Continued From Page 3
TOTS REPORT FROM A RIDIN’ MARINE– I was shocked and outraged when I read the “Toys for Tots” e-mail beingforwarded around the biker community. Shocked that bikers would be criticalof the Marine Reservist donating countless hours of their time to collectand distribute toys for underprivileged children in their local community,and outraged at the out right lie that these toys were shipped over seas!
For the record, my name is James Watson. I have been the proud owner andenthusiastic rider of Harley-Davidson motorcycles since 1989. And, I evenknow, have ridden with, and partied with quite a few of the people I sawthis e-mail being passed around by.
I am also currently the Commanding Officer of the Marine Corps ReserveUnit in Tampa, Florida, and I can personally testify that none of the toyscollected by the Marine Corps Reserves leaves the local area in which it wascollected. In fact, in Tampa alone last Christmas we collected over 250,000toys, sorted them into stacks categorized by age and gender, andredistributed them to needy families. I’m sure it’s hard for any of you toeven begin to imagine the number of people and hours it took to accomplishthis feat. Especially since I don’t recall any of you busting your ass onyour day off helping us!
Before you criticize others who are doing a good deed perhaps each of youneed to look in the mirror and ask yourself, “when (if ever) was the lasttime I did an unselfish good deed for others in my community.” And no,buying one toy and going for a ride on your bike with your buddies does notqualify!
As for the fight that almost occurred over the toys that you claim to havepurchased to donate to a charity and then attempted to take back. I can onlysay that I am truly disappointed in the Marines for not kicking your ass.Although I must admit it must have taken quite a bit of restraint, and thatis impressive in itself. Personally, if I were leaving the Toys for Totsevent to go to the cancer center I would not be so damn cheap as to try tosteal a few of the toys donated in an effort to avoid spending a couple ofdollars on more toys for the children at the cancer center. Now to address the final issue of the name “Toys for Tots”. I am notfamiliar with the law suite the e-mail addressed; however, I do know thatthe Marine Corps Reserves has created a non-profit organization titled Toysfor Tots for legal/tax reasons to run the program nation wide, and has usedthe name for well over a decade. As for it being generic, you sir areincorrect. All the other biker toy runs, collection points, and events thatuse the name “Toys for Tots” donate the toys they collect from the event orcollection point to the Marine Corps Reserves program. The reason it appearsto have become so generic is because we have done such a fantastic jobcreating so many of these events throughout the county. This would accountfor the phenomenal number of toys we have collected and distributed to theunderprivileged. I have no idea how many toys we collected nation wide lastyear; however, I believe we have well over 300 reserve training centers inthe United States, and if my center collected over 250,000 toys alone…well you do the math!
Oh by the way, how many toys did you say you collected at your event? I donot recall reading a number.
— Yours in service to our great nation,
Major J.L. Watson, USMCR
If you want one, I believe there’s a waiting list !!!–from Down Under Ray
BIKERNET MEDICAL ADVICE– Mr. Smith goes to the doctor’s office to collect his wife’s test results. The lab tech says to him, “I’m sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife’s. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible!”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other > for AIDS. We can’t tell which is your wife.”
“That’s terrible! Can we do the test over?”
“Normally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they won’t pay for these expensive tests more than once.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do now?”
“The HMO recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don’t sleep with her.”
BIKETOBERFEST REPORT–If you are going to Biketoberfest in October here’s a little gig for ya to goto.
10th Master’s Custom Bike Show, Friday, October 19, 2001 from 11:00 to 4:00.$500 in prize money. This is one that (Hamster) Tom Anderson puts on. Livemusic, food & drinks, tiki bars, inside & outside pools. It’s helpd at theGrand Seas Resort at 2424 N Atlantic Avenue. The show is on the pool deck. ?This is sponsored by 2 Wheelers (Arlin Fatland), Crystal Motorsports, XtremeCustom Cycles, and ?Hot Leathers.
Call 253-795-5895 for further information.
CORRECTION TO BIKERNET ATTACK STATEMENT–I’m angry, sad and fearful of what the days ahead will bring. Like everyone, I am still in a state of shock and disbelief. Thank you for posting my comments, I hope they were taken in the spirit in which they were written.?
Not to nit-pick on this terrible day, but both Mailman and my son said the reference to the sleeping lion was supposed to be the following quote (in red):
On December 7, 1941, Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto?s plan for attacking Pearl Harbor was put into effect, despite his objections. After the attack, while the other Japanese commanders were celebrating their victory, Yamamoto told a fellow officer, “I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant, and fill it with a desire for vengeance.”
-Helen
SALOON NEWS–A guy walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s up with the jar?”
“Well, you pay ten dollars and, if you pass three tests, you get all the money.”
The man certainly isn’t going to pass this up.”What are the three tests?”
“Pay first,” says the bartender. “Those are the rules.
“So the man give him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.
“OK,” the bartender says, “here’s what you need to do. First you have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila… the whole thing, all at once… and you can’t make a face while doing it. Second, there’s a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there’s a 90 year-old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You’ve gotta make things right for her.”
The man is stunned. “I know I paid my 10 bucks, but I’m not an idiot! I won’t do it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things …”
“Your call,” says the bartender, “but your money stays where it is.
“As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks, “Wherez zat teeqeelah?” He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn’t make a face. Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon, all the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on outside.
They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then…. silence. Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large, bloody scratches all over his body.”Now,” he says, “where’s the old woman with the sore tooth?”
–From Geno, HORSE magazine
MOTORCYCLE RIDERS FOUNDATION OFFICE CLOSED–Effective immediately, the Motorcycle Riders Foundation office inWashington, DC will be closed until further notice. In light of thenational emergency that is taking place, and in keeping with thegovernment’s request to keep the phone lines clear, please do not try tocontact the office. Preparations for the upcoming Meeting of the Minds willcontinue, but the DC office will be closed for the time being.Beverly Waters and Tom Wyld are fine. They both made it into the officethis morning, but have since left and, for safety’s sake, will not returnfor an indefinite period of time.Please join us in keeping the family members and friends of the thousandsof victims of this senseless tragedy in your thoughts and prayers.Teri Hobbs, Assistant Director of Communications, MRF
MOTORCYCLE CONFISCATED–well it happened during the Laughlin river run thisyear. It was parked and locked in a casino parkinglot. The metro police from Nevada ran a check throughNCI and it came up stolen according to them. This bikehas been stopped before and the numbers ran and cameup clean. They say the #’s on the frame don’t match. Alawyer was retained and said to go to Vegas and pickit up well the cop that took the bike came roaring uphad him up against the car and accused him of knowingthe bike is stolen.
He said, “The nexttime you see this bike I’ll be riding it,” then added”I was just kidding” (covering his ass). It so happensa lawyer was needed for the motorcycle because that’swho the case is against not the owner. Is that unrealor what? Anyway I’ll have to get back to you with theother details and what’s happening now if anything.
–Rogue
CHROME SPECIALITIES OFFERS LEGEND AIR SHOCKS– Legend Air Ride Suspension System For Softail ModelsAdjustable air ride suspension allows complete control of your bike’s rideheight and load carrying capacity. Now you can have a smooth ride withoutbottoming whether riding solo, or two-up and loaded for touring. Up to 700lbs load capacity with NO bottoming!
The Legends system also allows yourrear fender to have a tire hugging profile when parked or cruising down theboulevard, or raised for suspension travel on rough roads and highways.Legend air suspensions are complete kits and include compressor, gauge withhandlebar mount, switches, installation hardware and instructions. Availablein chrome or black anodized finish. Optional rocker box gauge mount soldseparately.
? Components machined from 6061-T6 aluminum.
? Direct bolt-on replacement for stock style Softail shocks.
? Lowers bike 3″ at the touch of a button.
? Ride height is adjustable on the go.
? Small on-board compressor mounts behind transmission using existing mounting holes.
? Dual Kevlar based air springs.
? Installs in 1 to 1-1/2 hours – no special tools required.
? Fits all Softail models 1989-1999. Kits can be vendor modified to fit 1984-1986 Softail (unit must be sent to vendor after purchase, information included in kits).
? Hardware and Instructions includedNot for 2000-up Softail models.
220500 Black finish Retail $1,595.00
220505 Chrome finish Retail $1,795.00Accessories
220510 Chrome rocker box gauge mountretail $109.99
Continued On Page 4
