I used to feel like I didn’t know Schit. And now that I know Schit, my life is SO much more enriched! Jack Schit that is, and our host for Arizona Bike Week! And if you ever feel like you don’t know schit, you should check Jack out. He is THE biker comedian and host of places like the Broken Spoke in Sturgis, and The Dirty Dog Saloon at Arizona Bike Week. Jack can pack a room full of people and keep them laughing and constantly entertained. Staying at his sprawled out ranch style pool home in Mesa Arizona was no exception! Jack and his high school sweetheart and wife Diane already share their home with two blue healers and a gray parrot, but for bike week they put up me and my boyfriend Mark, my pals Qian and Masyn, and a revolving door of visitors like Bean’re and Lola, Teach and his beautiful wife Amy, not to mention guys needing to borrow trailers to rescue their broken down choppers.

Having just moved to the Colorado Rockies this year, I couldn’t wait to ride some of my favorite roads once the snow started melting! I figured Arizona Bike Week would be the perfect season opener, and planned an excursion from our Hacienda Hideaway thru the red rock mountains of Utah, and down to where the sun always shines! My longtime friend Genevieve has lived out in Montana for years now, and she warned me that it might not be springtime yet, but we remained hopeful until the end. On the morning we were going to leave, the snow flurries deterred us, and we were forced to trailer our bikes thru Utah and near the border we pulled into a familiar place we stayed filming “Motorcycle Women” for the Discovery Channel.

When we woke up the next day, the sun was shining and the weather looked promising. So we unloaded our bikes and left our trailers in Mexican Hat. We took off down my favorite lonely highway thru Monument Valley, and stopped to enjoy the views and have photo ops in the same place where nearly ten years ago helicopters flew over us six girls filming that first show. They had us go back and forth, and back and forth a dozen times on that picture perfect stretch of highway. I think we had about twenty minutes of riding perfection before we realized that the temperature in Monument Valley was only about 38 degrees, and by the time we reached Kayenta, less than an hour down the road, we were wearing every piece of clothing we brought, including rain pants and riding in my Ugg boots!

By the time we got to Jack’s place in Mesa we were happy to feel the late day sun still warming the whole valley. Life within the compound of Jacks walls runs well into the night. He closes down the bar, and usually has an entourage following him afterward. Even a girl that tries to get to bed early cannot sleep thru the story telling and laughter that goes on into the wee hours. So mornings begin slowly at the Schit Zoo……or as slowly as you can stretch them……….thru the variety of noises the bird can emulate! Like the dead battery of a smoke detector, the telephone ringing, or “Hey Jack!”……….
Until he actually woke Jack up, and then you’d hear a variety of mumbling as Jack tried to talk the parrot into going back to sleep!

Arizona Bike Week has its strong and weak points. First of all, the Phoenix/Scottsdale/Mesa area is large and spread out, and its freeways are crowded and it’s HOT! I don’t go to a bike rally to fight traffic. I go to get away from it. There are obviously spectacular day rides in all directions, but the event location itself was chaotic and your friends are spread all out over the city, and connecting becomes a hassle. The admission price into the event was $40 for the week. Which if you were planning to attend everyday, and go to the daily concerts it might be a bargain. But if you are like us, and wanted to spend the bulk of the time riding with your friends, $40 seemed like a lot to pay for a few hours to walk around and check out the venue. But we decided it was worth it to see my friend, the always-awesome Jasmine Cain, and visit Diva Amy’s bedazzled booth, and pow wow with my Hoka Hey pals at their tee pee. The event was just starting to pick up as the sun was setting and Heart was preparing to take the stage.

We spent our days poking thru near by ghost towns and local hot spots. We interfered while watching gunfights, locked each other in outhouses, and we all got hung for misbehaving among outlaws.

We rode through local desert and mountain back roads that our host suggested. I wanted hairpin turns and we found them! We rode past crystal blue lakes and stopped for lunch in a local hot spot called Tortilla Flats. We only had one minor break down. Qian’s bike apparently experienced some type of spontaneous combustion in the wiring of her controls. But by the time I even figured out that she was not behind me, four guys had come to the rescue and taped the wires back together and sent her on her way. There are benefits to being a woman rider! Every night we watched a red sky desert sunset that was breath-taking.

By night we were Dirty Dogs until the wee hours, although I did sneak out to Cave Creek one night to have dinner at a cowboy saloon with my mom and her husband Marshall who drove up from Green Valley, Arizona to spend some time with us. My mom still tries to pretend that I don’t have a motorcycle, so please keep my secret! She just thinks I dress weird. She cries if she sees my bike and offers to send me plane tickets to bike rallies. Mark and Genevieve joined us and we ate and visited in a quiet back room while cowboys played Deliverance music and hoards of girls line danced on the dance floor.

The Dirty Dog was wall-to-wall biker madness. Complete with scantly clad girls dancing on the bars, a rockin’ band, and our host with the most, Jack Schit on the mike making sure everybody was laughing and having a good time. And I must say he’s pretty darn good at that!

My boyfriend actually tries to tell me that he gets embarrassed when I send my stripper girlfriends over to paw on him. Yeah, he looks absolutely mortified, doesn’t he?

So the next time someone says I don’t know Jack Schit, well I beg your pardon, because………for years it was true, I didn’t know Schit! But now I do, I truly do. I mean, I really, really do! Maybe more than I need to!

You can read more about Jack Schit at:
http://www.jackshitsworld.blogspot.com

Or me at:
www.BetsyHuelskamp.com

And for the girls a special site: http://www.womenridersnow.com/

Kenny Price, founder of Samson Motorcycle Products Inc, located in Brea, California, is the inventor and leading innovator of numerous patented and high-performance exhaust systems for Harley-Davidson and Metric Cruiser motorcycles. From his humble beginnings as a teenager in the early ’60s, Kenny’s aspiration was to tweak more power out of his ’56 Vespa. He graduated to a 650 Triumph Bonneville a couple years later.

Then in 1969 he bought his first Harley, a ’65 Panhead, which he still owns today. After Kenny’s friends saw how well his 1965 Panhead looked and performed with its newly fabricated pipes, they had him make pipes for their bikes. This was done with raw tubing welded together with an acetylene torch and coat hangers for cheap rod, then he stepped up to welding wire. It was not long before Kenny was making pipes for many of his friends and their friend’s motorcycles.

While working at Cheetah Choppers in 1969 he was nicknamed “The Fabricator” which was followed by “The Godfather of Pipes” soon after.

I rode with Kenny in the ’70s. We survived that era and Kenny went on to work as a prototype machinist, making very intricate and precision products. For a while, he ran a company building stretched limousines.

“But you can’t open a manufacturing plant next to a strip joint,” Kenny said. “The employees lose motivation, if the boss plays all the time.”

Kenny started buying and selling cars and hung out with Chris Dello, who worked for Cheetah as a road rep, and made pipes in the ’70s under the Fubar name until Harley-Davidson attempted to put them out of business. One day while running out for lunch, Chris told Kenny to pull off the freeway. A pipe making company faced Chapter 11 and needed to downsize quick. Chris introduced Kenny to the shop and he bought a tremendous amount of equipment and a pipe bender for 10 cents on the dollar.

It was 1990 and suddenly Kenny found himself making pipes with his own machine shop, and trying to repair the old tube bender. “I learned how to bend pipe, and it was easy compared to prototype machining,” Kenny said, “but it allowed me to build pipes for custom bikes. What could be better?”

The new H-D Dyna Glide came out in 1991 and Kenny started to make pipes for the new model. With each new pipe he created a flier and mailed it to all the dealers mentioned in ThunderPress, then he bought a dealer mailing list from Flanders for five cent per dealer. Every time he developed a new pipe, he printed and mailed a new flier.

Too soon afterwards, he started to over grow his shop. “Every night we packed all our inventory, bikes, and spare materials in the shop before we left,” Kenny said. “Every morning we drug all the stock, the bikes, and material out of the shop so we could go to work.”

Three times the Samson Exhaust Company moved as they over-grew another facility, and took on more customers such as Drag Specialties. Kenny was one of the first exhaust manufacturers to develop true duals, cross-overs and S-pipes.

Today, Samson Motorcycle Products, Inc. continues to design and manufacture innovative exhaust products and Kenny is involved in every aspect of pipes made at Samson. Kenny is a long distance rider and Samson still exists as a family owned business that has an enthusiast mindset and genuine passion and connection in the motorcycle industry. Kenny’s son, a recent middle east veteran, is now one of the bosses and his daughter, Rachael, has worked for the business for over a decade.

“From the very beginning we set out to build the very best motorcycle exhaust systems. We designed every aspect of our company to do just that,” said Kenny. “Our belief is simple. Our customers want a company that puts quality before quantity. And here we are still doing what we do best.”

Their latest pipe, the Powerflow III, is the third generation of his high performance 2-into-1 systems available for all big twin models. “Our first generation was a hot rod performance system,” Kenny said, “but it was loud. Do you want power or quiet.” This new system blends sound and performance.

It’s snowing in upstate New York, a bone chilling 6 degrees Celsius as Will Barclay warms up his Royal Enfield for the morning ride. “It’s always a good day to ride,” he says with a wry smile and rumbles off into the silent white countryside. This philosophy garnered Will the win in what’s probably considered the most challenging motorcycle ride of the decade. Hoka Hey tasked riders to 8500 miles of secondary roads from the Florida Keys to Homer, Alaska. Barclay left dead last and crossed the finish line almost a full day ahead of the pack winning the Half Million Dollar purse. Hoka Hey once again challenges riders and Barclay is now the man to beat. What’s his secret, what makes this 51-year-old private Jet pilot so indomitable? I caught up with Will at Chester’s Harley-Davidson, Arizona, ground zero for Hoka Hey, August 5th 2011 and asked him.

“I had been training for Hoka Hey unintentionally” Barclay stated. “I enjoy motorcycling the Himalayas and India solo on my Royal Enfield and regularly encounter every possible scenario. At 18 thousand feet altitude you develop stamina and endurance, when it’s time to stop I just pitched a tent, sleep a few hours and continue on. There are no road signs so an intuitive sense of direction is critical. As a pilot, I ride between flights so timelines keep me focused and unrelenting, Hoka Hey was a natural.”

Sleeping several hours a night for days on end may natural for Will Barclay but I dare say serious contenders beware. He rode 194 hours and only 10 of those, the wheels weren’t turning. The bar is set and riders from around the globe who will partake in what may become the world’s most famous motorcycle ride. With Harley-Davidson as this year’s sponsor and Barclay the man to beat, participants had better step up their game. What’s Will doing to prepare for this year’s Hoka Hey? He’s doing what he always does, rides. He traveled upstate NY to Arizona (in three days) then to Las Vegas and back to Arizona. After bike week he plans to ride to San Francisco and then back home. Although it seems that Will’s positive attitude and willingness to fully engage in every life experience has far more to do with winning than any preparation.

This affable 6’1″ Jet Pilot seems completely in command of his surroundings. We discussed upcoming preparations as I attempted to pry his secrets. Will asked if I wanted to go for a ride with a smirk, as if testing my mettle. We left Chester’s and headed towards the mountains. Within half-an-hour we stopped at a T on a tiny road in the middle of nowhere. Will sat idling as if pondering a left or right turn then suddenly darted across the hard road and rumbled up a dirt road towards the mountain’s base. I followed in the dirt and gravel. It wasn’t too bad but not my choice to pilot a half-ton of Harley and rider. The scene was spectacular; endless freshly plowed dirt rows and not a human in sight. I heard his stereo playing a song by the Allman Brothers Band, Midnight Rider…Ain’t gonna let’ em catch me no, aint gonna let’em catch the Midnight Rider. Will seemed to need this space to ride; I can’t begin to imagine what motorcycling through the Himalayas alone must be like. The dirt road ends and becomes, well…just dirt and in the distance a truck approaches.

Winning is having faith and faith is believing something is real that hasn’t happened yet.

Read the full story and Wills secrets in Baggers Magazine available in magazine racks June 21st
Also follow Will at www.kozmoto.com
http://www.baggersmag.com/index.html
http://www.hokaheychallenge.com/index.html
http://willbarclay.com/
http://www.facebook.com/BarclayWill

Compiled & Edited by Bill Bish,
National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM)

CONGRESS ACTS TO REINFORCE BAN ON NHTSA LOBBYING
May is Motorcycle Awareness Month across the country, and Congressional lawmakers are introducing a resolution on May 2 to continue current restrictions on NHTSA that prevent the federal transportation agency from lobbying state and local governments to enact helmet laws.

The lobbying ban was originally amended into the Transportation Equity Act in 1998, but U.S. Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner (R-WI) and his House colleagues want to reinforce the prohibitions on NHTSA lobbying and focus the agency’s efforts on crash prevention and rider education.

According to the resolution, the U.S. House of Representatives “supports efforts to retain the ban on the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration’s ability to lobby state legislators using federal tax dollars, encourages continued growth in the motorcyclist community, and encourages owners and riders to be responsible road users.”

The resolution, similar to a version Sensenbrenner introduced last session, goes on to say that the House “recognizes the importance of motorcycle crash prevention as the primary source of motorcycle safety (and) encourages NHTSA to focus on motorcycle crash prevention and rider education as the most significant priorities in motorcycle safety.”

“KIDS JUST WANT TO RIDE” COMPANION BILL INTRODUCED IN U.S. SENATE
U.S. Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN) has introduced an amendment to exempt youth motorcycles and ATVs from the “lead law” that will effectively ban the sale of these machines.

Senate Amendment 264 would exempt youth off highway vehicles from the overly-restrictive lead-content provisions of the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA) of 2008, which has decimated the youth motorsports industry and will ban their sale at the end of the year unless the CPSIA language is changed.

Meant to protect our children from imported toys with lead-based paint, the CPSIA prohibits the making, importing, distributing or selling of any product intended for children 12 and under that contains more than a specified amount of lead in any accessible part. The unintended consequences were that, because some parts such as brakes and battery components contain lead, dealerships were barred from selling motorcycles and ATVs intended for young riders, as well as replacement parts.

The Klobuchar amendment is similar to H.R. 412, the Kids Just Want to Ride Act introduced in the House by Rep. Denny Rehberg (R-MT), and would amend S. 493, the Small Business Innovation Research Reauthorization Act.

You can contact your Congressional representatives through the U.S. Capitol Switchboard at (202) 224-3121 to urge their support.

BIKERS PROTEST MOTORCYCLE-ONLY CHECKPOINTS
Hundreds of motorcyclists from around Georgia rode to the Capitol to rev their engines in protest of a federal grant the Georgia State Patrol is using to conduct motorcycle-only checkpoints.

The crowd denounced the overly-invasive and discriminatory roadblocks as unconstitutional and chanted “No more profile stops” and “Education, not checkpoints!”

The protest rally came two weeks after the state patrol conducted motorcycle checkpoints on Interstates 75 and 95 during Daytona Bike Week, during which troopers stopped motorcyclists at roadblocks to check for proper paperwork, approved helmet, and properly functioning equipment.

“The roadblocks are a violation of our rights and are a pure attempt at profiling,” said Dan Forrest, State Director of ABATE of Georgia. “Having a registration, proof of insurance and an endorsement on our license does make us safe. Loud pipes never killed anyone.”

Georgia is the first state to conduct such checkpoints under a federal grant from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration as part of a $350,000 pool of funds available to as many as five law enforcement agencies nationwide to test the effectiveness of a New York State Police pilot program.

Several motorcycle organizations are urging riders to call on Governor Nathan Deal to cancel the remainder of the checkpoints, which will be scheduled over the next 20 months at undisclosed locations during unannounced times.

Some in Congress have also questioned NHTSA’s grant and called for Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood to pull the plug on future funding for motorcycle-only checkpoints. Rep. Tom Petri (R-WI), who recently co-sponsored legislation to prohibit such grants, called the checkpoints “outrageously intrusive.”

Indeed, many of the protesters at the March 23rd rally held signs in support of US House Resolution 904 which would prevent the US DOT from providing funds to states which would be used for motorcycle roadblocks.

In the meantime, motorcyclists are also awaiting a court ruling on the constitutionality of the New York checkpoints, being challenged by N.Y. Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) Attorney Mitch Proner on behalf of his clients as well as representing the interests of ABATE of New York and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM).

MOTORCYCLISTS COME TOGETHER FOR JAPAN
The 2011 Japan Earthquake and subsequent Tsunami last month has affected the motorcycle industry in a big way, especially since Japan is home to the “Big Four” motorcycle manufacturers: Yamaha, Honda, Suzuki and Kawasaki.

As the disaster relief efforts continue in Northeastern Japan, American motorcyclists are doing what they can to help those struggling through the cleanup and rebuilding, with U.S. motorcycle industry groups, racing series and even the American division of Japanese manufacturers raising funds in various fashions.

Three U.S. powersports industry associations announced that they are joining forces to provide financial assistance to the relief efforts underway in Japan. The boards and members of the Motorcycle Industry Council, the Motorcycle Safety Foundation and the Specialty Vehicle Institute of America are collectively donating $10,000 to the 2011 Japan Relief Fund, and each organization is encouraging its members and individuals in the riding community to make their own contributions via a link on their websites (visit MIC.org, rockmoto.com, motorcycles.org, MSF-USA.org, SVIA.org or atvsafety.org and click on the “2011 Japan Relief Fund” tab). All donations will go to experienced non-governmental disaster relief agencies in Japan that have a proven track record of emergency humanitarian relief and restoration work.

To provide support to those affected by Japan’s worst natural disaster; the massive 9.0-magnitude earthquake that triggered a tsunami that caused widespread devastation and crippled nuclear power plants, the presidents of all of the U.S.-based Kawasaki entities are collecting donations from employees under their matching gift program and forwarding the contributions to the Red Cross. The Kawasaki Good Times Foundation is contributing $50,000 to initiate the charitable giving campaign.

Even iconic American motorcycle manufacturer Harley-Davidson has reached out to the disaster zone with a $250,000 donation to the American Red Cross aid effort in Japan, and has established a link on their website to the Red Cross (www.RedCross.org) to make it easier for employees, customers and other riders to contribute.

EUROPEAN STUDY YIELDS INSIGHT INTO MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENTS
European researchers discovered some interesting facts about the common causes of motorcycle accidents. The Motorcycle Accidents In Depth Study (MAIDS) was based on 921 motorcycle accidents, which included 103 fatalities, across France, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands and Spain. While some of the findings were expected, others were unanticipated. Not surprisingly, the study indicates that the motorcyclists most often collided with passenger vehicles. Surprisingly or not, 70% of passenger vehicle drivers involved in accidents with motorcycles failed to perceive the motorcyclist. And while 73.1% of riders attempted some form of collision avoidance, 32% nonetheless experienced some form of loss of control during the maneuver.

While all this may seem disheartening to riders, there are steps that can be taken to maximize safety; other findings from the study indicate: Over half of the accidents occurred at intersections – Although 90% of those involved in crashes were wearing helmets, 9% of helmeted riders lost their helmets in crashes due to improper fit, fastening or damage – Younger riders — those between 18 and 25 years of age — crashed at a higher percentage and riders aged 41 to 55 crashed less frequently – Riders wearing dark clothes were more likely to crash than others – Modified conventional street motorcycles were over-represented in crashes in the study, but engine size did not appear to be a factor – Unlicensed bikers were more likely to crash than properly licensed bikers – Weather was deemed to be a factor in only 7.5% of accidents.

VIRGINIA LAUNCHES “RIDER ALERT” CARD
Richmond Ambulance Authority (RAA) and Bon Secours Virginia Health System, in partnership with Motorcycle Virginia, Inc., have launched a new program designed to save the lives of injured motorcyclists. The program provides free identification data cards that will help first responders provide rapid and accurate medical assistance to riders involved in accidents.

Motorcyclists who participate are provided a free Rider Alert card that contains their personal emergency contact and medical information in the event of a crash. The cards are kept inside the lining of riders’ helmets and come with a 1-inch round sticker placed outside the helmet to alert emergency responders of the card. The sticker also warns bystanders not to remove the rider’s helmet, which could prevent further injury.

RAA officials say the Rider Alert card program is the first of its kind in the United States, and said that they modeled their program on an initiative in Great Britain known as “CRASH Card”, developed two years ago by that country’s Ambulance Motorcycle Club.

On a national level, Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) was founded on a similar premise over 25 years ago by California attorney Richard M. Lester, issuing free Emergency Medical cards to bikers across the country that are linked to a database of their important medical information and emergency contact. A.I.M. has notified ambulance companies and first responders across the country to look for the yellow A.I.M. Card in a downed rider’s wallet.

“We applaud Virginia’s Rider Alert program and can appreciate their organizers’ level of commitment to implement such a life-saving project,” said Lester, whose A.I.M. program also networks with biker attorneys in every state to represent the interests of injured motorcyclists. “When a rider is down, they need all the help they can get as fast as they can get it.”

More than three million A.I.M. Cards have been issued since 1985, and you can get yours free by calling (800) ON-A-BIKE or visit www.ON-A-BIKE.com. Free “Do Not Remove This Helmet” stickers are also available.

WEIRD NEWS: HONDA WORKING ON MOTORCYCLE SEATBELTS
Yes, you read it right…Honda is working on a system of seatbelts for motorcycles. Seems crazy, but it appears to be a serious project judging from the patents Honda has filed for the system, and images posted on BikersPost.com.

According to the website, the belt arrangement is designed for larger touring bikes like the Gold Wing where the rider won’t be moving around much in the seat, and the belt can work with the airbag to more effectively reduce injuries.

However, Honda apparently has recognized that in a lot of accidents it’s better to be away from the bike rather than attached to it, so their new seatbelt system also has elements of ejector seat: When the computer senses that the bike is irretrievably tipping over it releases the entire seat, with the rider still attached, and inflates an airbag backrest. “The idea is that having ejected you slide down the road in a sitting position, with the seat betwixt your hide and the asphalt. Sort of extreme tobogganing.”

Of course, nobody envisioned airbags on a motorcycle either, before Honda’s R&D team put one on their Gold Wing as a factory option.

QUOTABLE QUOTE: “How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.”
~ George Washington Carver, scientist (1864-1943)

Nowadays, by definition, a motorcycle trip is typically not something done simply for the utilitarian transportation reason of getting from point A to point B because you have to get there. Yes, there are plenty of folks who ride to work during the week, ride to a union meeting on a Saturday morning, and Hell I’ve even made my sales calls to certain customers on Daisy Mae (laptop and a portfolio in the tour pack and away we go)!

Largely though most motorcycle trips include some kind of recreational purpose whether it be a big national bike event, scenic gawking, or time spent wandering with very ‘head clearing’ therapy as the sole purpose. So, barring any catastrophes (mechanical or environmental) these recreational trips should flow as smoothly as silk, be free of snafus, and conjure up nothing but fond, pleasant memories for a long long time….right? Well maybe in theory.

As the wife unit, the Duh or her Blondeness says anytime we start reminiscing about any of our bike trips from the past 25 or so years, usually with friends in an adult establishment that serves our favorite beverages, “if shit didn’t happen you wouldn’t have anything to talk about!”

This “shit”, as she so delicately puts it, in our motorcycle lives has ranged from numerous close calls with four wheeled vehicles, the cantankerous Ironhead Sportster from Hell and it’s mystical, magical propensity to break down, countless sessions of one to four people standing on a remote roadside turning a map around and around until it and the crack team of navigators is dizzy (and the end result is that your still not on the right road), mechanical failures ranging from inoperative petcocks, Shovelhead one mounting bolt drag pipes falling off, flat tires, broken clutch cables, chain problems (yes I’m going back a few years), and any one or more of a host of problems or situations where “shit” did indeed happen.

So the question might be is this “shit” that happens good shit, bad shit, miscellaneous shit, nondescript meaningless life shit or just exactly what! As I mature (get grayer) and become more and more sophisticated…..(no comment), I’ve started to think of this “shit” as lessons learned, life’s little gremlins, bends in the road, hurdles, or possibly just defining moments where our mechanical skill, cerebral acuity, and sense of humor should kick in and allow us to overcome the situation and come shining through like MacGyver with a roll of duct tape and some mechanics wire in his backpack.

Yes, defining moments, that sounds much better and far more sophisticated when recounting these bumps in the road than “shit”. Defining moments, a phrase I don’t think I’ve ever used in casual conversation. I think I’ll start though. Next time I’m given some ridiculous sales assignment with an unreasonable deadline I’m going to answer the Duh’s “how was your day” question with an intelligent description of the defining moment of just when my day went South instead of “my asshole boss sent me another stupid e-mail about another promotion that makes no sense.”

Maybe it’ll make me a calmer, more sophisticated ‘mature’ man instead of a graying grump. Or maybe not. Defining moments on a motorcycle trip, particularly a trip that has recreation somewhere in its master plan, regardless of what a pain they may be at the time, are way too cool to compare to anything that happens during the course of a workday. Workday snafus are “shit.” They’re the things that make us gray, make us grumpy, and in my particular case often time make me drink (well that and the Irish heritage).

So I guess I’ll leave my new favorite phrase of ‘defining moments’ to use only in pleasant situations with folks I like being around and in the company of friendly beverages. That way the memories of falling asleep under the bike lift while I’m supposed to be checking to see how straight the freshly installed chain is running or riding beside my buddy limping into Kansas City on I-70 on a Road King that wouldn’t go over 40 due to a bad injector or watching the Duh fall ass over teakettle in the middle of main street in Red Lodge Montana after push starting my Electra Glide Standard (and then forgetting to let go once it started) will continue to be great defining moments or “movies inside my head” that I can replay over and over again once the kids have decided it’s time to ‘put Dad somewhere” and not just shit. Ride safe and enjoy your defining moments!

–Doze

You’re never too old to learn something new! Although it is not that easy teaching old dogs new tricks! After Arizona Bike Week, I finally moved my rusty ole chopper to my new Colorado Hacienda. When I returned to California to work this past week, it was my first time in California in 25 years without a motorcycle. I thought I might have a panic attack, but then my pal Qian’s ex-boyfriend Reg said I could ride one of his bikes. Not just anyone would lend out his Harley, and Reg never much cared for me when he and Qian were dating. Although, I’d like to say for the record, “Qian’s behavior was never my fault! I swear! You know that right?”

I had seen both of his bikes before, enough to know that borrowing either of them was a privilege. But I had also not paid enough attention to realize was I was getting myself into! He asked me which one I wanted to ride, and I told him that I would take whichever one he didn’t want to ride that day. He said he’d ride the rigid, and asked me if I was okay with the suicide clutch. Well, I had never tried one before, but I’ve been riding 25 years, and I’ve demoed every kind and model of motorcycle launched over the years with Genevieve, the esteemed editor of several women rider books, and the publisher of the biggest women’s web site on the net, WomenRidersNow.com………how hard could it be, right?

So, I got ready for a day of riding the way I always get ready for a day of riding. It was going to be record high temperatures, which called for my favorite halter top, hip huggers and high heel boots! What else would I wear riding? I did think it might be windy on the three- hour ride to Winchester, so at least I had on a pair of chaps when I arrived at Reg’s underground parking facility to pick up my new ride. He walked me over to the bike and gave me a brief here’s where you put the key in, here are your brakes, here’s your clutch, and here’s where you shift. Then he had to peel to his mechanics shop, snatch (there’s that booty think again) the rigid and meet us at Jamba Juice where other riders waited.

Okay, so I guess I should just say it now. I have a new found respect for Reg, and for all of you suicide clutch riders. Because after he walked away I just sat there, trying to wrap my old dog habits around these new rules. Okay………..there is no neutral light, but I knew I was in neutral because I could roll the bike forward. I turned the bike on, and it was SO loud and powerful I could barely hear myself thinking in that cement underground parking garage full of other polished cars I would hopefully avoid as I departed. My right hand was on the brake, and holding tight! My left foot in its high heel booty had to gently press the clutch down to disengage, and I had to gingerly lift my chap covered boot gently to let the clutch out……..but already my leg was shaking! Holy crap, I haven’t been nervous on a bike in over 20 years!

I turned the bike around manually so that I’d has a straight shot out of the garage, which ended up being a very smart move, because when I finally let go of that brake I shot forward about a hundred feet to where Qian and our new friend Jenna from Sweden were waiting for me with frozen looks of, “oh shit here she comes,” on their faces!

My adrenaline was running so high that I took off out of the parking lot with no helmet, no sunglasses, and no gloves. I calmed myself down enough to know that I just needed to keep my left foot softly operating that clutch, but I learned that apparently the left side of my body is only for looks! My left leg had a very hard time with the gentle part, because the clutch was just too stiff for my weak little leg! And I couldn’t tell if I found neutral, and I needed to put my feet down coming to stop lights, but I couldn’t take my foot off of the clutch unless I WAS in neutral, or I would have two bad choices!

A. Just drop the bike like a nelly girl at a stop sign or B. Shoot off into the sunset like a Rock Star!

Once in the parking lot of Jamba Juice, I felt a fresh new sense of being happy to be alive! ALL of my senses were heightened! I feel obligated to tell you that Reg lives exactly three blocks away from Jamba Juice! I made an executive decision at that point to switch over to the rigid frame for the rest of the day, and come back in the future to learn the suicide clutch, when I wasn’t in a hurry to lead friends on a long day’s ride, and perhaps I could practice in a quiet deserted field, and definitely with flat boots, a leather jacket, gloves, and a helmet! I never felt so exposed to asphalt in my life!

So, off we set for the third annual Hippy Killer Hoedown being held at the Wild West Arena in Winchester, California. Switching to the rigid made me feel about as safe as riding a bucking bronco around the barrels! The rigid had no front brakes, and on what seems like a normal stretch of highway catapulted my 117lbs. a foot into the air on every uneven slab of pavement! And when I landed back down on his seemingly cement seat my 1970s zodiac boots would slip and slide right off of his straight, smooth foot pegs, and gravity reminded me that there was a road passing under me at a rapid pace. I didn’t want to leave pieces of my boots on the unforgiving concrete! And a week later, my left hand was still stuck in a gripped position from how stiff his hand clutch was. I felt like such a………..girl or was that Booty!

The Hippy Killer event had no shortage of classic cars, vintage bikes, and cool people. Even if you’ve been to a lot of these shows, this one really did have the coolest of the cool dudes representing.

Our friend Bean’re was there, but of course he was! Bean’re is everywhere! If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear or see it, does it make a sound? If they hold a bike event, and Bean’re isn’t there to host it, is it really even a biker event?

Despite the ridiculously hot sun beating down on us all day in the middle of God’s country, everybody just kicked back in whatever piece of shade they could find or create.

In addition to the customs there was live music playing all day, food & giveaways, and vendors galore. The flavored slushy booth was a huge hit in the hot sun.

My longtime favorite builders from Evil Spirit Engineering had their booth set up with a couple of their builds that displayed some of the amazing detail they do on their bikes.

One of the things I love most about afternoon bike events includes the families who come out and the enthusiasm of the cute kids looking at and enjoying the motorcycle world.

As always, the fun for me was being able to spend some time with friends, old and new doing what we love to do.

Facebook has been an outlet that has brought bikers from around the world together. Qian met our new friend Jenna on Facebook. She is a new rider from Sweden, and Qian hooked up her ex-boyfriend Reg with the Maude Adams look alike. Now I’d say that’s a pretty generous gesture on Qian’s behalf, so perhaps the karmic dues between Qian and Reg are almost paid? Well, like I said, they are still working on that!

As a life long hippy myself, I am not sure I understand why anyone would want to kill the harmless hippies! But facing the long ride home on that wicked rigid made me wonder if some hippy hater had paid Reg to off me! Putting all of my problems aside, riding the Booty bike down the road was a day to remember! Onlookers watching me and Qian on her own rigid catching air off of every bump as we flew home smiled, waved and gave us the thumbs up. I thank Reg for the opportunity to learn something new, and look forward to getting back on that V-rod at a later date!

After purchasing the HRD company in 1928, Philip Vincent added the name to his own line of motorcycles. As an inventor and engineer, Mr. Vincent produced some very innovative designs during his career, and bikes carrying the Vincent HRD logo were known for their quality construction, and high prices. It was the latter that would lead to the company’s demise in 1955, although he tried to cut a deal with Indian, but they both went down.

Postwar Vincents looked a bit odd, as though all the individual components were bolted to each other rather than to a skeletal frame, which they were. But most important to buyers was that Vincents were the fastest bikes of their day. In 1949, a high-performance version of the Rapide joined the line. Called the Series C Black Shadow, it had black-painted engine cases and was even faster than the Rapide, and today is one of the most coveted classic motorcycles in the world.

This particular Black Shadow has a rich history. It was brand new when Leo Splinter bought it. He actually owned a 1950 Indian Chief and ordered a brand new 1952 Chief – however, Indian workers had gone on strike and there was no expected delivery date for the new Chief. So, the Indian field representative for the Mankato, Minnesota area talked Leo into ordering a Vincent – which Indian was importing at that time.

That same year, Leo and a friend rode from their home in Minnesota to Sturgis where they spent the weekend enjoying the races and even went to the dance in downtown Sturgis.

Leo spent two years in Korea in 1953 and 1954, but upon his return, he and a couple of friends took their bikes to Daytona for Bike Week in 1955. He and two friends spent days on the road in nasty weather conditions. They planned to cover 500 miles a day in order to get to their destination in time for the races they planned to attend. They had a great time in Daytona, but the trip back proved to be not as good. The Black Shadow broke down in Alexandria, Louisiana, and Leo ended up leaving it there and riding with his friend until the weather kept them from riding any further (somewhere in Iowa). They took a bus back home, and returned to pick up the Vincent a week later.

Later that same year, Leo married his wife Phyllis – and the two of them took the Vincent with them on their honeymoon. Leo and Phyllis and their sons still own this bike, which has been on display in the Sturgis Motorcycle Museum & Hall of Fame since 2003.

–Christine