to Edge and we are trying work out the schedule. The run is on July 28. The Smoke out is July 26-28. Between the three of us, I am sure we can work this out.
Mike Pullin proudly announces:
4th ANNUAL RUN FOR
BREATH
In Memory of his son Justin
Sunday, July 28, 2002
Poker Run Registration — 10 a.m. ? 1 p.m.
Ben?s V-Twins
2429 South Tryon St.
$10 per hand; three hands for $20
POKER RUN—————————————————-T-SHIRTS
BIKE SHOW—————-BIKER GAMES—————LIVE MUSIC
DOOR PRIZES————–VENDORS—————FOOD & DRINKS
SPECIAL GUEST STAR ? Keith ?Bandit? Ball
President, bikernet.com
Bike Show Registration ? 11 a.m. ? 2:30 p.m.
Carolina Country Barbecue
2522 Sardis Road North
$10 Per Bike
Pre-Run Party July 27
RJ?s Sports Bar & Grill
2500 Crown Point Executive Dr., Charlotte
8 p.m.
$10 donation
DON?T MISS THE BIGGEST MOTORCYCLE EVENT
IN THE CAROLINAS!
ALL PROCEEDS BENEFIT:
Camp Air Care – American Lung Association of NC
This camp is for children with asthma. Justin Pullin lost his life from an
acute asthma attack in 1998 at the age of 16.
For more information call Mike Pullin at (704) 847-4647 or (704) 573-9396
BIKERNET CLASSIFIEDS HIT BIG TIME–I didn’t make these up; they’re in our classifieds. Bikernet Classifieds are free to anyone who can figure out the form and fill it out. Don?t ask us.
true love
SINGLE MALE SEEKS DOUBLE JOINTED SUPERMODEL WHO OWNS A BREWERY AND GROWSHER OWN POT. ACCESS TO FREE CONCERT TICKETS A PLUS, AS IS BEING AMILLIONAIRE. MUST BE ABLE TO COOK AND POLISH CHROME.
Contact lochness
E-Mail: shovelhead108@hotmail.com
Phone: none
Fax: none
State: California
Date Posted: 2/14/2002
wife
Selling wife…..high maintenance, doesn’t cook, barely knows the artof giving head, but looks good. Needs some work, will sacrifice.
Contact doug
E-Mail: d_milden@hotmail.com
Phone: none
Fax: none
State: Arkansas
Date Posted: 1/26/2002
BANDIT?S CANTINA–Here?s just one reason to join Bandit?s Cantina, this is an e-mail trail with one of the guys who entered the drawing. Prizes are given regularly to Cantina members:
From: jockshift@aol.com
To: sinwu@bikernet.com
Subject: Your door prize entry has been received at bikernet.com
Thanks, bitch.
From:sinwu@bikernet.com
To: jockshift@aol.com
Eat me
From: jockshift@aol.com
To: sinwu@bikernet.com
Hmmmmm….. been havin a hankerin of sorts for Spicy Asian Food!
From: sinwu@bikernet.com
To: jockshift@aol.com
Too funny. Aside from Bandit, all I eat is fish…
From: jockshift@aol.com
To: sinwu@bikernet.com
Not the LEAST bit interested in a Bandit-based diet. And FISH is far toolimited. Unless, Of course, she’s FRESH!
Are you any relation to the Tu-Wu sisters? The ones that all diedvirgin?There was Tu-Dum Tu-Wu, Tu-Phat Tu-Wu, and Tu-Ug-Lee Tu-Wu. The three ofthem once captured Sum Yung Dik in an attempt to get deflowered. While thesisters argued over which one would be first, he suicided, using one ofTu-Phat’s chopsticks to the jugular.
“I LOVE YOU” IN 20 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES–
English . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I Love You
Spanish . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Te Amo
French . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Je T’aime
German . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . lch Liebe Dich
Japanese . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Ai Shite Imasu
Italian . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ti Amo
Chinese. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wo Ai Ni
Swedish . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jag Alskar
Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, West Virginia, Mississippi and Kentucky. . . . . . . . . . . . Nice Tits
–Big Will
UNLEASH MY ASS–I cry out at the top of my lungs each night. I can?t wait to have a wrench in one hand, the clicking of the keys on my Apple in the other. The laptop I?m working with has Windows Pro something on it, and at least twice a day I could shoot the sonuvabitch, if I had access to the guard?s pistol. Useless windows pop up constantly.
Even as I fight the keyboard I?m up to chapter 25 of the first Chance novel that pops up in the Cantina and in HORSE magazine in issue by issue installments. I just finished reading a novel by Sir Francis Chichester, who was an adventurer. His writings reminded me of Rip. At 65 years of age, he sailed around the world single handily with one stop in Sydney, Australia. He sailed from Plymouth, England southeast to the Cape of Good Hope at the bottom of Africa then east to Australia. From Australia he sailed east again past Cape Horn (the roughest spot on the globe) to the Atlantic and north back to England. Unbelievable journey that he barely survived in his 54-foot Ketch, which capsized once. That was in 1966.
For a biker it would have been considered the Hell Run ?66. Incredible tale. He made it in 226 days, a journey of 29,630 miles. It?s odd but there are some remote comparisons. We should have traveled a very similar number of miles in 135 days or so from Houston to Houston.
He wrote 200,000 words during his horrific passage. I will have written one book based on the trip of over 156,000 words and an additional 15 chapters for my first book, plus an additional 56 articles for the site and magazines for a total of 375,000 words. Hell, I?ve even read 10 books. I don?t care if it?s a record or not. I hope that my writing ability has improved and that the brothers enjoy what they read. I found it fascinating, but I miss the headquarters. Two weeks to go.
Have a beer on me in the meantime, go check out some sex toys, ride safe.
–Bandit
March 28, 2002 Part 2
By Bandit | | General Posts
Continued From Page 1
BIKERNET?S PERFECT HUSBAND RESEARCH REPORT– There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
“Hello?”
“Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
“Yes.”
“Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?”
“What’s the price?”
“Only $1,500.00.”
“Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much…”
“Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price… and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year…”
“What price did he quote you?”
“Only $60,000…”
“OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.?
“Great! But before we hang up, something else…”
“What?”
“It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling our bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It’s on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property…”
“How much are they asking?”
“Only $450,000….a magnificent price…and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover…”
“Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?”
“OK, sweetie…Thanks! I’ll see you later!! I love you!!!”
“Bye…I do too…”
The man hangs up, closes the phone’s flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present:
“Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?”
–From MM
EASYRIDERS BANKRUPTCY REPORT–The ER thing is still swirling around in the bankruptcy court and the guy Imentioned some time ago (Fred Sands) is reported to still be pursuing atakeover of the company. There is supposed to be another court meeting nextweek.
In addition, popularbelief is that ER needs to go back to its days of old, meaning an elevatedcontent of raunch.
–Undercover agent
BUELL PRODUCTION SHUT DOWN–The rumor on the street is that Buell has discontinued production of all models except for the entry-level bikes.Personally, I would hate to see Buell go away. I believe from personal experience that Buell could be the street fighter bike for the young new rider who will ultimately ride Harleys.Hopefully it’s only a production glitch and will be remedied quickly. If you hear anything, let us know.
BIKERNET HUMAN CONDITION DEPARTMENT–If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have producedenough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee (hardly seems worth it).
NAVY SEAL NEIL ROBERTS RECENT DEATH–
What’s below is an e-mail I received that explains Neil’s situation a littlebetter than the press did. It’s disheartening to hear that a teammate fellout of a helicopter, was captured and executed. What’s below displays amore understandable and palatable rendition. I hope I would’ve done aswell; to the last cartridge.
I apologize in advance for the lengthy e-mail, but I have just gotten backfrom Neil’s funeral. There were over 1,000 people in attendance andneedless to say, it was moving. I had the opportunity to speak with severalindividuals, both in the Teams and in the Agency, who were in country at thetime of Neil’s death and who had also viewed the Predator video as well asanother video. The following is merely a sanitized compilation of theconversations I had and tid-bits from Fitz’s eulogy. The usual disclaimersapply and there is some stuff I need to leave out. And, I know I will notdo the story justice, nor could I ever hope to.
Supposedly…as the helo was on final, it came under fire. An air-crewmanfell off the back ramp and was dangling by his tether. Neil reached down topull him back in. An RPG hit the nose of the helo (didn’t explode) and thepilot subsequently made an evasive maneuver. Neil tumbled out (theair-crewman may have also mistakenly pulled Neil out while Neil was tryingto recover him or that may have not even of happened – doesn’t matter -bottom line, Neil fell from about 10 feet and was on the ground alone).
It isunclear as to whether or not the guys on board the helo knew that they had losta man. Helo peeled away, developed hydraulic problems and crash-landedabout a click away.
Neil turns on his beacon and low crawls to a position under fire. Neiltakes the offensive, firing and maneuvering against the enemy and allegedlystorms a machine-gun nest. Neil was shot several times, but continued thefight.
Apparently, the Predator video shows the mortal wound and Neil fallsto the ground (~an hour after he fell from the helo). He had expended allof his ammo, both primary and secondary, as well as his grenades. The videohas Neil shooting with his pistol at very close ranges to the enemy. He wasdead by the time the enemy arrived and dragged him off.
Not sure on whetherthey intended to use Neil’s body as a decoy! For an ambush or as abargaining chip or for another Somalia street dragging episode. Doesn’treally matter.
Then the boys came. The force was a mix of operators and arrived about 2hours later. As they expected, they encounter significant hostile fire, butreturned fire immediately. Apparently, a lot of undisclosed heroicsoccurred that night and there was significant payback (and I meansignificant). Several of our brothers were wounded, two of which were flownback to CONUS (one of whom may lose a foot). People are talking CMHlevel heroics – we’ll see. After fierce fighting and a valiant rescue,Neil’s body was recovered, as were the other dead, and all were evacuated.
Payback has continued in various ways and that is the stuff I can’t go into.But rest assured, what comes around is going around. Neil went downfighting and took many of those @^%$ with him (an unconfirmed number). Theridge upon which he died is now called Robert’s Ridge. He was posthumouslyawarded the Bronze Star with a V and a Purple Heart. Neil is now SpecOpsfolklore and a legend in the Teams for the rest of eternity, all roundsexpended.
YOU ARE INVITED!
Meet FastDates.com’s AMA Championship winning EBSCO Corona Extra Suzuki Team with riders Jimmy Moore, Jordan Szoke and Steve Rapp at Bert’s Mega Mall in Covina, CA on Wednesday April 3rd, 7-8pm. More information at http://www.bertsmotorccylemall.com
Meet the Hot Rod Bikes / White Brothers LA Calendar Bike Show Band “Powder” at their record Premier Party at the Key Club on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood, CA, also on Wednesday April 3rd, 7:30pm. Details at http://www.FastDates.com
Plus complete details of the 2002 July 20-21st Calendar Show sponsored by Performance Machine, The Recycler, Bikernet.com are online at http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.HTM
World Superbike Championship, Round 2 from Phillip Island, Australia. The web’s most exciting coverage of World Championship roadracing, available every Sunday night after the races. Introducing new roadrace editorial contributor Andy Rixon with complete race coverage and interviews from the front line!
FIRST LOOK! Kawasaki’s new MotoGP roadracer. The first ever worldwide photo of the new ZX 990RR set to debute on the racetrack later this year. http://www.FastDates.com/PitLaneNews.HTM
Continued On Page 3
Determining Fork Length
By Bikernet Contributor Rogue | | General Posts
Sponsored By:
Cycle Exchange
PO Box 275 – Hwy 51 South – Minocqua, WI 54548
Phone: (715) 356-7346 FAX: (715) 356-5896 Toll Free (877) 707-BIKE
© 2002 Cycle Exchange – All rights reserved
One item of widespread confusion between the custom buyer andbuilder is an uncertainty as to exactly how long his extended fork will be. Itmay be close to what he needs, but a difference in two will be. It may be closeto what he needs, but a difference in two inches or so either way can make amajor change in the looks and performance of an otherwise carefully designedscoot.
Trying to decide what length of fork, size of wheel, and theamount of rake can be a pain in the neck, so we have compiled some figures foryou that should make it a little easier. With the rear wheel and tire you’regoing to use installed on the frame, remove the fork and block the bottom ofyour frame until you have the height you want. Then get out your tape measureand play with some numbers until you come up with the combination you like. Wehave included a chart below to show what lengths our springers are (size =length in inches). To determine what length of fork tube to use for a stocktubular fork, measure the stock fork with weight on it before removing. Forexample, if your stock fork is 20 inches from the bottom cup the center of theaxle, and if after playing around with tire sizes, height, and so forth, youdetermine that you need 29 inches between the cup and the axle, you would ordera 9 inches over stock set of tubes for your bike.
|
FORK OVER STOCK SPRINGER (inches) |
FRAME CUP TO AXLE (inches) |
| 3 | 23 |
| 6 | 26 |
| 9 | 29 |
| 12 | 32 |
| 15 | 35 |
| 18 | 38 |
| TIRE SIZE | AXLE HEIGHT (inches) | TIRE DIAMETER (inches) |
| 300×16 | 11 | 22 |
| 250×18 | 11 5/8 | 23 1/4 |
| 275×18 | 11 3/4 | 23 1/2 |
| 300×18 | 12 | 24 |
| 275×19 | 12 1/4 | 24 1/2 |
| 300×19 | 12 1/2 | 25 |
| 325×19 | 13 | 26 |
| 275×21 | 12 3/4 | 25 1/2 |
| 300×21 | 13 | 26 |
| 500×16 | 12 7/8 | 25 3/5 |
| 500×18 | 13 | 26 |
| 400×18 | 13 1/4 | 26 1/2 |
| 400×19 | 13 3/4 | 27 1/2 |
March 21, 2002 Part 3
By Bandit | | General Posts
Continued From Page 2
Ink, Ink, Ink!!!
Here is a tattoo for ya! This back piece will be in Skin and Ink magazine pretty soon or already is out. His name is ‘Repo’. He is an actor and has danced with Calista Flockhart and recently fought with Burt Reynolds for a commercial for Maaco. He has a lot of great ink mostly be Mike Pike ‘Pshyco City Tattoo’ in Lancaster, Calif. This was a tattoo contest in Laughlin, Nev. He will probably be participating again this year. What a great run that is. Okay hope to see this picture posted on your site.
Later…. Laura
HOLD-UP GOES AWRY IN ANN ARBOR–: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that aman walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said hecouldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. Please note that these people are allowed to vote
NUTTBOY’S PROJECT FXR–It appears that the next project bike to roll out of the Bikernet Garage will be a ground up mystery motorcycle for the strange and unusual staff member Nuttboy. A Renaissance man, artist and college professor, Nuttboy’s major problem is that he’s short yet a spry judo champion, so we must build accordingly.
The plan it to build a robust fighting machine that’s different from anything that walks on the highways today. One of my inspirations was a bike built by Russ Tom at Downtown Seattle Harley-Davidson. Russ is a master in the custom bike arena and there’s only one other Harley dealer who focuses as much of his dealership on truly custom motorcycles and that Bob McKay in Canada.
Russ built a tight black rigid a couple of years ago with a twist. He shrunk it. He shortened the frame, tanks and front-end to give the bike a very snug, well proportioned look. Five years before Russ dreamed up his project the owner of the Broken Spoke Saloon in Sturgis, and a small shop outside Bisbee, Ariz., Jay Allen, did the same with a 45-inch trike. He narrowed the rear end and cut the frame to match the size of the engine, then shortened a front end to fit. Tightest trike you’ve ever scene.
We’re going to do the same with the chassis you see here for the ——– wild man, Nuttboy. There’s a competent frame guy in the Los Angeles are who goes by the name the Frame Doctor who we will see out to modify the frame and shorten the swingarm. We will machine a short set of leg for the front end then go to work on developing sheet metal and a tank to carry out the scheme.
We hope to kick this project off the drawing board within a week of my escape from the MV Leon out of the port of Houston. I’ll be on the first flight out of Houston for Los Angeles. Each segment will be available on the Bikernet as the bike comes together.
BIKERNET EAST REPORT FROM CRAZYHORSE–
I just finished up two features for The Horse. One about a pretty evil rigid I saw in Daytona. Geno had e-mailed me and asked if I would take a look at the bike and write something up. It turned into a extreme goose chase of sorts. The other article is a How-To-Do-Flames bit.
It was nice meeting Jose (Bikernet Caribbean) at the Rat’s Hole Show. Too bad he missed the bowling party. Billy Lane was relaxing there, basking in his well-deserved, builder of year victory. I met and hung out with all kinds of folks at the Rats Hole. It was the best time I ever had at that show. And I didn’t have single bike in it, first time in 9(?) years. Wow.
Well my Daytona Bikernet story this year in gonna be a very funny, wild one. I told Sin about it. She was stunned. She’d never heard anything like it, (do we have an official Bikernet Lawyer?)
Bandit asked me to do a personal experience story. I remember thinking, ‘ I hope something remotely wild or unique happens’. But a crazy hurricane of a woman blew in from the north. I was caught up in the storm before I knew it. Just ask the head gatekeeper at the Broken Spoke (or what’s left of it.) Right now I’m finishing up a few paint jobs before they get the rope out. Then I’ll open up that bottle of South Australian hooch and force myself to look through those Daytona pictures. Right now, it’s almost pumpkin time.– Crazy Horse
I wish I understood half of this. I’ll be waiting with baited breath for her report. Bandit
THE MAGIC SANDALS–This married couple was on holiday in India. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with an Indian accent say, “You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.”
So the married couple walked in. The Indian man said to them “I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like great desert camel.”
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?”
The Indian man replied, “Just try dem on, Saiheeb.”
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn’t seen in many years!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Indian man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Indian’s thighs.
The Indian then began screaming,”YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!
BEACH RIDE 2002 REPORT–As I mentioned last week, I’m on the committee for the Beach Ride in Ventura, Calif., in June or July. (Someone gimme the date, will ya?) I’m responsible for the bike show, so if you would like to attend, drop a note to Bandit@Bikernet.com. Keep in mind that this in a charity event put on by the Uglies motorcycle club and the Exceptional Children’s Foundation of Los Angeles.
Bikernet makes it a policy to support organizations and charities that specifically deal with children’s issues for a couple of reasons: As a biker I was a shitty father. I believe with both parents working and under today’s stress kids need all the attention and breaks they can find and finally because kids represent our future. Without good ones we don’t have much of a future.
The contract with Ventura County Parks Commission was finalized only a few weeks ago. Also, WAR has been booked to perform. We’re off and running (with scissors).
At the last core meeting, the committee decided to produce thejournal prior to the event for distribution at the BR Kick-Off/LA #1 PokerRun as well as to bike shops. This means that the production deadline ismoved up 1 month to May 1. (Less than 6 weeks away!)
–Kia
This is great news!— Forwarded by Partners Of The Road?http://members.tripod.com/partnersoftheroad/
Last night, the Sunland Park N.M. City Council unanimously voted down the helmet law, modified it to adhere to the State of New Mexico requirements with the amendment that all persons under the age of 21 be required whether a passenger or rider to wear a helmet while riding rather than the state required age of 18years of age. Consider it a victory that we as adults have won the freedom of choice. I thank all involved and the collective groups involved intend to show our thanks to Sunland Park by holding an event at The Racetrack and Casino sometime soon. WTCOC, TMRA2, TX State Rep Norma Chavez, NMCOC, NMMRO, and thanks to Revv of ABATE for his efforts though he missed this meeting because he was in the Midwest on business participated greatly down here on the issue. Bottom line: All internal strife aside, THIS IS WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT!
What happened last night is what we really need to concentrate on in the state of New Mexico. We have a legislative session coming up , which is going to take all the legislative power we can COLLECTIVELY muster in order to gain ground on what we stand for.
Bandido Eugene 1%er
Secretary, Las Cruces Chapter
Chairman NMCOC
NMMRO commitee member
BREAK TIME–That’s it. That’s all the news I have. Hell, I don’t have any real gossip to spread, except that Sinwu asked me if it would be OK if she picked up on girls at the parties we attend. What should I tell her?
With some help and encouragement from Kenny Price, the master behind Samson Exhaust, I’m looking forward to hand-fabricating the exhaust for Nuttboy’s bike when I return.
I finished the first draft of my second Chance book a handful of rocking days ago. I believe that it is my best effort. I have two desperate projects hanging over my head as we steam toward Houston. I need to find a publisher who also believes in a Jack Daniels drinking biker’s prose and I better top off the first book in the series before I reach port.
Old Dawg, the bastard who loaned me a laptop that would connect with the satellite phone I use to stay connected to base with, he laughed the other day when he found out I finished the second book before the first book was complete. Very fuckin’ funny.
March 21, 2002 Part 2
By Bandit | | General Posts
Continued From Page 1
Hot Bike presents the White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show
2-Day Weekend Streetbike Extravaganza set for July 20-21 at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach
The Show features all-weekend entertainment with live music by two incredible bands, Powder and Soto, the most competitive bike contest on the West Coast with its prestigious Hot Bike magazine Best of Show Trophy, and a Bikernet.com party on Saturday night aboard the Queen Mary with a huge fireworks display. Other activities include The White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, a FastDates.com Calendar Girl Pageant, and of course the premier of the 2003 FastDates.com Calendars with the beautiful calendar models in attendance. Together with over 125 major motorcycle and related product manufacturers, distributors and select retail vendors involved in the street bike market. Event hosts include the legendary Keith Ball, a.k.a. Bandit, and the lovely Brenda Fox.
?Our change to the two-day format last year was a necessity and a huge success as the Calendar Bike Show continues to grow every year,? explained event producer Jim Gianatsis of Gianatsis Design, a motorsports advertising design agency which also produces the popular FastDates.com Motorcycle Pinup Calendars. ?Motorcycle enthusiasts love our show because of its quality and excitement, all the top custom and race bikes, beautiful models, and the fact it has been the only outdoor bike event in Los Angeles County, now located on the ocean?s edge at the beautiful Queen Mary Park.?
The expanded show not only gives fans more time to enjoy it, but it provides real value. When most admission prices at sporting events, race tracks and outdoor amusement parks cost $40 – $50 per day, our Bike Show?s low one-day admission price is just $15 ($20 for both days) and includes free admission to the Queen Mary (a $15 admission to tourists).
With all the additional attractions that Long Beach has to offers including the ferry boat to Catalina Island with a day?s activities there, the Aquarium, the downtown restaurants and clubs, plus what greater Los Angeles has to offer, the LA Calendar Motorcycle Show is a must do attraction for across-the-country visitors and it will continue to grow as a major motorcycle week destination like Laughlin, Daytona and Sturgis.?
Spectators and Exhibitors can find out more about The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show, the Bike Contest and all the available weekend activities online at www.FastDates.com.
One For The Irish—
Paddy the Irishman died in a fire and was burnt prettybadly so the morgue needed someone to identify thebody. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean also Irishmen), were sent for. Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said “Yup,he’sburnt pretty bad. Roll him over”. So the morticianrolled him over. Seamus looked and said “Nope, itain’t Paddy”. The mortician thought that was ratherstrange and then he brought Sean in to identify thebody. Sean took a look at him and said, “Yup, he’sburnt real bad, roll him over”. The morticianrolled him over and Sean looked down and said, “No, it ain’t Paddy”. The mortician asked, “How can you tell?” Sean said, “Well, Paddy had two arseholes.” “What, he had two arseholes???” said the mortician. “Yup,everyone knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, “Here comes Paddy with them two arseholes….”
International Martial arts BoxingSeminar with Panhead RiderRICHARD BUSTILLO–a member of the Black Belt Hall of Fame – Instructor of the Year Award, the World Martial Arts Hall of Fame – Pioneer Award, and the Filipino Martial Arts Hall of Fame – Life Time Achievement Award, has the distinction of being certified as a law enforcement defensive tactics instructor with the FBI, LAPD, and the LASD.
Sifu Bustillo is a founding member of the Bruce Lee Educational Foundation and a senior instructor of Bruce Lee’s Jun Fan Jeet Kune Do. He is a recognized 9th degree black belt and Grandmaster with the fame Cacoy Doce Pares Eskrima of Cebu, Philippines.Sat/Sun., Apr. 27 & 28, 2002 @ Integrated Martial Arts @ Fitness113 So. Livingston Ave., Livingston, NJ
The hands-on training is not designed to compete against your style but will compliment all levels from beginner to advanced. We will not teach you only martial art techniques. We will teach you to be able to develop it. We call this process Jun Fan Jeet Kune Do. Evolve with change for a simple and practical seminar. Under age 18 must have prior approval to attend. No spectators or video allowed. Come see why Richard Bustillo is one of the most acclaimed and sought after martial artist.
Jun Fan Jeet Kune Do Saturday Morning @ 9 A.M. to 11:30 A.M.Bruce Lee’s basic footwork, hand/foot speed, explosive power and strength drills, philosophies, and training concepts to enhance the three combat ranges below.
Jujitsu/Wrestling Saturday Afternoon @ 1 P.M. to 3:30 P.M.Learn basic standing and ground grappling. Sense body positioning for escapes and defense. Recognize submission holds, locking drills, reverses and counters.
Boxing/Muay Thai Sunday Morning @ 9 A.M. to 11:30 A.M.Bring focus gloves and Thai pads for offense/defense/counter drills on Boxing and Muay Thai. Understand training techniques for self defense and sport.
Cacoy Doce Pares Eskrima Sunday Afternoon @ 1 P.M. to 3:30 P.M.Bring double stick and single stick for training drills for Pangamot (empty hand), Agaw (disarming), Dumog (grappling), and Pormas (forms).
Fee: $100.00/Pre-registration by April 20, 2002$115.00/Door fee, $65.00/per day or $45.00/per sessioncontact: Sifu Don Edwards (973) 422-1500http://www.imafit.com
I was training with Sifu Bustillo before I left and will take up classes with the man when I return. He’s the best, his Panhead is almost as old has he is, but he can’t swim for shit.Bandit
Suckin? Up—These pics are from Rigid Frame Richard. He?s the man!
SCREAMIN? EAGLE NHRA PRO STOCK DRAG RACING TEAM DEBUTS IN GAINESVILLE
Expectations Remain High Even Though Team Doesn?t Qualify for Main Event
MILWAUKEE, WIS. – (March 18, 2002) The Screamin? Eagle/Vance & Hines National Hot Rod Association (NHRA) Pro Stock Bike drag racing team made its debut at the NHRA Mac Tools Gatornationals in Gainesville, Florida this past weekend. Although the team didn?t make the show on Sunday, their expectations remain high they will become the first V-Twin in a full field of 16 to qualify for a Pro Stock Bike event and become competitive in the series.
?We knew going into the weekend we were not where we wanted to be with the new program. Doing final testing and tuning at the track was very risky business, but we also knew we would learn valuable information under actual race conditions,? said Mike Kennedy, director of marketing Harley-Davidson Parts and Accessories. ?While we didn?t accomplish the first part of our mission by not qualifying, we did learn a lot and got fantastic fan reaction and support in Gainesville.?
On Friday, the Screamin? Eagle/Vance & Hines team ran quarter-mile elapsed times (E.T.s) of 7.704 and 7.687 seconds. Saturday morning?s run dropped to an encouraging 7.572 but the team ended the afternoon session with a 7.691. The bump time for Sunday?s show was 7.396.
?Unfortunately, we put ourselves in a tough position, as we haven?t totally fine-tuned this V-Twin package. The good news is we are producing plenty of power, we just need to spend some more time testing and convert this power to much better times on the track,? said team engine builder Byron Hines.
The other good news coming out of the weekend came from rider GT Tonglet, who produced great reaction times (R.T.s) throughout qualifying, and was pleased with the potential of his new ride and the support of Harley-Davidson fans. ?The new Screamin? Eagle V-Rod is a blast to run and I?m happy with our progress,? said Tonglet. ?The fans in Gainesville were great. They were excited we were out there and let us know in the pits and from the stands.?
?Moving forward, the combination of resources we have on this program could not be better,? said Kennedy. ?Vance and Hines has an unmatched record in NHRA Pro Stock Bike. This team will figure it out and get us in the show.?
Craig Treble won the Gatornationals Pro Stock Bike final aboard his Matco Tools Suzuki with a .429 R.T. and a 7.248 E.T. at 184.17 MPH.
Screamin? Eagle Performance Parts are inspired by and built in the spirit of the raw adrenaline and power of motorcycle racing, offering both racing-grade and street-legal performance options for the Harley-Davidson motorcycle owner. Visit www.harley-davidson.com for more information.
Continued On Page 3
March 21, 2002 Part 1
By Bandit | | General Posts
GEORGE CHRISTIE RELEASED—That’s right, after one of the biggest cases ever in Ventura County, Calif., courts fell apart, George Christie, his daughter and son were released. Several months ago, the entire Ventura County Chapter of the Hells Angels was arrested and a bunch of other suspects and the clubhouse was confiscated.
In the last couple days, the court cut George loose, returned most of the confiscated money and their clubhouse. George pleaded guilty to one charge of conspiracy and no contest to one count of tax evasion.
“I had to admit to being the boss,” George told me this morning via satellite phone from the middle of the Pacific.
I’ve known George for over 30 years and recently wrote a story in HORSE magazine about a Yuma Prison Run we went on in 1973. Watch for it.
CANTINA SOAP OPERA HEATS UP–When we kicked off Bandit’s Cantina, we decided that it needed its own soap opera, and so the Bandit’s Cantina Soap Opera was established. Of course it’s wild, racy and full of suspense. We endeavor to put up a new chapter every couple of weeks, after the board of directors fights over whether we’ve gone over the racy line or not.
Bikernet Caribbean Report—Another week is going by, seems like we are heading for the summer atextreme “velocipede,” with all the California rides, The Horse Smoke Out andSturgis. It’s all coming up sooner than we think….
Like I’ve said before, it’s a lot of fun meeting people in this industry. Wehave received lots of e-mails, calls and letters congratulating ourcontributions here and on various magazines, (and some bashing too) but ingeneral the responses have been more than positive. It still amazes me theamount of people who are reached by Bikernet and the magazines. We want tothank all those who took the time to say hi, to drop a message or to justcall on the phone. Thanks a lot guys! It’s not easy to do this stuff weekafter week, monthly in some cases, and juggle our pretty busy schedules inbetween, but, to tell you the truth, it’s all worth it. This is a great wayto say what I want to say every time I feel like it. Maybe in another lifewe could have helped Bandit when Easyriders was worth buying. Look at itthis way, we are 4,000 miles away from San Pedro, but we still manageto communicate every day with all of you. That’s amazing !
We don’tadvertise in magazines so our chances of having bikes featured are slim tonone, but we still manage to do it once in awhile, how come? Sweat, bustedknuckles, lots of work and, most important, very good friends we havemet along the way. The best of all is that this is only the beginning. Sure, we also receive our share of critics. We listen to the ones who make sense and say “fuck off” to the ones who just do it for the hell of it. All in all we are pretty happy with all this, just wish that we had more time,more resources, and more space to show what we’ve got. Oh well…..
I guess “I’m going editorial” like Bandit says, but since he won’t be herefor another couple of weeks…….
We were talking about bikes (so what’s new) and decided to refer to bikesin a different way. We were trying to use a word for a bike that is not achopper. We call them “normal” or “regular” bikes, but we ended up beingasked what normal was. (Good question.)
So we came up with a comparison. A normal bike is a Hot Bike bike, a Rubchopper is a Street Chopper bike and a cool chopper is a ?The Horse bike.?Easyriders and Biker mix them up so we could not use them, so let’s saythat a Ness bike is a Hot Bike, a Choppers Inc. is The Horse, am I makingsense? Jet ski graphics belong to Hot Bike, Flames, The Horse and on andon.
To make a long story short, if someone asks me if I like his bike, I sayit could be a Hot Bike bike. No one gets insulted and we all stay confused,simple! I’m saying this ’cause it seems like there’s more and more gaudy,complex bikes, and less simple ones (duuhh). A bike show will be won by themost colors, gadgets and chrome, not by craftsmanship or sweat. I have seenamazing bikes (in my opinion) that are ignored cause they don’t happen tohave flashy colors or the latest billetry. To those guys who know whatI’m talking about, we salute you! A trophy does not make a cool bike.
Ohwell, enough babbling, let’s hit the news…..
We heard that Frank Kaisler left Hot Rod Bikes magazine to search forgreener pastures. We will miss him and his crew (which seems to have vanishedfrom the mag too). We also miss the chicks in skimpy clothes but we guessthat the powers to be (Hot Bike who bought HRB) have different plans forthe publication…
Our local San Juan HOG chapter will have its first ride of the year thiscoming weekend. They are doing a two-day jaunt to the town of Ponce. It’sincredible that they allow them there after last time’s mayhem.Also the Desertores will have a ride April 7 in Caguas, followed by the big BBQ- presentation from our local H-D dealer. We aregoing to share space at one of our local malls in a Harley exhibition.It’s pretty cool when you can show your choppers at the same space as thefactory products (and invited by them, might I add). The exhibition featuresnew and old models(which, by the way, we provide Laughlin is near, so get ready for some fun in the desert. Also we heardthat 18 or so riders from Puerto Rico are heading over to Laconia, ridingin from Orlando, Fla. Quite a trip, we wish them the best. Also, we heard some rumors, and I MEAN rumors, that the third MotorcycleMania is on the drawing board. We really hope that the huge success ofthose two programs expands into a whole bunch of airplay for bikers ingeneral. Hell, maybe they will give us a call. Chaos in the Caribbean wouldbe a fun thing to watch. Time to get outta here, the wrenches are calling…..Ah! To finish this, weare working on a whole section of our bikes here in Bikernet(if the almighty Bandit gives us the space) as soon a we have the time wewill start sending those photos, hope you like them. See ya’ next week…. Jose — Caribbean (and sometimes World) Bikernet report. Jose, if Bandit doesn?t make room in the site for your bikes, I will. Sin Continued On Page 2
March 14, 2002 Part 4
By Bandit | | General Posts
Continued From Page 3
BIKERNET DEAL OF THE WEEK–Wassup bro, I’m tryin to sell some of my used parts on your site but don’t move around real well in cyber space, kind of like ridden a rigid halfway cross country and then goin’ out chasin’ whores and doin’ burnouts at the Iron Horse. How about E-mailing me back and smooth things out for me to run this list of parts…?
Know anybody looking for some early 900 sporty elec. start cases? How about a 54 K model?? Keep your powder dry bro, Larry, Larydababa@aol.com.
DAYTONA REPORTS–Over the next week you’ll see so much bullshit about Daytona, you’ll get cross-eyed. Rogue has already reported in. I’m hoping for something special for Joann Bortels who is also writing some of the bike mags.
Initially the report is, well here’s one quote, ” Just got back from Daytona, The weather was fucked so it wasn’t as crowded as usual.” from Larry. Another reliable source said that since this year followed the 60th numbers are expected to be down.
Watch for a series of reports to be launched shortly.
Leather Help From A Bikernet Regular—
The proper way to patch a hole in your jacket.
Before
BIKERNET REPORT ON BIKERNET REPORT ON–Month before last we almost hit 2 million hits. Here’s the latest, good or bad. We’re still growing, yet the hit count is down this month. John Siebenthaler said that hit counts aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on and he’s a marketing expert. That’s his business. So here are the other figures in addition to the hits.
These numbers are not generated by the staff, but an independent source, Web Trends, through our server. Does that mean they’re accurate? You goddamn right.
Date & Time This Report was Generated Saturday March 02, 2002 – 06:40:36
Timeframe 01/31/02 16:00:04 – 02/28/02 15:59:24
Number of Hits for Home Page 32,468
Number of Successful Hits for Entire Site 1,771,321
Number of Page Views (Impressions) 311,471
Number of Visits 109,496
Average Number of Hits Per Day 63,261
Average Number of Page Views Per Day 11,123
Average Number of Visits Per Day 3,910
Average Visit Length 00:08:20
Number of Unique Visitors 36,803
Engineers perspective
VENTURA, CALIFORNIA BEACH RIDE SIGNS WAR FOR SUMMER EVENT–Since I’m out of the loop except on the vicious rumors, don’t quote me. The Beach Ride which I’m a committee member of (missed a few meetings this year so far, oops) celebrated its 10th anniversary last year. This one-day event in July is a pure Charity Event for the Exceptional Children’s Foundation in Los Angeles. We at Bikernet support two efforts, grass roots motorcycle rights organizations and children’s charities. Last I heard the committee was still in negotiations with the Ventura Parks people over their usual location. Unfortunately the parks people are not a friendly bunch and hit up this wonderful charity for a large chunk of the profits. On a positive note the Beach Ride is sponsored by the Uglies Motorcycle Club which is very connected to the film and music industry and this event draws the best bands and this year they are already boasting WAR and perhaps Toto along with several major names who come every year. I’ll have more reports in the near future.
BELT DRIVE LIMITED LAUNCHED NEW CLUTCH SETS–This report takes the cake. Beyond knowing that BDL is launching a new line of clutches for big twins I know nothing. I mean it. I don’t know which models they will fit, if they will fit stock bikes, early years or only their own belt drive lines. I don’t know shit, and we’ve been trying to find out more for a few weeks. Check their section on the site and drop them a note. Maybe you can pull some weight from the boys at BDL and we can post more info.BDL
How good is your trailer hitch?
TAKE A BREAK–I mean it. We all work too fuckin’ hard trying to impress someone with a title, another degree or a pay raise. What the fuck for? The whole world is out there to enjoy. Life is too short and tomorrow your health or life could be scooped out from under you like magician yanking the lace table cloth out from under a silver place setting. That fast lane can change in a blink, so take some time to enjoy it, goddamnit. Make some time for your old lady and the kids instead of shoving them off to a fuckin’ daycare center or pushing them in front of a television, ’cause you’ve got bullshit paperwork to do at night. If you don’t have a family, take the time to ride, work on a scoot and chase women. It’s all part of the adventures of life. Ride Forever, Bandit.
March 14, 2002 Part 3
By Bandit | | General Posts
Continued From Page 2
Hey Bandit—I still can’t figure out why these back tires wear out so fast?Happy New Year from “Bikeweek”
Kyle…
CRUISING RIDER AND AMERICAN RIDER SHARE EDITORS–Buzz Buzzelli of American Rider fame was recently kidnapped from his office and is being held hostage in a small tin shed behind the Buell Factory in Wisconsin. It could have been something he wrote, or hell, something he didn’t. Josh Placa a true company man raised his hand at a recent board meeting at Ehlert Publishing Group and volunteered to edit two issues of American Rider during the strenuous negotiating process. Rumor has it that if Buzz is not freed before the summer waves of heat and humidity drench said shed, he’s dead.
Josh who is headquartered in Sedona, Arizona immediately called the Bikernet headquarters for assistance. American Rider has recently been smeared on the drawing board for design changes and with Josh at the helm, who knows what will happen. Watch for it and report in if you notice improvements.
The Lovely Sasha Reports In—-
Bandit:
This photo is from my most recent photo session with photographer KarenFuchs here in NYC. She’s a popular sports figure and music artistphotographer.
Bike is courtesy of Chrome & Custom Cycles in New Jersey, built by JC. Lovethe pants? Thanks to Jan’s custom leather designs at House of Rousseaux.She designed this whole outfit just for me. The matching halter is awesometoo, but the session lights were just too hot for a top!
Sweet dreams!
Love always,
Sasha
The HELLBENT Event—
We were very honored when the Monterey Boyz asked us to do this Event with them, Sonny, and HELLBENT Custom Motorcycles. It is truly going to be a Rock Star Weekend because the night before this Event is Oakland’s infamous and widely notorious St. Patty’s Day Party. The party at HELLBENT Custom Motorcycles kicks off at 10am the very next day… (I think you see where I am going with this)
So, come party like a Rock Star with us next weekend. Show us what you are made of. And if you do not wear anything GREEN, well, you’ve heard of the “PIMPIN’ CREW”? Well, you had better keep an eye out for the “PINCHIN’ CREW”!!
No Blue Shirts/Khaki Pants
DEVIL DOLLS MOTORCYCLE CLUB
Goth
“Afghanistan Liberal Cruise”– We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn’t forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W. Bush became President. With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who want to keep their promise.
ATTENTION:
Would Alec Baldwin, Barbara Streisand, Rosie O’Donnell, Cher, Phil Donahue, David Geffen, Julia Roberts, Brad & Jennifer Pit, PierreSalinger, and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all U.S. assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, “Elation” which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.
You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq. The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.
Please pack for an extended stay…at least four years and you should consider the possibility of eight years.
Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.
Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton- as captain, Al Gore-as cruise director, Monica Lewinsky- as recreation director, Ted Kennedy- as lifeguard and emergency procedures Director, Rev. Jesse Jackson-as spiritual advisor and marriage counselor, and ex-Congressman Gary Condit – as intern coordinator.
If you’ve any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her ‘village’ can raise your children (while you’re gone) and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.
“Bon Voyage!”
—–Chris
Continued On Page 4