BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–I’M BACK BUT SOMEWHAT ROUGH AROUND THE EDGESI’m not sure how to say this. You roll through life thinking you have at least a little control. You sit in a bar on Friday night and shoot the shit with your brothers with some level of confidence about what you’re talking about. Then, in seconds, with one snap action, your entire viewpoint on life can be dramatically altered.

Think about this for just a second. I was flying down a desolate highway in Wyoming at 80 mph on one of the sweetest motorcycles I’ve ever ridden. I had just spent a couple of hours in a town I have never ridden through. I knew one woman there, the owner of a hair/nail salon, who invited me to a book signing. I was completely blown away by the number of bikers who attended, and the response I received. I had a great time with wonderful folks from the small town of Worland, population 4,000. I was 25 of the 30 miles back to Thermopolis, where the crew was hanging for the ride to Sturgis the following day, when I spotted a deer some 100 yards up front, darting across the open highway.

The moon was full, but there was a serious bank of clouds in the sky threatening rain. The warm moon glow popped only occasionally around banks of clouds. I held the highbeam switch on the left handlebar most of the time as I cut along the road.

I only had a handful of miles remaining when I spotted the deer. I took it as a warning and turned the throttle back. It didn’t matter though. Another deer, perhaps a parent of the one ahead, jammed into my lane so fast I couldn’t avoid a collision. In a matter of seconds my life was scattered to the wind. I could have been killed or broken in half and my entire life changed. I broke several ribs, split my skull, crushed a lung and collected some serious road rash. I was knocked out on the pavement. If some guys in a truck hadn’t stopped to check out my injured Buell, they would have run over me. When the ambulance arrived, I was standing beside my bike.

The full story will be covered in my Sturgis 2001 saga in the near future. But there’s one aspect that needs to be addressed now. I may sound like a fool, but I don’t care. I’ll just spill my guts and you take it for what it’s worth.

I want to thank everyone who has written the site and attempted to help me through this. I want to let the people in my life know that I love them. There’s no way for me to explain the warmth of emotion I feel for everyone on the site, all the guys I’ve known for 30 years or more in this field. I suppose that there’s a risk each one of us takes each time we fire up our rides and split lanes. So few realize what an adventure riding motorcycles is and the passion of what riding is all about. I remember a boss saying to me once that we were in the motorcycle magazine business to make money, and I looked at him in disbelief. This incident brought that lesson home. There’s nothing about riding motorcycles that has anything to do with making money. We are in this because of each and every adventure, because of the love we have for the bikes, the solidarity on the road, the brotherhood, the creativity of what we can do with the machine we ride, and the passion that never ends.

Just remember that no matter what you do, it can disappear in seconds. We are so lucky to be able to breathe, shift gears and reach out to someone, even if it’s just to say a kind word. Why is it that more and more, making money becomes such a high priority? If you died tomorrow, what differences would all the money make? If you could pick up the phone to call a friend, spend precious moments making love, enjoy a ride to help a brother, how does that compare to a lifeless bank account?

Now, let’s get to the news.

ATHLETE?–A guy met a beautiful blonde and he decided he wanted to marry her rightaway.

She said, “But we don’t know anything about each other.”

He said,”That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.” So sheconsented, and they were married, and went on ahoneymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were laying by the pool,when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did atwo anda half tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations injackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water likeaknife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on thetowel.

She said,” That was incredible!”

He said, “I used to be an Olympicdiving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about ourselves as wewent along.”

So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps.After about thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on hertowelhardly out of breath.

He said, “That was incredible! Were you an Olympic enduranceswimmer?”

“No,” she said, “I was a hooker in Davenport, Iowa and I workedboth sides of the river!!”

–Chris and Joerline

HARLEY-DAVIDSON CELEBRATION DATES–It’s official. H-D has announced the dates in 2003 for their celebration and party.August 28 – 31, 2003 in MilwaukeeWe will leave Seattle on Monday, August 25 for the 45 hour trip, putting us in Milwaukee Wednesday evening for a great start on Thursday morning. We are returning on Tuesday, Sept. 2 if the two day loading of bikes is required.

If you are still interested and have not paid your $100 deposit, it is now required to assure your place on the train. The first 200 deposits in get their choice of trains [if two trains are required on consecutive days].

CLEAR THINKERS– Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.”

—Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

STURGIS REPORT– Whenever Carolina HD’s Click Baldwin is involved, you know it’s gonna getwild. Click called me today from Sturgis and told me of his latestadventures. Click flew out to Calif. last week. He pulled out of ArlenNess’s place with about 20 Hamsters. By the time they reached Sturgis, thenumber had grown to 75. He’s been out there tearing it up with Donnie,Perowitz, Ness, Yaffe, just to mention a few. He played golf for the firsttime ever in the Arlen Ness Invitational Golf Tournament. Click, Paul Yaffe,and several others, were brought into the Hamsters organization this week.Dave Perowitz, along with the Governor of South Dakota, Woman Rider editor;Genevieve Schmitt, and others were inducted into the National MotorcycleHall of Fame. One night Click rode down to Deadwood and hung with Danny Greyat his bar, The Roadhouse. Another night, he partied with Dave Bell, an HDdealer from Michigan. Bob Guidry, a dealer out of Louisiana threw partyCajun style on Wed. night. Downtown was not so crowded, he said. You canactually get around.

NOBLES TAKES WIN AT WEST VIRGINIA PRO THUNDER RACE–Buell Racers Make it a Seven Race Podium Streak and Win Three Out of Last Four. Buell Racer Tripp Nobles scored his first Pro Thunder win of the season by picking up a victory at the AMA/WERA National race at Summit Point, West Virginia.

“It sure feels good to stand on top of the box,” said Nobles. “I’ve been way overdue.”Nobles and teammate Dave Estok took their Don Tilley-tuned Buell X-1s to the front at the start of the race and were swapping the lead every other lap until Estok’s bike developed an electrical problem on lap 10, which did not allow him to continue. Nobles was challenged for the lead late in the race but regained the top spot on the last lap and hung on for the win.

Ducati’s Tom Montano finished second while Jeff Nash, also aboard a Ducati, finished third. Buell of Frederick rider Bryan Bemisderfer, in his first Pro Thunder appearance, rode to a respectable fourth place finish on his S-1 Lightning.

Nobles’ win continues the streak of at least one Buell on the podium at every Pro Thunder race this year. It also means Buell racers have won three of the last four Pro Thunder finals.

The next AMA Pro Thunder event will be held at Pikes Peak International Raceway in Fountain, CO, on August 24 – 26. ?????? To learn more about Buell motorcycles, visit your local Buell dealer today and experience the pure streetfighter attitude, style and performance only found on board a Buell. Call 1-800-490-9635 for the Buell dealer nearest you. Or pull into www.buell.com.World biker arrives in VancouverA round the world motorcyclist arrives in Vancouver on Tuesday 7thAugust.Simon Milward, a 36 year old Briton, arrives by ferry from PrinceRupertbecause his engine is about to blow up. BC Ferries sponsored the ridetosave him a few thousand km. He recently crossed to Anchorage AlaskafromMagadan in Russia’s extreme NorthEast.

Milward left England on 1st January 2000 and theCanada is the 29th country on his global adventure.He has ridden 76,000km through Europe, the MiddleEast, South Asia, Indonesia, Australia, SE Asia,Japan and Russia.

Some memorable experiences en route include amarriage proposal at Cairo’s pyramids, meeting theDalai Lama in India, escaping marauding militants inTimor, serious accidents in Saudi Arabia, Nepal andthe Australian Outback, riding through the front linesof a civil war in Laos and most recently nearlydrowning on Russia’s flooded Road of Bones.

There is a serious side to Milward’s trip of a lifetime.He aims to raise US$100,000 for two medical aiod charities.One is Doctors Without borders, which recently wonthe Nobel Peace Prize. The other is Health for All, specializing inhealthcare delivery to out of reachAsian regions by economical motorcycle. His primary aim in NorthAmericais to find sponsorship for twelvemotorcycles for use in a new project in Indonesian Flores. Thisintroducesa proven African idea to Asia.Yamaha has kindly offered a 30% discount at $1000 per motorcycle. Thevalue of medical aid sponsorship he has raised so far is nearly$26,000.

Donations can be made via www.millennium-ride.com, or if you see astrangelooking bike on the continent’s highways, flag him down, thrust somedollars in his face and demand a badge.

POPEYE’S GRANDSON SLIPS AWAY

–On top of my deer hunting episode on the open Wyoming highway, the woman who has been holding Bikernet together on the coast was also caring for her dying dad at home, who at 76 was rapidly slipping away. Monday – Aug. 6th he fell asleep peacefully, never to wake.

This is difficult to explain and yet paints a dramatic picture of this man’s existence and history. He lived in San Pedro most of his life and since he was a kid he spent one stretch of time after another working on one aspect of the harbor after another, from stitching nets in Alaska, to commercial fishing to being a longshoreman to being the crewman of one commercial ship after another. As you can imagine his seven kids never spent long stretched of time with him and often only saw the old man when mom took them down to the docks to collect child support. From time to time he told a story of his grandfather and the artist who created the Popeye character, and for years the kids thought he was full of shit. As it turn’s out Popeye was created after their great grand father who ran a fishing fleet in Santa Monica. When he smoked his corncob pipe, he kept his teeth in a bag around his neck because once he lost them spitting into the ocean. He always wore the hat that Popeye was known for. The white pants, the hardlined style and tough as nails personality was based on ——- Olaf Olsen.

If you happen to run across a copy of Latitudes And Attitudes, the sailing magazine produced by ex-biker, Bob Bitchin, you’ll see the article on Popeye’s Great Granddaughter who is Layla, my babe and you’re contact here at Bikernet when I’m hammered under a deer.

Layla’s daughter Karley read the following Sailormen’s Prayer at Harold Olsen’s Service last night:

The Lord is my pilot; I shall not drift
He lights me across the dark waters. He steers me through the deep channels.
He keeps my log. He guides me by the star of Holiness for his name’s sake.
As I sail though the storms and tempests of life I will dread no danger; for your are near me; your love and care shelter me.
You prepare a haven before me in the homeland of eternity;
You quieten the waves with oil; my ship rides calmly.
Surely sunlight and starlight shall be with me wherever I sail, and at the end of my voyage I shall rest in the port of my god.

Good-bye dad, I’ll love you forever and miss you like crazy.
Layla

THAT’S IT BROS–I need to rest, but my heart is with you over each mile you sail or ride. –Bandit

WHILE THE CAT’S AWAY, THE MICE WILL PLAY (CONTINUED)

Continued From Page 2

Carribean Report

By the time you read this we will be (we hope) near Sturgis. We have beenwatching the weather and all the crap that’s been going around in theMidwest, seems like Bandit is staying dry, for now. The Caribbean is no funeither, ashes from the Volcano “Soufriere” in Montserrat have traveled allover the islands and deposited by the rains. These ashes leave a very”caulky” residue and are murder for car paint. Oh well, seems like theashes are better than storms from the Atlantic (the ones that createhurricanes). The less rain we get on the way to South Dakota the better,and the quicker the trip will be, even worse would be that it rained duringthe rally, but that would be Mr. Murphy at his best. Oh well, here we gowith the quick news.

A ride for Cucho will take place Aug. 5. The purpose is to raise fundsfor his recuperation and hospital bills.At the same time a ride will take place in Orlando, Fla., for the samepurpose. Too bad I don’t have the meeting place in Orlando to inform. I canpost an address later on for those who are willing to help.

Jesse James, Indian Larry and the crew should be on the way to Sturgis. They plan to ride the whole way while filming for the new Discovery show.

If you have thought about building a WCC bike, here’s another hint, theonly battery that will work on their bike is a Big Boar BB300 mini. It’sonly 41/8 inches tall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill Of No Rights

The following has apparently been to State Representative MitchellKaye from Georgia. I hope this guy runs for president:

“We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to helpeveryone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any moreriots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure theblessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and ourgreat-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordainand establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny,guilt ridden, delusional and other liberal, bed-wetters. We hold thesetruths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused bythe Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of NoRights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV orany other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquirethem, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. Thiscountry is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone –not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express adifferent opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probablyalways will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If youstick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do notexpect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relativesindependently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladlyhelp anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizinggeneration after generation of professional couch potatoes who achievenothing more than the creation of another generation of professionalcouch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That wouldbe nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just notinterested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people.If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t besurprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others.If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of othercitizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lockyou away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a bigscreen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don’t have the right to demand that our childrenrisk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. Wehate oppressive governments and won’t lift a finger to stop you fromgoing to fight if you’d like. However, we do not enjoy parenting theentire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battlingeach and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don’t have the right to a job. All of us sure want allof you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, butwe expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education andvocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an Americanmeans that you have the right to pursue happiness – which, by the way,is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idioticlaws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.”

If you agree, we strongly urge you to forward this to as many peopleas you can. No, you don’t have to, and nothing tragic will befall youshould you not forward it. We just think it is about time that commonsense is allowed to flourish – call it the age of reason revisited.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Abby

My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but has cheated our entire marriage. He’s a good provider and has many friends and supporters.

They know he’s a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue. He’s a hard worker, but many of his co-workers are leery of him. Each time he gets caught, he denies it all.

Then he admits he was wrong, and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for years and years. Everyone in town knows he’s a cheat. I don’t know what to do.

Signed,

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated:

You should dump him…. Now that you’re a New York senator, youdon’t need him anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Picotte Takes 11th, Smith 12th at BrainerdTeammates Duel in 11th Round of AMA Superbike Series

BRAINERD, Minn. (July 30, 2001) – Harley-Davidson VR 1000 Superbike racerPascal Picotte finished 11th while teammate Mike Smith took 12th Sunday atthe Colonel’s Brainerd International Raceway in the 11th round of the AMASuperbike Series.

According to Harley-Davidson Director of Racing John Baker, the VR 1000’shorsepower shortage was evident on Brainerd’s mile-long straight. However,Baker said, expected horsepower improvements should be seen in the nearfuture.”The development team has been hard at work in developing improved power andengine performance,” said Baker. “Those changes are currently being testedand evaluated. Based on those tests, we expect to see gains on the tracksoon.”

Picotte and Smith battled each other throughout Sunday’s race, swappingpositions numerous times during the 21-lap event.”He would get me in one corner and then I would draft and get by him – wehad some fun,” said Smith. “He had a little better set up off the cornersand once he got a lapped rider between us later in the race, I couldn’t doanything about that.”

Honda’s Nicky Hayden took first at Brainerd, edging teammates Kurtis Robertsand Miguel Duhamel, who took second and third respectively.The Harley-Davidson VR 1000 Team will next race Aug. 24-26 in the AMASuperbike Series at Pikes Peak International Raceway in Fountain, Colo.

Price Runs All 200 mph Passes-Finals Rescheduled for Norwalk

Stanton, Mich.: Ray Price, Raleigh, NC’s Harley-Davidson dealer qualified thirdat the CarQuest Northern Nationals, Mid Michigan Motorplex, Stanton, Mich. In afield where the top seven teams ran in excess of 200 is significant but Price’sconsistency was just dazzling. All Price passes were in excess of 200,another feather in the cap of the Hall of Fame inductee.

“The team really worked hard and really hung together. We were the mostconsistent bike on the track all weekend.” (202.45, 205.13, 207.46, 208.49,211.63, and 214.45 mph) “We scuffed a piston and have minimal work to dobefore the next race,” said Price.

Price had left Raleigh feeling good about his team and his Screamin’ EagleNitro Harley-Davidson and was well prepared for the next two weeks of racingbut after making it too the final round, he’ll have to wait for the finalpass at Stanton. IHRA officials deemed the shutdown to be unsafe for thenitro two-wheelers and the CarQuest Northern National final between Price andSteve Stordeau will be postponed until Norwalk, Ohio Aug. 23-26.

Ray Price Racing is supported by Ray Price Harley- Davidson, Raleigh HOG, S &S Cycle, Cintas, Power Arc Ignition Co., Ultra Pro Machining, JIMS, RoyalPurple Synthetic Motor Oil, Shumaker Racing, Performance Machine, BarnettTool & Engineering, Vanson’s, Carolina Cobras, and Wilder’s Inc

Just a quick hello to Chris Trolone and his brother Bob. Bob did the painting. Sorry guys, I don’t know who’s who!

~Sin

Well, good night all. This news business is for the birds. Too much time spent on a computer for me, while I’m on vacation, I mean.

Hopefully Bandit will be home by next Friday. The girls and I are having a good time, but we really miss the big guy.
Phone sex is fun every now and then but there’s nothing like the touch of someone you love.

Have a great weekend,

~Sin, Layla and Coral

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–DUAL EVENTS, DUAL COASTS, BOTH DRAMATIC SUCCESSES (CONTINUED)

Continued From Page 1

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Like some people say, no news is good news. Seems that there’snot much to report this week. The tropical storms have been rolling down from theAfrican coast, which means rainy weather for all of us in the Caribbean. Atleast all those cold fronts and rain from the U.S. are keeping the hurricanesaway, for now. I hope Bandit’s not getting soaked on his way to theBlack Hills. We all have been riding while it’s raining, but a couplethousand miles must be the ultimate bitch! By the way, last week’s photoof the bike is not a BMC, it’s one of our rigids (yes, it’s for sale) andthe WCC won’t be ready before the trip, we are still waiting for some parts(the seat!) and we won’t have time to give her the proper shakedown beforeheading north. I’m sure the bike will be posted as soon as it’s done androlling.On Sept. 29, there will be a ride to raise funds for Cucho’shospital bills (Cucho is our friend who had the accident in Oklahoma a fewweeks ago). The Desertores will take care of the organizing and logistics. We are pretty sure everyone and their mothers will show up for this one.The September issue of The Horse features riders and bikes from Havana, Cuba.Try to pick that one up at your favorite dealership. Most of the guys there aregood friends and go to hell and back just to maintain those bikes.I have some photos of a ride we participated in in Cuba, which we will postsooner or later.

Here’s a photo of the rig, stashed in the barge on its way to Florida.It’s not an easy task, but not impossible either, and well worth it. If youhave any plans to visit the Caribbean and would like to ride in PuertoRico, give us a call. It’s not as expensive as you might think.Oh well, that’s it for this week. We will be out of it for a couple more(unless I can get my hands on a computer in Sturgis), but will be back inforce with photos, stories and much more from the Black Hills.Whoever is going, have a safe trip and enjoy.Jose, Caribbean Bikernet agent.

BIKER GENERATION AT THE JOURNEY MUSEUM–The Journey Museum in Rapid City will be hosting a photography exhibition by Michael Lichter, titled Biker Generation. The images, from 20 years of photographing the biker lifestyle, will be on display Aug. 4 through Sept. 4. Also in the gallery and in the museum atrium from Aug. 4-10 will be 13 of the finest custom motorcycles by some of the most famous bike builders in the world. The builders include Mitch Bergeron, Jesse James, Billy Lane, Arlen Ness, Cory Ness, Ron Simms, Donnie Smith, Russ Tom, Eddie Trotta and Paul Yaffe.

Biker Generation, which was timed to coincide with the 61st annual Bike Week in Sturgis, is the Journey Museum’s first show with a motorcycle theme.

The Journey Museum is open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily, and until 6 p.m. from Aug. 4-11. The museum is located at 222 New York St., two blocks east of the Rushmore Plaza Holiday Inn and the Civic Center, where Harley-Davidson is headquartered.

SE FU IN KOREA–There was a time when I trained in close quarters combat with sensie Mark Lonsdale, the most dangerous man in the states. I always interrogated him as to his master was. He would just shout at me, “Wipe on, wipe off, goddamnit!”

For years I dug through his desk and files when he wasn’t around looking for the key individual to his success. I finally met him through a woman in San Pedro who introduced me her brother. Brad Olsen, a constant fighter and trainer, told me that he had been training with the man who came to the states with Bruce Lee an Dick Bondano, a man who is never in his dojo but generally in foriegn countries training secret police and death squads. I had found the most dangerous man on the earth, and here’s his photo.

This was taken after completing a training excercise with the elite Rebel Renegade Squad from Poland. As a token of their appreciation, they awarded him Poland’s only custom chopper.

Dick is now my mentor, Se Fu and Emperial Master.

Bandit,Likewise, I would love to putt to Sturgis, but I don’t have my Road King.Live to ride.

Aloha, Dick Bondano

P.S.There was this couple who were married for 20 years, and every time theymade love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights.Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid.She figured she would break him of the crazy habit.

So one night while they were in the middle of a romanticsession, she turned on the lights.She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery operatedpleasure device.She gets completely upset.

“You impotent bastard,” she screamed at him,”how could you be lying to me all of these years?You better explain yourself!”

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly,”I’ll explain the toy if you explain the kids.”

Oh, Emperial Master, I’m working on your fuckin’ Road King, alright.–Your humble student, Bandit

ANOTHER BEACH RIDE UPDATE–Thank you all! Your determination, passion, hard work and big hearts assured that Beach Ride 10 was the most successful ever! ECF is truly blessed to have such awesome support. I too am blessed to work with all of you, and for your friendship and support. We’re planning a little get-together here soon as well as a follow-up critique meeting. I was thinking of renaming ourselves right after the event —

EXHAUSTED MC
Kia Andersson – L.A Chapter Secretary

RAY PRICE RACING HITS THE ROAD–Ray Price Racing is preparing for its longest road trip ofthe race season. ?The Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley drag race team leavesRaleigh on July 25 to compete this weekend in Stanton, Mich., at for theIHRA’s 20th Annual CarQuest Auto Parts Northern Nationals. ?Price is verycomfortable at the Mid Michigan Motorplex after winning that event in 1999. ?According to Price, “We are familiar with the track and the team iscomfortable at the facility.”

Price and team members Nick Richendollar and Rex Harris will then travel toSturgis, S.D., to compete at the star-studded 1/8 mile, one of the crown jewelsin Harley-Davidson drag racing.

After a week at South Dakota, the team will again turn east and will wrap upthis trip at Bristol, Tenn., for the ADHRA event, Aug. 11-12.

Preparing for the trip, Price went to Rockingham last weekend for a testsession and was very pleased. ?”We ran a 6.60 ET at 209 mph ?right out of thetrailer. ?For our second pass, we tried a different combination that didn’t’work as well, but we learned what we’d gone for and are now ready to hit theroad. This is one of the most exciting months of the session for us. ?When weget back from Bristol we only have seven days to prepare for the 24th AnnualMopar Parts World Finals in Norwalk, Ohio. Bill Bader, IHRA’s fearless leader,has pulled out all the stops for this event. ?The media coverage, theenthusiasm of the fans make this a thrilling event for us to participate in.”

Hey Big KHere’s Warren Lane’s-Billys bro- rough and tumble chop we are using in a future issue. Whadda ya think?Hey, did Teresi beg you to come back yet?Later,Geno

CHOPPERSCYCLE.COM IN STURGIS– We invite you to visit our oil change center located at 3rd and Lazelle in Sturgis. We will be showcasing our EZshop catalog and computers will be set up for rally goers to shop online for all their aftermarket Harley-Davidson parts, accessories and clothing.

We will also offer Sturgis T-shirts and sterling silver jewelry.? We hope to see you there!? We would love to meet our associates in person!

–Treena Davis

SMITH TAKES 11TH TWICE IN DOUBLEHEADER AT MID-OHIO– Harley-Davidson VR 1000 Racer Mike Smithfinished 11th both Saturday and Sunday, while teammate Pascal Picotte took12th Saturday but pulled out of Sunday’s race after experiencing clutchproblems during an AMA Superbike Series doubleheader weekend at the Mid-OhioSports Car Course.

“We’ve tried some things that haven’t worked as well as we would have likedthis year, but we’re getting closer and I’m excited about what I see comingin development,” said Smith. “The entire team is working harder and diggingdeeper to reach the competitive level we all expect.”According to Harley-Davidson Director of Racing John Baker, the developmentprogram is aggressively engineering a variety of VR 1000 enhancements. Theteam tested new chassis components during practice Thursday and Friday atMid-Ohio.

“We’re still looking for step improvements on the chassis and in power, andwe haven’t reached the stage in development where the results can be seen onthe track,” said Baker. “However, the system from which those improvementswill come is in place and running strong. We’re looking forward to theremainder of the season.”

A LESSON IN FARTS-=- This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he woke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn’t stop and that it was perfectly normal. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one

Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes. After years of torture she reckoned she had got her revenge.

About 20 minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip and asked what was wrong.

He said, “Honey, you were right. All those years you warned me and I didn’t listen to you.”

“What do you mean?” asked his wife.

“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vasoline and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.”

–Darcy

New Bikernet stickers. Someday we’ll get ’em right–Bandit.

NEWS FROM GUNNY AND THE NCOM GANG–

HARRISBURG, PENN: Over in York, Penn., (where H-D has a factory), andalso in Akron, Ohio, there is a new twist on stealing motorcycles. It workslike this: A guy reads the ad in the paper that you want to sell your scoot.?He gives you a shout on the phone and says he’s a doctor at such-and-suchhospital. He then sets an appointment with you to meet him at the hospitalwith the scoot so he can look at it. You show up and he, all dressed inscrubs, shows you money but asks for a test ride just as a formality. Youbeing a nice guy, and doctors being so trustworthy, you hand him your keysand he disappears down the street, never to be seen again.

This seems to be a local problem in that area, but seller beware, there aresome real smoothies out there. This seems to be aimed mostly at Harleys, butit could happen to other makes and other localities too. Just use somestreet smarts, and be careful who you let ride your ride, unless you have thebucks in your hand.

GUNNY AGAIN: Another group of dedicated people who continue to fight for usin the courts are the Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) attorneys whoare here for us when we fall off our scooters or bend our fenders.They ride just like we do and know what the world is for us when we areinvolved in an accident. Our Oregon guy, Sam Hochberg, started riding in1971.?Whatever legal question you have, call the A.I.M. attorney in your areaand he will try and help you out. Your initial legal consultation is free,too.?They have some legal eagles now who also handle criminal defense, too –it’s Aid to INCARCERATED Motorcyclists.?Same phone numbers –1-800-ON-A-BIKE.?Me, I try and stay out of the hoosegow, but you never knowwhen you might need a good lawyer.

FEDERAL WAY, WASHINGTON: On Oct. 13, there will bea regional National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) conference in theSeattle area, also sponsored by the efforts of this A.I.M. attorney network.?This FREE Freedom Fighters Forum is hosted by ABATE of Washington and theConfederation of Clubs of Washington and will start at 10 a.m. at the FederalWay Holiday Inn. For directions or room reservations, call the Holiday Innat (800) 583-2272 and tell ’em NCOM sent ya for a discounted room rate of $79single/double. Expect the Western U.S. states to be well-represented by theMotorcycle Rights Organizations and all the Confederations of Clubs in thosestates.?Hope to see ya there!

YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CALIFORNIA IF–The guy in line at Starbucks, wearing the baseball cap, sunglasses, andlooks like George Clooney, IS George Clooney.

Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay,and you Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

It’s sprinkling out, and there’s a report onevery news channel about “THE STORM!”

GIMME THE KEY TO THE GARAGE–It’s time to move and groove toward the Badlands. This year’s run to South Dakota has but one theme: time and money. How does a man in the 21st century find time to wipe his ass let alone ride to Sturgis?

I’ll be gone for a couple of days, raising hell with my brothers from here to hell and back. Try to hold the place together, will ya? I’ll be back. –Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–DUAL EVENTS, DUAL COASTS, BOTH DRAMATIC SUCCESSES

Mike Pullin, founder of Run for Breath, and Meanest woman alive at their event in Charlotte.

I’m not sure what to say about the last couple of weeks. If I had been on drugs, I would have died or killed the drugs. It’s been a whirlwind, but all good. I’m about 48 hours from pulling out for the Badlands, and I don’t know which way is up.

I’ll get more into last weekend’s Run for Breath in Charlotte in my report, if I get it scratched out before I fire up the Buell and head for the edge of town. In Los Angeles, that’s the toughest part of the ride to anywhere. Cutting a dusty trail east, the edge of this swarming metropolis is just west of Palm Springs.

Real quick, those two people pictured above worked their butts off on the 3rd annual Run for Breath, a charity ride for the American Lung Association. Mike, of Charlotte H-D, lost his 16-year-old son to asthma three years ago and he’s acutely aware of the harmful effects of lung disease. I was touched by his dedication and hope to reflect it in my article. I was also impressed by the respect the biking community in Charlotte has for this man, including the staff of the dealership.

Sandy worked so fucking hard on the event for Justin Pullin, you would have thought he was her son.

As you dip into the news, you’ll come across a report on the L.A. Calendar Show, which was gang busters. We had a booth there and sponsored the packed party in the Observation Bar on Saturday night. We couldn’t have put it together without the dedication of Nyla Ross and the Bikernet girls and our morale officer, Dr. Ladd Terry.

Let’s hit the news, I’m burnin’ daylight:

CRONIN BIKES BEING BUILT–THESE ARE DIGITAL PHOTOS OF THE PARTIALLY COMPLETED BIKES.AS DISCUSSED, THE BLACK RIGID FRAMED ONE IS TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED ON THIS FRIDAYTHE 27TH AT 12:30 P.M.THE BLACK SOFTAIL WITH PINK FLAMES IS TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED ON TUESDAY THE31ST OF JULY AT 10:30 A.M..WE WILL BE UNLOADED AND READY TO GO IN THE SIDE DOOR (HOPEFULLY IT WILL NOTBE RAINING) BY 12:30 P.M.

MY GOAL FOR THIS IS TO SIMPLY SHOW THE BEAUTY AND DETAIL OF THIS BIKE.IT TOOK JUST UNDER 3 YEARS TO COMPLETE.NEARLY EVERYTHING ON IT WAS CUSTOM FABRICATED BY THE BUILDER (JIM GUY OF JBCUSTOMS) AND AN EXTRAORDINARY AMOUNT OF ENGINEERING AND DESIGN WAS USED INTHE PLANNING STAGE.

THE CONSTRUCTION IS WORLD CLASS AND SIMILAR BIKES DO NOT EXIST ANYWHERE.

–CRONIN
bcronin@idoa.state.in.us

CORAL RETURNS–Hi ya’ tall, tan and handsome!How’re things? I have been very well, thank you. Can hardly keep up withall the lovelies in my life. I still see Precious, I met a new girlfriend named Heather, Sin is as tasty as ever and I had a wild trystwith a hot little number while in a hotel the other night. Yummy! I wasdriving by your house this morning to see if you wanted a taste of me butjust as I pulled up, another girl got there seconds before me. I think itwas Layla. Shouldn’t she have been at work? Anyway, I waited for a longtime for her to leave. What were you two doing for sooooo long Bandito?!?!She walked out with such a glow I figured you’d be no good for me, so Iwent to Sin’s and she was delicious.

As I was saying, the other night while in a hotel, I met this stackedlittle cutie. We were drinking and dancing and when the bar closed, wewent back to my room. I went into the bathroom to change and wash up andwhile I was standing in front of the mirror naked, these hands came frombehind me and cupped my tits. I felt her press her naked body againstmine. I turned her around and sat her on the sink. I started at her kneewith my tongue and slowly slid it up her thigh, moving in as I got closerto her….. well, you know. I breathed heavy, hot breath on her…….well,you know. She was very excited. I used every inch of that room to…..well, you know.

You’re gonna have to come hang out with me one night Bandit, as if you’renot getting enough action of your own!

–Coral

PRODUCT OF THE WEEK–We receive constant requests for information about products, so we kicked off the product of the week with the Pimp Daddy bike-in-a-box kit from Chrome Specialties. You can find more info on the CSI site through the homepage of Bikernet.com. This is for you Miguel:

??Pimp Daddy? is the ultimate in retro cool! Patterned after abobbed 1948 Pan, we?ve put together all the essentials to help you build aclassic scoot that?ll never go out of style! White wall tires, widehandlebars, 88 cubic inch “Pan” demonium engine, 4-speed tranny, chromed springerfront-end and much more…..you?ll have a pimpin? ride with thisone….guaranteed!

Reminiscent of a stripped down ?48 Pan, we?ve assembled all the hard-to-findparts to build the ?Bobber? of your dreams! From the old-style floorboardsto the classic springerfront end, this bike?s got cool written all over it. Pimp Daddy is also available less engine andtranny as a rolling chassis kit.

?Pimp Daddy? Bike Kit includes:
* 88 cubic inch ?Pan? demonium engine and motor mounts. Complete with S&S Super?E? carb & Mallory Unilite distributor.(see page 10 for complete details).
* RevTech? 4-Speed kickstart tranny.
* Straight leg style rigid frame with Fat Bob tank mounts for chain reardrive. 2 inch stretch in down-tubes and 33 degree rake. (includes frame cups andheavy-duty bearings).
* Old style oval floorboards with weld-on tabs and brackets.
* Heavy-duty kickstand and bracket.
* FXST style shifter/brake kits with chrome rear master cylinder.
* 12V Bottom mount 6 1/2 inch headlight assembly withlowering block.
* Jammer stock length Springer with axle kit and fender.
* GMA billet dual-action front brake caliper, support bracket and mountinghardware.
* White Bros. 36-inch wide Bikini Beach Bars with 3-inch vintage risers, dual cablethrottle assembly and vintage grips.
* 21-inch chromed 40-spoke front wheel (single flange)with 90/90H X 21 inch Avon ?Venom-X? whitewall tire, rim stripand tube.
* 16-inch chromed 40-spoke rear wheel (dual flange) with 130/90HB X 16 inchAvon ?Venom-X? whitewall tire, rim strip, and rear axle kit.
* Motor Factory chromed 3 1/2 quart side-fill hex wrap-around oil tank.
* 3.5 gallon Fat Bob style gas tanks for screw-in type gas caps
* Chrome cateye dash kit complete with 1:1 ratio white-face speedo, mountingkit and ignition switch.
* 6-inch flat rear fender with chromed fender brace and 50?s styletaillight.
* Assorted hardware.

171034 ?Pimp Daddy? Bike Kit
Retail: $11,995
171030 ?Pimp Daddy? Rolling Chassis Kit
(Same as above less engine and tranny) Retail: $3,995

WEST BRANCH GEARS UP FOR HARLEY RIDERS–The quiet little town of West Branch, Mich., is about to get more than its share ofchrome, thundering engines and leather-clad out-of-towners. And mostresidents are happy to have them. Thousands of Harley-Davidson motorcycleowners will descend on West Branch, population 2,000, during the 18thannual Michigan Harley Owners Group Rendezvous rally at the Ogemaw CountyFairgrounds Friday through Sunday.”We welcome them,” said Steve Leonard, executive director of West BranchArea Chamber of Commerce. “It’s a major economic boost to our community.”Last year, about 13,000 people packed the Ogemaw County Fairgrounds for theH.O.G. event, which includes a parade and concerts.

Leonard said this year the number of tickets sold is being limited to7,500. Still, the rally will keep hotels, restaurants and stores busy allweekend.

“I’m booked right around five years in advance,” said Donna Dillon, managerof the Super 8 Motel in West Branch, about the H.O.G. weekend. When thefive hotels in West Branch fill up, bikers stay in Tawas area and HoughtonLake motels. West Branch City Manager Patrick McGinnis estimated the annualevent brings in more than $3 million to the city and community.

The biker image of a rowdy and unruly crowd hasn’t scared businesses orresidents, McGinnis said. “I think we’re very open and tolerant. Weunderstand people want to go out and enjoy themselves,” said McGinnis.”There’s very little negative feedback (from the community) generally,” hesaid.

OFFICER UNLAWFULLY CONFISCATES MOTORCYCLES–I received an e-mail from a friend about Sgt. Bob Kenney of theConnecticut Auto Theft Task Force, saying he is again facing disciplinaryaction for allegedly consficating seven motorcycles and lifts from a person inWoodbridge and not turning them in to the state police hold.

This is not the first time this has happened. Can you find out if there is more to this and what action is being takenagainst him, if any? Will you please let me know if you turn up any thing new? You can find an article I wrote about Trooper Kenny at BIKER ROGUE http://www.bikerrogue.com See PoliceSnatch A Bike Crews, which you can find through the search option.

–ROGUE

HELLS ANGELS BOUND FOR BRANSON–State and federal law officers are gearing up for what they hope will be alow-key visit to Branson next week by the Hells Angels. Up to 400 membersof the infamous motorcycle gang are expected to begin arriving as early asSunday for a week of meetings and fun. Law officers are calling it theAngels U.S.A. Run.

Hells Angels members could not be reached for comment Wednesday.

“I would think that like most of our visitors, they’re just here tovacation and relax and enjoy great entertainment,” theater spokeswoman Cindy Merry said.

She wonders who, exactly, are the Hells Angels. The name has evoked fearover the years. “Are they still active like that?”

–Rogue

Bikernet L.A. Calendar Show – Party Saturday Night–Non-stop.

LA CALENDAR BIKE SHOW HUGE SUCCESS–The 2001 edition of the Hot Bike Magazine Presents The White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show, sponsored by Performance Machine, The ReCycler/Cycle Buys newspapers, Bikernet.com and Hollywood Blond Beer, saw the continued growth of America’spremier outdoor custom and high performance streetbike event. Produced by Jim Gianatsis of the motorsports advertising design and photography agency Gianatsis Design, this year’s event at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach Harbor saw a continued 25 percent annual growth in exhibits and attendance over last year. This year’s expanded two-day format for the show was a huge success. There were one-day ticket sales of 4,800 on Saturday, 5,400 attendees on Sunday, plus 400 in two-day ticket sales, bringing the weekend’s daily totals in attendance to 11,000 hard-core streetbike fans.

The Calendar Bike Show offered bike fans two days of non- stop entertainment that included the White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout; Sunday’s Bike Show Contest for Customs, Sportbikes and Vintage Bikes: plus two great live bands -the all girl rockers Hojo and the hot salsa/rock headliner band Soto. Also included in the $15 admission price was free general admission to the historic Queen Mary ocean liner, normally a separate $15 admission charge to visitors. Plus on Saturday night, Bike Show attendees were treated to a free party with live jazz music in the Queen Mary’s Observation Room Bar hosted by Keith Ball’s Bandit’s BikerNet.com, with beautiful Bike Show announcer Brenda Fox. Together with a huge fireworks show over the Queen Mary and Long Beach Harbor at 9 p.m., it was a full weekend of great entertainment.

On to Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–EASYRIDERS FILES BANKRUPTCY–SAD DAY(CONTINUED)

Continued From Page 2

BANDIT DISCOVERS ULTIMATE STURGIS ROOM– Yes she comes with the room. We actually contacted Renee for a statement, “This is way too funny, cause the pic in Bikernet (Sunday Post in the Cantina) is when I had blackhair………..LOL!!!! My hair is blonde again. This is what I look like nowTell Bandit, I’ll be waiting.”

Rumor has it that Bandit left a week early for the Badlands.

FLAT TRACK WIN FOR H-D– Rich King helped put the magic in the MagicMile with a photo-finish victory at the AMA’s Progressive Insurance U.S.Flat Track Championships at the DuQuoin State Fairgrounds on Saturday night.”Rich had a fantastic race,” said Harley-Davidson Director of Marketing ArtGompper. “What a finish. He’s had a little bit of bad luck this year, andthis is a great place to turn the season around.”

King paced himself through the early stages of the race, but just as he hadplanned, surged to the front with about 10 laps remaining. He then led themajority of the last several laps in a constant dogfight with Ken CoolbethJr., Joe Kopp and series points leader Chris Carr. Coming out of turn fouron the last lap, King held a slim lead over Coolbeth Jr., but then the pairtore to the line seemingly neck and neck. After reviewing tape footage, AMAofficials found that King had won by mere inches.”We’d been struggling a little bit on set-up before the race, but we got itright, and it feels great to get this win,” said King, who had been nursingan injured ankle for the past few races. “I’ve lost races that close before- that’s what makes dirt track so exciting.”

HUMAN DISCOVERY–Are you aware of the discovery in the human body of a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole? It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.

If you don’t believe me, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye.

MISSING PERSONS–TIM CONDER IS FOUND–Thanks for the reply and I found his (Tim Conder’s) website linked toanother website. It is not only interesting how it is set up, but it isfunny as hell. You got to check it out. It is www.armageddontopfuel.comand you have to check out the heaven and hell seperately to find cool picsand stories.

–Thanks John

ABATE OF YUMA’S WEB SITE REPORT– The site has a bunch of pop-up advertising. I am not sure why the webmaster for this site set it up that way. I just “x” out of them and they go away. The picture in the lower left is of me at the Hog Rodeo. This page is what should have come up with the url I sent you. Thank you for your reply about putting this in the news section. Take Care.

Ride Free…..
Stich

TECH DISCOVERY– I’ve come up with a means to access the throttle thumbscrew with your right thumb. Like the Custom Chrome electric throttle lock, only my part cost’s $5.95 and doesn’t require any tools to install. The Klever Lever is a press fit piece that goes over the existing thumbscrew, extending past the throttle cables to allow easy access. There are pictures and descriptions on www.ForesthillProducts.com

NEW BIKERNET GIFT SHOP PRODUCTS–These are just a couple of product in a long line of new shit to come. We’re testing in an effort to bring you the products you want and shitcan the rest. Watch for these prints to be launched soon.

A motorcyclist for 45 years, the passion has not dimmed even to thisday. Starting out with a 1951 Cushman Eagle, and graduating to a 1947 Triumph Speed Twin, Larry, the artist, has had a succession of many Triumphs as well as other brands through the years. Collecting and restoring bikes in the 50’sand 60’s, he currently has 8 vintage machines gracing his garage. Being familiar with these machines, riding and portraying them in hispaintings, is what keeps him going today.

Larry started submitting cartoons as early as 1959 to motorcycle publications, and his first cartoon was published in the May 1959 issueof Floyd Clymer’s “Cycle” Magazine. He continued to be published in many issues from then on, including “Motorcyclist”, “Cycle World”, “Cycle News” and others.

LOS ANGELES CALENDAR BIKE SHOW THIS WEEKEND–Join us this coming weekend as we continue to grow as the biggest and best streetbike Show in America. We now have a record 120 major manufacturers, exhibitors, top custom bike builders and race teams jammed packed into the Queen Mary Park -up 25 from last year! Definitely making this the biggest outdoor streetbike Consumer Show in America.

The new 2-day expanded format will give more spectators the opportunity to visit us. To encourage people to join us on the new day, Saturday, there’s a Free Bikernet.com Party and fireworks show aboard the Queen Mary on Saturday night. Plus all day musical entertainment by the all-girl band Soho and the Las Vegas headliner band Soto with their unique blend of spicy Salsa and Rock. Both days, spectators will also get Free general admission to the Queen Mary, normally a separate $15 charge.

Additional added attractions include the latest new big bore Cruiser bikes from Yamaha and Honda, plus we’re expecting Honda to bring us their new “American Sports” concept sportbike unveiled last week at Laguna Seca. Plus the White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout both days.

And, of course, the Show is the premier of our 2002 FastDates.com Calendars with many of the beautiful calendar girls on hand to be photographed and personally autograph your calendar. Confirmed to attend are 40th Anniversary Playboy Playmate Anna Marie Goddard, SBK World Superbike trophy girls Brooke Johnson and Taylor McKegney, plus Perfect 10 cover girl and Temptation Island temptress Vanes Norms.

Because of the huge expected crowd, the Queen Mary’s main parking lot will be devoted just to spectator motorcycle parking, particularly on Sunday. Show spectators arriving by car will be directed to park at the nearby Long Beach Aquarium and Convention Center parking facilities, and then can ride the free city shuttle buses to the Event Park. So please allow a little additional time for car parking.Complete detail are online at http://www.FastDates.com

Don’t miss the Bikernet Party Saturday night on the Queen Mary from 8:30 to midnight with fireworks, live band and Bikernet door prizes. It’s open to the public, so come aboard.

See you at the LA Calendar Bike Show this weekend.We’re going to have a great time!

–Jim Gianatsis, Director

TEXAS POLICE REQUIRED TO TAKE BIKER SENSITIVITY TRAINING– Last month weregretfully reported Governor Rick Perry’s veto of an equal access bill inTexas that would have made it illegal to discriminate against motorcycleriders, in spite of an exceptional lobbying effort by the Texas MotorcycleRights Association (TMRA-II) and all four Confederations of Clubs in Texasthat won near-unanimous approval in the House and Senate.

Although Governor Perry gave no explanation in vetoing HB 259, he didmanage to sign into law another bill supported by the TMRA-II and the TexasConfederations of Clubs, HB 2585, which clarifies enforcement of the helmetlaw. It also requires sensitivity training for police officers.

”House Bill 2585 changes the way the Texas helmet law is enforced,”explained Sputnik, founder and chairman of the TMRA-II, ”so that if you arestopped for not wearing a helmet and show you are 21 or older and show proofof insurance or a Rider Ed card, the officer can not issue a citation for ahelmet law violation. This new law eliminates the need for a court todecide.”

In addition, HB 2585 requires that police officers take sensitivitytraining to stop profiling of riders and to make them aware of the newenforcement standards. They must record all traffic stops in categories toascertain whether bikers are being stopped disproportionately.

Section 4 of HB 2585 states, ”The Commission shall require educationand training on motorcycle operator profiling awareness and sensitivitytraining.”

So if you’re pulled over on your bike in the Lone Star State, don’tforget to ask the officer if he’s had his sensitivity training lately.

SPECIAL LICENSE PLATES PASSED FOR BIKER VETS IN NEW MEXICO Thanksto the staunch support and stalwart efforts of New Mexico StateRepresentative Rick Miera, veterans who ride will now have access tospecialty motorcycle license plates in New Mexico to commemorate theirservice to our country.? Miera was a motorcyclist and early member of ABATE before he launchedhis career in politics, and has been a blessing to New Mexico bikers sincetaking office. Earlier this year, Rep. Miera announced the repeal of NewMexico’s handlebar height law, through a bill he authored. He’s also anactive member of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) LegislativeTask Force, along with other legislators such as U.S. Senator Ben NighthorseCampbell, Wisconsin State Senator Dave Zien, South Dakota State Senator JimPutnam, and others.???

In addition to the Vets plates, Miera also sponsored a separate billthat was signed into law to make specialty motorcycle license platesavailable to disabled riders.

Oh, and he’s committed to keeping New Mexico helmet-free too!

–NCOM NEWS & NOTES

Harley-Davidson’s new Buell rocket ship. See report on Bikernet home page.

?HARLEY-DAVIDSON MAKES A NAME FOR ITSELF– ?In a survey to determine themost recognizable brand names in America, Harley-Davidson rose from 10thplace to 5th place in this year?s polling. ????

CORPORATE BRANDING, a brand strategy and communications firm in NewYork, conducted 6,000 interviews during the annual survey to determine howfamiliar and favorable a company is viewed by senior business leaders. ?

???For the first time in three years, soft drink giant Coca-Cola lost itsfizz and fell into second place behind Microsoft Corp. ??

??Sure, but how many people have a computer tattooed on their body??

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR– A motorcycle enthusiast dropped dead ashe was being handed the keys to a Harley-Davidson he won in a raffle.?

The GERMAN BIKERS’ UNION said 47-year-old Hans Hitzig, suffered a heartattack in front of thousands of fellow bikers at the organization’s Jubileein Schleiz, eastern Germany. Hitzig?s winning ticket was drawn from 12,000entries to win the $7,400.00 motorcycle.

–From Bill Bish, aimncom@aimncom.com.

MORE NEWS FROM BADLANDS–Other news… they’ve gotten most of the south side of Interstate 90 done already. Most of you will probably remember the mess we had with only 1 side of the interstate open for 2-way traffic last year… maybe this year it’ll all be done before you get here! www.Sturgis-Rally.com

FILM UPDATE, CRITIQUE AND RECOMMENDATIONS–Bustin’ it on the keyboard. No movement on 1%er, though a giant German company seems to be initially interested. Got an old producer here named Robert Watts, did Star Wars 1,2,3, Indiana Jones 1,2, 3, Roger Rabbit, etc., who’s in love with it and trying to raise $30 mill to get it made. Lots of big names, no green yet. I’m working on getting heavy talent attatched.

Mainly focusing on the rewrites for Free Range for the production in London. It’s a paying option, rewrites and purchase price. That one is virtually a guaranteed greenlight purchase/production at this point and they seem to love everything I write for them.

Producing a feature comedy in Ecuador which I wrote and am Exec Producing. It’s coming along very well. Working with ICM to package talent, got an old time producer working on it with me. Got an offer to write another one for the London company, Random Harvest, paying gig. In Hollywood love is green.

Moulin Rouge is killer.
O Brother Where Art Thou? is absolutely incredible.
A.I. is all over the board, a Kubrick film made a mess by Spielberg’s issue-neutral yuppies.
Fast and the Furious is a joke.
Memento is outstanding.

–Agent Zebra

I’M GONE–Like a cool breeze. July 27th there’s a quirky auction of some of Jim Fueling’s collection of motorcycles and unusual vehicle in Ventura, California, check midamerica-auctions.com. I would love to be there, but I’ll be on my way to the Badlands.

Also, especially for Cantina members we’ve developed a strange and unusual department where we slip little known oddities about biking. There’s a painter featured there who will paint your oil filter to match your bike. Strange shit. The artist who created the above stainless steel sculptures is also featured in the Digital Discovery area in Bandit’s Cantina.

With that, Sin Wu is moody because of my leaving for the Badlands and my strange arrangements with various women from state to stay. Hell, I have to stay someplace, don’t I. Besides Dr. Hamster’s girlfriend is accompanying the good doctor, so I’ll be monitored the entire trip. Someone just told me that after 500 miles all bets are off. Is that really a rule? Let’s ride, we’re burnin’ daylight.–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–EASYRIDERS FILES BANKRUPTCY–SAD DAY (CONTINUED)

Continued From Page 1

EASYRIDERS INC. ANNOUNCES CHAPTER 11 FILING–Easyriders Inc. today announced that the public holding company, Easyriders Inc., and its principal operating subsidiary, Paisano Publications Inc. (collectively “Easyriders”) have filed voluntary petitions for relief under Chapter 11 of the United States Bankruptcy Code in the United States Bankruptcy Court for the Central District of California, San Fernando Valley Division.

The bankruptcy court filings were prompted by various repayment demands and other disputes that Easyriders was having with its primary secured lender, Nomura Holding America Inc. (“Nomura”).

Notwithstanding these disputes, the parties entered into a cash collateral stipulation prior to Easyriders’ bankruptcy filings, which will enable Easyriders to continue to operate in the ordinary course of business and pay all necessary operating expenses. Easyriders intends to seek emergency Bankruptcy Court approval of its cash collateral stipulation with Nomura.

Easyriders plans to emerge from their Chapter 11 cases with a comprehensive restructuring of all of their debt. With Nomura’s consent, Easyriders has engaged the Westlake Village-based investment banking firm of Murphy Noel Capital to provide financial advisory services to them and to assist them in connection with their debt restructuring.

Read recently the following in the business section of the L.A. Times about Clive Davis formerly of Arista Records–“People forget what this business is about. Raw talent. Great songs. Hip artists. All anybody seems to care about now is numbers. The fact is you can’t make numbers without creativity.”

I wish Easyriders continued luck and success for the staff and the shareholders who believed in the brand.–Bandit

Teamwork.

STURGIS ALERT–On some of the bulletin boards there is talk of groups of more than 4patch holders being pulled over in SD…some bullshit new law…FYI..later-

–TRAIN

STURGIS BIKE RALLY NEWS– Wanted to know if you might be able to help me regarding the Sturgis Rally held in August. I want to rent out my cabin. It’s an historic log cabin on 4 acres outside of Deadwood in the Black Hills. It is about 20-25 minutes from Sturgis along Hwy. 385.

I have finally gotten the place fixed up and am rather late getting it rented out during the rally. It sleeps 4-8 comfortably, has a fully stocked kitchen, TV, stereo and is in a beautiful meadow that joins 104 acres of parkland. Deer and a small trout stream out front make this an idea location for privacy and relaxation.

Do you know of anyone who might be interested in renting it for the August 4-14th rally? There may also be 1-2 camper trailers available for rent on the property for larger groups.

— Thanks for your help.
Nanci Vold
Phone- 650.528.4258
nvold@goldstate.net

WANTED, ’57 STRAIGHT LEG RIGID–I’m looking for a ’57 straight leg rigid to put my ’67 shovel 84″ motor in.

Want to rake the neck 3/4″ don’t know how many degrees that would be..to run a old style 12″ over Harley springer. I’d like to find one of the original early 70’s Performance Machine 15″ rear wheels for this build. I haven’t been in the South Bay in awhile, is Walker’s Engine and frame works still out there in Torrance ? Any help would be appreciated.

–“TEA Ball, Michael”

Bandit and Miss Beach Ride 2001.

VENTURA, CALIFORNIA BEACH RIDE A SUCCESS–Well, we went and did it again. Beach Ride 10. It seemed like the year would never end and that July 15 would never get here. Yet now it seems to swept by in a blur. I don’t know any of the results yet and all of us will be getting an official report at the rap up meeting. Time and date will be announced as soon as possible. It certainly seemed to me that our attendance was up. I am expecting this to have been our best event.

Congratulations on your hard work for the Exceptional Children’s Foundation. Your efforts were extraordinary and your dedication throughout this past year showed.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

Steve Romero
Committee Chairman

BEACH RIDE CONTINUED–

Thank you all! Your determination, passion, hard work and big hearts assuredthat Beach Ride 10 was the most successful ever! ECF is truly blessed to havesuch awesome support. I too am blessed to work with all of you, and for yourfriendship and support. We’re planning a little get-together here soon aswell as a follow-up critique meeting.I was thinking of renaming ourselves right after the event –EXHAUSTED MC ?

Kia Andersson – L.A Chapter Secretary

ARTHRITIS–ArthritisAn old geezer in an old people’s home takes a fancy to a woman who is also staying there. One day he plucks up the courage to go and talk to her and after a while he says he would like to make love to her. She agrees thatwhen everybody else goes on a day trip they both stay behind at the homeandget down to it.

The old man goes to the woman’s room and asks her how she likes to be madelove to. She tells him that she loves a man to go down on her and asks himif he would mind. He says he would love to do that for her and goes for it.

After about 30 secs he comes back up and says that he is sorry but it justsmells too bad down there. She thinks for a minute and tells him that itmust be the arthritis. He looks at her confused and states that surely youcan’t get arthritis down there and even if you could it wouldn’t cause thatsmell.

She says “No it’s the arthritis in my shoulder, I can’t wipe my ass!”

KILLER ENGINES–AS MENTIONED BEFORE WE ARE GOING TO HAVE THESE (2) 139 CUBIC INCHERS OUT ATSTURGIS.WE ARE ARRIVING LATE ON SATURDAY THE 4TH AND LEAVING ON FRIDAY THE 1OTH. WE ARE ATTEMPTING TO GET A ROOM IN THE SPEARFISH AREA BUT HAVE NOT BEENSUCCESSFUL YET.IF WE CAN’T, WE WILL PROBABLY JUST FIND A ROOM IN SUNDANCE ONCE WE ARRIVE.

POSSIBLY WE CAN MEET ONE MORNING FOR BREAKFAST AND YOU CAN CHECK THESE OUT.IF INTERESTED LET ME KNOW.

–CRONIN

Let’s try to hook up.–Bandit

SPEED WEEK PHOTO EXHIBIT–Just in time for Speedweek this year will be my new Bonneville “photo show” CD-Rom for computers.

A collection of more than 100 images taken from my book, Bonneville Salt Flats, as well as shots from my private collection, the CD allows full-screen viewing of images in a slide show format.

Not just a “screen saver”, this product gives you a dynamic, revolving photo show of roadsters, lakesters, streamliners, motorcycles, trucks, cars from 1914 through present day.

Take a peek at the cover by logging onto: http://www.scenesaver.com/bonneville/

Catch me during?the book signings in the lobby of?the State Line Hotel and Casino Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. You may also find me Monday night during the FREE SAE presentation of “How to build the World’s Fastest Car”?with ThrustSSC engineer Glynne Bowsher at the State Line’s Bonneville Room banquet facility. Or catch up with me on the salt — look for the?pewter-colored Hummer!

Speedy Regards,
“LandSpeed” Louise Ann Noeth

THE VARIED AND BIZARRE–An esoteric collection of some of the shit that I receive via e-maileveryday! Like I don’t have enough stuff to read!!!!!! BTW – I’ve beenspending a shit load of time out in SoCal, but mostly in Ventura andB’Field, not much time down south. My oldest son graduates USN BasicTraining at Great Lakes on August 3rd and my youngest graduates USMC Basicon August 31st in San Diego. A fuckin squid and jarhead home atChristmas!!!!!!! What’s a father to do?

More info, the Brothers Fast M/C in Denver re-patched to HA a couple ofmonths ago. Presently going through their probationary period. It has thevarious law enforcement communities all up in arms, plus I understand thatthe Bandidos and the Sons of Silence are pretty much staying out of it. Itwas good to see the Red and White represented at the All Harley Drags inJune.

The web-site is kicking ass and you’ve had some good articles on it lately.You ought to do a feature on Liberator Motorcycles, they are based here inDenver and they do offer some cool scoots.

Ride Hard………..
Gunracer <>

THE BLONDE One day a blonde decides that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies, “Yes, just really hot and tired”.

He asks, “Well, what are you doing?” She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asked her, “Why the hell do you have a ski jacket on over a fur coat?” She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said….

FOR BEST RESULTS PUT ON TWO COATS !!!!!

HARLEY-DAVIDSON EXPANSION– Harley-Davidson Inc. plans to add 275 new positions at it’s YorkCounty plant as part of a $145 million expansion of the facility. The new workers will join the 3,000 workers already at the plant. The Milwaukee-based company has been producing motorcycles in York since1973.

The new plans call for a 350,000-addition to the current 1.2million-square-foot facility. The plant manufactures several Harley-Davidson motorcycle models,as well ascurrent and non-current replacement parts. The state will provide the company a 9.4 million financial package ofgrants and tax credits to support the planned expansion.

BANDIT’S CANTINA DOOR PRIZES–If you join the Cantina one of the benefits is a regular door prize drawing with a twist. We ask what the contestants want to win. If we happed to have their dream gift it’s theirs. Of course if they ask for a big-titted redhead, they don’t get shit. I get all the redheads. Just for your entertainment here’s a couple of the unlucky requests:

“An evening of romance with Lawless Lorraine, but I’ll take a leather vest.”
Jesse Russell
Apex, NC

“I would like to win and it better be fucking good.”
Keith Wahl
Saline, MI

1. The complete collection of Keith Ball’s books autographed.
2. Harley in a basket.
3. A Bikernt T-shirt & patch.
4. A divorce from that dirty rotten bastard.
Miss BB Free
Huntington Beach, CA

“A Harley tank top to show off my tits!”
Kim Dunn
Pleasant Hill, CA

We’re working on this prize–

“A Bandit Bed Roll or a T-shirt you cheap bastards!”
Scott Armstrong
Kenwood, CA

“Give me a free book. PLEASE!!!!! The new one, Mr. Orwell. I bet it is a kick-ass book. The other ones were awesome! Fuck the world…….C-YA in HELL!
Keith Murray
Mechanicville, New Fuckin’ York

PUB GUY– A guy walked into a pub and immediately noticed a young lady at the bar on her own. After a couple of drinks he decided to offer her a drink and make small talk. She accepted.

“What’s your name?” he asked her.

“Carmen,” she replied.

“That’s a nice name. Did your mother or father name you that?”

“Neither. I changed my name when I was eighteen from Linda to Carmen.”

“Why did you do that?” he asked.

“Well,” she explained, “I like men and I like cars, so that is how I got my name. What’s your name?”

“Beerpussy,” the man replied.

Here is a photo actually taken at the US/Mexico border. They caught this guy trying to be smuggled into the U.S.

Continued On Page 3