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BIKERNET LAUNCHES 2004 NEW MODELS–The rubbermounted Sportsters are next on the list. The hot new item for 2004– Rubbermounted Sportsters, will completely turn the line upside down. Hang on.
New map of Iraq.
FELONS MUST SERVE MORE OF THEIR SENTENCES–TALLAHASSEE — It’s not just criminals who pay when politicians get tough on crime. Taxpayers do, too.A Florida Today analysis shows that while some advocates and lawmakers blame a glut of drug offenders for Florida’s prison population boom, the explosion actually was touched off by anti-crime legislation.
Since 1995 when Florida began requiring all prison inmates serve at least 85 percent of their sentences, the time most inmates spend behind bars has tripled, even as the punishments judges hand out decreased.
Sentences for most crimes are actually down, the analysis found. The average drug offender in 1994 was sentenced to 3.6 years; last year, it was 3 years. But inmates today serve more of their sentences.
Legislative analyst Richard Stevens said most judges take today’s tougher prison release policies into account when they sentence criminals. “They started giving shorter sentences,” he said.
Looked at another way, taxpayers spent $29,468 per inmate sent to prison in 1988, based on today’s cost of $48.15 per inmate per day.
The bill for inmates released in July was $52,290 on average, and $74,247 for violent offenders.
It’s a bargain, said Sen. Victor Crist, a Tampa Republican who spearheaded the legislation when he was in the House.
“It costs a lot more money for them to commit crimes on the street,” Crist said.
Longer sentences mean more crowded prisons, and a bigger market for the private prison industry, said Alan Duffee, executive director of the Correctional Privatization Commission that oversees Florida’s five private prisons.
“We are . . . deeply troubled that the private prison industry has actively supported institutions that lobby for harsher sentencing laws, which increase the prison population,” reads an April statement by Catholic Bishops of the South. The organization represents bishops from 12 southern states, including Florida. The statement was signed by all bishops in Florida.
By Paige St. JohnAlisa LaPolt contributed to this report. FLORIDA TODAY
–from Rogue
AGAIN BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP ADVICE–Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tellsLuther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only thisyear I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I tookyour advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii.
I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline gotpregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlinedidn’t get pregnantagain.”
Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’sdifferent?”
Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Earline with me.
–from Rev CarlR
THREE LESSON IN HOW TO LOSE YOUR JOB
–from Chris T.
THE CONDOM–The government announced today that it is changing its emblem to acondom because it more clearly reflects the government’s politicalstance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys thenext generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense ofsecurity while you’re actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn’t get more accurate than that
–from Joan C.
Senator Ben “NightHorse” Campbell, needs your help.
AIM LEGISLATIVE NEWS–Every other week we publish mostly legislative news sponsored by A.I.M. Watch for the updates in the Biker’s Rights Section of Bikernet. Here’s a taste of the latest report from Bill Bish. Take a minute to touch on the AIM banner and sign up, it’s free, for their free legal protection.
MOTORCYCLE SAFETY EFFORT NEEDS YOUR HELP United States Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell (R-CO) has introduced a resolution in Congress to designate May 2004 as National Motorcycle Safety and Awareness Month, but your help is needed to get the measure adopted. Please contact your U.S. Senators and request that they support Senate Resolution 168, and make our federal legislators aware of motorcyclists’ overwhelming support for this effort.
Although virtually every state and major municipality has issued “Motorcycle Awareness” proclamations over the past several years, no such Congressional resolution has ever been passed to bring national awareness to motorcycle safety.
Campbell has been riding for more than 50 years and has been a champion for motorcyclists’ issues on the federal level, including serving on the NCOM Legislative Task Force.
BACK TO BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP ADVICE– Question: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn’t be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand onto change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS HOUSE!
I’m sorry…. What was the question?
–from Jay H.
THE TRIKE BARBECUE OR THE BARBECUED TRIKE–Here’s something we did a few years ago. You might find it interesting. Ihave many more pictures, if you want.
–LDT
SONS OF LIBERTY RIDERS E-NEWS– MRF Distributes EPA Story Via National Wire Service:The Motorcycle Riders Foundation (MRF) distributed news about theEnvironmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) answer to Congressmen Shimkus(R-Illinois) and Strickland (D-Ohio) via USNewswire this morning. Thisnational wire service distribution was made possible thanks to the generousdonations last year of the MRF’s partners in the EPA fight. The MRF wouldonce again like to thank those organizations and individuals whose donationsmade possible the “Vaughn Study” and news alerts such as the one sent thismorning.
The MRF has argued for more than three years that the EPA’s proposedemissions regulations for street motorcycles will have an extremely negativeimpact on small businesses such as aftermarket parts manufacturers andsmall-volume motorcycle makers. Subsequently, American Motorcycle DealerMagazine (AMD) warned those small businesses in its July ’03 issue ofPRO-GUIDE #3 – AFTERMARKET EXHAUSTS about the serious implications of thisproposed rule.
In an article written by AMD Editor Richard Burton that appeared on pages 4& 5 of the AMD PRO-GUIDE #3, Mr. Burton warns, “Unfortunately, the EPA’sproposals pose a threat to the much-relied on aftermarket, as well as thevast cottage industry of other small businesses involved with the v-twinsector, including small-volume bike manufacturers.” To view Mr. Burton’sarticle in its entirety, visit the MRF website at www.mrf.org/epa.php.
Naturally, the EPA’s proposed street bike emissions regulations will be ahot topic at this year’s MRF Meeting of the Minds, which will begin laterthis week in Green Bay, Wisconsin. It is not too late to register to attendthis annual conference. In fact, you can register by either calling the MRFoffice today at 202-546-0983 or on-site beginning Thursday, September 18,2003. If you are unable to attend, you can still listen in on generaldiscussions about the EPA, health care discrimination, and thereauthorization of the Transportation Equity Act of the 21st Century viaINBRadio through live broadcasts by visiting www.inbradio.com.
Michigan may the next helmet choice state
Michigan Senate Bill 321, introduced by Senators Cropsey, Barcia, Leland,Patterson, Prusi, Stamas, Jelinek, McManus and Schauer and referred to theCommittee on Transportation, provides exceptions to requirement of wearingmotorcycle crash helmet if successfully completed motorcycle safety course.
SB 321 aims at putting Michigan among the 31 other states thathave restored the long-standing fundamental belief of both AMA and ABATE ofMichigan that adults should continue to have the right to voluntarily decidewhen to wear a helmet.
You can find all of your Senators contact information athttp://senate.michigan.gov/SenatorInfo/find-your-senator.htm, or by mail at:Michigan Senate, State Capitol, PO Box 30036, Lansing, MI, 48909-7536.
Pennyslvania working to increase penalties for right-of-way violations
Pennsylvania’s House Bill 181, introduced by Representative Teresa Forcier(R-Titusville) to increase penalties for right-of-way violations that causeinjury or death to other roadway users has stalled in committee.
This billis consistent with model legislation included in the AMA’s MotorcyclistsMatter campaign,Your letter in support of HB-181 should be addressed to The HonorableRichard A. Geist, Chairman, House Transportation Committee, Main CapitolBuilding, Room 144, Harrisburg, PA 17120-2020.
You may also contactRepresentative Geist in his Harrisburg office via telephone at 717-787-6419or fax at 717-772-5142, or his district office in Altoona via telephone at814-946-7218 or fax at 814-949-7915.An additional letter in support of HB-181 should be addressed to yourrepresentative at the Pennsylvania House of Representatives, CapitolBuilding, House Box 202020, Harrisburg, PA 17120-2020.Your support for HB-181 is needed NOW to make sure Pennsylvania motoristsand courts know that ‘Motorcyclists Matter.’
TEXANS IN HEAVEN–Gabriel came to the Lord and said ” I have to talkto you. We have some Texans up here in Heaven who arecausing problems. They’re swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing,barbeque sauce is all over their robes,their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they’rewearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of theirhalos. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean. There arewatermelon seeds and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them arewalking around with just one wing.”
The Lord said, “I made them special, Gabriel. Heavenis Home to all my children. If you really want to knowabout real problems, let’s call the Devil.”
The Devil answered the phone, ” Hello? Damn, hold onminute.”The Devil returned to the phone, “O.K., I’m back. Whatcan I do for you?”
The Lord replied, “I just want to know what kind ofproblems you’re having down there.”
The Devil said, “Hold on again. I need to check onsomething.”After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phoneand said, “I’m back. Now what was the question?”
The Lord said, “What kind of problems are you havingdown there?”
The Devil said, “Man, I don’t believe this….Hold on,Lord.”
This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devilreturned and said , “I’m sorry Lord, I can’t talkright now. Them damn Texans done put out the fireand are trying to install air conditioning.”
–from Rev CarlR
ADVANCE CUSTOM PAINTING BOOK–New from legendary painter Jon Kosmoski comes the book: Advanced Custom Painting Techniques. Over 350 photos by well-known photographer Tim Remus bring to life Jon?s explanations of panel preparation, gun control, kandy application, use of color-change materials, new metallic basecoats, and how to design and tapeout complex layouts.Whether your painting projects ride on two wheels or four, this how-to book from Jon Kosmoski is sure to answer your questions. Four start-to-finish sequences take you into Jon?s shop and illustrate each step in the process.Printed in color, this 144 page book is available for $24.95 + $5.50 S+H (in the US) from Wolfgang Publications. Order by mail at: 1310 Sunny Slope Ln, Stillwater, MN 55082; By phone at: 651 275 9411, or on the web at: wolfgangpublications.com.
FINAL BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP ADVICE–
Q: What should you do if you see yourex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.
Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A: When you can just barely slip your finger in betweenhis neck and the noose.
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they’re practicing to be men.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One – he just holds it up there and waits for the worldto revolve around him.
OR Three — one to screw in the bulb, and two to listento him brag about the screwing part.
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gaspingfor breath and calling your name?
A: You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women.
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to”Instruction Manuals”
–from Redhorse
That’s about enough of that bullshit. I say we need a batch of blonde jokes.–Bandit
WE’RE BURNIN’ DAYLIGHT–Let’s post this rag-tag bunch of scrap and get to the garage. In short order we’ll post another King Tech, a feature on this ’39 WLDR restored by Randy Simpson at Milwaukee Iron, the Beach Ride bike build is coming up along with more Sturgis and Milwaukee reports from Frank Kaisler.
Let’s hope the storm peters out on the east coast, so our brothers and sisters can ride a while before winter sets in. I’ve got to jump into the garage and hammer sheet metal, the deadline approaches.
Ride Forever,
–Bandit
