Movie still from Angels Die Hard from 1970 thanks to Bob T.
This is one of those stinking days. I had a root canal on Tuesday because I ran out of Jack Daniels and pain killers on Monday. I was crawling the walls. Since the operation I’ve been in a daze trying to decide if I’m high or in pain. Sin Wu strolled into the shop, bouncing on lickable toes and flashed a new teddy in my direction under her robe. All I could ponder was that at the beginning of the week I had one terrible tooth ache and now my entire jaws throbs. Besides I said, “Aren’t you flying through your evil spell of the month, beautiful?”She dropped her robe right in front of me and snapped, “does it look like it?” Damn, she was wearing that silky Victoria Secret teddy without another damn thing… We better get to the news:
THE EPA AND MOTORCYCLES–On Wednesday, August 14, 2002 the EPA officially released a notice of proposed rulemaking for the ?Control of Emissions From Spark-Ignition Marine Vessels and Highway Motorcycles?. What does this mean to us?
For quite some time now, whenever the subject of the EPA attacking the motorcycling community, the responses most heard were ?they?ve been saying that for years?, ?it will never happen here? or ?they?ll never do that?! ?
Well. It?s here. If you have any doubts, go check out the new bikes and see how they?re equipped. A lot of them, about 20%, have catalytic converters now. For instance, Honda advertises that the 2003 ST1300 meets CARB (California Air Research Board) standards for 2008. It also has two catalytic converters. The EPA is proposing that these standards be enforced nationwide even though they are not needed. At the present time, motorcycles only account for .06 percent of motor vehicle emissions nationwide.
So what?s the problem? The big problem is that the average independent shop or small volume bike builder usually doesn?t have the resources to build a motorcycle that will be able to meet these strict standards. And modifying new motorcycles built to meet these standards is illegal. In a press release, the EPA served us notice that ?Motorcycle owners may make cosmetic changes such as the color and chrome?. The existing, but largely un-enforced ?Clean Air Act? prohibits any ?tampering? with emission control devices. For instance, it?s illegal to drill out the little plug that covers the idle-mixture screw on current carbureted bikes. It?s also why Harley puts a little asterisk next to a lot of the Screamin? Eagle parts designating that they are for race use only (wink, wink).
Enforcement will be a big part of the strict EPA standards. Simply put, the EPA has only two ways of seeing that the Clean Air Act is obeyed – device or decree.
Device – One example of a device is the aforementioned plug blocking an idle mixture screw. Other examples that have been discussed are, for example, shear bolts that break off when somebody attempts to remove an exhaust pipe and sealed engine assemblies that need to be returned to the manufacturer for repair. Imagine not being able to take a set of cylinders to your local machine shop to be bored, not being able to have valve and port work performed, and not even being allowed to install even a mild performance camshaft.
Decree ? Simply put, making it ?against the law? which is what the ?Clean Air Act? already does. I foresee it being enforced by having to have motorcycles ?certified? before they can be registered by emission control facilities manned by the same nice government employees that grant us our driving licenses and that operate the ?Commercial Vehicle Enforcement? agency. If you happen to drive a truck in Iowa you know exactly whom I mean and that they have one thing – ?authority?. Imagine them telling you your bike doesn?t meet emission standards and while they?re at it, telling you it?s too loud.
These proposed rules are just that, proposed. We have a chance to prevent them from going into effect. As part of our legislative agenda for the past year we have sought support from our legislators to issue a ?resolution of disapproval?. There is a public hearing in Ypsilanti, Michigan on September 17th. Vice President of Government Relations for the Motorcycle Riders Foundation Tom Wyld will be there to represent our interests. You can help protect motorcycling, as we know it, by supporting ABATE of Iowa and the MRF. For more information go www.mrf.org.
Ride Safe, Ride Proud, Ride Free!
–Tim Nelson
iaxlcustom@aol.com
BIKERNET MEDICAL REPORT–In the year 2001, five times more money was spenton breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer’s research.
Presumably, we can predict that in thirty years, there will bea great number of people walking around with huge breastsand erections, unable to remember what to do with them.
–from Rogue
BIKE ARTIST FOUND–Several years ago I was looking for a particular artist to illustrate one of my book covers. In an effort not to be found he ran to South America. Well I finally dug him up on the corner of downtown San Jose in a Costa Rican coffee shop. He’s been duck-taped and loaded aboard a tramp freighter for shipment back to the states where he will illustrate my next book cover.
Bikernet undercover agents are responsible for locating the scoundrel who painted the above painting. Check out some of Dave Rodrigues art on the following site:
PAUGHCO’S REVOLUTIONARYNEWTAPERED LEG SPRINGERS–The world’s oldest, largest and most popular line of custom and OEM style Springer front ends just doubled in size! Paughco has completely reengineered their original designs in developing a new line fit with OVAL TAPERED REAR LEGS! Stronger and more closely resembling original OEM springers, the new Paughco front ends are available in a mind boggling collection of styles and sizes. Tapered leg models can be ordered in traditional Wide springer styles fit with or without the factory style shock. Or, you can order Paughco’s popular Narrow Springer, once again with the new tapered rear legs. All models are offered in lengths ranging from stock up to 21- over in increments of 3-inches. Finished in Paughco’s legendary in-house chrome, the new TAPERED LEG SPRINGERS can be found at http://www.paughco.com”
SOMEONE HAD TO BRING UP A DENTIST AGAIN–Nina completed four weeks of dental restoration with the dentist… She confided to her best friend Rosey that she had fallen in love with her dentist and she was going to propose to him.
Rosey said, “Nina, you’re 34 years old, you’re beautiful, you have dozens of men that adore you. Why is this dentist THE man for you?”
“Because,” explained Nina, “he is the first man that ever said to me — ‘SPIT, don’t SWALLOW’.”
–from Rogue
FIREFIGHTER REPORT–The world over has tremendous respect for firemen, but there’s always one bad egg, and he’s a pal of mine. The bastard has wanted a bike for a couple of years but can’t decide on what to ride. Here’s the lastest: “I ended up NOT getting the Firefighter Special H-D….I did not like the color….but the Paul Yaffi “Fallen Angel” is for sale by private party for $34K obo….wadaya think ?” Joe.
What do I think? He’s nuts. First the firefighter specials are cool Road Kings that the factory created special deals on for firemen. It would be a good rider for a long time to come. Second, Paul Yaffee is a friend and a master builder, but Joe is a monster of a man and wouldn’t fit this sleek sled. I’m beginning to think Joe likes bikes but is afraid to ride. I’ve been trying to get him to meet Paul. The Phoenix builder could build him a chopper that would fit.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON’S 100TH ANNIVERSARY SEAT COLLECTION HELPS RIDERS GET BACK IN THE SADDLE– Harley-Davidson Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories unveils new gloss black accessories for select Touring and Softail model motorcycles. If you’re looking for a good Harley-Davidson 100th Anniversary accessory think Bad.
The 100th Anniversary Badlander Seats from Harley-Davidon Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories offer sleek seating for anyone looking to add a little centennial style to their Harley-Davidson. With low, lean styling, the Badlander seats fit your bike (and your butt) better than any other seat on the market. Each one includes a passenger grab strap and is accented with a recessed prismatic Harley-Davidson 100th Anniversary logo to proclaim your Centennial pride.
The Badlander Seat for V-Rod (P/N 53309-03) is a two-piece seat and pillion combination that follows the strong lines of the V-Rod’s saddle form. It fits ’02 and later VRSC models and has a suggested U.S. retail price of $229.
The Badlander Seat for Sportster (P/N 53302-03) has a lower seat height, which adds comfort and confidence for the rider with a shorter inseam. The clean custom seat has a seat width of 12 inches and a passenger pillion width of 5 inches. It fits ’83 and later XL models and has a suggested U.S. retail price of $209.
The Badlander Seat for Dyna (P/N 53303-03) flows from the tank to the rear fender and has a seat width of 11 inches and a passenger width of 5 inches. The seat fits ’96 and later Dyna models and has a suggested U.S. retail price of $209.
The Badlander Seat for Softail (P/N 53304-03) is low and lean, providing an ideal seat height for ?low-riders. The seat includes an integrated chrome rear mounting bracket and has a seat width of 11.5 inches and a pillion width of 5.5 inches. It fits ’00 and later Softail models (except FXSTD and FLSTS) and has a suggested U.S. retail price of $209.
The Badlander Seat for Deuce (P/N 53305-03) was created to be a historic addition for a renaissance vehicle. This complete package includes all of the necessary mounting hardware and fits ’00 and later FXSTD models. The Deuce version has a seat width of 12 inches and a pillion width of 6.5 inches. Suggested U.S. retail is $209.
The Badlander for Road King (P/N 53312-03) is generously sized for long-riding comfort. With a seat width of 12.25 inches and a pillion width of 4.5 inches, the Road King version fits all ’97 and later FLHR/C/I models and has a suggested U.S. retail price of $219.
The Badlander for Electra Standard or Road Glide (P/N 53311-03) delivers low-slung cruiser comfort from the dash console to the rear fender. The seat width is 12.5 inches and the passenger pillion measures 4.5 inches. The seat fits ’97 and later FLHT models and ’97 and later FLTR/I models and has a suggested U.S. retail of $219.
In addition to the Badlander Seats, Harley-Davidson Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories is also offering 100th Anniversary Backrest Pads for a large variety Harley-Davidson models. Adorned with the same 100th Anniversary logo as the Badlander seats, the backrests are easy to install and are designed for a perfect Genuine fit. They provide your bike with the perfect finishing touch and your passengers with the added support they need for extended riding.
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