We found ourselves lost in the Holidays, but fortunately Kevin Kahl returned from Kansas after a surgery to relieve the pain in his legs. Most of my homework assignments were completed. He didn’t recuperate for a couple of days after the long drive but immediately came to the shop with his compact car packed with tools.



I helped him unload the tube bender, mandrels and a small Harbor Freight TIG welder. We went to work trying to determine whether we needed more rod and we did. I had a TIG welder and a tank full of Argon gas, but we considered another, smaller tank.



He needed to recuperate, so off he went to his swaying boat. Besides all the welding shops were closed on Saturday and H-D dealerships were closed on Mondays. It was a sinister plot to slow us down.



A couple of days passed and Kevin felt up for action. We made runs to True Value Hardware, Matheson Welding, and Phillips Steel the next Friday. They were having their Christmas party. Their boss had told me his Jesse James stories, but I will leave them in the dust of the past. The staff Christmas party wound down and the shop closed at noon. We arrived at 3:00, but a couple of staff members, one who worked there for 23 years, held on and helped us with some tubing chunks we needed. It wasn’t easy but we found them.



We cut away more sections of the Paughco touring frame. I installed the JIMS Fat 5 Transmission, with Custom Cycle Engineering spherical bearings, and dug the JIMS 135-inch Twin Cam out of its crate. It had been locked down for four years. It was time to feel the sun and progress.



Kevin is a confident and experienced frame builder. I was sketchy about cutting too much of the frame away. I didn’t want to lose my foundation before I was confident in the outcome.



I also needed an oil pan and started to scramble. I want to go back to the Evo days when shit was simple. There are even several versions of the oil pan now with the new M-8. The crew at JIMS didn’t know what transmission case I had. It took some digging and I need to learn to look for part numbers. They answer everything. I needed a 99-05 oil pan and Mike O’Brien had one. He also had the 39 mm front-end axle we needed for Frankie’s FXR. I scored and jammed home.

I was also cleaning up shop stuff and thinking about Dr. Hamster’s bobber. I moved the Paughco bars off the 1928 Shovelhead and made studs to hold them on the Panhead bobber project.













I had the oil pan I needed and cleaned the shit outta it before installing it. JIMS is now making a high capacity oil tank, but I’m not sure we need it. We will see. With the chain hoist, we installed the JIMS engine in place with a Paughco heavy-duty front motor mount system and plate.





I’m now asking lots of late model questions and working with BDL on a primary drive and clutch system. I also need some parts and an offset sprocket for the transmission.






We need these pieces in place to determine Torpedo body fitment. We are trying like hell to stuff all the elements in the smallest body tank available. So far so good.



One of our first missions was to level the lift, and then level the frame with the driveline in place, and finally level the belly tank bottom. Kevin worked on that, while I worked on shortening the swingarm an inch. We needed more flexibility inside the body. We finally cut the last chunks of the Paughco exhaust pipe out of the body of the belly tank.





We took the front axle and frame plate out and I trimmed it some more, while Kevin started to bend frame members. He also didn’t like the dragster seat pan I bought. It was still too wide and tall. He wanted to build a new one. Kent had narrowed the one I bought, but it could be even narrower.



We looked hard at the seat position and how close we could get to the engine.



In the meantime, Jeremiah constantly complained about his rattling D&D carbon fiber muffler. The aluminum rivets started to fail. He asked for a new muffler but the boss wouldn’t talk to him. He added new and additional rivets, but that only lasted a while. The clamp cracked and he welded it. I suggested we could fix it.



He tried one more time with D&D but the service guy didn’t know anything about Dynas and offered to talk to the boss, but the boss never responded. The service guy admitted that the baffles were popping loose, which added to the muffler failures.




We told him to go to Phillips steel and buy a chunk of 4-inch tubing, thin wall, like 16-gauge and make the muffler solid again. He did and finally tore the muffler apart. The baffle mesh holding the glass packed material was tacked to the tapered sleeve and all the tacks were busted. I told him to shit-can the glass pack material, but he saved every little burnt piece and put it back after I tacked the mesh back into place.





Kevin TIG welded the tube in place and re-welded the clamp, and off Jeremiah went to the store to buy VHS heat paint.



As Christmas approached, Kevin started coming to the shop every other day at noon. He needed to rest and heal. We made wooden guides to hold the body level and I made a frame jig, with his guidance, to hold the frame level. He started to bend tubing.



On Xmas day, Kevin felt up for action. The Redhead and a gang of wharf rats had made cookies and cooked for a couple of days. My son and grandson came over, and I couldn’t find a football game on television, so we were kicking back but itchin’ for action.





Kevin came over and tacked some of his frame rails. We installed the front section, and we felt compelled to see if he could fit inside.





That’s when we ran into measuring issues, but after measuring and re-taping several times, we got close. I hole-saw-drilled the corners and cut the fiberglass with a jigsaw.





What a kick. We made a thick, cardboard seat pieces and I dug out a brand new XRV Harley full-faced helmet. Kevin, who is about 5’10” fit with room to spare.





Next, we will bend roll bars after studying the FIM specs manual, which is sorta vague, but I’m also in constant touch with Denis Manning, the master of streamliners. Hang on to the next report.






JIM’S Machine


Hot Rod Underground


Paughco


Strictly Hawgs


MetalSport Wheels

Zero Motorcycles have exhibited at the past two IDTechEx events, and typically showcase their sporty S and off-road DS models, as well as their impressive 45kW electric motors (designed from scratch in California and produced at a factory in China). This year, at the IDTechEx Show! in Santa Clara California, things were markedly different. Zero staged two more light electric vehicles: a three-wheeled electric Vanderhall, and a four-wheeled electric go-kart, both using its powertrain. While these are still niche categories (in fact, the gasoline version of the Vanderhall has only been available to buy for the past couple of years), it is a statement from the company that it does not want to be thought of as purely a motorcycle brand. As found in the IDTechEx Research report Electric Two-wheelers 2019 – 2029, it reflects a stagnating motorcycle industry, which has been unable to attract a new younger audience for the past decade.

 

The gasoline version of the Vanderhall ‘Venice’, the cheapest model, is on sale for just under $30,000 — cheaper than a Harley Davidson touring bike. The electric version would be slightly more expensive, but much cheaper to run.

 

The electric Vanderhall at the IDTechEx Show! in Santa Clara. Source: IDTechEx

 

A go-kart with Zero Motorcycles’ powertrain. Source: IDTechEx

 

Energica, an electric superbike maker based in Italy, echoed Zero Motorcycles’ troubles during its conference presentation, showing motorcycle sales data that has flatlined since the economic crisis (see below). Part of issue is down to safety conscious millennials: 5.4 percent of Baby Boomers owned a motorcycle versus 1.6 percent of Millennials, according to presented data. Another issue is the perceived image: ‘In the U.S. motorcycles are not a mode of transportation — they are above all a personal expression’ said Mr Stefano Benatti, CEO. The result: it is harder for electric two-wheelers to break from the image of ‘a dowdy commuter vehicle for environmental fanatics’ which auto startups like Tesla have done so well. However, while the western motorcycle industry as a whole is stagnant, electric motorcycle sales are growing: they are not necessarily viewed as ‘dowdy’ once ridden. Increasing sales further will require fresh strategies like tapping into markets in Asia, or supplying quality powertrains for other light electric vehicles.

 

Data provided on the IDTechEx Portal. Source: Energica via the Motorcycle Industry Council report 2017

 

A cautionary tale in the industry has been the story of Alta Motors: an electric motocross bike start-up once based in California. Alta’s strategy was also to look beyond the premium motorcycle segment — it intended to produce low-power e-scooters in high volume, tapping into markets in Asia (India for example sells roughly 20 million motorcycles per year, most < 200cc). However, before things could really take off the company ran out of cash, and production ceased in October 2018. Zero’s strategy is more cautious: trying to open up new markets by becoming a powertrain supplier, without making something new, may be a winning strategy.

 

Learn more in the IDTechEx report Electric Two-Wheelers 2019 – 2029. Based on a global assessment IDTechEx Research has developed forecasts by category and region for 2019 – 2029.

 

The key takeaways / benefits of the research in this report are:

•                      Analysis of where e-bikes, e-scooters and e-motorcycles will be dominant and why, including historical data.

•                      Current year market size and forecasts up to 2029 by power class / speed: e-bikes <1kW and < 25kmph, e-scooters < 4kW and > 25kmph, e-motorcycles > 4kW.

•                      Current year market size and forecasts up to 2029 by region, including India, Indonesia, Vietnam, Taiwan, Thailand, China, U.S. and Europe.

•                      Comparison of different electric two-wheeler models – technologies, costs, players and government support.

•                      Market share of leading e-motorcycle manufacturers and comprehensive list and specification of current models.

•                      Report from visit to Zero Motorcycles manufacturing facility in California, and company profiles based on IDTechEx interviews.

For more information contact research@IDTechEx.com or see www.IDTechEx.com/evtwowheel. 

Editor’s Note with the help of Wikipedia: The Salem witch trials were a series of hearings and prosecutions of people accused of witchcraft in colonial Massachusetts between February 1692 and May 1693. More than 200 people were accused, nineteen of whom were found guilty and executed by hanging.

These episodes have happened numerous times in our history from religious persecution to political upheaval like the McCarthy Era. Ultimately Senator Joseph McCarthy committed suicide.

McCarthyism is the practice in the United States of making accusations of subversion or treason without proper regard for evidence. The term refers to U.S. senator Joseph McCarthy (R-Wisconsin) and has its origins in the period in the United States known as the Second Red Scare, lasting from the late 1940s through the 1950s. It was characterized by heightened political repression as well as a campaign spreading fear of Communist influence on American institutions and of espionage by Soviet agents.

The new Joseph McCarthy is Al Gore and who are his witches but you and your mom in her SUV. Check out the following:

Al Gore’s 10 Global Warming Predictions, 12 Years Later — None Happened!

“The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Wake up before it’s too late!”

Soon we “celebrate” the 12th anniversary of former Vice President Al Gore’s movie “An Inconvenient Truth” revealing the “grave” threat of global warming. On January 26, 2006 the Washington Post stated Al “believes humanity may have only 10 years left to save the planet from turning into a total frying pan.”

My Tennessee neighbor won an Oscar and Nobel Prize for sounding the alarm in book and film as a Climate Control Caped Crusader.

Al crisscrossed countries waving his arms, passionately declaring, “We can’t wait… We have a planetary emergency… the future of human civilization is at stake! … Global warming is the greatest challenge we’ve ever faced!” This is no exaggeration.

In an article highlighting his tireless service for humanity, The Washington Post labeled him “the world’s most renowned crusader on climate change.” Wow! And remember he almost became President of the United States were it not for a few “hanging chads” that didn’t go to his column.

President Obama subsequently picked up the “crisis” telling world leaders that “climate change (not Islamic terrorism or skyrocketing, unsustainable debt) is the number one issue facing us today.”

At the recent Global Paris Summit he pushed this agenda with urgency. The cost of his United Nations Global Warming Treaty came in at $12.1 trillion or $484 billion dollars yearly according to Bloomberg.

Al’s efforts made him an environmental hero but took a tragic toll on his marriage. His marriage of 40 years to Tipper ended in a shocking divorce.

Today, 68 year old Al alternates residence in two gorgeous, spacious homes in Nashville and California. He now has a youthful, wealthy girlfriend.

Al Gore’s Electricity Bill Reveals He Consumes 3,400% More Power Than the Average U.S. Home

Leaving his V. P. office with assets of $2 million, Mr. Gore now has wealth estimated at over $200 million. Al’s movie cost $1million and brought in $50 million.

He hauls in $175,000 speaking fees, is tied to at least fourteen green-tech firms, sits strategically on certain (take a guess) boards, plus benefits from Obama grants and millions in tax breaks. He’s on his way to becoming what one congressional leader called “our first carbon billionaire.”

Here’s the Deal

Masses of people are misinformed or misled on issues like physician-assisted suicide, marijuana legalization, unrestricted abortion, wholesale immigration, socialism, a “war on women”, “free” entitlements, and “pandemic” Wall Street fraud.

Similarly, people are manipulated and deceived regarding dire climate change/global warming reports.

This hysteria and apocalyptic fear mongering reminds many of the 1970 Earth Day predictions that fizzled like a firecracker:

100-200 million deaths to starvation yearly for 10 years–A new ice age by 2000 according to Leonard Nimoy of Star Trek fame.

The good news is that many people are wising up! Because of long standing behavior that is suspect to say the least, multitudes view as con artists multimillionaires like Al Gore, Michael Moore, the Clintons and others who prey on the gullible and get rich off causes, advance their fame and live lavish lifestyles off the backs of the unsuspecting.

Hillary told us they were almost broke leaving the White House and this week she’s on Time magazine’s cover saying, “I know what it’s like to be knocked down,” all the while she and her husband have amassed over $120 million in speaking fees alone.

A January YouGov poll of 17 countries found that 91% of Americans are not concerned about global warming. Their number one concern – global terrorism. A recent Fox News poll revealed that today only 3% are concerned about global warming!

Patrick Moore, the legendary, past president of Greenpeace says:

“There is no definitive scientific proof through real-world observation that carbon dioxide is responsible for any of the slight warming of global climate which has occurred during the past 300 years.” He rejects the “science is settled” and “the debate is over.”

Recently even the Supreme Court weighed in with an extraordinary rebuke to President Obama’s attempt to control carbon emissions.

This is not to say that we should be unconcerned or uninvolved regarding legitimate environmental concerns.

Christians are compelled to be good stewards of God’s resources and the earth. We should all make a quality decision to reasonably conserve energy (it’s why we keep our thermostat low in winter/high in summer; turn off the faucet while brushing teeth; etc.).

The Truth About Global Warming: We’re Not Causing It, But We’re PAYING for It

12 years after Al Gore’s “Inconvenient Truth” guilt/fear producing predictions, let’s close by examining just how accurate his “science” proved to be on his way to the bank.

1. Rising Sea Levels – inaccurate and misleading. Al was even discovered
purchasing a beachfront mansion!

2. Increased Tornadoes – declining for decades.

3. New Ice Age in Europe – they’ve been spared; it never happened.

4. South Sahara Drying Up – completely untrue.

5. Massive Flooding in China and India – again didn’t happen.

6. Melting Arctic – false – 2015 represents the largest refreezing in years.

7. Polar Bear Extinction – actually they are increasing!

8. Temperature Increases Due to CO2 – no significant rising for over 18 years.

9. Katrina a Foreshadow of the Future – false – past 10 years, no F3 hurricanes; “longest drought ever!”

10. The Earth Would be in a “True Planetary Emergency” Within a Decade Unless Drastic Action Taken to Reduce Greenhouse Gasses – never happened.

Awhile back, the Washington Post stated in an expose’ that, “Al Gore has thrived as a green-tech investor.” Coincidental?

Was it also coincidental that at the recent Climate Summit in Paris, there was a red carpet debut of a dynamic new film “Climate Hustle” just down the street?

This groundbreaking film exposing the junk science of global warming will be seen on Capitol Hill, in theaters, then on DVD soon. Check it out: Climate Hustle.

Another excellent and humorous documentary I’ve enjoyed on this topic is “An Inconsistent Truth” by talk show host Phil Valentine of Nashville. It’s fascinating when Phil goes to Al’s gated home! Check it out on YouTube for a hearty laugh.

Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. told us, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can.”

It’s films like the above and videos like those being seen at Bullseye Challenge (along with the Bullseye book) that are dispelling darkness by truth that’s only inconvenient to those refusing to listen.

–from Humansarefree.com

NEWS FROM THE CLIMATE DEPOT–With five days left in the year, The Weather Channel reported that the United States will finish with the fewest tornado deaths on record, should no tornadoes touch down and create fatalities before January 1.

And should no EF4/5 tornadoes hit the U.S. in the next five days, it would mark the first time that none have hit in a calendar year since that record began in 1950, according to the Washington Post.

–Marc Morano
Climate Depot

Paging Al Gore: Flashback 2013: Gore laments scientists ‘won’t let us’ tie climate change to tornadoes – Former Vice President Al Gore lamented that scientists “won’t let us yet” link tornadoes to climate change. Gore alluded to last month’s devastating twister in Moore, Okla., saying that shoddy historical statistics are preventing a connection between “these record-breaking tornadoes and the climate crisis.”

One of the biggest frustrations when disassembling a vehicle for restoration, or even repair, is the dreaded seized or stripped bolt. Stuck hardware occurs when a bolt or nut gets corrosion between the threads and they won’t budge. Many times this leads to breaking the bolt off and having to drill and retap the hold or trying to remove it with a bolt extractor. We won’t even mention what happens when the drill, tap, or extractor breaks off in the same hole.

Below are the top 10 ways our friends at Eastwood have come up with to deal with getting these suckers extracted without wrecking the precious part they are in:

1. Blunt Impact/Force: This is usually our first step when attempting to loosen stubborn bolts. We always use this method before attempting to remove exhaust studs from a cylinder head. There are a few methods to accomplish this. One is to hit on the head of the bolt in the center with a chisel or punch. Another is use an impact wrench/gun and hit it a few brief times in reverse and forward. Either of these methods work on the theory of freeing the corrosion bond between the threads by vibration or impact. It works on lightly seized bolts, but isn’t a 100 percent winner every time. Keep in mind it can be combined with many of the other methods to help make the job easier.

2. Heat: If you paid attention in chemistry class you would have learned that when you heat and cool metal it expands and contracts. The way that we have used this method in the past is to heat the head/body of the bolt until it is almost red hot. By doing this the bolt expands due to the heat, and when it cools it will contract thus breaking the corrosion bond between the threads. A similar method is to heat the area around the bolt to make the hole it is threaded into actually expand and open up a little bit so that the bolt fits a bit looser and can be threaded out. Use of an impact wrench/gun helps when initially breaking it loose since the force from the hammering of the impact wrench breaks the corrosion apart as well. Use penetrants like Kroil or CRC Freeze-Off to aid in the removal process.

3. Relief Cuts: This method is our “sure-fire” method for removing most stripped bolts and nuts. It isn’t as clean or civilized as the others, but it is a heck of a lot faster. With this method you will be putting two-three cuts in the bolt head or nut. The goal is to cut just enough that you are almost all the way through the head of the bolt or the nut. Then hit the cuts with a chisel and a hammer a few times, thus splitting the nut or bolt and relieving the tension on them. With nuts you can normally just split it off of the bolt, clean up the threads, and install a new nut. With bolts you can use some locking jaw pliers to grab the bolt head and turn the bolt out. Usually the relief cuts will let the pliers squeeze the head of the bolt enough that it turns out easily.

4. Rock The Bolt: This is another one to try early in the process, and in-conjunction with other methods. Using a ratchet and socket, slowly work the bolt or nut back and forth. Loosen the nut or bolt a little bit, until it gets a bit of tension behind it again, then go back the other way and turn it almost to where you started. Then loosen it a little bit further than last time. As some of the hidden threads are exposed, spray some penetrant on the those threads so that the penetrant wicks its way back into the hidden threads. It can be a slow process, but we’ve gotten some pretty stuck bolts out this way, just by using a little bit of patience.

5. Drill’er out: This is the same concept as the relief cuts with a couple small twists or surprises that can occur along the way. We like to use this one as one of our last ditch efforts. It may be the last resort if the bolt has broken off flush with the surface. Using a small drill bit, drill all the way through the bolt lengthwise. This uses a bit of the other methods too. It heats the bolt by drilling it, and it also makes a hollow portion in the bolt so it can contract more as you attempt to remove it. We’ve had times where just drilling the bolt will allow the frozen bolt to turn out quite easily. Other times you may have to keep stepping up your size of the drill bit until you are just a bit smaller than the diameter of the bolt. At this point you may be able to carefully chisel or break the bolt apart in the hole. Then extract the pieces and clean the threads back up with a tap set or a universal tap tool.

6. Weld’er Up: This is one that can be used if the nut or bolt head is so severely stripped it can’t turn it with locking jaw pliers, or if the head is completely broken off the bolt. Simply take a nut and a bolt of a slightly larger size, and tack weld it to the bolt body. Once you have it tack welded, fill the nut with weld and run a bead around the base of where it meets the bolt body. This allows you to put a socket on the bolt again, as well as puts heat into the bolt that will allow it to expand and contract, breaking some of the corrosion. We prefer to use a MIG welder to do this job as it allows for a little more control than with a stick welder.

7. Air Hammer/Chisel: This combines a few of the methods mentioned, and can be used when the bolt head is stripped. Basically, using an air hammer and chisel on the bolt or nut so that the bolt loosens. We have had it work with moderate success, but it helps if the bolt or nut is an open area.

8. Bolt or screw extractor: There are many styles of extractors, some work well, but many do not. They use hardened bits that grab into the inside of the bolt or nut to remove it. Many of these require you to drill a small hole in the bolt, then thread the extractor in. Whatever you do, DO NOT break the extractor off inside the hole, or you are in for a long, horrible process. These are hardened steel parts and normal drill bits will not work on them. Specialty drill bits are required to drill through the broken extractors.

9. Pipe Wrench: This is a pretty basic way to tackle a stripped bolt, and almost everyone has a pipe wrench kicking around their shop. Tighten the pipe wrench down on the bolt or nut. As you crank on the bolt with the pipe wrench, it actually grabs harder onto the bolt head.

10. Reinstall Surrounding Nut and Bolts: Sometimes a number of bolts in a area hold a part in place. Occasionally these are meant to be removed in a specific order. Make sure you check your repair manual for any installation/removal order. If no procedure exists, we like to work from the center to the outside. Reinstalling some of the bolts around the stuck bolt may take some of the force off of the stuck bolt and allow you to remove it.

Remember the installation we performed on Jeremiah Soto’s Dyna. We actually used D&D components on three Bonneville bikes and set two records. We installed lots of D&D exhaust systems on Bikernet shop projects over the years.

Jeremiah’s Dyna was one of them about four years ago and he’s been riding the streets of Los Angeles and out to Vegas numerous times. About a year ago he noticed his muffler moving around, and then he started to lose rivets. His model of D&D muffler was carbon fiber incased and any looseness tore the shit out of the carbon fiber.

He tried to call the company for help, but they dodged him. He tried replacing rivets and adding more. That helped, but then he discovered the muffler clamp had cracked. He had it welded.

That lasted a few months and it started to loosen again. Again, he contacted the company. The service agent ducked any knowledge of big twin bikes. He was a dirt bike guy, but he still let a couple of items slip from time to time, like something about the baffles breaking.

In the meantime Jeremiah constantly complained about his rattling D&D carbon fiber muffler. The aluminum rivets were failing. He asked for a new muffler but the boss wouldn’t talk to him.

He tried one more time with D&D but the service guy dodged him, but offered to talk to the boss, but the boss never responded. The service guy admitted that the baffles were popping loose, which added to the muffler failures and dangers that it could fly apart while splitting lanes on a Los Angeles freeway.

After Jeremiah returned from chasing his girlfriend he inspected the tacks and fitment.

 Kevin TIG welded the tube in place and re-welded the clamp, and off Jeremiah went to the store to buy VHS heat paint.

He gave it a couple of coats and backed it in his Bikernet Penthouse apartment oven over night. The next day he cleaned the slightly rusty pipe and the inside of the muffler. It slipped right into place and off he rode to chase his girlfriend once more.

Me and Cecily hopped in the car were on our way to Las Vegas once and we
stopped at a desert town that is a popular way-station for the Las Vegas hordes that
come and go to LV from SoCal.

It’s a hot gasping oven of a town and used to have just two eateries but time changes things and now there’s dozens. Time hasn’t changed a few things though and one of the places is kinda scary-lookin and attracts lifer inhabitants of unfactoryfresh motorcycles and their riders. I like to stop there because the Diet Cokes are always icy and the – it’s basically a dive bar – and the BTL’s whoever the fuck owns the place makes are monuments to bacon, lettuce, tomato and REALLY good bread. And the women that work there are salt-o’-the earth, unless you give them crap, And I don’t give crap to serving personnel, even if they have it coming. I’ve BEEN serving personnel: I know that customers are often begging to be murdered.

So we pull up, always against Cecily’s wishes since she is real uncomfortable around
Motorcyclists, who delight in appearing totally ruined. Until they start talking to her, which invariably happens. Then oh my, she gets this fucking glow of life because they make her think she’s who they have been waiting to talk to all their life. So anyway we’re
heading in there and there’s a lone biker with ID on the back of his “clothes” that
proclaims him to be one of the official Bad Boys. I ain’t sayin’ which men’s association he was in but the producers of Gangland would have been interested in sending out a film crew to follow the fellow.

So he’s there sitting sideways on his bike and smoking a cigar and we pull in and then one of his associates shows up looking worse than the first one as far as “viable life forms” is concerned and me and Cecily are heading their way on foot and then an SUV full of whatever is going to follow the generation of “millennials” pulls into the area and stops somewhere nearby on the property and five very energetic total assholes rush into the visible atmosphere from inside the SUV and come toward the entrance and they are all laughing at these two motorcyclists.

These two motorcyclists by the way were not at all “brawny” type lads. They were rail thin, very badly groomed coteured and quaffed and I would not have attempted to address either one of these two individuals under any circumstances I can think of. They did not at all look like they could possibly ride the bare-bones large bikes they were riding. But they were.

And they had no goggles, no thick leather garments, they were wearing actual motorcycle boots that looked older and worse than even them two and they had no wind inhibitors, no fenders, they had shit wrapped around sissy bars, gloves with no fingers……..

This told me a lotta things. The main one bein’ they were probably pissed off just from the eternal road debris they were subjecting themselves to night and day forget about what the fuck must have been goin’ on in their PERSONAL lives, which hadda be very fucking dangerous if not just out and out suicidal. Call it a hunch. But to the oncoming pack of idiots they LOOKED like useless vagrants too poor to have their own SUV’s. Or delirious wasted bums in other words.

I’m good in two languages: English and body language. The body language of the oncoming group of post-teens told me that they were a unit of semi-proficient sociopaths used to getting their own way in public via keeping everyone normal on edge.

The two bikers who both looked like they both had been chased off of morgue gurneys for looking too dead had the body language of feral ocelots with short fuses.

So these two semi-ghastly bikers are sitting on their parked bikes shooting the shit
and smoking cigars like they needed to use smoke for security blankets. I mean, they
were not nursing those stogies, they were seriously smoking their cigars.

We’re downwind and Cecily goes “PEEYOU!!!!!!!”

The two bikers dudes just look over at us comin’. I raise my eyes to heaven and
silently talk to jesus of nazareth king of the jews for a moment and then aloud I stop and
gesture with this kind of helpless arms-to-the-side thing and say, “Hey: It ain’t your fault
that on our side of those stogies they smell like 50 years of dried piss, shit, and puke in
a Boston subway. It’s the CIGARS’ fault.”

APPARENTLY this made sense to them. One of them I THINK almost smirked. Very hard to say.

Their reaction to the group oncoming from the opposite direction was different. One
of the crew who I shall name Stupid shouted, “Hey you fucking assholes, you’re fucking
up the environment with those things. Ain’t it illegal smoking cigars now in public?? Do
you think maybe you can take a moment to consider something other than yourselves
for once? Like, maybe the earth??? Do you think our planet LIKES what you’re
doing????”

Even I knew this was not something to be yelling about TO these two REGARDING
these two.

They’re – all five of them now – almost skipping in delight because one of them had
set the tone of the engagement and that that tone would be Hijinx and Hostility.

One of the bikers was apparently very comfortable with the hostility requirement
because he was off his bike and was running toward the speaker carrying a very large
wilderness knife with a thick metal handle but holding it backwards so that when he ran
against the fellow and the side of his fist with the little finger on it hit the fellow in the
forehead it was mainly the metal roundish knife handle that made contact.

He was unconscious before he even started the tilt earthward and by the time he was on the ground the thing that had put him there was standing near the body yelling “WAKE UP!”

This did not work. He then kicked him in the ribs and again shouted “WAKE UP!” He
started coming around but I think it was coincidental with the kicking not because of it. It wasn’t cause and effect. It was more like serendipity.

This inquiry went on for considerably more times than the two times already
mentioned. And when the person interrogated began screaming “I’M AWAKE YOU PRICK!!” the biker grunted “Good,” and pulled him to his feet.

One of his buddies decided to try and effect a rescue and grabbed the biker’s denim
sleeveless garment from the back at the same time seeing what was written on the back of the denim sleeveless garment and pulled his hands off at the same time the man in the denim sleeveless garment, without paying too much attention, pile drove his elbow into the fellow’s, I believe it was right, eye.

This put a great deal of fear into the man
because he had to suspect he was now probably permanently blind in it. I know I
suspected it.

Meanwhile the biker’s main target was now being held upright by the biker grabbing
at his clothes and lecturing him.

“You’re worried about the fucking earth? Is that what you’re worried about? The
earth? How old are you?” No response. “How old are you, shithead!!”

There was a garbled “Twenty three…..” The biker inquired, “How old is the fucking earth!!”

Seeing that no answer was even close to being on its way the biker yelled “It’s 5 billion years old. 23 years ago YOU showed up on it. If you make it past this interview you might live a total of 90 years. Probably tops. Then you’ll be gone and the earth will hang around for at least ANOTHER four billion years……and YOU’RE worried about IT!

The earth is four billion years old and you’re 23……and YOU think IT’S in trouble! And that I’M the REASON. Shit, you got here just in TIME apparently!! Meanwhile while you’re worried about how I am going to damage a planet 25 thousand miles in diameter with my
cigar…. the fucking EARTH is going to threaten YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE with
tornadoes, floods, hurricanes, volcanoes, drought, starvation, disease, bugs, micro
bugs, gravity, frost, fucking fire, avalanches, deadly animals, poisonous plants,
poisonous fish, poisonous spiders, poisonous snakes, poisonous fucking lizards,
poisonous goddamn FROGS…..and you think my cigar is going to hurt the planet.

ACTUALLY…..my cigar is going to hurt YOU. When I put it out in your fucking
mouth…..and then I’m going to toss it and it will become chemistry for some goddamn
new poisonous plant to eat and grow healthy on!!”

He then started to move the burning end of the cigar towards his face at the same
time his buddy, in a grand display of fake concern, pulled the fellow away, like they had
been involved this very performance or ones just like it a trillion times before. The five
musketeers, suddenly understanding that their world of collegiate harassment was not
in the league of Real Life Berserkers, retreated to the SUV, shuffling quickly sideways all the while, saying things like they – the bikers – would be sorry.

I proceeded into the cafe place holding Cecily’s arm, putting me between her and
them and looking at them and I said, like a scolding elder, heading inside, “I hope you
both have learned your lesson.”

“It won’t happen again. We promise,” the non-combatant said calmly, after what I
thought was an uncomfortably long pause. Uncomfortably for me, you understand.
Once inside and settled Cecily said, “I don’t know why you keep stopping here.”

I looked at her amazed. “You GOTTA be kidding,” I said in disbelief.

As a serial biker dater who’s secretly proud of her hard-earned status, I’d like to share my wisdom with the world and all those girls out there whose hearts skip a beat at the thought of being in the same room with single bikers. Keeping in mind that women have incredible power over men because men just can’t resist us, I’d like to draw your attention to the fact that biker men are also bad boys, and require a special kind of strategy, which I meticulously outline below so no detail gets overlooked.

If your biker crush is crazy about you but doesn’t know it yet, there are a few things you can do to attract his attention. First and foremost, make eye contact with him only to break it after about two seconds. Try looking down and then up through your eyelashes for an added sexy effect, and then immediately look away. Keep your eyes on him long enough to make an impression, but not too long to show you really care whether he likes you or not. Ultimately, bikers like girls who give them a run for their money and make them work for it, which means you shouldn’t give him your heart on a silver platter, at least not in the beginning.

Being a biker equals being a badass, and a guy like that doesn’t go for the girls who blend in with the crowd. Your petrolhead crush doesn’t like girls who try to look, act, or think like everyone else so if you have an unusual sense of humor, hobby or interest stick to it instead of being ashamed. Bad boys like girls with strong personalities who have a lot going for them. If you’re not like a bunch of other ladies he’s used to meeting, even if you have a quirky side he’ll be that much more interested in getting to know you better.

More often than not, bikers run into people who are intimidated by them because they think bad boys are too cool to give them the time of day. If you want to grab his attention for all the right reasons, the best thing you can do is show him you’re not afraid of him. Think of it as coming face-to-face with a wild beast – if you show fear, it’ll have you for lunch. When your biker says something to you, don’t just smile and look away. Instead, stand even taller and speak back, finish your sentences, and always speak your mind. Show him you’re his equal instead of being just another girl willing to bend at his will.

Find the right balance between flirting and ignoring him just a little to show you’ve got better things to do than to spend your time talking to him until you’re both blue in the face. If the two of you find yourselves chatting and having a great time, don’t run up to him and give him a big hug the next time you see him. Instead, give him some time to walk up to you and chat you up. The reason for this is simple – bikers don’t like girls who are too available. Obviously, don’t ignore him too much so he thinks you’re not interested, and keep in mind you don’t have to be rude in this game either.

It’s been a wild couple of weeks. The goal this year was to slow down, but that isn’t happening. We are scrambling to reconfigure all of the Bikernet web sites, trying to get someone to make a movie around one of my crappy books, not go broke and build the first streamlined trike in the shop.

We jammed over to Harbor Freight a couple of times. Kevin calls it “Chinatown” because most of the Harbor Freight shit is made in China. We bought this tubing roller. It comes with three mandrel sizes, none of which are spot on. We started rolling our thick wall tubing. Ya see, Kevin’s tubing bender doesn’t have the mandrels to bend tubing basically in a circle. We needed something more and a cheap version was available through Chinatown.

The roller worked and didn’t work. It twisted the tubing, snake like. But first I had to make a mounting bracket or bench mount. Again, something that has been laying around the shop for a decade worked out perfectly. I drilled a couple of holes in it, and presto, we had a vice mount. Then we started hunting for shims to tighten up the rolling machine and ultimately it started to roll evenly. You can see the results.

Our team expanded significantly, and lots changed and progressed in the last week or so. Micah McCloskey, a bike builder and shop owner for 40 years, came over. I needed to interview him for a Cycle Source Magazine feature. He immediately fell in love with the Salt Torpedo and became an active team member.

Since our frame builder and TIG welder, Kevin Kahl, of the Hot Rod Underground, has a minor health issue we work every other day for about six hours. In between, I scramble to keep the lights on, purchase materials, hunt for parts and search for resources. That’s my job and I’m sticking with it.

In addition, Charles Cabong, the owner of Strictly Hawgs, has become a major help and this week drove to Bassani’s to pick up a bare pipe to work with.

Kevin has a connection with Viking Shocks, an automotive and performance car shock builder. I spoke to the Prince the other day and he immediately pointed me at Yelvington shocks. We were thinking a mono-shock approach to fit inside the body.

Last week, with the help of Charles and Mitch, our fiberglass experts, we connected the front portion to the chassis to the Paughco frame. Kevin was dying to cut more portions of the Paughco frame away. I could tell he had that “Make it all mine,” gleam in his eyes. We obliged and cut the rest of the backbone away, spread the remaining front legs and attached them to front section to the frame.

We kept a mantra in mind throughout this process. We wanted to be able to take the engine in and out readily and make lots of triangles in the chassis for strength. Our first notion was to make the top backbone of the frame removable.

We stayed true to that concept and made progress this week. We needed to stay absolutely flexible, since this puppy is the first of its kind and hell, we don’t know what the fuck we’re doing most of the time. Here’s an example: A mono-shock sounded like a terrific notion until we spoke to the engineer from Yelvington Shocks.

Here’s what Mike said, “Regarding the work I have done with Bonneville racers, I noticed you will experience an oscillation side-to-side with a mono shock. If you can package two shocks, it will stabilize the rear end. Turbulence is created as the air moves across the two front wheels.” Actually, he wasn’t working with a configuration such as ours, but we took his words as a sign from above and decided to implement the notion.

Micah has taken on the duties of following up on the driveline needs with JIMS and others. I spoke to Scott at BDL about the primary drive and clutch. Charles brought a sprocket and seal spacer, and I ordered a nut and locking ring from Bartels.

I ordered an intake manifold from S&S and it promptly arrived. We installed a top motor mount to our carefully hand-built backbone. The design was perfect to allow as much room as possible to give us access to the engine. We also installed the Custom Cycle Engineering rubber-mounted, top motor mount system. It’s cumbersome but amazing.

Micah also suggested a removable panel on the lower left side in conjunction with the primary drive. That way, we can take the engine out to the right. We’re still clamoring for more notions.

We are working with Paughco on a Shovelhead swingarm. We will shorten it for the front. We are still looking forward to some suspension in the front and I spoke to Yelvington about it today. They think my plan will work. Charles is checking trike axle widths against Can Ams and any other trikes we can find at a Power Sports Mega-Store.

The Metalsport rear 180-wheel started to get in the way from a couple of standpoints. The spacing for the sprocket could be an issue. The spacing for the dual caliper large rotor could be an issue. The width could be an issue with the body. We climbed on top of the Bikernet Clean Room for an alternative and found an early sized spoke wheel, although, I’m going to try to exchange the aerodynamic, Chip Foose-designed Metalsport Wheel with a smaller size.

We are also constantly reconfiguring the shop. When our master frame builder throws challenges at us, we try to make whatever happen, quick. We were trying to use my old Chinese milling machine for notching the tubing and Kevin complained about the vice. “I need a class vice, like a Kirk,” Kevin said.

Later that day as I worked on the vice from the drill press on another shop bench, Kevin came over to complain and leaned on the vice bolted to the corner of the steel bench. “What the hell,” Kevin spat. “This is exactly what I needed.” We removed it and the mill is working like a champ. I put the shitty little vice on the bench.

Hang on for the next report; we’re scrambling to try to have this puppy making laps around the block in February.

Sponsors:

Jim’s Machine

Hot Rod Underground

Paughco

BDL

Strictly Hawgs

MetalSport Wheels

Custom Cycle Engineering

LowBrow

S&S

Bassini Exhausts

Twin Power

Lucky Devil Metal Works

I can’t resist the temptation to brag to you about my new cobbler which I found after reading a zillion Yelps and asking around and researching the shit out of everything boots and boot repair ….

I know, too much time sunk into that endeavor when there’s wrenchin’ to be done and parts to be chased down at swap meets. But, my old cobbler who used to be in Laguna Beach, vanished out of thin air. Gone without a trace …no forwarding number, nuthin’. What the hell?!

He was a cool guy, an old-school Harley rider by the name of Denny who had a little shop right on PCH by the name of Cobbler’s Corner. He rode a molded Road King and had a past in an M/C in Arizona… And he always spoke my language, whether on jackets, boots or bags; anything you wanted made righteous, he was your man.

No, smartass, I didn’t mean that in an “alternative lifestyle” way! He was an original and a damned good cobbler with mega gnarly hands to show for it… Had been in that game for eons but still seemingly not close to retirin’ age.

But what the hell do I know about how much someone has hidden in the mattress. Anyway, like I sez, he up and split. Maybe he’s roamin’ the country tryin’ to dig up the old Captain America bike in some barn in the mid-west. Either that, or he’s down Mexico way endeavoring to talk the national assembly into payin’ for da wall. Or maybe he’s in Havana conferring with Raul Castro over a good cigar about the benefits of joining the Union.

Who knows… In any event, after my flailing about for a bit, this new guy, Victor, in Santa Ana (Victor’s Shoe Repair) came highly recommended by my buddies at the Red Wing shoe store in Lake Forest, so I went with that ’cause I figured they wouldn’t give me a bum steer. But I gotta’ tell ya’ – loving my boot’s and not lovin’ the thought of going with a new, completely unknown-to-me guy, I felt like a drunken gambler at a rigged card game giving him those walkers.

But lo and behold, I just got my boots back from him after only a couple days time, and I’m as happy as a teenager after his first whore house visit, ’cause he done good – real good!

As alluded to above, ‘O Swami, it’s been a long process of me investigating and researching what all I can put on them Chippewa’s ’cause Chippewa wouldn’t sell me the original soles as they don’t furnish a service like that. This is in sharp contrast to Red Wing where you can actually even send your boots straight to Red Wing in Minnesota and have THEM resole ’em for ya’ for around one hundred American!

Anyway, I had decided on the Vibram 430 mini-lug sole and heel. So I instructed señor Victor accordingly. And sure enough, he re-constructed the whole bottom-end, stitching the setup together through the welt like a proper Goodyear Welted boot should be put together.

The craftsmanship of it looks pretty much flawless, at least to me. Particularly at 75 bucks! Then he also riveted that hasp & staple brass setup onto my old Garage Leathers swingarm bag, utilizing aged patina brass rivets he gets in L.A.

So now, when I’m out of range of my bike with my three-five-seven, the ambition of some long fingered bastard to get into my stash is dampened by that padlock. So I’m sittin’ here pretty damned happy about something sort of small like those items.

(Wonder what George or Brad is doing right now?). But they’re victories nonetheless.

Certainly, if you can resole boots that are already nicely broken in, you’re always ahead, in my opinion, ’cause they feel just like home and have taken on character.

Sure, you could go buy new ones, but aside from the extra expense, why? I think that somewhere in there, there is some notion about being anti-throwaway society. I can just see you and Rogue nodding in agreement while enjoying your Maker’s Mark for breakfast.

One more thing: like I mentioned, it’s easier said than done to find an outfit, who understands this whole deal. Like, get this: I take them boots to “Sam’s Shoes” here in downtown San Clemente, and the idiot behind the counter tells me with a straight face that they can “just glue some rubber soles on top of the old ones.” What?! Noooo you man-boobed dip shit, that’s NOT what you do with a Goodyear Welted boot!

You take the outsoles off of them, and then you attach and sew new soles on ’em ALL THE WAY THROUGH the welt AND the sole. And if you have to take out the midsole and re-build the cork embedded in IT, or even reconstruct the whole deal all the way up to the welt to where it’s all taken apart lookin’ like a moccasin in a tepe, then so be it ’cause that’s what a REAL cobbler does, see! So I just walked outta’ there shaking my head.

What the hell, man?! I felt like shoving one of them colorful rainbow hippie surfer sandals they had on sale right down his throat for being so goddamned clueless. But I’m a peaceful man, to a point. These people call themselves shoemakers? Ha! Soon to be lost art at this rate, brother…

Anyway, I guess I just had to share all that and these pictures of Victor‘s work — my almost 20-year-old boots feel perfect.

Chippewa USA – As rugged as the land you walk! Yes sir! Very, very grippy soles now …just superb, and I can’t wait to get on the Hog again when the rains let up ’cause these fit me like a glove, as they always did …after the first week of break-in back in 1999.

I even jumped on both bikes in da garage, playing around with the shifter and brake pedal and the feel and “dexterity” is as good as ever in these here beauties. All is well on the western front. It’s not much that beats good old true American craftsmanship and that old-school look and feel. They can keep all that newfangled shit (at least as far as motorcycle gear goes) …it don’t matter if we’re talkin’ jackets, boots, gloves, you name it — it ain’t me, and it certainly ain’t you neither, and never will be. That much I know, or a huge heard of buffalo ain’t grazing in the shadows of the Tetons as this is written.

By the way, the Vibram sole story is a cool tale all by itself. Founded in Italy in 1937 by Vitale Bramani (Vibram, get it?) and still going strong, world-wide. Lastly, yes ‘O great Swami and motorcycle God who reigns supreme over all of Bikerdom from Bikernet World Headquarters in San Pedro, Cali-forn-I-A, I am fully aware that you know a thing or two, or three about boots and proper care of same, courtesy of your days in the Navy.

Ride Forever,

–Andreas
Midnight Express Motorcycle Co.,
San Clemente, California – USA

Nominee No. 1 (San Jose Mercury News):

An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend’s windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2 (Kalamazoo Gazette):

James Burns, 34, a mechanic from Alamo MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a “farm-type truck.” Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns’ clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns “wrapped in the drive shaft”.

Nominee No. 3 (Hickory Daily Record):

Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but instead grabbed a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

Nominee No. 4 (UPI, Toronto):

Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students.

Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was “one of the best and brightest members of the 200-man association.”

Nominee No. 5 (The News of the Weird):

Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting execution in South Carolina’s electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

Nominee No. 6 (The Indianapolis Star):

A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff’s investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents’ rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

Nominee No. 7 (Reuters – Mississauga, Ontario):

A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. “Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred,” said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. “It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony.”

Finally, THE WINNER! (Arkansas Democrat Gazette):

Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole’s pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.

The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting a bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.

After traveling approximately 20 miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.

Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. “Thank God we weren’t on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead,” stated Wallis.

“I’ve been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can’t believe that those two would admit how this accident happened,” said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole ‘s wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and if anyone got them from the truck?

Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool.