Biketoberfest shot from Roque.

Biketoberfest is a wrap, and we have the story thanks mostly to Rogue our Florida imbedded moto-journalist for over 30 years. We’re hitting the news hard this morning. We made a pre-dawn run to the Sacred Grounds for a pot of 92 Octane coffee. We dropped the blonde off on her favorite street corner and picked up parts for the Shrunken FXR.

We’re busting our asses on a killer tech that should roll onto the site before the end of the weekend. Then we’ll kick back with a shot of Whiskey and read holiday fiction that will curl the toes of your boots, cause you to sit on the edge of your barstool and keep an eye on the exit sign for a month.

Let’s get to the news:

Photo from Rogue.

BIKETOBERFEST ROLLS INTO THE SUNSET–DAYTONA BEACH — Chalk it up to crisp, fine weather or the mechanics of chance, but bikers lingered Sunday, bringing Biketoberfest to a slow close.Daytona Beach’s Main Street was packed this weekend as Biketoberfest 2003 enjoyed four days of mild temperatures and clear skies.

Few vendors, bar owners or hoteliers were complaining.At 5:30 in the evening, Main Street clothing stores were packed with last-day deal seekers, and the sidewalks were brimming.

“We had a lot more foot traffic than last year,” said Chicago resident Matt Norskoy, who was selling T-shirts under a tent at Oleander and Main.

At the Full Moon Saloon, where turkey drumsticks were still moving and beer tubs still “womanned,” executive Brian Romain said he had hoped to attract a younger crowd this year — and did.Romain, whose company also owns Dirty Harry’s across the street, brought in 12 bands for a broad mix of music. Though decibel meters had to be used all weekend to keep the volume within the city’s noise limits, the strategy attracted “a lot of younger riders on crotch rockets” in addition to the Harley-Davidson crowd.

Down south in Samsula, the band played on at Sopotnick’s Cabbage Patch Bar, where both the patrons and bikes tended to have more miles on them.

Scott Hall, the pianist for the Massachusetts-based Drunk Stuntmen, said during a break that the band had loved Biketoberfest, as usual, but were wiped out after four straight nights.”And sick of beer, and sick of weed,” he added, before being collected by fellow band members to go on a helicopter ride over Samsula.

“Business is possibly bigger than last year,” said Cabbage Patch owner Ron Luznar, walking barefoot through the tent city around the bar.

His friend One-Eyed Red, meanwhile, sat at the bar’s front door, enjoying the cool air and showing off copper roses he’d sculpted. Inside the bar was a realistic, if enormous, cabbage he’d fashioned from motorcycle fenders as a gift to Luznar.

Red said he thought the bike-week events could benefit from a stronger artistic presence in addition to the T-shirts. And that the crowd on Main Street in Daytona Beach was a little too green and rich for his taste.

The richer ones did fill the Adam’s Mark hotel to capacity — including the presidential suite with its grand piano, jumbo Jacuzzi and views from river to sea.

As for the size of the crowd overall, event organizers could only guess, but said it looked close to last year’s estimated 100,000 — despite the recent Harley-Davidson centennial in Milwaukee, which some feared would steal thunder from Biketoberfest.

–By VIRGINIA SMITH
Staff Writer, Daytona News Journal

–from Rogue

ALL NEW PAUGHCO WEBSITE–If you need old school frames, narrow or wide springer front ends, or parts for Pans and Knuckles, check the Paughco site. They are rocking with tradition. In fact, if you read our latest East Bay history, in the Cantina, the Paughco family was there in the beginning. Check it out.

Shot from Jill Z.

BIKERNET STUDY, FEMALE HORMONES IN BEER– Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take alook at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormonesin beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.

To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pintsof beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, becameoverly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing and refused to apologize when wrong. Nofurther testing is planned.

–from Chris T.

WOMEN IN THE WIND — When Jennifer Chaffin climbed off the back of her husband’s motorcycle and onto one of her own, she had no way of knowing how many women she would influence.

Now, 20 years later, the Edgewater grandmother joins women from across the country in celebrating a defining moment in their lives, when they take control of their destinies and move from the back of a motorcycle as members of Leather and Lace Women’s Motorcycle Club.

“I have completed my goal,” Chaffin said. “Giving women the freedom to ride a Harley.”

And that’s exactly what she’s doing with her “sisters” during Biketoberfest.Chaffin is the founder and president of the Edgewater-based club, which has about 200 members nationally. The sisters — as they call themselves — are tall and short, thin and hefty, tattooed and not, boisterous and shy. What they have in common is a twin-angel symbol of Lace they wear on their back, a feminine bond that stretches across the miles, and a fierce independence.

These women may ride next to their men on occasion, but they are individuals willing to stand up for themselves and each other, Chaffin said. They are not going to ride in the back of the pack and make the potato salad, she added.

But this respect did not come easily.”We started this because the men said we could not ride on our own,” club member Kat Shaw of Melbourne said, talking about the attitude some male motorcycle club members showed toward women riding on their own. “They would cut off our patches with knives.”

Lace members were not the first women to take the handlebars. Women have been riding since these two-wheeled steeds were invented.

Effie Hotchkiss rode from New York to San Francisco and back — her mother in a sidecar alongside — in 1915. And Dot Robinson started the Motor Maids in 1930s, the oldest women’s motorcycle organization in North America.

According to a 1998 survey by the Motorcycle Industry Council, a California-based industry trade group, 8.1 percent of motorcycle owners and 17 percent of operators are female.

The 1998 study also showed the median age of women riders is 38.5 years; they have a median income of $52,730 annually; most work in professional or managerial jobs and more hold college or post-college degrees than their male counterparts.

Harley-Davidson’s 2002 buyer demographics show 9 percent of its customers are women.

Genevieve Schmidt, editor of Woman Rider Magazine, said women are the fastest growing segment of the motorcycle market, an explosion that started in the mid-1990s.”Women came into their own in our society, such as owning their own businesses,” she said. “Motorcycles are a way of expressing their self-confidence and self-esteem. Women are also seeing more women on bikes and saying to themselves, ‘If she can do that, so can I.’ “

–By MARK I. JOHNSON
Staff Writer, Daytona News Journal

–from Rogue

HORSE PROJECT EGO–We would love to see Geno’s new chopper, but he only sent a shot of his tank with the HORSE magazine partner’s name pinstriped onto the top. So what about the rest of the flaming machine? What gives? Suppose we must run out and steal the next issue off the newsstand? We’re waiting for answers.

BIKERNET HALLOWEEN PARTY– A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloweenparty. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband togo tothe party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, aftersleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as itwas still early, decided to go to the party. As her husband didn’t know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice “chick” he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left hisnew partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.After more drinks he finally he whispered a little proposition in herear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and hadpassionate intercourse in the back seat.

Just before unmasking atmidnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away andgot into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up forhis outrageous behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.

“Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’renot there.”

Then she asked,”Did you dance much?”

He replied, “I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we wentinto the spare room and played poker all evening.”

“You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing pokerall night!” she said with unashamed sarcasm.

To which the husband replied, “Actually, I gave my costume toyour Dad, apparently he had the time of his life.”

–Rogue

Old shot from Bob T.

COPS ROLL INTO BIKETOBERFEST– “Thefts of motorcycles is our biggest issue during Biktoberfest,” said Detective Mark Cheatham. “We use the bicycles because we have better mobility to get around the crowds. It’s much easier than cruising around in a car.”

The three detectives and two bicycle unit officers who make up the Biketoberfest detail said they mainly weave in and out on their mountain bikes among the pedestrians that clog the sidewalks. Their main objective is watching for anyone who is acting furtively around a motorcycle.

“You can tell who’s acting funny around a bike,” Quartier said. “Most of these bikes are pretty expensive.”

The crowds were thick Friday on Ridgewood Avenue in front of the Highlander Restaurant just south of the Police Department. Dozens of white tents crammed the sidewalks as merchants hawked everything from motorcycle parts to leather halter tops. They contrasted sharply with the moving sea of black leather and chrome.

–By LYDA LONGA
Staff Writer, Daytona News Journal

–from Rogue

Continued On Page 2

On to Part Two…

The Project Crew List

The Project Crew List

This bike represents one of the many reasons I love motorcycles. Scooters have stood beside me through jobs, five marriages and various relationships that thankfully didn’t result in more weddings. There comes tough-as-broken-spokes-times during relationship hell that a man needs all his faculties and all the positive influences the biker world can afford him. This scooter carried me through one of those eras.

I fell in love, head over heals, for a women with loose hinges, mental instability and great tits. I was lost in a black hole of infatuation with an evil being. My draw was stronger than heroin to an addict. I fought it night and day, usually unsuccessfully. I worked as hard as my fleeting concentration would allow. I hit the gym harder and tried to focus on other women including my lovely ex who I abandoned. I failed miserably.

In the center of this fiery hell a call came from Randy Simpson of Milwaukee Iron. “I have just the thing you need,” Randy told me, “but you have to hang on while we restore it.” Those words twisted inside me.

I’m not sure my mind and vocal cords were connected, but in a deeper sense I believed that Randy understood my tsunami pain. His business had grown quickly, and we spoke almost weekly about the industry and his own expanding-enterprise woes. During a rough winter the snow piled so high on his building that the roof collapsed. Talk about a single motion that can knock an man’s lifestyle to its knees.

Randy recognized the wavering tone of my distant voice from Lynchburg, Virginia to Los Angeles and understood a deeper motorcycle related need. He purchased this running flat track racer complete in ’83 from Rick Allen and Ed Rich from Asheboro, North Carolina. It lacked only basic fasteners and the original clutch pack. Weekly Randy reported on restoration progress and the sheet metal paint scheme which was sent to Dawn Holmes in Prescott, Arizona. At that point I planned to escaped the inner city and hide in a small condo on the edge of town.

Each time the phone rang Randy’s hopeful tone momentarily released me from a lover’s doldrums. I sensed that he was taking a mental dip-stick to my heart in addition to accounting for the bike. I perceived in my mind that I would overcome this affliction. I knew that I was not alone, that men and women all over the globe were facing heartbreaks. Weekly, in the news, the terror of relationships-gone-wrong splashed across headlines. Recently a man attempted to kill all four of his kids to express his rage over a woman. I prayed I wouldn’t stoop to anything foolish or destructive. I told my brothers, fleeing from terrible break-ups, that there’s another woman with the touch, beauty and heart to erase your pain. During the onslaught of emotional terror, it’s hard to imagine.

During a weekly check-up, Randy explained that most reconstructions, especially race bikes, begin with frame straightening. Milwaukee Iron houses a rare, original, precise chassis table for just such chores. After stripping the bike, frame truing came first. Milwaukee Iron trues and modifies frames constantly

I couldn’t concentrate on the technical aspects of the renovation. A brother recently stared at me across a table and pointed out examples of men, in the industry, who destroyed their businesses and lives through break-ups. The community property law can cut a company so fast it never recovers. Even more importantly, it often slits a man’s ambitious drive like a 16-penny nail through a tire at 100 mph. When deflated some guys can’t reach the can of Fix-O-Flat. Life is wild.

One week while Randy was taking my temperature he told me that Rick and Ed developed a Harley Museum in Asheboro called American Classic with 36 notable Harley-Davidsons and assorted memorabilia. He actually told me the address at 1170 US Highway 64 West, but I lost it (I had to call information). The number is (336) 629-9564.

When that ’39 WLDR was delivered I was moving into my stucco cave on the outskirts of society. I lived upstairs and a neighborhood kid and I struggled to haul that little 45 cubic inch flat track racer to the top of the stairs. I surrounded myself with motorcycle art, memorabilia and that ’39 WLDR. I looked at it from day to day and told myself that this classic would feel no pain even if my heart was crumbling. The quality of the Dawn Holmes intricate paint scheme wouldn’t change. The frame wouldn’t rust but remain strong and resilient, always a solid quality example of motorcycling history.

That motorcycle is still with me, remaining an inspiration, still looking as good as the day she rolled off the truck. It’s a constant reminder that as human beings we can bust up our own lives, partnerships, and relationships. We destroy or build, it’s our choice. Randy proved to me that while I was fumbling inside, he was creating new products, rebuilding his shop and had the time to restore this classic on the side, in 120 hours. He reminded me of the essence of friendship and the quality of accomplishment.

Remember brothers and sisters, when life is bleakest, there are the fine lines of a custom or antique motorcycle to releash and the open road recalling pure freedom. At our grease-stained fingertips is the constant opportunity to attain distinction and the hardened steel drive to reach the next brilliant achievement.

Dust your down-trodden-self off and hit the road. Thanks Randy.

–Bandit

My third cup of Saturday mornin’ coffee had yet to eat its waythrough my stomach lining when I rolled out in search of Larry Beintker andhis notorious Evo chopper. I’d seen this incredible scoot at the FresnoAutorama, but didn’t get to talk with Larry about the beast. Now was mychance to see it off the rotating platform, and away from the garish neonlights, and to find out a bit about what makes it tick.

First, I learned a bit about Larry from a mutual friend; Bobby Z.,of Final Finishes metal polishing. Seems that Larry’s been buildin’beautiful scooters for years but managed to stay outa the spotlight, unlikesome of his ol’ drinkin’ buddies like Arlen Ness. Larry has some storiesabout the wild times of the ‘sixties and ‘seventies, when he, Arlen, and afew others were buildin’ those radical block-long choppers, an’ partyin’like there was no tomorrow. That’s fodder for another wild tale. Right now,let’s take a look at this yella man-eater!

When I got to Larry’s shop, he’d already rolled the scooter out, andwiped it down. We decided on a place for some pictures, and it was time tomove out. He thumbed the starter button, and when that monster lit, it madethe hair on my ass stand straight up like a bristle- brush! Damn! What abeautiful soundin’ sumbitch! You could feel the horsepower rumble up throughyour feet when he twisted the wick. My ol’ amigo “High Speed” Howard Lacydid the final tuning and setup, and believe me, he’s the best in thebusiness! Hell, his lawn mower runs in the low 9s!

While it warmed up, I looked it over like Bill Clinton interviewin’a new intern.Larry had already told me that he was responsible for the wild paint, withits narrow scallops, and bright accents. It began dark at the bottom of theC.M.C. frame, and faded as it moved up, for a shadow effect that playstricks on your eyes. The slippery lines of the fuel tank, made byIndependent, out of Vegas, make the graphics look like they may slide rightoff at any second. I think it’s only the eye-poppin’ stripes laid on by Dale”Sogy” Oftedal that keep ’em in place.

The wide rear fender is a Jesse James product, and it blends into the flow of thescoot without any supports to get in the way. It’s a real elegant way tokeep mud offa your T-shirt.

The 88 inch Evo engine has S&S cases, and Screamin’ Eagle heads, ported andmassaged by Leo at Direct Parts in Vegas. The trick heads breathe throughCustom Chrome shorty straights for an eardrum shatterin’ bark.An S&S “shorty” feeds the thirsty mill, and the horses are transferred by a3″ Primo open belt primary to a Rev Tech 5 speed tranny.The wheels are from Custom Chrome, and the tires from Avon, although therear looks like it could’ve come off a 747.

Watchin’ this man-eater rippin’ down the street, it occurred to me that whenyou’ve got the kind of “giddy-up” this thing has, you damn sure need a lotta”whoa” too, so the stoppin’ power is handled by Performance Machinecalipers, master cylinders, and rotors.

The classy front end is made by Sullivan, and the clean lines will have yatakin’ a second look, and maybe a third. This thing’s first class eye-candyfrom end to end!

Joker Machine made the forward controls, and they’re damn near too pretty toput yer nasty ol’ feet on, but Larry built this scoot to ride, and ride hedoes! Of course, the polishin’ of all those glistenin’ parts was handled byfriend, and fellow biker Bobby Z, of Final Finishes. Who else?Speakin’ of ridin’, that’s where comfort comes in. Larry hand made the seatto fit the lines of the bike as well as his ass, and the upholstery choreswere handled by none other than Leon Hatcher. There’s enough paddin’ to takethe sting outa this high-torque asshammer, but not enough to make ya forgetwhat kinda machine you’re ridin. And after all, this ain’t no F’in RoadKing, it’s a hot-rod for the serious adrenaline junky only!

By the way, if this scoot really talks to ya, Larry says it’s for sale. Hisnext project is already under way, and there’s no time like the present tostart on the future. If you’re seriously interested, drop Bandit a line, andhe’ll give ya my e-mail address, but first, I’ll answer a couple ofquestions I know you’ll have.

1: YES, IT GOES FAST!
2: NO, YA CAN’T RIDE IT TILL YA BUY IT.
3: NO, HE WON’T TAKE YOUR SPORTY IN TRADE.
4: YES, WOMEN WILL EVEN LOVE YOU IF YOU’RE RIDIN’ IT.

So take a few minutes, look over the pictures, think about what it’d be likeridin around on this beauty, then sneak the ol’ lady’s weddin’ ring down tothe pawn shop, an’ go for it!

	On a toasty Sunday afternoon, I was called from my tiny digs in the sizzling valley to the salt air breezes on the coast by a petite blonde with a hankerin’ for sun-settin’ delights before and after dinner. I couldn’t resist and with only a T-shirt and a vest on, I hit the road over Malibu Canyon to the Pacific Coast. As I passed traffic, the sun began to duck behind one jagged mountain crest after another and the shadows brought on a warning chill. I knew what lay ahead, the refreshing onshore breeze, the chilly evening mist, and the downright cold evening dew. That’s when I started thinking about the lean FXR I was riding at the time.
It didn’t want to mar the scalloped side panels with saddlebags, strap a tool bag to the motormount, wind bungee cords around my handlebars, or make a dresser out of the high-bar FXR. I thought about the Old West and the bedrolls the cowboys used to carry their shit, and it came to me. Something over the headlight, as long as it wasn’t too heavy, could do the trick. The bike would maintain its nasty profile, I could still pack someone on the back, and carry my shit. As I wound through the canyon, my mind went to work on the bedroll concept. Could it carry all I wanted to pack? I thought about the last time I took a weekend run. I had grabbed a promotional cordura bag, packed some clothes and a ditty bag in it and strapped it to my front end. That was it, a hollow, durable cordura bag with pockets on the ends for keys, maps, padlocks, chapstick, nuts and bolts, and rubbers, perhaps not in that order. Another question smacked me as I rounded another corner and caught a glimpse of the Pacific lapping the Malibu shores in the distance. What about a tool bag? I always like to carry tools, at least a set of Allens, a role of electrical tape and a crescent wrench. I almost forgot a set of spark plugs and a socket for ’em. Then it hit me-I could form a flap over the center of the bag and line it with elastic straps to hold tools. The flap itself would contain a pocket for small tools, tie wraps, wire, electrical tape, plugs, and my Allen set. Done deal. I almost turned around and went back to my humble abode to make notes, but the salt air was already filling my nostrils, and the notion of her naked form lying on a bed overlooking the splashing wave-lined beach was too much of a lure to turn back. -Bandit
This shot shows about how much a Dayroll will carry. The original Bandit’s Bedroll is approx. 2 feet longer for weekend getaways. I can easily pack for a weekend run and carry my ditty bag in the longer version.
	The bag was originally designed with an elaborate set of straps to hold it in place. We discovered after many miles on the road that the easiest way to securely fasten it to the bars was with a set of tie wraps. There’s also a center loop behind the bag to secure it down from blowing up in a gust, or working from side to side. If when you reach your destination, you want to remove the bags, simply cut the tie wraps off (if you cut ’em off behind the head, they can be reused), and replace them with new ones when you leave. Tie wraps also act as security.
The bag is designed to be taken off the bike whenever or worked with while in place. The easily accessible end pockets are great for padlocks, keys, bungee cords, smokes, a lighter, chapstick, anything you may need to get at quick.
	The center of the bag can hold a light jacket, sweatshirt, your girlfriend’s purse, a flashlight, etc. The dayroll was designed so you can throw in a sweatshirt and a light jacket to be prepared for those times when the cold snaps at your back. If the weather gets more severe in your area, the bungee cords are always in the side pockets. The bag makes a perfect platform to bungee a heavy jacket to avoid damage to your chrome and so jagged edges won’t cut your $500 jacket.
This is my favorite part and I learned more about it on the way to Sturgis last year. This heavy-duty flap rolls over the center of the bag. Unzipped, it becomes a totally accessible tool box at your fingertips. You don’t need to remove the bag and spill tools all over the hot asphalt or crawl around on your knees. Here’s a tip, though: I discovered last year that what a man really needs to take along on a long trip is a set of sockets and a ratchet with a couple of extensions. Combine that with a handful of common, open-end wrenches and you’ll have it made.

Bandit’s Dayroll is available for purchase in Bandit’s Gift Shop

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Bandit’s Sturgis ’97 is sponsored by Click on the images to visit Jesse’s website…

www.westcoastchoppers.com

A Complete Line Of Hand Made 18-gauge Steel Fenders For Ordering Information, See Your Local Dealer or call (562) 983-6666 …tell ’em you saw it on BikerNet…

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For the last three years I’ve ridden to Sturgis. Last year it was on a Hi-Tech Custom Cycles slammed dresser with Ron Simms bags that ground at the canyons, Arlen Ness panels, and a Crane cam. My riding partners were Mark Lonsdale, a 6-foot-2, 240-pound weapons expert, stuntman, and close quarters combat trainer, and Myron Larrabee, one-time Mr. Arizona, retired Dirty Dozen, and owner of two World Gyms and the Scottsdale Easyriders store. We hauled the long way over small isolated highways and through modest towns until we hooked up with 25 Hamsters in Casper, Wyoming. All along the route we talked of bikes, the dressers we rode, and custom scoots. Ultimately the challenge was laid on the polished oak bartop in some long forgotten saloon: “Could we build choppers and be just as comfortable?” The answer was a resounding, “Fuck yeah.”

All the way along the Continental Divide and across Wyoming we envisioned what these machines would look like, and what amenities they would contain. Not so much for Myron, who seemed content with 14-inch apes and a bagged Road King that was hopped up and detailed to the max, but with my 6-foot-5, 235-pound frame and reach, and Mark’s equally large size, we dwarf most machines. We needed long bikes. So while in Sturgis we sought the advice of the masters of long machines, Brook and Pat Kennedy. Both Mark and I are bonkers over their frames and style, but they don’t build a rubbermount chassis. For touring that was determined to be a must. But for me, their front end with the adjustable rake, long wide glide was the perfect solution for the road. Plus, in addition to being able to adjust rake, trail, and chassis height, the front end offers a multitude of damper adjustments for ridability. That aspect offered additional flexibility for the touring Chopper rider.

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I was beginning to like hanging out in the shop, shooting the shit, and being creative, but the pressure was incessant.

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The concept was launched to build a stretched, big-man Touring Chopper. But first we had invested in the dressers and needed to adjust financially to have the wherewithal to build such a beast. I sold my dresser to Mike Osborn, the editor of Quick Throttle, and Mark got a job working on a Mickey Rourke movie in Texas with Chuck Zito, a New York Hells Angel Nomad. We had our nest eggs. Not to be outdone, Myron began a complete ground-up custom rubbermounted Softail. But from this point on, so I don’t get so fucking confused dealing with all these machines that I lose it, we’ll stay focused on Mark’s modified FXR and my ground-up.

Since the entire build-up has been covered either in Easyriders , with the coverage of the Jesse James steel bags and the Kennedy front end articles, in VQ, with the original concept in the April, ’97 issue, a soon-to-be- published-update in VQ #18, and a full feature in VQ#19, and, finally, the complete fabrication from day one on Bandit’s Bikernet update, I’m going to jump to mid July ’97, almost a year later.

It was the last week before we were scheduled to leave for the Badlands. With less than a week to go we had a polished Draggin’ Coaster 98-inch, predominately S&S stroker with STD heads, a JIMS close-ratio 5-speed Dyna Glide transmission with a Rivera hydraulic clutch actuator and Rivera Brute III primary clutch and belt drive, the Kennedy front end, and a couple of Kennedy 80-spoke wheels. The rest of the creative sheet metal work by Jesse James, plus the modified Paughco frame, and the Battistini’s gas tanks were at Damon’s Custom Paint being sprayed Damon’s red. Jesse’s handmade exhaust system, bumper, and miscellaneous parts were in some tank at South Bay Chrome and a box fulla Hurst controls, Custom Cycle Engineering risers, a Headwinds headlight, Accel electric components, and P.M. brakes waited while I cajoled on the phone.

The answer: “Hey, Bandit, we’d like to help you out, but Jesse just gave us this shit an hour ago.” I leaned on ’em anyway. The paint arrived Monday and Pat Powers, Jesse’s main mechanic, had the engine and tranny in the frame before noon. Tuesday morning I set the alarm for 4:30 and was in my truck by 5 a.m., heading for Paramount and West Coast Choppers. A shipment of Diamond fasteners had arrived, and we were hot to trot. We installed the front end, the rear fender and struts, and the rear wheel, after changing the tire twice and the oil lines when Jesse wasn’t looking. Courtney from Hot Bike even spent a couple of hours tinkering in the early evening. At 10 p.m. that night we left the shop, fried, and went to Fritz, a madhouse tittie bar 2 miles away, to unwind. Three Jack Daniel’s went down like buttermints melt on your tongue during the holidays. I had to face more deadlines the next day and took my leave at midnight.

Wednesday, Pat arrived at the shop at O dark thirty and wired the beast. The day before, after I ran oil lines, I made constant parts runs to L.A. Harley. Performance Machine, which is only blocks away, supplied parts via my daughter, Faith, who is working there. Wednesday, with Jesse’s instructions and confidence, ’cause he was too hungover to make it to work the next day (he kids us about being old-timers), encouraged me to hire photog Markus Cuff to come to Jesse’s industrial park facility, set up a studio, hire a make-up artist and a model, and prepare for the photo sessions of sessions.

Friday morning I got the 4:30 wake-up call again and hit the road. We had planned to ride out on Monday, but at this point I called Mark and told him that our luxury-day card had to be turned in. We needed to leave Tuesday. He agreed and informed Myron in Phoenix. The clock was ticking as we swarmed the red beast and worked tirelessly from 5:30 a.m. till noon, when Markus arrived and began wandering around checking ridiculous shit like circuit breakers and lighting. We decided to stick him as far from the action as possible and moved his operation to the back, where Jesse’s crew makes his line of fenders, while up front the man creates and builds motorcycles. I was beginning to like hanging out in the shop, shooting the shit, and being creative, but the pressure was incessant. With every joke there was a question, “Did the brake bracket arrive?” “Did Eric get back with those fasteners?” “When can we make the hydraulic brake lines?”

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…we found out later that Trina, the make-up artist, had to apply body make-up to our dominatrix’s ass to cover last night’s whip marks.

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By three in the afternoon the model, Dita, was there, and looking fine. Her thing is looking vamp. She’s into bondage routines, although her demeanor was as soft as a kitten. She’s corset trained, has a 16-inch waist, and can draw it to a spinning 13 inches. In the midst of bolting on the pipes she wandered into the shop, almost naked, to ask me what outfit would work. Everything stopped. At that point, I wanted to fist-fuck her and send her down the road, but the sultry make-up queen stood alongside her with her hands firmly implanted on her hips, like some dark mistress, and glared at us until we succumbed to her will and responded accordingly. As the afternoon sun waned Markus was recruiting valuable manpower into his dank surroundings and ordering them to move motorcycles and equipment and set up lights.

On top of Sturgis, making the damn thing run, and enduring a six-hour photo shoot, Sunday was the date for the annual Mikuni Bike Show. Jesse planned to have a considerable display designed, polished, and implanted on the grounds of the Santa Monica Airport to show off his wares to the 10,000 SoCal attendees. Holy shit! We broke out the beer as we pulled the completed Touring Chopper off Jesse’s handmade lift and attempted to fire it. Even with the plugs pulled, the new Predator battery wouldn’t turn it more than a couple of revolutions. It was 4:45; Custom Chrome would be closed in 10 minutes. According to the Predator experts, these batteries have a five-year shelf life and should never be charged. What the hell were we supposed to do with it? Besides, we had mounted the dry cell on its side and we couldn’t replace it with a conventional battery. I called Dan Stern. He wasn’t in his office. I left a message. We were fucked. At five minutes to 5 p.m. Dan returned the call and concurred-the battery should be fine. Another one was sent overnight. One more minute and no battery.

We put the charger on the existing one and went onto other operations. Danny Gray had come across with a seat that fit like a glove. We hauled ass to the hardware store for strips of Velcro and attached the seat pan, which Pat and Jesse had made out of heated ABS plastic, cut, and sent to Danny. The make-up girl was beginning to pace the concrete. “Are you ready?” she asked. The battery charger took a shit, and we had to rustle-up another one. It worked. Since it was Friday night, Jesse’s buddies were beginning to arrive with chilled six-packs and a party mood. Progress slowed, and burnouts commenced in the street. Jesse traded an early Sturgis model Shovel for a slammed ’59 Byscane with hydraulic lifts and started giving the guys three wheeled rides. My video crew arrived about that time and decided to interview Jesse and me. Fuck, didn’t we have enough to do?

Imagine the scene. Markus Cuff, his assistant, and 5,000 watts of power pack were exploding against a seamless background in the back, while welders, grinders, drill presses, and wrenches were flying in the front. One office was boarded up so the bondage queen and the make-up artist could fondle each other in solitude. As a side note, we found out later that Trina, the make-up artist, had to apply body make-up to our dominatrix’s ass to cover last night’s whip marks.

Our video producer took the other office apart, setting up lights and beta cam, then strolled into the midst of trying to finish this masterpiece and announced in his usual dour manner that everyone had to be quiet while he interviewed Jesse, then me. The crew laughed and opened another beer.

Halfway through my interview, Pat Powers fired the bike. All 98 inches ran as smooth as polished crystal while he let it warm and adjusted the carb. The short, turned-out, and baffled drag pipes slapped the walls of the office and gradually drowned out anything I could have attempted to say. Besides, I quickly lost my desire to describe the odyssey we were still in the midst of and wanted to get closer to the bike. As I left the office, Jesse was rolling the bike under his steel roll-up door and heading into the street. He rode it up and down the wide industrial street, I did the same and so did Mark. Dale Gorman, the 6-foot-2, 250-pound, East Coast arm wrestling champion, had just flown from Buzzard’s Bay on Cape Cod to ride with us. He was already knee deep in wrenches helping, ’cause that’s the kind of guy he is.

We stood by as Jesse took another trial run, in awe that it had come this far, performin’ as if it had just run off the assembly line. There was little, if anything, about this motorcycle that was stock or relatively common. The frame was innovative, the engine pushed, the front end mildly radical, and the suspension completely off-the-wall (Jesse had moved the shock position 15 degrees to align the shocks with the line of the frame). Nothing about this bike was tried and true, but it seemed to be acting as if it were. Only one job was left unfinished at that point, detailing. Jesse called his man and a van pulled up in front of his joint. One quiet kid worked endlessly polishing, while his acerbic boss bitched and moaned about everything while doing his part. No more time to adjust and test. The fragile paper back drop, tense video cameraman, edgy photographer, tightly wrapped model, and protective make-up artist were waiting.

First we shot details of the bike in the back of the shop. Dale and Jesse assisted in moving the long bike onto and off the paper-white background. Footprints, oily hands, and tire marks were prohibited. We laid out old blankets and rolled the bike onto the backdrop over the protective material while standing on the soiled material. We then carefully folded and maneuvered the make-shift rugs from under the tires, while the photographer directed. Two hours later we were ready for the girl. I had to admit she looked good enough to … But being a professional with a couple of beers under my belt and another four hours of work ahead of me, I steered clear of trouble and certain rejection. We strapped on a strong, unrelenting 20 hours that day.

One product of a six-hour photo shoot: Dita and “The Redhead”

At 8:30 the next morning I picked up Mark and Dale at Mark’s Santa Monica pad and we worked and strained back and biceps at Gold’s Gym before heading back to Paramount. The shop was clean, the bike warmed and dialed and the cascade of beer cans showered around the joint the night before were mysteriously gone. We spent the better part of the day dialing, fixing, and making things fit better. Jesse called in a local upholsterer who lined the inside of the bags. Mid-afternoon, with Dale following me in my truck, I filled her up with gas and headed for the freeway. It was 45 miles home-almost 45 miles of the most congested traffic in Southern California. If the bike were to stumble and fall anywhere between the predominantly Hispanic, industrial city of Paramount and the war zone of downtown, to the teenage traffic rolling out of Santa Monica into the inner city, I would have been summarily run over by several thousand Saturday drivers and tourists.

Cautiously pulling onto the 105 freeway I changed into the number three lane. As the front 21 crossed into the number two lane, the bike jolted. I hit something. Quickly assessing the pain to the chassis I glanced behind me to investigate-nothing, except 400 drunken motorist and a semi with a flat barreling down on me as if I were the starting flag at the Indianapolis 500. I twisted the wick and continued. The bike felt good in my grip. It centered itself and sensed all was right in the lane. I let go of the bars and it tracked straight. I moved around in the lane to test for a loose front end, wheel bearings, or misalignment-nothing. It seemed to take to the road like a duck to a pond or a salmon to the mouth of a river. But when I changed lanes again, pop! It happened again.

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It’s one thing to split lanes during rush hour, with thousands of veteran commuters around you, but to split lanes on a Saturday, with thousands of tourists, inexperienced, nervous yahoos who generally avoid freeways, and folks fulla margaritas flanking you, is suicidal.

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I changed lanes again and noticed this time that something under the bike was catching the kickstand. Traffic backed up as I realized something on the frame-mounted kickstand was popping the reflectors on the freeway. The bike was definitely too low, but I was about to receive acid test number 2-slow traffic. Suddenly, I was splitting lanes on a bike with a new clutch … and my first hydraulic hand clutch, at that. The pull was positive, but hard. Leery of hydraulic shit that might leak or might not be completely bled, I relied on my faith in Jesse’s assistant, Eric, who handmade each line. Terror energized my spine at the thought that the bike was so low I might tear off the clutch line going over the next reflector. Avoiding changing lanes, I had to split Dodger Stadium traffic through the downtown interchange to reach the Hollywood freeway.

Praying that the clutch wouldn’t give out, I turned the throttle while bouncing between vehicles. It’s one thing to split lanes during rush hour, with thousands of veteran commuters around you, but to split lanes on a Saturday, with thousands of tourists, inexperienced, nervous yahoos who generally avoid freeways, and folks fulla margaritas flanking you, is suicidal. The scooter held firm at slow speeds, and the brilliant red and chrome held onlookers at bay. Then I leaned into my first turn. Everything scraped-the bags, the frame, and the kickstand. Momentarily, the bike was on one wheel. Lesson number three: Watch for ground clearance before beating a cage in the turn.

Miraculously, I made it to my pad and immediately called Jesse. Dale and I quickly loosened the front end and lessened the rake, creating more ground clearance. Two clicks and we raised the frame an inch. The kickstand had been bent with Jesse’s torch on Friday night. Now it needed rebending to align it with the frame. We did it. Checking over the bike I discovered that a fender-strut bolt was catching the tire. Earlier, when we’d pulled the engine over with the hiem joint on the top motormount, we’d over compensated. Now I had to move it back, or risk blowing the tire out over the next 50 miles.

The next morning I had to meet my bros in Santa Monica at 8 a.m. to make it to the famous Mikuni Show by 9. I was up and checking over the bike at 7 a.m. By the time I reached Mark’s pad, I already knew the bike needed to be raised more. We made it to the show on time. Jesse was there with a new booth, flyers, and more bikes, including one they’d finished between Friday afternoon and Saturday evening. I was impressed, and my bike drew crowds.

Let’s go back to Dale for a moment and fill in the picture. Dale rode a flamed dresser from New England to Sturgis a couple of years ago, then rode onto L.A. He spent some time out here, trying to break into the stunt business, but ran out of cash and had to return to Massachusetts to paint hockey sticks with his partner Jeff. He left the flamed dresser, with sidecar attached, at Glendale Harley, hoping to sell it. It never sold, so when he decided to ride to Sturgis ’97 with us, I called Oliver’s men at Glendale and asked them to service the bike and disconnect the sidecar. Dale flew into LAX, and Mark picked ‘im up and took him to Glendale, where he picked up his flamed-out touring ride and was ready to go.

Now, let’s bring you up to date on Mark’s bike. When he returned from Sturgis last year, he looked around his garage and saw his blacked-out dresser, his custom Pro Street (recently featured in the July ’97 issue of Easyriders ), and an ’89 FXR, mostly black and raked. Two years ago he rode it to Sturgis and back the direct route-22 hours and a handful of gas stops and he was home … no sleep, no breaks, just straight riding. Based on my premise of a street touring chopper, he decided to stretch the frame, extend the wide glide to 12-over, and make his reliable FXR into a Touring Chopper. Jesse performed the frame modification, and Mark did the rest-extending the front end, changing his risers to Custom Cycle Engineering dog bones, finding and attaching a new gas tank, having Bartels’ H-D perform their formula street fast head work on the bike, extending the cables, chroming his tried and true Performance Machine forward controls, etc. He basically left the bike black except to have the engine heads polished and powdercoated Hamster gold between the fins. Then he put a golden rod and red graphic on the tank and continued it to the side panels. When complete, the bike fit him like a glove and was done in time for a test run to Hollister. It ran like a dream. All right, so now you know that the two bikes beside me were basically black, with some Hamster touches.

All right, so now we can get back to the tense action. Keep in mind that while we looked at the myriad of flashy custom bikes at the Mikuni show I still had only 65 miles on this puppy, and I needed to jack it up off the ground some more. I hardly had enough miles on it to confidently say the charging system was working, or that the sketchy battery would not fail, or that the engine would hang together, or a number of other questions. We split from the show early, and I headed home to tweak and begin to think about packing. I was determined to pack only in Jesse’s steel bags and not even run one of my famous, convenient bedrolls. I managed by stuffing my day roll with tools and putting it in the right bag, along with my camera, cell phone, tennis shoes, and a quart of oil. In the other bag fit my ditty bag, a small bag of underwear, socks, bandannas, workout shorts, and two folded dress shirts. At the last minute I determined that I could not carry a spare pair of Levi’s and I’d be forced to buy another pair on the road. That was a mistake.

Monday, I rode the bike to the Easyriders Garage and worked the entire day. The staff went crazy over the bike and it seemed to ride and function fine. By the time I got home, I had almost a hundred miles on the clock. I changed the oil and inspected it for wear particles. Everything seemed in line and a go. I didn’t get to sleep till midnight, and the alarm was set to take my ear off at 4 a.m. It came too soon, and I got my sorry ass out of bed and made coffee, checked final packing, and pulled the bike into the street. One hundred miles of fresh paint, polished aluminum, and chrome was ready-or so I thought-for the trek to the Badlands.

– End of Part One –

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