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GUN REFRESHER COURSE–
A. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
B. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
C. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
D. Gun control is not about guns; it’s about control.
E. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
F. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
G. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
H. If you don’t know your rights, you don’t have any.
I. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
J. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights Reserved.
K. What part of “shall not be infringed” do you not understand?
L. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the others.
M. 64,999,987 firearm owners killed no one yesterday.
N. Guns only have two enemies: rust and politicians.
O. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace nor safety.
P. You don’t shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
Q. 911 – government sponsored Dial a Prayer.
R. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
S. Criminals love gun control — it makes their jobs safer.
T. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
U. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to controlthem.
V. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
W. Enforce the “gun control laws” in place, don’t make more. (I can’t go along with this one. All federal and most state “gun control laws” are illegal)–Dale
X. When you remove the people’s right to bear arms, you create slaves.
Y. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.
Z. “…a [system) governed by the people, for the people…”

–Gunracer

NEW STROKER KIT FROM HARLEY-DAVIDSON–Here’s a secret shot of the new stroker kit from Harley, taken at Charlotte Harley-Davidson by Bikernet spy Paul Davis. These massive mutha’s are now available for all Twin Cam models. Stock bikes will never be the same.

IN MEMORIAM– in memoriam Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog forcompany. When the dog died, Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be sayin’ a mass for the poor creature?”

Father Patrick replied, “I’m afraid not; we can’t be havin’ services forananimal in the church. But there is a new denomination down the lane, andthere’s no tellin’ what they believe.Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.”

Muldoon said, “I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think $5,000 is enoughtodonate for the service?”

Father Patrick exclaimed, “Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya’ tellme the dog was Catholic?

CHICA FEATURED ON BIKERNET–The exclusive customizer for Chrome Specialties was recently featured on the site by JoAnn Bortels of CrazyHorse painting. As you can see by the above image, Chica has his own old-world flair to building bikes. Check out his creativity in the garage or in the Chrome Specialties Department. Currently, CSI is the only distributor with its entire catalog on line.

SIGNS YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE HIGH-TECH WORLD– You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

Every commercial on television has a Web site address at the bottom ofthe screen.

You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells forhalf the price you paid.

The concept of using real money instead of credit or debit to make apurchase is foreign to you.

BALANCING THE SCALES OF JUSTICE–Sentencing Reform and America’s Drug Laws. You have to realize that a change in the national Policy could cause a serious backlash if not handled correctly. Almost $100 billion is spent every year (locally and federally) to fight the drug war. Legislation would cause a recession, if drug law sentencing reform were to ever be accomplished. All the concerns from the opponents and proponents of the issue would have to be addressed to make it work.

I will get into the reasons why first, then I will list my idea of a solution.

It seems that corporations through lobbyists push most legislation. With 22,000 lobbyists in Washington alone, how could this not be true? In California and other states, the biggest lobbyists are prison guard unions and police and prosecutor organizations. The prison industrial complex is massive. Its lobbyists wield a lot of power. Many of our congressmen depend on the large contributions these organizations give toward their re-election campaign. It’s the accepted way things are done at state and federal levels.

Since 1996, when the mandatory minimum sentences for drug law violators were instituted, federal prison budgets have shot up from $227 million annually to $4.7 BILLION annually. As of the year 2000, the cost continues to climb. At least 60 prisons are in the planning stages as we speak. Over 2 million people are in jails and prisons in the United States. Sixty percent are non-violent drug law violators.I am aware of the fact that any politician who speaks out against the drug war is committing political suicide, but– THERE IS A SOLUTION.

It is possible to institute fairness in sentencing (sentencing reform) and at the same time protect the economy. By protecting the jobs of the people who work for the various agencies that could be affected by sentencing reform, this would cancel out any economic backlash that could result in sentencing reform.

1.) By going back to the sentencing practices used before mandatory minimum sentencing, the amount of time served by an inmate for a non-violent drug offense would be reduced in most cases. There are benefits to this for not only the inmates and their families, but also for the government. Inmates would return to society and be reunited with their families sooner, becoming productive citizens and saving the government billions of dollars annually. There would be a faster turnover to help reduce the issues of overcrowding.

2.) All existing prisons and their employees would be guaranteed to keep their jobs. Most prisons and jails are bursting at the seams; overcrowding is the reason we have to continue to build new prisons every year. By changing mandatory minimum sentencing and releasing non-violent drug law violators earlier, the prisons could thin out their numbers they were designed to house in the first place. Stress levels would drop and the environment would be safer for both staff and inmates. Most prison administrators would agree to such a plan if it guaranteed job security, and lifted issues of overcrowding and safety for everyone concerned.

3.) A policy change such as this could balance the scales of justice.

–Rusty

DRAG RACING COMES TO BIKERNET, FAST–We’ve supported drag racing for over a year now and decided with the help of three of our main contributors to amp up our involvement. With the guidance of Mary and Charlie Lou Brewton, and the photographic talents of Helen Wolfe, we have launched a new department on Bikernet devoted to drag racing. In addition, our resident advertising designer John Siebenthaler has become a competent contributor. We’re looking for two sponsors for that department.

Check it out. It’s already burnin’ rubber all over the site.

HEY SIN! —I’M 38, STARTED WORKING ON JAP STUFF WHEN I WAS 20. WORKING FOR A GUYON THE SIDE (evenings, weekends) BUILDING BIG BORE ENG. & DRAG BIKES. GAVE UPJAP CRAP AROUND ’91. STARTED FOOLIN WITH H-D’S BUT STILL ON THE SIDE. SINCEOCT. ’96, I’VE BEEN SELF-EMPLOYED. JUST WORKING OUT OF GARAGE DO’IN REPAIRS,PERFORMANCE SHIT. THE LAST TWO YEARS I’VE MOSTLY DONE CUSTOM BIKES GROUND – UP AND BIG INCH MOTORS, PERF. STUFF.

HAVE ALL HAND TOOLS, AND A GOOD VARIETY OFSPECIALITY TOOLS, INCLUDING EQUIP. TO BALANCE AND TRUE FLYWHEELS, NEWAY CUTTERSTO DO VALVE JOBS, TRANS TOOLS, PRESS ANd AIR LIFT .

HAVE BUILT NUMBEROUSENGINES AND BIKES FROM STOCK TO 120CI NITRO INJECTED PRO-FUEL DRAG BIKES.STILL LOVE THE DRAG RACE SHIT, JUST CANT AFFORD IT!

WOULD LIKE TO RELOCATE INWARMER WINTER WEATHER, PREFERABLY TUCSON, PHOENIX or DAYTONA, BUT WILLCONSIDER ALMOST ANYTHING SOUTHWEST.

–HOT ROD

For a second I had the nasty inkling that he was hitting on Sin Wu. There’s that jealousy thing again.–Bandit

ZIPPERS IGNITIONS–Despite your reader’s opinions regarding the Zippers Ignition package, it is morethan just an adaptation. Of course, that does depend on your interpretationof adaptation. In so far as Dyna and Crane have “adapted” their designs tofit the twin cam platform, I suppose you could also apply that moniker to theZippers unit. You’ll find the trigger mechanism and the 95 and 107 inch mapsto be proprietary. That would suggest, quite accurately, that you can buythem only from us.

Thank you for replying… and in complete agreement that despite my “opinion”of your ignition package and what one’s true interpretation of an “adaptation”could be, I think I should define my intention of my initial inquiry.

First and foremost, the dyna does not adapt a V-thunder ignition. Itsimply plugs into the stock wiring harness and also has different advancecurves for W.O.T. (wide open throttle) and deceleration. Which merelysummarizes my “interpretation” of the TC88 Ignition system you hold soproprietarily dear, as nothing but a marketed product, and that the sameresults can be achieved by those who know enough, and can easily install anyother readily available ignition. Not to mention, the trigger mechanism thatis not hard to figure out for the aforementioned knowledgeable techs.

In defense of you guys, your warranty is admirable in the fact that thisproduct I have seen is not necessarily broken or inoperable. My problem isthat no highly skilled tech would endorse or advise the spending of such anover-priced, infomercial type “adaptation” and my problem is that you guys layunnecessary sales rap on the unknowing. No offense intended, but this couldbe a definite set up for customer dissatisfaction. You see, not only did Inot actually believe the hype, I didn’t and will never purchase this type ofproduct. I appreciate your polite/customer friendly response, yet it was justanother (of many) well-worded answers to questions that don’t hold enoughwater from a REAL performance aspect. As much as I want to say “Shame on YouZippers,” I am hoping that the recent reputation damaging heresay isuntrue… Well, I, for one, hope you guys are not “technically challenged” asbelieved by many on the East Coast. Yet, I would find it interesting to gohead to head with any technical info you guys are proclaiming new andinnovative and any reply to the contrary concerning my statements in thisletter will surely be read and replied to in a timely fashion. You never knowwhat you can learn from people, be it fictitious or factual. At one time,Zippers didn’t pass off calls from department to department…. All I want to hear atthis point is the facts, baby!! JUST THE FACTS. If you want to baffle me withbullshit, I will call it a day… If you can bedazzle me with brilliance,lets see if you still got it!!!!

Thanks.. and respectfully
Tom

Vancouver BC CANADA HOG Chapter Schedule ofevents for 2001–NOTE:VANCOUVER HOG CHAPTER MEETINGS WILL BE HELD IN JANUARY, FEBRUARY, MARCH,SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER,NOVEMBER, & DECEMBER THE MEETING WILL BE ON THE FIRST TUESDAY EVENING AT7PM UNLESS IT FALLS ON ALONG WEEKEND. THEN THE MEETING WILL BE THE NEXT TUESDAY EVENING THAT ISNOT A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. THEMONTHS OF APRIL, MAY, JUNE, & JULY THE MEETING WILL BE HELD ON THE FIRSTSATURDAY OF THE MONTH WITHA MYSTERY RIDE AFTER THE MEETING. UNLESS IT FALLS ON A LONG WEEKEND.THEN THE MEETING WILL BE THE NEXTSATURDAY THAT IS NOT A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. THERE WILL NOT BE A VANCOUVERCHAPTER BUSINESS MEETING INAUGUST OF THIS YEAR.

June 2nd HOG Meeting 4608 Imperial in Burnaby Call (604) 434-1502

June 2nd & 3rd CMDRA Edmonton WWW.CMDRA.COM OR CALL (604 ) 882 1009

June 4th We will join the XL Riders for their Tuesday Evening RideLeaves TrevDeeley Motorcycles @ 7PM Call Trev Deeley Motorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 7th Road Captains Evening Ride. Leaves Trev Deeley Motorcycles @7PMCall Trev Deeley Motorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 9th RJ’s Ride to Harrison Hot Springs for lunch Call (604)329-6348

June 12th Road Captains Evening Ride. Leaves Trev Deeley Motorcycles @7PM Call TrevDeeley Motorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 16th Darryl’s Mystery Ride. Leaves Trev Deeley Motorcycles CallTrev DeeleyMotorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 17th Fathers Day Ride along with Delta, Call Warren (604) 524 8963& Call your Dad

June 19th Road Captains Evening Ride. Leaves Trev Deeley Motorcycles @7PM Call TrevDeeley Motorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 23rd Trev Deeley’s Show N Shine Call Trev Deeley Motorcycles (604)291 BIKE RainDate July 7th

June 23 -24th CMDRA Drags in Prince George WWW.CMDRA.COM OR CALL (604 )882 1009

June 25th Road Captains Evening Ride. Leaves Trev Deeley Motorcycles @7PM Call TrevDeeley Motorcycles (604) 291 BIKE

June 30th Delta’s 3 day ride Call Warren (604) 524 8963

Bikernet has an area specifically designed so that anyone can post their own events, anytime, from anywhere. We also have more than reasonable banner prices, if you wish to advertise your event on Bikernet. Check it out or drop a note to SinWu@bikernet.com. If she’s not pissed at me, she’ll get right back to you.–Bandit

MODERN BUZZ WORDS–GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNO SECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a really BIG mistake.

404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located.”

LET’S RIDE–About now I’ll be eatin’ bugs on interstate 15 heading tearing into the smoldering Mojave. Nyla will be comfortably behind me out of harm’s way pinching me to stop for another Margarita. I’ll be wondering why I’m not in the cab of an airconditioned cage getting head and sipping something cool and refreshing, with my bike in the back, since I’ve ridden over this boring stretch of sand and faded beer cans a thousand times.

Again, I will try to better my time, not stopping for gas in Ludlow due to the crowds and dodging the beer cans flying out of the cabs of trucks hauling bikes to Laughlin. Frankly, I don’t care how you get there, air-conditioned or on a rigid, just have a good fuckin’ time and don’t run over my sorry ass. It’s 90 mph all the way. Let’s party–Bandit.

Wouldn’t you know that just as the River Run looms in the distance, the Golden State launches another one of its heat waves, so we’ll be sliding out of the coastal Santa Anas for even hotter climes in the desert. That’s one of the reasons for the early departure. The other reason is Sin Wu. Seems the Oriental goddess is developing a jealous streak. Time to leave town. Let’s get to the news, we’re burnin’ daylight:

PROFESSOR NUTTBOY–Has been crying that we have illustrated all the fiction except his. After interrogation and knocking out several of Jon’s teeth, he confessed his jealously for the doctor’s bizarre humor. Afraid that there is someone on the planet with a more demented notion of life than his own, he chose to ignore his etchings. Drugged and handcuffed to his chair, we forced him to draw the above illustration for one of the professor’s fictional ramblings–check it out in the Two-Wheeled Tale Department.

STURGIS CULTURE–Hold on old timers. Remember the days of drunken debauchery and drugs? Now we have a couple Sturgis art exhibits and we’ll be represented in both, hopefully. Here’s a note about one:

The Journey Museum in Rapid City, S.D., will host a photographyexhibition by Michael Lichter titled “Biker Generation.” The images, whichinclude many of Mike’s best-known works from 20 years of photographing thebiker lifestyle, will be on display from Aug. 4 through Sept. 3.

Some 13 ofthe finest custom motorocycles by some of the most famous bike builders inthe world will be on display with the photographs in the gallery and museum atrium from Aug. 4-11.

The opening reception, which Mike andmost of the participating builders will attend, is scheduled forTuesday, Aug. 7 from 4 – 8 p.m. Builders include Mitch Bergeron, Jesse James,Fred Koklin, Billy Lane, Bob McKay, Jim Nasi, Arlen Ness, Cory Ness, RonSimms, Donnie Smith, Russ Tom, Eddie Trotta and Paul Yaffee. The receptionis free and open to the public.

The museum is open from 9 a.m to 5 p.m.daily, and until 6 p.m. during bike week. It is located at 222 New York St., two blocks east of the Rushmore Plaza Holiday Inn and theCivic Center. Admission is $5 during bike week.

STRANGE CANTINA SHIT–Only the strangest, one-of-a-kind shit will be featured in Bandit’s Cantina. Check it out–we found the only sucker in the world to custom-paint oil filters.

BIG TIME, FIRST TIME, ANNUAL EVENT!–Last year (2000) was the first year for Nebraska’s Burn Camp for young burn victims. St. Elizabeth Hospital in Lincoln, Neb., is our state’s burn center and the direct sponsor for the summer camp. It was held in Burwell, Neb., last August and six children attended. Their ages ranged from 8-15 years.

The WIND& FIRE MOTORCYCLE CLUB (LINOMA) chapter is going to put on a Burn Camp poker run on July 7. Sign-ups are 9 a.m. to noon with escort. We are starting at two locations at the same time — the Lincoln firefighter and the Omaha firefighter halls. The last stop will be at Linoma beach. Cost is $8.50, all you can eat buffet of ribs and chicken. Cash prizes and raffles will be drawn here. All bikes and bikers welcomed.

What is the Wind & Fire MC? My name is MC Flott and I am with the Omaha Fire Department and a Local 385 member. We are firefighters who own and ride Harley-Davidson motorcycles. Anyone who owns a Harley and is a firefighter may join.

The W&F MC Burn Camp Poker Run has been approved by the national W&F organization and St. Elizabeth’s hospital in Lincoln, Neb. Contact- mcflott@home.com

–mc flott

A DOCTOR–A doctor and his wife are having a terrible fight at the breakfasttable.The doctor gets up in a rage and walks out yelling, “and you are notanygood in bed either.”

After some time, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends. Hecalls his wife and after at least a dozen rings she answers the phone.Again irritated, the doctor says, “What took you so long to answer thephone?”

She says, “I was in bed.”

“In bed this late in the day, doing what?”

“I was getting a second opinion,” she replied.

FAST DATE’S NEGOTIATIONS–If you’ve joined the Cantina, you saw Jim’s babes. We’re in the process of negotiating a contract with Jim to house all his calendar girls in the Bikernet headquarters during the six months it takes to shoot each calendar. We’ll report on the progress in the next couple weeks.This month he wrapped up the photography of the upcoming 2002 FastDates.comCalendars in a sizzlin’ cover shoot with our favorite calendar models andSBK World Superbike trophy girls Brooke Johnson and Taylor McKegney. Thingsreally got heated up in the studio between these two beautiful girls andI’m sure you’ll appreciate the results in the 2002 Garage Girls Calendar.And of course, the steamier outtakes from our shoot will be featured inMembers Corner in the next few months. So stay tuned…http://www.FastDates.com/MBRINVIT.htm

MUST SEE TV! —Speedvison’s American Thunder program coverage of our Hot Bikepresents the 2000 White Brothers LA Calendar Motorcycle Show premiers onTuesday, May 15, at 7:30 and 11:30 p.m. Eastern time. The 30-minute programwill replay throughout the year.I’ll be sure to remind you to catch the show next month before it airs.

CYRIL SHOWS IT ALL–For the first time, you can see Cyril and his team of craftsmen building a new custom from the ground up. Every Friday starting this week, just log on to the site of Bandit’s Bikernet at http://www.bikernet.com. Bikernet is owned and managed by Keith R. Ball, one of the greatest authorities in the motorcycle world. Keith is known worldwide by the pen name Bandit. His work fascinated Easyriders readers for three decades. He is the author of several books (“Prize Possession,””Outlaw Justice,” and “Orwell”). He has also restored and customized all types of two-wheelers.

Editor’s note. Cyril was on strong medication when he wrote theabove. Actually Bandit is not an authority on anything aside fromnipple technology. Give him enough jack and he’ll admit it.–Oz

Exclusively for Bikernet.com, from concept to final assembly, Cyril will explain how he gets his ideas, demonstrates his philosophy in action, shares with you tech tips and fabrication tricks to build the ultimate custom. Every Friday, Cyril will report on the progress made, and illustrate the work accomplished with many pictures. Log on now to http://www.bikernet.com and bookmark the site.

2- Cyril at the Louisiana Bike Expo in New Orleans:April 21-22, Cyril will be in New Orleans at the Bike Expo (Ponchartrain Center in Kenner, outside New Orleans). Three of his customs belonging to Louisiana residents will be in exhibition. Cyril will also show his accessories and autograph the new hard cover book, “Harley-Davidson: Customizing The Legend.”

3- “High Octane” and “Cruising” are featured in VQ and V-Twin Magazines:Two of the most recent bikes built by Cyril Huze, “High Octane” and “Cruising,” are featured in the current issues of VQ and V-Twin magazines. This is a good opportunity to find out the components used to build these customs.

4- On Line Store:We added new custom accessories. See them at http://store.cyrilhuze.com. Our store is secure and you can order online with a credit card. Or call (561) 392-5557.Because of the addition of these new accessories, the loading of our pages is getting longer and longer. So, we are working very hard at redesigning our Webstore for a faster and easier navigation. We will also offer new features like:

– Up to five images per product to help you make your decisions.
– Multiple payment methods, including credit card, check, money order and gift certificate.
– The possibility to buy gifts and have them shipped to other family members and friends.
– Tracking of the status of your order online.
– Estimated shipping date if a product is back ordered.

We should be ready before the end of May. Thank you for your patience.

Cyril Huze Custom
Motorcycles and Accessories
Tel: (561) 392-5557
Fax: (561) 392-9923
Website:
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com”>

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BUSH PLAN TO REGULATE MOTORCYCLISTS– In a startling revelation, George W. Bush announcedtoday before a packed gallery of reporters that he was considering boldinitiatives to regulate the 4 million motorcyclists in the United States.

Bush stood flanked by Vice-President Dick Cheney, American MotorcyclistAssociation (AMA) President Robert Rasor and Willie G. Davidson, vice president ofStyling for Harley-Davidson Motor Co. Bush said, “We expect to put inplace a plan of action that will benefit all Americans, not justmotorcyclists.”

The centerpiece of legislation proposed by Bush would be a monitoring systemthat would include a special electronic badge to be affixed to allmotorcycles, similar to the E-Z pass card in use in the Metropolitan NY andWashington, DC areas. With this new system to be called E-Z Rider, a specialPentagon computer would be linked to the current system of 25 earth orbitingsatellites that would continuously scan the earth’s surface in search of E-ZRider badges.

Cheney then said, “We need a first application for this system.Harley-Davidson has come forward with a proposal that I feel has merit. Thedata from E-Z Rider would be transmitted to the main computer center at theHarley-Davidson corporate center in Milwaukee, Wis.”

When questioned by reporters, Willie G. Davidson said, “With the use of E-ZRider, we will have a way to monitor the whereabouts of all motorcycleriders anywhere in the US. Furthermore, we have entered into an agreementwith the government to place a 2-digit code on the E-Z Rider badge toidentify Harley-Davidson riders.

This is especially important to us since we have our 100th anniversarycoming up in 2003. If President Bush and Vice-President Cheney can get thislegislation passed during this session of Congress, we will have a goodwindow of opportunity to get this system operational by the first quarter of2003 just prior to our 100th anniversary celebration.”

Davidson further stated, “We have received estimates from our H.O.G.chapters across the world that upwards of one million riders of our machineswill be descending on the Motor Company in Milwaukee. As you know, ourbuilding dates back to 1910 and has severe structural rigidity problems. Wehave been advised that the decibel (DB) levels coincident with one millionHarley engines all running at a speed of at least 34 miles per hour may havedeleterious effects on our factory.

Our engineers tell us that the building may fall. We are also concerned forthe various bridges in our city. The anticipated noise load may stress thesebridges beyond their design limits. That’s why we need to be able to detectthe approaching HOG traffic and disperse it to the secondary streets so asto equalize the load to be within design limits. The future of our companyis at stake here. This E-Z Rider legislation must be passed.”

Bush then said, “We are happy that Willie G. is here today to offer hiscompany’s support for this plan. We look forward to H-D partnering with thefederal government and being our first application of this important system.Furthermore, I’m taking this opportunity to announce that Laura and I areboth going to be riding in this 100th anniversary celebration. Laura justpresented me with a new Springer Softail. I plan to learn to ride it on thenew baseball diamond fields just now being set up on the South Lawn.”

“April Fools.”
–“Heavy Metal”
AMA #560419
’96 Kawasaki VN800B Vulcan Classic

Sin Cycles and Sinner clothing would like to announce the release of our summer clothing line.– Feel free to stop by our shop, or visit our Web site at www.sincycles.com. You can order direct from our Web site. Check out our new Sinner bathing suits, visors, hats and shirts.

Sin Cycles
Sinner Clothing
www.sincycles.com
(562) 997-9119

LARRY HAGMAN HONORED– Hey everyone! The tribute gala honoring Larry Hagman is booking up fast, soplease let us know as soon as possible if you’ll be able to join us at theBeverly Hilton on May 5. Semi-formal, dinner, dancing and silent auction -$125/person (310) 204-3300.

REFRIGERATOR NAZIS–At first I figured your reference to them refrigerator Nazis was a bit far reachin’ for me to get behind in your book “Sam Chopper Orwell.” Not that it detracted any from the story line, though. Just heard on the news, however, California is leanin’ toward that already due to power shortages going on. You must be one helluva fuck’n prophet there, dude. Ha!

Truthfully, though, I’ve seen first hand many of the subtlties you’ve mentioned going on around this country regarding the problems us bikers face with our freedoms. Since I may not have mentioned it before, consider it done now that you’ve done well with the book, and that your ex was right about the whole idea. I’m pass’n along the book to members of our “Valley A.B.A.T.E. Motorcycle Association” (of which I’m the treasurer). You’ll get some interest there, I’m sure. I’ll pass along your web site, too, so other writings of yours can be obtained if desired. I certainly am interested in reading more of your works, too.

–F.C. (Zzap!) White
Alaska, USA

CHROME SPECIALTIES ON-LINE CATALOG–Is here for you. We hope to offer more direct parts services in the near future, but for now, you can go directly to the CSI catalog just by clicking above.

BANDIT, GODDAMNIT LISTEN UP!– My bike was in November Cyber Bike Show, “In Memory of Justin.” It won first place in its class. Every July I put together a poker run and bike show. I call it the “Run For Breath – In Memory of Justin Pullin.” The run will be held on Sunday, July 22, here in Charlotte, N.C. Last year we raised over $6,000. At the end of the run there were over 1,000 bikespresent. Every year its gets bigger. Just about all the local shops and dealerships take part in the event. Last year there was local TV coverage also. I don’t know if it is possible or not, but I would like to ask you to emcee this event. I think having someone who is well known and respected as you are would draw even more attention to our event. I would be able to provide airfare, a place to stay, etc. I hope you will consider this request, as the run gets bigger and better every year. This will be the third annual run. All proceeds go to benfit the American Lung Association.

–Mike Pullin
Harley Davidson of Charlotte www.h-dofcharlotte.com(704) 847-4647 (work)

If I can be of assistance cleaning off the tables or stacking cups, I’ll be there.–Bandit

BIKERNET GULCH ACCUSED OF BEING WORLD WIDE ESCORT SERVICE–It’s just not true. Just talk to Kelly and Samantha. On second thought, you better not. I swear, the Bikernet Gulch is our our own specialized outlet mall. Secure ordering, resonable prices and customer service like you wouldn’t believe. I’m not sure I meant it that way. Buy a book, I’ll sign it. Buy a limited edition print, Eric Herrmann will sign it. Order a black and white limited- edition photo print and Mike Lichter, the famous Easyriders photog, will sign and mount the sucker. Maybe mount wasn’t the right word. Little Joe won’t sign his HA Leathers, but they’re the best in the world, and made by hardcore to last a lifetime. It’s a group of speciality shops hand picked by the Bikernet staff for quality and customer service. Of course, check out the Dragonfly girls. The shirts ain’t bad either.

REGISTRATION– for the 2001 Hot Bike magazine presents The White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show sponsored by Performance Machine, The Recycler and Budweiser.

Saturday and Sunday July 21-22The Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach

Registration for July’s show is now open and you are invited tojoin us. For 2001 we have expanded to a new two-day format at the Queen MaryEvent Park in Long Beach to accommodate the sold out spectator attendance weexperienced the last two years. But even with the expanded formatwe have not increased our exhibitor space cost, now giving you twice asmarketing value for the same price.

Exhibitor registration packs were mailed out to our year 2000 eventexhibitors this past week. If you did not receive yours or would like to join us this year as a new exhibitor, please give me acall to request a registration package.Or visit us online for complete details and an online registrationform that you can print out and mail in with payment.http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm

I also recommend making your hotel reservation at the Queen Mary soyou can easily walk to and from the show each day, and you’ll be there onon Saturday night for the big fireworks display and the bike show partywith live music in the Observation Deck Bar at 9 p.m. Ship hotelreservations are almost sold out, but still available by phoning(562) 435-3511.

SIGNS THAT YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE ’90s AND 2000– You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
You call your son’s beeper to let him know it’s time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, “What’s for dinner?”
Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her Web site.

RIP TRIBUTE–Rip had the most envious job of anyone in the Harley industry. He was paid to ride, and boy he did just that. We here at Bikernet respect the hard-riding brother he was. We’re collectin’ a series of shots of him as a remembrance and a reminder of his American Diabetes Bad Ride that raises money for the cause. If you have a shot of Rip you can spare, we will create a tribute to the man who made the notion of cross-country no more significant than a daily commute.

VANCOUVER HOG SCHEDULE-EH?–April 21 HOG Members Garage Sale at Trev Deeley Motorcycles. Call (604)434-1502
May 5 HOG Meeting 4608 Imperial in Burnaby. Call (604) 434-1502
May 6 Warren’s Mystery Ride HOG Meeting. Call (604) 524-8963
May 13 Mother’s Day Ride along with Delta Chapter. Call Your Mom. CallWarren at (604) 524-8963
May 18-20 AIM Bogie Bash. Call (800) 360-9079
May 22 Trev Deeley Day. Nite Ride leaves the store at 7 p.m. Call TrevDeeley Motorcycles(604) 291-BIKE

I KNOW THERE’S MORE–But I’m burnt, the sun is going down, and the Jack is waiting. We actually have some room in the garage to get cranking on NuttBoy’s ProStreet. There’s a major swapmeet coming up around the 20th and we want a complete list of needed parts and a handful of cash before we stroll through the gates.

Now that everyone has cleared out and it’s quiet around here, I need to warm up the head, fire up the candles and make her a white Russian. After a long bath it will be porno movies, sexual innuendos and lotsa touch through the night.

I can feel the sun beginning to force the cold chill to sea, and riding weather ahead. Take care of your babe so she won’t whimper when your drag pipes reverberate off the side of the stucco abode as you head out of town for the redhead in the neighboring burg. Let’s ride, we’re burnin’ daylight.

–Bandit

Continued from Page 2…..

FEDERAL CASES–Federal CasesWhen the Feds come and bust in your door, (in my case two houses I wasn’t in before they finally showed up outside the condo where I was), looking to arrest you on a conspiracy rap.I don’t care how tough you are; you’re in for a long ride before the dust settles.

I know many arm chair commandos who talk tough, but if they were looking at life, would piss down their legs and roll over for the government. Some of you know who you are. I’ve known others that were faced with the same situation over the years, and they did roll over. You know who you are, too.An honorable person will ride the beef. The fact that he is innocent or guilty doesn’t matter. He refuses to sell out and cooperate to save his own ass at the expense of others.

The first thing that happens to anyone who is arrested is they take you to a jail and put you in a room handcuffed to the chair you’re sitting in. At this point they want to read you your rights and then interview you. This is the point where many of the weak jump ship. Remember that you have the right to remain silent. You don’t have to talk to anyone, and if you tell them so, and assert your right to remain silent, they will have to discontinue attempts to interview you.

In all federal cases, records are kept of every interview. If there are snitches in your case, you will be able to get copies of everything they said before trial. When a person cooperates, he will not be sentenced until after he is done testifying against the other people charged in the conspiracy. This assures the prosecutor that the snitch doesn’t change his story, or discontinue cooperating before the defendants go to trial.

Red flags that will come up when you try to look into court records on an informant: sealed records, which you can’t get into, closed hearings, and sentences that are well below the guidelines. In my case, I have left all my court records open to inspection by anyone with the guts to ask to see them. No sealed records, etc.

We are posting the transcript from my sentencing on the Web, also. Many who couldn’t make it have requested it.

I want to thank all the F.R.C. and others who have made this site a success. Stay with us, it’s just the beginning and we have a lot of work to do.

–Rusty AFFA

SECURE ORDERING IN THE GULCH–If you noted the article above about the protection that leathers afford us riders, you might want to check the HA leather items in the Gulch. The finest around. If you want the finest shirts on the planet, check the girl in the Dragonfly hut. Killer shirts mailed directly to your door.

IN LOVING MEMORY OF MICHAEL (Hotdog Mike) POARCHMarch 11, 1956 — April 2, 2001You may have seen him — Hawaiin shirt, shorts and sandals with white socksselling awesome New York-style hotdogs from his custom Sportster triketricked out with a table and seats (yeah, table and seats) and pulling ahotdog cart. Mike was a loving father and husband and left behind manyfriends in central Oregon and across the country. Mike died in a freakmotorcycle accident in Arizona, doing something he did often, helping out afriend. Of all the anecdotes, loving memories and bizarre tales (the guy hada rubber hotdog glued to his helmet), one succinct comment stood out, “He wasalways happy.” We should all hope to be remembered as always happy. You’ll bemissed Mike…

–Deasal

A YOUNG JAPANESE GIRL–had been taught all her lifethat when she married she was to please her husbandand never upset him.So the first morning of her honeymoon, the young Japanesebride crawled out of bed after making love, stoopeddown to pick up her husband’s clothes and accidentallylet out a big fart.She looked up and said:”So sorry…excuse please, front hole so happyback hole laugh out loud.”

JOKER MACHINE RACING PROGRAM–In the next week or two we’ll be posting a complete report on the Joker Machine racing program, which includes drag bikes, Buells and more. Watch for it.This is a recent shot of Geoff Arnold from Helen Wolfe.<>Photos@HelenWolfe.com

3rd ANNUAL RUN FOR BREATHIN MEMORY OF JUSTIN PULLIN–Sunday, July 22, Charlotte H-D

Poker Run — $10 per hand,Sign Up At Ben’s V-Twin — 2429 South Tryon St.FREE Hot Dogs 11 a.m. until 1 p.m.Last Bike Out: 1 p.m. Last Bike In: 4 p.m.Run Ends At Buffalo’s Cafe in Monroe – 10 percent off foodPoker Run Gift Certificates: Best, 2nd Best and Worst HandsMusic provided by Brangle Brothers BandSign Up For Bike Show at Buffalo’s Cafe 4 ? 5Awards for first and third place and best of show

ALL PROCEEDS BENEFIT:Camp Air Care – American Lung Association of NC

SPONSORED BY:Harley-Davidson of Charlotte, Carpenters Auto Service, Inc. McElhattan’s Machine & RodBen’s V-Twin Collision Bike Works, Smiley’sSampson?s Custom Motorcycles, Alan & Lana Jacobs Wilgrove Amoco & MufflerBrown?s American Cycles, Hartsell Motorcycle Parts & Service, Auto Trader MagazinesIron Horse Motorcycles, Nikki?s Tattoo Studio, Buffalo’s Cafe,Full Throttle Magazine, RUA Motorcycles & Accessories, Cycle Sorcery,Knight Landscaping, BB&T- Crown Point, Pressley Associates,Jim Arnold?s Bar, Kristopher’s Sports Bar, Shapers, Quest Tattoo,H & G Cycles, Hooter’s of Matthews, Carolina Harley-Davidson,Sharky?s Carolina Bail Bonds, H & H CyclesEasy Rider, Good Time Caf?, The Family of Clarence Grisswold,Circle Medical Associates Family PracticesSaturday night, July 21 and pre-run party at Sharky’s!BBQ Dinners — $5 per plateFor more information, call Mike at (704) 847-4647

The worst news about this event is that I will be the day’s emcee.

CUSTOM CHROME BIKE IN A BOX SUCCESS–For the guy who can’t stand the high prices of custom bikes, there’s a kick-ass alternative and you can be the master of your own disaster. You can check out the whole story in the Custom Chrome Department on Bikernet. Here are a couple words from the builder:”I have beendreaming of building my ownbike for about eight years. Every time I went to build it, I was discouraged bythe amount of money I needed. I did, however, end up buying and rebuilding a 1978 FXE about fiveyears ago.I ordered the kit Dec. 1 and received it on Jan. 15.”

— Mike Hahn
Rosemount, Minn.

ROGUE’S QUALITY DISCOUNT PARTS–SPECIAL – ROLLING CHASSISIncludes : Black Powdercoated Kraftech Pro Street FXR Frame w/Neck Cups Installed, American Suspension Inverted Front End With Risers, Handlebars & Brake Bracket, Black Powdercoated Oil Tank w/Chrome Oil Dipstick & Mounting Bracket, Set Of 3 Spoke Mag Wheels, Brake Rotors Front & Rear, Rear Wheel Belt Pulley, Avon Venon X Tires Front & Rear, Complete Chrome Rear Swing Arm Assembly, Set Of Chrome Adjustable Tension Rear Shocks, Billet Aluminum Rear Fender Struts, Front & Rear Fenders, Gas Tanks With Mounting Brackets, Speedo Mounting Plate & Custom High End Seat Made Especially For This Set up. $6000.

Chrome Wide Swingarm Kit for FXR $400.00

4 Speed Harley transmission fits 1965-1984 Big Twin ( rebuilt)$1000.00

Roadstar 16-inch spoke wheel in box $250.00

Revtech 16×3 Front rally style billet wheel complete $350.00ea

Sturgis 16×3 1/2 front Mirage style billet wheel complete Retail $567.00 Rogue $300.00

Sturgis 16×3 1/2 Rim only Daytona style billet wheel $200.00

Sturgis 16×3 1/2 Rims only Rally style billet wheel $200.00

Sturgis Front Rim Hubs Non Brake Side For Single Brake Set Up $50.00ea

Sturgis 16×5 1/4 Rear Roadstar style billet wheel with Brake Side Hub & Rear Belt Pulley *(needs Pulley side hub available from Sturgis wheel)(Complete Wheel Retails for $663.00) Sturgis Roadstar Billet Rear Belt Pulley Retails for $356.00 A $1019.00 Value Rogue $550.00

Attitude style Sturgis Billet Rear Belt Pulley Retail $356.00 Rogue $250.00

CCI 47-098 70 tooth rear pulley multi spoke Retail $517.30 Dealer $362.30 ROGUE $250.00ea

Billet Aluminum inner primarys to fit FXR Rubber Mount, Extra Strong For Muscle Motors Retail $1000.00+ Rogue $400.00ea

Billet Aluminum outer primary covers to fit FXR Rubber Mount, Extra Strong For Muscle Motors Retail $1000.00+ Rogue $400.00ea

H-D inner primary’s to fit FXR $200.00ea

9135 H.D. Inner Primary Bearings, 5 Speed 1987 up Retail $20.00 Dealer $10.00 Rogue $8.00

39998-65 Anchor Plate Chain Adjuster Inner Primary Retail $30.00 Dealer $17.00 Rogue $12.00

Sets of 4140 Steel EVO connecting rods $50.00set

Spyke Starter jackshaft kits CCI 28-677 big twins 89-93 $70.00ea

5-Speed Harley Davidson taper shaft diaphgram clutch assembly w/kevlar clutch plates $350.00

37906-90 H.D. Clutch Basket Bearings Retail $83.00 Dealer $41.30 Rogue$30.00

Heavy Billet Aluminum 5 Speed transmission doors polished and beaings $100.00ea

Sets CCI 15-294 6 Gallon Gas Tanks HD FXST 1984-96 & custom frames $100.00set

25-550x Custom Chrome Flatside Gas Tank Mounting Kit Retail $49.95 Dealer $32.95 Rogue $25.00

CCI 13-383 Russell Stainless Steel Disc Brake Rotors (oem 41813-79) Retail $ 79.95 – Dealer $55.25 – Rogue $40.00 ea

CCI 13-381 Russell Stailess Steel Disc Brake Rotors (oem 41791-79A) Retail $79.95 – Dealer $55.25 – Rogue $40.00ea

32-574 Custom Chrome Bolt Kit For Rear Disc Brake Rotor to Hub W/Cast Wheel Retail $10.00 Dealer $6.65 Rogue $5.00

Set (4) Custom Sumax Premium Pushrod Cover Kit For H.D.EVO $135.80 Retail – $94.05 Dealer – $60.00 ROGUE

H.D 132 Tooth Rear Drive Belt # H.D. 40023-86 Fits 86 to present Softail. $165.95 Retail – $107.95 Dealer – $90.00 ROGUE

Jims Big Axle Hydraulic Lifters For EVO CCI 20-734 Set Of 4 Retail $234.95 Dealer $154.95 ROGUE $125.00 set (4)

Complete New Feuling – Quantum 4 Valve Head Kits to Fit Evolution V-Twin Engines (all parts necessary to bolt on, including easy to follow instructions) Retail $2399.00 Dealer $1799.00 ROGUE $1500.00

1 Head Kit As Above With Polished Fins And Painted Wrinkle Black $1600.00

Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve Head Front New Retail $295.68 – Dealer $197.12 ROGUE $195.00

Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve Head Front New Retail $295.68 – Dealer $197.12 ROGUE $195.00

Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve heads front, minor repair needed on some(guide,seat,threads) Retail Price $295.68, – Dealer $197.12 But has guides & seats already installed.$150.00ea

Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve heads rear, minor repair needed on some (guide,seat,threads)Retail Price $295.68, – Dealer $197.12 But has guides & seats already installed.$150.00ea

Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve front rocker boxes assembled less swivel feet, $395.00ea

Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve rear rocker boxes assembled less swivel feet, $395.00ea

Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve rocker box covers Retail $86.52- Dealer $57.68 Rogue $25.00ea

Dual Carb Plenums for Feuling-Quantum 4 Valve Heads Retail $95.07-Dealer $75.00 Rogue $50.00eaFeuling-Quantum Oversize Intake Valve Guides Retail $5.45- Dealer $3.63 Rogue $3.63ea

Feuling – Quantum Head Bolts Retail $28.80 ea Dealer $19.20ea ROGUE $15.00ea

*** Feuling 4 Valve Front Rocker Boxes for Sportster or 4Cam V-Twin $200.00ea

Front Offset motor mount black powdercoated for Boyce frames $25.00ea

Petcocks CCI 25-253 & Chrome Spec. 260366 $10.00ea

Petcocks CCI 27050 Accel $30.00ea

Steel motormount stablizer (turnbuckle complete) rubber mount 5 speeds $40.00ea FXR

Chrome Kickstands for Sportster $40.00ea

Sumax #8635 Front Fender $100.00 Rogue $40.00

Sumax #8650 Front Fender $100.00 Rogue $40.00

Sumax #8651 Front Fender $100.00 Rogue $40.00

Sumax #8654 Front Fender $156.00 Rogue $65.00

Sumax #8604 W Rear Fender $158.00 Rogue $65.00

Sumax #8609 W Rear Fender $127.00 Rogue $50.00

Sumax #8617 W Rear Fender $114.00 Rogue $50.00Sumax #8619 W Rear Fender $119.00 Rogue $50.00Sumax #8656 W Rear Fender $192.00 Rogue $75.00

CCI 13-389 Russel Stainless Oil Lines for FXR 1987 – 1990 Retail$143.95 – Dealer $99.35 – Rogue $70.00

CCI 13-387 Russel Stainless Oil Lines for Softail 1990 – 1992 Retail$156.95 -Dealer $109.15 – Rogue $80.00

Clear Coated Universal Stainless Steel Brake Lines–many lengths–$14.00

Avon Venom X 160/80 B16 Rear Tires $70.00 ea

Avon Venom X MT 90 B16 74H Front Tires $50.00ea

Corbin Dual Touring Leather Seat For 84-97 Softails (with backrest) Seat $659.00 – Back Rest $219.00 = $878.00 Rogue $450.00

Corbin Close Gunfighter Leather Seat With Back Rest Capabilities For Softails $399.00 Rogue $220.00

–Contact Roguerogue@bikerrogue.com

POLARIS OUTDOOR EXPERIENCE COMING–With the opening of a first-of-its-kinddealership near Atlanta, Polaris is about to set a new standard for thepowersports shopping experience. Polaris is helping its dealer networktransform dealerships into innovative retailing environments with theopening of the prototype Polaris America dealership in Conyers, Ga.

Thisindependent flagship dealership, complete with a riding track for customersto test Polaris’ recreational products and a fireplace for a rusticbackwoods feel, sets the standard for the Polaris dealership of the future.

“We’re thrilled to bring this new shopping experience to powersportsenthusiasts,” said Tom Tiller, president and CEO of Polaris. “At Polaris,our products are all about the riding experience, and that experience beginsin our dealerships.”

— Susan Custer
Weber Shandwick
scuster@webershandwick.com

MAJOR CONTENDER–The attached is Colton LaFon, JR 5. Currently he ranks No. 2 in the AHDRA National points. He also wears a Joker Machine emblem, so I thought I’d hurry up and get it to you.

–Helen Wolfe

Continued on Page 4…..

Continued from Page 1…..

RENO, NEVADA: From the Reno Gazette-Journal, Mary Thompson says: TheAmerican Civil Liberties Union of Nevada has offered to help northern NevadaAIM attorney Kevin Karp and a group of Reno motorcycle club members withthe Northern Nevada Confederation of Clubs, who are contesting Carson citycourthouse rules that ban them from wearing their colors in the publicbuilding. The judge said that their swastika-decorated vests coulddisrupt his courtroom.

DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA: Bikers are riding without helmets, but bike-relatedfatalities have dropped after the helmet law was repealed! The numbers fromDaytona’s Bike Week are a real vindication to all the Florida bikers whofought so hard to undo their helmet law. Bike Week was under particularscrutiny to gauge the impact of repealing the lid law last July 1. The fearwas that more motorcyclists would die, but instead deaths actually droppedsharply.

From PA NEWS comes this nice little worry for ya. AIRBAG VEST FORMOTORCYCLISTS TO GO ON SALE! A motorcycle clothing manufacturer in Italy hasdreamed up this device that supposedly instantly inflates all three of its”PROTECTIVE” bags in the event of a crash and envelopes the rider in acocoon of safety, thereby saving the life about to be lost.

–GUNNY

LAUGHLIN DRAGS–If you see this bike racing at the Avi drag races, come upand say hi. I should be racing there Saturday. With low tirepressure, it pulls up the front wheel in first, second and third.

I like the Cantina!
Stan

NATIONWIDE MOTORCYCLE FATALITIES ON THE RISE– After nearly a decade-longdecline, motorcycle fatalities are on the rise again – and statistics showthat aging baby boomers may be behind the increase, according to a LosAngeles Times analysis of federal statistics.

Motorcycle fatalities among riders 35 and older rose 59 percent between1994 and 1999, while federal statistics show that deaths for those 34 andyounger fell 22 percent during the same period. For the first time, in 1999,older riders accounted for a majority of those killed. That was also theyear the trailing edge of the baby boom generation turned 35.

“These trends fly in the face of the conventional wisdom about who’sgetting killed on motorcycles,” said Rae Tyson, a spokesman for theNational Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

Motorcyclists accounted for 2,472 of the 41,611 people killed onAmerica’s roads in 1999–about 6 percent of the total. During the past 10years, the average age of motorcyclists killed rose from 29.3 in 1990 to 36.5in 1999, according to NHTSA statistics.

–Bill Bish NCOM

MOTORCYCLE INDUSTRY BOOMING — “Money generated by new motorcycle sales in1999 might rival the gross national product of some small countries – thetotal came to an estimated $4.4 billion,” reports Motorcycle Industry magazine.That figure is up almost $1 billion from 1998, and it’s more than doublewhat it was in 1994. Talk about a booming industry.

Motorcycles themselves accounted for less than half of the $9.9 billionin sales generated by motorcycle retailers across the country. The rest ofthe money came from sales of used motorcycles, parts and accessories, andservice labor.

In 1999, a typical franchised motorcycle dealer averaged $840,000 in newunit sales, $294,800 in parts and accessories, $281,600 in used sales,$82,100 in service and $23,800 from other related sales. On average, amotorcycle dealer has 11.2 full-time employees and 2.0 part-time workers,with an average payroll of $351,000.

–Bill Bish, NCOM

IT’S YOUR HIDE– Leathers are the only way to go, as most of us learnafter we’ve been sandpapered and cheese-grated by doing the blacktop bebop afew times.

So dig this disintegration comparison study of scooter-thickness leathervs. other materials hitting the pavement at 50 mph:Heavy denim–a measly 4 feetKevlar (the same material used in bulletproof vests)–18 feetYuppie leather (the cheap, thin, Wayne Newton-style crap)–29 feetHonest-to-God motorcycle-quality leather–86 feet

Simply put, when it comes to body armor, don’t be a skinflint–unless youwant to someday end up tweezing pieces of gravel outta your skin.

–SAVAGE, BIKER MAGAZINE

QUOTE OF THE DAY– “Everything that I did in life that was worthwhile Icaught hell for.”FORMER U.S. SUPREME COURT JUSTICE EARL WARREN

CYRIL HUZE BEGINS CUSTOM PROJECT ON BIKERNET–Here’s a sketch of a brand new custom build to be followed to thefinish right here on Bikernet. We’ll have the first segment up in the next couple days. Watch for it.

Continued on Page 3…..

DRAG RACING COMES TO BIKERNET–All Harley drag racing has a loyal following even though the sanctioning bodies seem to come and go. We’ve been following some of the stars through drag racing journalistic legends Charlie and Mary Lou Brewton. Recently, Helen Wolfe joined the ranks of contributors with her immense photographic talents. Her husband, The Mailman, is an active racing enthusiast. So check out Drag Racing on Bikernet with our first complete race report from our own master billboard designer John Siebenthaler. It’s up now.

IN CASE YOU FORGOT THE YEAR–BanditHowdy,Just a reminder about the April 22 swap meet (this Sunday) at the historic Longhorn Ballroom in Dallas. And don’t forget that the race scheduled for May 6 in Dallas, Saturday Nite Under the Lites, has been moved to May 5 in Shreveport, La., at Red River Raceway. For more information on these events and upcoming events, check out: www.texasscooter.com www.texasscooter.com

Hope to see you there!
Texas Scooter Times

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to InjuredMotorcyclists (AIM) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM),and is sponsored by the law offices of Richard M. Lester. For moreinformation, call (800)ON-A-BIKE, or visit the Web site at www.aimncom.com

From TheGUNNY’S SACK

NATIONAL COALITION OF MOTORCYCLISTS (NCOM) CONVENTION: LAST CHANCE, LASTANNOUNCEMENT! The 16th annual NCOM convention will be in Orlando, Fla., May10-12. Don’t miss this one folks, it’s gonna be the biggest and bestyet. We’re expecting about 1,500 motorcycle rights activists from ALL overthe U.S. and the world, from ABATEs to confederations of clubs, and everytype of rider in between.But hurry–the Marriott hotel has been sold out for months, and now we’vesold out the overflow hotel next door. So if you need a room, you’llneed to call the AmeriSuites hotel on the same block at (407) 240-3939, andbe sure to mention NCOM for our special convention rate of $69 for a single/double.Rotten Roger of ABATE of Oregon will receive a special recognition awardfor his lifetime of service in bikers’ rights. He is truly one of our specialpeople (anyone ever heard of “ABATE of Roger?”) and richly deserves to behonored. Phone Bill Bish at NCOM, (800) ON-A-BIKE, for info andreservations.

Here’s the Beach Ride Committee minus the mysterious Bandit.

Continued on Page 2…..

APACHE JIL, TOMBSTONE, ARIZONA, TATTOO MASTER–Had to wait to get back to you, all my tattoo work was loaded into pddfiles. Had to wait for my buddy to show me how to convert them to jpg. Don’thave much because my scanner took a crap, but sending you what I do have loadedright now. Off to Reno next week for National’s convention. Get your buttover here, you’ve been away too long……Love ya, Jil

BIKERNET MEETS PAT TRAVERS–I READ IN THE PAPER THAT THE GREAT PAT TRAVERS WOULD BE PLAYING IN TOWN.WITH MY INFINITE WISDOM, I SEE VISIONS OF PHOTO OPPORTUNITY DANCING INMY HEAD. I CALL MY FRIEND, CRAIG LATRONICA (A BIG SHOT AT BIONICRECORDS) AND HE SETS THE WHOLE THING UP. SO, HERE IS A PICTURE OF ME AND PAT TRAVERS BACKSTAGE WITH ABIKERNET SHIRT I GAVE TO MR. TRAVERS, CAUSING HIM TO REPLY “HEY, NICESHIRT, MAN, THANKS.”

THE SHOW WAS GREAT. AS HE STATES TO THE CROWD UPON TAKING THE STAGE, “WE’RE HERE TO KICK YOUR ASS.” WELL, I CAN SAFELY CONFIRM HE DID JUSTTHAT. I LIKE FOLKS THAT KEEP THEIR WORD.

HE DOESN’T WEAR FUCKING LIPSTICK OR CHICK’S CLOTHING AND HE DOESN’T TAKEDRUGS. I SWEAR THE BASTARD HASN’T AGED IN 25 YEARS. PT DOES “NOBULLSHIT” ROCK ‘N’ ROLL. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND CATCHING HIS ACT. I’VE BEEN AFAN SINCE 1977.ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE SHOW, WE WERE ALMOST KILLED. CRAIG WAS DRIVING’CAUSE HE DIDN’T WANT TO DRINK THAT NIGHT. I, HOWEVER, HAD ENOUGH FORBOTH OF US. ANYWAY, WE HAVE PAT ON THE CD AND I’M JUST DAY-DREAMING TOMYSELF “HEY, THAT PT IS ONE COOL FUCKER, HE DIDN’T HAVE TO TAKE THATPICTURE, BUT HELL, I DIDN’T HAVE TO GIVE HIM THAT BIKERNET…” THEN ILOOK UP. WE’RE HEADING TOWARD A RED LIGHT AT 80 MPH! “CRAIG, RED LIGHT,MAN.” NO RESPONSE, HE’S ALSO DAY-DREAMING. “CRAIG! RED-FUCKING-LIGHT!”SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETCH!

–JON TOWLE

We’ll report on Jon’s condition, or lack thereof, in the near future.–Bandit

WHO’S THE PRESIDENT?–A few days after George W. Bush’s inauguration, a man came up to the Marineon duty at the White House and said, “I’d like to see President Clinton.”

The Marine politely answered, “Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president.”

The man said, “Oh, okay,” and walked away.

The next day the Marine was again on duty and the same man approached andagain asked to see President Clinton.

The Marine again answered, “Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president.”

Again the man answered, “Oh, okay,” and walked away.

The next day the same man approached the same Marine and again asked to seePresident Clinton. The Marine, a little annoyed by this time, said,

“Sir,I’ve told you, Mr. Clinton is no longer president. Don’t you understandthat?”

“Yes, I do,” said the man “But I just enjoy hearing it.”

ADJUSTABLE SWINGARMS–From: JMC Adjustable Aluminum Swingarms

GN Products of Chatsworth, Calif., has been appointed U.S. distributor of JMC Aluminum Swingarms for Harley-Davidson.

JMC Swingarms are custom made in England out of 7020 hi strength aircraft aluminum. It is the strongest weldable aluminum available.

The swingarms have unique eccentric axle adjusters that allow lowering or raising the ride height of the motorcycle by simply loosening two pinch bolts and rotating the axle.

The savings in un-sprung weight over stock range from 16 to 21 pounds, depending on the model of your bike. Because of this, the ride and road holding characteristics are dramatically improved. You will also gain the equivalent of about 2 horsepower in power to weight ratio.

The swingarms come show polished and are complete with races and bearings. They use stock axle spacers and install without any modification to the bike.

Available for Dyna, FXR, Sportster and ’99 and earlier Softail. Wide tire and lengthened applications are also available.

For more information contact GN Products at:
(818) 773-8509
(818) 625-2709
gnetkin@aol.com
www.hogpro.com

BIG DADDY REPORT–For those of you who knew, or were influenced by “Big Daddy” Ed Roth, aka Rat Fink, you might be interested to know his last editorial was commenting on my Bonneville book at: http://www.driveonline.com/future.html

I was stunned to hear of his untimely death, only a few days after the editor of Drive! sent me his manuscript. He obviously loved the salt, but like many people, never got out to the white dyno enough to suit his needs.

I share this to honor one of the most colorful characters that the high performance industry has had the pleasure to enjoy and thank him — posthumously — for kind words and everlasting, effervescent enthusiasm.

“LandSpeed” Louise Ann Noeth

1928 SHOVELHEAD UPDATEThis puppy is coming right along. Handle bars are in place, tanks are in place, we’re just about ready to go to paint. Watch for an update on the site in the next week.

SIGNS THAT YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 90’s AND 2000–You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, butyou haven’t spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if itcontains echinacea.

You check your blow-dryer to see if it’s Y2K compliant.

Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send hera JPEGfile of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

WE’RE HISTORY–I’m outta here. It’s been a wild week dodging the media, burying myself in writing projects, preparing for Laughlin. The desk we built is now in John Buttera’s hands. The Blue Flame is at Micah McCloskey’s Custom Motorcycles in Canoga Park (818) 348-8967. That means the dicey Knucklehead built by Randy Simpson of Milwaukee Iron is back at the headquarters and Don Whalen returned the ’46 Indian, so there are motorcycles in every corner. Hell, had to take the bars off the Indian to get it in the bedroom. We’re in the market for a couple of shipping containers to expand the garage temporarily. Ya see, it’s my goal to have all the hard working fools at Bikernet on choppers, so we’re in the middle of building NuttBoy a pro street, and, with the assistance of Richard R., a reader, we have a rolling Sportster chassis to begin a chopped Sporty for the mad starving illustrator, Jon Towle.

Next week, we’re rolling into the desert. The babes, the Buell, NuttBoy, the attorney and the mechanic. Should be one helluva weekend, that is, if I finish the articles for the three magazines breathing down my neck. Let’s ride.–Bandit

Motorcycle Riders Foundation?s Annual Western Regional Meeting Will Be Broadcast Live Via Internet

MRF Washington, D.C. — Concerned about motorcyclists? rights and overall transportation safety on the American road?

Better fly, drive — or, preferably, ride — to Phoenix, AZ, on April 6 thru 8 where the leaders of the American motorcyclists? rights movement plan their strategy for current legislative initiatives and beyond.

This year, the Motorcycle Riders Foundation, the first voice for riders? rights in the nation?s capitol and the only Washington voice devoted exclusively to the street rider, will present the 2001 Best of the West at the Embassy Suites North at the southeast corner Greenway & I-17. Address as follows:

ABATE & MMA of Arizona invites you to meet the MRF Board of Directors Friday evening. The General Session Saturday morning starts at 8:30 and will finish with MRFVice-President Tom Wyld?s presentation, ?Is Your Ride For Freedom Or Is MyRide Finished.? The afternoon offers sessions on Leadership, Computer Workshop,Strategic Planning For Your SMRO, Triage and Act/Create Successes for Your Organization, Budgeting For Your SMRO, SMRO Activities, and How Can You Be Most Effective In Your SMRO. The evening will wind up with a cash bar/social hour, banquet, and both silent and live auctions.

Can?t make it? —- Logon!!!.

MRF has selected INB Radio to transmit the conference live, on the Internet. A leader in Internet streaming technology, INB Radio will transmit the conference live – and make the conference available on archive for 60 days. (Click on inbRadio now for more details.)

This conference will be simulcast live on the Internet via the INB radio network. INBRadio can be accessed at www.inbradio.com, or as a direct link from the MRF web site, mrf.org.

Best of the West will offer a wide range of training and information. There will be state legislative reports, plenty of news on the globalization of the motorcycle industry and itsaffect on the American marketplace, an update on the proposed Environmental Protection Agency?s proposed rules covering motorcycles, and much more.

If you need the most up to date information on motorcyclist?s rights and safety issues itwill be delivered to your home computer on Saturday April 7 by the MRF and INB radio.It?s the next best thing to being there. The broadcast will also be on the INB archive listfor the next 60 days. If you can?t hear it live you can still get the information later, or goback and listen again to get all the details.

The Los Angeles Times reported yesterday that the National Safety Council isadvancing the name of a staunch anti-rider-rights advocate to head theNationalHighway Traffic Safety Administration.

This development requires a vigorous response from the American motorcyclists?rights movement.

California riders and motorcyclists generally have gone on alert atthe prospect of former Commissioner Maurice Hannigan being considered as thenext NHTSA Administrator. Pushed by the National Safety Council who hasopposed the freedom agenda of motorcyclists, former Commissioner Hanniganchampioned California?s mandatory helmet law. His opposition to motorcyclistsand their rights over the years has been staunch, vocal, and consistent.

Hannigan is best known for formulating a helmet law enforcement policy that Federal Courtshave ruled violates motorcyclists Constitutional rights. The Federal Court for the SouthernDistrict of California issued the first ever permanent injunction against the CHP in their history.The injunction was upheld by the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals.

Call to action:
First: Call the White House at 202-456-1414. Politely but firmly explainyouropposition to former Commissioner Hannigan and any official for NHTSA?s topjobthat is not respectful of motorcyclists, our rights and our freedom. If youcan?t get through on the phone, send an email to the following: The President
Second: Reach at least 3 other riders NOW and urge them to make the samecall.
Third: Call your U.S. Senators at 202-224-3121 and explain your opposition toany official for NHTSA?s top job that is not respectful of our rights. Also,you can find your senators? email addresses atU.S. Senate

The country’s long ride toward installing a new President looksto have come to an end. Bikers have finally won one. George W. Bush has been a long time friendto motorcyclists, and promises to change the way we’re dealt with by the Feds. I had the pleasureof meeting and talking to him during the campaign, and he proved that everything my friend, Sputnik,said about him was true. The first thing he said to me was that he wasn’t going to let anybody turnback the clock on Texas riders, and that their freedom was his most important consideration when hesigned the bill to remove the helmet law for adult riders.

For all of you who heeded the call and turned out to vote, great job! Don’t let up, keep involvedwith the system. Make it your duty to check up on all of your elected representatives, andkeep in contact with them. It’ll be good for you, and good for them. Like voting, your rights need exercise, justlike with muscles, the more you flex them the stronger they get!

In a move that many around the country think was eleven months too latein coming the Board of Trustees of the American Motorcyclist Association (AMA)announced that Robert Rasor has been named the Association’s newpresident, effective Nov. 1.

The announcement was made at a meeting of the AMA Board at theAssociation’s headquarters in Pickerington, Ohio.

Rasor has been a member of the AMA staff for nearly 28 years, startingin January 1973 as a legislative analyst. In the early ’80s, he becamedirector of the AMA’s Government Relations Department, a postsubsequently titled vice president for government relations.>We at Bikernet.com want to congratulate Rob and wish him great success.

“FREE AT LAST,FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD FLORIDA IS FREE AT LAST,” exclaimeda jubilant James “Doc” Riechenbach III, President and Lobbyist for ABATEof Florida, moments after receiving a personal phone call from GovernorJeb Bush at 3:50 p.m. (EST) today, June 16, to tell him that he’d signedtheir helmet law repeal bill!

Doc, who also serves as Chairman of theBoard of Directors for the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM),said, “It’s been a long time coming, 31 years, and we’d just like to thankour ABATE members, NCOM and every state that helped us win our freedom!”

House Bill 1911 will repeal Florida’s helmetlaw for riders 21 and older who have a minimum of $10,000 in medical insurance,and will become effective July 1, 2000.

“The Bush brothers have now set two statesfree,” exclaimed Doc, referring to Jeb Bush’s brother and Presidentialhopeful, George W. Bush Jr., who as Texas Governor signed a similar billin 1997 to allow freedom of choice for responsible adult Texas motorcyclists. 

Something tells me that Daytona Bike Weekis gonna be one Helluva helmetless celebration! NATIONAL COALITION OF MOTORCYCLISTS(NCOM)

If you thought that states like Arizonaand New Mexico didn’t have a helmet law for adult riders, you were wrong…atleast until now. Although state laws in those Southwest states allow riders18 and older to ride without a helmet, a mandatory helmet requirement hasbeen in existence on all Navajo Nations land, even though it was seldomenforced by Tribal Police.

But the tribal council recently voted unanimously57-0, with no opposition, to repeal the helmet law on their Native Indianreservation lands, which is considered to be a separate and autonomousgovernment, and bring their law into compliance with other Southwesternstates comprising the Navajo Nation.

The helmet law repeal was signed by NavajoNation President Kelsay Begay on May 8, 2000. 

Those of us who’ve been fighting in thetrenches for bikers’ rights have known all along that the National HighwayTraffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) has been fudging their statisticswhen lobbying against us on helmet laws. But now comes word from Ms. NHTSAherself, Saint Joan of Claybrook, who’s vision and leadership brought ussuch governmental boondoggles as the backwards-steering ”Safer-Cycle,”that NHTSA mislead the public regarding the safety of air bags.

According to a WASHINGTON TIMES editorial”Death By Safety Experts” forwarded to us by COWBOY over the Internet,former Carter-era NHTSA chieftain Joan Claybrook recently admitted thatNHTSA’s false or inaccurate claims over the years have ”hurt” the agency’sreputation and believability with the public, particularly with the ongoingfiasco over air bags. 

Among other things, the editorial chargesthat while serving as NHTSA administrator Claybrook claimed that mandatingcar manufacturers to install air bags ”was necessary because of then-chronicunderuse of safety belts. She said that air bags could actually supplantseat belts and would provide superior protection.”

It goes on that ”Miss Claybrook, likeher mentor Ralph Nader, also claimed that air bags were the safest wayto arrest the forward movement of an unbuckled child in a frontal impact.In fact, an Associated Press photo surfaced recently depicting Mr. Naderdemonstrating an air bag simulator with an unbuckled young girl.”

We now know that it is precisely the unbuckledoccupants, especially infants and young children, who are most likely tobe killed or maimed by a deploying air bag.

”Mr. Nader and Miss Claybrook have yetto be called to account for their dangerously misleading advocacy,” saysthe Times.

Claybrook and Nader also put forth theutterly unsubstantiated claim that air bags would save up to 9,000 livesannually, states the article, although ”No factual evidence was ever givenin support of this gratuitous assertion. It is looked upon with derisionby knowledgeable industry analysts.”

Claybrook’s recent, belated apology forthe flood of dangerous falsehoods about air bags she turned loose some20 years ago is not much comfort to the more than 150 people, many of themchildren, who’ve been killed and the thousands who’ve been injured by thesegovernment-mandated ”safety” devices.

”True, air bags have certainly saved lives,”admits the article, ”But there is no question that they have also killed.No other safety device required by federal law has such a mixed recordof success.”

The Times editorial concludes; ”How manypeople will have to die before the government concedes it made a mistakeby ignoring the engineers and listening instead to know-nothing busybodiessuch as Madam Claybrook is anybody’s guess.” 

Politically active Cal Bikers broke a moritoriumin the Senate Transportation Committee, and pushed though a veterans licenseplate for motorcyclists. 

Following months of frenzied lobbying byABATE of California and a biker veteran named ”Trash”, a motorcycle licenseplate to honor veterans has received an important nod from the Senate TransportationCommittee by a unanimous vote of 9-0. This vote reflects the strength ofthe motorcyclists’ lobby, as bikers faced an uphill battle in getting theirbill approved due to a self-imposed moratorium on approving any additionallicense plates in California. 

Although AB1515 had received unanimoussupport in all the committee votes in the Assembly, including a unanimousfloor vote to send the bill to the Senate for consideration, it was stonewalledin the Senate Transportation Committee until motorcyclists and other specialinterest groups wanting specialized plates were successful in convincingcommittee chairwoman Senator Betty Karnette to lift the ban and allow avote. 

In addition to creating a special plateto honor motorcycling veterans, AB1515 was further amended to allow motorcyclelicense plates to be issued for any existing car plate. 

At this point, it looks like smooth sailingfor the Veterans Motorcycle License Plate bill, which has yet to have asingle vote cast against it. ABATE OF CALIFORNIA 

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EXCEPTIONAL CHILDREN’S ART SHOW– Hope to see you and your guests at the ECF Art Show and Reception on April 20, 6-9 p.m., at the Aaron Bros. location in West Hollywood (8383 Santa Monica Blvd. at Kings Road). They told us there is some road construction in the area but business as usual.

Best regards–Carmela Anne Burke
www.ECFArtcenter.com.

MASTER BUILDER TO BUILD ON BIKERNET– Cyril Huze will be building a bike from the ground up right here on Bikernet. “I will send segments every weekend, texts and pictures of what we did on the Softail frame during the week. I know you update on Thursday, so you will have time before uploading. I will e-mail the first chapter (concept) this weekend,” Cyril said from his Florida-based shop.

TRUE STORY– no shit. A buddy of mine goes to pick up his new bike at a Northwest dealer that shall remain nameless…. Here’s a transcript of the event….

–From Chuck

Well…….went up north for the hog today. Weather was looking a bit dicey, but decided to go anyway. I get up there, pay the money, sign zee papers (old man)……all fairly painless. Then a general run through on the bike………..

Sales rep: “This is a front tire, this is a rear tire. They are new and may be a bit slick. Take it easy on the brakes. Here is the maintenance schedule.”

Chuck: “Yeah, that’s cool, man…….gimme the keys.”

Sales rep: “These are the turn signal switches, one on each side.”

Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah……gimme the keys.”

Sales rep: “This is the starting procedure, it takes about three minutes to warm up.”

Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah……gimme the keys!”

Sales rep: “And this is how the security system works, press once to arm, press twice to disarm. This is how to enter your own security code.”

Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah……Hey, man! Gimme the keys!”

Sales rep: “And this is how the front forks are locked……..”

Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah…..GIMME THE (censored) KEYS!”

Sales rep: “And this is how the front forks are unlo………?”

Chuck: “GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!”

Sales rep: “And this is how the front forks are unlo…………………………..!”

Chuck: “!!!!!!!!!!!!?”

Sales rep: “Tell you what……how about we deliver it after we fix the front fork lock?”

CJ IS BACK IN ACTION–The outlaw engraver is back in Kentucky and in action. He’s working on a series of Bandit engraved engine covers that we should feature shortly. Check out his site.

DON’T FORGET TO MARK YOUR CALENDAR– with the schedule for my show, titled “Michael Lichter’s Biker Generation; Twenty Years of Motorcycling Photography.”

June 2001 in Laconia, N.H., at the Belknap Mill Society Gallery.

August 2001 in Rapid City, S.D., at the Journey Museum (There will also be custom bikes in the show by Arlen Ness, Cory Ness, Jesse James, Ron Simms, Paul Yaffe, Eddie Trotta, Russ Tom, Donnie Smith, Billy Lane and Mitch Bergeron).

November 2001 in Littleton, Colo., at the Koebel Library Gallery.

February – October 2002 in Pickerington, Ohio, at the American Motorcycle Association (AMA) Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum.

Call me at (303) 449-3906 for more specific details and the date/time for the opening receptions. You can also look on the Web look for info at www.lichterphoto.com

FRESH FROM HER SHOWER– a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it’s not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.” Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she asks.

“They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies. The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?”

“It worked for your ass, didn’t it?”He lived. And, with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again…..

–Bill V.

IRON HORSE TRIKES RACES TO STURGIS 2001–That’s right, we have a contender for the run to Sturgis. Don Center of Iron Horse Trikes will be leaving Roswell, N.M., with a 560-horsepower blown Chevy and two 30-gallon saddle gas tanks. He’ll make the 1,000-mile trek in just over 10 hours. Check the feature on Don’s bike in the Bike Barn.

The bastard actually thinks he can beat my beefed-up Buell with a flamed paint job and cams.

A YOUNG GUY– from Texas moves to California and goes to a big departmentstore looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any salesexperience?”

The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas.”

Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. “You starttomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the storewas locked up, the boss came down. “How many sales did you make today?”

The kid says, “One.”

The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.How much was the sale for?”

Kid says, “$101,237.64.”

Boss says, “$101,237.64? What did you sell him?”

Kid says, “First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a mediumfish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishingrod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at thecoast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boatdepartment, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said hedidn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to theautomotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer.”

The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him aboat and truck?”

Kid says, “No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, andI said, ‘Well, since your weekend’s shot, you might as well go fishing.'”

–Bruce, Booze Fighters M/C

1928 SHOVELHEAD PROJECT–Report from Jim Stultz of Dallas Easyriders indicates that there’s progress in the service department. The Compufire ignition and charging system is partially hidden in a tunnel under the gas/oil tanks. The bars from Milwaukee Iron are complete and the sheet metal is ready for paint. Watch for a new report in the next week or so.

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CHARLOTTE H-D OPEN HOUSE– Here are some of my favorite bikes that were at our open house April 7. This is a ’95 S2 Buell done up the North Carolina way. It’s a 96-inch S&S engine with turbo and nitrous! The owner also had the rims polished for a cool look. The other Buell is a 1988 RR1200 Battletwin. Only 65 of these were made. This version usesthe 1203 Evo Sportster engine. This replaced the XR-1000 engine used in the RR1000 through 1988, of which only 50 were made. Both of RR1000 and RR1200 are some of mostsought after Buells by collectors.

And the Indian ain’t bad!

–Charlotte H-D

–Helen Wolfe
Photos@HelenWolfe.com

ANOTHER BRAND OF FUN– A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor.

“Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue “Y” on her chest.

“How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a green “M” on her chest. “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor.

“No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?”

–FP

TIM CONDER IS ALIVE–Hey man, I took a little four-day detour from Top Fuel and built thisthing.

*1,400 razor blades welded edge up.
*2 three-pound boxes of nails. (seat and floorboards)
*10 feet of barbed wire.
*Tank shift with a REAL MONKEY SKULL!
*Suicide clutch.
*No front brake.
*Angle iron rigid struts.

Yeah, it’s a sharp bike man. Know anybody up here who can shoot it?These are digital photos that a sign painter friend of mine took. Thingsare going good. I had to drop out and be productive on my rails…I willbe contacting you soon about links and stuff. Haven’t done a thing on myKnuckle. Still just one guy.

–Tim Conder

HERE’S THE OFFICIAL CHINESE APOLOGY–(AP)Washington, D.C.The United States of America apologizes to the People’s Republic of Chinaforallowing our slow, lumbering reconnaissance plane to be hit by your poorlytrained, hot-dogging fighter pilot while flying in international airspace.

We’re sorry we have to fly surveillance missions to monitor a country thathasnuclear missiles pointed at us.We’re sorry your pilot didn’t follow international standards of fighterintercept protocol.We’re sorry his aircraft recognition skills were so poor he didn’t realizetheEP-3 aircraft was propeller driven and flew his aircraft through itspropellerarc, destroying his aircraft and nearly killing 24 American crewmen.

We’re sorry your fighter pilot’s survival training and equipment was soinadequate that he couldn’t survive until your poorly trained and equippednavycould find him. (They turned down our offer for search and rescueassistance.)

We’re sorry you violated international law and arrested the crewmen of anaircraft that legally diverted into your airfield under emergency conditionscaused by your pilot’s actions, after being led there by one of your otherpilots.

We’re sorry you violated international law and boarded a state aircraft.We’re sorry the world is now seeing you for the enemy of freedom, truth anddemocracy that you really are.

We’re sorry you see yourself as a superpower when in reality you are a thirdworld nation. (The average Chinese worker earns less than $.10 a day.)

We’re sorry you are losing so much face over this.We’re sorry that you were able to steal some missile and nuclear secretsfromus.

We’re sorry you haven’t learned from the Soviet Union’s collapse and failedtoembrace democracy and capitalism (compare tiny Taiwan and mainland China;samepeople, same culture, but Taiwan’s capitalistic economy is a powerhouse andChina’s economy is still mired in communism).

We’re sorry for the future Chinese military deaths that will occur when weretaliate for your roughish behavior.And most of all, we’re sorry for the Chinese people who suffer its leaders’incompetence.

–Rogue

P.S. If a speed boat goes out to inspect a cruise ship and they collide,who doyou think is at fault?

BIG TIME, FIRST TIME, ANNUAL EVENT!– Last year (2000) was the first year that Nebraska had a burn camp. This camp is to send burn victims (children) to a summer camp and all the logistical support necessary. St. Elizabeth Hospital in Lincoln, Neb., is our state’s burn center and the direct sponsor for the Nebraska Burn Camp. The camp was held in Burwell, Neb., last August. Sixchildren attended, ranging in age from 8 to 15 years.

The Wind and Fire Motorcycle Club (LINOMA) chapter is going to put on a poker run to raise money for the burn camp. The date for this event is July 7. Sign-ups are 9 a.m. to noon with escort. We are starting at two locations at the same time–the Lincoln and Omaha firefighter halls. The last stop will be at Linoma Beach. Cost is $8.50, including an all-you-can-eat buffet of ribs and chicken. Cash prizes and raffles will be drawn here. All bikes and bikers welcomed.

What is the Wind and Fire MC? My name is MC Flott and I am with the Omaha Fire Department and a Local 385 member. We are firefighters who own and ride Harley-Davidson motorcycles. Anyone who owns a Harley and is a firefighter may join.

The W&F MC Burn Camp Poker Run has been approved by the national W&F organization and St. Elizabeth?s hospital in Lincoln, Neb. Contact- mcflott@home.com.

–MC Flott

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