Continued From Page 1.
THE ELEVENTH COMMANDMENT–During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God,?Moses and St. Peter concluded that the behavior of?former President Clinton and Rep. Condit had?brought about the need for an eleventh commandment.
They worked long and hard in a brain storming?session to try to settle on the wording of the new?commandment, because they had realized that it should?have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the?eleventh commandment should be:”Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff.”
CYRIL HUZE VERTICAL L.E.D SIDEMOUNTS– These two?new vertical sidemounts incorporate a very bright taillight with two brightness levels for run and brake lights. They include the frame and backing plate and all necessary hardware. All components are machined from 6061-T6 billet aluminum and beautifully chrome plated. Choose between two styles: nostalgic “Kool Rod”?or art-deco “Victory”?design. Pick the bracket corresponding to the installation you prefer: axle, frame tubes (1 inch or 1 1/8 inch) primary, passenger peg?or shock mount.?Taillights are available as separate units to be installed on rear fenders.??
Cyril Huze
Tel: (561)392-5557
Fax: (561) 392-9923
Website: http://www.cyrilhuze.com
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com
BIKERNET RELIGIOUS RUMORS–An old man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children,grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two collegegirls who were hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of themthree times.
Priest: Are you sorry for your sins?
Man: What sins?
Priest: What kind of a Catholic are you?
Man: I’m Jewish
Priest: Why are you telling me all this?
Man: I’m telling everybody.
Regan Varrone not only carries the title of crew chief forher husband Bucky and has the warmest smile on the track, but she alsotunes his Top Fuel bike. And you thought she was just for decoration.
BIKERNET DRAG RACING REMINDER–Have you checked out the latest feature in the Bikernet Drag Racing sectioncalled “Down the Track”? It is the points chart for the entire 2001 seasonshowing all race results broken down by race for each competitor. SinceAHDRA posts only the totals for the year-to-date, yet they supply me withALL the details, they have traded links with us. Bikernet now has a Webbanner on the AHDRA home page to guide rabid race fans here and we haveposted theirs in the “Down the Track” section as well.
I tried to rest on these laurels, but I’ve run into a mathematical snag:Only the top eight out of 13 races attended by a given racer are counted towardtheir national points total. This means I have to figure out how to countonly the eight best scores and yet still show you, the reader, all their scoresfor the season. So far, only four racers have attended all nine races to date,but after Woodburn, I’ll have to chase down The Digital Gangster and hookhim back up to the computer. Ever see those science fiction movies wherethey wire up the chicken to the guy? Keep your fingers crossed.
The Northwest Nationals at Woodburn, Ore., are this weekend, Sept. 8-9.Hope to see you there. If you need more information on the event, go towww.AHDRA.com
RIDER RESTROOM ADVICE–A biker is standing at a urinal when he notices that he’s being watched by a leprechaun.Although the little fellow is staring at him intently, the biker doesn’t get uncomfortable next to him, until the leprechaun drags a small stepladder up next to him, climbs it and proceeds to admire his privates at close range.
“WOW!” comments the leprechaun. “Those are nicest balls I have ever seen!”
Surprised and flattered, the biker thanks the midget and starts to move away.
“Listen, I know this is a rather strange request,” says the little fellow, “but I wonder if you would mind if I touched them.”
Again the biker is rather startled, but seeing no real harm in it, he obliges the request.
The leprechaun grabs the stool, climbs on it and reaches out to get a tight grip on the man’s balls, and says, “OK, hand over your wallet or I’ll jump!”
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Well, the WCC is done! Just some minor details left, but at least it’srunning. The seat and fender are on the way, now the shakedown runs willtake place. Also the second bike is on the way, hope to keep everyoneposted on the progress. For those of you interested, it started on thefirst try and I took the maiden voyage an hour later.On the other hand, it’s been raining like crazy here, I guess since we arein the middle of hurricane season right now, watching those peskystorms as they cruise the Atlantic and hoping they avoid the Caribbean.
Now on another line of thought, it’s cool that since I have started writingfor Bikernet there are people calling and friends following every week’snews. Better yet, all have been positive remarks. It’s great to be ableto show you what’s up on our little island and the new projects from our shop.I have made the effort to do this every week and hope to keep on as longas a) I don’t bore anyone, b) Bandit allows me, c) we dont get a hurricane.Oh well, since this was a true Labor Day weekend for us, here is the news….
The MDA run was a wet one. Attendance was limitedby the rain, but I still saw a few brave bikers headingback in the pouring rain.
Custom Chrome Inc. will celebrate its annual dealer’s meeting in SantaClara, Calif., Sept. 29-31. The three-day event will be chockfull of their suppliers and dealers. IF you happen to be a CCI dealer orfriend, call them up and make sure to attend.
The Key West Poker Run is near. The run from Ft. Lauderdale to Key West isgreat, and Key West is a cool place to party. We did that ride one yearand are still talking about it. Remember, in Key West it is legal to drink inthe street and expose your breasts, what a fun combo! Call Peterson’s H-Dfor info.
The HOG Caribbean Rally is near. If you have interest in this ride throughPuerto Rico, call a Motorsport H-D dealer or send us an e-mail and we willshoot the info back. Bikes can be shipped from the U.S. for this event. It’s a blast.
Make sure to pick up a copy of The Horse magazine, November issue, in which some of ourPuerto Rican bikes will be featured, as well as an Iron Maiden. Check it out andlet us know how you like it.
Here are some photos of the almost-done WCC bike. Like I said before, there’s sometweaking left and things like the front fender and seat are on the way. Hope you guys dig it, the new owner certainly does…
–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Report.
ANOTHER SALOON SAGA– An Irishman, an Italian and a Polish guy are in a bar. They arehaving a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place. Then the Irishman says, “Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there’s a better one. At MacDougal’s, you buy a drink, you buy another drink and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!”
The others agree that sounds like a nice place. Then the Italian says, “Yeah, that’s a nice bar, but where I come from, there’s a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there’s this place, Vinny’s. At Vinny’s, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys you anudda drink.”
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar. Then the Polish guy says, “You think that’s great? Where I come from, there’s this place, Warshowski’s. At Warshowski’s, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then they take you in the back and get you laid!”
“Wow!” said the other two. “That’s fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?”
“No,” he replied, “but it happened to my sister!”
Click For Larger .pdf View
–Chris T.
EFFECTING LEGISLATIVE CHANGES–If you want to find out what you can do to help protect yourconstitutional rights, listen up. If you want to meet a man who believes this,you can’t afford to miss this meeting. Come listen to state Sen.Edward Vincent speak and answer questions about how YOU can regaincontrol of your life. There isn’t a TV show, sporting event or much elsemore important that demands your time and immediate attention more thanthis. Don’t come crying to ABATE, AMA or the other motorcyclists’ rightsorganizations when you get told to: Get rid of those loud pipes boy; where is your Kevlar protective clothing boy?
WHERE: Mission Viejo Community Center
ADDRESS: 24932 Veterans Way, Mission Viejo, Calif.
WHEN: Oct. 23, 2001
TIME: 7:00 p.m.
HOST: ABATE Local 9
NO MORE EXCUSES
Information: Steve Bauman (949) 586-9468
Continued On Page 3.
